Chapter Twenty

Olivia closed her eyes and sighed in frustration. She threw her pen down on top of her mountain of paperwork. It was no use. She had been working on the same page for nearly half an hour. Normally, she would've been happy to finally be back at work. It would mean things were getting back to normal. But she couldn't clear her mind. Olivia closed her eyes briefly. She couldn't stop feeling his touch on her skin - he was tender and delicate; and in a lot of ways, he surprised her. It felt different. Different from her other relationships, different than how she fantasized. There was ADA Rafael Barba and there was Rafa. The way he kissed the scars and cigarette burns Lewis left behind - it was as if he was absolving some of that trauma. His whispers of devotion still rang in her head.

Olivia's eyes snapped open.

The ring in his jacket pocket...

That was the biggest reason she hadn't been able to focus all morning. Finding it was an accident. A split second. He was making coffee in the kitchen and all she wanted to do was pick up his dress pants off the floor. It only took a split second for the box to fall onto the floor - for her to realize what it was. A split second that she couldn't stop thinking about since. Olivia shook her head a little. This shouldn't even be that big of a deal. They were already married. He already made it clear that he wanted to keep it that way. But still - for some reason, a ring meant something more. A ring that she wasn't supposed to know about.

There was a knock on the door. It made her jump slightly.

Olivia waved her hand at Amanda. She saw that the new young UC was with her. Olivia stood to greet them.

"Lieutenant, this is Officer Katriona Tamin. She's helping us with Sir Toby's case."

Olivia extended her hand to the young woman.

"Call me Kat, it's faster."

Rafael sighed and checked the clock on the wall. He hoped this wouldn't take too much longer. He was supposed to be home in time for dinner with Olivia by 7:30 and at this rate, he might not make it.

The buzzer sounded and Danner was escorted into the room. As soon as he saw who was there to visit him he smiled slightly and shook his head in disbelief.

"I heard you ran into a bullet the night your bitch of a wife arrested me."

Rafael smiled condescendingly. The very fact that Danner had immediately tried to get under his skin was actually good news. In his experience, it meant he had something worth digging for. Something to hide.

"Well, you would know better than anyone, wouldn't you?"

He didn't respond, instead choosing to sit in silence. Rafael was not intimidated by this though. It was funny, he thought - he had been out of the DA's office for a year now but dealing with low-life criminals, it appeared, was something not easily forgotten.

"Speaking of my wife - what is it about her that irritates you so much?"

"You mean besides the fact that she's the reason I'm in here?"

"I mean it's pretty obvious you ordered a hit on her before you were even arrested. And hiring her brother too? I mean, what a crazy coincidence," Rafael said sarcastically.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure, sure. The thing is - I'm gonna keep coming back. Every single week, until you tell me what you know. And weekly visits from a former ADA? Probably not the best look for you in here," Rafael gestured with his hands.

Danner's face remained unreadable. Rafael hoped that this would work. He needed to know that Olivia was safe. She was acting like nothing was wrong, but he knew that there was nothing stopping Danner's gang from trying again. Not until they stopped them.

It wasn't until after she had put Noah to bed that she started to worry. He was late. Obviously late. Hours late. She didn't want to be overbearing. She wanted to give him his space, but ever since the shooting, she had been anxious when it came to him. Suspicious of every glint off a window, apprehensive every time they exited a building. He wasn't the first person that had been shot in front of her - so she knew how this was going to go… the fear would never completely go away, it would eventually ease. But apparently not tonight…

Olivia had tried calling him and wished she hadn't when it went straight to voicemail. That only made her mind race more. And if she was being honest, it was more than just a fear for his safety. Rafael had been carrying around a ring for God knows how long, and after sleeping one night together he goes silent… not great for the ego. She was objectively being ridiculous. There was no reason to question his devotion to her. Just like there was no reason to question hers for him. And yet, she couldn't help herself.

Just then, she heard the lock jingle and the door open. She relaxed a little. But the feeling was fleeting…

"I was wondering if you were going to show up."

He smiled, shrugging off his coat and locking the door. "I'm sorry, I'm late. I got caught up with some work." Olivia narrowed her eyes, but he didn't notice. He clearly didn't understand how worried she was. Rafael made his way over to her, kissing her lightly on the cheek. When he pulled back he smiled.

It was a genuine smile. She could tell he was genuinely happy. But she could also tell that he had just lied to her face.

Olivia was suspicious of why Dodds wanted to meet with her so late on a Friday afternoon. She smiled politely at his secretary as she gestured for her to enter his office. Olivia knocked three times on the open door.

"Ah, Olivia, come in," Chief Dodds waved his hand, standing from behind his desk. His office looked completely different than usual… empty. It was then that she noticed the boxes scattered around. He was busy loading his belongings into them. What was going on...? "Sit, please," he gestured with his hand. They sat together.

He opened his mouth but didn't say anything. The moment dragged on and Olivia began to worry. It was as if he was trying to tell her something but couldn't choose how to start. He cleared his throat.

"Chief… What's going on? Are you okay?"

"The powers at be have decided that I can't be trusted to work with the DA's office going forward."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm being sent to coventry. As of Monday morning, I'll be riding point for the traffic and pedestrian safety task force." He sighed, "on Staten Island -"

"No, no, no, they can't do that."

"Feathers were ruffled so a head has to roll."

"Feathers? How could they - you said you never even testified during my case…" His silence was deafening. It was revealing. Olivia's heart sank. She felt sick. "You did testify, didn't you…?" The realization sickened her. This was her fault. She felt like a wrecking ball gathering favors and destroying everyone around her in return. 'Guilty' didn't seem to even scratch the surface of how she was feeling right now. Dodds had known the consequences. He knowingly sacrificed himself for her and she couldn't do anything to help him. A fire erupted in her gut.

"This is absurd - I - I will call the press, I will call 1PP, I will call whoever I have to! This is ridiculous!" She was standing now. A cocktail of anger, shame, and guilt boiling inside her. Dodds remained sitting and smiled calmly. A knowing smile. Like he predicted this reaction. He leaned forward in his chair.

"Liv, let it go," he muttered earnestly. "I've had a good run - and it's not time for you to stick your neck out."

"I'll be the judge of that," she seethed, defiantly.

"No, you won't," his firm voice responded. He stood slowly from his chair and walked to the other side of the desk. Dodds sat on his desk facing her. Olivia couldn't even meet his eyes. She couldn't believe that this was happening. And worst of all that she caused it.

"Why not?" She sounded desperate. Like suddenly, the fight had been taken out of her. She hung her head to avoid his gaze.

"Because you still have work to do, and gas in the tank. It would be a wasted sacrifice… Captain." Dodds smiled slightly when her head snapped back up, a shocked look on her face. "I made it a condition of my exile. Don't worry about me. I'll be back."

He turned and put the last of his things into a nearly full box. Olivia felt emotion welling up behind her eyes. She sighed. She didn't know what to say. It should've been her packing up her office. It should've been her being exiled to Staten Island...

"You are a good man, William Dodds."

Placing the lid onto the box, "You are a class act, Olivia Benson. Long may you run."