October

Alice,

I don't know what to do anymore. Why won't you reply? Charlie has been going off at me because I can't stop the pain from him leaving. It's been a month. He promised me forever and he wouldn't even give me a month.

Please Alice, respond. You're the only one I can trust.

Bella

November

Alice,

Please respond or I'll come up there and find you and force you to tell me anything. He doesn't have to be there I don't care anymore. He's left me and that's that. I just wish you would talk to me. I've got no-one.

I still love you.

Bella

December

Alice,

Answer me please. I really need to talk to you.

It's not urgent but I really do.

If you value my dignity, sanity and me in total, you would reply. I'm even thinking about breaking my promise to him.

Just say you can't talk to me. I'll leave after that.

Please Alice.

Bella

January

Book 2- Chapter 3: Waking Up

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me, someone like me…

His fist came down on the table. "We both know what's really going on here, Bella, and it's not good for you." He took a deep breath. "It's been months. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can't keep waiting for him." Charlie says and I flinch.

"You don't understand" I say and he frowns. "You aren't like me. You don't understand what this is doing to me. You can't send me away and I don't need any help" I say my voice rising a little and he frowns.

"I don't understand Bella…you are right but Bella…isn't there a way you can get help?" he asks me and I frown and shake my head. "Have you been able to contact Alice?" he asks me and I frown.

"No…it's still doing that same thing. I think she's reading them, but sending them back as undelivered. I think Edward told her not to contact me if it gives me the little bit of hope I need" I say and he nods.

"Makes sense" he mumbles. "What are you going to do?" he asks me and I frown and shrug as I watch him make dinner.

"I might go up to the Reservation then I might take a couple days' worth of trips up to see the Denali's maybe" I say and he nods. "Plus…I'm not waiting for anything. I don't expect anything," I said in a low monotone.

"Bella–," Charlie began, his voice thick.

"I have to go," I interrupted, standing up and yanking my school bag from the table and swinging it over my shoulder. I jump into my truck, but instead of going towards the school, I automatically turn towards the reservation. I drive in and I see the wolf pack emerging.

"Bella" Jake says as he hugs me and I smile. "What are you doing here? Don't tell me you're slumming it?" he asks me and I laugh and shake my head.

"Bella! We thought you left with the Cullen's" Sam says and I frown and shake my head as the pain returns back into my chest. "What's the reason for your little visit?" Sam asks and I frown.

"You guys…mainly Sam and a few others, are the only ones that might be able to understand me. I've tried talking to Charlie but he just doesn't get it. I understand if you don't want to explain to me what's happened to you but…you're the only ones I can turn to" I say and everyone frowns.

"Ok then" Embry says as he sits down on the log near the bush. "Explain" he says as I follow them and stand opposite them. "What's happened" he asks as I take a shaky breath. "Vampires don't breathe like that" he says as an explanation. I take a few deep breaths and prepare for the pain for the next couple of minutes.

"Ok so you know how the Cullen's left town…" I say and they nod. "I was talking to Edward the day he was about to leave at school and…he…broke up… with me. Said he didn't love me anymore, apparently we weren't mates because…he said Tanya is his mate…I'm planning to go to Denali, probably tomorrow maybe. But my guess is that Alice will tell him I'm going and flee with the rest of the Cullen family. But I know we're mates and he said that if we were mates, the emotional pain from being away from each other for too long would occur…and exactly that has been happening" I say and they nod.

"So your kind, mate for life?" Jake asks and I nod. "And Edward was your mate?" he asks me and I nod. "But he broke up with you?" he repeats and I shake my head. "He's got some nerve he does" Jake says as he comes up to me and hugs me.

"Sounds a bit like Sam's situation" Paul grins at Sam. "Go on, tell her your situation." Paul says and Sam sighs.

"Here goes nothing" Sam mumbles but I don't respond. "Werewolves, or Shapeshifters, we like to call ourselves…our situation is like yours. We imprint instead of mate. They are almost similar, but imprinting isn't a choice. It's like when you first see her and nothing else matters and it's no longer gravity holding you to the ground, it's her…for me it's Emily Young. Leah Clearwater's cousin. She's my fiancé. I was with Leah, high school sweethearts and everything. Then I met Emily and imprinted on her and had to end it with Leah. Leah was devastated. She still hates me to this day. And what's worse is that it's biologically impossible for us to be away from them for so long" Sam says and I frown.

"Sounds awful" I mumble and he laughs and shakes his head. "But it's not possible to control imprinting?" I ask him and he shakes his head. "I guess our species are almost similar… ALMOST" I say before they can hate me too much. "My kind get an almost choice. I met Edward but we didn't start dating until the day after. I chose him, he chose me. Well at least I think he did. Mating isn't one sided either." I say and everyone frowns and Jacob hugs me tightly.

"Stay here anytime. You can join us on the hunt for the red head too if you want" Jake says and I cough.

"What?" I scream and they flinch.

"Bella…"

"Victoria is in FORKS?" I ask them and the look at me. "She's coming back to kill me" I mumble and they flinch.

"Why though?" Sam asks and I sigh.

"Because her mate James tried to kill me and we killed him first" I say and they nod.

"Grief is making her do terrible things" Jacob says and I nod.

"I'm going to go…I'll see you tomorrow. I can do a perimeter run if you want?" I ask Jacob and he nods.

"Sure thing" he says as I walk off to my truck. The drive to Alaska was a long one. It too several hours to reach my destination, and to my surprise, the Denali cousins walked out to greet me.

"Bella! What are you doing here?" Kate asks me and I glare at Tanya.

"I'm here to see Alice" I say and Kate frowns. "You figured as much didn't you" I ask and she nods, her strait blonde hair bouncing.

"Yeah. She's inside" Carmen says and I nod as I walk towards the door and open it. "She's upstairs" Carmen informs me and I nod as I swiftly climb the stairs. Once I'm up, I walk in and see the short, black haired, pixie like girl standing there.

"Alice" I choke out and she smiles. I run up to her and hug her "I missed you so much. Why didn't you reply to my emails?" I ask her and she frowns.

"I couldn't because Edward-" I flinch at the name and the pain builds in my chest "was around. He saw one of them and didn't come back hunting for a week… They're all out hunting right now anyway. I've been blocking my mind from Edward a lot since that Email. I missed you so much too!" she says as she sits down on the couch.

"Why did you all leave me?" I ask her and she frowns.

"It was to keep Charlie safe" she says and I frown. He still isn't as safe with me. What was the point? "Esme and Carlisle have decided that they are coming back. They're coming with Jasper too. Rosalie, Emmett and Edward-" I look at her and she frowns "Decided that they might be a couple more bears and lions, and elk later" she says before look outside to see Esme, Carlisle and Jasper.

"Bella" Esme whispers as she hugs me and Carlisle frowns and turns to jasper before whispering something unintelligible. "Oh we all missed you so much. It was like leaving one of my daughters behind" Esme whispers and I frown.

"I missed you too" I say as I walk up to Carlisle and hug him. He chuckles and I grin as I move to Jasper and nod. "I missed all of you so much" I whisper then I see Rosalie and Emmett appear at the door and they walk in.

"There she is!" Emmett says as he walks up to me and hugs me enthusiastically. "How's it going?" he asks me and I grin.

"It's been…fine" I say. Fine was an understatement. I've been a mess. "How have you been?" I ask him and he laughs.

"Always so polite" Rosalie scoffs and I smile at her as she hugs me quickly before turning to talk to Carmen about something. Suddenly everything goes quiet and I slowly an gracefully turn to see Edward standing there with an emotionless expression.

"What are you doing here?" he growls at me and I turn away from him.

"I can go where I want" I say loudly as I walk towards Alice and Esme. "I should get going" I say and they nod sadly

"I wish you could stay longer" Esme whispers and I frown. Alice suddenly grabs me and pulls me towards an empty room with nothing but a bed and a book shelf and shoves me in there.

"Why am I in here?" I ask her as she closes the door behind her.

"It's about that vision" she says and I frown. "Bella you need to understand that it hasn't changed. Edward is still there, you aren't…but I can't tell who else is missing but your eyes are still red…and that I really want you to marry Edward which is I'm doing this… for your own wellbeing and good" she says and suddenly she yells. "Emmett, Jasper bring him in" and runs out the room. Suddenly Edward is escorted by Edward in and they push him in and walk out the room, locking the door behind them. I look at him and he looks at me before I walk to the book shelf. There wasn't much books on the shelves. Mostly little personal items, family pictures. Pictures of Carmen and Elazar's wedding, multiple pictures of Rosalie and Emmett's multiple weddings, a few pictures of Alice and Jasper's only wedding ceremony. Finally there is numerous pictures of Carlisle and Esme's wedding and pictures of what seemed to be the Denali sister's creator.

With a sigh, I pick up one of the thick novels and begin to read in a little chair by the window. I heard Edward pacing across the room, he was the first one to speak, and he handed me his phone. "You should call Charlie" he murmurs. I nod and dial Charlie's number, as it rings, I feel Edward's gaze and stand up before walking to the window.

"Hello?" Charlie answers and I smile.

"Dad" I say and I already hear the panic and I frown.

"Hey…what's happened? Where are you? Why aren't you home?" he asks me and I sigh.

"Thank Alice" I say and he sighs. "I went to the reservation early this morning to explain everything to Jake and then I decided to come and visit Alice" I say and he sighs.

"I thought you said that you didn't care anymore" he says and I frown but then I remember that he can't see me.

"No I never said that at all. Anyway I visited Alice and now they are holding me hostage with another person" I say and he sighs.

"Who?" he grunts and I flop onto the seat again.

"I gotta go. But you probably have a fair idea of who" I say and he sighs.

"Bye, love you" he says and I smile unconsciously.

"Love you too. Bye" I say before hanging up. I throw the phone on the bed and turn to ignore Edward who sighs but I still feel his gaze on me. he gives up and I turn to the window where I remember everything he's ever said to me…

*Flashback*

"I…Bella I…don't love you anymore" he says and I stop breathing. What? But we are mates.

"But…" I start and he looks back into my eyes. "We are mates. We can't" I say and he frowns.

"Tanya…I think she's my mate. You…you've just fallen for someone who you've attached yourself to because we have the same…condition." He says and I shake my head.

*Flashback*

"Stay?" I ask him as he turns around. "Or would you rather be with Rosalie and Emmett?" I ask him and he laughs.

"Hmm. I'll stay for you" he says as he sits down next to me and I lean against him. "Forever" he whispers so quietly so that only I can hear.

"Forever" I agree.

*End of Flashbacks*

I am unaware of my dry sobs until Edward is kneeling by my side. His hand lays on my thigh and I move away. Then he talks to me. "Bella we need to talk"