A/N: Hello! So I initally started writing the entirety of the trial, and was going to include the trial in this chapter, but decided against it cause it turned out to be like over 10k words. I know some of you like longer chapters, but when I re-read everything, it sounded like a bunch of rambling. And, the trial will/might be a bit tedious (depending on how well y'all think I've written it, might just be tedious because I've re-read it so many times myself now (lmao), but yeah. It's written, so it won't be that long until the next chapter comes out!
TW: This chapter contains mentioning of miscarriage and mentioning of both verbal and physical abuse.
Happy reading!
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tess Gerritsen, author and creator of the Rizzoli and Isles book series. Inspiration is taken from both the books and the TV-series Rizzoli&Isles (created by Janet Tamaro/Jan Nash). I am in no way affiliated or making money off of this. I'm simply having fun with their universe.
When Maura crawled into bed next to Jane that night, all she could think of was the video Jane recorded of her conversation with Ian. It was like her brain was stuck on replay, and she couldn't get the image of herself standing there so vulnerable, so helpless, out of her head. At the moment, when she spoke with Ian, her stance had been so strong, she couldn't recall feeling helpless, imagining she appeared stronger as well, letting Ian know she wasn't to be toyed with. Seeing herself like that on the video was like a reality check of what she had become. The minutes after Ian had hastily left her property, it was as if her memory of their talkfest was slowly fading, leaving the words spoken all hazy and blurry. Though she could recall it through the tape, remembering every word, it was as if she was standing on the outside looking in.
Before Maura realised that their marriage had started crumbling, realising who Ian really was, she had involuntarily lost the image of herself, the memory of who she was and used to be. And, the video had really captured that. Maura wasn't helpless, she wasn't one to cave into being belittled or invalidated, it simply wasn't her. She wasn't one to give herself over to someone who's weapon of choice was employing strong vocabulary and empty threats. As she drifted into sleep that night in Jane's arms, all she could think of was how she, over the past year, had left what was left of her in Ians pocket. She hated how she had suddenly become so self aware.
Jane awoke that morning in an empty bed, her eyelids as heavy as ever, and it physically hurt when she forced her eyes open. She felt the hair on her arms rise in response to the cold air that came seeping in from the open window to the right of her. Her hand felt around to grab the blanket that had somehow ended up on the floor, and she draped it around herself as she got out of the bed to close the window, her eyes squinting as they met the harsh ray of sunlight peeking out from behind the neighbouring house. It couldn't be that late in the morning, she thought, perhaps around eight since the sun had decided to wake from its slumber. She had almost shut the window completely when she noticed someone standing in the back yard, and though her eyes had yet to adjust, she could tell it was Maura who was stood in there. Smiling to herself, she studied the blonde. She looked so concentrated as she walked towards the birdhouse, coffee cup in one hand, birdseeds in the other, carefully sprinkling them on the wooden patio of the birdhouse for the birds to enjoy later. Jane sleepily went downstairs to go join Maura outside, but when she arrived at the end of the staircase, Maura had already gone inside.
"Serving the birds breakfast?" Jane yawned, making her way towards Maura and opening her arms so she could wrap the blanket around them both. They were now stood there, hugging, as if they were in a cocoon made out of the fabric, just enjoying the warmth of each other.
Maura rested her head on Jane's shoulder before she spoke, "There are still some birds that haven't left Boston before winter hits,". Maura could feel Jane smiling in response, letting her hands wrap around Jane's waist in a tight embrace.
"Today's the day," Jane mumbled, feeling Maura's nod on her shoulder, "how much time until we gotta leave?"
"Two hours," Maura mumbled, "plenty time for this-" she said, lifting her head and planting a kiss on Janes cheek ever so gently, "and this-" another one to the other cheek, moving closer to the mouth, "and a little bit of this," she said, moving in closer, her lips merely an inch from Jane's, lingering teasingly before she leaned in, feeling Jane reciprocating the touch. She heard a quiet moan escaping from the brunette's mouth as she lightly bit down on her lower lip before pulling back.
"We also gotta get dressed in more court-friendly clothing at some point," Jane breathed.
Maura grinned, "Look at you being the responsible one," she said, tilting her head.
"I'm plenty responsible," Jane said, letting her tone fall deeper, accentuating her raspy morning voice. "But in all seriousness, how are you feeling?" She said. Jane would've had to bring it up at some point. She needed to know how Maura felt. Of course she knew Maura wasn't too excited, more so anxious, but she wanted to give her a chance to express how she actually felt right at this moment. Jane wanted to help in any way she could, even if she couldn't fix how Maura was feeling, it could help her vocalising her concerns.
Maura broke their eye contact for a minute, clearly thinking about how she would answer Jane. She did know how she felt, but she didn't know how to describe it, so she described it the only way she could think of, even though it sounded stupid. Her lips formed into a thin line before she caught Jane's gaze again, "It sounds silly but the only adjective I can come up with to describe the way I'm feeling right now, is that I feel like a clown," Maura said in the most serious tone.
"You feel like a clown?" Jane said, barely able to restrain a laughter. She didn't want to make fun of her girlfriend, but Maura describing herself as a clown was somehow the funniest thing she'd heard coming from her in a while, "where did you get- how," Jane chuckled, receiving a soft giggle from Maura, "why a clown?"
"Well," Maura laughed, "because I've spent so much time reassuring myself that Ian and I were just going through a rough patch, that he was acting the way he was because he had a lot of stress from work. That's what he said anyways," she shrugged, "And, I was dumb enough to believe myself, and dumb enough to believe him when he was acting like a narcissistic asshole. When I saw that video you recorded yesterday, I couldn't recognise myself. I didn't realise that I lost so much of myself when I was with him, almost as if I was posing as someone else- hence the clown reference," Maura finished, once again breaking eye contact, clearing her throat in effort to stop her giggling.
They were able to calm their laughs down a bit before Jane spoke, "A lot of people in abusive relationships don't realise. It's normal- but a lot of people also don't have the guts to confront their spouse or even kick them out of the house and leave them," she said, her voice filled with pure honesty.
"I didn't exactly kick him out of the house, Jane" Maura said, lifting her head up to meet Jane's eyes again.
"Well, he was too afraid to come back after you confronted him, and that's something you should be proud of," Jane confessed.
"That's true," Maura put her head back on Jane's shoulder, "and I don't know how I feel about it yet, my heart still houses a special place for Ian. I don't love him as much as I used too, but I did use to care for him a great deal, and when you care deeply for someone, it takes a while for them to leave that place in your heart," Maura sighed, afraid that Jane would feel hurt, but Jane didn't feel hurt at all by those words. She understood.
"That's the way I felt for Casey as well, and I don't expect you to stop loving Ian right away, you gotta have time to heal. Abandoning that part of you is tough, Maur', you were together for so long and he hurt you, big time. That's rough, it's horrible" Jane said, carefully rubbing circles on Maura's back.
"I love you, Jane," Maura said.
"I love you too Maur'"
They stood there for a few minutes, just enjoying the moment, the closeness, the feel of each other. Not wanting to let go of the warmth and the embrace they so tightly held, wrapped together in a blanket, shielded from the cold morning air.
Maura could feel Jane's body give a slight quiver, and it sounded as if she was crying. Abruptly, Maura lifted her head to see that Jane wasn't, though, she was.. laughing. Maura gave her a puzzled look, smirking. "What's funny?"
Jane's laughter emerged a little louder before she steadied her voice, "I was just thinking," Jane started, a chuckle escaping from the unsuccessful try of clearing her throat, making Maura stare at her with more confusion painted across her face, "I was just thinking about how you felt like a clown," Jane blurted.
"Jane," Maura tried, letting out a soft giggle.
"And, then, I was thinking that Ian is the clown in this situation, in the sense that he's an ass, thinking he's so smart" Jane began,
"He kind of is a clown, I can see that" Maura said, tilting her head, wondering where this was headed.
"But he's not a clown," Jane cackled, "He's the whole goddamn circus," the end of Jane's sentence made them both burst out in an uncontrollable laughter, bodies shaking and tears of laughter streaming down both their faces. The joke itself wasn't that funny, to be frank, but the whole seriousness of the situation they were in made it even more hilarious than it actually was. Sort of when you're laughing and you know you shouldn't be, such as those who start laughing if they're in an accident or attending a funeral. They needed that- being able to joke around even if Maura was about to divorce her husband, they needed to laugh.
After calming down a bit and wiping their tears away, Jane removed the blanket that held them together and carefully slipped out of Maura's embrace and promised Maura she would start making them some breakfast as Maura showered. When Maura came back down again, she found both Jane and Angela sitting at the dining table. Jane had prepared pancakes for herself and Angela, and served Maura some porridge with freshly cut apple slices and raspberries as she sat down beside them. She took in the sweet scent of the berries before popping one in her mouth, mumbling a soft 'thanks' to Jane.
"I spoke with Mr. Bright yesterday on the phone, I gotta admit I'm a bit nervous. I've never been in a courtroom before," Angela confessed, wiping her mouth with a napkin before folding it and placing it on top of her now empty plate.
"You're gonna do just fine, Ma'" Jane said, following her example with the napkin, but Jane scrunched it up rather than folding it neatly. "As long as you're telling the truth you'll be fine, besides you make a great witness- the woman next door," Jane joked, receiving a laughter from both the other women. Even though the room was filled with anxious anticipation regarding today's events, the light joking eased the mood quite a bit. It wasn't like they didn't take it seriously, but they also couldn't sit around focusing on just the nervous aspects of it all. Maura appreciated that.
"The Woman Next Door is actually a great French film from the 80's directed by Francois Truffaut based on the medieval legend of Tristan and Iseult, but set among young middle-class people in a provincial town. La Femme D'à Côte," Maura said in perfect French, "It was my first time watching a film at a cinema, my mother and I watched it together when it had just come to theatres,"
Jane and Angela shared a look, "Your mother took you to watch The Woman Next Door when you were five?" Jane spoke, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course not, Jane. AlloCiné had an anniversary viewing of it when the movie turned 10 years old in 1991. It was my 15th birthday gift, going to France and watching it with my mother. It was her favourite movie," Maura said as a-matter-of-factly, taking the last spoonful of her porridge.
"Gee, Ma'," Jane said, giving her mother a sarcastic glare, "and you only gifted me my very own land-line phone for my room when I turned 15," she playfully shoved Angela, who chuckled in response.
"Have you talked with Constance recently? Does she know what's going on?" Angela said, giving Maura a concerned look.
Maura rose up from her seat, collecting the empty plates and carried them to the kitchen as she spoke, "Well, we did speak yesterday on the phone," she began, placing the plates in the sink, "I did tell her about the divorce, but that's all she knows. I don't want to tell her everything else, she took the divorce pretty hard to begin with. She might have a heart attack if I tell her about the miscarriage and that I'm now in a lesbian relationship," she finished, crossing her arms as she walked back to the table.
"Don't you think she'll be happy you're happy?" Angela tried, carefully trying not to pry.
"She isn't very.. Accepting," Maura responded, "but she'd be upset about the miscarriage. She knows what it's like. Before she adopted me she had miscarried twice,"
"I'm sorry to hear that," was the only thing Angela came up with, not knowing how to respond.
There was an uncomfortable silence between the three of them consisting of Maura looking at her feet, Angela picking at her fingernails, and Jane staring down at the table before she spoke, "C'mon, we gotta get going,"
They all collected their belongings before going to their separate cars. Driving the same car could be seen as suspicious, making it seem as if they all were plotting against Ian, discussing what they were going to say- which Samuel Bright had advised them against. However, they didn't talk much about the case itself, but they didn't want to give anybody a reason to think so. Thus, they got on their ways in their respective cars, taking the 20-minute drive east to city hall where the trial would take place. Angela and Jane went in arrived first and proceeded to enter the building. They would meet Bright at the entrance, and he would then lead them to the room where the trial was going to be held.
"Bright," Jane greeted, he nodded in response, "I have some new evidence with me that I'd like to present," Bright nodded yet again, gesturing for Jane to follow him.
Samuel Bright was dressed in a dark blue suite, and though the color could be mistaken as black, the sun shining through the window revealed that it was in fact more of a navy color. His tie was of a lighter blueish color contrasting well with his white, button-up shirt, complementing his almond skin tone. And, as always, he was sporting his light brown leathered shoes.
"Mrs. Rizzoli, I'll have one of our security guards lead you to the courtroom," Samuel Bright said to Angela, waiving at one of the guards, "Could you take Mrs. Rizzoli here to 301?," The security guard politely obliged and brought Angela further down the hallway toward the elevator. "Now, Detective, you had something you wanted to show me? My office is right through this door," Bright continued, opening the door for Jane to enter.
Once inside of Brights office, Jane fished her phone out of her pocket, "Mr. Faulkner stopped by Ms. Isles last night, and I was able to capture this," Bright stepped closer towards Jane to get a better look at the video Jane had just pressed 'play' on. Jane hadn't rewatched the video since she showed it to Maura the previous night, but she could feel the same rage boiling up inside of her as if she was back at the Beacon Hill house again, watching the conversation. She had so badly wanted to butt in, but knew it would make matters worse. And, based of pure detective instincts, she also knew that if she was able to record the conversation, it would make a nice piece of evidence in Maura's trial.
Bright let out a sigh as the video ended, right when Ian had slammed the door shut, "It's never easy handling these types of cases, but it's even worse when you actually see your client in the situation. Nonetheless, Rizzoli, this is great. I'll go speak with the technician about this after I greet Ms. Isles. I'll probably hand over your phone to her when you're witnessing, and she'll put it on a larger screen,"
Jane nodded before she walked out of his office, "third floor, right? For room 301?"
"Yes, to the left when you get off the elevator,"
"Thanks," Jane said, closing the door behind her as she left. Suddenly, after leaving his office and making her way toward the elevator, it all became very real and her heart started racing. This is it, she thought to herself as she entered the elevator, pressing the button for the third floor, Maura's trial begins in thirty minutes. She rubbed the scar on the palm of her left hand, a nervous habit she'd employed after the incident with Hoyt. Maura had pointed that out to her, she didn't even know she was doing it at times. As the elevator doors closed she saw Ian coming out of another office, accompanied by what she assumed was his lawyer, and her agitated mood turned into a sour one.
Not long after Samuel Bright had said his temporary goodbye to Jane, Maura arrived. Bright met her at the entrance, but they didn't go to his office, they instead went towards room 301, buttered the room besides it. A room where they could have some privacy. Maura assumed it was the backroom of the courtroom, since she spotted another door on the left, possibly leading in to 301.
"How are we feeling?" Bright said as he closed the door behind her.
"Nervous, a bit anxious," Maura confessed, "I assume that's quite normal," she smiled.
"Perfectly normal, I'd be worried if you weren't," Bright said, "Now, I'll have you wait here for just a couple of minutes, and then I'll come get you when we're ready to begin the trial. Anything you want to talk about or bring up before I go?"
"Ian- I mean, Mr. Faulkner came by my house last night. I assume you've already spoken with Det. Rizzoli about it? She showed you the tape she took?" Maura inquired, a bit worried about what Bright thought about her when he saw her on the video. The image of herself standing there looking so defenceless and vulnerable would not get out of her head. It felt as if it would haunt her forever.
"That is correct, it makes for great evidence in your favor," Bright spoke, his voice just as calming as his being. That was one of the first things Maura noticed about Samuel Bright- he had a way of calming people down by simply the tone of his voice, like everything was going to be alright.
Maura gave him a polite smile, already feeling less tense just by being near his presence, "Then I don't have anything else to add,"
"Ok then, there's some water over there," he said, pointing to a couple of water bottles placed on the centred table of the room, "feel free to grab a bottle so you have a sip of water nearby once we begin," He nodded, giving her a reassuring smile as he left through the door to the courtroom.
Once he left, Maura grabbed one of the bottles and leaning on the table. She took a few deep breaths in effort to relax herself. I wonder where Jane is right now, Maura thought to herself, unconsciously tapping her foot, probably in the courtroom she finished her thought, her mind travelling elsewhere. She began remembering the day she sent Ian the divorce papers; she'd just started a new autopsy, or, was about to start a new autopsy when Ian had called her.
«Any thoughts about a cause of death?» Jane had asked her as she walked towards her, making her way towards Maura.
«I called my lawyer, he sent me the divorce papers. I came in here thinking the case would distract me.» Maura confessed. «It didn't. Ian called.» The blonde lifted her head, looking at Jane. The cold, crisp air in the morgue surrounded them, resulting in goosebumps on Jane's arm. She never understood how Maura could work and concentrate in this environment.
«Let's go to your office,» Jane said.
They were both seated in Maura's office. Jane sitting on the desk, Maura in her chair with her arms folded down in her lap.
«What did - why, did he, how did he-» Jane mumbled.
«He,» Maura began, taking a deep breath, «he told me that all of this, the situation, everything, that it was just an excuse for not trying. Trying to conceive. That the miscarriage scared me too much. My confession to him about my sexuality, that it was an excuse that I used for filing a divorce.» Maura revealed. Jane scoffed, what an asshole, she thought to herself. «When I told him I had sent him the papers, and all he had to do was sign them, he refused to.» Maura continued.
«I don't even have words, Maur. I don't, I can't get a grip on what the fuck is going on in that head of his. I'm sorry, but honestly, I don't.» Jane growled through gritted teeth, trying not to make it sound like she was yelling at Maura. «But what happens if he refuses to sign? Does he like, do you press charges or? What happens exactly?» Jane questioned.
«In the state of Massachusetts, there is something called a joint divorce petition. it is when both parts agree that the marriage has served its time. That is the most common divorce petition. The divorced I filed, is called a fault divorce, meaning I filed the divorce because I don't want to be in the marriage anymore, even though he might disagree. What Ian had to do, however, was to simply agree for it to go through.» Maura stated, sitting completely still in her chair. She seemed so tiny in that big chair, Jane thought. Fragile almost.
«But you said Ian refused, what does that mean?» Jane asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer. Maura looked directly into Janes beautiful, safe, hazel eyes, before answering.
«It means that our divorce becomes a case in court. It means that our case goes to trial.»
It had seemed so long ago, yet, it was merely a month since she'd gotten the news that Ian refused. Maura's train of thought stopped when the door to the left opened, and Bright gestured for her to come inside.
The courtroom wasn't that big; it had the Judge's stand, two witness stands, and two tables opposite those stands where the clients would be seated with each of their lawyers. No seats for a possible jury. Behind those tables, three rows of chairs on each side were placed. Maura calculated that it could fit around 14 spectators, if not more. There were room for two more rows, but that wouldn't be needed today. There were only eight spectators today, and Maura knew only two of them; Angela and Jane. They were sat on the row behind Maura and Brights table, directly behind them was what Maura presumed to be three law students, probably here for educational purposes, and, on the rows behind where Ian and his lawyer would sit, there was a man she'd never seen before, and two women behind that very man. After Maura had finished studying the room, she proceeded to sit down. She reached for her chair to take her seat, turning her head to meet Jane's eyes before she sat herself down.
Maura placed her bottle of water on the table, alongside her manila folder, and was about to smooth out her dress when she noticed Ian coming through the door to the right with his lawyer. He looked at her with a blank expression on his face as he walked by and took his seat, Maura followed him with an icy glare. She sensed a devastating feeling settle in the pit of her stomach, realising she felt guilty. Guilty for giving him that glare, guilty for treating him like a piece of trash. No, Maura thought to herself, I will not feel guilty for that bastard, he deserves every icy glare that I have to give, she reassured herself.
Just as the Judge entered the room, accompanied by two security guards, Maura heard the door to the courtroom being opened, followed by the sound of heels clicking on the hardwood floors as . She turned her head automatically in response, letting her eyes fall on the woman who had just entered. Constance.