Chapter Eleven: Heliopause into Heliosphere

Mami shifted, waking me. The memory of the dream burned in my head. It was a dream, it had to have been a dream. The alternative was unthinkable, but the voice and the words...

"You took my friends away from me," I whispered, gazing out into the cloudless sky.

"Huh?" Mami muttered, sitting up.

"It's nothing," I replied. "Just a bad dream."

I felt her stiffen, and I rolled over to look at her. "A nightmare?" she asked. "Where I..."

I sat up and took her hands in mine. "Yes, a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Did you have one, as well?"

She nodded. "I... I killed... And... And you were the only one who remembered. You were the only one who knew about everything that's happened."

I squeezed her hands gently. "It's just a bad dream. We'll see the others in the morning, don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"Do you... Love me, Homura?" she asked, staring into my eyes.

I paused a second too long. "Yes."

"Why did you hesitate?"

"Because I have never had someone, anyone, ask me that. Because I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I have never loved anyone, before, not like this. But I do, Mami. I love you."

Mami smiled, then, and leaned forward, kissing me on the lips. It was slow and soft, but there was an energy behind it, a desire, a hunger that, in all likelihood, had never before been sated, that never before been felt, but now that she knew it was there, it could no longer be ignored. I understood the hunger in her because I found the same hunger in myself, and I kissed her back.

"I love you, too, Homura," Mami said, pulling away and smiling like I'd never seen her smile before. "Maybe, oh maybe, we'll be just fine."

I smiled back. "So swear to me, and say you will hold what's right up in the light and fight through all your fear."

"I swear," she said, and kissed me again.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

The memory of the dream still burned in my head the next morning. Mami was still asleep, on her side, her head on my shoulder, me with my arm under her, my face buried in her hair. She smelled like eucalyptus and mint, the lingering remnants of the shampoo she'd used the night before. For a moment, I almost believed that a normal life could be possible, that I could be happy, that we could be happy, but this was as close to happy as I'd ever come as a magical girl, and I let myself believe it for a moment longer.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

"YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

Mami looked up at me, a bloody grin carved into her face. Her jaw dropped, pouring blood from her mouth, from where her tongue had been. She gurgled for a moment, until she didn't.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

I screamed and bolted up. Mami woke and looked up at me, looking exactly as she should have. "Another bad dream?" she asked.

"No," I replied, panting. "This wasn't a dream. This was something else. This was..."

"This was what?"

I pushed myself against the headboard. "This is a witch's labyrinth being pushed against my consciousness. It is something new. I need to speak with Kamijo."

"But..."

"Yes, I know. With his connection to Sofie removed, his connection to me should likewise be severed. However, it would appear that something lingers, or that something else has taken its place, or perhaps his. I will not know until I speak with him. I need to speak with Sayaka."

"Ok," she replied. She stood, stretched, and made her way to the door. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Yes, thank you."

Mami smiled and left.

'Sayaka, I need to speak with Kamijo.'

'So do I. He's not answering his phone.'

'Do you know where he lives?' I asked, getting out of bed.

'What, you think something's wrong?'

'I do, though maybe not with him. Will we be able to reach him before class, or should we wait for him there?'

'Hmm... Class would be faster, if we have to meet up before going to him.'

'Then I will see you in class.'

I brushed my hair and walked downstairs. "I-"

Suddenly, there was a crash from the kitchen. I ran to see what happened. Mami sat on the floor, pots and pans surrounding her.

"Sorry, I slipped." I stared at her for a second then burst into laughter. "What?"

"I'm sorry, it's... Nothing," I replied, reaching out to help her up.

"No, tell me," she said, taking my hand.

"We fight monsters, you are one of the most graceful people I have ever seen, and I catch you slipping and falling while you put away the dishes. It's... Mundane." I put my hands on the sides of her face and pulled her in, kissing her.

"Mundane?" she asked a moment later, pulling back.

"With everything that we have been through, I want little more than a boring, mundane life with you," I replied.

"Well, at least nothing broke," she said with a laugh, kissing me quickly before picking up the scattered cookware.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

"Good morning, Homura!" Madoka shouted as I walked into class. She was sitting with Sayaka. I walked over to them.

"Good morning, Madoka. Good morning, Sayaka. Have you seen Kamijo yet?"

"Nope," Sayaka responded. "Why do you need him, anyway?"

"I suspect the situation caused by Sofie has not yet been fully resolved."

"Oh." Sayaka shifted in her seat. "So you know."

"I do not know anything for sure, I only have suspicions. You, however, seem to know more than me."

"I bet that's not a good feeling," she replied with a wry smile.

"No, though least of all because it's you."

"Huh?"

"Please tell me what you know."

She sat up in her desk and glanced over to Madoka, who frowned and went to her own desk. "I had some weird dreams last night. They sounded like, well... Kamijo. But not, you know? Like someone ran his voice through a cheap toy or something."

"Like his voice was hollow," I replied. "The way a witch's voice sounds."

"Y-yeah..." Shock ran across her face. "Like a witch. But..."

"Yes, I know what that means. No, I do not know how or why. It is why we must speak with him." I waved Madoka over. "I am sorry for interrupting."

"Oh. It's alright." Madoka smiled politely.

"Excuse me," I said, and walked to my desk.

I kept my eyes on the door. A few minutes later, Miss Saotome walked in. A few minutes after that, the bell rung. Five minutes later, Kyoko walked in. Kamijo still had not arrived.

I glanced over to Sayaka. She glanced back.

'We need to find him.'

'Yes, we do. Leave Madoka with Kyoko. I suspect this will be safer if it is only you and I.'

'Ok, but why?'

'Whatever this is, it seems to be using our connections, or our fears tied to those connections, against us.'

'Right.'

I took a deep breath, let it out slow, and sent a message to everyone. 'Something is going on. Sayaka and I are going to investigate. It is absolutely critical that everyone else keep following their daily routine. I will update you when we have more information.'

'Is this about last night?' Mami replied.

'Yes.'

'You get to go out and fight while we have to stay here?' Kyoko interjected.

'If and when there is a fight, you will be updated. Your role now, Kyoko, is to keep an eye on Madoka. Madoka, you are to keep an eye on Kyoko. Mami...'

'I'll be fine on my own.'

'If anything happens, to any of you, tell us all immediately. We are dealing with another entity which seems to be able to influence our minds. Do not take any unnecessary risks.'

I stood. "Excuse me, I have something I must attend to."

Sayaka jumped out of her seat. "So do I. Sorry."

"Is it the thing you told me not to talk about?" Miss Saotome asked.

"Yes," I replied, walking out.

Sayaka caught up quickly. "I stopped by his house on the way in to school. He wasn't home."

"Or he did not answer his door for you," I noted. "If you are having nightmares, as well, then it is likely he blames you for what has happened to him."

"What has happened to him?" she asked.

"I do not know. First, we must find him."

"Right."

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

Kamijo Kyosuke was not home, according to his mother. He had left before she or his father had woke that morning. It was not unusual, she had said.

"When did you last speak with Kamijo?" I asked Sayaka.

"It's been a few days. This has been... Weird."

I leaned against the railing and closed my eyes. The burning in my head still remained. It was the feeling of a witch's presence, a thousand times stronger than I'd ever felt, amplified by whatever lingering connection Kamijo had to my consciousness.

"I can track him," I said, my eyes still closed.

"How?"

"The way we track witches." I opened my eyes and looked at her. She hid her sorrow well and nodded.

As we reached the downtown area, Sayaka stopped me. "Wait. In case he's not... In case we can save him."

"What do we need?"

"I don't know," she replied. "Something he'd like. Something that's not music."

"Sayaka... He doesn't love you."

"I know," she said, looking down the row of shops. "I know he doesn't love me, or Hitomi, or probably anyone. He loves himself. He loves the version of himself that was going to be famous. But I still love him, and if there's a chance, you know..."

"I know," I replied, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I just ask that you understand why you are doing this."

"I do. I learned my lesson last time." She turned and pointed. "There."

"The jewelry store?"

"The watch store. When we were kids, he told me his grandfather used to collect old watches and that he always wanted them. It's something he wants but that most people don't know he wants, so it's personal. It shows that I care, even if he doesn't."

"Alright, I will follow your lead."

"Just one thing... Do you have money? I mean lots of money, preferably cash."

I checked my wallet, stopped time, and then checked my dial. I pulled out a handbag which I knew used to, at one point, house stacks of yen notes, and which felt heavy enough. "This should cover it."

Sayaka took the bag and looked through it. "How..."

"A thousand lifetimes of taking what I need."

She stifled a laugh, recomposed herself, and led me into the watch store. There was a man behind the counter, already engaged with another customer. Sayaka looked around the shop, looking like she knew what she was doing, until he finished with the man and came over to us.

"Greetings. How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for a watch for my grandfather," Sayaka said, looking up at him. "An antique. Something rare but not flashy."

"Ah. Quality, age, and rarity do not come cheap."

She set the bag on the counter. "Money is not an issue. It is a retirement gift."

The man opened the bag, looked, and closed it again. "I understand. One moment," he said as he bowed, then walked into the back room.

Sayaka shot me a nervous glance. 'Does this seem weird to you?'

'I would not know.'

'Maybe he thinks we stole the money.'

'It would not be-' I stopped as he returned.

"This watch was hand-made in 1837 by a Swiss craftsman as his proof of mastery. It is one of a kind, steel plated in silver with gold hands and a mother of pearl face. It was gifted by the craftsman to a friend who was a diplomat in the 1860s, and gifted again, from diplomat to diplomat, for several decades. Eventually, it was gifted to me before I retired."

"It's perfect," Sayaka said, looking it over. "How much?"

"Three hundred thousand yen, and the promise that your family will gift it and share its story."

"We'll take it." She grabbed the bag and followed him to the register.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

"This is it," I said, stopping in front of a concert hall. I put my hand on the door.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

"I WILL CARVE OUT YOUR SOULS!"

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

I clutched at my chest, where Sayaka had driven her sword. She torqued the blade to the side, pushing me off-balance in a way I'd never before experienced. I managed to plant my foot and stay upright.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

"Homura!" I heard Sayaka shout before I realized I was falling.

I climbed back to my feet. "He has set up a barrier."

Sayaka plunged her sword into the door. The wall shimmered, revealing the illusion. She cut down, giving us an entrance.

The world inside was unlike any labyrinth I'd encountered. At its core, I could feel the same foundation of unfulfilled desires and oppressive grief, but there was no power to it. It was derived from Kamijo Kyosuke, based on his suffering, but it was not of him, not directly. It was not of anyone. It simply existed.

"Do you hear that?" Sayaka asked, stopping in her tracks.

"Music?"

"Yeah, but it's not a violin. It's a cello."

"So?"

Sayaka turned to me. "I used to play cello. It's how he and I met." She continued on, pulling the watch from its bag, wrapping its band around her fingers, stroking its side with her thumb. "It's alright, Kyosuke. I'm here."

I followed. Eventually, we found the stage. On it stood Kamijo, twisted and contorted, one hand wrapped around the neck of his violin, the other gripping the bow. The creature made the motions of music but no sound came out.

Sayaka handed me the watch. "Hold on to this for me, will ya? I need to take care of something." I took the watch and she smiled. "I never was very good, but I always tried. It's time I try again."

She reached out and plucked a bow from the air. A cello appeared on stage. The creature stopped and stared at her as she walked up the steps. "Hi, Kyosuke. It's time to move on, ok? You can't stay stuck in the past."

The cello hummed as she ran her fingers down the strings. She pulled over a chair and sat, taking the instrument in her hands. The bow touched the strings and the instrument sang. The song was melancholia itself, a knife straight to the heart of her relationship with Kamijo. It was a duet played with half the song in silence. I dropped to my knees and clutched my chest, gasping for breath between sobs. It was the magic of the labyrinth, I knew, but also something more, and I wept.

As she held the final note, the creature screamed and charged her. Without hesitation, she stood and drove the bow through its heart. The labyrinth dissolved, leaving only Sayaka and I, and Kamijo in her arms. I stood and walked to them.

"He's dead, then."

"Yes," she replied, wiping away tears. "What happened to him?"

I took his hand, balled around something. "He died in grief, and some connection to you or I or to Sofie gave him the power to manifest his own labyrinth and some likeness of a witch state." I pried open his fingers, revealing a grief seed, and handed it to Sayaka with the watch.

She took both, wiped away another tear, and consumed the seed. "It's funny, I don't feel sad for the Kamijo Kyosuke who died. I feel sad for idea that he might have loved me, one day. I miss the dream of being loved by him more than I miss having him." She set down his body and turned to me. "Thank you."

"For what?" I asked.

"For letting me finish this. I could never have forgiven you if you'd killed him, even if it had been the only way of saving my life, but... I can forgive myself. I chose to live, even if it means living without him. Even if it means living like this."

"I'm glad."

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

Author's Notes:

"I chose to live."

I'm really happy with how this chapter turned out. "It was a duet played with half the song in silence" may be one of my favorite lines that I've ever written, and it has quite a bit of competition for that spot. But, also, this chapter felt like clearing the air. It's the end of Sayaka's recovery saga. It's not that it'll be smooth sailing for her, or for anyone, but more that she can chart her own course now.

Also, Kamijo's song is the Bach-Gonoud arrangement of Ave Maria (as it is in the anime), but Sayaka's song is Dmitri Shostakovich's Introduction (Prelude) from The Gadfly Suite, arranged as a cello duet ( watch?v=ciLsQ9ZsS8c). Sayaka plays the higher part, which is played by the woman (Brooke Scholl, according to the video description) in the linked video. I absolutely love this song.

Finally, Merry Christmas, everyone. Happy Festivus, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, and any holiday I am forgetting, both early and belated. Best wishes to you all for the new year; may we find it and keep it in good health, my standard wish made all the more important by the times in which we live. I'll be back in the new year and I hope you'll all be there with me.