AN: Trigger Warning for mentions of alcohol addiction and thoughts of self harm.

Spencer sat in his hospital room staring quietly at the wall. He could hear JJ in the hall speaking to someone on the phone. Slowly he stood from his position and made his way to the door cracking it slightly.

"Is he alright?" "Do you think he has alcohol poisoning?" "How much did he have?" "Does he need me to come over?" "Okay well you boys have fun." "Will? Don't tell him Spencer asked for him. I don't want Spencer to see him like that." "Love you too."

It didn't take long for Spencer to put the pieces together. He had asked to see Derek, she called him, rushed out of the room, and been on the phone since. He knew it had to be Derek they were talking about.

JJ pocketed her phone and turned around to see Spencer staring at her the door slightly ajar. "Spence, you should be resting." She said softly entering the room.

Spence stepped back allowing her to enter and made his way back to his bed plopping down. He fixed JJ with a look.

Better?

"Much better." She said having picked up on Spencer's nonverbal communications over the past few months. Spencer continued to stare at her begging her to tell him.

"He's not coming tonight" she said "he's uh-uh" she faltered on a lie to tell him. In honesty she had no idea what to say. She wanted to tell him the truth but knew it would be too much for Spencer to handle. He had made so much progress the last two months but still had a long way to go. Telling him about Derek spiraling into alcohol addiction would do nothing but hurt him and set him back.

Spencer pinned her with a look needing to know. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came. He squeezed his eyes shut hating his inability to speak.

Selective mutism is a severe anxiety disorder where a person is unable to speak in certain social situations. An adult with selective mutism does not refuse or choose not to speak at certain times, they're literally unable to speak.

He allowed the words of the book JJ had brought him to replay in his mind. His doctors had told him time and time again that he had gone so far into his own mind, believing it the safest place for him to be, that he had inadvertently triggered the selective mutism. He still struggled to understand how his mind could have been the safest place for him when all it was doing was telling him to harm himself.

JJ crossed the room and placed her hand on his giving it a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry Spence the words will come."

Spencer pulled his hand from hers, putting both his hands together next to his face, indicating that he wanted to sleep.

"Sleep got it. Do you want me to stay?"

He shook his head and laid down his back to her. She rose from the bed and gathered her things before heading to the door. She stopped in the doorway and turned back to look at him. "Good night Spencer."

Spencer didn't reply or make any motion at all. She looked to the floor as she closed the door behind her and stepped into the hall. She glanced down at the date on her phone and sighed.

He had two months left before the Bureau would dismiss him.

Spencer woke the next day as a cheery nurse entered his room. "Good morning Doctor Reid" she chimed.

Good morning

"How are you do today?" She asked.

Okay Cassie. How are you?

He offered her a small smile in return knowing she couldn't hear his thoughts.

"I brought your discharge papers in. I'm so happy you get to go home today. Ms. Jared is picking you up, right?"

Jareau he corrected.

"I've also got your morning medication here." She smiled as she offered him the paper cup of pills and another of water.

He stared at them spitefully but took the cups anyway. Tossing them back he swallowed quickly chasing them with the water.

Cassie beamed at him. "Good if you're feeling up to it we can go over these papers and get you on your way home once Ms. Jared arrives."

Jareau he corrected again and nodded.

Cassie went over the documents painfully slow. Spencer decided to see how many times he could read through the page before she reached the end and finally handed him the pen. He eagerly signed away and thrust the pen and papers back to her.

"I see you're excited to go" she said enthusiastically.

Spencer looked up when there was a knock at the door to see JJ pop her head in. She beamed at him "Spence, you ready to go home?"