The Baby Shower

"Yes, I know she said she didn't want one, but she would say that, wouldn't she? We both know what Andy's like. I think we should just go ahead and arrange it anyway."

Emily pulled over her desk calendar as she spoke into her phone and ran an elegantly polished nail down the squares for the following few weeks.

"How about March 15th? That will be a good day for a Baby Shower, They'll both be back from Paris by then."

On the other end of the line, Hannah hoisted her own baby up onto her hip and went to consult her calendar on the kitchen wall.

"It's a Sunday, right? That should work. All the weekdays are impossible now I'm back at work. Can I ask you to mastermind it, Em, though? My brain is still like porridge after maternity leave and I'm even struggling to remember my Japanese. But I'll do my share, if you just take charge."

Emily sighed, but was relieved. She liked being in charge of running things, and she also liked surprising people. She knew Andrea would get a kick out of a surprise Baby Shower, whatever silly protests she made, and it would be a chance to get together all the old crowd from Runway.

Hannah and she had become close friends since they had shared in the same crazy wedding day with Andy and Miranda, nearly two years before. It was a day never to be forgotten which still gave Emily's lovely wife, Serena, nightmares. After all, few brides expect to see their father chased out of the ceremony by armed police and the FBI, and being forced to escape up in the sky by helicopter.

Nigel had made a big joke of it, protesting that his best man speech wasn't so bad, surely? But it was still a sore point with Serena. Emily's father, minister of religion, retired drug dealer and illegal alien, had looked the model of respectability in comparison to her own miscreant parent!

"Where have you and Seri both been, anyway?" asked Hannah. "We haven't see you around for weeks."

It was true; Emily had just returned from a long absence away from her post as Fashion Editor at Runway. Serena now held a similar position at Vanity Fair. But they had both taken unpaid leave to attend to urgent family business.

Emily hesitated before replying, but decided to tell her and said, "We both attended London Fashion Week, then we went to Angola."

"Angola! Why ever there?"

"Seri went to meet with her father, who lives there now. He's still wanted by police across the civilized world, so decamped to Africa, with his bodyguards, and various staff. In Angola they have no extradition treaties and they speak Portuguese. Her step-mother divorced him, not surprisingly, so it was the first chance she's had to talk to him after our wedding. And it was rather emotional all round. But we kept the trip quiet, and still need to keep his location a secret, so please, Hannah, don't breathe a word about it to a soul."

"Of course I won't. But back to the Baby Shower. Can you sort out a venue and guest list? We should warn Miranda first though, just to make sure Andy isn't double booked, and that she can get her there."

"I'll see to it. I'm calling Miranda on her private line now."

"Good luck with that then. Bye, hon."

"Bye."

Miranda lay in bed next to Andrea late that evening, and cuddled her as best she could, which wasn't easy. Her wife was on the home run in terms of being pregnant, but little Amelia was hardly giving her mother an hour's peace, doing her energetic kicking exercises and causing a great deal of heartburn as she pressed herself up against Andy's ribs.

Miranda suffered broken nights as well, for Andy was taking up most of their bed, and just couldn't get comfortable. There was a lot of tossing and turning going on. But she wouldn't let Andy go to sleep in the guest room as she suggested. Disturbed or not, Miranda never slept as well and her nights were never as restful as when she had the warm presence and gentle sound of her lover breathing beside her.

But now Andy groaned, rolled over and then said, "Sorry honey. You go to sleep. I'm going to sit up and read for a while. I can't seem to settle tonight"

Miranda reached up and switched on the bedside lamp. "Only a few weeks left, love. I can easily sit up with you if you like, talk or play scrabble or something."

"No, you need your sleep. There's no point in both of us pacing the floor. I just need to work off my adrenalin somehow."

Miranda wondered if she should tell Andy about the plans for her Baby Shower. Emily had told her to keep it a secret, but she thought it might cheer Andy up to know what her sister and best friend were planning. Anyway, like most people, she enjoyed breaking harmless confidences.

"Emily called me earlier. She and Serena have returned from West Africa."

"Oh yes? On that supposed-to-be secret mission to visit Dastardly Dad?"

"Yes. She sounded fine, not struck down with malaria, anyway. But she and Hannah between them have cooked up a surprise party for you, and they wanted me to make sure you turn up for it."

"A surprise party?"

Andy always loved parties, but she felt like a mountain at the moment, and certainly didn't feel up to dancing a fandango.

"A baby shower." Miranda's voice spoke volumes. Obviously she considered baby showers in extremely bad taste.

"What did you say?"

"I said very little. You have taught me well. I made vaguely encouraging noises. But I hope Emily and Hannah don't have in mind some vulgar affair where everyone brings you sets of cheap baby clothes, and Walgreen gift baskets of earbuds and talcum powder."

"Don't be so snobby Matilda. Walgreen's have some good stuff. And I would be grateful for some talcum powder right now."

"Or floppy bunnies."

"Hey, Amelia would love a floppy bunny, you old killjoy. It might remind her who her father is. So when is this baby shower going to be? And where?"

"They are thinking March 15th, but that is very close to your due date. Supposing Amelia decides to come early?"

"Oh, she won't," said Andy airily. "I'm sure she's going to be a very organised little soul and stick to our schedule. Where will the gathering be?"

"Apparently they are thinking of Nigel's place, of all inappropriate settings for an overdose of feminine hormones. He is very keen to host it so he can meet up with us all again."

Andy looked at Miranda straight. "Oh, so Miss 'Doesn't approve of baby showers', we're talking "Us" now, are we? You will deign to grace the tacky event with your queenly presence?"

"Of course. Wild horses wouldn't keep me away. It's my baby too, remember? I'm determined to get my share of any free face-wipes and diapers just as much as you might be."

Andy chuckled and reached across her own huge belly to give Miranda a sweet kiss. "Of course it's your baby, darling. And we're in this together. Why would I ever think otherwise?"

By the time day of the Baby Shower came round, Andy felt the size of a bus, and was convinced she was carrying triplets. She'd outgrown all of Hannah's loaned maternity outfits weeks before, and so had reluctantly allowed Miranda to kit her out in some ridiculously expensive designer mother-to-be one-off pieces.

If she survived the birth of her first baby, she decided these fine clothes would definitely be stored away for when she expected its future little brothers and sisters. They were far too good for just a few weeks' use, and perfect for her colouring.

It was a sunny Sunday in mid-March, and the birds in Central Park were singing as they prepared their nests. They were also singing in the leafy part of Brooklyn where Nigel and Douglas had recently bought a proper two-storey house. Miranda had driven Andy over in the Lexus, as she was now too big to fit into the Porsche, and they stopped in front of the old brown building to see an extravagant display of balloons and ribbons decorating its side gate.

Judging by the number of vehicles already pulled up on the sidewalk outside, the event was destined to end up on the society pages of all of Runway's rivals, and Andy wouldn't put it past Serena to have brought in a photographer to catch shots of the guests for Vanity Fair. She really did not enjoy being the centre of attention, and tried unsuccessfully to hide behind Miranda, but as soon as they crossed the threshold, the place erupted with applause and six people at once came forward to embrace her.

Two of them were their beloved twins, who bounded up to her and fell on her like long-lost children thrown out into the cold, rather than having simply spent a day or two with their father and family. Geoff followed close behind them, giving Andy a big kiss, and Miranda a small one, and then Andy saw what looked like half of Boston with him as well. Cindy was there, looking great, slim, ridiculously young, happy and fit, and Spencer was now a lively little toddler, rising two. Then Della, Cindy's Mom, brought up the rear.

"Can't resist these sorts of parties," she said, crushing Miranda with a hug, and then kissing Andy. Andy looked behind Della to see if Charlie McCarthy, Miranda's cousin and Benjamin's uncle, was also in attendance, but Della read her mind and said, "Charlie's got a band gig up in Boston, but he sends his love."

Cindy stroked Andy's arm. "You poor thing. I remember looking and feeling exactly like you at this stage, but trust me, it will be over soon."

Andy nodded, with a resigned sigh. "I guess so. It's hard to imagine though. I remember that you were so poorly though, with pre-eclampsia. At least I've avoided that so far. But Cindy, thank you for coming all this way. I never expected you to."

"My God, Andrea, there are more people here than at the amazing Christmas party you and Miranda hosted two years' back! I think there are some folk from California, and your people from Ohio are here as well."

"Ohio?" Andy's head spun round to see the most exciting vision in the world. Yes, she wasn't dreaming. Her mom and dad were in the room, along with the best grandmother in the world, Momma, all drinking Nigel's fruit Cider cup and waving at her. She pushed through the crowds and pulled them into her arms for a huge group hug.

"This is crazy. The place is packed. I was expecting six or so girlfriends at most. Why are you all here?"

"We've come to give you moral support, darling," said Jenny her mother, kissing her fondly. "We are staying with Hannah and Harry, for the rest of the week as well, so we can enjoy Johnny. And Momma has met up with Lee and Gloria, your friends from the west coast. They are going to hit the art galleries tomorrow. It's kind of a Spring Break for us all."

"How long has Miranda known you were coming?" asked Andy, rather fiercely.

"Oh, since the beginning. I think she wanted to leave some things as a secret for you after spilling the beans about the party early on."

Andy looked across to Miranda who was entertaining another little circle, mainly of their Runway colleagues and Douglas, her most devoted fan, and caught her eye. Miranda winked at her and gave a little grin, and Andy immediately forgave her.

Momma looked well, and Andy told her so. She'd put on the blue linen wedding outfit Miranda had bought her, which now constituted her "best clothes" and which she'd worn to Lee and Gloria's wedding as well. After the latest spell of bronchitis Andy had been really worried about her grandmother, but here she was, as right as rain again.

Then Nigel swept across to them, bearing a 'mocktail' for Andy, and gave her a cautious hug round her bump. He was now Editor in Chief of Gangway, the men's version of Runway, and loving it. Married life with Douglas obviously suited him as well, though he had put on a pound or two in the last year.

"Darling Six, you look divine! Vast, but divine! Now come and meet all your guests. No-one could stay away. It's the Baby Shower of the season!"

Whether Miranda had approved of the idea or not, they both certainly enjoyed the Sunday afternoon soiree. Emily had organized it as an elegant, rather alcoholic afternoon tea in the English tradition, and caterers circulated with cucumber sandwiches, asparagus rolls, made with the season's fresh asparagus, devilled eggs, and little meringues which melted in the mouth. The world and his wife did seem to be there, so the old idea of a female only gathering had obviously been ditched. But the presents on the dining room table were forming an ever expanding pile.

By four o'clock, Andy felt she had to say something, a big thank you at least for all the lovely baby themed gifts. She noticed one huge blue elephant, which was designed to provide a sleeping cushion and cuddly toy, with a tag from Margot and Connor sending their love and apologies for not being able to join the party.

She tinkled a fork against her glass and the room went quiet. Andy stood up as straight as she could and said, "Dear, dear people. Thank you so much, on behalf of Miranda and myself, for all the trouble you have taken to organize this afternoon and for all your lovely gifts. Not just for themselves, which of course we and Amelia will love, but also as a sign of your care and friendship. I feel completely blessed. It will be another three weeks before I can use them all, but they will be cherished and appreciated. Thanks again."

She stopped speaking, and everyone gave another small round of applause. Miranda came towards her, and beckoned her forwards through the throng of people.

"A gracious word of thanks from a beautiful soul. As always, you know what to say. I don't deserve you." She expected Andrea to move in her direction, so she could bury her hands in those chestnut waves and draw her in for a kiss. But Andy seemed to have suddenly turned to stone. She just stood there staring, as her eyes grew wider and wider.

"Honey, what's the matter? What have I said?" Miranda asked, beginning to feel nervous. Then Andy grabbed her hand and whispered, "Nothing. You have said nothing. But don't look down!"

Naturally, instead, Miranda did the opposite, and bit her lip as she watched a significant puddle of liquid begin to seep out onto Nigel's thick cream wool carpet from between Andy's legs. They exchanged looks, which in some books might be called 'meaningful', and then Miranda hissed "Stay right there. Don't move!" And she went to find Andy's mother, Jenny. Jenny always knew what to do in an emergency, and Miranda thought this little development qualified for that title exactly.

So, yes, Emily's choice of date had been quite correct. It was a good day for a Baby Shower. The only problem was that Amelia had obviously grown tired of waiting and wanted to come to the party as well!