Chapter Ten
"So, the girls and I are going to Ember tonight and you have no excuse not to come. You've been dodging us for at least a week now. And don't say you have work; we took your schedule from Jane. One look at Aubrey and it was in our hands, its crazy how convenient a bitch in a pantsuit can be."
"Stacie, its not that I don't want to see the girls-"
"No, no, no, don't start that bullshit. You're coming. No excuse. We will show up to your apartment if you don't show up. Your choice."
The line clicked and Chloe slowly lowered her phone. This was fine. She was fine. Sure, she may have been avoiding them a little bit, but she was busy! She had a life; she couldn't constantly go out like them. Between work and Tom, she was constantly torn in her schedule. The time she spent with Beca, talking to Beca, getting lunch with Beca, joking with Beca, flirting with Beca- no, not flirting, they were just friends.
Forget what happened.
Chloe takes a sigh and sits on the couch, her back sinking into the worn knitted blanket draped on the couch. She remembered when she got it. Freshman year: her mom helping move into Webber hall, room 824. It was a double; her roommate Hailey had already arrived and filled her half of the dorm with Britney Spears posters. That didn't bother Chloe, even if it was a little odd. I mean, it's Britney, bitch. She was nice enough; they didn't have much of a relationship. Hailey was absent as she and her mother worked at turning a depressing dorm room into a temporary home. As Chloe folded clothes into her dresser, her mother had tapped her shoulder. In her hands was a lavender, blue, and white throw. The strands were woven together and as soft as a cloud. Bright blue eyes, glassy with tears, met the same shade of blue, except this shade was wise, full of experience. Her mother, greying hair, wrinkles stemming from her eyes made from years of laughter. There was rarely a moment where Chloe didn't see her mother smile. She smiled then, albeit sadly, but it was a smile, nonetheless. Her lower lip trembled as she clutched the blanket with as much intensity as she did with tenderness. One shaky breath, two, and a third until her solemn face gave way to a watery grin.
"Mom…" Her voice shook as well as her head.
"I know, sweetheart. I know. But now isn't for crying, I need to make sure this place isn't like a prison. Although hopefully you won't be spending too much time here…"
"Mom!"
"I meant the library don't think so dirty!"
Chloe laughed, rubbing the remnants of sadness from her eyes. Her mother hid the sadness well.
"I'm gonna miss you, mama." Her head dipped down, and she tried desperately to bury the sob thrumming in her chest. She felt two delicate fingers bring her head back up.
"This isn't goodbye, baby. I'll see you soon."
Chloe heard that voice in her head echoing around; it became too loud, so she stood from the couch and entered her room. Her messages contained the details of the night from Aubrey. Meet up at Ember by 8pm. Wear as few clothes as possible. That part was definitely Stacie. Okay, that's not so bad. She could do this. Opening her closet, she reached into the back-left corner and brought them closer to the front. She had a plethora of scandalous clothing from college, but the numbers dwindled as time went on. That's fine, she thought. I made out with a famous DJ in my scrubs, I think I'm fine. Fuck. Forget about it.
The time passed slowly, mostly spent eyeing the clock until she couldn't stall getting ready any longer. With years of experience, she quickly applied a darker shade than her normal eyeshadow and wore something much more provocative than the pajamas she wanted to don. It's not that she didn't want to see the girls, in fact she knew it would do her some good. But right now, all she wanted to do, was lay in bed and forget the days keep passing. She felt so old, so run down; the constant worry and stress, it was exhausting. She reluctantly checked the time and saw she needed to order the Uber. She had only few precious minutes for herself until her heels were placed on her feet and her smile tattooed to her face. The ride was quick and quiet and for that, she gave a decent tip.
"Thank god, I really didn't want to sick Amy on you." Stacie drawled outside the entrance to the bar. Instead of her usual cocktail dress, she wore a fitted pantsuit with the blazer buttoned at the front, hiding the lack of a shirt. A lovely lace bralette complemented the smooth, tan skin exposed.
"Hey Stace, it's great to see- "
"Cut the shit, Beale. You've been dodging us for almost two weeks. I'll save you the shake down for now but trust me when I say Aubrey is going to give you the worst interrogation of your life." With that, she turned around and entered the bar, leaving Chloe to trail behind. The girls were gathered at the bar and currently ordering drinks, but their attention immediately turned to Stacie with a guilty looking redhead. Aubrey's glare only intensified this feeling.
"I'm sorry, guys; I've just had a lot going on, with Tom being Tom, I don't know. How can I make it up to you guys?"
"Well, for starters, you can owe us a drink," Amy rubs her fingers together expecting to be compensated and exaggerates a wink. Chloe glanced at her but paid her no mind.
"How about we start drinking so we can forget about you being a shitty friend for a bit." Aubrey finishes it with an overly cheery smile coupled it with stern eyes. One look and Chloe knew she was in for it. Which is absolutely ridiculous to Chloe; she's an adult. The rest of the girls took Aubrey's word to heart and ordered a round of shots with strict instructions to have the second round ready to fill their glasses. Chloe smiled as the girls around her bustled to a good position, yet she never felt Aubrey's gaze leave her head.
"One, two, Three!" She tilted the glass and allowed whatever alcohol inside past her lips. The grimace burned in her chest, but she smiles at her friends around her. Her gaze locks with Stacie's; one of her eyebrows is raised. Chloe was beginning to get uncomfortable between the deadlock gaze of two very intimidating women. She took the second shot and began to prepare for the impending conversation. She set the glass down and gestured toward a booth. The two women began their prowl.
"Spill," was the only thing that left Aubrey's lips. Chloe took a deep sigh.
"I don't know what you want me to say," she began quietly and took a sip from her vodka soda. "I wasn't lying about Tom. He called me the other night…he was asking for money. On mom's birthday. On her fucking birthday."
"Why didn't you tell us? We know you. You wouldn't want to be alone."
"I mean I wasn't alone but-" Shit.
"So, Tom called on your mother's birthday, asking for more money, and you weren't alone," Stacie repeats.
"…yes."
Aubrey merely stared and sipped her drink. She raised her eyebrow as an indication to continue.
Chloe took a bigger gulp of her drink before evading the questions. "I was with Beca." They stared. "After I got off my shift, I went to her apartment. We just watched Netflix; I promise." She did her best to keep her tone light and unassuming. Aubrey sniffed before Stacie decided to respond.
"You're omitting the chill part. Doesn't she have a girlfriend?"
"We didn't! God no! And they're complicated, I mean you saw her that one night, but we don't know what happens behind closed doors."
"I see," Stacie replied.
Aubrey, on the other hand, hadn't even started her round. And so, the bell rang. "Give me your phone."
"What? Absolutely not!" Chloe's heart was beginning to race. When would the alcohol kink in? She looked to Stacie to back her up, but she was picking her nails like she was bored. Bitch.
"If you have nothing to hide, you will. And if you lie to me Chloe Elizabeth Beale, I will find out.
The rapid beat of her heart made its way into her ears. Forget what happened. She can't lie to Aubrey, but what happened didn't. She had to give those words truth for her own sanity. But it did happen. She can lie all she wants, but it happened. How could she even begin? She knew Aubrey and Stacie better than anyone; they'll think Beca is toying with her and its all a game, but Chloe knows better. They haven't spent time with her to know she is a genuine person: that she's kind, respectful, witty. Beca may be famous, but she didn't let the industry change her; Chloe couldn't defend the DJ's image- not until she came clean.
"The night we had VIP's, when I stayed over, I put my number in her phone. We have been texting on and off and," she surrendered with a sigh. "and its been nice. She doesn't know me, or Tom, or anything... She doesn't ask questions, we can sit in silence comfortably, I can forget about what it's like being Chloe Beale." There. Cat's out of the bag. Forget what happened. She smiled sadly into her drink and finished it.
"Has it occurred to you, at all," Aubrey began, "that she doesn't ask questions because she's taking advantage of you? Chloe, I love you dearly, but come on. Let's be realistic here." Chloe fixed her gaze on the blonde; if there's anything Aubrey can do, she can cut Chloe down. And she does it well.
"What Aubrey means to say," Stacie joined Aubrey in the ring, "is that this doesn't happen every day. The last thing we want is to watch you get hurt by a dick with fancy figurines." Chloe nodded. She had gotten used to filtering Aubrey's jabs into what she really means. Aubrey loves her, Chloe would bet her life on it, but her constant need to know every detail of her life was beginning to irritate her. Her overprotectiveness stemmed from watching Chloe's family disappear in her life; she would be the one that looked after her.
"I know this is some weird, bizarre fluke, but I don't want to think of the consequences. Not now, not when I could use a break from the shitshow. I hope you guys can respect that."
The two girls looked at each other hesitantly but ultimately decided to drop it. The redhead had survived with only scrapes to show. They all agreed to head back to the bar and join the rest of the group for drinks. Amy had left (which Chloe guiltily admitted she was grateful for), but the rest remained. They were reasonably intoxicated by the time Aubrey, Chloe, and Stacie got their drinks. She took her phone and glanced at the time noticing that she had a message from the devil themselves.
Beca: I'm bored.
Her lip quirked and decided to respond.
Chloe: sounds like a personal problem
Chloe: I'm out with the girls
Beca's response came immediately.
Beca: is Amy there? I think she stole one of my Grammys'
Chloe: how about u just earn another one, rock star?
Beca: how about u just cure cancer, nurse ratched
Beca: but seriously, I'm bored. Come over?
Chloe was pulled out of her phone by Stacie clearing her throat. The redhead was caught red-handed. The flush of alcohol and bashfulness dusted her skin; thankfully, Stacie winked at her.
"Go on, I know you want to. I'll cover Aubrey."
"You're an angel, Stace," Chloe cried giving her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. With that, she walked out of the bar and ordered an Uber.
Beca regret sending that text. She sounded needy. She hated needy. So, she sat on the balcony with her journal in hand, watching the night light up with the mosaic of a polluted skyline. The day had been rough. Her mind had not stopped repeating the mantra since the moment she woke up: forget what happened. It kept going while arriving at work. Forget what happened. It continued coming home. Forget what happened. It didn't let up until she poured a drink and began to write. Her mind was raging, but it soon fell away into the pages.
This is a testament of pain and sadness, a collection of pretty fragments, a tribute. You won't see it like that, though. I don't think anyone will. The words aren't what you want to read, want to hear. A letter unaddressed, a letter unopened. That's all it will ever be…so I guess that spares you the heartache. When did the line between living and dying become so hazy?
Her pen paused when she heard a quiet knock from inside. Chloe, she thought. And so, the mantra returned.
"Hey!" She replied cheerfully and stepped into the apartment.
It took everything in Beca to keep her mouth from dropping. She knew Chloe had been out before coming, but it didn't occur to Beca that she would be dressed like she had gone out. The brunette's eyes were glued to the white dress that was barely at her knees. It was lowcut and she refused to stare at her tits like a twelve-year-old pervert no matter how much she wanted to. Forget what happened. "Hey," she cleared her throat. "How was your night out?"
Chloe laughed and stared at the DJ. "That hardly counts as a night out; I was barely out for 2 hours. What have you been doing to occupy yourself?"
"Dude, why do you think I texted you? I'm bored." Beca had yet to fully look at Chloe and she averted her eyes every time she had the opportunity. Forget what happened. The tall, black heels that she wore caught the brunette's eye and tricked her into following toned calves all the way up to blue eyes. Forget what happened.
"I feel overdressed now," Chloe awkwardly laughed and pushed a stray strand of auburn behind her ear shyly.
Her lips betrayed her. "I think you're beautiful." Chloe turned her head with her eyes full of shock. "I mean, I'm sure all of you looked good. At the club. Bar. Whatever. Where did you end up going, by the way?" Good save, Mitchell. You're doing fantastic.
"Some bar called 'Ember'. Have you heard of it?"
"Yeah, the one off of Temple Street?" Chloe nodded her head, sitting down to take her shoes off. Tan, sculpted legs crossed at the knee and the already short dress had risen even further up her thigh. "You know, its funny," she said. Chloe hummed in response and smoothly shifted which leg was on top. "There was a bar called 'Ember' in Orlando. I knew a lot of people who went there. Was a decent place."
"That's interesting," Chloe smiled at her with her eyes twinkling and all Beca could do was offer a weak one in return. "Well, I'm here now. What did you want to do?"
Shit. Beca didn't think this through. Was she supposed to have planned something? "Uhh, did you want to do anything specific?"
"Nope!" Why was she making this so difficult?
"I'm down to watch a movie," she finally supplied. "If you want."
Chloe easily agreed and they made their way to the couch. You could fit the duration of the film in the time spent trying to pick something. At this point, Beca would rather watch My Little Pony than to spend one more minute deciding what they wanted to watch.
"For fuck's sake, pick something I don't even care anymore," Beca exclaimed and shoved the remote into Chloe's hands. Chloe raised an eyebrow while she huffed in return. The redhead silently took the remote and scrolled until she found The Little Mermaid.
"Wow, the similarity is uncanny," a sarcastic drawl filled the room as the overture played from the speakers. And this is how the movie went; Chloe watched the movie attentively until Beca made a remark that broke her concentration. These interjections stopped completely when Chloe began to sing. To say the heavens opened was a gross understatement. She had been submerged in water until she heard Chloe's siren song; she could hear the music clearer than ever as it emerged from her lungs. The DJ kept quiet, trying her best to remain unphased. Every syllable was melting into the air to bathe the room in ethereal peace. Beca was so captivated, so entranced by each melody twisting and braiding into a noose that she didn't realize the song had ended. Chloe was looking at her with a confused, but relaxed smile. "You sing." It wasn't a question. They both knew the answer.
"I do." And they fell back into the rhythm of quips and barely contained laughter.
Beca was observant, though, more than you think. And the distance put between them was bigger than previous. It shouldn't bother Beca. She was the one who said to forget, after all. Her twitching fingers, however, told a different story. The dress was still high up on her thighs, her hair was still cascading past her shoulders, her makeup was still perfectly dramatic, and that's when Beca knew. There was no forgetting. You don't forget someone like Chloe Beale.
The movie ended and they had both disarmed some of the walls from their initial greeting. Beca was in the kitchen fixing a drink while Chloe had stretched across the couch to scroll on her phone. Dark blue eyes once again raked over her unassuming figure. Forget what happened.
"Hey Becs?" She says, her head poking up from behind the cushion.
"Yeah?" She calls back while rummaging through the fridge; quiet clicks of glass accompanied a distracted tapping on the handle of the appliance.
"It was my mother's birthday the other night."
The tapping suddenly stopped and Beca stepped away from the doors. She understood. Chloe had spent that night with her. It was her mother's birthday when she received the call that proved she held depth behind her bright smile. She had spent it with her. And Beca felt that gravity, the tug of blind trust Chloe had displayed.
"Today marks 4 years I lost my best friend."
Chloe looked at her without judgement or pity. She exuded a calm that Beca was deprived of all day.
Chloe was smart, though, more than you would think. The pieces fell together, the timeline manifested before her eyes. Each breadcrumb the brunette unconsciously dropped began to take shape into a horror she wished she could forget.
The date was June 12th.
She has been on medication since 2016.
She is from Orlando.
"Oh, god," she whispered.
Without a word, she clutched Beca in strong, but troubled, arms. The brunette didn't say anything.
She just held on twice as strong.
AN: I've been naming some of the chapters after songs that I have inspiration from. This chapter was influenced by the song Ally from We the Kings. As always, any feedback is greatly appreciated and I hope you are all staying safe and healthy. -vanguard