DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I got some inspiration from the story ARVUM, but have expanded on it. I desperately tried to get permission to continue that story, etc., but received no response, sadly.

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

"So who'd you have to marry," lazily drawled out Shikamaru Nara, as if he didn't have a single care in the whole world.

"You - you knew? You prick! You utter and complete…" Naruto's mouth was covered by Shikamaru's hand, so of course, she bit him.

"Troublesome blonde! What the hell?!"

"Oh give me a break, I could've bitten you a lot harder! Keep your lazy hands out of my mouth." Seeing his smirk, she added, "I ought to pop you! And it was - oh Kami, Shika-kun. I'm married!" He had a look on his face that was so lazy and at the same time knowing that she really did nearly punch him. "To… to Kakashi Hatake," she finally mumbled. The Nara broke down in a fit of laughter. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Oh, Naru-chan! But isn't that your dream come true?" the clan heir asked, batting his eyelids stupidly.

"What the heck are you on about?" Naruto demanded, trying not to blush. Thank Kami there were lots of shadows in the forest to hide her embarrassment.

"Give me a break! You've obviously had a crush on him ever since I can remember. Well, I guess I remember back when we all thought you were a boy, and we thought you were into Sasuke. But even back then you basically had stars in your eyes whenever you talked about your Kakashi-sensei." Naruto groaned. She couldn't have been that obvious, could she?

"Do you think he knew?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Who knows," he said carelessly before looking at her face. He sighed: she looked shattered. "Look, who knows what that guy was thinking, Naruto. I mean he always had his head stuck in that book…" He stopped in his thought process, suddenly giving her an alarmed look. "Naruto, please, please tell me that he didn't have his book out when you two got married? And that your marriage wasn't sworn on the back of Icha Icha or something? I mean, I'd have to kill him for that..."

That actually made her laugh a bit. "No, no, Shika. I didn't see the book at all, now that I think about it. He just looked a bit - horrified, if I'm honest about it." With a sad smile on her face she added, "But I guess I probably looked a little like that, too. I'm such an idiot. I didn't expect it at all when I went there today. Why didn't you warn me?"

"Wasn't allowed." At the look of disbelief she gave him, he elaborated. "Obviously I would've told you anyway, but Ma kept me busy all day, and I hadn't heard anything at all about it. It's just when I saw the kimono and that spiral, I knew. You didn't see the fuuinjutsu?"

"Not at all - I was looking at how pretty it was." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Women. "When your dad put chakra into it and it turned… well you know - into a wedding kimono, I think I almost passed out. I know I saw spots in front of my eyes."

"Troublesome. What's done is done. It's not so bad. For you to have favored him for so long there's got to be good qualities about the man, ne?" She nodded her head at him sadly.

There were all kinds of things she liked about Kakashi-sensei. No, just "Kakashi-san" now or something like that. Would he want her to call him "Kakashi-sama?" Surely not, although that's a little bit sexy, now that I think of it.

"You're making that face again. Once again, I have to advise you to limit your time around Jiraiya-sama in the future. You're enough of a pervert already," the Nara mused.

"I'm not… No. You're wrong! I'm not being a pervert!" Seeing his smirk again, she scowled. "Still though Shika-kun," she smiled foxily, "now you can give me all the advice you've been hiding about sex!"

His mouth fell open. How dare she use his verbal attack against him. "Damnit, Naruto! I've told you I-don't-know-how-many-times that I won't kiss and tell! Plus that's years in the future for me - or in the past: Stupid time travel or whatever. Such a drag. I need a smoke," he finally grumbled.

"But you did tell me some, just not any of the good parts between you and Temari-chan!" She noted his glare but pushed forward. "And I need to know now! I'm a married woman!" Naruto added, using her puppy-eyes on him. He was not phased at all.

"I did not tell you anything of the sort, Naru-chan," Shikamaru said firmly, to which she snorted. "And they're not going to expect you to just put out like that. I mean, the Hokage blessed the union, right?"

"Yeah. So?" Shikamaru shook his head at her: she could sometimes still be an idiot. "Actually JiJi performed the ceremony and the Daimyo had his signature on it. AND YOU DID ADMIT IT," she stormed, "that night, before we got caught at the karaoke bar."

Oh shit. He forgot about that night: there was no telling what he had said. Temari was going to kill him if she ever found out! It might be worth it to just take out Naruto right here. She was more troublesome than Temari, plus Temari was plain scary as hell when she was pissed. Oh, and she'd definitely be pissed that he'd let Naruto of all people know. Troublesome. "Maa, that's pretty fancy stuff, Naruto: the Daimyo and the Hokage, both - plus my Dad was there right?" Please let this get her off the topic!

"Yeah. I'm really grateful he was there, too. I'm not sure if Kakashi was though, considering he had two of his superiors pretty much forcing him into doing this."

"Naruto, I'm sure that he wasn't forced into this any more than you were. Granted, you didn't have a lot of choices, however, I'm sure that if he was totally against it, he could've turned the proposal down. You know the Hokage well enough to know that." Shikamaru offered her a reassuring smile.

"Maybe," she said, doubtful. "Hey wait a minute! You're just being nice so that you don't have to tell me about the sex! You're not getting off that easily!"

Shikamaru took off in a run, darting through the Nara forest. Why didn't he bring weapons out here today? They would've slowed the troublesome blonde down a bit, at least.

Kakashi Hatake was in his apartment, sitting on his floor in front of the couch - that floor littered with sake bottles. The alcohol still wasn't helping. Biting his thumb, he summoned the friend he'd had since he was a very small boy.

"Yo Kakashi!" greeted the pug. "What the hell, boss? You look like shit! And you're all dressed up! Who are you and what did you do with Kakashi," he joked.

"Pakkun," was all Kakashi could get out. The man looked sadder than the dog! The pug tilted his head towards his summoner. What's got Kakashi so out of sorts?

"Pakkun, I got… married," said the Hatake miserably, head hanging low and with such sadness in his voice that it alarmed his furry friend.

"Oh, boss. You really did it this time, didn't you? Knocked one of those one-night-stand girls up? What did I tell you? You should've found an alpha bitch to…" Kakashi pinched his fingers over the pug's snout, shaking his head slowly.

"No, nothing like that. I almost wish it was, though."

Pakkun cocked his head. That's weird. Kakashi normally doesn't even like to see those girls the next day or anytime afterward. Dumb ass. "So then, boss, who's the lucky girl?"

Kakashi stared at the pug for a long time, then downed another bottle of sake, scaring the summons a bit. "It's… oh Kami, Pakkun." The man placed his hands over his eye and finally stated the truth: "It's Minato-sensei's daughter!"

Well, now it makes sense. "I see," said the pug, not really seeing the problem - if only his depressed summoner would pull his head out of his human ass. After all, maybe there will be pups soon! Wait 'til I tell the pack! "So… what's she like? And when did you get married? Was there cake? Did you save some for me and the boys?" The ninken licked his lips.

Why did I call him again? Oh right, he was stuck on the floor. "No cake, Pakkun. A couple hours ago, and we just met." Pakkun gave him a gesture to go on with his thoughts, which looked weird for a dog to do, but Kakashi understood it. "I don't really know her at all - which is my fault…" He shook his head sadly. "And, I don't know. This was sprung upon us, and she seemed pretty thunderstruck by the whole thing. She knew who I was, but the Sandaime had to introduce me as her father's remaining student."

"Ouch," replied Pakkun.

"That's putting it mildly. I can only imagine how disappointed Minato-sensei is with me."

"Don't go there, Kakashi," warned the pug. "You'll never come out in a good place. Plus, maybe this way you can give your sensei some grand-pups!" Kakashi reared back, looking horrified. "What? Puppies are good! They're fun! Making puppies is fun!" Kakashi covered his ears with his hands now, so the dog climbed into his lap eagerly. "C'mon boss! Wait, oh… She's ugly huh? That's surprising. Her parents were good looking people."

Why do I talk to dogs again? Shaking his head - he really had drank too much, although he still planned to drink until he passed out tonight - he felt the distinct need to defend his wife's honor. "She's not ugly, Pakkun, not at all. She's actually quite… beautiful. Stunning really," Kakashi added, falling over a bit and knocking over his last bottle of sake.

"Is that right? Well, then I'm sure everything will be just fine, boss." After all, when he said that, his summoner had a little smile on his face. Kakashi could still be a cute pup sometimes. The pug curled up in the asleep Jonin's lap, deciding it would be better to keep an eye on him tonight.

Kakashi dreamed of an unknown woman with golden hair that was spun like silk, the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen, who was wearing a blue matching… something. She was giving him a radiant smile when she turned around to look at him. He gazed upon her very feminine body like the pervert he was, and she just laughed. Then he slept on until morning.