Daria: Winter Is Coming In the Midst of Life
DISCLAIMER: I do not own either Daria or A Song of Ice and Fire. This story is written for amusement, not for profit.
Rated "T" for foul language
Daria: Winter Is Coming*Daria: Winter Is Coming*Daria: Winter Is Coming
It was late afternoon, the day after Uncle Ben had come back from the Cedars of Lawndale. Jane and Daria had walked home together. Track practice had been cancelled, and Daria snapped up the opportunity to walk home with her best friend. She and Jane were still close, but what with Jane still on the track team, they couldn't spend as much time together as they used to.
The girls talked about what was going on in their lives: Daria talking about life with a new kid sister and Uncle Ben's failing health, Jane about the track team and a new guy she was interested in. Their eyes widened when they reached Glen Oaks: several more parked cars. As Daria and Jane drew closer, Daria could see that they all had Lawndale High parking stickers as well as bumper stickers supporting the football team.
"That's different," said Jane, looking over the parked cars. "Did Quinn finally join the pep squad or have the players decided to brief her on different football plays now that the season is over?"
Daria thought about making a quip about the Three Js making passes but decided against it when she saw her Mom's car in the driveway. "I don't know, but it might be interesting to find out," she said.
She tested the handle and opened the front door. The girls walked in and saw an unusual sight: the Three J's were moving dining room furniture around under Helen's direction while Quinn, Rikka, and Ben were looking on.
"OK, boys, put the dining room table against that wall," said Helen.
"Sure thing, Mrs. Morgendorffer," said Joey. He and Jeffrey and Jamie picked up the family dining table and set it against the wall.
"I want to help!" said Rikka.
"Rikka, you can help Jaime here set the furniture padding on top of the dining room table," said Helen.
"OK," said Rikka.
"What about us?" said Joey.
"You two can take a break," said Helen. "After they're done, you can stack chairs on top of the padding."
"Hi, Mom," said Daria, "what's going on?"
"Ben is going to be sleeping on the ground floor for a while until his strength builds back up," said Helen. "The rental furniture is coming tomorrow."
All too aware of her uncle's fainting spell at Temple, Daria saw the reasonableness of her mother's decision. She hoped that her uncle would be able to climb stairs again but suspected that moving him downstairs from the upstairs guest room was only a temporary measure before Uncle Ben had to go to hospice.
"Did Quinn get the boys to help?" Daria asked.
"She did," said Helen, smiling with pride for her younger daughter.
I think I might owe Sis an apology, thought Daria. This was not what she would have expected of her.
"Anything else going on?" said Daria, less to make conversation than to avoid appearing to be an idiot.
"Other than sleeping and watching some TV, I signed that deposition that your Mom got written up," said Ben. "If I kick off soon, I want to make sure that Family Court knows that I want Rikka to stay with you guys and not with my ex."
Daria said nothing. Discussing the deposition made Daria uncomfortable; it reminded her again that her uncle was a dying man.
Helen and the Three J's finished shortly afterwards. Helen asked them to stay for some soda and some chips before they went on their way. Jaime asked Uncle Ben about football in Coalton; Ben told him that the coach decided that he didn't like him and kicked him off the team the third week of practice.
Jane took a cola, ate some chips, then signaled for Daria to follow her when she headed for the front door. Daria followed her outside. "Princess Grace surprised me," said Jane. "I would expect her to lead the boys around, but I didn't expect her to put them to work."
"I didn't either," said Daria. "Either Quinn has hidden depths or she did it to throw us off-kilter."
"Whatever the case, enjoy it while you can, Daria," Jane replied. "I wish my older siblings would do stuff like that."
Daria frowned. She could imagine Trent pitching in, at least after some poking and prodding, but not Jane's other brother and sisters.
The Morgendorffers had take-out that evening. One of Jake's clients had introduced him to a restaurant that had take-out and after accessing their menu on-line, Jake ordered something to go. The food was good. Daria not only rated it well above frozen lasagna, but also above a couple of the carry-out places they'd tried last year.
Everyone was feeling relaxed enough that Jake and Ben talked about some of Ben's adventures with his first wife, then about some of the adventures he and Rikka had had in Las Vegas.
"Outside of the Strip, the place is boring," said Rikka. "Dad did take me to the Grand Canyon, though. That was cool."
The Grand Canyon. That was one of the places she wanted to visit. OK, I'm jealous, thought Daria, then glared at Rikka.
At that moment, the phone rang.
"I'll get it!" said Quinn, springing up from the table. Daria watched as Quinn picked up the phone, put on a frown, then said "It's for you, Mom. It's Aunt Rita."
Helen rose from the table, took the portable phone from Quinn, then said, "Hello, Rita!"
Jake leaned over to talk to his brother and not be overheard by his wife. "That's Helen's older sister. Things can get exciting while they're on the phone."
"How exciting?" said Ben.
"It varies," said Jake. "It can go from very tense to a blow-up."
"How loud?" said Rikka. "I can remember Mom arguing with Ted back at the Inn."
"Wait and see, Grasshopper," said Daria.
"That's wonderful, Rita!" Helen's voice carried from the kitchen. "I am so happy for you! You and Erin both!"
"I can't believe it! Little Erin is getting married!" Helen exclaimed.
"She's not rushing into this is she?" said Helen. "I mean twenty-one…No, I'm not saying that, I'm not implying that."
Jake and Daria exchanged looks.
"See what I mean?" Jake said to Ben.
"And I suppose you've got roles for my girls?" said Helen.
"Good, good," said Helen, "I don't want them feeling left out."
"And do you have a ring-bearer?" said Helen.
"You don't?" said Helen. "Well, as it so happens, I have someone we can use. My brother-in-law and his adopted daughter are staying with us and we've grown so fond of her that we consider her to be family."
"No, she's foreign," said Helen.
"No, she's not from the Balkans," said Helen. "And definitely not Guatemalan."
"Rita, Jake and I are willing to come to your wedding, but not without all three of our girls," said Helen.
"All right, I'll wait so you can discuss it with Mother, but I insist on all three of my girls participating or none of us will," said Helen.
"It's good to talk to you, too," said Helen.
"If this goes on much longer, I'd suggest taking positions under the table and brace for impact," Jake said to Ben.
"My best to you, Erin, and her fiancé," said Helen.
Daria heard her mother click off the phone.
And the bomb drill is over, thought Daria.
"Aunt Helen, what was that about?" said Rikka.
"Well, Sweetie, your Aunt Rita's daughter Erin is getting married," said Helen.
"So who is Aunt Rita?" asked Rikka.
"Rita is my older sister," said Helen. "My mother and father had three daughters: Rita, me, and your aunt Amy. Rita is my older sister and Amy is my youngest sister."
"Oh," said Rikka.
"Rita wants me and Jake to come and for Daria and Quinn to come and take part in the ceremony," Helen continued. "I just told your Aunt Rita that I want all three of you girls to take part in the ceremony. Rita said she's going to call me back after she talks with my mother."
"Why your mother?" asked Rikka.
"Because she'll be the one paying for the wedding ceremony," said Jake.
"Thank you, Jakey," Helen said archly.
"Aunt Helen, I'm curious about American weddings," said Rikka. "Do you guys have-?""
"Rikka, don't," said Ben.
"Don't what?" said Jake.
"You don't want to know," Ben replied. "Don't say anything, Rikka." Daria looked at Rikka and wondered what Uncle Ben had just hushed up.
That evening Uncle Ben followed the girls upstairs. The rental bed and side tables wouldn't arrive until the following day.
Daria wondered what sort of question Rikka was going to ask. She asked Rikka, but the only response she got was the younger girl telling her "You'll see." Daria wondered what she meant; She'd already learned that Rikka had a devilish streak in her.
-(((O-O)))—
The next morning, everyone was at the breakfast table. Well, almost everyone: Ben had decided to sleep in upstairs. Helen would be driving straight to work. Despite the fact that it was early April, Jake had agreed to drop Rikka by primary school and Quinn and Daria at Lawndale High.
Daria finished taking the last bites of a pop-tart just before the bomb went off.
"Aunt Helen?" said Rikka.
"What, Sweetie?" said Helen.
"I've got a question about American weddings," said Rikka.
"What sort of question," said Helen. "Maybe I can answer it."
"Do you guys have a Bedding Ceremony?" said Rikka.
She wouldn't dare, thought Daria. She looked at Myrcia Waters Baratheon Morgendorffer, then realized that oh yes she would. Not only that, she just did. Thank God she didn't have anything in her mouth when Rikka dropped the bombshell.
"A Bedding Ceremony?" said Helen.
"Yeah," said Rikka. "That happens after the Septon says they're married."
Daria thanked God she wasn't holding anything.
"What is a bedding ceremony?" said Helen.
"That's when the guests make the husband and wife take off all their clothes before they fuck," said Rikka.
The effect was like a train-wreck, Daria wrote later. Her Dad sprayed coffee across the breakfast table. Quinn dropped a glass of orange juice. Her Mom's coffee spilled out of her half-filled cup and onto the table, causing her to push back her chair and step away from the table.
"Myrcia Morgendorffer, LANGUAGE," said Helen, a tone of steel infusing her voice.
"Well, that's what they do, Aunt Helen," said Rikka.
"You're making that up," Helen said accusingly.
"No, she's not," said Daria. "I'd read about it a couple of years ago. It's commonplace across their continent."
"And you said nothing?" said Helen. "Didn't you know what would happen?"
"Know what?" said Daria. "Rikka's ten. I thought she'd be too young to know about it before she came over. I'm not the one to tell her about wedding customs in her old country."
"You probably put her up to it," Helen said angrily.
"Unh-unh," said Daria. Both she and Rikka shook their heads.
"Bedding Ceremony?" said Jake. "That sounds like what happened just after we got married in Iowa."
"JAKE!" said Helen. "NOT NOW!"
"So what happened at the commune?" said Rikka.
"I'll tell you when you're older!" Helen said testily.
"Sounds interesting," said Quinn.
"I'll tell you when you're older!" said Helen.
"That'll probably be when we're old enough to apply for Social Security," Daria said to Quinn.
"That's enough about Bedding Ceremonies!" said Helen. "Both of you are grounded! In the meantime, I want both of you to get to work cleaning up!"
Ben came into the breakfast room just after Rikka and Daria finished wiping the table and changing the placemats. "So what was that yelling about?" he said.
"Westerosi birds and bees," Daria replied.
Author's notes:
I altered the order of canon Daria episodes to have Cousin Erin's wedding announcement occur in early April of Daria's Junior year at Lawndale High School.
The Bedding Ceremony is part of A Song of Ice and Fire canon.
"You might not want to come any closer," said Daria. "Mom's talking to Aunt Rita on the phone and things are about to turn ugly."
DIFFERENCE: Now that Rikka is part of the family, Grandma Barksdale decides that she wants to meet her.