Chapter 9: Choices

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The man inside the Armored Titan is not even a man. It's a boy, no older than sixteen, and the sight of his young face makes Sakura hesitate before she slices into his limbs and cuts him out. Sixteen isn't that young, she has to tell herself. She's killed countless of people by the time she was sixteen.

He's unconscious as she pulls him up. His body is deceptively lithe compared to his Titan form; she hoists him with ease and jumps down to the cobblestone ground.

Eren joins her not long after, the veins bulging red under his eyes. "Sorry about the acid," she tells him apologetically.

He shakes his head. "It's okay. What's important is that we got him."

"Let's bring him back to Hange."

They only make it a few blocks when the air cracks with fire once again. It's in the direction of the docks—fear strikes Sakura and she begins to run with the unconscious boy over her shoulder, chakra in her feet. Eren can only keep up with her because of his 3DMG.

The fear of her comrades being wiped out by another shifter is quickly replaced by a different fear altogether when she sees the Titan coming at them from down the street. It's small and nimble and runs on all fours with a mouth so big it accommodates an abnormal amount of teeth. She stops in her tracks to think quickly. The shifter is likely coming for the boy Sakura currently has slung over her shoulder.

"Eren, take him and bring him back to Hange." She shoves the boy into Eren's arms before he can protest.

"But—"

"I'll be fine. Trust me." She nods, determined. "I've got Katsuyu and a whole bunch of other tricks that you haven't even seen yet. Get this guy back to Hange—if I need backup, I'll let you know through Katsuyu."

Eren only looks at her with uncertainty for a moment longer before shifting the boy until he's on his back. It helps, Sakura thinks, that they don't share a close bond with each other—it's no skin off his back if she dies. He escapes through a back alley and leaves her easily, much easier than Mikasa leaving him earlier. Much easier than Sakura and Levi leaving each other earlier.

Her heart jumps at the thought of Levi. Is it okay? Is he alive?

He must be. He has to be.

Sakura doesn't have time to think about him, because this new Titan is almost upon her. It's much faster than the Armored Titan, but it's also smaller—Sakura could almost convince herself that this is a shinobi with a bloodline limit. Thinking about it that way makes her push a foot back and bend her knees in preparation.

At the end of the day, every Titan is still a human. And when the humans of this world meet Sakura for the first time, they all, without a doubt, underestimate her.

—

They don't stand a chance once he reaches them.

There are four Marley soldiers aboard the airship, and it only takes a little more than four seconds to kill them. Hange is not playing around, so neither is Levi—if the point of their attack is to tell Marley that they will not be pushed around, then he will gladly deliver that message.

After the last soldier falls, he looks around. It's bigger in here than he had originally thought. There are long couches and plush armchairs, and even an ornate coffee table with empty teacups on it. Levi's scowl deepens; he hates to think that these fuckers were just enjoying a little break on their way over to Armin before loading up the cannons.

He moves quickly, peeking into every room he comes across. Most are sleeping quarters, although he also finds a kitchen and a washroom. Finally, he finds what he assumes is the main navigation area. At least, that's what he thinks it is, because it's at the front of the ship and the windows are big enough for him to have a clear view of everything in front of him. There is a large panel of buttons and levers; he has no idea what any of them do. Some of the lights are on, and some of them are blinking.

Amidst the constant whirr of the airship, Levi stops and thinks.

If every ship maintains the distance they're at now, there is no way the others will be able to reach them and take them down. Armin's steam will lower the ships' visibility and hopefully push them further away, and Levi has until Armin runs out to do something about them. If he's not fast enough, they'll eventually fire their cannons, and his comrades will either avoid the blasts or die—either way, Armin will be a lost cause. Levi won't be able to take all of them out in time once the cannons are loaded.

Levi considers the panel in front of him. There is something that is similar to handles, reminding him of the reins of a horse. Beside it is a large lever that can be shifted vertically.

He doesn't know the details of driving an airship, but he can guess what these main controls do.

Steam bursts from Armin and the ship rumbles. The room darkens from the steam obscuring the morning sun, and Levi grabs hold of the cushioned seat to keep from falling over.

Before he gets blown away, he sits down in front of the reins and gives the lever on the floor an experimental push with his foot. The entire ship gives a slow lurch forward.

He thought he would feel emboldened, but instead he feels a sense of urgency. Defeat is not an option. Death is not an option. He needs to win and he needs to survive—he needs to return to Sakura.

Levi pushes his foot flat to the floor, flies his ship through the steam and crashes it into the one in front of him.

—

Sakura narrowly misses having her head bitten off when she hears an explosion.

In the distance, near Armin who is now emitting steam, she sees airships falling out of the sky, leaving a trail of smoke behind them. Her heart twists.

This smaller Titan is faster than the Armored Titan; Katsuyu can't get a clean hit on it with her acid. The closest she got was the first time, but even then, the acid didn't hit all four limbs and it was able to get away. The Titan and Sakura have been circling each other for several long minutes, trying to gauge each other's abilities, neither yet making the first catastrophic move—and now airships are crashing and she is distracted.

The Titan's jaw is unnervingly big. It has so many teeth. While its arms and legs are short and pose no real threat to her, its mouth is the real weapon.

Its left shoulder is steaming, both from acid corrosion and regeneration, but that doesn't slow it down. Sakura tears her mind off thoughts of Levi plummeting to the earth below him and returns to the present, lest that be the last time she thinks about him ever again.

The Titan is looking impatient. It's probably worried about the boy Eren took with him. The longer Sakura stalls it, the more likely Eren will return to Hange, where the majority of their forces are. Once that happens, the chances of this Titan getting its comrade back is slim.

Sakura's mind spins. Would genjutsu work on a shifter in their Titan form? Should she trap it in a water jutsu? Go the offensive route and use fire instead? Or should she stick with close range combat, which is both her and the Titan's fighting style of choice? It could be risky. It's bigger than her, and that jaw is something fierce. Maybe she could sever the its nerves and inhibit its mobility—

She pushes down with her feet and launches herself into the air as the it leaps at her, teeth bared.

There's no time to think. She'll cycle through her ideas, starting with the nerves.

Sakura focuses some chakra into her hand, sharp as a knife, and waits for the Titan's next attack.

—

Levi isn't a man of intellect who will sit down, study, and theorize, but he isn't stupid. While the battlefield can be an uncertain place, there are also moments where things are so clear.

What is clear to him is that the biggest part of Marley's airships isn't made of metal, but cloth, which means that it's unlikely that its purpose is to hold equipment or soldiers. And if that's not the case, then Levi can only assume that the structure is critical for the ships to function properly.

Cloth is a weak material. Far weaker than a Titan's nape. The fabric slices up easily under his blades as he flies through the air with the use of his 3DMG, enhanced by his flash-stepping.

Levi should feel tired. He's never done so much flash-stepping in such a short period of time, but with Katsuyu on his shoulder, Sakura's chakra periodically replenishes him. It's a comfort for him, because as long as she's giving him chakra, she's still alive, and as long as she's still alive, he still has something worth surviving for. He knows his comrades are watching him in awe from Armin's shoulders as he moves in and out of the scalding steam, but he doesn't have the luxury to see; he's too busy estimating distances, shooting hooks, and using his chakra so he doesn't plummet to his death. He's not like the shinobi of Sakura's world—using chakra is not yet second nature to him.

He's slowly making his way through the line of airships surrounding Armin's head. After crashing the first two, he slashed his way through two more and is making his way to the next one. He's made it a quarter of the way around the shoulder, now near Armin's left ear; he's only beginning to feel like there's a chance of winning when he hears the first round of cannons, the sound roaring in the sky.

They're shooting blind.

Levi grits his teeth and scowls. He's fast, but there are so many of them and he's essentially a man trying to fly. This isn't practical, but he can't think of another way. He can only hope that none of their shots landed where they were supposed to, but there's no way to know from where he is.

He lands in the next airship and kills the soldiers on board. Now knowing exactly where the navigation room is, he runs until he reaches it to drive the ship back towards Armin's nape. There, he'll reconvene with the others.

His driving his subpar at best, but it gets the job done; he ends up close enough to Armin that his comrades join him on the ship. Levi meets them at the hatch.

"Is everyone okay? Did Armin get hit?"

"We're all fine," Philip answers as he climbs on, admiration in his eyes. "It's a miracle no one got hit. You're incredible! How do you do all of that—"

"You really think now's the time for that conversation?" Levi asks. "We're going to move away from Armin's nape and attack the remaining ships. Be ready. Once they're close enough, board them. Crash them, kill them, I don't care, just stop them."

Another round of cannon blasts deafens his ears.

Now that he's not alone, things seem faster, more chaotic. He drowns in the noise of people's voices, of the clang of metal, of constant footsteps and questions and answers and orders. Levi half explains the controls of the ship to some kid and returns to the hatch to fight. That's where he's meant to be: with the rest of them. He was never supposed to be a leader. He was never meant to inspire, never meant to be their strongest. He's always been one of them, hacking and slashing and getting his hands dirty.

He's suspended in the air between flash-steps when he sees the ship.

Armin has turned slightly from his original position and there is a ship directly behind him, close enough to his nape that they won't miss. The propellers are spinning so quickly to counteract the force of his steam that Levi's eyes can't follow the blades.

Fuck. They missed that ship somehow. He sees the cannons in the hatch—sees the soldiers lighting the fuses. He's the closest one to them, and even then he's not very close. He could probably flash-step quick enough but he's only one person—there are four cannons total lining the hatch and there's no way he could stop all of them from firing without getting himself killed.

The fuses burn, quick. It's a split second calculation for Levi.

When the cannons fire, one after another, the air splits four times with the sound, and he is nowhere near them. They're so loud his ears ache. He flies towards Armin's exposed nape where smoke and steam is rising, and he can already feel the dread heavy in his stomach.

Before he reaches Armin, a second round fires, and he doesn't even know from where. All he knows is that they're fired subsequently and not simultaneously, and that means a deeper, more precise damage. Levi lands on Armin's neck and attempts to fan away some of the smoke to clear his vision. Armin's Titan form, under his feet, is unmoving.

When the smoke clears, so does the steam. He hears Philip stand by his side more than he sees him—does not turn to look at his expression because he can hear it in the "Oh," that escapes his lips.

What's left of Armin's human body, at best, are his legs. Everything is unmoving.

Levi feels numb but he forces his body into motion. "Call the order to retreat," he tells Philip. His voice sounds hollow in his own ears. "We're done here."

He doesn't wait for Philip to acknowledge his words before making his way down Armin's already collapsing body.

—

Sakura is halfway back to Hange when she hears the cannons fire.

Severing the nerves, as it turned out, was a stupid idea on her part. In the heat of battle, she had forgotten that Titans regenerate—so even though it technically worked, it only worked for a few minutes at best, and then its body was back to full function again. In the end, she went with what she did best and succeeded: speed and brute force. Flash-stepping combined with her inhuman strength and a perfectly timed slice to the nape now yields her with the unconscious young man on her shoulder, intact save for his arms and legs.

She stops now, on top of a building and readjusting the man's weight to better carry him, and turns to look at Armin. There's too much smoke and steam to comprehend what's going on.

"What's happening over there?" she asks Katsuyu, who's right behind her.

The slug shakes her head. "I don't know, Sakura-sama. It's very chaotic."

"Is Levi okay?"

In the three heartbeats it takes for Katsuyu to answer, Sakura's heart jumps to her throat. "Yes. He's okay."

She exhales, breathing easier, and continues on her way. The buildings are a blur underneath her as she moves, but she pushes faster anyway—the faster she gets this man to Hange, the faster she can find Levi. Even though she's too far away to see what's happening over there, she knows it doesn't look good.

She thinks of the ring she wears around her neck. She thinks about the years she spent with Levi, sunny afternoons in the training grounds and quiet evenings in the teahouse he created in his image, with his dreams. She thinks about the house.

As she passes some carnage made from Armin's rampage and sees the blood and the bodies, she holds onto those thoughts.

—

By the time Levi's team returns to the docks, everyone else is there, including Mikasa. She had returned from Marley's legislative building with the message that their opponents surrender; he's sure that she delivered their own message forcefully with no room for negotiation. It's why they chose her in the first place.

It's quiet. There are still many Marleyan soldiers laying on the ground, unharmed and still trapped in Sakura's genjutsu, but there are also some corpses. Some wear navy blue uniforms, some wear the wings of freedom.

He lands by the boats in front of Hange, the cables of his gear snapping into place with a metallic clang. It's mid-morning now; not much time has passed since they first arrived on the boats, but somehow, it feels like an eternity.

Hange's eyes sweep over the soldiers who arrived with Levi. "Where's Armin?"

Silence falls. Levi clenches his fists so hard his nails dig into the skin of his palms.

Philip clears his throat to speak, but Levi beats him to it. "He's dead."

A hushed exclamation ripples through the crowd.

Hange doesn't push for details, even though he can tell that she wants to know. "I see. And his body?"

"Nothing worth bringing back."

She nods, and then gives the order for a full retreat. This is a victory, all things considered. Armin destroyed a large portion of the city and its inhabitants with it. They have the Armored Titan and recovered the Jaw Titan. The Marley government surrendered.

It's a victory, but it doesn't feel like one.

Levi sits in a boat and waits, lets everyone else carry the equipment and do the heavy lifting. His jaw is tight and his knee bounces restlessly as his leg shakes. He sees Sakura approach him, teeth worrying her bottom lip. She looks a little tired, but otherwise fine.

When she reaches out to touch his shoulder, he swats her hand away, fast and hard. The brusqueness of the action makes her take a step back as though burned. Levi doesn't have the heart to care right now.

She stands there for a moment longer before sitting down beside him even though there are plenty of other places to sit. Their legs press together and it feels hot, burning in a way that's like he's being branded. He feels cornered and restless and angry like a caged animal, but he can't put a finger on what it is that's keeping him locked up.

Levi stares at the ocean and walks through those moments again. The moments when he's suspended in the sky, noticing that ship too late. The moments it takes for the fuses to burn and for the cannons to fire. The moments he spends choosing between himself and Armin.

In the end, it's all about decisions. This is the one he chose. Now he has to live with it.

—

The next morning, after they've returned to Paradis and had the night to rest, he's in Hange's office with Sakura, Eren, and Mikasa.

Mikasa is crying but she doesn't make a sound. Silent tears streak down her face and drip from her chin, and she's biting so hard on her bottom lip to keep from sobbing that she draws blood. The sight of her is familiar; she looked just like this years ago, when for that brief window of time, Levi had decided to save Erwin with Titan spinal fluid rather than Armin.

In contrast, Eren's brow knits together as he processes what Levi says. "So you're telling me that you saw the opportunity to save Armin," he says slowly, "and you didn't. Even though Armin was strategically more important than you were. Even though he had the power of the Colossal Titan and held way more value to us than you ever will."

Levi listens to Eren's accusations. "Yes."

Eren's body begins to shake. "You're a coward," he hisses, venom in his voice. "You act so big for being humanity's strongest. But all you've ever done is walk on the backs of those who died for you."

"Eren," Hange says, like a warning.

"I never wanted to be humanity's strongest," Levi says. "That was a name others gave me. I never said I'd live up to it."

"Fucking coward," Eren says again, before throwing a punch at him.

Levi sees it coming from a mile away, but he doesn't move. Instead, he lets the hit connect with his jaw—he lets his head spin to the side, lets the dull pain set in. He stands rigid, eyes fixed on the wooden floor.

Sakura steps between him and Eren. "Don't," she says. "He did what he could. There are bound to be casualties in any battle."

"You can hit me all you want," Levi sneers. Rage ignites in Eren's eyes—rage that Levi thought had died out a long time ago. It makes him look like that young boy he Levi first met in a different lifetime, who lacked finesse and strategy but had all the drive it took to face the Titans beyond the walls and survive. "But it's not going to change what happened. It's fucking shitty. But it happened."

"You don't get to say that!" Eren shouts, quickly stepping around Sakura and punching Levi again. And again, Levi lets him.

The sound of Hange's chair scraping across the floor as she stands has everyone stilling. "That's enough," she says. Her voice has a sharp edge to it that has even Eren dropping his fist. Levi massages his jaw; it'll be sore for days. "You're all dismissed—go take a walk and cool down. When I return from the capital tomorrow, I better not hear that you two laid hands on each other."

Technically, Levi didn't do anything, but he doesn't bother pointing that out. At her permission to leave, he spins on his heel and is the first one out the door.

Sakura follows him, constantly half a step behind. He moves quickly down the hall, knowing that he won't shake her off even if he tried. She promised her life to him—in this moment, she feels both like a bother and a comfort, both inclinations fighting for dominance in his heart and neither coming out victorious.

It's only when they return to their shared bedroom that he finally stops.

"Levi," she says. Her voice is soft.

"No," he tries to say, although his voice only comes out as a hoarse whisper.

He sits down on the bed. She settles down beside him and tries to heal his jaw. He swats her hand away.

Eren is right. Armin was far more valuable than Levi ever will be—he was sharp and strategic, and he was going to pass on the power of the Colossal Titan. At this point, Levi is just a man who is tired of fighting. But he wasn't thinking about those things when he chose himself. He wasn't weighing the advantages of his survival over Armin's.

Now that he tries recalling the moment of his decision, he isn't sure if he was thinking at all.

He feels Sakura's fingers at his nape, gently massaging the muscle there, fingers combing through the short hairs at the base of his neck. "Are you okay?" she asks quietly.

Levi pushes himself to his feet and pulls off his cloak, undoes the top buttons of his shirt. Everything feels tight and his breaths are coming shallow but he makes sure to keep his expression even and his movements steady as he grabs a handkerchief and begins to scrub at a dirty spot on the table.

"I'm fine," he says. "I'll be fine."

Notes: But...is he actually fine? :( sad things have happened, my friends.

*phew* and that's the end of the action! Next chapter, we're back to our regularly scheduled emotional conversations.