Chapter 10

The night before had been informative and allowed him to view his teammate in a new light.

She was astoundingly open in her emotions – more so than usual following his uncharacteristic outburst – and any questions he possessed, she answered without hesitating. Nothing was held back and he appreciated the honesty, for it granted him peace from his constant doubts, in a sense.

Part of Sai couldn't believe how irrational his mind had been, jumping to such a ridiculous conclusion of dying due to the pain in his chest. However, now that he was thinking rationally, he knew for certain that the ache was completely different to what he'd experienced when Shin died, so did that mean his mind was right for assuming it to be a medical emergency? He wasn't sure.

He'd cried when Shin died, however it was just the once so the sensation was somewhat unfamiliar to him. Seeing the tears coating Sakura's thumb was startling to say the least, for he'd always assumed it would take much more than a girl crying over her heartbreak for him to cry once more, especially considering he'd willingly shut those negative emotions away (for he knew the grief over Shin's death wouldn't stop unless he shut it out).

How had she brought that pain out of its locked box?

It must have been a gift of hers – to awaken the emotions in those who'd long locked them away. Firstly, she made such an impact on Uchiha Sasuke that he hesitated in disposing of her, when Sai knew he could do so with unsettling ease. Then, there was Sabaku no Gaara, the psychopathic jinchūriki of Suna who opened himself to being physically involved and vulnerable with her. And now himself. How did she manage that?

She was certainly a person that others naturally gravitated towards, Sai had noticed upon meeting her.

When he'd received his mission of putting Uchiha Sasuke down, he hadn't hesitated. He'd done his research on his team, had taken note of how others reacted to the mentioning of his name and he of theirs when he eventually met him. It was clear that there was a unique bond between himself and Naruto, but one that was even more so between Sasuke and Sakura. One he had no hopes in understanding.

He looked to her in a way he didn't Naruto. He didn't hesitate in attacking the blond, but when it came to Sakura, he did, like Sasuke couldn't bring himself to harm her. Sai had noticed that instantly when she came face to face with him, when he'd been stuck between them and wondering if he was supposed to protect his comrade while simultaneously ruining his future on Team Seven by taking out their precious person.

Then again, with Sasuke dead, his mission was complete. There was no need for him to remain on Team Seven.

The shinobi side of himself (which was supposed to be the only side of him) heartlessly ordered Sai to use the precious bond between Sasuke and Sakura to complete the ongoing mission. If he grew closer to Sakura, she could create the opening he needed to put Sasuke down, since she would undoubtedly make him lower his guards.

But then he recalled the way she'd broken down over Gaara, who he wasn't entirely sure meant half of what Sasuke did to her.

If he used her to kill Sasuke, then she would despise him and rightfully so.

He…

Merely contemplating betraying her heart in such a monstrous way left a bitter taste in his mouth, and Sai knew there would be no coming back from that. However, what else was he supposed to do? Just because he'd told Naruto he wouldn't go after Sasuke didn't end his mission – it simply made it more precarious in terms of his bonds. Danzo was still his leader and his orders were final. Besides, even if he failed, Danzo would only send others after the Uchiha.

That was another obstacle he was rapidly growing more frustrated with, especially after witnessing their agony over the traitor. Although they were aware of the order, he couldn't even tell his teammates that his mission was still ongoing or warn them of Danzo's plans to assassinate Sasuke, no matter the cost.

Sai wasn't even sure he wanted to tell them – that was the worst part. If he told them, being the irrationally emotional and impulsive people they were, they would no doubt take matters into their own hands and make some kind of attempt to save Sasuke's life, probably signing their own death warrants in the process. So, even though he wanted to warn them of the traitor's inevitable fate, he didn't want to run the risk of losing them.

They'd become important to him. Both of them had. That much was proven the night before.

As though his problems weren't great enough as they were, another was dumped on him and it involved the exact same woman.

So far, he didn't believe there was cause for concern, especially now that the relationship between Gaara and Sakura was dead. Not only from what he'd learned of her so far, but even his gut instinct told Sai that Sakura would not allow herself to become Gaara's other woman. That was confirmed the night before when she'd said so herself.

Basically, if they went through with the marriage, then it was permanently over for Gaara and Sakura and as much as it twisted his stomach witnessing her pain, he knew without a doubt that it was for the best. Konoha would lose a valuable asset, should they continue their relationship and pursue it further, and their untrustworthy ally would be in possession of her. They would be in possession of the Hokage's trusted apprentice and secret jutsu.

All of their strategies, their security, it was all breeched. Most worryingly, their Hokage was open to attacks, meaning Konoha was unforgivably vulnerable.

What was he supposed to do?

It was evident Sakura had received some form of good news – even though straight faced, her eyes were nothing like they'd been the night before, rather alight with what he presumed to be relieved happiness. Sai pondered if he'd guessed that right.

Remaining seated at the communal dining area despite being finished with his lunch, Sai hunched over the table, quickly scribbling down the outline of his most recent muse into his sketchbook.

He considered what had raised her spirits, momentarily entertaining the thought of it being their night together, however he swiftly deemed that as ridiculous because why would that make her so happy? Or was it possible to be from the lack of sleep? Maybe she was delirious because of it? Sai assessed her silently for several moments from the corner of his eye, though found no other signs of delirium.

Dropping his gaze to his sketchbook once more, he continued his drawing, keeping in mind how the lighting had hit in that exact moment.

It was undeniably good news Sakura had received. Her eyes were too bright considering her lack of sleep and while in the past it'd served painful for them all when she was tired, now, Sakura was nothing but smiles and warmth.

Unless…

Did it involve Sabaku no Gaara?

No, he knew enough about Sakura now to know she wouldn't go back to a man who didn't intend on creating a future with her. She was too much of a romantic, not to mention he often got the feeling she valued herself and was proud. And spiteful, Sai added to himself. The chance of Sakura refusing to go back to Gaara even if she wanted to, simply to spite him for making her feel as though she didn't matter as much as the daimyō's relative, was highly likely although the opposite was unfortunately not impossible.

Sai's musings were rudely interrupted when he was forced to recall a vexing fact once he'd finished the outline, the inconvenience bringing his drawing to an early end.

Damn it, he hadn't brought any colours.

It definitely involved Sabaku no Gaara. How did he know?

Why else would they be summoned to his office when their mission was supposed to be over? When they were supposed to be halfway back to the village by that point?

"No, we gotta wait until a messenger comes for us," Naruto explained when he stood to leave. Hands coming behind his head, blue eyes rolled. "He's been locked up in constant meetings with his council, so I think he's just using us to take a breather."

Considering he didn't know whether constant meetings were merely a part of being a Kage, or whether it was due to his impending nuptials, Sai wasn't overly suspicious of the news. After all, what was the likelihood of the Kazekage taking such a humongous risk in calling off an arranged marriage with a daimyō's relative when the outcome could impact his village massively?

"I wonder what it's about," Naruto mumbled thoughtfully to the rest of the team. He glanced between them, and Sai wondered how he was the only one to notice the knowing look shared between Kakashi and Sakura, since the blond failed to call them out on it. "Think it's to personally invite us to the wedding?"

"Who knows?" responded Kakashi lightly.

It was obvious the pair of them had an inkling as to what the meeting was about, and it frustrated Sai that they would withhold information in what was once enemy territory, particularly when considering the fact that Suna were hardly trustworthy given their history of turning on allies.

"Or maybe I'm gonna be his best man," continued the blond with a grin. Turning on his heel, he threw himself into the space beside Sakura, once more failing to notice the obvious as she glared at him for his callousness. "Maybe you'll be her maid of honour, Sakura-chan!"

Was he the only one to witness the way she faltered at the possibility?

"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped quietly, returning her attention to the scroll she'd been in the process of perusing. "Besides, Suna is too traditional for such a modern wedding. There won't be any bridesmaids or maids of honour. Not even a best man."

"You seem to know a lot about Suna's customs," Kakashi noted.

Once again, she faltered at the words, grip threatening to tighten on her scroll.

Foolishly, he spoke up for her without really meaning to, stating, "Shouldn't we all have such knowledge when travelling to other villages? For the sake of professionalism or our missions?"

"Missions? How?" asked Naruto cluelessly.

Was he really so obtuse? Had he slept all the way through the academy normal children were put through? It was a worrying thought, because how many fought for Konoha without really understanding what it meant to be a shinobi? Danzo would have had his head for such ignorance.

"Reconnaissance," Kakashi threw in helpfully.

"Avoiding unnecessary conflicts or damaging an alliance."

"Assassinations."

"It also helps medic-nin know what sort of poisons or medicinal herbs could be in the vicinity, making our lives so much easier."

Hands shot up into the air, and Sai watched blandly as Naruto waved them about almost frantically. "Okay, okay. I get it!"

Leaning back on the sofa she'd selected once she deemed her input in the conversation over, Sakura crossed her legs and he didn't fail to notice the way Naruto glanced downwards at them, his blue eyes travelling up the length of her pale, toned legs until he met Kakashi's warning glare and smirked sheepishly.

He'd always known Naruto to be attracted to Sakura, leading him to always be dismissive of any other woman and once more, Sai questioned the hidden ability of his teammate. How was she capable of drawing so many to her? Was she aware of her secret power?

Realising he himself was staring at her legs like they were the source of her hidden power, Sai quickly raised his eyes only to meet her curious ones peering back at him from over her scroll. Was that where any ordinary person would feel remorse or shame for being caught openly staring? Was she upset or angry with him? Was he supposed to apologise?

Then, she offered a small, understanding smile and Sai knew there were no misunderstandings or hard feelings between them.

And that… strangely filled his chest with warmth, and he realised it had something to do with the night before, for it was brought to the front of his mind. Relief, maybe? Had he been concerned about destroying the delicate bond growing between them by appearing as perverted as Naruto?

Emotions were complex and Sai couldn't decide if he even wanted to understand them, then again, being able to do so would mean he would no longer need to second guess his every thought or experience. Perhaps it would even help him with understanding others?

Returning to his chair and sketchpad since they had to wait to be summoned, Sai continued his drawing, once more cursing himself for failing to bring his colours. Though, he supposed, he could always redraw it once he returned to the village and simply shade the current one in. That way he wouldn't forget how the sun had highlighted them so wonderfully, the burst of colour reminding him of spring, when the grass grew more vibrant and the leaves on the trees returned, all looking so fresh and colourful as they flourished with new life.

Yes, he would do that, Sai decided while retrieving his pencil, tuning out Naruto's inane rambling as he continuously attempted to distract Sakura from her reading.

Perhaps he would draw her angry eyes next time.

The messenger who came to them was barely even a chūnin, their brown eyes astonishingly naïve for a Suna-nin. It was undoubtedly why they were sentenced to such a duty, Sai thought to himself, unable to shake the sight from his mind even when the girl turned and began to lead the way, guiding them through the scorching streets of Suna.

As they had the previous couple of days, they stood out uneasily, capturing the eye of Suna's inhabitants – both civilian and shinobi. Should they be ambushed, right then would have been the best time. They were outnumbered and he supposed, since the Suna-nin were in their own territory, outclassed too.

Although, Sai thought to himself as he looked ahead at his teammates, they were undeniably under the protection of the Kazekage thanks to the pair of them. One happened to be his dearest friend (or so Sai had heard), whereas the other was his lover (because the closer they grew to the tower, the more uneasy Sai grew, and he knew it was gut instinct warning him they were far from over – they couldn't be, not when they were being personally summoned and Sakura was chipper than ever).

Unlike their Hokage's Tower, where the halls were always filled with chūnin or even jōnin who were rushing around to complete their Hokage's orders, the Kazekage's were absent of life. Even to Sai, the sight of such empty, grand hallways filled with nothing but the sounds of their echoing footsteps was eerie and uncomfortable. It reminded him of ROOT's headquarters, the image perfected by the intense shadows the halls were shrouded in.

Somehow, it didn't seem to bother Sakura, whose gaze was fixated on the huge double doors straight ahead of them and like the occupant of the room could sense their presence (Sai didn't doubt he could, since he could feel the almost non-existent thrum of chakra surrounding them), those doors soon swept open without any hands pushing them and they were greeted with the sight of Gaara seated behind his desk, dressed in his Kage robes and appearing as indifferent as ever.

The office was hardly even lived in, Sai noted the moment they entered. Whereas the Hokage's office was filled to the brim with textbooks and scrolls and reports, the Kazekage's possessed only two bookcases that weren't even filled to capacity, alerting Sai that they potentially possessed a separate room for completed documents (the Hokage did too, but she preferred to keep everything close until they were officially deemed unnecessary). No cups marred his neatly organised desk. No potted plants decorated the office. It was as lifeless as his teal eyes as they assessed each of them.

Was he imagining them lingering on Sakura's?

What did she see in such a man? Although he was no longer in such a ruthless mindset, there was no changing the fact that Gaara had been an out of control psychopath who'd actually attempted to slaughter the entirety of Team Seven, including the boy she was supposedly in love with. And even if she could somehow look passed that, what about his dead eyes? There was impassive and then there was that. It was clear even to Sai that Sabaku no Gaara did not experience emotions the same way as anyone else, though he couldn't explain how or why.

"Thank you for coming," Gaara began before the doors were even finished shutting. "I understand that you may be perturbed by my holding onto your team. Know that your village will be paid for your staying here."

"More like holding us hostage," Naruto threw in, but with a smirk that told his friend it was all good. "So… Why did we have to wait around?"

For once, Sai appreciated Naruto's bluntness and need to make everything to the point. He wasn't one for prettying up orders or words and would rather face them head on, even if what he was about to hear hurt. It was one of few things Sai almost respected about his teammate, actually (almost because he knew his need to be blunt was partly due to his not understanding complex words or situations – everyone had to be simple in their terminology and intentions with him).

"Your wait was due to my own, as I was in correspondence with both your Hokage and the Daimyō of Fire Nation and had to wait for their permissions and understanding."

Sai didn't show what he was thinking, not even as his stomach sunk from the weight of his gut instinct.

"Your mission is not over yet, as you will be escorting the daimyō's niece, Fumiko, home."

From beside him, he heard the short intake of Sakura's breath, but she didn't look surprised in the least.

An unusual sensation burned his gut, much different from gut instinct, making Sai wonder if it was perhaps a stronger, more intense version of it. Did it mean the danger to Konoha was growing more concrete? He returned his gaze to the Kazekage, suddenly disliking the way the man sat so proudly behind his desk. It was irrational of him to feel such a way, wasn't it? Was it his emotions once more rearing their unwanted head?

"Eh?" demanded Naruto with an exaggerated waving of his arms, blue eyes growing impossibly wide. "You're sending her home? Aren't you marrying her anymore?"

"No," he replied simply.

No, it wasn't because of Gaara – not entirely. The burning sensation grew maddeningly hotter when he'd seen Sakura's reaction and how she was undeniably excited by the news. Why? Why was she excited that a man who'd so carelessly tossed her aside with little to no warning was now single once more? It was beyond comprehension for him.

"But why?" continued Naruto disbelievingly, like he couldn't sense the shift in the air from his teammates. The only one who seemed unaffected but at the same time alert was Kakashi, however even then, he didn't seem concerned in the least. "Didn't you see Fumiko-san? She's so beautiful! And curvy!" The words were emphasised by Naruto's hands as they grasped at the air, and he didn't fail to notice the ticking of Sakura's eyebrow as excitement vanished from within her effortlessly. "What more could you want?"

Annoyance made way for curiosity and part of Sai foolishly wanted to tell Sakura to stop being so open in her emotions. It was no wonder her love life was so tragic.

With a sigh, Gaara responded blandly, "A person's appearance doesn't matter to me. I found upon meeting Fumiko-san that I wish to be with a person who has a good heart that I can connect with."

She was unsettlingly silent, Sai noted and knowing it was detrimental to his health not knowing what was going through her mind, he glanced in her direction once more, though just as quickly as her own excitement and annoyance had left her, so did his burning gut – momentarily, that was. As soon as he registered the sadness in her gaze, the uneasy sensation returned at full force. He didn't understand why she was sad, but she was sad nonetheless and it was obvious that it was Gaara's fault somehow.

"In all respect, Kazekage-sama, this is no longer a matter for Konoha and we should have left the moment Fumiko-san was received by yourself," Sai argued levelly, spurred on by the intense burning. "Unless you plan to make it so?"

So faintly he almost missed it due to his teammates' reactions, Gaara's eyes narrowed.

The look Sakura shot him was disbelievingly furious, the widening of her eyes alone warning him not to push his luck any further. To others, it possibly appeared as nothing more than her old anxieties when in the Kazekage's presence, or perhaps her concerns of possibly offending him, but he knew different. He could see the traces of betrayal behind the anger.

"Contrary to what you believe, the girl requested that it be your team to escort her home." The way he spoke with Sai was nothing like how he spoke with Naruto, he noted. While his tone was bland with the blond, it was now tinged with something Sai couldn't quite put his finger on and instinct warned him not to push the psychopath too hard. "Following my decision to put a stop to the marriage, a private discussion between ourselves ensued and Fumiko explained to me that she is grateful for my rejecting her, though asked if she could make one request in return for the rejection. That request was for Suna to cover the costs of extending your mission, as she likes to believe she has bonded with you all."

After spending a week on a mission with both Sakura and her best friend Ino, Sai highly doubted that. No woman was ever grateful for being rejected even if it was for the best. Not entirely, anyway.

"Well," said Naruto a little awkwardly, his smile valiantly attempting to ease the tension as he took Sai out of the spotlight. "I can only think of one woman with a pure heart that connects with others' really easily and my Sakura-chan has already been claimed." Stepping closer to the suddenly unnervingly still woman, he nudged her playfully and grinned, adding unforgivably, "Even if he's not here to do the claiming, if you know what I mean."

Finally, Kakashi showed a reaction: shutting his eyes with a sigh of resignation. His apology for their actions was only halfway out of his mouth before Sakura's fist was mercilessly crashing down on the top of Naruto's head, and she didn't wince when his chin instantly slammed into the ground with a sickening thud.

It was well deserved, Sai thought.

"Shut the hell up talking about things you know nothing about, idiot!"

If only Naruto knew that he had potentially infuriated the Kazekage too. Although, he noted, Gaara didn't look in the least bit concerned.

He wondered what made Sakura angrier, considering Gaara's lack of reaction. Was it the mentioning of her bond with Sasuke in front of a current lover? Was her anger fanned to greater heights due to his indifference? Was she embarrassed? Was it because of her feelings for Sasuke still being present?

"When do we leave, Kazekage-sama?" Kakashi questioned.

Asking Kakashi for his opinion on the whole matter wasn't out of the question, was it? After all, he was possibly one of few who truly knew the situation between them, since he'd been not only hers, but Sasuke's sensei for quite some time.

Decision made in the hopes that it would extinguish the burning in his stomach, Sai patiently awaited for the details of their mission before turning the moment they were dismissed. Sakura was too busy shoving Naruto ahead of herself when he continued to grovel, not noticing his lingering behind for Kakashi, though just in case she had noticed and was suspicious, he waited until they were both out of earshot before questioning his captain.

"What is it?" Kakashi asked. It appeared he'd also waited until they were unable to hear them. Sai wondered why.

They traipsed through the Kazekage's Tower at a much slower pace than before, and it wasn't until then that Sai truly noticed how extravagant it really was.

"I don't understand Sakura's reaction to Naruto's words," he stated without hesitation, because what was the point in not diving straight in? "Why does she seem to always grow so angry at the mentioning of Uchiha Sasuke?"

Kakashi sighed at that, his single eye going to the exit of the tower. "You have to understand that we were all hurt by Sasuke's desertion, but personally, I believe Sakura was stung the hardest by it."

Perhaps. But surely time should have healed that wound for her? While he'd noticed there was a connection between the pair that kept her from being harmed by Sasuke, and he by her, surely she would no longer feel so hurt? Surely her anger was irrational by that point?

"As you already know, there has been talk lately of Sasuke and his reputation."

Of course. He was apparently growing increasingly ruthless in his attempts to take down his allusive, murderous older brother, only for each attempt to end in him needing to be saved by the medic he'd picked up from one of Orochimaru's hideouts. Danzo had always said that Sasuke didn't stand a chance in enacting his revenge or even coming close to defeating Uchiha Itachi, and that he was making a fool of himself in the process. It seemed his leader was right.

"It's understandable that she's wary of hearing his name now, because we never know what follows it or how it will affect us." Once more sighing with a weight Sai had no hopes in understanding, the older man looked upwards towards the cloudless blue sky. "But whether it's good news or bad, it always seems to break her heart that little bit more, reminding her that we're helpless to save him from the darkness he's trapped in."

Sai stared ahead of himself, but barely even saw the villagers who watched them closely. Unlike before, he didn't care for an ambush. That burning sensation was gone, replaced by a sinking that yearned for the burn to return, because what he was experiencing in that moment was so much worse. It reminded him of the night before when Sakura had so openly wept.

"Honestly?" he added with a small, sad smile that seemed to show more in his eyes than beneath his mask (since it barely moved). "She must be a saint. I don't think I can recall ever experiencing a love as unconditional as hers."

Was it really so unconditional, though? How could it be when she was now involved with Sabaku no Gaara? Or did the fact he even questioned it show that he knew nothing of romantic entanglements?

"It comes at a price, however. A heart capable of loving as hard and as unconditionally as hers is bound to get trampled on," he continued without much prompting. "What's worse is that us on the side lines can only wipe away the tears – no amount of warning or talking to her will change her mind once her heart is set on someone." Meeting Sai's eye, his captain then said, "Although, I feel like you're slowly coming to understand that, too."

Yes. Unfortunately, he was.

A/N - I'm so sorry for the delay in updating! As explained on another story and my profile: I'm going to stick to updating once a week (a different story each week) to try and prevent burning myself out again.

I hope you all had a good Christmas and a happy new year! Here's to (hopefully) a better one!