"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

Galatians 6:2

"I'll never forget standing there at the DX, hoping he'd answer the phone or that his car would show up."

Steve remained at Soda's side, one hand on his best friend's back, the other hiding his own face, as he listened to him recount the memories.

Soda couldn't help but glance at Steve, reaching out to grasp his shoulder, before he looked back at Dr. Morgan. "But he didn't come, and I knew something must be wrong. Cause he never misses work without calling. After Mr. Coleman told me I could go, Darry drove me over to Steve's house. His car was there, and the door was unlocked, but no one was home. I had such a bad feeling, and the only thing I could do was sit at my house and wait."

Dr. Morgan gave Soda a few moments, before she prompted him with a question. "Were you immediately concerned that Steve may be at risk of harming himself, or was it more of a general worry that something had happened to him?"

Soda didn't even have to think about his answer, his heart recalling all that had happened even prior to Steve's overdose. "I was worried that he would hurt himself. It was all I could even think of cause he'd been hurting and struggling so much. And I already knew he'd been having suicidal thoughts for a while and come close to, you know, acting on them. I mean, even before he told me about those thoughts, I worried he could get that bad."

Steve felt himself clutching the back of Soda's shirt, as he turned his head to look at his best friend. "I know even more now about how scared you were that day, buddy."

Soda blinked back the tears in his eyes, even as he knew they'd have to fall soon. "All I could do was sit there and hope for the phone to ring, and I kept thinking about how I'd just seen him that morning. I was scared I'd never see him again, but somehow, I fell asleep on the couch. I had this awful dream about Steve. About him dying."

"I never knew you dreamed about it, Soda."

"Cause I never told anybody that. But I was dreaming, and then Darry woke me up to tell me your dad called. You already know I cried and cried when I heard you'd overdosed and that I didn't believe what Darry was telling me. The only thing that helped was hearing you were alive and awake. I didn't know what I was supposed to do though."

"Do? What do you mean?"

"I didn't know what to do for you, what I should say, or anything. I mean, I always told you I was there for you, and I even wondered if I should've done it again that morning or even the day before. I listened to you tell me counseling was making you feel worse, but I didn't try to help."

"Yes, you did. You listened to me, and that was what I needed."

"And that morning, I was ramblin' on about how I'd been tipsy the night before. I should've asked how you were, then maybe-"

"Soda, tell me you're not doing this, man. I knew you were there for me. You did and said everything you could all the time. When I was in the hospital and before. I've never forgotten you coming to see me and making sure I knew you weren't going anywhere. I felt that from you, buddy, and I needed it so much then."

"But I knew something was wrong, and I didn't do anything, Stevie."

"That's not true. You were the first one I told about the suicidal thoughts. You were the first one to listen to that and make sure I knew I was loved. I came to you so much when I needed to talk or do something to get my mind off it."

"No. I stayed at work, even though I knew. I felt it! Maybe if I'd left sooner, I could've stopped you."

Steve's hands moved to each side of Soda's face, the hot tears that were falling from his best friend's eyes touching his skin. "Soda, it's not your fault. I did it, not you. You didn't know what I was doing. You had a bad feeling, and you called. You went to my house. There was nothing else you could have done. You couldn't have stopped me from getting those pills and taking them because I didn't tell anyone how bad I was feeling. I just did it."

Dr. Morgan, who had moved back to give Soda and Steve the space to talk, took this as her cue. "Sodapop, you are not responsible for the action Steve took that day. I know grief makes it tempting to blame yourself because you felt helpless and out of control. But you aren't at fault in any way at all."

Soda got up out of his chair and paced over to the bookshelf, leaning on the wall, as he sobbed. "But you stopped me from doing it, Stevie. I would've tried to kill myself if you hadn't gotten me through it."

Steve moved from his own chair, going to stand in front of Soda, his eyes also wet with tears, as he heard the sobs coming from his best friend. "That's because you came to me, buddy. You told me what was going on, so I could be there for you." He wrapped an arm around Soda's waist and guided him to the floor, still holding onto him, as they both sat down. "You know what though? You saved me too. That's why I'm still here. Just like I told you that day at the church. If I hadn't been able to talk to you, I wouldn't have told my dad about the suicidal thoughts. Then, when I overdosed, I might not have called him and gotten help in time. You both already knew I was struggling with the thought of taking those pills, and that made me able to speak up once I did it."

Soda laid his head on Steve's shoulder, as he felt his best friend's arms close around him. "I didn't mean to blame myself, Stevie. I didn't even always know I was doing it."

"I know what you mean, buddy. It's okay."

Dr. Morgan came and knelt down near Soda. "Sodapop, you can stay right where you are for as long as you need, but I'd like to ask you a question."

Soda looked at Dr. Morgan, as he kept his head on Steve's shoulder, his own arms now wrapped around him too. "Okay."

Dr. Morgan saw the tears that were on Soda's face, as she took in the sight of these two friends holding onto each other, the love between them almost a visible and tangible presence. "This will be painful to consider, but what if, despite all of Steve's efforts and your brother's efforts to help you and be there for you during those times you've told me about, you had gone through with harming yourself? Would either Steve or Darry be responsible for that? Would it be their fault for not stopping you?"

Steve couldn't help but hold Soda even tighter, knowing Dr. Morgan's intent, but also realizing he would've blamed himself if his best friend had attempted to take his own life.

Soda felt himself shudder inside, his reply automatic. "No. Of course not. It could never be their fault. I'd never want them to feel guilty like that either, no matter what I did."

Dr. Morgan got right in Soda's line of vision. "I knew exactly what you'd say to that. It's why I asked. I want you to see that, ultimately, we are responsible for our own wellbeing. Others give support and love, but it's up to us to accept it. It's up to us to reach out when we need help. If you had acted on your thoughts, it wouldn't have been Steve's fault, and it's not your fault he acted on his. It's just what happened in response to how he felt at the time."

Steve held Soda for a few more moments, before he reluctantly pulled away from the embrace. "Yeah. That's right, buddy. You've gotta stop blaming yourself for everything, man. You don't deserve any of it."

Soda cracked a small grin, as he wiped at the tears on his face. "You're just as bad about it, Stevie."

"I know. But that's why I understand, and it's why I know how much it'll hurt you if you keep doing it. You gotta remember it's just a feeling though. None of it's true."

"I've been thinking about it so much lately, and I swear I remember everything about that day and right after."

"Can I ask you something, while we're sitting here talking about guilt?"

"Yeah. Of course."

"Did you think about overdosing cause it's what I did? Did that give you the idea?"

Soda put his hands on Steve's shoulders, as he shook his head. "No. It was just cause of how the cough medicine made me feel, you know? Did you think it was cause of you?"

"Yeah. I did. As soon as you first mentioned that it was in your head. Cause you know how the pills I took didn't just make me go to sleep, so I thought maybe that made you think about taking something that would."

"No, Stevie. I would've thought of it anyway. Even if you hadn't ever done that."

"I don't regret it, Soda. I want you to know that."

"You don't regret what?"

"My overdose. When I said I wouldn't change anything this past year, I meant that too. Cause there's just so much I don't think I'd get if not for falling that far down. So much I couldn't share to help you."

"I'm always going to wish you had never hurt that bad."

"I know. And that's okay. I'm just seeing everything in a different way. I regret how much it hurt you and my dad, but I don't regret it for me. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt anymore, just that I wouldn't go back and change it even if I could."

"You really are finding peace with that, aren't you? To be able to say that, I know you must be."

"Yeah. I am." Steve pulled Soda close, hugging him again. "I'm so sorry I ever did anything that you've gotta work through like this, buddy. But you're going to be okay about it too. I promise I'm going to see to that."

Dr. Morgan remained close by, seated not far from where Steve and Soda were. "How are you doing right now, Sodapop? Is there anything else we need to address before we end today's session?"

Soda hugged Steve back, only moments passing by, before he pulled way. He looked at his best friend, then at Dr. Morgan. "Um, better, I think. Not as overwhelmed. But, uh, can I talk to you alone for a second?"

Steve saw Dr. Morgan nod, as he stood to his feet and held a hand out to Soda, helping him up. "I'll leave you to it, buddy. See you in the waiting room."

"What happened to him, man?"

Soda felt Steve's hand on his shoulder, as he watched Darry gently lay a sleeping Pony on their shared bed. "He was in a fire."

Steve saw Darry tuck the covers around the youngest Curtis brother, unable to keep from noticing Pony's blond hair. "Fire? Where?"

"Up in Windrixville at this old church."

"That's where they were, huh?"

"Yeah. Dal told him and Johnny to go there."

"Where are Dal and Johnny now?"

"At the hospital still. Dal's okay, but Johnny's real bad off, Stevie."

"You mean cause of the fire?"

"Yeah. Johnny and Pony, they ran into that church to save a bunch of kids. Dal helped them."

"Damn. Did Pony talk about what happened in the park?"

"Yeah. Johnny stabbed the Soc cause him and his buddies were trying to drown Pony in the fountain."

"So it was self-defense."

"Yeah. I knew it had to be." Soda stared at Pony, seeing Darry had sat down on the edge of the bed, a hand stroking his youngest brother's hair, as he slept. "You should've seen them at the hospital. Those two were huggin' the daylights out of each other."

"I bet they were."

"I've never been so glad to see somebody in my life."

Steve watched Soda, seeing the way he was looking at Pony. "You okay, man?"

Soda felt Steve squeeze his shoulder, as he took a deep breath. "Yeah. Just a lot to take in at once, you dig? But it's gotta get better from here."

"Absolutely, Sodapop. Of course we can do that. I think it's a good idea too, given how important these relationships are in your life."

"I'm just not really sure how he'll take it, you know? Cause there are things he deserves to hear from me, but I don't know if I can handle it on my own, even with Darry there."

"I understand, and I'm willing to do anything I can to help. I'll see you next week."

"Hey, take as long as you need, man. It's not a big deal to sit here, and I've got nowhere to be."

Soda sat in the driver's seat of the Chevy, Steve in the passenger seat next to him, despite the fact that he'd driven his own car to the center. "I'd just rather not have a breakdown in a parking lot."

Steve saw Soda rest his head on the steering wheel, the shake in his best friend's body starting to alarm him, even if he wouldn't say so right then. "I don't think you're having a breakdown. Just reacting to everything you said in there."

"I thought I was okay, Stevie."

"You are okay, man. But think about it. What you were saying in that session, it was real heavy. It was a lot to get off your chest, so of course you're still feeling overwhelmed right now."

Soda lifted his head up off the steering wheel and took a deep breath, the trembling he could feel in his body beginning to lessen.

Steve, slipping back into comforting mode, reached over and rubbed circles on Soda's back, his mind uttering a silent prayer. Please, God, help him be calm. Let this all be okay, and give me any words I need to say.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Steve looked at Soda, even as the prayer in his heart didn't pause. "Yeah. I'm okay, Soda. Don't worry about me."

"Are you sure?"

Steve gave Soda the smallest of smiles, hand still rubbing his back. "Yeah, buddy. I'm sure. Why don't we get on out of here? I think you could use some rest."

"Soda?"

Soda heard Pony's small voice in the dark, as he lie awake in the bed beside him. "Yeah, kiddo?"

Pony tucked himself closer to Soda, feeling his middle brother toss an arm over him. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Pony."

"I thought I was going to die in that fountain. I couldn't breathe."

Soda fought back the image his little brother's words created, not even allowing it to materialize within his mind. "I know, Pone. But you're here. You're home."

"You heard what the doctor said about Johnny, right?"

The words the doctor had spoken at the hospital much earlier that night knocked on the door of Soda's mind, even as he didn't let their reality sink in just yet. "Yeah. I did."

"Do you think he's right?"

"No, Pone. Doctors don't know everything, do they? Johnny will be fine, you'll see."

"Soda, are they going to take us away from Darry?"

Soda felt his whole body go tense, even as he tried to seem relaxed for Pony's sake. "Of course not, kiddo. You didn't do anything wrong."

"The cops always side with the Socs."

"They won't this time, Pone. Don't worry. Me and you ain't going anywhere."

"Hey, Kid, what's up?"

Pony came in from the back porch to see Steve on the couch. "Not a whole lot. Where's Soda?"

Steve glanced down the hall, where Soda had gone just moments before. "He's in his room lying down."

"Why?"

"Tough appointment today."

"He okay?"

"You think I'd be out here sitting on my ass if I didn't already make sure of that?"

"No. I guess you wouldn't be." Pony sat down beside Steve, studying his face. "So how about you then?"

"What about me?"

"You don't look right."

"Then maybe you should quit staring at me, like I'm on display or something."

"And maybe you should quit scowling before your face gets stuck like that."

"Kid, I really ain't in the mood."

Pony continued to look at Steve, sensing something in his demeanor that made him drop the attempts at joking. "Really, Steve. You don't look right."

"I'm fine, Pony. Worry about Soda, not me."

"But you said he's okay."

"He is. I'm just saying pay attention to him if you want to be concerned about somebody. Nothing's happening with me. I'm fine."

"Hey, Dar, ain't it my turn to cook tonight?"

Darry slid the pork chops into the oven, before turning his attention to Soda. "Yeah. But I was letting you sleep, little buddy."

Soda moved over to the stove, also seeing a pot of corn cooking. "You could've woke me up. You worked all day."

"It's all right, Sodapop. Not like this is a hard meal to prepare."

Soda picked up a spoon and stirred the corn. "Go relax, Dar. I got it from here."

"Are you sure?"

Soda flashed Darry a smile. "Yeah. Go on. Take a shower, and I'll even give you a back rub after dinner."

"Well, I sure can't argue with that, little buddy."

"Nope. It ain't even worth trying." Soda flipped on the oven's light, peeking in at the pork chops, as Darry left him alone in the kitchen. He looked out the window, seeing Steve on the front porch, before opening the door and sticking his head out. "Hey, Stevie. I didn't know you were still here."

Steve put out the cigarette he'd been smoking and tossed it away, then went to join Soda in the house. "Yeah. Still here, man. Just been hanging out."

Soda moved back near the stove, leaning on the counter. "You were right. I did need some rest."

Steve leaned on the counter beside Soda, a hand reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. "I knew it'd help. But I was trying to at least stay til you woke up."

"You didn't have to do that, Stevie. I'm all right."

"I know. But I wanted to."

Soda was about to say something more to Steve when he saw Pony come from his room. "Hey, Pone, could you keep an eye on dinner for me for a sec?"

Pony set the novel he'd been reading down on the counter, as he nodded. "Sure, Soda."

Soda turned back to Steve, his voice lower than it had been before. "Can I talk to you in my room?"

Steve didn't hesitate, following Soda from the kitchen and into his bedroom. "What's up, man?"

Soda closed the door, then sat down at the foot of his unmade bed, quiet at first, as he pulled together the words he needed to speak.

Steve took a seat beside Soda, his heart sinking when he could see tears in his best friend's eyes. "Soda? You just said you're all right, but you sure as hell don't look it now."

Soda pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, as he took a deep breath. "Damn it. I'm not trying to bawl again. I just wanted to tell you thank you for being there like you were today. I needed to tell you, not just Dr. Morgan."

"It's not problem, buddy. I'm happy to listen or do whatever."

"And I'm sorry too cause I know that ain't what this time should be."

"What are you talking about?"

"You just graduated from high school, Stevie. And here I am, bringing up this shit that's so painful for you and-"

"Stop. Don't you dare beat yourself up for being honest. I know what it's like to have guilt messing with you, man. So don't apologize for telling me. I wouldn't want you to go trying to keep that to yourself til you explode or something."

"I guess I really ain't feelin' right yet, huh?"

"Maybe not."

"That's okay?"

"Hell, yeah, it's okay. What are you thinking, Sodapop?"

"I don't know."

Steve was silent for a little bit, before he remembered something he'd wanted to bring back up. "Dr. Morgan said you felt like being a father would give your life more meaning. So do I need to tell you your life already has a lot of meaning now?"

"That's what she was trying to get me to see, asking about the people in my life and stuff."

"Well, it's true. You know I ain't the only one who'll say it either."

Soda closed his eyes, still fighting the tears that were trying to fall, as his voice shook. "I think it's happening again, Stevie."

"What's happening again?"

"The depression. It feels like it's coming back."

"You've had a rough day, man. I bet that's all."

"No. I don't think it is."

Hearing the fear in Soda's voice, Steve pulled him into his arms and held him. "Shh. Easy, buddy. What's making you say that?"

Soda leaned into the embrace, the warmth in it making the tears fall down his cheeks. "Just how I'm feeling about myself and everything. Like I'm not worth any of this."

"But you are, man. Those feelings and where they come from don't just disappear, okay? There's a lot going on, so if they're bugging you, it doesn't have to mean you're falling back where you were. It just means you're still recovering, and things come up sometimes."

Soda kept his head on Steve's shoulder, not ready to pull away just yet. "You're doing this a lot again."

Steve grinned, as he rested his head on top of Soda's. "What? Hugging you?"

"Yeah."

"That's okay. If I want to hug my best friend, I hug my best friend. That's all there is to it."

Soda felt Steve squeeze him once more, before he pulled away, calmer than he'd been moments earlier. "It just scares me, you know?"

"I know it does, man, and I know you've been worried about that anyway. But just try to relax and remember that no matter what kind of feelings rise up, you've got all the help and support you could ever need."

"Hey, Pone, where you been today?"

Pony felt Soda's arm fall across his shoulders and draw him closer, the middle brother still dressed in his DX shirt. "Went with TwoBit to see Johnny and Dal."

Soda got a good look at Pony's face, before he was pressing his hand to his little brother's forehead and cheeks. "You feelin' okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, Soda. Just upset about Johnny."

"How was he?"

"Not good. I see why the doctor said what he did last night. He's burned real bad and can hardly even move."

"Oh. But well, that's why he's in the hospital then, right? So they can take care of him, and he can get better."

"I ain't sure that's going to happen. That beam fell on him, Soda, and he pushed me out of the way."

Soda swallowed hard, as he tried not to imagine the burning church with his little brother inside or the pain Johnny must've endured within the flames. "I know, kiddo. I'll have to go see him, so he knows we're all rootin' for him to be all right." He pulled Pony in closer then, instinctively wrapping both arms around him. "I've gotta tell him thanks for watching out for you and having your back." Because he saved your life, Soda thought. Not once, but twice. When Darry and me weren't there to do it, he kept you safe.

"Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the one who always has my head in the clouds."

Soda sat on the porch swing, blinking as he realized Pony was standing right in front of him. "Huh? What'd you say, Pone?"

Pony took a seat next to Soda, looking at the sky, where the sun had already begun to set, night coming quickly upon them. "I was just wanting to know how you are. You didn't say a lot at dinner."

"Cause I was busy eatin'."

"That's never stopped you before." Pony lifted both feet onto the swing, leaning against Soda's shoulder. "So how'd your appointment go today?"

"Okay, I guess. I said a lot there."

"That's good, right? Cause you need to talk about stuff?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Does it help to have Steve or Darry there with you?"

"Yeah, Pone. It helps a whole lot."

"Were you tired when you got home because you talked so much with Dr. Morgan?"

"Something like that. You're just full of questions tonight, ain't you?"

"Looks like it."

Soda started to make a request, only to bite his lip, deciding to put it off for now. "I'm just doing what I'm supposed to, you know? So I can keep getting better."

"So are you getting better then?"

"I think so. I mean, I'm nothing like I was before."

"You don't ever think about killing yourself anymore?"

"No, Pone. I ain't thinking about it at all."

"Would you tell me if you were?"

"Yeah. Since you're asking, and you knew about it before."

"Why'd you have that panic attack the other day?"

"Just anxiety and stuff like that. But don't worry about it, okay? Cause I'm getting everything that bothers me off my chest. I'm doing all I can to stop it from dragging me back down into the dark."

"Hey, Steve, you know I don't mind you being here, but isn't your dad wondering about you?"

Steve sat in the recliner in the living room, hearing Darry's voice over the kitchen sink's running water. "I called him earlier. Cause, yeah, he probably would be since I usually at least go home for dinner."

Darry finished rinsing the soap off the last of the plates they'd used at dinner, then started drying all the dishes with a towel. He glanced out the front window, seeing Soda and Pony on the porch swing. "Are you worried about Soda?"

Steve also looked outside at his best friend, his mind not able to stop echoing the words he'd heard him speak in Dr. Morgan's office. "Make sure you talk to him tonight, Darry. Please."

"Did something happen with Dr. Morgan?"

"No. I wouldn't say anything happened. I just think you'll want to know some of what he said today."

"It's not anything serious enough for you to tell me though?"

"No. It's nothing like that." Steve looked out the window once more, seeing Soda get up off the swing. "Just talk to him, Superman. I think he needs it."

"Darry, be honest with me. Are they going to take us away?"

Darry ran a hand through his hair, as he turned to face Soda. "I don't know, little buddy."

Soda moved closer to Darry, both of them in the middle of the oldest brother's bedroom. "I don't want to leave. Pony didn't even do anything wrong. It was the Socs' fault. They're the ones who jumped Pony and Johnny."

"I know, Soda. But you're about to be seventeen so-"

"I don't want them to make Pony leave either, Darry. That'd still be awful."

Darry's eyes found Soda's and held his gaze, as he put his hands on his middle brother's shoulders. "I know that. And I'm so sorry, little buddy. None of this would've happened if we weren't fighting all the time, if I weren't so damn hard on him."

"Please don't do that to yourself, Dar. You've done your best. It ain't your fault all this happened."

"I'm the one that hit him, Sodapop."

"You still didn't make those Socs jump them."

"But that's the reason Pony was out there in the first place."

Soda lifted his hands to hold onto Darry's arms, his eyes staring into those of his big brother. "I'm not blaming you, Darry. Pony ain't either. Please know that. Even if you don't know anything else, please know I'll never blame you, no matter what happens."

"Oh. Hey, Son. I didn't even hear you come in. I was starting to think you might be sleeping over at Sodapop's."

Steve didn't reply to Nicholas, as he pulled a white t-shirt over his head, then crawled into bed.

Nicholas moved forward into Steve's bedroom, seeing that his son had buried his face in the pillow. "Steve? What's wrong?"

Steve willed himself to answer, his voice both muffled and shaky. "The world is so fucked up, Dad."

"Why do you say that?"

"Cause Soda's been blaming himself."

"For what?"

"My overdose?"

Nicholas sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand on the back of Steve's head. "He told you that?"

"Yeah. I ended up in Dr. Morgan's office with him today cause he had a panic attack and was asking for me."

"What's making him think that could possibly be his fault?"

Steve sat up on the bed, a couple of tears falling down his cheeks, though he didn't bother wiping them away. "He said it's cause he didn't leave work sooner. Like if he had he might've been able to stop me. He even feels like if he'd said the right thing that morning or the day before, it would've made me not do it."

Nicholas sighed, putting an arm around Steve to draw him close. "Both of you boys always feel so much guilt whenever anything happens to either one of you. Even when there was nothing you could've done."

Steve leaned into his dad, accepting the comfort he hadn't realized he needed. "Yeah. So Dr. Morgan asked him if it would've been my fault or Darry's fault if he had tried to kill himself."

"I know he must've said it wouldn't be."

He did. Soda would never want me or Darry to feel that kind of guilt."

"Of course not."

"I didn't tell him this, but I would've blamed myself, Dad. If he'd still done what he was talking about, I'd feel guilty too. It'd be impossible not to wonder if I could've done more." Steve pressed his face into Nicholas' chest, focusing on the feel of his dad's shirt against his cheek and the strength of the arm that held him tight. "Especially if he'd actually died."

"Thanks, little buddy. That feels a lot better."

Soda's hands kneaded Darry's back, his fingers massaging the muscles. "No problem, Dar."

Darry felt himself relax, his middle brother always able to help him unwind. "How was your appointment?"

"Are you going to ask me twenty questions too?"

"Huh? Who did that?"

"Ponyboy. When we were out on the porch. I didn't know if he'd ever stop."

"Well, I won't do that. I'll just ask how it was."

Soda hesitated, his hands still moving along Darry's back, putting pressure on the tense muscles. "Um, I guess I can't say it was the usual."

"Okay."

"You know Steve came with me, but he actually didn't stay in the waiting room this time. I asked Dr. Morgan to get him for me cause, well, I needed him in there."

"All right. I'm sure she was good with that, as long as you were comfortable."

"Yeah. She was. I got real anxious and kind of panicky, like I did on Saturday."

"So did Steve coming in with you help?"

"Yeah. There was some stuff I needed to say to him, and I don't know, maybe it's better I ended up doing it there."

"Maybe so. Especially if it's anything Dr. Morgan could also help you deal with."

Soda's hands went still, before he moved so that he was in front of Darry, rather than behind him. "Dar?"

Darry's blue eyes met Soda's brown ones, the softness of his little brother's voice making him seem much younger than his eighteen years. "Yeah, little buddy?"

"I know I've been asking for a lot lately. Not even just lately, but for months."

"No, you haven't. Only what you've needed."

"I've needed a lot though."

"And that's okay, Sodapop. Tell me what you need now then."

Soda put his hands on each of Darry's arms, his gaze moving down. "I don't want to talk anymore tonight. And I know I ain't cryin' or anything. But could you just hug me?"

"Come here, little buddy." Darry wrapped Soda in his arms and kissed the top of his head. "You don't have to talk or cry for me to hug you. Nothing bad has to be happening. I'm your big brother, and it's all right if you just need to be held."