Kenny often contemplated about how he'd always had a knack for ending up in unexpected situations. There was that time back in elementary school when he made his way onto an active Nascar track, and lived to tell the tale. There was that weekend that he, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman actually made some money as a fake pan flute band. Then there was that other time that he was able to go to Hawaii for free as Butters' emotional support animal of sorts. He didn't know how he managed to get into these situations. He never actively went looking for them. They always just seemed to fall into his lap.

Not unlike his current situation.

He felt a light slap on his cheek. "Hey, don't lose focus. I feel like I'm doing all of the work here!"

He supposed he should have known better than to let his mind wander while making out with Wendy Testaburger. She was perched on his lap, sandwiched between his chest and his steering wheel, and trying not to accidentally honk the horn while she grinded on his thighs.

But seriously though, how did he get here?

A twenty minute car ride never felt as long as when it took place in an uncomfortable silence. Kenny badly wanted to cut through that thick wall of dead air with his usual charm, but given how Wendy had reacted to him earlier in the evening, he had second thoughts. He glanced over at her on the passenger side of his truck's bench seat. She was resting her chin on her hand, staring out the window into the darkness. Maybe the silence was exactly what she needed.

After five more minutes, Kenny felt like he was going to burst. He had to say something or he would explode.

"Stan tonight...the audacity of that man, am I right?" he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Nothing from Wendy.

"Though I'm being awfully generous calling Stan a man, especially after all of that. He's my friend and all, but tonight he was more little boy than a man."

More silence.

He was about to speak up again when Wendy finally spoke.

"Can you not talk about Stan right now, please?" she said, softly.

"Yeah...sorry. I just thought maybe you wanted to talk about it, and then I thought maybe talking trash about Stan would help make you more relaxed and willing to open up."

"I really don't want to talk right now. Please," she begged.

"Okay. Understood."

Wendy sighed and rubbed her forehead. He wasn't helping her situation, and he certainly wasn't helping their already tattered relationship. He turned his attention to the road. The least he could do was get her home quickly and safely, and then he could go home and try to forget today ever happened.

When he finally turned into her family's driveway, he put the truck in park and turned it off.

He lightly drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "Well...here we are, safe and sound. Sorry the night didn't go quite as you had planned."

He paused to wait for her to get out of the truck, but she didn't move.

"Wendy?"

"No," she said.

"Huh?"

She sat up straight. "No. Tonight does not end like this. I won't let him ruin my Friday night."

"Okay, that's cool. Do you need me to drop you off somewhere?"

"No." She unbuckled her seat belt and turned her whole body to face Kenny. "Let's make out."

Kenny was taken aback by her proposal. He never in a million years would have guessed that those words would come out of her mouth at that moment.

"Uh…what?"

"I said I needed some fun tonight. Isn't this one of the things you're famous for? Physical fun?"

Kenny pursed his lips. "I mean, yeah, I guess. But you hate me, so why would you want to make out with me?"

"I don't hate you."

"Bullshit. You've been weirdly cold to me so far this season. I thought we were friends. Maybe not the closest of friends, but still. I don't get it. What the fuck did I do?"

Wendy sighed and looked down at her hands while she twiddled her thumbs. "I suppose I have been a bit of a bitch to you lately. I'm not sure why exactly, but I think it's because I'm so focused on school and band and college applications this year...and when I see you laughing and goofing off over in the drumline, it makes me upset. It makes it look like you don't take things seriously and...and I can get very judgmental…and apparently I take it out on you."

Kenny crossed his arms. "You know that I'm not the slacker kid I was freshman year, right? I take band, and music in general, very seriously. But I also like to enjoy myself. I can laugh and fuck around with the drumline because I know that they know when I say it's time to get serious? When I say it's time to focus and practice? We're gonna get it done."

Wendy nodded. "You're right. I need to be better about processing and adjusting my own biases. It's not fair to you or the other drummers." She lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Kenny."

"Thank you." He unfolded his arms, moving his right arm to rest on the back of the bench seat. "So, uh, I know that was a bit of a downer and all, but do you still wanna make out?"

It turned out that Wendy was as skilled at kissing as she was at everything else. Kenny felt that he shouldn't be surprised by that, but honestly, he was. He had always seen her as the repressed preppie type, too busy with studying and getting straight A's to be worried about engaging in physical endeavors. But that wasn't the case at all.

She ran her fingers through his hair while she gasped for air against his lips. She rocked her hips against his lap, creating just enough friction to keep him semi-hard. Her neck had just a hint of flowery fragrance, enticing Kenny to bury his face there and leave a trail of kisses and light nips along the way. Her occasional moans made him only want to kiss her harder.

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over…

Kenny could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket.

"Hey," he mumbled against her lips. "Do you wanna answer that? We can put this on pause."

"It's just Stan, so I don't give a fuck."

Kenny laughed as Wendy moved to kiss his neck. He liked this Wendy. Why couldn't she show this side more often? Did Stan get to see this side of her all the time? He was beginning to understand why they had been together for so long when they never seemed like they had much in common.

"Kenny," she sighed into the crook of his neck. "Would you like to have sex with me?"

Kenny felt his cock twitch. He had never thought about sex with Wendy, even as a passing thought. However, given certain recent developments, he was definitely not going to pass up the opportunity.

"That's not a trick question, right?" he asked.

Wendy actually giggled. "No, dummy. I'm not joking. This has definitely been fun, but now I'm horny, and when I'm horny, I can't focus on anything else until I come. So that's happening either way, whether I fuck you or myself."

"I know you probably think you're being matter of fact right now, but that was hot as hell."

She got off of his lap and opened the truck door to get out.

"So are you coming or what?"

"Fuck yeah, I am."

As they approached the front door, Kenny had some questions.

"So, like, are your parents not home or something?"

"No, they're home," she said.

"And they're just...cool with you bringing over some guy to fuck while they're around?"

Wendy gave him the side eye. "Please. You don't think I already have a plan for this?"

She opened the front door and stepped inside. Her parents were sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching a movie.

"Hey, mom. Hey, dad," she said.

"Oh hey, sweetie! I'm surprised to see you back so early," said Mrs. Testaburger. "And who is that with you? Is that…Kenny McCormick?"

Kenny shuffled into the house and closed the door behind him. He had never felt so uncomfortable in his entire life. Driving in silence with an angry Wendy was way better than this. Typically whenever he was invited over someone's house to smash, they were the only ones in the house. Behind the school and in the woods near Stark's Pond were popular spots when houses were occupied, but Kenny didn't think that Wendy would be into that sort of venue. He had never had to deal with awkward small talk with a partner's family before, and he was drawing a blank on what to do.

"Uh...yeah...hi," he said. He raised his hand and did a little wave in the Testaburger's direction.

"Stan was being inappropriate at the dance, so I decided to leave," said Wendy. She moved up to her parents and gave each of them a kiss on the cheek. "I asked Kenny here to give me a ride home. We're going to go upstairs and listen to the band's recording from the last competition, and he's going to help me make a list of areas we need to work on for the next one."

Kenny just nodded in agreement, hoping the look on his face didn't make it obvious that he was hearing all of this for the first time.

"Okay, sweetie. Don't work too hard, and don't stay up too late," said Mr. Testaburger as they returned to their movie.

Wendy waved Kenny up the stairs. He quickly followed, not wanting to accidentally get caught up in more potential parental small talk.

"That was freaking smooth, Testaburger!" he grinned once they were outside her room.

"I'm just that good, McCormick," she smirked, opening her door.

Wendy walked into her room and made a beeline for her desk. She put down her bag and immediately turned on her computer. She opened up a playlist of the band's competition recording and set it to repeat. Once she adjusted the sound to a high enough level to ward off her parents, she began to remove her clothes.

Kenny closed the door behind him and looked around. He stood in awe at the perfection that was her bedroom. It was so neat and organized. It looked like she actually used things in the ways they were intended. There weren't any loose papers lying around. Dirty clothes weren't sticking out of half opened desk drawers. Her bed—her bed was like something out of an interior decoration magazine. It was meticulously made, with crisp hospital corners and the blanket pulled taut across the top.

"Your room isn't real," he said. "You really are a perfectionist. I mean, your fucking bed alone. I don't feel comfortable ruining that."

Wendy pulled the elastic out of her loose bun and shook out her hair. She was down to just panties and a bra. Her underwear was much more practical than Red's had been. Basic cotton with no frilly nonsense, but the royal purple color showed a bit of her personality. She turned around and began to walk toward Kenny.

"I agree," she said. "That's why we're not doing it on my bed."

She sat down in the middle of the plush carpet floor and looked up at Kenny.

"My bed is my temple, and it'll not be sullied by my carnal urges. Also it's squeaky as hell and my parents will definitely know that I'm having sex."

"Even with the music this loud?" asked Kenny.

"I don't know for certain, but I'm really not interested in finding out tonight." She stretched out her legs and leaned back on her hands. "You coming?"

Kenny pulled his t-shirt up over his head and tossed it to the side. "I mean, I'm not right now, but I plan to be later."

"Oh my god, stop," she said, rolling her eyes. "You sound like Stan right now."

Kenny got down on his knees and crawled toward Wendy, a dopey grin on his face. "Okay, Miss Testaburger, I'll be good."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't you start playing with me, Kenny. I swear, I'll punish you if you keep this up."

"Promise?"

His grin grew bigger when Wendy reached forward and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him close to her. She planted her lips against his, quickly nipping at his bottom lip to show him she was serious. He groaned at the sensation, happy to let her take control. One of her hands slid up the back of his neck and into his hair. Her nails scratched against his scalp, sending a shiver up his spine.

He felt her breasts press against his chest. He could already feel her erect nipples through the thin fabric of her unlined bra. His hands slowly roamed from her waist, up her back. He was about to unhook the clasp when Wendy put a hand on his arm.

"Wait. I'll get it," she said, breaking away from the kiss.

She made quick work of her bra, sending it over toward Kenny's shirt. Kenny knelt in front of her, smiling. She noticed him staring and instantly became suspicious.

"What is it? What's the matter?" she asked.

Kenny smiled even bigger. "Nothing. Just enjoying the view."

"W-what?!" she stuttered. Her cheeks flushed under his gaze. "Don't be dumb, Kenny."

Kenny never knew how embarrassed Wendy got when she was complimented on her body. It was awfully cute.

"I'm not being dumb," he said, leaning forward on his hands and knees. "You are beautiful, Miss Testaburger. From your soft black hair and smooth skin, to your petite breasts and slender hips, from your kickass marching band legs, to your enormous brain."

He crawled closer to Wendy, causing her to lean back further and further until she was lying flat on her back with Kenny over her.

"You said you wanted to have fun, right?" He leaned in close to her face. "Then let me show you how I have fun," he whispered.

He winked at her and she promptly rolled her eyes. He chuckled quietly to himself as he worked his way down her body, leaving a trail of nips, licks, and kisses in his wake. She might have outwardly scoffed at his particular brand of charm, but the flush from her cheeks had spread across her body, so it seemed like she was at least enjoying it to a certain degree.

His lips brushed against a particularly sensitive area on her stomach. Her hips bucked up in spite of herself.

"What do we have here?" he teased.

He placed several kisses around the same area, managing to pull some soft moans out of Wendy. He slowly grew rougher with his mouth, dragging his teeth across her sensitive skin. Her moans became louder, the muscles in her abdomen tensing and relaxing, her back arching like she was trying to push her body closer to his mouth. Kenny relished in her reaction.

After a moment, he decided to grant her mercy and give her a break. "Talk about an erogenous zone. Hey Wendy, have you ever been able to come just from doing that?"

"Mm, no. Trust me, it's been tried, many...many times. It just really gets me going."

Kenny ran his hands down the side of her hips, his fingertips slipping under the hem of her panties.

"May I?"

She nodded and lifted her hips. He made quick work of removing her panties. When he balled them up in his hand to toss over by her bra, he felt a warm wetness. He smiled and scooted back so that he could lie down on his stomach, between her legs.

"I guess it really does get you going. The evidence proved your hypothesis."

As he moved his arms so that they were wrapped around her thighs, he swore he heard Wendy moan. He raised his eyebrow. Did she really…? For that? He decided to try it again, just to make sure he hadn't been hearing things.

"Uh, the analysis is pretty solid, but I still need to write a long, thorough discussion of the results."

"Fuuuck…" Wendy clearly moaned. "Now you're speaking my language," she said with a grin.

Apparently Wendy Testaburger didn't like dirty talk in bed—she liked nerdy talk. Kenny didn't have time to think in any depth about this newly discovered information, but it made him further question how she had been with Stan for so long.

"That's all I got," he laughed. He kissed her inner thigh and smiled against her skin. "But now I'll show you how to speak my language."

"Oh my god, you're so corn-nghhhhh."

Kenny slowly ran his tongue up between the wet folds of her pussy, delighting in her inability to finish her sentence. He buried his face between her legs, lapping gently at her clit. He knew she was already quite aroused, but he wanted to gauge her reactions before he just went at one hundred percent.

He looked up from his position to find Wendy with her eyes closed. Her breathing was slow and full, like she was sighing with each exhale. Her hands casually kneaded at her breasts, the index finger and thumb of each hand occasionally pinching a nipple and giving it a little tug. He kept his eyes fixed on her as he began to flick the tip of his tongue across her clit. Her breaths grew a little faster. Her thighs began to move ever-so-slightly against his arms as she subtly rolled her hips.

Kenny closed his eyes and focused on the feel of her pussy in his mouth—her warm wetness, her scent, her taste.

Wendy's hand slid down her stomach and stroked the top of Kenny's head. Her fingers grabbed at his hair, tugging slightly. She pressed down with her hand while she continued to roll her hips. Kenny moaned at the sensation. He decided to give in to Wendy, letting her take control while he enjoyed the ride. He heard her grow from quietly whimpering to full, throaty moaning. He felt her thighs twitch and tremble as she roughly ground her clit against his tongue.

After a few minutes, Wendy abruptly stopped. She let go of Kenny's hair and tapped her hands on his arms. He pulled his mouth away and relaxed his grip around her thighs. She wiggled out of his grasp and sat up.

Confused, Kenny pulled himself up onto his knees and cocked his head to the side. "Is something wrong? Are you finished? Did you come already?" he asked.

Wendy stood up off the floor and walked around her bed to her nightstand.

"Nope, to all three," she replied. "I've never been able to come from oral."

Kenny watched her as she swiftly opened the middle drawer, reached in, and pulled out a few items. Walking back to their spot on the floor, he noticed that she was carrying a condom packet, a bottle of lube, and something else that Kenny couldn't get a good look at.

"I can only orgasm when I'm on top, and when I have this with me." She held up a tube of lipstick. "And trust me when I say that you'll know when it happens."

"Lipstick? I don't really get why you need that to come."

"You'll see," she said. She tossed the condom packet at him. "Put it on and get on your back."

"Yes, miss!"

While he followed her orders, he watched as she opened the lube, squirted a dollop onto her fingers, and rubbed them over her clit. She then opened the lipstick and placed the cover and the lube bottle on her desk before returning to Kenny. She knelt down next to him and threw her leg over his body so that she was straddling his hips, facing him. She took his cock in her hand and lined it up to her entrance.

Kenny watched as Wendy gradually lowered her hips down to meet his own. Watching his cock slowly disappear inside of her was torture. He so badly wanted to thrust up into her. He wanted that immediate relief. However, he also had known Wendy for years, and he had a feeling that when she was on top, she was firmly in control. He held back on his urges and let her show him what she needed.

She leaned down to kiss Kenny, gently rocking her hips back and forth as she got used to the feeling of him inside of her.

"Ready?" she asked.

"You said you wanted fun. Well, call me your plaything," he grinned.

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Okay, seriously. Yes, Wendy. I'm ready. I want you to feel good."

She nodded. The lipstick started to buzz and Kenny finally understood. She pressed it between her legs as she began to roll her hips up and down.

It didn't take long for her to start moaning again, and as she found a steady rhythm, they became louder and louder. He understood why Wendy would want to fuck on the floor if she had a squeaky bed, but he found it ironic that she thought that the music was loud enough to drown out her moans. No, these weren't moans anymore. These were screams. Kenny's face flushed in embarrassment. It was almost too obscene, even for him.

She used her free hand to roughly grab at one of his wrists and pull his hand to her chest. She placed his palm against one of her breasts, covering his hand with hers and kneading her hand into his. He quickly got the hint. As he took over massaging her breast, he brought his other hand up to the other one, but she then guided that hand down to her hip.

"Squeeze...please!" she said loudly in between pants.

Kenny did as he was told, digging his fingers into her soft flesh. He began to flex his own pelvis muscles, thrusting up just a little to meet her when she thrust down. He felt his own pleasure begin to build. Her movements became erratic as it looked like she was nearing climax. He just had to hold back until she got hers. The goal was showing Wendy a good time, and he still stood by that.

Wendy hadn't been lying when she said he would know when she was going to come. She took her free hand and clutched at his forearm in front of her. She squeezed so hard that it started to hurt, and he decided that he wouldn't be surprised if he had some light bruising in the morning. Her thighs began to tremble, and within a few seconds, she reached the summit.

"Yes yes yes! Fuck me, Kyle! Fuck me!"

Kenny sat against the wall. One leg was stretched out, the other bent at the knee. His head was rolled back, looking up at the ceiling. The used condom dangled loosely from his flaccid cock. He hadn't yet bothered to clean up.

Wendy was curled into a ball under her desk. Her head was buried in hands and knees and it sounded like she was chanting something muffled that Kenny couldn't quite make out.

It had been like this for a couple of minutes.

Kenny sighed and started to get up onto his feet. "Well, I'm going to go clean up, I guess," he said to himself as he headed into her personal bathroom. He knew that Wendy couldn't hear him right now.

He had gotten his, but it had maybe been the weirdest orgasm of his entire life. When Wendy came, she had continued to slam her hips down around him as her pelvic wall tightened up. That was enough to send him over the edge. However, he hadn't expected her to scream out another guy's name while in the throes of ecstasy. That put the entire moment in a weird context, and ultimately ruined the experience.

Once he was cleaned up, he walked back into Wendy's room. He noticed that she had moved from her previous location. Now she was sitting on the floor next to her bed, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her arms hugging them tight. She was just sort of staring into the middle distance. She didn't say anything as he walked past her and took back his seat against the wall.

"So...do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.

Wendy sat silent and unblinking.

Kenny let the silence sit between them for the second time that night. After about ten minutes of it, he just couldn't bear it anymore. He got up and walked over to his pile of discarded clothes to get dressed.

"Well...thank you for...this." He cringed as the words came out of his mouth. "I guess I'll get out of here and let you get some sleep." He headed for her bedroom door. "See you around."

"Wait."

He stopped with his hand on the doorknob. He turned around and saw Wendy looking at him.

"Please don't go." Her eyes dropped to the floor in front of her. "I don't want to be alone right now."

Kenny stared back at her. She was still naked, curled up into that ball. She looked so vulnerable. He dropped his hand from the doorknob.

"Okay. I'll stay as long as you need me to."

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Kenny looked around the room, uncertain of what he should do in this situation. He looked at her bed and got an idea. He walked around her and pulled the perfectly pressed blanket off of her bed. Maybe she'd be pissed at him later, but he felt that it was the right thing to do right now.

He moved over to where she was sitting and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. She hummed quietly, letting go of her knees to grab the edges of the blanket and pull them fully around her body.

"Thank you...again," she said. "Please sit down." She reached out a hand and patted it on the carpet next to her.

"I hate feeling humiliated," she said once Kenny was sitting next to her.

"That's understandable," he said. "I'm sorry that you're feeling that way."

Wendy nodded. "Yeah. So am I." She sighed. "You know...that's the real reason I'm so upset about Stan. Cause of the humiliation that can come with a break-up, especially of a long-term relationship. And especially when the one doing the breaking up is one of the captains of the football team. And especially when that captain of the football team also is notorious for getting drunk and acting a fool at social events."

Kenny pursed his lips and nodded slowly. That certainly was Stan.

"So...you're not actually upset that he broke up with you then?" asked Kenny.

Wendy was quiet for a moment. "No. I'm not," she whispered. She pulled the blanket up over her head and wrapped it around herself like a cloak. "Honestly, it's probably one of the best things that's happened to me so far this year. Because I can't stop thinking about Kyle."

"Please don't hate me for asking this, but...you didn't actually cheat on Stan with Kyle...right?"

Wendy's face flushed. "No. No, I didn't. But...I did think about it. Only in fantasy, though. I never actually came up with some plan to seduce Kyle while I was still with Stan. Just...when I was fooling around with Stan, I was imagining I was with Kyle. When I was masturbating, I was imagining that I was fucking Kyle. When Stan said he was breaking up with me because I cheated on him with Kyle, for a moment I thought that he had been able to read my mind, or that maybe I had said something about him in my sleep."

"So when did you realize you weren't in love with Stan anymore?"

"Never. I still love him. It's just...I don't think we're right for each other, in the end. I have so much more in common with Kyle, and we've been having a really strong connection recently. Kyle has ambition. He has a plan for what he wants to do after high school, and I love that. I need to be with someone who can keep up with me after high school, in college and in our careers. Stan...he doesn't seem to have any drive. I think he still thinks that he'll be able to play college ball and then get drafted by a professional team, play for a few seasons, and then live off of that money for the rest of his life."

Wendy closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. "I always believed that he must have some drive and passion in him somewhere, but whenever I'd try to bring it up, he'd get pissy at me. So eventually...I just got tired of fighting the gut feeling that we aren't a good match anymore. I'm just lucky that Stan was the one who did the breaking up. I don't think I'd have ever had the courage to actually go through with it, for fear of hurting him. But now I'm free to finally ask out Kyle. And I'm nervous...but really excited."

Kenny noticed that at some point while she was talking, she had begun to cry. Her eyes were shiny and bloodshot, and there were tear streaks running down her cheeks. She had had a rough day and he decided it was time for her to finally get some rest.

"Come on. Let's get you into bed," said Kenny. He helped Wendy up off the floor and up into her bed.

"Can you please stay the night?" she sniffed. "I could really use some cuddling tonight...if you're okay with that."

Kenny smiled. "I would love to cuddle with you, Miss Testaburger."

Kenny curled up behind Wendy under the covers. He wrapped one arm around her waist and used the other to stroke her hair.

"Thank you again, Kenny."

"You're welcome. So...friends again?"

"Yeah. Friends again."