Chapter 9: The call
Hold on, this one is much longer, but things are moving fast!
In the following weeks, Anna found her new job to be really excruciating. The retirement home was critically under-staffed, so the amount of work was tremendous. As a beginning nurse with no experience, she often made mistakes and lost time, and the other members of staff had no time to help her. Some days she felt she was barely holding on. When she got home in the evening, it was all she could do to craft dinner before falling asleep on the couch. She felt it was more and more difficult to get out of bed in the mornings. She had never felt that exhausted before. Of course Alex didn't make it easier as he complained every day that the chores were not done properly, or that she was not available to him whenever he wanted.
She managed to hold on for about three months, at which point she started worrying because not only were things not improving, but she even started feeling nauseous in the mornings. She overlooked it for a few days, putting it on the anxiety she was feeling about the incoming day's work. But when it did not stop on her days off when she should have felt less anxious, she became really nervous. Her next day off was a Saturday. Alex had run off on a motorbike tour with some friends. She lay curled up on the couch under a blanket, trying to sip in a mug of tea without running to the bathroom to give it back. When she finally managed to get up and get dressed, she went down the street to the nearby pharmacy.
Half an hour later, Anna was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, stunned, staring blankly at the positive pregnancy test she was holding in her hand. It finally fell off her hand, and she put her head in her hands while resting her elbows on her knees. Panic was flooding her and tears started rolling down her cheeks. Why was this happening to her, and now of all times? She hadn't even missed her last period. She was taking a birth control pill, and she was positive that she hadn't forgotten any in the last three months. Anger rose through her over the unfairness of the situation, and she suddenly banged her fist on the nearby furniture, out of frustration. Couldn't bad luck ever leave her alone! How could she deal with a pregnancy now, just when she was preparing to leave Alex… Should she even tell him? And what about John? Oh God she would never be able to look him in the eyes again… She thought the only people in the world she could confide into right now where Gwen and Mary.
She texted them on Whatsapp:
*I need to see you both ASAP.
Urgent matter. When can we meet?*
Mary answered a few minutes later:
*Sorry I'm at my parents' all day.
Is tomorrow OK,
or is it really that urgent?*
*No, tomorrow's ok*
Gwen suggested:
*Tomorrow at 10
Brunch at my place?*
*OK*, answered both the other girls
*Are U alright Anna?*
asked Gwen.
*Yeah, I'll tell you tomorrow.*
She spent the day in a sort of daze, unable to focus her thoughts for more that a few seconds straight. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream out loud, to curl into a ball under her blanket, and above all she wanted to run out to John, nestle into his arms and listen to him telling her that everything would be fine. Obviously the last option was out of question. She would never bear the shame of going to the man she loved so deeply, and tell him that she had just got pregnant with the man she was about to leave. She also feared Alex's reaction if she told him. He had never mentioned anything to her about having kids, and she believed he would not particularly welcome any change that would make her any less available to him and his own needs.
She had cried herself to sleep when Alex came home that night from his day out. She suddenly woke up to the feeling of his hands creeping underneath her clothes and trying to undress her. She jerked awake and ran for the bathroom where she threw up what little food she had managed to eat in the day. Was the sickness due to the pregnancy or to Alex's behavior she couldn't tell, but she was grateful that it provided her a very acceptable excuse to put him off for once. She came back to the bed and curled up under the blanket:
- Sorry Alex, I've been ill all day, you should stay clear if you don't want to catch it…
- Oh… Alright, yeah, maybe I'll go sleep in the spare room then.
- Good idea.
Yes, that sudden sickness really was convenient. She could at least try to sleep in peace.
When she got up next morning, she noticed that Alex had gone out again, without leaving any mention of where he was or when he'd be back. To hell with him, she thought, and started getting ready to join Mary and Gwen.
Gwen had prepared a nice brunch, but the smell of scrambled eggs and sausages just made Anna feel sick again.
- So, started Mary, in her usual down-to-earth tone, what was that urgent matter you needed us for?
Anna looked down in her mug of tea, as she felt a large lump forming in her throat. Telling it to someone else somehow made the problem very much real… She sighed and started:
- Girls… I'm in major trouble… And I really don't know what to do.
After waiting for the rest of the information for a few seconds, Gwen pressed her:
- So? What is it? Come on, spit it out!
Noticing her friend's deep embarrassment, Mary hinted:
- Anna Smith, don't tell me you've gotten yourself pregnant!
Anna nodded and started sobbing, hiding her face in her hands. Gwen choked on her pancake:
- Nooooo! Anna?! You're kidding right? Oh Lord you're serious…
Gwen and Mary exchanged a desperate look. After letting her cry out for a moment, Mary gently put her hand on Anna's wrist, and asked:
- But how did this happen? Weren't you using some kind of birth control?
- Of course I was! I was on the pill! And no, I didn't forget any! I'm sure I didn't! she said forcefully.
Mary sighed:
- Ah well, you know what they say… None is 100% reliable.
- Oh crap… added Gwen.
- Why me? Why now for heaven's sake! lamented Anna.
- Yes, tell me about a weird sense of timing…
- Life's never simple is it… sighed Anna, wiping her tears.
- Have you told Alex? asked Gwen.
- Not yet. I only just found out yesterday.
- What do you want to do?
- That's the thing, I don't know! I haven't been able to think straight all of yesterday. I'm out of my mind…
Mary put down her tea mug and delicately dabbed her lips with her towel.
- Well I'm sorry if I sound heartless or anything, but don't you think the wisest thing would be not to tell him anything and terminate this pregnancy as soon as possible?
Anna closed her eyes and rubbed her fingertips on her eyelids.
- Of course that would be. But the wisest thing is not necessarily the easiest thing.
- I'm not saying that. But what's the alternative? Telling him you're carrying his child but you don't want to keep it? Having his child and stay with him?
- Lord no, I can't stay with him, he'll drive me crazy.
- Then having his child means that he will have a right to keep in contact with you for the next twenty years…
Anna winced at that thought. Gwen added:
- And what about John? Do you intend to go and tell him "alright I'm in love with you but I'm having my ex's kid, hope you're OK with that"? Do you think he'll fancy the situation?
Anna blushed:
- I could never tell him that… I'd be so ashamed…
- Well that's it, concluded Mary. What else can you do?
- I know… Oh God I never thought I'd have to do that…
After a few minutes silence, Gwen looked at her, somewhat puzzled:
- I'm sorry Anna, but there's something I don't get. You are preparing to leave Alex. And whatever you tell us you are obviously in love with John Bates. So… why would you still want to have sex with Alex?!
Anna looked down, quite embarrassed at that question, and answered in a barely audible voice:
- Do you think I have much choice in the matter…
Gwen startled at her answer and put her hand on Anna's:
- Are you telling us that he's forcing you?
- He's still my boyfriend! How can I refuse him day after day?
- Anna, darling, cut Mary in serious tone, you do know how we call it when one person is coerced into sex and doesn't have the choice to say no?
Anna looked up to her, shocked by what she was implying:
- What? No, Mary, come on, it's not like that…
- Oh yes? How is it then, tell me? You just said yourself that you didn't have much choice in the matter! Those are your words, aren't they?
Anna looked at her blankly for a moment. Realization slowly crept into her, and she suddenly felt sick again.
- Excuse me, she whispered before fleeing to the bathroom.
Left alone, Gwen and Mary looked at each other, frowning:
- Shit, what a mess, sighed Gwen.
- Tell me about it. If she goes for termination, maybe one of us should go with her to the appointments. She'll need the support.
- Yeah, you're right.
As Anna came back from the bathroom, Gwen took her hand and led her towards the couch. She sat down and opened her arms, gesturing for Anna to come close to her.
- Come on Anna, come cuddle.
Anna sat down next to her friend and rested her head on Gwen's shoulder. She stayed there for a moment, silently weeping. After a while, she straightened, wiped her face, and sighed:
- I'm so sorry girls, I'm making quite the show. It's just… it's hard on a Sunday morning to realize that your boyfriend's been raping you all along. God I can't believe I wasted almost ten years of my life with him…
- I'm sorry Anna, said Mary, I'm sorry if my words sounded harsh. I didn't mean to hurt you but I think it was important that you came to terms with what he's doing to you.
- No, no, you're right. Still it's hard. I thought I loved him. And I thought he loved me. He kept telling me he did, but I just don't think he knows what it is to love someone. His way of loving is more like "owning". But I know now that I'm not a thing he can own. Not anymore.
Mary smiled at her and squeezed her hand.
- So? What about the pregnancy?
- I guess you're both right. There's no way I can manage this situation. I'll call the clinic tomorrow and make an appointment. I don't really want to, but I see no other way out of this shit.
- I'll come with you, suggested Gwen.
Anna smiled sadly at her.
- Thanks. You're the best of friends, you too, you know that? But please, she added, don't tell a word to John when you see him at Downton. I'll have to tell him, but later, when it's over.
- Alright, sure, no problem, answered the two girls.
A week later, John was coming back from his lunch break on his usual bench in Downton's park. He had kept that habit, whenever the weather was good enough, to eat out there, in memory of all the good days when he had shared the bench with Anna. He now ate on his own. He had not heard from Anna since her last messages announcing her graduation. He would have liked to have news, to ask her how she was coping with her new job. But they had agreed that she would be the one to get in touch, so he just waited. He was confident that their time would come. He just wished it came sooner. Walking down the hallway in Downton's unit, he passed in front of Mary's office, whose door was ajar. He heard Mary and Gwen chatting inside.
- Did you hear from Anna? asked Mary
- Yes, she texted me, she made an appointment next Tuesday.
- I still can't believe she got pregnant now. Tell me about bad timing.
John, who was passing by without the intention of eavesdropping, froze in his tracks. All air seemed to have left his lungs. Had he heard right?
- Yeah, I think she deserves the award for the worst timing of all times, continued Gwen. Anyway, I'm going with her since I'm off on Tuesday.
John quickly went away, not wanting them to discover him listening to their conversation. His heart was racing and he could feel cold sweat on his brow. Could he have been mistaken? Maybe they knew another Anna? Stupid man, he scolded himself, of course they were talking about his Anna. Oh Lord… Had she changed her mind about leaving her boyfriend? He felt like a robot managing his duties until the evening. His co-workers wondered why he was so unusually distracted and silent. When he finally got home that evening, he could not think about anything else. And of course he could discuss the news with no one since he wasn't even supposed to know about it…
On the following Tuesday, Gwen and Anna met outside the clinic just before the appointment. Anna looked tense and nervous.
- How are you feeling, asked her friend, putting a sympathetic hand on her arm.
- Not good. I so don't want to be there. But I have no choice. I'm sick of having no choice.
- I know love. I'm really sorry you have to face that. This is so unfair.
Anna sighed.
- Well, anyway, let's go. It's nearly time, she said with a dark look on her face.
Twenty minutes later, Anna and Gwen were sitting in the doctor's office. When Anna had explained her request, the doctor asked:
- Do you know how far along you are, approximately?
- That's the thing, I don't! I had my last period about three weeks ago, so that doesn't make any sense. But I've been exhausted for several weeks, and now I have had morning sickness for two weeks.
-Alright, then we'll have to do a sonogram in order to assess the pregnancy's age. Would you follow me, Miss Smith.
When Anna was settled for the sonogram, and the doctor had put the device on, she asked:
- Do you want me to show you the pictures or not?
Anna hesitated a moment, then whispered:
-Please, no.
She felt that if she saw something that looked remotely like a baby she would never be able to carry on. The doctor went on with the exam, took measurements, then concluded:
- Alright, Miss Smith, you are twelve weeks pregnant. That's almost three months.
Anna gasped in shock:
- Three months?! But how is that even possible?! I didn't miss any period!
- You told me you were on a birth control pill? Sometimes those pills can provoke something that looks like "fake period" event though a pregnancy is going on.
- Oh Lord…
They went back to the desk. When Anna was seated, Gwen squeezed her hand in sympathy. The doctor folded her hands on the desk and asked:
- So, Miss Smith. What do you intend to do with this pregnancy?
Anna closed her eyes, battling the tears that were threatening to spill out.
- I have to terminate.
- Have you discussed it with your partner?
- No. I haven't. We are in the midst of breaking up.
- I see. But even though, don't you think he deserves to know about that? It's his child too after all?
- No, believe me he doesn't deserve, exclaimed Gwen.
- I'm afraid that's not for you to say, Miss, frowned the doctor.
- Her partner is an abusive jerk! Gwen went on heatedly.
- Gwen, please! hissed Anna, alarmed.
- Oh, said the doctor, turning back to look at Anna. Is this true Miss Smith? Are you victim of domestic abuse?
Anna looked down and flushed.
- Yes, I am, she muttered. But I'm in the process of leaving, and that is exactly why I can't keep this pregnancy!
- Alright, I understand.
- Believe me this is not what I want to do. I had no idea the pregnancy was so far along. But I have to.
- It is your decision to make. I can give you an appointment for termination next week. You'll have to stay the whole day at the clinic.
- Alright, sighed Anna.
- And, if I may suggest, she added handing her a card, this is the card of our social worker. If you want to meet her, she can inform you on what help you can get to get away.
Anna looked blankly at the card. So that was it. She was that woman. That victim, to be pitied, and handed a social worker's card. She hated herself for becoming that woman. While she kept looking at her knees, Gwen took the card and said:
- Thank you doctor.
When they had left the doctor's office, having secured the appointment for the following week, Gwen took Anna to a tea shop to give her time to talk it over. Toying with her tea mug, Anna kept sniffing and wiping her cheeks.
- You know, when I was young, I always pictured being pregnant as a happy thing. I saw myself in love, hoping, then sharing the news with my husband or partner or whatever, and we would cheer together, and we'd be happy. It was nothing like that! Now I'm being given a social worker's card for God's sake!
- Yeah, life sucks sometimes, nodded Gwen.
- It really does! exclaimed Anna, furiously wiping her eyes. I'm really sick of all this shit.
- But hey, maybe that scene you describe is waiting for you down the road. You know, with another man, hinted Gwen with a knowing smile.
Anna couldn't help but smile too at that thought.
- Yeah. If he still wants me after all.
- I'm pretty sure he does.
- Come on, let's go home. I'm wasted. I've got to get some sleep if I want to face work tomorrow.
For days, John had been brooding over what he had overheard in Mary's office. He had trouble getting his head wrapped around the fact. Anna was pregnant. When she had seriously hinted only a few weeks earlier that she was still interested in him. He felt completely lost as to what to believe. From what Mary had said about bad timing, he assumed that the pregnancy had been unplanned. Just that thought made him feel slightly better, because if it had been planned, it would have shattered all his hopes away. But what was she going to do now? Would she stay with her boyfriend and have his child? And what if she left Alex, and came to him instead, asking him to take her and the child? What if Anna, the woman he loved above all, came with family? It was a big thing to take over another man's child. Especially from that evil man who mistreated her. But then the child was not responsible for its father's deeds. Raising another man's child… Was he ready to do that, for Anna's sake? He couldn't deny that he would prefer one of his own… Then again, if the alternative was between having Anna and her child, or not having Anna at all… well they would have to make the best of what they had… Maybe she would just go for an abortion. It did seem like the most logical solution. But that was never an easy thing for a woman. Oh God how it hurt to think of her having to go through all this on her own and not being able to do anything to help her. He couldn't even talk to her, comfort her or support her. He had no say in the matter. He felt so helpless and useless.
All day after the clinic appointment, the doctor's words had turned into Anna's head. "Doesn't he deserve to know about that? After all, it is his child too." Did he? Should she tell Alex? It would probably make things even more complicated for her. But she had still in her a bit of ill-placed loyalty to Alex that compelled her to tell him the truth. Gwen and Mary would scold her for doing it, but she felt she had to. That night when Alex came back from work, she took a deep breath and went for it.
- Alex?
- Yeah?
- There's something I need to tell you.
- Hmmm? he said distractedly while he was putting the TV on.
- I'm pregnant.
- What? But… weren't you on the pill?
- Yes I was. Seems it bugged.
- So… What are you gonna do? Do you want to keep it or what?
- I don't know…
- Well I'm not paying for daycare, that's for sure.
And with that he went to the kitchen to fetch himself a beer. Anna stood stunned by the lack of support and of any emotional implication on his part. Alright, so it seemed he didn't care at all if she chose to have his child or not, as long as he didn't have to pay… That was classy. She served dinner and excused herself to the bedroom, pretending she was not hungry. She needed to get away from him.
In the following days, Alex didn't mention the topic anymore. It seemed he didn't feel concerned at all by the matter. If possible his lack of reaction confused her even more. If he really didn't care at all, maybe she could leave with the baby and he wouldn't go after her? The more the day of the termination appointment came close, the more she felt terrible about it. A protective instinct had grown inside her that made it awfully difficult to acknowledge that termination was indeed the right thing to do. She felt like running away with the baby to protect it from its abusive father. But when he saw that she was leaving, wouldn't Alex go out of his way and pretend to care about the child only to make her life more difficult? She wouldn't put it past him to do that kind of thing. Maybe the best way to protect this child from its father was precisely not to have it. Then she thought again about John. How could she ask him to begin a relationship with another man's child between them? Oh Lord this was a nightmare… She came to think that things would be easier if she could just miscarry. Then the decision would not be hers to make… Alone in the dark bedroom, she started talking to the unborn child. "I'm so sorry little one. I love you and I would really really like to have you. But things are really too complicated for me right now. I couldn't give you what you deserve. I hope you can forgive me. And I hope in time I can forgive myself".
It was nearly midnight when Anna woke up to a sharp pain in her lower belly. She got up and went to the bathroom to get a painkiller, and filled a hot water bag to lay on her abdomen. She then went back to bed, trying to concentrate on her breathing in order to go back to sleep. But in the next half hour, the pain only got worse, and she suddenly felt that she started bleeding. She reached to Alex and tried to shake him awake.
- Alex! Alex! she called urgently.
He didn't move. She shook him harder.
- What… he moaned, half asleep.
- Please, could you drive me to the hospital, I'm bleeding, and I'm in pain!
- Oh crap… come on Anna, can't you wait till the morning? I'm sleeping, I have to work tomorrow!
- No I bloody well can't! she argued before whimpering in pain. And I'm supposed to work tomorrow too you know!
Alex sighed heavily and reluctantly got up and started to look for his clothes.
They took the twenty minutes drive to the hospital in complete silence. Anna was curled up on the passenger's seat, trying to manage the pain without throwing up. Not once did Alex inquire about her or offer a sympathetic word. When he had stopped in front of the A&E entrance, he said:
- There you are.
He made no move to get out of the car. Anna looked at him, bewildered.
- That's it? You're not coming with me?
- No. I have to get some sleep. I have an important meeting tomorrow morning.
Anna couldn't quite believe her ears. She slowly turned away from him, got out of the car, and started walking towards the door, bent over with the pain. Alex drove away without even waiting for her to disappear into the building. He did not see her fainting and collapsing right in front of the door. Fortunately some A&E staff who were taking a cigarette break outside managed to catch her before she crumbled to the floor.
The rest of the night passed in a sort of daze for Anna. She was quickly taken into care. Her clothes were taken off and she was put into a hospital gown. Her vital signs were checked, an IV line put on her, stronger painkillers injected. A doctor came in and performed a sonogram. After studying her belly for a few minutes, he turned to her and announced:
- I'm sorry Miss Smith, but you are having a miscarriage. The fetus's heart is no longer beating and the expulsion process has started. It will probably last a few hours, so we are going to keep you under observation until it is over. You will soon be taken to the gynecology ward. She started sobbing, and the doctor, embarrassed, awkwardly squeezed her hand.
- I'm sorry Miss. I guess there is no good way to tell that kind of news, and no easy way to receive it. Are you alone? he asked, scanning the hallway for a potential spouse. Is your partner around?
She shook her head, still sobbing.
- No, I have no partner.
- Oh. Sorry. Well, you will be moved to a room soon. The painkillers should start to be effective in about fifteen minutes. Hang on.
- Thank you.
- Goodbye Miss Smith.
At 7.30 am on his day off, John Bates was slowly waking up at home, when his phone started ringing. It seldom did, and he didn't recognize the incoming number. He picked up, hoping it was not some tiresome salesperson.
- Hello?
- Hello sir, are you John Bates?
- Himself.
- I am Nurse Wilkins from York's Royal University Hospital. I am calling to inform you that Miss Anna Smith will be discharged this morning from the gynecology ward, and you can come collect her from about 9 o'clock.
John gaped, at a loss for words.
- Sir? called the nurse.
- Er, yes, sorry, I don't understand.
- Miss Smith has spent the night in our unit, and she will be discharged this morning. I asked her who I could call to come pick her up, and she gave me your name and number. Is this alright with you?
John's brain was buzzing with information. He stuttered:
- Hmm, yes, sure, OK. Gynecology ward you say? Alright, I'm coming.
- Thank you. Goodbye Mr Bates.
And she hung up. John stood motionless on the edge of his bed for several minutes, trying to process what had just happened. Anna had called for him. Then he lingered on the fact that she had spent the night in the hospital, and he worried for her, hoping it was not too serious. Surely it had something to do with her pregnancy… Anyway. She had called for him, so he got up, and started getting dressed.
Little did he know that this trip to the hospital would change his life forever.
At 8.30, John was sitting in the armchair in Anna's room, watching her sleep. His chest tightened at how exhausted she looked. When he had entered the room, he had fought the urge to go and take her in his arms, because he didn't want to wake her up. So he had silently sat in the armchair and started waiting.
She finally started stirring. Her eyes still closed, she moaned and moved her hand to press on her lower belly. Her eyes started flickering open, and she looked at her surroundings, until her gaze came across John's large figure sitting in the armchair. She startled, and put herself up on her elbow. Looking utterly stunned, she muttered:
- John? But… what the hell are you doing here?
- I was rather hoping that you would explain that to me… he answered with a bemused smile.
- What?
She looked completely lost.
- A nurse called me this morning, telling me that Miss Smith was being discharged from the hospital, and that she had asked for me to come and collect her.
Anna looked even more confused at his explanation.
- Really?! Shit, I did that? I must have been high on morphine, because I don't remember having said that at all!
John frowned, and hesitantly asked:
- So… are you not glad to see me? Do you want me to leave?
- No! No! Of course not! she answered heatedly. It was so kind of you so come at such short notice. I can never thank you enough.
- Well, you know, like I said, "call me when you need me". You needed me, you called, I came. It's as simple as that.
- But still. Thank you so much for coming.
She sat herself on the edge of the bed, wincing as she moved. She held out her hand in his direction. He smiled and took it, then slowly brought it to his mouth, where he softly kissed its back.
- I am so very glad that you called me.
- I am so very glad that you came.
She looked down and sighed.
- I guess I have some explaining to do now.
John put his hand under her chin and gently made her look up until they were eyes to eyes.
- I know. I know what happened. Well, at least, part of it. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't, but I overheard Mary and Gwen talking about you at Downton.
- Oh man, those girls! I told them to be discreet!
- Sorry… Anyway, I heard them saying that you were pregnant.
- Yeah. I was. Then last night… Well anyway now I'm not.
- Oh. I'm so sorry Anna.
They sat in silence for a few moments, until she looked up at him again, with a pleading look in her tears-filled eyes.
- It was an accident you know? I never wanted to get pregnant from Alex! Since I started working I've been saving money to leave him. As a matter of fact, I had an appointment tomorrow for an abortion. I knew it was the only way out. You believe me, do you?
- Of course I do!
- I actually wished for this to happen, just yesterday… I should feel relieved really. I never wanted this pregnancy in the first place.
Tears started to flow on her cheeks.
- So I don't understand why it hurts so much, why I feel so bad, so… empty. Like a hollow shell…
As she sobbed more and more, John got up and came to sit next to her on the bed, and took her in his arms.
- There, there.
He waited for her to calm down a little bit, then spoke:
- You know, sometimes heart and reason do not agree. Even if your head understands that it's better this way, your heart hurts. Maybe some would call that maternal instinct. Anyway, I think you should allow your heart to mourn the loss of this baby, even if you didn't want it in the first place, and even if you know it is for the best.
- You're probably right, she said, sniffing. Thank you for those words. You don't know how comforting they are.
At this moment, the nurse knocked and came into the room.
- Hello Miss Smith. I see that you are awake. How are you feeling?
- Worn out.
- That doesn't surprise me.
She then turned to acknowledge John's presence:
- You must be Miss Smith's partner. I am sorry for your loss.
John smiled and answered:
- No. I am not her partner. And I have not lost anything. On the contrary, I have gained a great deal today.
The nurse looked confused. Anna took John's hand and looked at him, shyly smiling:
- Yes, he is my partner now.
The nurse's confusion kept growing. They both laughed, and John said:
- Don't worry. Complicated story. Don't mind us.
- Alright, well, anyway, shrugged the nurse. The doctor has given his approval to release you. You can leave. Before you go, please go see our secretary to make a control appointment in about two weeks.
- Alright, I will, thank you Nurse, answered Anna.
- I'll leave you to it, said the nurse while leaving the room.
Anna stood up and looked around for her clothes.
- So, I think I should get dressed.
A few minutes later, she exited the bathroom, wearing her clothes from the previous night. As she started gathering her belongings, John asked:
- Anna? Were you serious before? About me being your partner now?
She stopped and came to face him. She smiled as she said confidently:
- Yes, I am. I am leaving Alex's flat today. I'm done with him. Do you know that yesterday evening, he dropped me off in front of the A&E and left right away, without even making sure I got inside OK? I fainted outside the door for God's sake, I would've hurt my head badly if it wasn't for the staff who were smoking outside and caught me. And now, he hasn't even called nor texted to ask for news! I could be dead for all he knows, and he doesn't seem to give a damn! Man I should have done that months ago. Years ago!
- Don't dwell on that. You're doing it now, that is what counts. So, where do you want me to drive you? I would happily bring you back to my place, but I'm guessing you are not ready for that.
Anna smiled. How could she be so lucky as to have met such a considerate man. Those were such rarities.
- No, you're right, I'm not. I'm afraid we are going to have to take it slowly. I hope you don't mind.
- I'll be patient, and bear anything. Except for you to go away again, he answered, hugging her close.
She responded to his hug, circling his waist with her arms, and resting her head on his chest.
- No, I'm done with that. You're stuck with me now, she said.
- Good. I've waited for you for more that two years, so I think it's safe to say that I'm OK with taking the slow path.
She smiled against his chest.
- Thank you.
- So, where are we going?
- I have to go back to Alex's first. I need to shower, I need to sleep. Then I need to pack my things and leave. I guess I'll crash at Gwen's. Oh God, I'm homeless, she realized.
- Come on, everything will be alright now. I'm sure Gwen doesn't mind.
- I know she doesn't, she already offered it several weeks ago. But still, I don't like to be a burden to her.
- That's what friends are for Anna. You know, "we find out what we're made of, when we are called to help our friends in need". Maybe you'll return her the favor one day.
Anna smiled.
- I hope I can.
- So? Let's go?
- Alright, but, before we go, there's one last thing I need to ask you.
- Yes?
- Will you kiss me please?
John's face brightened up in joy, as he cupped her cheek with a trembling hand.
- I'd be very happy to…
All hurt melted away, and they both felt like a heavy weight lifted off their chests as their mouths found each other in that so-long-awaited-for kiss. They felt light, warmth and joy flooding their veins, as they were at last able to let the flame of their love burn freely. When they finally parted, Anna chuckled and said:
- I'm sorry, this was not my idea of a perfect first date.
- No problem, we'll have time to make up for that. Today is only the beginning.
- Yes. Yes it is. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Of our lives.
She sighed as if she was finally breathing freely for the first time in years. She smiled, grabbed her purse and held out her hand for him to take.
- Come on, let's go.