The demon is itching to get out; screaming at me to do something, but what can I do?

I pace the hospital hallway frantically, never straying too far from Buffy's door. I can't do a sodding thing to help her and that feeling of helplessness is near enough killing me. If something happens to her of the Bit, I'm tracking down every bloody doctor in this place that could've helped her but didn't, and killing them all slowly and painfully.

And the day started so well. She was hanging out in my crypt, laughing and actually enjoying my company. It was like a sodding dream. But as bloody always, it was too good to be true; she started getting contractions.

The fear in her eyes as her hands shielded the belly that had only just started to expand…

Traffic laws were non-existent on the drive to the hospital. Not that I usually listen to them under regular circumstances, but…

I was ready to flash some fangs in order to get her seen to. Luckily the nurse – Ben? The same sod who outed her to Cardboard? – knew what he was doing and rushed her to see a doctor immediately. During the mad scramble, a bloke who'd gone insane tried to get at her; saying she was glowing green, or some rot like that. Security pulled him back before I bit his head off.

I don't know how I was able to pay attention to anything else other than Buffy, but after that, I couldn't help but notice the increase of crazy folk. Buffy had mentioned them after her previous check-ups, but the sheer number of them was obscene.

Maybe there's a connection to Glory. Maybe not. Don't particularly care at the moment. Buffy and the Bit are all that matters.

I stop pacing and peek through the window into her room. Joyce is sat by her bedside, no doubt reassuring her with motherly intuition. Harris is there too, trying to cheer her up with jokes that are fucking terrible, but they're making her laugh so I let it slide.

Doctor said she had false labour pains. Nothing unusual, but they're holding her overnight for observation, just in case. And though they insist that it happens in a number of pregnancy cases, I can't help but worry that this is a result of the baby formerly being a blob of mystical energy.

Is that why those bloody monks gave it to the Slayer? Because no normal human could carry it? What if they're wrong, and it starts giving her health problems? What if giving birth to it kills her?

Will I be forced to choose between saving the Bit and saving Buffy?

I shake my head to keep my demon down. No, it can't come to that. If there's any hope left on this sodding ball of rock, both Buffy and the Bit will make it out of this alive, even if I don't. I swear it on the Powers That Bloody Be.

Something nudges me on the edge of my senses. I stop pacing and try to listen, but the noises around me make it hard to hear anything else. So, I inhale deeply. I filter out all the usual hospital smells – blood, medicine, whatever the fuck they're serving the patients for dinner – and catch a whiff of something demonic. But it's like no demon I've smelt before.

Whatever it is, it needs killing for the crime of being too close to those I care about.

I'm tempted to go off on my own without telling the Slayer. If I'm lucky, she won't even know I'm gone. But if being in this hellhole of a town has taught me anything, it's that I'm never that lucky. Besides, if I can sense this thing, chances are the Slayer can sense it, too. And she'll be pissed if I go off to kill this nasty without telling her.

Chit will probably insist on coming, too, despite being ordered to stay in bed. Stubborn as a mule, that one.

I sigh and knock on the door, before letting myself in. "We've got a problem, Slayer."

"I know," she says. "My Slayer senses are tingling."

"Well, as much as I'd love to see Spider-Slayer and her Amazing Scoobies in action-"

The Whelp choked on a sudden burst of laughter, and he immediately covered his mouth with his hand. He looks bloody ashamed that he finds one of my jokes funny.

I roll my eyes and continue, "Best leave this one to me, given your condition."

She glares at me, and it's glorious. "My condition?!"

I roll my eyes again. "How many times do we have to go over this, Slayer? The Bit's safety comes first. If you weren't sodding pregnant, I'd let you kill this bloody thing in a heartbeat."

"Language, William," Joyce reminds me.

"Sorry." I duck my head in apology. I keep forgetting to watch my mouth around her.

"Honey, I agree with Spike," she then tells her daughter. "Think about how worried you were earlier when you thought you were going to lose the baby. If you get hurt while fighting-"

"I know, I know." Buffy lets her head fall back onto the pillow, and she sighs. "I just feel so useless."

"You're not useless," I tell her. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, once they let you go you can come back to my crypt and I'll let you kick my arse."

Tears well up in her eyes. Oh sod, I've upset her…

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!" She grabs a handful of tissues and blows her nose between hiccups.

Right, must be her hormones. Bloody hell, and I thought she was hot n' cold before she got pregnant. Now that's a terrifying thought, a Slayer with mood swings. What if she decides to stake me one day? I'll have to watch myself around her. Well, more than I usually do.

I'm about to beat a hasty retreat, when she suddenly asks, "But what if you need backup?"

"I'll be fine, pet."

"Just like you were fine when you were captured by the Initiative? Or when I kicked your butt and dropped a piano on you?" She nods towards her friend. "Take Xander with you."

I think I'm gonna sprain my eyes with the amount of times I've rolled them. "Right, because droopy boy's the best choice to take into a fight."

"Hey!"

"What're you gonna do when you see a demon? Brick-lay them to death?"

"That's enough!" Buffy yells. "You two are gonna work together, or so help me, you won't be leaving this hospital for another week!"

Harris scrambles out of his seat and bolts out the door. I chuckle at his over-the-top exit, until I see the Slayer's face set in stone and I realise she's not bloody joking. I'm out the door faster than Harris.

When we're both in the hallway, Harris lowers his voice and says, "I really don't like you, but Buffy's really scary right now, so how about a truce until we kill this thing?"

"Deal."

We shake hands and go to work.