Rey guided Ben back to their room. He had a haunted look in his eyes – the look he had whenever the Jedi temple was brought up – and it worried her how much it affected him.

She closed the door behind them, sat him down on the cot, and sat next to him.

He put his face in his hands and inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. She had noticed him using his breathing to calm down when he was distressed, and she was relieved that he was using it now.

Rey didn't know if she should talk to him or touch him. She didn't know how to comfort him, so she watched him and waited.

Ben repeated his breathing exercise several times before his breathing returned to a natural pace. He sat up, and even in the dull lighting of their room Rey could see that his eyes were rimmed red. "I'm ready to talk," he said in a rough voice. "I'm ready to tell you the full story of what happened at the temple and with the students who followed me."

"You don't owe me–"

"I know," he said, cutting her off, "but I owe it to myself. I've never talked about this before – with anyone – and I think I need to."

"Okay." Rey touched his arm. "I'm listening."

Ben turned towards her, but he didn't look her in the eye; instead, he took both her hands in his and stared down at them as he talked. "I'm not sure where to start."

"What happened after you defended yourself from Luke?"

His grip on her hands tightened. "I thought I killed him," he said, "and sometimes I still wish I had. I've wanted him dead for a long time, and it's a hard habit to break."

"What happened next?" Rey asked, trying to keep him from getting lost in his negative thoughts.

"The temple exploded," he said in a flat voice.

She tried to keep her voice gentle. "How?"

"I don't know," he said with a bitter laugh. "There was lightning, and part of me thought that I must have caused it but–"

"You've never used Force lightning before," she said, remembering his surprise when she had used it for the first and only time, "but I have. Palpatine uses Force lightning, doesn't he?"

"He does," Ben confirmed, looking up at her. "I don't know how he did it. He wasn't on the planet, even as unstable as I was, I would have noticed. He wasn't there."

"I believe you."

"What does that mean for us?" he asked, biting down on his lip. "If he finds out where the Resistance is, can he destroy them on his own with Force lightning?"

Rey ran her hands up his arms, trying to soothe some of his tension. "If he could, he already would have." She didn't want to cause Ben pain, but she needed more information. "Were all the voices you heard Palpatine?"

Ben gave a short nod.

"And you heard them your whole life?"

He closed his eyes. "As long as I can remember."

Rey moved closer to him and wrapped her arm around his back. "So why didn't he destroy the temple earlier?"

Ben opened his eyes. "I wasn't ready to turn," he said, but there was some doubt in his voice.

Rey held him tighter. "I don't think that's the reason."

Ben's eyes widened. "Then why?"

"I think it's like Snoke," she said, remembering the way he needed the Praetorian Guard to subdue them while he tore into Luke's mind. "Palpatine isn't as powerful as he would like us to believe. He had to have somehow saved up power for years – harnessed it somehow – and then used that power as soon as it was ready."

Ben leaned into her. "You don't think he waited until the time was right?"

Rey shook her ahead. "I don't." If Palpatine had been waiting, he would have waited until Ben was more fully lost to the dark side. She had a sneaking suspicion that Luke had been influenced by Palpatine that night to give Ben the push he needed. "What was Palpatine like when you met him?"

He shuddered. "Powerful."

Rey felt Ben's fear. "When he asked you to kill me, did he seem patient?"

"No."

"I think he's afraid that the two of us are strong enough to beat him."

Ben moved out of her embrace so that he was facing her, and he put his hands on her shoulders. "We're not," he said seriously, sounding both certain and afraid.

"Maybe not when he's at full strength," Rey agreed, "but I think he's afraid we're strong enough to beat him together." They had to be.

Ben tilted his head down, maintaining eye contact. "That's not a risk I'm willing to take."

"Then we don't take that risk," she said, not wanting to risk him having to face Palpatine alone. If she were somehow incapacitated, she wanted him to have support when facing the monster who had poisoned his childhood and stolen the life he could have had. "We're not alone. We have Luke and maybe Finn too."

Ben exhaled slowly. "He won't expect that."

"That's my hope."

"I haven't told you about the other students yet," Ben said, his face pale and drawn.

"It can wait." She didn't like how tired he looked.

"It shouldn't."

"You're exhausted," Rey said. "I'm exhausted. We should rest first."

Ben allowed her to push him down so he was laying on the cot. His feet hung off the end, so he had to bend his knees, which didn't give her much space to lay beside him.

She curled against him and used his chest as a pillow. "Is this okay?" she asked.

"Yes," Ben said, pulling the blanket over them and wrapping his arms around her.

Rey had never been held like this before. She decided that she liked it, and she wanted to savour the moment, but she must have been more tired than she thought because she was unable to stay awake.

…

Awareness slowly returned to Rey. Often when she woke, she jerked awake, startled by a sound, but she knew she was safe in Ben's arms. She could risk not being fully alert.

"Are you sleeping?" Ben whispered.

Their legs had tangled together while sleeping and Ben's knee was digging into her leg, but she didn't want to move. "No," she said, nuzzling against his neck.

"Can I tell you what happened?" he asked, his voice hesitant.

"Yes."

"Three students who had been off planet arrived before I left, and they followed me." His voice was devoid of emotion, but his racing heart revealed how affected he was by this story. "I killed Hennix first." He swallowed. "I had never killed anyone before."

Rey raised her head off his chest and looked up at him. The sight of his watery eyes caused her chest to feel tight. "Was it self-defense?"

Ben nodded. "It was an accident, but an accident I'm responsible for." He pursued his lips. "Tai died next." This time his voice shook from emotion.

It was clear to Rey that he had cared deeply about Tai, that his death had changed him. "How did he die?"

Ben furrowed his brow. "You don't think I killed him?"

Rey sat up and moved his head into her lap. "You would have told me if you had." She ran her hand through his hair.

"Ren – he was the leader of the Knights of Ren. He killed Tai."

"And you killed Ren," she said, realizing that Ren had been his first intentional kill and providing further proof that he hadn't been all that far gone yet.

He clenched his jaw. "I did."

Rey didn't want to push Ben, but he had said he wanted to tell her the full story. "And the third student?"

"I killed Voe next." He closed his eyes. "I wanted to. Don't try to excuse it."

Rey's hand stilled. "I wasn't going to."

He opened his eyes, but didn't look at her. "I understand if you want–"

Rey covered his mouth with her hand. "Don't say that. I want to be with you and learning more about your past won't change that. I know who you were, but more importantly, I know who you are. I won't change my mind."

He nodded, so she removed her hand from his mouth.

"I'm trying to believe you," he said, his voice so quiet she barely heard it.

"Do you think I'm lying?" she asked, worried that he didn't trust her.

"No," he said, causing her to let out a relieved sigh, "I just find it hard to trust that anything good is real."

"I'm real," she said firmly. "This is real. We're real."

...

They took turns getting ready. Ben went first, and it didn't take him long. He came out of the refresher wearing an outfit similar to the day before.

Rey went second. Cleaning up and putting on a tunic, vest, and leggings was easy enough – though her arms felt bare without her wrappings – but she didn't know what to do with her hair.

She let out a frustrated sigh and knocked over her brush.

Ben knocked on the refresher door. "Is everything alright?"

Rey opened the door. "You're going to make fun of me."

"No I won't." Ben pinched his brows together. "What's wrong?"

Rey sighed. "I want my hair out of my face, but I don't know what to do with it."

"Can I help?"

"You want to do my hair?" she asked.

"If that's okay–"

"Yes," she agreed, "you just surprised me."

He took the brush from her and gathered all of her hair to her left side. "I'm going to put it into a simple braid if that's okay."

Rey watched him through the mirror. "That works."

He put her hair into sections. "Alderaan had a lot of traditions when it came to hair, the royal family especially–"

"Are you giving me a royal braid?" Rey asked, concerned about having anything too showy.

Ben laughed. "No, not unless you want one, though my mom would comment." He started braiding her hair close to where he parted it.

"Definitely not," she said. "What type of braid is this?"

"A side braid," he said. The braid now reached the top of her ear. "My mom told me it was a popular style among young women when she showed me how to do it." As he spoke into, his breath brushed against her neck. "And it'll keep your hair out of your face."

Rey couldn't remember anyone doing her hair. It felt nice.

Ben pulled more hair into the braid as he braided past her ear. She handed him her hair tie, and she thought he was done once he wrapped it around the end of her hair, but he started pulling at the braid.

"What are you doing?"

"Loosening the braid makes it look softer," he explained.

She watched him work, and he was right, the braid was looser. The style was different than she was used to, but she liked it. "Thank you."

Ben smiled. "Anytime."

...

No one approached them as they headed to the mess hall for breakfast, but whispers followed them, whispers that increased in volume once Rey grabbed Ben's hand.

She was relieved that he didn't try to take his hand away from hers because it showed that he had been listening to her, that he wasn't going to pull away from her.

He held her hand until they got to the front of the food line and needed two hands to hold their trays. They both got porridge with dried fruit, bread, and caf.

Rey was almost overwhelmed by how full the mess was. In the original timeline Ajan Kloss had never had this many people. She didn't know where they would be welcomed to sit.

"Over there," Ben said, nodding in the direction of Kaydel who was waving at them.

Rey raised her eyebrows and Ben shrugged. She followed him over to Kaydel's table. They put their trays down and sat across from her.

"I didn't introduce myself properly the last time we saw each other," Kaydel said, putting her hand out for Rey to shake. "I'm Lieutenant Connix."

Rey shook her hand. "Rey."

"I know," Kaydel said with a smile. "And you're Ben Solo." She put out her hand for him to shake, which he did stiffly. Kaydel gestured to the man sitting beside her. He had shoulder length grey hair and wore a trench coat. "I'd like to introduce you both to General Ematt."

General Ematt nodded at Rey and Ben. "Kaydel has shared some interesting stories with me. Are they true?"

Rey shared a look with Ben. "What stories?" she asked.

The general leaned forward. "That the two of you can heal with the Force."

"We did," Ben confirmed, "but only once, and we're still learning the limitations."

"Remarkable," General Ematt said.

Paige came over and sat next to Kaydel. "What's remarkable?"

General Ematt gestured at Rey and Ben. "Them healing you."

Paige smiled. "I'm very grateful. We're lucky to have them on our side."

"You've given me a lot to think about," General Ematt said, picking up his tray. He looked at Ben. "We'll talk later."

Rey watched the general leave.

"He's going to give you a chance," Kaydel said to Ben. "That's more than a lot of the High Command is willing to do."

"Thank you," Ben said.

Kaydel shrugged with one shoulder. "I didn't do it for you." She smiled at Paige. "Someone convinced me to help."

"You did the right thing," Paige said.

"Who else is sympathetic?" Rey asked.

Kaydel winced. "Not too many people in the High Command, but some of the lower ranks, mostly those who admire General Organa."

"It's a start," Ben said.

Rey took a bite of her porridge. It had gone cold, but she didn't care. She was too busy thinking about how they could get the Resistance to warm up to Ben.

...

Except for meals, Rey and Ben mostly kept to themselves. They had gotten into the habit of disappearing into the jungle to explore their bond.

Today they were meditating.

Rey hated meditating. After what felt like hours, she opened her eyes and looked at Ben. His eyes were closed, and he looked almost serene. She let out a deep sigh.

The corner of Ben's mouth twitched.

"How can you stand meditating for so long?" she asked.

Ben opened his eyes. "Maybe I find the company calming?"

She picked up a small rock and threw it at him.

He ducked easily and put his hands out in surrender. "Very calming." His smile grew.

Rey stood up. "I'm done for today."

"But it's so peaceful out here."

Rey scoffed. "If you want to keep meditating, you can meditate alone."

"I don't like that option," he said, leaning back on his hands. "What are my other choices?"

"We could go back to the base," Rey said, nodding in the direction they came from.

"And worry about someone losing control and shooting at me?" Ben shook his head. "No thanks."

"I suppose we could stay out here longer, but there are better things we can do than meditate."

"Oh?"

Rey tilted her head. "You know what I mean."

He smiled. "But I want you to say it."

"Come over here and kiss me."

Ben came over to her and pulled her into his arms. "Gladly." He leaned down and kissed her.

Rey hadn't thought kissing could get better, but since arriving on Ajan Kloss, they'd had more opportunities to practice.

She wasn't complaining.

…

Just before the sun was going to set, Rey and Ben started walking back to the Resistance base.

She gave Ben a smug smile. His hair was a mess from her running her hands through it.

"What?" he asked.

"Your hair," Rey said, waving at it. "Lean down and I'll help you fix it before we run into anyone."

He leaned down, and she did her best to fix his hair. It wasn't perfect, but it was less messy now. "It'll do."

She knew she was flushed and her lips felt a bit swollen, but there was nothing she could do about that.

...

Rey saw Poe standing beside the Falcon. He waved at Rey, and then he nudged Rose with his elbow and pointed at Rey and Ben.

Rose waved them over.

"Good to see you," Poe said in a loud voice.

Rey raised her eyebrows.

"Steer clear of General Cypress," Poe continued in a much quieter voice. He nodded in the direction of a thin man with short grey hair that Rey recognized. Leia hadn't had a very favourable option of him. "He has been the most vocal member of High Command."

"Vocal how?" Rey asked, a raid she already knew the answer.

"Vocal about wanting Ben locked up or executed," Rose answered.

"Executed," Rey said harshly. "That won't happen." She glared at General Cypress' back.

"None of us want that to happen," Rose said, touching Rey's arm.

Rey believed her.

"None of you?" Ben asked, clearly skeptical.

"We're all firmly on team cooperation," Poe said. "Admittedly, some of us are less enthusiastic than others, but we have your back."

Ben gave Poe a nod. "I appreciate that."

Rey worried about who had General Cypress' back.

…

Sharing a room was the best part of being on Ajan Kloss.

They should have been sleeping, but Rey didn't want to sleep–

–and neither did Ben. He kissed his way down her neck, occasionally nipping at her skin. "Is this alright?"

"Yes," Rey said, her voice rough, "it feels good." She moaned when he found a particularly sensitive spot near her collarbone.

…

They were on their way out of the base when Ben stopped walking. "Look who's coming," he said.

Rey followed his gaze and saw Snap Wexley approach them. They hadn't talked to him, but whenever they were in the same room, he looked at Ben with open hostility.

"Captain Wexley," Ben said with forced politeness, "what can we do for you?"

Snap crossed his arms. "You could leave."

Ben raised his eyebrows. "You'll have to be disappointed then."

"The Resistance doesn't want you here," Snap said.

Rey stood between them. "You don't speak for everyone."

Snap took a step back. "I speak for enough."

"Is that all?" Ben asked.

Snap's eyebrow twitched. "No," he said, "General Organa would like to see you both in her office."

Ben opened his mouth, but Rey was afraid he would say something stupid, so she cut him off. "Thank you for letting us know." Rey grabbed Ben's arm. "Let's go."

Rey kept quiet until they were far enough away that Snap wouldn't hear. "You didn't have to antagonize him."

"He antagonized me."

Rey gave him an unimpressed look.

"Fine," he said, "I'll be polite next time."

"Good. We need all the support we can get."

…

When they arrived at Leia's office, Rey saw Finn and Rose talking to Leia. She was surprised to see Luke and C-3PO on the other side of the office, as far away from everyone else as they could get.

"Why did you send Wexley to get us?" Ben asked.

Leia gestured for them to sit at the table. "To see if I could trust him."

Ben sat down, and Rey sat next to him. "And you can't," Ben said.

Leia sat across from them, Finn and Rose sitting to her left. "I think I can."

Ben leaned forward. "He said he wanted me to leave."

Leia didn't look phased. "He still delivered the message."

Rey looked over at Luke and C-3PO. Neither of them joined the rest of them at the table.

"Why are we here?" Rey asked.

"Threepio can't translate the dagger, not with his current protocols," Rose said. She looked over at the droid. "But I found something that might work."

"We thought it best for you both and Finn to be here for the translation," Leia explained. "As Force users, you might pick up on something."

"There's more, isn't there?" Ben asked.

Rose nodded. "I'll have to erase Threepio's memories."

"Can't you back them up?" Ben asked.

"Yes," Luke said, walking towards the table, "but droids are never the same after a memory wipe."

"I understand this is important," C-3PO said. "I've agreed."

"No," Rey said.

Luke furrowed his brow. "No?"

"We don't need to do this," Rey said. She looked at Ben, and he nodded. "We know where the dagger leads."

"How?" Finn asked.

It's okay, Ben told Rey. You can tell them.

"For us," Rey said, taking Ben's hand, "this has already happened."