Trigger Warning: Brief talk of suicide.

Chapter Ten

A dull sense of disappointment settled on Shoto's chest when he walked back into Kat's room and found that she hadn't moved at all since he left. That first night he'd wrapped her in a pile of her blankets in a dim hope that it would make her feel better, but she didn't say a word. She hadn't spoken since she begged him not to leave. As if he ever would. Part of him had hoped that he would come back from the Sanrio store to find her sitting up in bed looking slightly confused but ready to be herself again. Ready to smile, to make jokes he didn't always understand but that always made him laugh anyway. He hadn't expected to miss a person's smile as much as he missed her's.

"Hey, I'm back." He said. He shut the door behind him and brought the bags over to the bed. "I went back to the Sanrio store. I got you some stuff. Do you want to see it?"

No response.

He sighed.

"Well, first we've got this." He pulled out a pink cropped sweatshirt with Gudetama climbing back into his egg, ass in the air, with the words GOING HOME written playfully at the top. When he saw it he imagined her laughing loud and hard over it-turning something that was only mildly humorous he supposed into something truly hilarious. She didn't even turn over. He folded it back up and put it back in the bag. "Oh, and I got these socks." He showed her the pack of blue and yellow Gudetama ankle socks. Nothing. He started to reach for the Gudetama Tomogatchi he remembered her telling him about before all this happened, then stopped. What good would it do to keep showing her these things if she wasn't going to respond?

He pushed the bags aside and climbed back into the bed with her, crawling under her pile of blankets. He played her hair through his fingers and rubbed her back. Neither he nor Kat said a word.

Did Aizawa or Nezu contact his father about all the school he missed? They must not have, or else he would've definitely heard by then. Whatever, if Endeavor found out then he found out. Shoto wasn't about to leave her side for anything. Not until he saw her smile again. Not until she was herself. Not until knew she was all right.

He would flunk out of U.A. before he would leave her by herself for too long. Even the trip to the Sanrio store felt like going out to sea in a rowboat. Alongside the disappointment that she hadn't changed, there was also a twinge of relief. Nothing had changed, which meant nothing worse happened either.

It was strange to feel so strongly over someone he hadn't known that long. But he liked how she made him feel. Like it was all right for him to be himself, and that he had someone nearby who would listen to him and care about him. Sunshine that he craved.

Maybe it wasn't so strange after all-though, even if it was, it would have been perfectly on par with Kat. She made everything strange, including the people around her. He saw it in Levi when they were together. The stoic, nervous person Levi was when she was alone evaporated completely when Kat was near. The other girls flocked to Kat like butterflies. She laughed with them and knew how to have fun. Being with her felt like being able to breathe, and he loved the way she looked when he walked into a room. Like he'd given her the moon just by being there. His existence was enough.

So fine, if it was strange then it was strange. But he wanted more than anything to help her and one way or the other he would.

A thought occurred to him and he sat up. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we listen to some music? Here, I'll put on your favorite." He got his phone out, opened up the music app, and started Melanie Martinez for the thousandth time. That time he decided to play her Crybaby album. Whenever it occurred to him that maybe playing her favorite music might help, he alternated between Melanie Martinez and Machine Gun Kelly. Neither of whom he'd heard of before but could now recite the titles of songs and most of the lyrics. It never worked but he liked to think it counted somehow. So he started up Crybaby, laid the phone on her end table, and curled up against her again.

You seem to replace

Your brain with your heart

You take things so hard

And then you fall apart

You try to explain

But before you can start

Those cry baby tears

Come out of the dark

Someone's turning the handle

To that faucet in your eyes

They're pouring out

Where everyone can see

Your heart's too big for your body

It's why you won't fit inside

They're pouring out

Where everyone can see

They call you cry baby, cry baby

But you don't fucking care

Cry baby, cry baby

So you laugh through your tears

Under normal circumstances, had she been herself Kat would have lit up and started singing along. It was her favorite song of all time. She liked to laugh and tell him how it was basically her theme song, next to Mad Hatter. She knew she cried a lot and found ways to joke about it. He'd give anything to hear her make that joke again.

"Shoto . . . ?"

He jumped and his heart leaped into his throat. He swallowed his shock when she turned over and looked at him with her gorgeous silver eyes. He smiled softly. "Hey Kat."

"What . . . are you doing here?" She rubbed her eye with her wrist.

"You asked me not to leave, so I didn't." He brushed her hair out of her face.

Tears bloomed in her eyes and her bottom lip quivered. "I didn't . . . I didn't think you would."

"Well, I guess you were wrong then."

In the next heartbeat, she lost it. Hot tears poured down her cheeks. Shoto gathered her in his arms and let her cry on him, happy beyond measure that she was at least back with him. As much as he didn't want to see her crying he could at least handle that. It was the silence that daunted him. The absolute goneness. He resisted an almost overwhelming urge to kiss her on the forehead.

"Thank you Shoto," she whimpered. "Thank you so much, Shoto."

"Hey, there's no need for that."

I'll always be there for you.

He brushed the tears off her cheeks.

"I can't believe you've been here the whole time!" she moved away from him and tucked her arm under her head. Bit-by-bit she was returning to herself. Nothing could've made Shoto happier. "How long . . . ?"

"Three weeks."

"Three weeks?" Her eyes grew wide. "B-But what about school? Shit, did Aizawa ask-? Wait, if you were here with me, does that mean-?"

"You and I both missed a lot of school."

"Shoto! You shouldn't have done that!"

He shrugged. "Whatever. It doesn't matter." His throat tightened. All of a sudden he was so aware of her smell-she hadn't showered in weeks, but he still couldn't get enough of it. He wanted to bury his face in the crook of her neck. Kiss her shoulder, hear the little sounds she would make . . . promises that she'd come back and that she was there with him.

Heart beating in his throat, Shoto took her face in his hand. A blush crept into her round, soft cheeks. Her lips parted slightly. As if taking in a small breath.

It wouldn't be hard to just lean forward a little. To brush his lips against her's. To taste her. His chest constricted at the thought. His heart raced as he repositioned himself so he loomed over her, one arm on either side of her. Shoto swallowed at the lump forming in his throat. He was going to do it. He'd wanted to three weeks ago when they went on their tour of the city, after their grand escape from Levi and Bakugo. He-

A knock sounded on the door.

"Garrison, it's Mr. Aizawa. I'm here with the rest of your class to check on you."

Shoto all but leaped off her, and Kat squirmed into the corner of her bed. The two regarded one another with wide eyes. Both knew what had almost happened. Shoto cleared his throat and got out from under her blankets. He turned off the music, went to unlock her door, and let Mr. Aizawa and everyone else in.

Nervous, Shoto remained on the fringes as the entirety of Class 1-A flooded into the room. Levi and Bakugo included, much to his surprise. He hadn't given much thought to what might have happened with Levi. His entire concern had been focused on Kat.

"Ah, glad to see you're awake," Mr. Aizawa said. He crossed his arms and tossed a secret, knowing glance at Todoroki. There was no need to advertise where he'd been the whole time. But did he . . . did Shoto see a small glimmer of appreciation in his teacher's eye? It was such an infrequent look to see with Mr. Aizawa that he couldn't be sure. Now, if it had been disappointment that would have been more familiar. Mr. Aizawa's gaze returned to Kat. "Feeling better, I take it?"

She nodded as Levi came and sat with her on the bed. A few of the other girls joined her-Uraraka, Asui, Mina, Hagakure. They cloistered tightly around her. Like sisters. "Yeah, a little. I'm sorry I missed so much school. Please-"

Their teacher waved her off. "You can come in for weekend classes to make it up." He gestured at Todoroki. "Both of you."

They both nodded.

"I told them some of what was going on," Levi said. "With James, I mean. They know, and they want to help."

Shock radiated through Kat's eyes. "You told them?"

"To be fair, we made her," Ida announced. "We were worried about you two, and even then we had to tie her down and take her quirk to get any information. Please don't be cross with Levi!"

A quiet kind of consideration settled over her face. Her expression softened, her demeanor relaxed. Shoto would've given anything to know what had gone through her head at that moment. A tiny smile lifted the corner of her mouth. "Did you tell them about . . . the other thing?"

Levi shook her head. "That's yours, not mine."

"All right." Kat took in a deep breath. "I guess I have my own part of the story to add."

"Kat, you don't have to." Levi reached for her friend's hand and squeezed. "You don't-"

"I know, but I want to."

Shoto, on the fringes of the group, listened as Kat talked about her family. She described an exhausting world in which she didn't exist unless she excelled. That her parents and other siblings could look right through her as if she was invisible if she didn't have some great merit to bestow at their feet-and because that was how they treated all of their children, she and her siblings were always at odds with one another. Every achievement that should've finally won her parents' appreciative eye would be stomped into the dirt by something one of the older kids did. Sometimes they didn't even remember her name unless she did something worthwhile. The only exception was her brother, James, who refused to play their game after Kat was born. Before that, he had been just as competitive as the others and had been knocked out of the spotlight more times than he could count by the others. But when Kat was born . . . she talked about how James told her once that the moment he saw her he knew he wouldn't let her be crushed by them. So he took care of her. He smiled at her drawings even though they weren't the best. When her parents tore them down from the fridge he would pin them up in his room. He intercepted parent-teacher conference notes and went in their place because he knew she would never find peace for not being as smart as her oldest sister was at her age. It was because of him that she'd survived that family at all.

All the while he couldn't stop picturing the guy they found in the ally, the one who hugged Kat and promised that he loved her-but still offered no information on why he'd left her. His heart ached thinking back on when she'd cried on him, convinced she'd done something wrong to make James leave. He never wanted to hurt anyone more than he wanted to hurt Kat's brother . . . but wondered if that would help her or hurt her, because she still loved James, no matter what he did.

Then she got to the part of the story where James left, and what happened after.

Levi gripped her hand tight as she told her whole class about how devastated she was when James left. How it felt like part of her had been stolen. They'd always been so close, and to have him just disappear like he did . . . it hurt her almost beyond repair. With a quivering voice and tears on her face, she told her friends about how she'd tried to kill herself because she couldn't stand being in that family without her one source of affection.

Shoto looked to the carpet beneath his feet. He never imagined Kat-sweet, bubbly Kat who made jokes and hopped when she was excited and worshipped Gudetama-had tried to hurt herself. Had almost ended her own life.

Had almost made it so he never would have known her.

At the end of the story, nearly the whole class was in tears. They tried to comfort her, promised that no matter what she'd have them and they loved her. That she and Levi were part of their family now, whether they wanted it or not, and that made Kat laugh with happy tears in her eyes.

Mr. Aizawa remained silent. Thoughtful.

On their first weekend class, Kat had been excused to go to the bathroom. She and Shoto sat together in the front of the class taking notes on Aizawa's lessons. Though even if his notebook told a story of a boy paying the utmost attention to all the school he'd missed taking care of the girl who sat beside him, his mind instead wandered back to when the rest of the class left that day.

It was strange being left alone with her after such an announcement. He could tell by the way she squirmed in her bed that it made her nervous. Shoto crossed the room and sat with her agian. "I got you something."

"You . . . did?"

He nodded, smiling as he lifted the Sanrio bags off the floor. Her eyes lit up when she pulled out the cropped sweatshirt. When he bought it he'd hoped she would see it and scream in laughter as she so often did when something hit her just right- and that's exactly what she did. She squealed in delight and fell against his shoulder, ecstatic over the hilarity of a dumb shirt. Though at that moment it was the least dumb shirt in the world because it made her happy. She couldn't wait to try her new socks when she opened them, lost her mind at the Tamagotchi, and buried her face in the fleece material of the Gudetama throw blanket he found. She threw her arms around his neck and thanked him for such great presents.

Questions about her suicide attempt weighed heavily on his mind but he didn't dare ask. Kat would talk about it when she was ready. All he had to do was be there when she wanted to. That would be easy because he never wanted to leave her side. Even after things returned to normal all he wanted was to be near her.

"Todoroki," Mr. Aizawa said while Kat was away in the bathroom. "I wanted to talk to you alone."

"Yes sir."

Mr. Aizawa, eyes bloodshot and hair in a mess around his head, leaned on his desk. "You did a good thing, taking care of Garrison the way you did. I hate to think what might have happened if she'd been by herself."

"Thank you, sir."

Mr. Aizawa nodded, Kat came back, and weekend classes resumed like normal. Shoto felt a swell of pride when Kat put her bag on her desk to look for a replacement pen and he saw her Gudetama Tamagotchi hanging off the strap.