This involves the aftermath of 'Tears of the Prophets.'

December 2374

Section 31 had tried to recruit him, but had backed off simply because he had a child and leftover 'internal hardware' from his time in Internment Camp 375. Julian, however, didn't find Section 31's attempt to recruit him the worst of his problems. The worst of his problems was great loss.

Jadzia was dead and the Dax symbiont was off to find a new host. Ricky was 9 months and a few weeks old, but Julian was feeling strangely empty. Worf and the others were in the Sickbay, grieving Jadzia's body in private, but he had retreated to his quarters and was watching Ricky sleep soundly in the swing. Everything had happened so fast and now everyone, including Julian, was lost.

For once in his life, Julian had no desire to take any of his mood stabilizers or do his job. All he wanted to do was hide in his quarters with Ricky; perhaps they would be safe in the isolated space. He knew Starfleet would have something to say about that, however, and so he had to push himself to function. He had left Worf to grieve and was now rocking Ricky into a nap while seated on his couch.

The door chime suddenly rang and Julian sighed, "Come," he spoke in a concerned voice.

A strange somberness filled the room as Captain Sisko entered carrying a tablet, "Doctor, I just thought you should know that I've transferred the information about your assessments to being Major Kira's responsibility," he spoke in a somber voice, approaching the table. "I'm leaving Deep Space Nine."

Julian frowned as Sisko dumped the tablet on the table as if he couldn't wait to be rid of it, "I don't understand," he spoke in a confused voice, shifting Ricky to his lap. "You said you would be there..."

"Jadzia's death happened because I ignored the Prophets and perhaps they didn't even want Ricky to be born either," Sisko spoke coldly, cutting Julian off with a dark expression on his face. "If they had wanted Ricky Bashir to exist, they would have protected you both from the explosion..."

Anger filled Julian and he glared at Sisko, "Are you saying it would have been better if Ricky hadn't been given a chance to live?" Julian asked in an upset voice. "Did you want me to kill him once I found out I was pregnant? I remember that you weren't exactly happy about me being pregnant at all!"

"I did suggest to Starfleet that it might be easier than taking a needed doctor away from battle," Captain Sisko admitted in a quiet, somber voice. "It would have been easier. You wouldn't have had the mental breakdown that you did and I wouldn't have invited the Pah-Wraiths to target you if I had not bestowed an Emissarial blessing on you at Starbase 375. Ricky's existence nearly got you killed, Doctor..."

Having heard enough, Julian swore and rose with Ricky in his arms, "Get out," he spoke coldly, his expression furious and cold. "What happened to me may have been unexpected, but I will not have you tell me that it would have been better for my son to die! I love him and I will always love him..."

"Doctor Grayson's being transferred and I'm leaving, so you'll be overwhelmed!" Sisko snapped, his expression unusually angry. "Do us all a favor, Doctor Bashir, and admit that you can't handle it! Admit that you were foolish in trying to do this and admit that the Pah-Wraiths were right about you!"

Julian froze as Ricky whimpered, not liking the tension in the room, "Right about me?" he asked.

"You're weak and need to grow up!" Sisko snapped angrily. "You're so weak that you needed others to help you get through the pregnancy and even help you decide if you wanted to keep it! You've come to depend on me and on everyone else so much that you don't even know if you can do things alone! If you were really raising Ricky alone, would you be able to do it or would you let your dark side overwhelm you so much that you'd want to kill him like the Pah-Wraiths tried to?!"

Julian's eyes widened in anger as the door chime rang, "GET OUT!" he shouted, his expression furious.

"Life's not always meant to be easy or fair, Doctor, and you need to realize that!" Captain Sisko snapped as he moved towards the door. "You need to learn to face reality and accept your limits!"

The door slid open, revealing Odo standing there and Sisko promptly stormed out having said what he felt Julian needed to hear. Ricky started to cry, shaken by the fight. Julian sighed as he cuddled Ricky close and struggled to keep from crying, but he could feel tears filling his eyes rather quickly.

"I got reports of a shouting match in here," Odo spoke in an uneasy tone. "Did something happen?"

Julian sighed heavily as he gently rocked Ricky to the point where the infant quieted, "I...Sisko told me his true feelings," he managed to say in a quiet, somber voice. "I should get Ricky something to eat..."

Odo looked concerned about the tears, but he nodded and watched as Julian retrieved the small stroller from a corner of the living room, "Captain Sisko said he was leaving the station," Julian said softly.

"It's what everyone is saying," Odo spoke worriedly, watching as Julian set Ricky in the stroller.

Ricky smiled at his father and Julian gently kissed Ricky's forehead, still deeply shaken by Sisko's unusually harsh words, "Daddy's going to take you to the Promenade," Julian spoke soothingly.

Odo slipped away, as he knew something bad had happened, but he didn't know how to be of help.

"Ricky's grown so much," Dr. Grayson observed in a quiet voice as she and Julian sat at a table in the Replimat with Ricky sucking on a cookie as he sat in his stroller. "How are you doing, Doctor Bashir?"

Julian sighed, not sure what he should reveal about his encounter with Captain Sisko because he was still very hurt by the Captain's indication that Ricky would be better off dead, "I'm not sure," he admitted quietly, his expression solemn. "Do you have any idea on where your next posting is?"

"The Spokane got hammered in their last engagement with the Jem'Hadar, so she and her crew are back on Earth for refits," Dr. Grayson explained, concerned by Julian's somberness. "What's wrong?"

Julian exhaled weakly, "Sisko...he implied that it might have been better if I hadn't given Ricky a chance to live and that things might have been easier had I ended the pregnancy before the explosion in my old quarters nearly killed us," he spoke shakily. "He also told me I needed to grow up..."

Dr. Grayson sighed, "Maybe it's best that he leaves then," she replied firmly, her expression upset. "I can't imagine he's capable of being a leader right now if he lets pain get the better of his common sense enough to say such things to you. Perhaps some time away will make him see sense..."

"He said I might lose my mind enough to want to hurt my son," Julian spoke worriedly. "Will I?"

Dr. Grayson sighed, "I don't think so," she replied reassuringly. "I've left refills of your medication with the other medical staff that should see you through the next little while and parenting classes..."

"I...what if I can't get anyone to help me?" Julian asked worriedly. "Maybe I was too dependent on..."

Before Dr. Grayson could reply, Miles came into the Replimat and wandered over to their table, "Hey, Keiko commed me in Ops and said that you and Captain Sisko had a shouting match in your quarters?" Miles asked worriedly, frowning at Julian's somberness. "She said that a lot of harsh things..."

"I'd rather not talk about it right now," Julian spoke quietly. "I just have to sort things out and talk to Kira about the assessments and ask if she can help me find someone to finish the classes..."

Miles scoffed, "I was just talking to Kira and said we'd do it, Julian," he replied incredulously, offering his friend a reassuring smile. "Keiko and I...we don't mind helping wherever we can with that."

"Really?" Julian replied in a surprised voice, letting out a sigh of relief. "Thank you both..."

Miles nodded and he tickled Ricky's face, causing the infant to coo happily, "I also heard you might be leaving us, Doctor Grayson," he said, looking at Dr. Grayson expectantly. "The war's not going too well..."

Julian suddenly felt a bit of anxiety from what he felt would be a long, dark road ahead of him and his little son. He quickly contemplated what to do, as he would not let Sisko's words affect him to the point where Ricky would be harmed, and quickly reasoned that a walk might relax him. Tuning out the conversation between Miles and Dr. Grayson, Julian collected the stroller and left the Replimat.

Everything was darker and a chill was in the air, but Julian kept his focus on Ricky as they wandered the Promenade together. The mood of the Promenade at that moment was very similar to the mood that had been present in the dream he had experienced months earlier. Had it been more than a dream?

The Bajoran Temple was suddenly within sight and Julian again felt drawn to it even though he had been attacked by an Orb last time he had visited. Ricky suddenly cooed, prompting Julian to look away from the temple and he sighed as he smiled at his son, "Should we go back to our quarters for a nap?" he asked in a kind, gentle voice. "You and I have had a very long day and it might help us both."

Ricky babbled and yawned, prompting Julian to nod and begin walking back through the Promenade to the Habitat Ring. He didn't need to visit the Bajoran Temple again, Julian reasoned anxiously, as he had already invoked the Emissary's anger by merely allowing his pregnancy and the existence of Ricky.

As Julian moved the stroller back through the Promenade, he noticed that Dr. Grayson and Jake were now sitting together in the Replimat and O'Brien had gone. Jake noticed him and waved, but Julian continued on without acknowledging Jake simply because it would lead to a conversation he didn't want to have. All Julian wanted to do was sit in his quarters with Ricky and help both of them to rest.

It didn't take long for them to get back to their quarters and Julian left the stroller in the living room while he took Ricky back to the bedroom they shared. Julian hummed a gentle lullaby as he settled Ricky in his crib with a blanket and a stuffed toy, but went quiet as he gathered Kukulaka from his pedestal and settled himself in the bunk that was next to the crib. He would only nap for a little while.

Sounds of the door chime were filling the air. The door suddenly slid open.

"Julian?"

Julian opened his eyes and found that Miles was standing beside his bed looking worried, "Have you and Ricky been asleep in here the whole day?" Miles asked in a worried voice. "Ricky's just waking."

Sighing, Julian set Kukulaka on the bed, got up, and walked over to the crib just in time to see Ricky extend his arms upward with a sleepy expression on his face, "He seems unusually happy," he observed in a confused voice as he picked Ricky up out of the crib. "It's almost as if he could read my mind..."

"Are you sure he's fully Human?" Miles asked in a concerned voice, frowning. "Who else was...?"

Julian frowned, cuddling Ricky, "I was never told," he replied softly. "He looks fully Human, but I have no idea where the Jem'Hadar got the egg from. Doctor Grayson might know. Is she still...?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if she's on duty right now," Miles admitted. "She saw Captain Sisko and Jake off and then went to her quarters, according to Garak. He was watching the whole thing from his shop."

Julian nodded, "What time is it?" he asked groggily, ignoring the growling coming from his stomach.

"About dinnertime," Miles replied calmly. "I brought you and Ricky some food from the Replimat."

Julian held Ricky close as he wandered into the front room with Miles at his heels and saw a bowl of stew, some biscuits, a tall glass of milk, a child's bottle, and some baby food on a tray, "I was just so overwhelmed by what Captain Sisko said earlier," Julian spoke softly. "It was...very hurtful."

"Keiko was next door with Molly and Yoshi and she said it sounded hurtful," Miles commented, watching as Julian situated Ricky in the highchair with the baby food before sitting down himself. "I mean, I know he's still grieving over Dax's death, but he shouldn't have wished you and Ricky dead."

Julian busied himself with feeding Ricky, pointedly ignoring his meal, "It's been said and now that I know how he feels, I can start learning to grow up," he spoke bitterly. "I rely on others too much..."

"You don't need to grow up," Miles replied worriedly. "Julian, you're doing extremely well considering what you've been through in the past while! You were held in an internment camp for a month, surgically experimented on, made pregnant, and had to carry a baby to term despite everything in the galaxy working against you. Now, you've got a healthy son and you should be proud of yourself."

Julian shrugged, "I'm trying to be," he admitted quietly, smiling as Ricky burped. "Aww..."

"I know it's not going to be easy to forget what Captain Sisko said..." Miles spoke in a worried voice.

Julian sighed, "I don't think I can forget it," he admitted sadly as he finished feeding Ricky. "There..."

To Julian's surprise, Ricky didn't fight when he was fed the milk like he used to and even allowed himself to be burped, "Time for a change and bed, I think," Julian spoke softly as he stood. "I'll eat after he's asleep."

Miles, however, sat at the table and waited while Julian changed Ricky, put him in bed, and cleaned up before returning to the table, "You didn't have to wait, Chief," Julian spoke, diving into his meal as if he were starving.

"I brought a portable dartboard," Miles spoke, picking up the darts and miniature board that was under the now empty tray. "I thought we could play a little to help you wind down after the day you've had..."

Julian ate his entire meal in silence before nodding, his expression tired, "Maybe a few rounds," he spoke in a tired voice, sighing weakly. "If I go to sleep now, all I'm going to see is Captain Sisko saying those terrible..."

"Remember that you have to stand further back than me," Miles spoke calmly, grinning. "And no letting me win!"

Nodding, Julian got up and moved to the far side of the room while Miles quickly set the portable dartboard up on the wall where they could play and also keep an eye on Ricky. It wasn't the same as playing in Quark's, Miles knew, but the game would do Julian a world of good and it would remind him that he wouldn't be alone in the grief that Sisko had left the small Bashir family in with his words. Any little act of compassion would help.