It went down just as Betelgeuse claimed it would. The bio-exorcist union dues were paying off handsomely and he was out of prison faster than a Kennedy's life expectancy while in office.

Stepping out of the Neitherworld courthouse, the ghost with the most wasn't expecting any crowds to be cheering for his release, but he knew Juno would be up his ass like a bad case of hemorrhoids. She stood at the bottom of the stairs, dead center waiting for him with a cigarette in hand. Her cold, dead eyes on him as she took a drag from her lit cig.

"June Bug, to what do I owe this pleasure?" The man asked as he slowly descended the steps, stopping with a six-foot difference between the two of them. The woman sighed and dropped the cigarette on the ground, snuffing it's embers out with the ball of her shoe.

"Let me buy you a drink, Betel," Juno replied. The man rolled his eyes and walked on past his former business associate who followed on his heel.

"I assume Chucky Cheese is getting acclimated to the joint?" The man mumbled as he padded himself down for a pack of cigarettes. Coming up empty, Betelgeuse shoved his hands into his pockets.

"As much as anyone fresh into the place can," Juno replied as she fished out her cigarette box and offered it to him. The man paused and reluctantly took the olive branch. "Maybe a little better than most actually, he's considering running for The Zoning and Developmental Council. He's not going to win obviously-"

"Obviously," the man mimicked as he lit up the bummed cigarette and handed the case back to Juno.

"But he's putting himself out there, has some ambition. Even if it is to pass the time here," Juno continued as she put the silver tinted case back in her bag.

"A man after my own heart," the man mumbled as he took his first drag of the day.

"Is that so? Because if I didn't know any better, I'd say you want to stick around and do nothing forever," the woman retorted as she passed Betelgeuse and opened the door to a pub named Halfway to Hades. Nudging her head to the establishment, the man rolled his eyes and headed into the dark and seedy place.

The place was nearly dead. Aside from the barkeep, only a passed out deadbeat at a table and a pair of suits sat in a booth. Stock market jumpers by the looks of them. Moving to the bar, the two sat onto the stools, and the bartender slapped down coasters.

"What are we having today," asked the man who was far too cheerful for Betelgeuse's liking. Too cheerful to be in purgatory actually, but some folks actually did enjoy their afterlife somehow. He was a tall guy, with blue eyes, blonde hair, chiseled jaw. The kind of fellow Hitler could really get behind.

"Whiskey, top shelf, neat-" Juno stated as she pulled out her cigarette case again and set it down onto the bar top.

"I'll have the same," Betelgeuse uttered as he tapped his cigarette over the ashtray that sat between him and Juno. The barkeep nodded and walked away to complete the order, and it wasn't until the drinks were set in front of them that Juno picked the conversation back up.

"Your mother moved on," Juno stated before she began to nurse her glass. The man beside her smirked and raised his glass.

"Well here's to dear ol' mum, may she get what she deserves," Betelgeuse started, motioning to throw the contents of the glass down his throat.

"That makes you the longest residing deadbeat here Betel," Juno continued, making the man pause in thought before he carried through with consuming the brown liquor. Tapping the glass with his fingers, Betelgeuse turned his head to the woman beside him as the bartender poured him another glass.

"Thinking about throwing me a party Juno?" Betelgeuse grinned as the woman pulled out a white envelope with his name on it. It was spelled as it sounded, how most people believed it to be spelled. She slid it across to him without looking and placed her free hand back on her drink.

"I'm wondering when you'll consider getting out too," she replied, her eyes locked onto her former partner. She didn't know what the hell they were to each other. He started out as an apprentice of sorts, and that evolved into an equal shares gig. Juno would regrettably admit once or twice he had made his way into her bed, and worse still she had sought out his company once as well but they were never lovers. She wasn't even sure if they qualified as friends. Maybe their only real bonds were made from the woes of the bureaucracy they both once worked for. Whatever the case was, even though he was the biggest bastard she knew, she still had to do right by him.

Betelgeuse's grin had been wiped away as soon as he had laid eyes on the envelope. Letters from either realm were rare. He was familiar with hate mail from folks below, a heaven-sent letter however. This was a first. This had to be a first. He knew from one look that it wasn't from his mother, his eyes following the erratically graceful curves of his misspelled name.

"It came for you while you were in the joint," Juno muttered, bringing the man back into the seedy pub. "I would have forwarded it to you but didn't want to risk it not making it," Juno said before taking a sip as the man swiped the envelope to inspect the piece of mail. "Nothing against the mail carriers, but the term 'going postal' takes a new meaning here after all. It's not every day that a letter comes down," Juno continued before taking another long drag of her cigarette. "Are you going to open it or what?" Juno asked impatiently, earning a glare from the supposed ghost with the most. Juno grinned knowingly. "Ah… so the almighty and powerful Betel is scared of something after all. Fear suits you," the seemingly older woman teased as she took a long drag from her cigarette.

"I'm not scared of some letter," Betelgeuse growled as he slapped the envelope down and reached for his drink. "It's probably just the kid writing to confess her regrets of not taking my offer on marriage."

Juno laughed at the statement and shook her head. The furrow on the man's brow dove deeper at the sound of her entertainment.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night I guess," Juno said as she turned her gaze from her former partner and to the mirror behind the bar and allowed silence to fall between them. Time is a man-made concept, but trying to keep track of it in the Neitherworld was as hopeless as it was pointless. A few seconds could have passed or an eternity for all they knew, but it was Juno that picked the conversation back up.

"Seriously Betel, how long do you plan on sticking around here for?" Asked the woman as she snuffed out the nub of a cigarette into the ashtray beside her. "You can appeal to move on, it's not like you want to stay here another century, or have a reason to."

Casting a brief glance to his former business partner, the ghoul rolled his eyes, making sure that she saw the motion in its entirety. The suits behind them had grown chattier, and one of them almost said his name. It was no secret that Betelgeuse was not beloved amongst the Neitherworld populace. Most despised him, even with his work of exposing Walter D'Angelo for being a massive piece of shit.

He wasn't going to lie. He wanted out, but the odds were stacked against him. They always were. There were no two ways about it. There was only one direction he could go if he followed the system, and that was down.

"Did Lucy put you up to this?" The man asked forcefully, the letter that was once held like a prize was now bunched up in his fists like a useless flyer. "You've seen my wrap, Juno. There is only one place I'm able to go and it's as sure as shit ain't up," the man muttered before he threw back what whiskey was left in his glass. "Besides, even on the extremely off chance that I'd be allowed into the golden gated community, what fun would there be for me?" He asked as he slammed the glass down and the now free hand helped to crumple the letter.

"You think that kid is enough for me? I've got news for you, she ain't. The living won't stop fucking, folks aren't going to stop dying, and newsflash, I got all the time in the world to wait for that next exit sign to light up!" Betelgeuse growled as he kicked himself off of the barstool, sending it crashing down to the cracked tile floor below and made a free throw shot with the balled up parcel. All eyes in the joint watched the paper as it arched and sunk into the wastebasket behind the bar, but rather than waiting for applause on the shot, Betelgeuse went right back on the offensive. Leaning in close to Juno who watched the theatrics unphased by the outburst, he offered a half-grin. "I don't need some Tiger Beat reject in my afterlife, and I sure as shit don't need you," Betelgeuse muttered. He was waiting for a response, but Juno only nodded her head towards the way they came in.

"There's the door," she said without a hint of emotion, triggering more fury in the man's expression. At an impasse, Betelgeuse stormed out of the bar and left the tavern in relative peace.

"What's the damage?" Juno sighed and shook her head as she took out the cigarette case again as well as her wallet and placed them both onto the counter. Placing the bill before the lone woman, the barkeep moved to the waste bin to pull out the envelope that had been tossed in there but stopped at seeing the woman wag her finger in the reflection.

"I'd advise you to not take things that don't belong to you," Juno started as she lit the new cigarette between her lips. "But even more important I would ask you to refrain from taking things that he has claim to," Juno continued as she stepped off of her seat and laid out the money that was due. "Leave it in the trash if you know what's good for you," Juno dismissed as she made her way for the door.

Once Juno was out of sight the bartender had his hand back in the trash can to retrieve the abandoned note. Instead of finding that or any of the receipts he had thrown out that day, the poor fellow was instead faced with the sensation of teeth bearing down on his forearm.

Letting out a terrified and painful scream, the bartender whipped his arm up to escape the wrath of the waste bin. On the third whip of his arm, the living garbage disposal unhinged its jaws on the man and flew off in the direction of the door. Before it could hit the floor, the bin had transformed into the patron who had stormed out after making his first scene.

Dusting himself off, Betelgeuse shook off the trash and pulled off a chewed piece of gum from his hair before spotting the balled up treasure he was after. Scooping up the once discarded letter, he quickly stuffed it inside of his pinstripe suit jacket. The ghost eyed the man he had bit and gave a smirk before stepping out of the establishment again with his pride somewhat still intact.

...

The letter was burning a hole in his pocket but he didn't dare bring it out in public. The last thing he needed was some tabloid spreading rumors that he had a secret lover or something. That thought stopped him in his tracks as he recalled he had one very large bone to pick with a certain muckraker in town by the name of Joe King, but that would have to wait another time.

Setting himself in motion again, Betelgeuse rounded the corner of a building and nearly collided with a very smug Juno who was waiting for him.

She had burned through the cigarette she had lit in the bar and dropped it on the sidewalk, snuffing what was left of it with her pointed-toe dress shoes. With both hands now free, she folded her arms and raised her chin at the man.

"You can lie to everyone, Betel, even to yourself, but don't think for a second you can pull one over me again," Juno said. She could see that he was ready to throw something her way to get her off his back, but she wasn't looking for a fight, nor even the answers to what was in that letter. Truth be told she didn't care what the Penny Dreadful kid had to say- she just wanted to make sure the message was delivered and remained in the right hands.

"You know the rules on that material," Juno started again but Betelgeuse was already nodding in reluctance.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Burn after reading, I got it." He muttered, "It's not like we can make the deadbeats any more suicidal though."

Juno shook her head and pushed past Betelgeuse but stopped as he caught her arm. Juno was prepared to snap at him but there was that expression from earlier on his face again. Hesitation? Fear? Remorse? She couldn't exactly place it but it was preferably over his all-knowing shit-eating grin.

"Why didn't you read it?" He asked. "Could'a just delivered the news yerself in a visit," Betelgeuse stated, making Juno shake her head.

"Whatever Lydia has to say to you, that's between you two," Juno said, the response caused the man to loosen his grip enough for her to pull away but the woman remained in place. "I'm not sure what interpostage is going for these days but I don't think Charles has received anything from the kid so if there is something she has to say to him, I'll leave it at your discretion to follow up."

When he gave a nod in acknowledgment Juno returned her own curt nod and began to walk away but stopped again to see the man staring after her.

"I'd offer to stick around for emotional support, but I have bigger fish to fry, you understand," Juno said and Betelgeuse scoffed, signaling that he would be alright. She smirked and gave a wave as she turned away again, heading back uptown. Somebody had to convince The Board that she was the best choice to replace Walter, and who needed a CV when she had a steaming cup of 'I Told You So'?

Back in his humble shack of a home, Betelgeuse stared at the still enclosed envelope. Wrinkles and creases littered the parchment, but it was arguably flat once more. He didn't know what the fuck to do. He should have thrown it out, torn it to shreds, and burned the remains. No good would come from whatever scribbles laid inside, but he still wasn't willing to let it go.

He wasn't willing to let her go.

"Oh for fuck's sake, you killed her- what do you think the letter is going to say?!" The ghost berated before impersonating Lydia's voice. "Hey, dreamboat! Thanks for sticking a knife in me like a steak. We should do it again sometime!"

He slicked his hair back with his free hand as he mulled over the potentials. He could still toss the thing into the next sewer drain, burn it or even eat the damn thing but curiosity was beginning to eat him up. Taking a deep breath, the man rolled every joint he could before tearing the paper sleeve to reveal the handwritten note.

'Dear Beetlejuice,'

"That's not how you spell it," the man grumbled out loud.

'I'm not sure if you'll ever get this letter'

"I did,"

'or if you even survived Walter and his gang, but if you are still out there and reading this. Either way, writing is a cathartic act and I need to get some things out. I want you to know that I am okay and I wanted to thank you, for everything.'

The man snorted, bitter over the light tone the kid was spewing at him but he read on, forgoing any commentary until he finished reading, a beer from his fridge now appearing in his hand as he read on.

'-and I wanted to thank you for everything. Had you not chosen to haunt the Maitlands, I think we might have ended up meeting under very different circumstances," Lydia confessed on paper. 'and had you not come back to haunt me, I'm pretty sure I'd be in a worse spot than I am now. It's a little brighter than my liking up here, but I've got my own darkroom now if you can believe it. Not a converted basement bathroom but a legitimate darkroom!

I'm back with Barbara and Adam. I told them what you did for me but they are not pleased about me writing to you. I guess they are still pretty mad about before. Can you blame them? Well, I'm sure YOU can, but try your best not to hold anything against them.

I tried calling you here. A few times actually. Just to see if you could, but I guess security is a little tighter up here.'

Betelgeuse paused at the statement. On a few occasions when he was waiting for the union to bail him out he felt a faint tug. He thought he was just imagining it but that was the windpipes trying to bring him up. His thumbs caressed the edges of the paper, wishing he could just ring the doll up already, but communication was slow and only went one way.

'Or maybe the worst has actually happened to you.'

"Fuck. Kid, I'm not gone, I'm still here, you can keep calling my name, I'll know it's you," Betelgeuse called out, frustrated now. He said he was going to read the whole way through but he just couldn't help himself. "She's actually worried about me. She should know me better than that."

'Barbara and Adam said it's impossible to get rid of you though. Said something along the lines of you being like a cockroach.'

The ghost held a hand to his chest, producing a fake sniffle. "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!"

'I hope they are right, and I hope that you are okay. And I wish I could have seen the look on Walter's smug face when you killed me… I know I wasn't expecting it. I'm not saying it was the wrong thing or that I'm mad but it just felt awful, and I'm not referring to the knife either. I can't explain it, but it felt wrong, to die by your hands. Maybe it was better off that way, and maybe you are better off that way too but I'm sorry you had to be the one to kill me. Had I listened to you earlier, I could have been the one to bring you back to life, right?'

A drop of water hit the paper in his hand, making Betelgeuse pause. He looked to the ceiling for the source of a leak but there was nothing so he read on.

'I don't think I would have made a very good wife, and I'm sure that you wouldn't be winning husband of the year in this millennia, but you did more for me than most and that meant a lot.'

Another drop of water hit the page but the ghost ignored it and continued to read.

'I'm sorry I messed up everything for you. I know you had high hopes for marriage and walking around with the living again. I'm not sure if I was your only way out but you sure made it feel like it sometimes. I might not have been willing to jump your bones, but I do care about you, and even if you won't admit it, I know you care about me too.

I hope you are well and hope you get whatever it is that you were looking for.

~Lydia

It was the third drop of water that diluted her signature that made Betelgeuse realize he was the source of the leak. He rubbed his eyes with the cuff of one of his sleeves and glared at the letter. He had wished she didn't write. Or that Juno hadn't delivered it to him, but here it was in his hands and now after consuming it he had to burn it. But he didn't.

Folding the letter into a neatly pressed square, the ghost tucked the note into the inside pocket of his jacket and held it to his long-dead heart. He sat in silence, absorbing the words that Lydia had written. She was okay. That was all he needed to know. He didn't need the garbage about her having a darkroom, or staying with the Maitlands, and he especially didn't need to know that she cared.

He rubbed his eyes again, cursing at the steady stream of tears that were breaking out. He must be sick in the head if he was crying over a brat like her. He could go downtown and bury himself in some other hopeless dame- that's what he should be doing instead. Getting shit faced and fucking every pair of free tits he saw. Maybe even pull a few pranks on Charles to see if he could die of freight down here too… But he didn't do that either.

He just sat and wallowed in his own self-pity, knowing that the girl who wanted out of her life was what he was looking for, and she was now out of his reach.

This fic took me much longer than I would like to admit, and if it wasn't for the state of the pandemic I don't think I would have been able to come back to this. (I am not cheering for the state of things, only pointing out the trend of people returning to their comforts)

To those who have been reading this from years ago and returned for the pain, thanks for sticking around. I know how awful it can be to wait for something that might not happen. I gave Rona credit for me coming back here, but it was truly because of the occasional comments I would get over the years on asking when I was coming back. So an extra kudos to those of you who leave comments, even if its not with me. They do make a difference.

With all that said, thank you again for reading but as the title implies, this is the end. Not going to tack on an extra chapter or make it into a series. An open-end is the best I can do.

And on that note, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.