"...And then the man says 'This hole...! It was made for me!' and then—"

"Opal," I interrupted, "I'm glad that you're getting into the spirit of the season but care you tell me about the scary story you found when we're not dealing with a Motherfucking Zombie Apocalypse!"

I swung the wand and blasted half a dozen shamblers apart, while Opal scoffed. "Just for that, I won't tell you about the one with the snails. Besides, these aren't zombies. I can't detect a single trace of vampirism in any of them."

I decapitated another zombie as Miss Militia, her weapon turned into an automatic rifle of some sort, surfed around the block on the beach of a PRT Van, and did her best impression of Tony Montana... She was probably having a little too much fun shooting zombies. "Of course not. They're not vampires, they're zombies."

"Princess? Where do you think zombies come from? Also, have you noticed that all of them looked exactly the same... Wait, you swore a little bit ago! Don't think I didn't notice!"

I ignored Opal's criticism and, the zombies in my immediate area vanquished, took to the air to either figure out where they were coming from or find people who needed to be rescued.

While traveling the town I found Vista and Kid Win using their respective powers to force hundreds of zombies into a single file line to be mowed down with laser fire as well as Regent of the Undersiders leading a dozen zombies in a choreographed dance to a certain Michael Jackson song... I moved along.

Eventually, I made my way to the cemetery, which, honestly should have been my first thought of where to find zombies spawning from, and saw a peculiar sight.

A bunch of children standing around a cauldron. Even so often, it would flash white and a zombie would climb out.

I approached them and landed, getting a good look at them... obviously, these weren't normal children. One of them had horns and a scaley tail, four of them needed to have a long talk with their parents about dressing appropriately, and one seemed to have plastic doll limbs. One of the drastically underdressed ones was a pale purple color and had a keyhole in her head.

"Hey... What's going on here?" I asked.

"Abby, Elizabeth, Jeanne, Jack, Paul, and I are trying to use black magic to create the ultimate Halloween party," the silver-haired girl with the doll joints and the incredibly fancy dress said matter of factly. "It's not going well. In hindsight, maybe spells from the Necronomicon weren't the wisest choices for this."

One of the underdressed girls pulled a big fucking knife on me. "Would you like to be dismembered? Mommy says we have to ask first."

I blinked. "No thank you."

With that, the girl put the knife away as if nothing happened.

"So, uh... Can you stop it? Uh... The town is kind of overrun with zombies and... Nobody's died yet, but they're attacking people and..."

At that moment keyhole head flipped a page in a creepy book I hadn't noticed she had. "Oh. Here's the problem. We forgot to add salt."

I'm a little vague on the details of how we got from there to here, but the next thing I knew the zombies were gone and everyone was at a Halloween party so, I guess, mission accomplished.

Though... Why did two of the girls have boy's names?

AN: Hey everybody, Happy Halloween almost... I'm working on an actual chapter of this but I've been having problems actually sitting down and getting it written, so here's this to try and get the creative juices flowing.