"Bess?" Peter asked exasperatedly.
Bess groaned, rubbed her eyes, ran her hands down her face, leaving them cupping her cheeks, and sighed. "I don't know."
A minute passed before she heard her name again. "Bess, come on..." Peter groaned.
She pursed her lips, frowned, and scratched her chin before reaching down and putting her fingers above a knight.
"Wouldn't do that one, love," Sirius whispered in her ear.
"Hey! Don't help her! That's not fair!" Peter cried. "Prongs!"
"But she's at a disadvantage!" Sirius argued, before returning his chin to Bess' shoulder and staring down at the chess pieces which were showing their boredom - they were leaning against their swords, checking their gauntlets, or in the case of Peter's king, yawning.
It was the middle of the half term week and Bess was sat cross legged on the floor of the common room, playing a round of Wizard's Chess with Peter.
Sirius, who was still in his pyjamas, had walked in to the common room half-way through their game and was now sat behind Bess with her back to his chest, his knees either side of her, his arms wrapped around her waist, and his chin on her shoulder.
"My disadvantage seems to have black hair, grey eyes, and an annoying habit of kissing my shoulder..." Bess whispered, adjusting the neck of her jumper absentmindedly before leaning forwards to look at the board more closely. She felt Sirius' laugh before she heard it, and smiled to herself.
"I think you forgot devastatingly handsome..." he whispered, reaching up a hand and gently pulling the shoulder of her wide necked jumper to the side again.
"Maybe," she whispered back, cocking her head to the side as she stared at the board, "that, or incredibly egotistical..." she added, before sticking her tongue out in concentration.
Sirius just chuckled, pulled her back against his chest, and kissed her now-bare shoulder again.
As much as she was in a joking mood, she was, in actual fact, quite annoyed. She had wanted to go in to the Room of Requirement this week, but every time she left the common room on her own, Sirius, James, Lily, Jo, Skye, Peter, or Remus, had followed her to 'make sure she was okay'.
Her friends had taken it upon themselves to make sure she was protected from any potential threats - i.e. Slytherins - and so she wasn't allowed anywhere on her own.
It had done wonders for her relationships, both platonic and romantic, but nothing for her overall plan of trying to change the future of the world she found herself in.
It had now been over five days since she had worked out where the Room of Requirement was, and she still hadn't managed to go inside it.
She felt restless, and knew she'd need to find a way to distract everyone soon, so that she could begin her work.
"Come on Bess, really, they'll start fighting each other soon!" Peter whined.
Bess bit her lip in thought, and hovered her fingers over a rook.
"Lo-" Sirius began. He stopped halfway through his word, as Bess turned her head to the right. He pulled back slightly, and she raised an eyebrow and placed a finger over his lips.
"Shush, or you'll have to leave." She promised, before turning back to the game.
"Sorry, love..." Sirius said, squeezing her to him. She could hear the smile in his voice.
She reached down and moved her intended chess piece - the Queen. She made eye contact with Peter and smiled evilly as she picked up the piece and placed it in front of his king.
"Check... mate." she said quietly.
"What? How?" Peter asked, staring down at the board as Bess giggled.
She'd known her move five minutes previously, but she couldn't help but mess with the watery eyed boy. As much as she had to pretend to be his friend for the sake of her relationship, or courtship, with Sirius, she couldn't stop herself from one-upping him ever so often.
"Well done, love," Sirius said, before kissing her shoulder again and rubbing a hand up and down her jumper clad stomach.
Grinning, she picked up her new journal, and began to stand up. Sirius pulled her back down and pushed her hair off her shoulder again as she groaned in annoyance.
"I thought you wanted to spend time with me..." he murmured against the crook of her neck.
"I do, but I thought we were just slightly more than friends..." she said with a smile as Sirius moved his arms to cover hers and wrapped them around her waist.
"Friends cuddle..."
"You mean, you're trying to show everyone in here that I'm..." she trailed off, not knowing how to put it. The only word she could think of was yours.
She didn't mind this one bit, but she needed to think, and Sirius could be... intoxicating. She wondered what it would be like when they actually kissed... or more.
"Fine." Sirius said, before nuzzling her cheek with his nose and releasing her.
"Thank you." She said quickly, standing up and moving to the armchair behind him. She lay across it, her legs dangling over one arm, and pulled out the quill which was tucked in to her little golden notebook.
After they'd finished their Hogsmeade lunch at the weekend, Sirius had insisted that the boys take Bess and Lily to Scrivenshaft's, where Bess picked out a notebook which was enchanted so that only she could open it, and a bottle of ink which only she could read.
She could, if she wanted to, charm the book to allow more people to open it, or the ink to allow others to read her writing, but she wasn't ready to do that yet.
When she'd come to buy the small book, Sirius had half-wrestled with her at the cashier, and they'd finally agreed that he could buy her the ink as a birthday present, while she paid for the book. Though he'd also promised to grant her three wishes which she could ask for at any time, "like in that Muggle story," as he didn't think this was enough of a present.
It wasn't that Bess didn't want him to get her anything, just that she knew he wouldn't come in to his inheritance from his Uncle Alphard until at least his birthday, maybe even as far away as July 1977, and as much as the Potters had taken him in as their second son, she knew that he would have barely any gold at the moment, and she didn't want him to be out of pocket on her behalf. She did, after all, still have a decent amount left from the sale of her parents' house, and she knew she wouldn't need the money beyond the war - if she did make it out alive, she wouldn't be afraid of anything, least of all finding a job.
Opening the journal, she flicked past her notes on Horcruxes and their locations, to the most recent page where she'd written Regulus Black. Frowning, she scratched the side of her face. She knew he was Sirius' brother, and that he'd shoved her, and she knew he was significant in some way, but she just couldn't remember how.
Sighing, she moved on to a new page and began to write down some defensive spells she remembered from her more recent studies.
"I wish I could see what you were writing..." Sirius said quietly. He had turned around and was now on his knees, facing the front of the armchair. He'd placed his elbow on the armrest next to her head and propped his head on his hand, his other arm snaked slowly and gently over her waist, coming to rest at her side. Bess struggled to contain her shiver.
She sighed and placed the book on her chest, turning her face to look up at him. "And that, Master Black, is the entire reason I got this journal. It's nice to have some secrets..." she said, raising her eyebrows and cocking her head slightly.
She just about registered a sharp intake of breath coming from the sofa next to her, before James' voice called out, "Pads, she didn't-"
He was cut off by Sirius, who turned to look at him and shook his head with a laugh, before turning back to Bess.
"What?" She asked, trying to lean up enough to look at James. Sirius pushed her gently back down before she could.
He shook his head and smiled down at her. "I have a- an issue with being called that."
"Issue? Peter jokingly called you it in third year and you almost-" James was cut off again by a now stern look from Sirius.
"But you-" Bess began.
Sirius turned back to Bess and said loudly enough for his friends to hear even though he had his back to them, "there are exceptions to every rule..." before leaning in and rubbing his nose against hers.
"Why?" She asked quietly.
"Why what?"
"Why me?"
Sirius shrugged and rubbed his nose against hers again, before resting his forehead against hers, and whispered "you were dropped in to my world just when I needed you."
Bess frowned up at him as he pulled back and sat on his heels. They stared at each other for a moment longer before he turned around, leaning against the front of her armchair again. Bess turned back to her journal, drowning out the chatter around her.
Beginning to write, she started a new list -
My reasons for fighting:
Save Sirius Black
Later, she would add James, Lily and Remus' names, but as she stared down at the page, she repeated his words in her head - she was dropped in to his world.
Turning back to her page on the Horcruxes, she re-read her notes.
Horcruxes and locations
Diadem - Room of Requirement - not found
Cup - Lestrange Family Vault? - not found
She bit her lip and tapped the feather from her quill against the corner of the page, before a moment of realisation struck and her face relaxed as she turned the quill around and began to add another.
Ring - Gaunt Family Home - Little Whinging? - not found
Staring at the page, she knew that wasn't right. She didn't think it was Whinging... five minutes later she'd remembered, and scratched out the line, adding below it:
Ring - Gaunt Family Shack - Little Hangleton - not found
She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with a little groan and a grimace.
"You okay, Bess?" She heard Lily ask. She was sat on the sofa next to James. They'd been talking about her favourite book series, which, curiously, James knew as well.
Bess looked up, frowning in pain. "Mmm... sorry... bit of a headache."
"What're you writing about?" Remus asked quietly.
Bess pursed her lips and looked down at her book. "I'm- it's stupid, but I'm trying to remember things."
"But you're really great at that stuff, you're picking everything up really quickly. I don't think you need to do any studying..."
Bess chuckled and felt the pain ebb away as she stopped thinking about the Horcruxes. "No, I study all the time! It takes a lot of work to be average!"
"You're not average, love." Sirius whispered up at her, and she rolled her eyes at him.
"Anyway, no. I'm trying to remember..." she groaned and rubbed her head again, which began to ache once more.
"You really shouldn't be doing that. Memory charms can't be undone. If you try and remember your past... you could cause irreparable damage..." James said in a worried tone.
"But I-" Bess began.
"No, honestly, whether you want to try or not, it's not worth it." He said firmly.
Bess nodded and turned away, looking back down at her journal. She bit her lip and fell silent, James' words ringing in her ears.
She couldn't work out why she was finding it so difficult to remember where the other two were... she also knew that in 1979 another Horcrux would be made, but she couldn't remember who would steal it from the cave, or what, or who, R.A.B was.
"Love..." Sirius whispered, looking up at her.
"Sorry. I know." She said, tucking her quill in the small book and putting it on her lap, and looking down at him. "I just-"
"I know, but it's not worth it."
Bess nodded and looked at the cover of her book, before closing her eyes, shifting in the seat, and settling so that if her eyes were open she'd be staring at the ceiling. She crossed her arms across her chest and let out a deep breath through her nose.
Five minutes later, her eyes snapped open, and she quietly opened the book before adding one more line.
Diary - Malfoy Manor - not found
As far as she could remember, these were the only four Horcruxes currently. Four definitely seemed a lot more manageable than all seven, but she didn't know if two would even be in their post-First Wizarding War locations at the moment. She was sure that Voldemort would have given the diary to the Malfoys already, but she couldn't tell if the Lestranges had enough rapport with Voldemort yet to be granted the honour of holding the cup for him.
"My eyes do not shine as bright as emeralds." She heard Lily say in an annoyed tone.
Bess groaned inwardly as she turned her head to look at her two friends, who were on the verge of a spat. She couldn't help but meddle. "One day, you'll see what James sees..." she said to her friend, before turning to James and saying, with a teasing smile, "her eyes are beautiful, but honestly, I think they're more the colour of a fresh pickled toad..."
"You go too far..." Lily said, huffing and slumping in her chair. "Fine. James, you can have this one. I think I'd prefer they were like emeralds..."
Can't cover that blush, Bess thought as she smirked at the pair - James, who was now looking particularly happy, and Lily, who was trying to look anywhere but at her sofa mate.
"And your eyes, love-"
"Don't even try it, Black." She said, lying back and closing her eyes again. She heard him bark out a laugh, before he challenged Remus to a game of exploding snap.
xXx
Later that day, Bess was walking to the Great Hall with Lily, her journal in hand.
As they walked down the stairs, Lily turned slightly to Bess and said, "I don't think you should keep writing in that."
"What? Why?" Bess asked, frowning, and pulling the journal closer to her chest.
"I just... Mary had to give you a pain potion last night, and you said you hadn't used one of those since you were in St. Mungos."
"So?"
"So, you're still trying to remember things. You heard what James said."
Bess shook her head. "The headache's gone now though, I'm fine."
"For now!" Lily said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Bess, I care about you."
"You don't even know me. No one does, not really. I'm- I don't even-" Bess said, stopping in the middle of the hall and biting the inside of her cheek while staring at a suit of armour in the corner.
"Of course I do! I care about you, Bess, I really do. And I do know you. And you know me. Also, Bess, you're kind an open book anyway..." Lily said, coming to stand next to her.
"Am I?" She asked quietly.
"You tell the girls and me everything - how you're feeling, little tidbits about your day, things you did this year... the only thing you keep private is your relationship with Sirius, and he's more than making up for that. I think everyone knows what he wants, you just have to take one look at the way he can't keep his eyes and hands off you. I think most of the castle's confused why you're not snogging down every corridor."
Bess, whose eyes had filled with tears, finally looked up at Lily. "Maybe I'm an oversharer, but that doesn't mean I'm-" she stopped and looked down, kicking the floor and licking her lips. "There are so many things I can't remember, and so many things I- I just can't- I can't share."
"Bess, you can talk to me."
Bess looked up, furrowing her brow and biting her lip again. "There are still things I can't- I can't talk-"
Bess cut off as a pair of Ravenclaws walked past the duo.
"Look, can I just have a moment to myself? Please?" Bess asked. Seeing the look on Lily's face, she shook her head and bit her lip. "Sorry, it's just- I- I just need a bit of space." She said as she hit her journal against her other hand and walked backwards. "Just like half an hour?"
"I don't think you should-"
"Why? Because Sirius can't keep his eyes off me?" She asked, throwing Lily's words back at her, and raising an eyebrow. "My life doesn't stop when he's not around."
Bess was upset, and just needed to run away - go for a walk, do something stupid, just... something.
"I never said it did. I just- look, I don't think you should be going off on your own right now..."
"Why? What's going to happen? I'll end up in St. Mungo's again?" Bess asked, as she reached the doors. "Half an hour. If I'm not back by one, you can release the search party."
Lily nodded sadly and Bess turned around, walking out of the main doors and in to the grounds.
As she walked down the gravel path, swinging her arms, she thought about what Lily had said. They'd had a bit of an argument, but Bess knew it was only because of the fact that she'd spent the last week writing in a diary and- Christ, she thought, before stopping in her tracks.
Lily was worried that she'd been writing in a diary for almost a week, and becoming more removed from everyone. When had that happened before?
Ginny Weasley.
Except this time, Bess wasn't writing and losing herself to Tom Riddle, she was writing and losing herself in an effort to defeat Lord Voldemort.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice someone was following her until it was too late.
She felt something hit her back a split second before she was hoisted in to the air by her ankle. She let out a squeal which was cut off almost instantly as she was hit with another spell, which silenced her.
Bess was scared. More scared than she'd been so far, even when faced with Regulus Black.
Her first instinct, after blind panic, was to hide her diary. She tucked it in to the waistband of her jeans quickly, pretending she was trying to keep her top from falling down.
"Look at the little Mudblood, trying to protect her modesty!" Jeered one of the boys stood in front of her.
There were three of them, and she recognised one - Severus Snape.
She pleaded with him with her eyes, but she knew it wasn't going to work - the only person he would stop this for was Lily, and Bess'd just asked for half an hour's peace. It couldn't have been ten minutes since she'd said that, and they were tucked round the side of the castle. Unless Lily told the boys she'd gone off, it could take hours for her to find her.
Another flash of light, and Bess' eyesight began to fade. She clutched her face as her eyes swelled shut. The conjunctivitis curse, she thought.
She couldn't speak, she couldn't see.
Reaching in to her back pocket, she felt for her wand as she listened to them laugh. She couldn't tell where they were, and if they'd moved from where they'd been standing when she'd last been able to see, then she'd definitely not be able to do anything, but if they'd been stupid... if they'd stayed where they were...
She pulled out her wand and pointed it in the direction of the laughs.
Thinking, and concentrating hard, she thought strongly of Petrificus Totalus, Locomotor Wibbly, Locomotor Mortis, over and over again, trying desperately to turn her wand in an arc so she could get them. She could still hear laughing, and she tried to think of something else to do.
She thought Aqua Eructo, and tried to focus on as much water as possible, like a tidal wave. She could tell it hadn't worked properly from the shouts, but she was clutching at straws.
Next, she tried Depulso, and grimaced as she heard a crunch as one of the boys slammed against the castle wall.
The boy she'd hit must have been the one who'd cast the Levicorpus spell, and she dropped in a heap to the floor.
They must have been dodging her spells or using shield charms, not thinking she'd actually be able to hit one of them.
She still couldn't speak or see, and she felt something hit her again, causing her to double over in pain, feeling as if her right side was on fire.
She didn't know what to do. She could hear what sounded like footfalls racing towards them, and the angry shouts of the remaining two boys in front of her.
She began to move her arms and legs, crab crawling backwards as fast as she could, her wand barely staying in her sweaty palm.
She knew that if the other person was coming to join the boys, she'd be done for.
"Stupefy!" Yelled the deep voice, and Bess winced, expecting the spell to hit her. Instead, nothing happened, and she remained where she had crawled to.
She could hear the remaining boy fighting the newcomer, but in the quickest of flashes, everything fell silent.
"Bess?" Asked the deep voice of Professor Selket. "Bess, can you hear me?"
Bess tried to say "that's just about all I can do," but she was still silenced, so she just pointed to her eyes and mouth.
Slowly, her vision began to come back as her eyes became unstuck, and the first thing she saw were three boys lying sprawled on the grass.
"Will they be okay?" Bess asked quietly.
"You were just attacked, and you're wondering if they'll be okay?" Selket asked in a surprised voice.
"I- I don't know what I was casting..."
"A fair few spells, but not many hit. That depulso was a work of genius, but I'd say you were at a right disadvantage..."
Bess thought back to that morning, when her disadvantage had been Sirius kissing her shoulder. That felt like years ago now.
"Can you stand?" He asked her.
When she nodded, he grabbed her under the elbow and pulled her upright.
"Just my ribs I think."
"Do you mind if I?" He asked, pointing to her side.
Bess shook her head and pulled up her top to reveal a gigantic bruise, stretching across her entire right side.
Selket cast a spell and Bess winced as a cool feeling tricked along the injury.
"It'll take a while to heal but you'll be fine."
"Thank you." Bess said quietly.
The pair, who were still panting from their efforts, faced each other.
"It won't be easy for me... you'll have to bare with me, but... I think you need to be in the classes. You got lucky today. I- I don't want to be the reason why you barely live to see graduation."
Bess simply nodded. She was under no illusions that her skills weren't too great, and she might not make it that far.
"Expelliarmus!" She cried, slapping her palm to her forehead.
"Sorry?" He asked in mild surprise.
"Sorry, I just... I could have just used expelliarmus. I just forgot..."
"Bess... that wouldn't have done anything."
You have no idea, she thought.
"Thank you. For... for letting me come to classes. I'll... I'll stay at the back and-" she said, before being cut off.
"No. You need to be front and center. These kids have years over you. I might have let my feelings, my trauma, get the better of me, but I need to teach you," he said, nodding as if trying to convince himself. "I may not be able to look at you, or have you answer questions, but... I need to teach you."
"Thank you."
Selket nodded and looked at the boys on the floor. "You'd better go. I need to report this to Dumbledore."
"I- can I just go back with you?" She asked, looking around and gulping.
"You're scared of more?" He asked, looking at her from the corner of his eye as he conjured stretchers and, with another flick of his wand, lifted the limp forms of Snape and the two other boys on to them.
Bess nodded and looked down.
"Fine. But I'll leave you at the Entrance Hall."
"Leave me in the Courtyard? Sorry, I just... don't want the whole school knowing."
"They'll find out soon enough." Selket said as they set off across the grass, heading towards the stone courtyard at the top of the hill. "I've heard you have trouble staying uninjured when you're outside..."
"Thank god I didn't take Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures!" Bess replied with a laugh.
She thought she heard Selket chuckle, but when she looked at him again he had a stern look on his face.
When Selket dropped Bess off at the courtyard, she waved a goodbye and sat down on one of the stone benches, trying not to grimace from the pain in her side.
Already alleviated somewhat, the pain was less, but still present when she moved.
She was just building the strength to stand and try and walk back to the common room for a lie down when Lily practically ran out of the doors, followed by Sirius and James.
"I really didn't think you liked those two..." Bess called to Lily, grabbing their attention - they'd been headed in the other direction and hadn't noticed her.
"There you are! Thank goodness! We just saw Selket walking in with Sev-"
"-Snivellus-" interjected James and Sirius, drowning out what Lily said next.
"-ine, yes, Snape. Anyway. I was worried they'd gone for you or something. You okay?" Lily asked, sitting down next to Bess.
"Yeah. Sorry, I should've listened to you. I just..." Bess said, trailing off.
"It's okay. We've all been a bit overbearing I think. Easy to forget you were on your own for months. It must be hard having no freedom, curfews, and us trying to protect you all the time."
Bess smiled at her friend and nudged her with her elbow. "You were right though..."
"About what, love?" Sirius asked as he sat down and flung an arm around Bess' shoulders.
She let out a groan of pain and winced, bringing her left hand to her right side and gripping her knee with her right hand, trying to squeeze something to stop the pain.
"Love... they attacked you?" Sirius asked.
"Looking on the bright side, Selket said I can join our Defence classes..." she managed to groan out.
"Let me see?" Sirius asked, moving to kneel in front of her.
Bess shook her head. "Selket healed it. He said it's just a bad bruise now. Just might take time to heal."
"Still. James and I have experience with bad bruises. Please let me take a look?"
Bess relented and nodded, pulling up her jumper and top. She didn't have time to feel self conscious, she was too busy thinking about the pain.
She heard James gasp, and when she looked up at him, she realised he wasn't just looking at the bruise.
"If- it just-" Bess stammered as Sirius began to poke her bruise with his wand, which was emitting what felt like little electric shocks to her side.
"Sorry love." He said as he continued.
Bess shook her head and smiled at him.
"The scar's just the continuation of the one on my right arm." She finally said, pointing at her arm and then her stomach.
"I'm so sorry." James said, looking incredibly upset.
"You should see my other arm..." Bess joked, but neither Sirius or Lily laughed. Lily stood and wrapped her arms around James' waist, and he pulled her in for a hug. Sirius just tensed his jaw and busied himself with her side.
"You don't seem surprised it's there..." she whispered to Sirius, pointing to the scar across her stomach.
He shook his head and sat back on his heels, pulling her top and jumper back down. Already, the pain had subsided and she could move easier.
"Potions. Do you remember when you gave Remus that chocolate bar? When I'd-"
"Yeah."
"Uh... when you ran in, you stripped off a bit and I was checking you out," Sirius said with a cheeky grin.
Bess raised an eyebrow.
"Come on love, very hard not to... anyway... I saw it when you took off your jumper. Your shirt rode up a bit..."
"I knew you were looking at me!" Bess said, smiling at Sirius, and trying not to shiver under his intense gaze.
"When does he not?" Lily asked with a laugh as she pulled away from James.
James, who looked like he'd won the lottery, smiled at Bess and said, "sorry, I didn't mean to stare."
She shook her head and turned to Sirius and whispered, "should I show him?"
The smile dropped from Sirius' face and his jaw tensed. "Up to you, love, but... James..." he said, biting his lip.
She nodded, and understood that he was trying to say yes, but didn't want to influence her, since it had taken so long for her to show him.
Bess sent James an apologetic look and lifted her left sleeve.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" James roared, staring down at her arm.
"See, that's what I thought your reaction would have been..." she whispered to Sirius.
"I didn't want to freak you out... I went upstairs and punched the shit out of the bathroom."
"That makes so much sense now," James said quietly, rubbing his chin as Sirius jumped up and put a hand on his shoulder.
Bess rolled her sleeve back down.
"Do you... have any more?" Lily asked in a whisper.
"Burn marks on my back but they're healing well. Otherwise no." Bess replied.
Lily gasped and put a hand over her mouth.
"We're fighting. When we leave school, we're fighting." James said with conviction.
Bess thought about the short story about James and Sirius when they were 17, running from police officers and Death Eaters on Sirius' motorcycle.
"It might be sooner than that..." she whispered.
Sirius reached down and took her hands, pulling her to standing and wrapping his arms around her. "I won't let them hurt you again."
"You can't promise that, Sirius. No one can." She whispered in to his chest.
"I can try."
Bess nodded and leaned up to press a kiss to his chin.
xXx
A/N: Sorry for the double upload, it wasn't showing up for me, so wanted to make sure it was working properly!
Argh, Bess and Sirius are melting my heart... I did write a version where they kissed, but I thought it was too early - she's still vulnerable and needs time.
Thank you for the reviews, Ghost Claw 001, Lavendor Queen, Guest - (I really enjoyed writing it too! I thought it might come across as Bess leading Sirius on, so wanted to show that he understands her, and he knows that she just needs time, but is happy with him. The ducks just popped in to my brain and I had to stop myself from laughing! How stupid would that look?! A guest called them Berius a while ago, but I really like your Besius as well! Short and snappy!), and CharlotteGryffindor!