The route to The Crawlspace that the family now seemed to use fairly regularly - that being the one Soos had swapped Shmebulock for - had long since lost its charm for Pacifica. Truth be told, she despised the fact they were going back down there, even if it was for the sake of Kevin Corduroy.

I mean, in the end, he made Mabel beyond happy and had helped with the whole Cankerblight and Bill thing - they kinda owed him. He was a good guy. Clearly thought the world of the kitten obsessed, sweater donning twin.

But she hated this place. It seemed like it was becoming a regular fixture for them to go back down there - to the increasingly decrepit wreck that they had caused.

Their lack of hindsight was what, in essence, had created this surge of miniature crime in the first place. She knew it, Dipper knew it, and Mabel knew it. They weren't dumb or arrogant enough to ignore the reality of the situation.

They had made a mistake, even if it was to out Cankerblight's little scam, and for the greater good, it had done little to benefit the town. After all, it had largely involved blowing up a street, mind wiping the mayor and causing a nearly week long blackout. Not exactly your typical heroism.

And what for? To get rid of some snow globes with a built in marketing strategy?

Man, when she thought of it like that, it was all kinda dumb.

"You alright?" Wendy asked her as she strolled confidently alongside.

"Yeah. Bad memories." Pacifica mumbled.

"Yeah, I get what you mean. Not the nicest place."

"Not the nicest people, either. If we're gonna get Kevin back, we'll probably have to get rid of the entire mob." Dipper said.

The radio sticky taped onto his arm crackled. "Dipper, try and reduce collateral damage. Not cause it."

"Ford," came the inevitable protest from Dipper, "These guys have captured one of us! We can't just pretend this stuff is okay! It could be one of us next time-"

"Yeah!" Mabel shouted. "And they might have ruined his hair!"

"If these guys are kidnapping guys and burning restaurants, they need dealing with." Wendy piped in. "And nobody messes with a Corduroy."

"Yeah, dude. You gotta get pictures for the shack too, dawg. Maybe, like, put 'em in some funny poses."

Everyone froze as, behind them, Soos was following, still in his Mr. Mystery uniform and carrying a soda can, as if it was nothing.

"Hey, dudes."

"Soos…" Dipper sighed and held the bridge of his nose. "Why are you-"

"Dude, you can't keep me outta a rescue mission. I'm like, rescue mission alpha. I can do this junk, and I've seen more movies." He took a long slurp of his soda. "Plus, Wendy didn't even book the day off. She knows that the gift shop is where the margins are. No gift shop? No openin' day."

"Dude, my brother is down there. Isn't that grounds for compassionate leave?"

"Dawg, if my Guinea pig was down here, it'd be compassionate leave. I think a missin' brother is like, super-compassionate leave. Like, if we get outta here, I'll give you like a six buck bonus."

"Six bucks?"

"Seven. On a Shack gift card. Don't be a schmuck, money don't grow on trees."

"Soos, are you listening to Stan on an earpiece?"

Soos blinked, festooned in wires with a radio antenna poking out of his Fez. A muffled, gravelly voice was saying 'code red' repeatedly in his ear. "Nawwww…"

At the end of the tunnel, there was a large, crude painting of the Crawlspace's wreckage, blocking the view of what laid beyond in a poster paint and watercolour doodle - one so poorly painted that even Mabel refused to entertain the idea of falling for it.

Pacifica blinked and cocked her head. "Um. Wow. I thought these guys were organised?"

"I mean, it's a pretty big painting." Mabel rubbed her chin as she took on her art critique expertise. "Gotta be pretty organised to paint that."

"This is like something a ten year old would have thought up." The Northwest heir replied, flicking her hair. It nearly went into Dipper's face, prompting him to flinch as if it was a whip. "What sort of mob tries to cover up their HQ with a giant drawing?"

"Bro, reminds me of them cartoons. With Smart A. Jackal tryna catch the Kiwi bird? Man, I used to love those guys."

"Guess the big man is a fan of cartoons." Dipper shrugged.

Wendy rubbed the back of her still aching head. "Well, what're we gonna do?"

"I'm not sur-"

"HEEEYAAH!" Shouted Mabel as she ran directly into the painting, ripping through the flimsy watercolour paper, armed with Wendy's axe, as if she was a viking invader storming through an English church.

"Well, I mean, I guess that works." Pacifica said, simply, strolling after Mabel's trail of carnage.

"I thought we were trying to be stealthy?!" Dipper tried to protest - but it was no good. Everyone walked past him contently - straight into another deserted, pitch black tunnel of…

Well, nothing.

The family stood still, trying to work out their next avenue, blinded by the pitch black conditions, no longer able to differentiate entrance to exit.

They fell into a fearful silence, scared to even step. Could there be a bottomless pit? A watch dog? Sharp spikes in the floor?

Soos was, as characteristic, first to break the tense silence. "Dude, any of you guys seen Minnesota Jones? The adventurer movies? He was in a tunnel like this. Might be useful."

"Yeah? What happened?"

"Well, it turned out to be full of venomous snakes- oh. Oh wait. No. Probably a-heh-probably a bad precedent, right dudes?"

Pacifica cringed. "Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes."

"Oh dude, you've seen it?!"

Pacifica was about to point out her remark was in earnest when a dim, golden light started to swing towards them from one of the dank tunnels beyond.

"Who goes there?"

Dipper recognised the voice immediately and cringed. He was pretty sure that was the last thing he needed. The gentle, Northern-European tones of Marius Von Fundhauser were unmistakable, and, to his ears, entirely unpleasant.

Of all the things Dipper had to deal with today, he was most against the idea of dealing with them alongside the handsome epaulet baron with a suspected Histrionic complex. He almost instinctively stepped in front of Pacifica, as if to guard her from the oncoming assault of charm.

The diminutive fortune-top-fiftier blinked as he emerged from view. He smiled warmly and stepped towards them. "The Pines! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

He bowed respectfully and offered a handshake. The reaction was most likely not what he was seeking.

Mabel's response was quick, visceral, and painful. She met Marius with a swift sock to the jaw.

THWACK!

"I could ask you the same thing, pretty boy!" She barked. "Where's Kevin?! Where are you keeping him?! Are you the big man?! How DARE you kidnap my boyfriend!"

Wendy recoiled with a surprised grin, immediately getting pumped up. "Boom! Show him who's boss, Mabel!"

Marius was wide-eyed and panicked. If he wasn't used to people standing up to him, he definitely wasn't used to chipper thirteen-year-olds punching his chin. He stared fearfully at her. "N-no! No, I swear! I just wanted to see this place for myself, that's all!"

"Yeah? Yeah?! Does Grenda know you're here?!"

"She doesn't-"

THWACK!

"How DARE you not tell Grenda about what you're doing!" Mabel shouted. "Why do all of you super-rich people stink?! - Sorry, Pacifica."

"No, no, you've got a point." The Northwest heir replied with a shrug.

"Y-you don't understand!" Marius stammered. "I had to keep Grenda out of this, for her safety! Please, please, let me explain!"

"How DARE you ask me to let you-" Mabel's fist, this time, was grabbed by Soos.

"Hambone, not that seeing people get punched isn't funny, but I think we should hear him out."

"T-thank you." Marius huffed, dusting down his jacket. "After we spoke at the club, Pacifica, your words, your stories - they awoke something within me-"

Dipper seethed and readied his own fist.

"They awoke memories, Pacifica! Reminded me that our names, our families, we were destined to make beautiful investments together!"

Pacifica raised an eyebrow and stared at the young magnate, completely bewildered - and not sure how she was meant to react to the strange master's ramblings. She could sense Dipper's ever-diminishing patience as equally as the group's diminishing discomfort.

She opted not to bring up the betrothment thing. Who knew how weird the guy would get over that stuff? If he didn't already know. That'd maybe explain his simpering nature and gushing over their families.

It was more irritating than it was particularly flattering. She kind of wanted to punch him in the jaw, herself.

"I think our families worked together to bring this wonderful project to life! I- I might finally discover more about my family name, Pacifica! And it'd be thanks to you and your wonderful family!"

"My family was not wonderful, Fundhauser. And believe me, if we were involved, you don't wanna know. Nothing good comes from it."

"I understand." Marius replied. "I, too, worry about not suiting their legacy. Perhaps we are but minor roles in a grand, grand heritage-"

"Man, I'm regretting telling 'em to hear him out." Soos muttered to Wendy.

"Come on, man." Wendy said out loud, with far less tact. "Get your head out of your butt! This place is nothing but bad news."

Marius continued with his fervour. He was clearly somebody with a knowledge of theatrics. "It may have fallen into the wrong hands, but we could make it great again! Polish it into a subterranean city, fit for a king! We just have to get rid of the unpleasantness!"

"Marius. This place isn't ours to take charge of." Dipper replied, his voice dripping with a deep-seated resentment. It seemed an octave lower and a whole world beyond his usual attitude. "You can't just wade in and try to take over this stuff, man, this is our territory!"

"Then why are you all here, if not reclaim it?"

"To find Kevin!" Mabel replied. "Duhh! How much more do I need to say it?!"

Marius winced as he rubbed his jaw. "A kidnapping? By who?"

"By a tiny mob." Pacifica replied, seemingly accepting - and submitting to - the ridiculous nature of the situation. "Y'know, fedora and cigar style. American Mobster."

Marius raised an eyebrow. "And...why would they kidnap this… Kevin?"

"We kinda traumatised one of their members, dude." Soos grinned. "Like, full on terror. We like, broke him, dawg."

"Ah. revenge. Well, I'll happily join in the rescue mission!" Marius beamed heroically, his hair floating in the breeze of the underground tunnels as he posed. "A Fundhauser never steps down from a fight for what's just!"

Dipper snorted and rolled his eyes. "Is that why you were so scared of my sister's fist?"

"I don't come into underground tunnels expecting to be attacked!" Marius protested.

"You often come into underground tunnels?"

Marius raised an eyebrow, the joke seemingly flying over him. "Well, I-"

"Come on, guys. Leave Mario Von Plumbhauser to think it over."

Pacifica, Mabel, Wendy and Soos exchanged concerned glances at Dipper's sudden change of temperament - but followed, obediently, into the darkness. Marius paused with his nose wrinkled, then took a deep, distinguished breath, wiped his epaulette and followed them - still rubbing his sore chin as the darkness wrapped around them, his bullseye lantern rocking back and forth as he navigated the rough-hewn floor below his fine leather boots.

The familiar, musty smell of The Crawlspace was already rising up the nostrils of those who knew it. The foreboding darkness, compared to the fear of what they might find, was almost a relief. A comfort.

As long as there weren't venomous snakes.