AN: I am so sorry about missing last week's update. I had a huge event at work, and it took up my ENTIRE weekend. However, I am proud of this chapter and I'm going to TRY and post a chapter in the next few days. I have 7 pages written so far, and my chapters are usually 20-25, so the next chapter is about 1/3 written.
Also, as a disclaimer. Any spells or magic I create that isn't somewhere out there on the HP universe is based on Latin. The seer, dream interpretation aspects are loosely based on what I know of Divination, but I have made up a lot of it.
I have had a lot of PM's asking me who my favorite character is. I'll answer here, but I've also responded privately as well. My favorite character is hard to pinpoint. I adore Alice because I've based her off a dear friend of mine, who views the world differently then most people. She's tough, brave, and a little abrasive but one of the most amazing people I know. I really like my version of James, especially because I feel like he's growing up. I've gotten a few negative thoughts on James, saying isn't nearly "James" enough, which I have understood to mean that he's not a tool. He definitely has his tool moments, especially in the chapters to come, but he's maturing and seeing the error of his previous ways. He's also desperately in love with Lily, which makes him change his whole personality. JK Rowling showed him writing LE all over his notes, assignments, and tests. To me, that means that he was completely besotted; besotted enough to specifically and purposely grow up to please the girl of his dreams. Wow. That was rant, sorry. I like Lily a lot, too, though I actually have the most difficult time relating to her. I think the character I most relate to is Marlene, but that doesn't necessarily make her my favorite. Plus, the seer stuff is a little out there. So, I haven't really answered your questions, but there's my answer.
Also, not that it really matters, but I've had several people ask me directly. I am a woman, not a man. Jo March is a penname I choose because I love the book Little Women. Jo March is my hero and I will never not strive to be her. If you have not read the book, I highly encourage you do!
Please review!
Dear Mr. Potter,
I am pleased to inform you that my Sanatio Animo procedure went well. It is too early for a conclusive prognosis, but our preliminary tests are extremely positive. Your mother has indicated that you will be your parents' caretaker when they are released. If their progress continues at this rate, they will be released within the next few weeks.
I've sent a letter of correspondence to the Headmaster and the Deputy Headmistress requesting your leave of absence from school. It should only be a few weeks before the term ends. They've both agreed on the terms that you complete your homework and send it in via owl.
Your parents should be able to write letters soon and will be able to update you on their progress themselves.
I will keep you informed. You should be very proud of your parents, Mr. Potter. Your parents are a part of extreme magical progress!
Warm Regards,
Healer Holloway
Sirius looked over the letter from the Potters' Healer he was clutching in his hands. He squared his shoulders and prepared for the uncomfortable conversation that would follow.
"Professor?" Sirius called softly.
Professor McGonagall looked up from the parchment she was grading. "Yes, Mr. Black?"
"I was wondering… if it would be alright if I went with James to take care of his parents?"
Professor McGonagall studied Sirius quietly. "Why do you wish to go, Mr. Black?"
"The Potters are the only real family I have, Professor." Sirius said quietly. He hadn't expected to feel this vulnerable, this exposed by this conversation. "I'm not sure if you heard, I left Grimmauld Place and have been living with the Potters."
"Very well." Professor McGonagall inclined her head. "You may go with Mr. Potter, though I'm not sure when that will be."
"Thank you, Professor."
"And Mr. Black." Professor McGonagall warned. "You are expected to complete your assignments by their deadlines. Your education will not suffer because of this. Am I clear?"
"Yes, Professor."
The Cottage was lovely; it had a very warm cozy air to it. Marlene could instantly tell that the people who lived here were good people. It was one of her immediate instincts, but she trusted it. She thought she was somewhere in Godric's Hollow, but she couldn't be certain. She'd only visited it a few times in her life, and she'd certainly never seen this cottage before.
Marlene opened the door; she knew instantly that she was meant to go inside. The boy was there – he'd been visiting her a lot lately. Marlene wasn't sure if it was her imagination or just her brain's desire to fill in his nondescript features, but she was certain that his person was becoming more visible.
Professor Montgomary said this was natural. Her soul was reaching out and making a connection with her guide, who was showing her important events for the future. As she and the guide learned to trust each other, they would grow to know one and other.
He had dark hair, black Marlene thought. He was looking at her seriously, and Marlene thought he might have brown eyes, though she might be projecting.
Whatever his physical features were, he led her into a room, and up the stairs, into a nursery. Once in the nursery, the feeling of the house changed drastically. A cold chill ran through Marlene. She realized why at once, the ceiling and roof were completely missing from the top of the house. The charming cottage was gone. Now Marlene was standing in a cottage that had been destroyed. It appeared the heart of its destruction had taken place in this very room, the nursery.
Cool night air touched her skin, and Marlene shivered. It was October, she knew instinctively, just not when or where. She looked at the boy, willing him to give her more information.
The boy was looking at her intently, as if this place was of grave significance, as if she was supposed to understand something from the scene around her. Marlene looked closely around the room, for a sign of anything she recognized, for a sign of anything that would make her understand.
It appeared that everything had been destroyed. A crib remained intact, but it was empty. No child, blankets, or anything insight. The walls were covered in vines and mold; the house had been abandoned for many years. There was nothing, nothing in this room to help make Marlene understand.
"What?" Marlene demanded. "Why is this important? Tell me!"
The boy simply looked at her, startled by her outburst.
Marlene blinked. The boy and the cottage were gone. She was once again standing in Professor Montgomary's office. She was still cold, though she could no longer smell the cool October air.
"Well?" The Professor prompted.
"I was in a beautiful cottage. My guide led me up the stairs to a nursery. When I entered the nursery, the cottage was no longer lovely, but destroyed in some sort of explosion. There was an empty crib and I was standing in a broken house."
"And?"
"And nothing. It was cold. My guide stared at me." Marlene deadpanned. "That's it."
"Your guide is trying to communicate with you." Montgomary chided. "You have to be open to receiving his message."
"I am open." Marlene said defensively. "His messages don't make sense."
"Or we are just missing key information." Montgomary insisted.
There was a pause, as both professor and student attempted to decipher what they could possibly be missing. Neither came up with any real theories.
"Have you ever seen this cottage before?" Montgomary asked.
"No."
"Did you know where the cottage was?"
"Not for certain. But I thought perhaps Godric's Hollow. I couldn't be sure, though."
"Trust your instincts, Marlene!" Montgomary demanded.
"I do. I don't think this was an instinct, just a thought."
"Do you know when you were?"
"Definitely the future." Marlene said promptly. She had started seeing past events, which was cool, she supposed, but rather unhelpful in her endeavors. "October, though I don't know of what year."
The questions continued in this vein, though Marlene seriously doubted that these questions were giving Montgomary any insight. The cottage was important, the place was important, too, but without more information she couldn't tell why.
Marlene's head was pounding. Professor Montgomary eventually stopped asking question and took pity on her, handing her a potion for her head.
"Take five minutes." Montgomary instructed. "We will begin again shortly."
Marlene excused herself, heading towards the loo. It would be tricky getting to the loo and back in five minutes, but she needed a few minutes to compose herself. Over the last month, Marlene and Montgomary had tested the bounds of Marlene's abilities. She was able to project herself through time and space, as Montgomary had suggested she could, but she had very little control over where and when she landed.
Montgomary said she had connected with a guide, the boy, and that he would show her important events. As her gift grew stronger, so would her connection with her guide. Guides were special, according to Montgomary, and usually had a connection to their seers, especially ones who used dreams as their medium. Most likely, her guides, who she had taken to calling Alexander. Montgomary suggested that this was her connection with her guide, that she knew his name.
Marlene wasn't sure she believed that, but she was learning that her gift was much more that she had originally thought. If she could know the month simply by how the air smelled, she supposed she could just instinctively know the name of her guide. Perhaps her guide was her great-great-great-great grandson or something. Or even better, perhaps it was her great-great-great-however-many-greats- grandfather seer. This was a Divination theory, not just mere speculation, which Marlene found fascinating.
The gift of the sight was often passed down through generations. It could often be dormant for many generations, only to reappear several generations down the line, usually in times of great peril. Perhaps her ancestor was guiding her, helping her to find the path, to stop a great danger in her time.
Marlene returned from the restrooms and felt refreshed. The potion for her headache had worked wonders. It had given her renewed strength and energy as well.
"Shall we continue?" Montgomary asked.
"Sure." Marlene nodded. Montgomary handed her a Posterum potion, which she drank slowly. She had learned the hard way that Posterum was meant to be sipped, not gulped. The aftereffects of drinking Posterum too quickly were awful – headaches which lasted days, nausea, vomiting, and a feeling of despair which sometimes last for three to four nights.
Once she had drank the entire potion, Marlene closed her eyes. Montgomary hummed softly in the background. They had learned this helped Marlene block out the world around her and allowed her access into different times.
Marlene focused on the humming, letting the sounds and vibrations fill her body. She focused entirely on her toes, breathing heavily. She imagined lead filling her toes, physically weighing them to the ground. She moved to her shin, and then up her body, until her entire body was pinned to the ground heavy and drowsy. She let her mind go next, allowing it to leave body, knowing that it was safely weighed down.
Montgomary assured Marlene that this wasn't actually happening – it was just her minds way understanding what was happening to her. She needed something she understood, so she conjured up this imagine. It felt incredibly real to Marlene, but she hadn't argued the point.
There was darkness. Marlene didn't fear the darkness, it was an old friend. It greeted her with warmth, surrounding her with a light pressure of comfort. Lights began to flicker past her. She had thought she could grab a light, her first time with the darkness, but it wasn't possible. Either she or the lights were moving too quickly. By the time she reached out, it was already gone.
Marlene assessed her surroundings, attempting to capture every detail, though she quickly realized that it wasn't exactly necessary. She knew where she was: The Gryffindor Common Room.
She looked around the room, it looked pretty much the same as her present-day time, though she doubted much had changed over the centuries at Hogwarts. She could literally be in any time period. The portrait hole opened, admitting two students.
Again, Marlene immediately recognized the students. She couldn't be too far off in the future, she determined, because James and Lily were standing in front of her, so she had to roughly within a year's timeframe of her present day, as they would graduate in a year and a half.
This was a first for Marlene, seeing people she knew, excepting her dream on the night that she had sought out Professor Montgomary's help.
"Then stay with me, Lily. You don't have to move home!" James exclaimed, bringing Marlene's thoughts back to the scene unfolding around her.
Lily didn't look pleased with that suggestion. "James, do you think that's wise?" Her voice was soft. Marlene knew that voice, it was the voice Lily used when she was attempting to deliver bad news in a gentle manner.
"What do you mean wise?" James demanded. He was looking at Lily in a way that Marlene had seen hundreds of times, as if he couldn't possibly understand the girl before him.
"We haven't been dating long…" Lily trailed off.
"Eight months!" James countered quickly.
"Do you think we're ready to live together?" Lily asked. Marlene knew Lily well enough to know that there was something more to this question.
"Lily, I'm not trying to pressure you. You can have your own room. In a completely different wing of the house. I only meant that you said you can't go home, which I completely understand. You also said you wanted to fight, and all I'm doing is offering you is an easy option."
"James…"
"What Lily?" He looked a little deflated.
"Did it every occur to you, that I can't accept living off of you?" Lily asked. "It doesn't feel right."
"Why not? I have more than I could ever need or want. The boys are going to live off of my money, too. We're going to fight Lily, to put an end to this war. How can you find a career right now to support yourself? Most places won't even take the risk of hiring you at the moment."
Lily looked upset. "I know you're right, but I always planned to work for living…" She sounded sad.
"That's what we are fighting for, Lily." James said. "You know, if you'd let me, I'd give you anything you wanted. I'd change the world for you, if I could. We might not have jobs in the most technical sense, but Lily, we will be working to put an end to the Death Eaters! We'll be the resistance, the rebellion that puts an end to the 'Dark Lord.'" James smiled at Lily. "I promise you, twenty years from now, no one will have anything to say about how Lily Evans was supported by James Potter. We'll be known for changing history, for saving the world. Mark my words, Lils."
Lily believed him; Marlene could tell. She smiled back at him, stepping into his embrace. Despite the loving scene in front of her, Marlene felt an overwhelming sadness.
"Or we'll die trying." Lily added softly. She did not sound afraid or upset. Her voice had an underlying firmness to it, despite the soft tone. Lily accepted this as a fact, as a very real possibility. She would die for her cause, lay down her life in order to stop Lord Voldemort.
It was odd, Marlene reflected. The two wizards in front of her were so close in time to the Lily and James she knew, but they seemed different. The fact that they were dating wasn't so unsurprising, but more the way they carried themselves. Lily was more confident; her shoulders were held higher. Despite the impending war, she seemed happier. James was more open, but perhaps that was Lily's affect. He gravitated to Lily – though that wasn't new – in a way that demonstrated his devotion to Lily specifically. He looked more solemn, as well.
One second, Marlene was staring at Lily and James and then she blinked, only to be looking at Professor Montgomary again.
"Well?" He asked.
"I'm not certain what relevance this vision had." Marlene said softly. "I saw a couple, discussing the upcoming war."
"The upcoming war? What about it?" Montgomary demanded.
"Nothing terribly informational." Marlene said.
"You're hiding something." Montgomary accused.
He was right, of course. It just felt wrong to Marlene. Wrong that she had witnessed… whatever it was that she witnessed. Lily and James were certainly not a couple in the present day, and Marlene was certain that Lily would not be happy if she knew her future self was dating James Potter. They might have developed a close friendship, but Marlene Lily well enough to know that Lily's feelings for James were platonic. Future Lily's feelings clearly weren't platonic, however. Future Lily and James were very clearly in love, although Marlene seriously suspected that present James was also in love.
Either way, it was absolutely none of her business and she was completely uncomfortable knowing this information. Whatever Lily and James relationship was or will be was entirely up to them. Knowing that they could get together could very well change the future. Or, if Marlene let something slip, she could spook Lily out of ever admitting her feelings for James and could alter the future entirely.
"I really don't see how its important." Marlene insisted.
"Regardless, it could be." Montgomary inclined his head, giving Marlene a stern look.
"Fine." Marlene mumbled. "Lily Evans and James Potter were discussing moving in together after they graduated so that they could fight against the Death Eaters. Lily was nervous about living off of James' wealth and wondered if moving in after only dating eight months was wise."
"That's it?"
"James vowed to change the world for Lily.. Lily said she'd die for the cause." Marlene responded.
"Do you know when this vision occurred?"
"Sometime in the next year and a half, as they hadn't graduated yet."
"Did anything seem out of place or unexpected?" Montgomary asked.
"Other than Lily dating someone she once swore to hate for all eternity, no."
"Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans don't get along?" Montgomary questioned.
"They do now, but certainly even you heard their massive rows for the past two years?" Marlene rolled her eyes.
"Everything has to be connected." Montgomary stated. He sighed. "Well record your visions in your journal and clone your memories. We'll try again next week."
Marlene did what she was told, though she felt completely unsatisfied with the whole conversation.
"Is it possible that I'm seeing Lily and James' futures because I'm connected to them, and not because they are apart of the 'approaching peril?'" Marlene asked.
"It is possible." Montgomary confirmed. "Though it is also likely that they are somehow connected. One small act which may not seem important now may shape the future in ways we cannot forget. It may be possible that you've tapped into their future because you care about your friends. It is equally as likely, however, that something happens in the future because they are living together."
"Like what?" Marlene asked sarcastically. "Sorry but I refuse to believe our dating lives affect the future."
"And what if Lily and James have a child who ultimately changes the world with a magical discovery? Or what if Lily breaks up with James and he goes mad with grief, and uses his wealth, influence, and power to take revenge on her, which ultimately changes the course of time. The possibilities are endless, McKinnon."
"Do you really think any of that is likely?" Marlene quipped.
"Anything is possible. If you told me, during my sixth year at Hogwarts that I'd end a Divination Professor giving private lessons to a cheeky sixteen year old girl, I would have laughed in your face and told you that I was destined to be a Quidditch star." Montgomary laughed. "Life is unpredictable. It may feel predictable at times, but don't be fooled. You never truly know anyone until you see them at their darkest hour. I don't need to remind you that there is a war coming. You don't need to be skilled at Divination to know that many people will make choices, choices you won't agree with and would never expect them to make. People can be capable of terrible things when they're desperate."
Marlene couldn't think of anything to say in response to that, so she started to collect her things. Professor Montgomary stopped Marlene on her way out.
"I'm very impressed with, Ms. McKinnon. I know we are both frustrated, and we don't understand what it all means, but you've shown remarkable improvement. If you keep this up, you'll be the most celebrated seer of the century."
Marlene beamed at the compliment. His words didn't fix her confusion, but it did feel good to be told she was doing something right, at least. Marlene grabbed a potion for her head and left his office.
Mary and Lily still weren't speaking. It wasn't for lack of trying. Lily had apologized. She said she pushed Mary and that hadn't been fair. She said she understood why Mary was angry, that she wanted to be a better friend.
Mary wondered how it was possible to know you were wrong, yet still cling to your convictions. Lily had done nothing wrong, and still she apologized. She had promised to do whatever Mary needed, as long as they'd be friends again. Still, Mary could not let go of her grudge.
Mary knew she was being unfair, and that Lily was being the bigger person. Yet she could not let go over the anger she held towards Lily. Lily had done nothing wrong, other than not be attacked. Mary felt unsafe and unwanted in the wizarding world. Lily, somehow managed to be safe. She was being stupid and jealous and frankly childish, but Mary could not help but resent Lily.
Lily had been so worried when Mary had been attacked. Mary could see it on Lily's face, could see the worry in Lily's eyes. Lily and Marlene had spent the entire night in the hospital with Alice and Mary, sleeping in chairs next to their cots. When Mary woke up, Lily practically ran to her side, throwing her arms around her friend. She had cried, apologized, and fussed over her wellbeing.
Still Mary could not bring herself to forgive her best friend.
The tension had only grown since October. The dorm was uncomfortable to be in when Lily and Mary were present. Alice and Marlene had refused to get involved, telling their friends that they needed to work it out. Lily had cried, though Mary knew that she wasn't supposed to have heard her cry. It had been late, and Lily had drawn the curtains around her bed.
Lily avoided the dorm room when she could. Even this was a kindness to Mary. Yet still, Mary could not forgive. The bitterness was consuming Mary. It had gotten to the point that even Mary knew.
Mary wasn't sleeping. She spent almost all of her free time with Reg, studying in their secret spot: the unused classroom in the Astronomy Tower. The room had an amazing view of the stars. When the pair got tired of studying and their endless homework assignments, they would gaze at the stars. They'd find shapes in the constellations, laughing at each other's ridiculousness.
Reg would sneak them food, so Mary didn't have to deal with sitting at the Gryffindor table. Lily and the Marauders were practically inseparable, and with Marlene and Alice pointedly staying out of the drama, Mary was left sitting by herself. She knew it was her fault, but it still hurt. It was still incredibly lonely.
Reg, however, was her saving grace. They spent all of their free time together. He hadn't said anything about making up with Lily or accused her of being unfair. He listened when she discussed her feelings, sympathizing but not saying much more than comforting words.
Its not like she didn't still see or even have relationships with Marlene and Alice. Alice and Mary sat together in Divination, they laughed and joked around. Nothing had changed when it was the two of them. Mary's relationship with Marlene, however, had become rather strained. Marlene didn't lecture Mary about making up with Lily, but somehow their relationship had become stiff.
Marlene disappeared for hours on end, not telling anyone where she went. When she returned, she was anxious, distant, and moody. Something serious was obviously affecting Marlene, but Marlene wouldn't open up to Mary. Despite everything, Mary and Marlene had always had a different friendship than the rest of the girls. They just understood each other. A look could be understood even if they were across the room. They were always in sync, always on the same page.
Somehow, they had fallen out of sync. Mary complained that Marlene disappeared, that she was keeping secrets from her. Marlene wondered how Mary even noticed, seeing as she spent all of her time with Reg Cattermole. Marlene asked if Reg was her best friend, and if he had replaced her.
Both girls were deeply hurt and unable to express their feelings of helplessness and despair. By November, the two girls had stopped fighting altogether. Their conversations were about the weather, upcoming homework assignments, and Quidditch matches. Even Quidditch conversations were limited. Marlene was on the team, but Mary could only listen to so many stories about how great of a captain James Potter was. Mary had been excited for Marlene after they had won the first match against Ravenclaw. But James Potter, and quidditch by extension – because James Potter was practically the embodiment of Quidditch at Hogwarts – soon became a sore spot between Marlene and Mary.
James was practically Lily's shadow these days. Gone were the days of screaming matches and proclamations of unrequited affection. Lily and James' newfound friendship baffled and upset Mary. Marlene couldn't understand why. Mary didn't know why it bothered her so much, either, except for the comment Lily made on the train in September.
Mary was miserable. It was obvious. She'd lost one of her best friends due to her own pettiness and her relationship with another friend felt like it would never be the same. Is this what it meant, Mary wondered, to grow older? To accept the world as an unfair, unsafe place? To grow out of friendships and away from the people you care about? To realize the world will never be on your side, that you'll never be the person people fight for?
"When do you leave?" Lily asked.
"I'm not sure yet." James said. "I don't want to study in the library tonight. Let's go somewhere else."
"I can't study in the common room with you." Lily snapped. "Your presence turns the entire common room into a circus."
"I do not!" Though James couldn't hide his smirk.
"You're a pompous git, you know that?"
"Have you been fed recently?" James enquired. "You get a little snappish when you haven't been properly fed."
"I do not!" Lily snapped again.
James raised his eyebrows knowingly but didn't argue. He really did not want to fight with Lily. He was extremely worried about his parents and couldn't shake the feeling that "Healer Holloway" was scamming his parents. He wanted her sympathy and support. Fighting would simply take away the last remaining energy he had.
"How about we go to the kitchens and grab a quick snack. Then I will take you to my super-secret study spot."
"Super-secret study spot?" Lily quirked a disbelieving eyebrow at him.
"I promise you'll like it." James smiled warmly at Lily and Lily felt herself caving in. James sensed his victory and picked up Lily's bag.
"Merlin, Lily," James exclaimed as he rounded the corner, leading Lily to the kitchens. "Do you stuff rocks in this bag?"
"If you are regretting carrying it, you could always, I don't know, give me back my bag." Lily rolled her eyes.
"What sort of gentleman would I be if I let pretty girls carry their own bags?" James smiled at Lily triumphantly.
This had become Lily and James' game. James would flirt shamelessly with Lily, toeing the line between friendly and friendlier. He'd indirectly call her beautiful, pretty, talented, or intelligent. He even went as far as to call her extremely fit, though that hadn't gone over very well.
Lily had three approaches to his flirting, depending on the day, where they were, or who they were with. Her most common response was to insult James. Usually this was done in a playful or joking manner, although there had been a few times when he'd crossed the line or was so blatantly obvious that his flirting couldn't be ignored – such as when he called her extremely fit (although he may have also used the words "undeniably sexy" in the same sentence as well) – where her insults where genuine and borne out of anger.
Her second response, though not as common as her insults, was to simply ignore the flirting. James wasn't sure if he was being too subtle (any observer could tell him he was certainly not subtle, if he cared to ask) or if she was purposely ignoring it. James guessed it was the latter.
Her third response, and the rarest, was to blush. This was James' favorite response because Lily was truly lovely when she was blushing. He suspected that she blushed when the compliments were truly genuine. When he told her that she was the most brilliant witch he'd ever met, she had blushed a deep scarlet, though he hadn't really been flirting; he honestly believed she was the most brilliant witch he'd even met.
"You're not a gentleman." Lily reminded James. Ah, so she went with the playful insult.
"I'm not?" James asked, grinning.
"You, sir, are a marauder and a scoundrel to boot."
"I think you're trying to insult me, Lils, but I actually rather like that description." James smirked. "A scoundrel. Now that has a nice ring to it."
Lily laughed. They were nearing the kitchens. Lily and James visited the kitchens together regularly. Before this year, Lily hadn't known where the kitchens were located. Now, however, the house elves knew Lily by first name. They greeted the pair with "Master James and Lily" and began preparing their favorites, placing them in a basket. While the house elves gathered their meal, the pair went back to bickering playfully.
"I'm not surprised that you like being christened a scoundrel. I suppose you and Sirius would take it as a compliment."
"Especially coming from you," James teased.
Lily rolled her eyes instead of responding. She accepted the basket of food from the house elves and let James lead her to their destination. He tried to carry the basket as well, but Lily would not allow him to take it from her, insisting that he was already carrying her incredibly heavy bag.
"So where exactly are you taking me?" Lily asked, changing the subject.
"I can't ruin the surprise!" James smiled at Lily. He'd been doing that a lot lately around Lily, as well. Not smirking condescendingly or cockily or even grinning, but genuinely smiling at Lily.
Lily liked that about James. He was open and honest with his feelings, even when they made her a little uncomfortable. Ever since their fight outside the Hospital Wing, James had been openly flirting with Lily. Though Lily chose to mostly ignore the flirting, Lily supposed it was her fault. She had been the one to call out James' feelings, which she honestly wasn't sure existed until he confirmed it in the heat of their argument. Since then, James had started dropping little hints, without being pushy. Their friendship essentially remained the same. He just complimented her, almost constantly.
Marlene told her it was because of the letters she had given him. He hadn't given them all back when he'd returned them. He'd only given back the letters he'd written her. He kept all of the letters that she'd written him and hadn't sent. When Lily questioned James, he'd told her that he was the intended recipient, so he should get to keep them. Then he showed her that he'd kept all of her letters as well.
Marlene said that whether Lily meant it that way or not, James definitely took the letter keeping as a romantic gesture. Lily had protested saying that she kept all of her friends' letters because they were a tie to her magical life when she was at home. True as that may be, giving the letters to James had definitely been a gesture. Lily asserted that it was a gesture of friendship, but Marlene had laughed and asked if she'd ever met James Potter before.
Flirting or no, Lily and James' friendship had remained very amicable. James referred to Lily as one of his best friends. Lily and the marauders, particularly Lily and James, spent quite a bit of time together. Lily never referred to James as one of her best friends, but it was clear, even to Lily that he was. They had taken to studying together, whether in the company of their other friends or just the two of them, on most nights. They sat next to each other in most of their classes and at meals. James waited for Lily in the morning to head to breakfast. Lily wasn't ready to openly admit how strong their friendship was, but she really didn't need to, as it was pretty clear to everyone surrounding them.
They came to stop in front of a corridor on the seventh floor. Lily looked at James quizzically.
"Okay, you have to promise me something." James said.
"What?" Lily asked wearily.
"You can't ask questions." James said. "Just go with it. I promise it will make sense in a minute."
"Sure." Lily said, rolling her eyes again at James.
"Close your eyes." Lily did as instructed. "I want you to picture the perfect studying location. What would it look like? Think of everything that you could possibly need or want. Okay, can you picture it?"
"Yes," Lily said smiling.
"Perfect. Now I want you to open your eyes and pace back and forth three times while thinking about the perfect study space."
Lily started to question but James stopped her, reminding her that she had promised him. Lily did as he said, feeling incredibly stupid. The feeling quickly evaporated, however, when a set of double doors suddenly appeared in front of her.
"Let's go inside." James said, smiling again.
"Inside where?" Lily asked, perplexed, though she opened the door and peered inside.
Inside the room was everything Lily imaged and more. It wasn't a big space, but rather had a cozy feeling to it. There was a fire, several sofas and comfortable looking desks and desk chairs. Off to the right there were several shelves of books with titles that were perfectly suited to the subjects at hand. Off to the left, there was a long table with an assortment of quills and ink.
"How?" Lily asked.
"Magic, of course." James smirked. He stopped smirking, though, when Lily smacked him. "Not too bad, Evans. I'm impressed."
"So this room… it just creates whatever you wish for?" Lily asked.
"The house elves call it the 'come and go room' but its also know as the Room of Requirement. If someone walks by three times in a row thinking of exactly what they need, the room will provide that person with, well, exactly what they need. In this case a very cozy room to study in."
James set the snacks out on the table. Lily spread out on the sofa, motioning for James to join her.
"Potions, Charms, Arithmancy, or Transfiguration first?" Lily asked.
"None of the above." James groaned. "Why do we have so much homework?"
"Let's start with our group assignments." Lily suggested.
"Fine. I will work on Transfiguration and you can work on Potions. We can finish two projects at the same time."
"Agreed, but you should work on Potions and I should work on Transfigurations, and then we can switch when we are done to check the others' work. How else are we actually supposed to learn?" Lily asked.
"I see the logic in your suggestion, but I kind of hate it." James said, though he took out his potions book and started working on the assignment.
They worked in silence. After about forty-five minutes, Lily announced that she had finished the Transfiguration assignment. James nodded, as he was wrapping up with the Potions essay. They switched assignments, reading through the others' work, occasionally making minor corrections.
When they were finished, James suggested they take a break.
"It hasn't even been an hour!" Lily laughed.
"Yes, but we've completed two out of our four assignments! Plus, we have snacks."
Lily was persuaded by the snacks and allowed James to bring her several treacle tarts. They ate in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Lily broke the silence.
"Do you want to talk about your parents or would you rather not?" Lily said.
James liked that about Lily. She was direct and to the point. He loved that she didn't hold back, just asked him what he wanted. It's a part of what made his friendship so easy with Lily. She would tell him her honest opinion and expect the same from him.
"I'm worried." James said simply.
"I know." Lily said. "But Sirius is coming with you and the Healer's letter said they were doing really well."
"I know." James sighed. "I know, but I don't think I believe it until I see it."
Lily put her hand on James' shoulder comfortingly. He leaned into her hand gently. This was another reason their friendship worked so well; James mused. Because Lily always seemed to be able to sense whatever James needed. He wanted to hear comforting words and reassurances, so that's what she said.
"I'm going to miss you." Lily said quietly, surprising herself. She'd been thinking it and said it out loud without thinking.
"I'll miss you, too." James said smiling. "It'll probably be a whole month before I see you again." James' smiled disappeared at that thought.
"Only for a few weeks. Once break starts, I'll come visit you. If you want, of course." Lily didn't meet James' eye.
"Of course, I want you to come visit." James said, as he turned to face her.
"Then its settled," Lily said with a bright smile. "I'll come visit you on the first day of break."
James wanted so badly to tell her, although at this point, he was fairly certain she already knew. It was moments like these, though they didn't happen often, where James wondered if Lily might possibly return his feelings.
Most of the time, he knew without a doubt that she didn't return his feelings. And that was okay, James reminded himself, because being her friend was perfectly fine. She was a great friend and he enjoyed her company immensely. But occasionally she said things "I'm going to miss you" and "I'll come visit you" that made James -well maybe wonder wasn't the right word - hope.
Hope could be dangerous when it came to Lily Evans. James knew this from the countless rejections and insults that had been hurtled his way over the years. Hope made him desperately crave things he couldn't have and kept him up at night. Hope made him scribble Lily's initials on his notes and exams. Hope made him think about what their first date would be like or what it would feel like to kiss her.
Hope made being Lily's friend nearly impossible, something that he could not let happen because he really valued Lily's friendship.
Remus sat in his room, looking at the Marauder's Map. He was scanning the map, looking for his friends. Lily and James had disappeared into the Room of Requirement about an hour ago. They had been spending a lot of time together lately. James was ecstatic about it and was always telling stories about Lily. Remus was happy for James, he really was, except that Lily and Remus always used to study together.
Now he had to resort to studying with Peter or Sirius. Neither boy ever actually wanted to study or do homework, which meant working with either one of them was a disaster. He had tried studying with Alice, who took her studies very seriously. Even more seriously, it appeared, than Remus did. Her study techniques were intense and usually resulted in panic attacks. Which left Remus to study with Marlene.
Marlene would have been the perfect study partner: she was intelligent but not too intense, she took excellent notes, and she preferred the quietest places to study, like Remus. There was one small issue, however. Remus, despite the fact that he had known Marlene since they were eleven years old, he couldn't seem to stop paying attention to her rather than their homework.
Marlene was one of the prettiest girls at Hogwarts, even if she didn't know it. She was also unfailingly kind. Plus, she had confined in him, she was training to be a seer. He was fairly certain he was the only one who knew. Lily never mentioned it, although he hardly ever saw Lily anymore…
Marlene confined in Remus a lot. He sincerely enjoyed studying with Marlene. It would have been perfect; except he was having trouble getting his homework done when he was around her. They ended up talking or he ended up staring.
Remus would forget when he was with Marlene, and he couldn't afford to do that. He was a werewolf. Wereworlfs didn't get to have crushes on pretty girls. Most werewolfs didn't get to go to school and have friends, either. He was incredibly lucky with what he had, and he needed to stop reaching beyond his means.
Besides, Marlene had shown no great interest in him. She liked to study with him, but that was it. She constantly told him how good of a friend he was, always listening to her problems.
She talked about Mary a lot, as well. She was angry Mary was spending all of her time with Reg Cattermole, who Marlene had nothing against (or so she repeatedly told Remus). She obsessed over whether or not Mary and Reg were dating. Mary assured Marlene that they were not dating, whenever Mary and Marlene actually had a successful conversation. The two girls' conversations had, apparently, gotten rather tense, and it clearly really upset Marlene. She missed her friend, she'd complain. The attacks had changed Mary, and Marlene couldn't do anything to help. Gone was Marlene's sweet, unassuming, loving demeanor. It had been replaced with by someone bitter, who had no time for Marlene.
Or so Marlene said. And Remus should know, Marlene talked about it A LOT.
Remus was beginning to wonder if perhaps the real reason that Marlene had shown "no great interest in him" was because her heart had already been given to another, namely Mary McDonald.
It was a ridiculous thought, especially in Wizarding London in 1967. If it were true, Marlene would be persecuted. Pureblood witches were supposed to find nice, pureblood wizards to settle down and start a family with. They weren't supposed to bother with silly things, such as jobs, as their family fortunes should be able to support them (or, if not their family fortunes, then their husbands' family fortunes).
If Marlene were to fancy Mary – an idea that Remus had completely made up in his own head, he reminded himself – the wizarding world at large would not accept Marlene. Not that he personally had anything against same sex couples, because he didn't. He, of all people, understood what it was like to have people hate you for the way that you were, for things you couldn't change about himself. He just wished, desperately, for Marlene's sake that he was wrong because he wanted nothing more than for Marlene to be happy and safe. He feared, if he was right, that she would be neither.
Remus looked around the room, realizing how late it had gotten as he had lost himself in his own thoughts. He had come to a conclusion, however: he had to end these feelings for Marlene. It didn't matter the reason, he could no longer fancy Marlene.
She didn't return his feels and he was a werewolf. There was no future for them. He knew that.
Despite or really, because of his newfound resolutions, he chose to study with Alice. Finding her name in the library. She was alone – no one particularly enjoyed studying with Alice because of her intensity – and he picked up his books and headed to the library to go study with her.
He could only study for an hour, a good thing really, because he had to meet Lily for rounds. He brightened at the thought. He barely saw Lily these days, and their rounds would be a great way to catch up and to see if he could pry any information about James out of her. They were both being very tight lipped about their friendship, which made Remus very suspicious that something more than friendship was happening.
Alice smiled at his arrival, delighted that she now had someone to study with. It was a good thing he came, she assured him, because she needed someone to test her on the different types of poisons and cures for Potions. Remus stifled a groan and joined his friend at her table.
After they had agreed to stop the attacks, Severus' life had gotten less stressful. He no longer had to worry about Lily finding out about his involvement in the attacks. In fact, he was debating not telling her at all. He still had his Draught of Peace potion and was waiting for the perfect moment to approach Lily.
He was no longer forced into situations he didn't want to be, such as torturing Cruz. It had been odd, Severus reflected. The amount of power he needed to perform the Cruciatus Curse. He had to draw on so much hatred, so much anger. He had the anger and hatred inside of him, of course, but it shocked him that it had taken so much out of him. He'd felt empty when it was over, which surprised him even more.
He wasn't worried about Cruz; Cruz was nothing to him. Yet there was a nagging feeling in his stomach when he thought about cursing Cruz. It was wrong. He had always known it was wrong, it was Dark Magic. That went without saying. But Severus had never really had any qualms about using Dark Magic before. He had even invented his own Dark Magic curses, scribbled in his textbooks, waiting for the right moment to be used.
He realized something, while he was torturing Cruz: he didn't want to be. It wasn't like he had no "stomach for it", like Bertram Aubrey's father when he had been tasked with killing a muggleborn. They had killed him, the Death Eaters, for being unable to complete his task. Severus knew he could, he had the power and ambition to do so, but he didn't want to.
The Death Eaters, under the advice of Evan Rosier, were interested in Severus Snape for two reasons. Severus knew this because Evan had told him. Even if Evan hadn't, it wasn't that hard to guess. Severus knew his two true talents were potions and spell work. He was excellent at dueling as well. Evan's father had already asked him to brew the Draught of Living Death and Armotentia to prove his worth. He'd been most impressed that Severus had successfully brewed the potions correctly.
He'd been working on a new potion for Mr. Rosier currently, or at least working on correcting the side effects of an old potion. Severus had never heard of the potion before Mr. Rosier had asked him to make it. Even more curious, he wasn't particularly sure what it was supposed to do. Whatever it was, it was top secret. He suspected he had been lied to about the name of the potion, as he couldn't find any reference to it in any of his books, even the ones that focused on Dark Magic.
He knew the side effects, as that is what he'd been tasked to eliminate: headaches, nausea, depression, and if used improperly or too frequently, memory loss. Unfortunately, these were side effects for quite a few potions and didn't help Severus narrow down what the potion was. And it was rather difficult to fix a potion without knowing what the potion did.
He knew a few of the ingredients: fluxweed, dittany, beetle eye, and bouncing spider juice. He suspected that the nausea was coming from the beetle eye and bouncing spider juice, as that combination was typically prone to make people sick. The solution would be to replace the bouncing spider juice with bouncing bulb, as they had very similar properties. However, Severus did not know if the bouncing spider juice had a specific purpose, meaning that if he rebrewed the potion without it, he could alter the overall chemistry of the potion.
Severus also guessed, though he couldn't be sure, that the potion included fanged geranium. Fanged geranium coupled with fluxweed could cause memory loss in large doses. However, so could beetle eye and occamy egg, if combined before the egg is boiled. There were simply too many variables, and he couldn't make a recommendation without more information.
He had written Mr. Rosier several times, explaining why he hadn't made progress. Severus hadn't gotten a reply, but Evan had assured him it was because his father was attempting to get permission to give Severus more information.
Severus had taken to researching what this particular potion could be, but it was impossible to know, without more information. He knew he couldn't give up, like Dorian had suggested. He had been given this task and he knew what happened to wizards who could not complete tasks. Evan assured Severus that he was in no danger, that Mr. Rosier would protect him, but Severus wasn't convinced.
He thought of Lily and wondered if she would approve of his actions. Severus decided she would. Yes, he was sort of working for the Death Eaters, but it was all for educational purposes. He was trying to rid a potion of its side effects, which was a good thing, not a bad thing. And, Severus speculated, if you left out the part where he was reporting to Mr. Rosier, it was simply an education task being preformed by someone who wished to become a Potions Master.
Lily couldn't disapprove, Severus surmised.
Speaking of Lily, Severus knew that it had to be tonight, when he approached Lily. She was going to be angry with him, of course, and he had to give her plenty of time to get over her anger. Which is why, after their Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, Severus grabbed Lily by the arm – before she could reach Potter, Black, and the rest of her stupid friends – and pulled her into an alcove in the corridor.
"Severus!" Lily exclaimed. "Let go of me." The way she looked at him broke Severus' heart. It wasn't the kind look he had known his entire childhood, instead it was a look of fear and alarm. She couldn't possible fear him?
"Lily, I need to talk to you." Severus said, his voice pleading.
"I don't have anything to say to you." Lily said firmly, trying to wriggle away from his grasp.
"But I have so much to say to you!" Severus begged. "Please, Lily. I need your help."
Severus wasn't sure why he had said it, but once it was out, he knew he had said the right thing. Lily's eyes were wide, but they no longer looked afraid. Instead she was looking at him a soft expression, one that he hadn't seen in a while. She looked worried, worried about him.
"You need my help?" Despite her worried expression, her voice was disbelieving. "What you possibly need my help for?"
"I can't talk here." Severus said, his voice low. He tried to keep the triumph out of his voice because he knew he'd won. Lily was worried, and she would come to his rescue if he needed it. Severus knew Lily better than anyone. If he asked for help, she would provide it.
"Severus…" Lily began, but it was clear she didn't know where she was going.
"Meet me tonight, at midnight in the classroom next to Slughorn's." Severus meet Lily's eyes, begging her to come.
"I have rounds with Remus tonight." Lily said. "I won't be down until 11:30."
"That's perfect. You can come right after." Severus smiled at her.
"Remus isn't going to let me sneak off to the Dungeons!" Lily snapped.
Severus was about to respond when he heard Potter's voice. "Where is she, Padfoot? She always waits for me."
Lily looked at Severus. They both knew Potter was talking about Lily.
"I have to go." Lily said quietly.
"You're at Potter's beck and call now?" Severus demanded harshly. Lily rolled her eyes.
"No, but I have class on the other side of the castle in ten minutes."
"You'll meet me tonight?" Severus asked again, releasing her arm. Lily looked at Severus, her eyes full of worry and… something else that Severus didn't necessarily like.
"Severus…" She trailed off.
"Please Lily. I need you." Severus practically begged. His voice sounded different, even to his own ears. It was desperate, sad, and needy. He didn't particularly like it, but if it made Lily come tonight, he really didn't care.
She looked unsure for a few seconds before replying, "Fine. Midnight. I'll see you then."
Severus grinned at Lily, who did not return his smile before hastily removing herself from the alcove. Severus could hear Lily seconds later. "Sorry, James. I, uh, forgot my bag and had to retrieve it."
"Forgot your bag where?" Potter sounded suspicious.
"James." Lily said sternly. "We are going to be late." He heard their footsteps as the two Gryffindors walked away. Severus hated that Lily was friends with Potter, but he'd work on it. Once Severus explained everything, then Lily would understand and wouldn't need to hang around Potter and his horrible friends anymore.
It was almost midnight, Lily discovered, checking her watch. She was still ten minutes away from her meeting point with Severus. She was running late. It was just as well, seeing as she wasn't sure if she should be meeting Severus in the first place.
When he had corned her, Lily's first thought had been to worry about Severus. He looked desperate and scared. Severus wasn't one to show his emotions, and her immediate reaction was to try and help Severus. Of course, she reminded herself, it wasn't her problem anymore. Severus wasn't her problem because they weren't friends anymore. Still, she worried about him. She knew it was pathetic, but there wasn't anything she could do about it.
It wasn't until halfway through rounds when another thought hit her. What if it was a trap? What if she went down there and she was attacked? She had almost asked Remus his opinion before she caught herself. Remus would definitely not have let her go. Or worse, he would have told James. James would have been angry and protective, and Lily knew that they would have had a horrible fight.
No, she was fairly certain that Severus wouldn't harm her. Mary was convinced that Severus was still protecting her, even though they were no longer friends. Lily wasn't sure of the validity of that statement, but it did give her comfort during her walk to the Dungeons. She was still anxious, wondering what Severus could possibly want after all this time.
When she arrived, five minutes late, Severus look relieved.
"I thought you weren't going to come." He admitted. He was alone, Lily noticed thankfully. He clearly wasn't setting her up for anything. He also sounded genuine, and Lily was secretly impressed though she didn't let it show. Severus was not typically one to show his emotions and this was the second time in one day that he had opened up to her.
No, she reminded herself. It doesn't matter because they weren't friends anymore. Severus needed help, that was the only reason he had asked her to meet him.
"I'm here." Lily said coolly. "So talk."
Severus gulped. He hadn't expected her to be so cold, Lily thought proudly. He was worried about how their conversation would go. For whatever reason, this made Lily feel powerful, like she was in control.
"I have to tell you a few things, and I know you aren't going to like them." Severus took a deep breath. "I'm being recruited."
Lily stared at Severus, horrified. She knew where this was going, truly she did. Her heart hurt. Severus, a Death Eater. How had everything gone so wrong?
"By the Death Eaters." Severus continued, though Lily had already known what he was going to say. "They want me to brew potions and create spells for them." He said simply, like it wasn't a big deal. But it definitely was.
"Severus-" Lily began but she was cut off.
"I don't want to do it." Relief, relief spread through Lily's entire body. He didn't want to be a Death Eater. Perhaps there was hope for Severus.
"And?" Lily asked. Not letting her relief show. Just because he wasn't going to be a Death Eater did not mean he was forgiven. What he did was unforgivable, she reminded herself. He was not going to be forgiven for simply not becoming a Death Eater.
"I need your help, Lily." Severus said quietly. "We need to leave."
"Leave?" Lily asked incredulously.
"Yes. Leave England. We'll leave and we'll go somewhere they can't find us. I won't have to be a Death Eater and you'll be safe. We'll go to the Americas. I know you're not a huge fan of the American lifestyle, but we can adjust. We'll live somewhere secluded and practice magic in secret. We can work on potions just like we always wanted."
Lily stared at Severus in disbelief. He wanted to run away. With her. He wanted to run away and leave England in the hands of Lord Voldemort.
"We can't just leave, Severus!" Lily cried. "What about everyone else?"
"I don't care about everyone else, Lily, just us. We'll be safe." His voice was desperate, Lily noticed, but there was something else behind it. He was looking into Lily's eyes and Lily knew he was serious about running away. It's what he wanted.
"I care about other people." Lily said slowly. "I care about the Wizarding World. We have to stay and fight."
"If we stay and fight, we'll die Lily." Severus said solemnly. "You don't know what they're like. They'll stop at nothing. They'll kill you, Lily." His voice was desperate again and he had stepped closer to Lily, grabbing her hand.
"Don't you get it, Lily?" Severus pleaded. "They'll kill you and I couldn't bear it."
He was close to Lily now, too close. His eyes were staring straight into Lily's, willing her to believe him.
"And I couldn't stand if something happened to you, either." Lily said carefully. Severus's eyes still bore into hers and he took another step closer. There was practically no space between them. Lily stepped back, uncomfortable.
"Then we'll leave." Severus said. Again, there was something in his voice that Lily didn't like. He was hopeful, happy, yet it made her uncomfortable.
"We can't run away, Sev." He brightened at use of his nickname, clearly thinking he'd won. Lily scowled.
"I'm going to fight, Severus. You can fight alongside of me or you can run away, but I am not running. I'm not a coward."
Severus flinched at the use of the word coward. "I'm not a coward." Severus said, his voice a little too hard. "I'm not running away because I fear my own life. I fear for yours, Lily."
"I know." Lily said softly. She had taken several steps backwards. There were now several paces in between them. "Severus, I have to ask you something."
Severus looked at Lily, and Lily's heart flipped. She wasn't sure how he'd respond, but she was certain that she wouldn't like the answer, yet she had to know.
"Why don't you want to join the Death Eaters?" Lily asked quietly. "Is it because of me, because of how you feel about me or because you think what they're doing is wrong?"
There, she'd said it, she'd asked the question she'd wanted to. Severus looked shocked for a second, but he quickly recovered. He took another step forward, closing the distance between them slightly.
"I would do anything for you, Lily." Severus said in a breathless, quiet voice. "You know that."
"But do you agree that what the Death Eaters are doing is wrong?" Lily demanded.
Severus was spared answering by a very angry James practically bursting through the door. Lily looked at James and blanched. "James, what are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here is the more important question, I think." James retorted. "Muggleborns are being attacked and tortured and Remus tells me that you're sneaking off to the Dungeons to meet slimy little Slytherins?"
"Go away, Potter." Severus sneered. "This doesn't concern you."
Both boys had drawn their wands, threateningly. "James, stop." Lily demanded. "You too, Severus. Both of you, put your wands away."
Neither boy moved. Lily sighed.
"Severus and I were just leaving." Lily said quietly. "Let's go back to our dorm, James."
"Lily!" Severus cried. "You're going to go with him?"
"Yes, we are going to do back Gryffindor Tower and go to sleep. We can talk more in the morning." Her voice was gentle, which seemed to placate Severus.
James grabbed her arm, practically dragging her out of the classroom. "What," he growled when they had turned the corner. "Were you thinking?"
"He said he needed my help." Lily said quietly. He was still practically dragging her, but now they were the climbing stairs.
"And you believed him?" James demanded. "What if it had been a setup? What if you had been attacked?"
"I can take care of myself, James." Lily snapped. "And I wasn't attacked."
"Then what did he want?" James asked. This was what James really wanted to know, Lily could tell. He was still angry, which Lily could tell by the harshness of his words and the redness of his face. Lily felt guilty, though she wasn't sure why. Severus had asked her to run away with him. She had no intention of leaving England to go hide somewhere with Severus while a war was raging on, but she still knew that James wouldn't like.
That thought made her angry. It didn't matter what James would or wouldn't like, she reminded herself. Moreover, how did James even know where she was? She hadn't told him or Remus. And then he came barreling down to "save her" when she was in no real danger at all.
"Did you use that creepy little map of yours to find me?" Lily demanded, instead of answering.
"I was worried." James said, though he sounded more guilty than angry now.
"So you saw I was with Severus – clearly not being attacked, by the way – and you had to come rushing down to save me?"
"I was worried." James repeated.
"You sounded like the old you, the one I couldn't stand." Lily said coolly. "The one that picked on Severus and was a bully."
"I was scared, Lily." James said, but his voice sounded so small. "I didn't want anything to happen to you."
Lily shook her head slowly as they approached the portrait hole. She stopped and turned to face him.
"Do you honestly think Severus would hurt me?" She asked.
"He did hurt you." James said. "When he called you a you-know-what."
"Mudblood, James. He called me a mudblood. And you weren't particularly innocent, either, if I recall."
"I know." James said quietly. It was hard to stay made at James when he looked so apologetic and sad. "I know I hurt you, too. But I've been trying to prevent anything from hurting you this year; I've been trying to protect you."
"James," Lily said softly. "I'm not yours to protect. I can make my own decisions and meet whomever I like. I don't appreciate being followed and treated like a child!"
She walked through the portrait hole and up the stairs quickly, leaving him standing in the common room by himself. She ignored the guilt ridden look on his face as she hurried into the six-year dorm.
AN: Thoughts?