All I Want For Christmas (Is To Give My Love Away)
The last thing that Addison Montgomery bargained for was to absolutely hate the game of surgical 'secret Santa'.
TWELVE
"Where are you taking me?" Addison asks Meredith with a thrilled voice as they head to the blonde's car.
"I know a place," Meredith says to her cryptically, smirking as she sees the redhead squirming under her gaze.
It's been an entire week since the secret Santa began, and the ever-growing sexual tension between the two women is nearing it's breaking point.
"Are you going to tell me where it is?" Addison asks, despite being nearly sure that she won't be receiving a verbal answer on this one.
"You'll find out when we get there," Meredith teases, as she motions for Addison to sit in the passenger's seat, and Addison complies.
"Alright…" Addison sighs, as she tries to calm her heart rate down from all of it's pounding.
"Hey, I thought you were a fan of surprises, hmm?" Meredith hushes to Addison as she pulls out of the parking lot.
Off of Addison's groan, hearing only the chuckling of the blonde woman as they headed out on the open road, they were off.
The drive wasn't too far, not that Addison knew this part yet, and as they drove there, Addison and Meredith made some small talk about their work, and their patients, and their general day-to-day lives.
"You seriously had to operate on a newborn whilst it's twin was being born!" Meredith says to the redhead, impressed.
"Just all in a day's work," Addison says in forced nonchalance.
"I bet you have the wildest stories to tell," Meredith smiles widely.
"They tend to build up over the years," says the redhead.
"I want to hear all of your stories," Meredith's eyes sparkle as they lock with Addison's at an intersection before they keep going, and Addison shivers in response to that.
They end up at a little alcove tucked into a corner. It's off the beaten pathway, and further from the city than Addison remembers ever traveling before.
"Mark might have let it slip one time that you have a thing for French food," Meredith grins as she meets Addison at the door.
"It looks great," says Addison as she meets the blonde to go in.
The interior is far more crowded than the outside might have suggested though, and this inspired even more confidence from Addison's side in Meredith's restaurant choice.
"For two?" The server asks Meredith, and Meredith nods and says that she already has a reservation.
"When did you make that?" Addison asks her.
"You were in surgery," Meredith shrugs, and then a smile can't help but appear for Addison.
"Sneaky," says Addison as the server nods at the two of them, and leads them to their table.
The menus are already placed there, and after Addison slides into the booth, Meredith slides in right beside her, much to the redhead's delight.
"All cozy already, are we?" Addison quips easily.
"What can I say? You're all soft and warm," says Meredith, before leaning in even closer. "And…" Meredith begins as she reaches to run her hand across Addison's thigh under the table. "This way it's going to be much more comfortable," she smirks, as she feels from the tensing, then relaxing, of Addison's muscles under her hand just how much fun she's going to have from her teasing.
"Meredith… We're in public, Addison gasps as the blonde strokes her thigh gently.
"Relax, nobody can see anything anyway," Meredith points to the tablecloth that's fully covering them.
"You're so bad," Addison gasps, as she follows her earlier strategy of drinking water to stop herself from audibly moaning.
"And you aren't?" Meredith returns to her, her eyes shimmering with mischief as she mentally recalls all of the 'exotic,' presents the redhead had been personally delivering to her.
"I never thought you'd have known they were from me," Addison confesses, biting her lip in the process.
"Then I guess you're just getting everything you never knew that you wanted," says Meredith, as she stops stroking Addison's thigh, and instead, just rests her palm there on Addison's hip without moving it.
"Aren't you?" Addison asks her.
"What do you think?" Meredith asks her right back.
Her smile tells Addison everything she needs to know about Meredith's answer.
Meredith orders a steak with roasted potatoes, as she always does, and Addison orders codfish with herbs and tomatoes and a side salad.
After they've ordered, Addison wonders to herself how many times that Meredith has been here, and if she'd often come here with anyone else, or if she'd just discovered this place all on her own.
"I discovered it once, just exploring as a teenager," Meredith explains, seemingly reading Addison's mind with her question.
"Really?" Addison is slightly surprised, but then again, she realizes that, being the daughter of Ellis Grey, she just might have had the fortune to take herself out wherever she wanted.
"Yeah," Meredith says a bit… Shyly. "Not very often, but it was some of the better times," Meredith sighs. "Usually my mother was so busy, and once in a while I'd escape to somewhere like this," Meredith offers.
"Thanks for sharing it with me," says Addison, "I'm so glad that you'd want to…" Addison trails off as she says this.
"No problem, of course," says Meredith, as she shifts even closer to Addison.
"Jesus, Meredith," Addison gasps heavily.
"What, too much for you?" Meredith continued her ministrations with her hand on top of Addison's hip.
"You're- you're doing this in the restaurant?" Addison asks her.
"Hmm, please, I don't worry too much about what other people have to say about me if I'm never going to see them ever again..." Meredith rolls her eyes playfully. "And believe me, I've only just begun my games with you…" Meredith whispers right into Addison's ear before she nips at the skin right underneath it, prompting an uncovered moan from the redhead.
"Ohhh," Addison moans out, as she feels the blonde's hand inching its way up her sides.
"So sensitive," Meredith smiles, pleased with herself.
"You're a terrible influence," Addison gasps again.
"Tell me about it," says Meredith, laughing, as she watches Addison's cheeks redden under her gaze.
Addison can't stop thinking about it.
When the food comes, Meredith chooses to shift her place at the table to the opposite side of it.
"What, do I suddenly scare you, Grey?" Addison teases.
"Easier to look you in the eye this way," Meredith smiles, not ever faltering.
"I see…" Addison says, and then she understands why this is happening when Meredith starts to delve into more… Tantalizing topics.
"So, tell me, Addison…" Meredith begins as she cuts a piece of steak for herself, "what was your motivation for getting me all of those… Interesting secret Santa presents, hmm?" She grins to go along with it.
"Well…" Addison blushes as she digs into her codfish, "I admit that initially, I might have had more… Ulterior motives…" Addison sighs.
"Ooh, do tell?" Meredith says without the least bit of insecurity, and she smirks as she sees Addison shifting slightly nervously in her seat at her expression.
"Well, initially I had this really ridiculous plan…" Addison begins, cringing inwardly at herself for her quick shift of heart.
"And this was?" Meredith prompts her, eyeing Addison and not letting her get away with whatever this was.
"Okay, so I thought that if I gave you really great gifts, then I could woo you away from my ex-husband," says Addison, bowing her head at her own words.
"Well, that worked out for you, right?" Meredith teases.
"Yeah, I guess, when you think about it… But I originally thought I had to make it seem like it was someone else, like Mark," Addison says.
"So you were trying to set me up with… Your other ex?" Meredith asks her.
"Right, well, sort of?" Addison shrugs. "And then I thought well maybe Derek makes you happy so I should get you to think it was him so you'd be happy…" Addison sighs. "But then finally at some point, I guess I just started to feel selfish because I wanted you to like the gifts and know they were from me, even though I was hiding behind the gifts and trying to throw you off all at the same time," Addison sighs.
"So… You were being angsty and complicated?" Meredith smirks at her.
"But not on purpose!" Addison mumbles.
"So you were trying to get me to fall for the gift-giver, so you'd get me great gifts, only to realize you enjoyed seeing me enjoy said gifts, so then, this must have started some sort of snowball effect in which your desires got all reversed and twisted?" Summarizes Meredith.
"I guess," Addison shrugs again. "Though, there was also an existential crisis thrown in there also," she adds sheepishly.
"I'm guessing this was on your side of the equation?" Meredith teases, while she also reassuringly reaches her hand over to soothe over Addison's.
"Yep, pretty much," Addison admits flat-out to her. "What, I'd never fallen for my ex-husband's ex-mistress before, it was a big moment for me!" She adds to that.
"Was it that part? Or was it the woman part?" Meredith muses.
"Both, but mostly the latter," says Addison. "Probably some repressed mommy issues," she guesses.
"Ah, I know the feeling," says Meredith. "Though at least I had that particular crisis when I was a teenager," she adds.
"You've seen women before!?" Addison exclaims all of a sudden.
"A few," Meredith shrugs, and she enjoys a little bit how Addison's brow furrows with envy.
"And then, with the gifts, I just watched you seem to be pleased with them so I got you some more," Addison concludes.
"Well, I appreciate all of your thoughtfulness, Addison," Meredith smiles.
"You're welcome," says Addison, glad that her actions had finally felt realized with the proper acknowledgment.
"Although… Now that we're dating, would you like to hear just how I savored your presents?" Meredith asks, as she also begins playing footsie with Addison again under the table.
Addison gulps as she begins nodding involuntarily, hanging onto every single word as she also enjoys her dinner.
"So, your first gift," Meredith explains to Addison as she digs into her potatoes. "The surgery was a lovely touch. And I am a romantic, so the words made it even better," Addison beams as she hears this. "What really made me suspicious though, was being called 'Sweetheart,' says Meredith.
"Too obvious?" Addison squirms.
"Mm, not enough on its own. But enough for me to start asking myself some questions when I received some more… Risqué items," Meredith announces.
"Such as?" Asks Addison, wanting to hear Meredith explain this.
"Such as the panties which were the same brand as my… Other ones…" Meredith trails off at that last one, not wanting to dwell too much on the past.
"Yes…" Addison says, as she continues her dinner.
"You recognized that I liked that kind, huh," Meredith smiles at her.
"Yeah," says Addison.
"Mm, and I bet you enjoyed imagining me in them, too?" Meredith says to her.
Addison tries to contain herself, but she lets out a groan involuntarily.
"You know, I liked them so much, I washed them, and I'm even wearing them tonight," Meredith hushes, and Addison whimpers at Meredith's words, and the imagery that goes along with them.
"Oh, that's cool, yeh, laundry, underwear, right…" Addison stumbles.
"That's what you got out of that last sentence? And not the image of me, pulling them up onto my legs after a shower where I-" Meredith leans in for this part, "used your other few gifts, to pass the time…"
Addison now reddens completely, and chokes a little bit on her salad before she pulls herself together, and starts to brainstorm a way to retaliate.
"You know, you're not the only one who's been enjoying themself," Addison finally begins. "Every night, I would take a bath, and enjoy the new bath products. And I'd let the warm water flow over my skin, and I'd relax, and I just kept thinking of all the things that I'd like to do if I had company…" Addison husks.
"Hmm, interesting, go on…" Meredith says, rewarding Addison with a brush of her foot up working up her calf.
"And when I was given chocolates, I would savor those in the bath too. And sometimes…" Addison leans in to Meredith's ear to nibble it just a little bit across the table. "Sometimes, I'd even touch myself… While I was thinking of you…" Addison settles, as she draws her own foot to brush over the inside of Meredith's knee.
"Ooh, and that's very interesting," says Meredith as she leans into Addison's words. "And did it feel good?" She asks her.
"It did," says Addison, surprisingly open.
"Mm, do you want to know what I bought for myself that felt really really good?" Meredith asks her.
"I do," Addison breathes heavily.
Meredith nods at her, winks, and then leans right on into her ear.
"Seriously!?" Exclaims Addison.
"Oh, yes," says Meredith. "I'll have to show you sometime," she offers.
"Yes, please," Addison whimpers.
"Absolutely."
As the evening progresses, they drift from the topics of fantasies to friendships, to families which Meredith doesn't like to talk about very much, and neither does Addison, really, and they finally come full circle when they talk about their desires, their passions, and what they want out of life.
"I'm tired of waiting for my life to come around," Meredith sighs. "I want to be more proactive, that's why I'm stating what I want more clearly," she explains.
"Yeah," says Addison. "I'm tired of denying myself what I want," offers Addison.
"You do that a lot?" Meredith asks her.
"Yeah," admits Addison.
"I think it's good to let go once in a while," says Meredith.
"I'll try it out for a while," Addison resolves herself.
After the cheesecake they'd had for lunch, neither of them wants anything too sweet, and so Addison proposes they order some sorbet.
"It's fruity," she smiles.
"And light and sweet," offers Meredith.
They wordlessly share it, just like they had earlier with their cheesecake, and this time Addison doesn't have to feel the least bit guilty as she watches Meredith caress it over her tongue.
Meredith drives them home to her place to pick up a few things, and then finally, Addison asks her if she wants to stay over for the evening.
"We've had a sleepover at your house right, why not mine?" Addison asks her.
"Alright," says Meredith easily, not wanting to end the conversation just yet. "But…" Meredith says suddenly seriously. "I don't want to move too fast with you," she eventually states. "I know that might be a few mixed messages from all the flirting at dinner, but I want to do this right with you, so I was thinking about waiting for having sex with you," she offers.
"I think that's a great idea," says Addison. "And I don't think I'm ready yet," she says. "But, I was thinking about you showing me some things… And I've also had another fantasy I wanted to talk with you about…" Addison blushes.
"Yeah?" Says Meredith, and Addison whispers it.
"I think we can do that," Meredith says to her confidently.
"I'm glad," says Addison easily, and with that, they're off again.
When they arrive at the Archfield, Meredith shows Addison the book she had bought, about how to have healthy relationships, and have physical relationships with women. "I wanted to learn more," says Meredith. "Ohh…" Meredith blushes, making Addison smile. "I also bought a harness to go along with the dildo with the rest of the money on the gift card," she says.
"I bet you look super hot in that," says Addison, as she shows Meredith how she'd arranged all her new bath products, her bathrobe, and even her new blanket.
Meredith had brought over her own gifts, so they had lots of creams and gels and Meredith's shampoo, too, which she already knows that Addison likes.
"So you want to take a bath with me, huh," Meredith smiles, as she offers for Addison to get undressed.
"Yeah," says Addison. "I just want to cuddle you here under the water, and then we can snuggle up some more in bed under the covers, and then we can maybe have breakfast together tomorrow. Sound good?" Addison says to her.
"Definitely," says Meredith, as she helps prepare the scented candle, and dims the lights a little. "I can't wait to hold you close, and finally relax after a long day," she says, as she steps into the bath, and waits for Addison to follow her.
They set out the soap bubbles, and Meredith and Addison take turns creating bubbles, and later popping them. The colors dance over the shimmering water, which is enriched with bath oils and bath salts.
Meredith helps Addison wash her hair, and Addison massages over Meredith's stiff back muscles.
"You know, I could get used to this," offers Addison, as she strokes Meredith's neck, and works in her conditioner to her hair.
"Yeah, I'm so glad I'm in your bathtub," says Meredith. "And I'm so glad that we've had this connection through all these gits," she adds.
"Yeah, it's not even the things, it's the thoughtfulness that I appreciate," offers Addison.
"True," says Meredith. "And knowing that you're sure that you want to create these little moments for me, it makes me feel special," says Meredith.
"I feel so special when you wrap your arms around me," says Addison, as she leans into the blonde, who caresses her back.
"Addison, I know we're not moving too fast, but may I kiss you?" Meredith asks Addison.
"You may," confirms Addison. "And I'd really like you to," she adds finally.
And finally, under the warm water, and the dimmed lights, amongst the scent of lavender, Meredith Grey kisses Addison Montgomery, and she has never experienced anything like that ever before.
"You're so sweet, Sweetness," Addison says, mirroring her letter for Meredith.
"You're too cute," says Meredith. "And I like it when you call me Sweetness," she smiles. "It's getting chilly here, would you like to head on to bed?" Meredith asks her.
"Yes please," says Addison, as she graciously accepts when Meredith gets out and holds out a towel for her, and helps to dry her.
"You look great in those new pajamas," says Meredith, appreciating her selection.
"Thanks," says Addison. "And you look great in that Dartmouth shirt," Addison adds.
Meredith smiles at her favorite pajamas, and she helps Addison make the bed and adds in her new sheets as well, along with Addison's weighted blanket.
"The message on this made me swoon," Meredith admits, as she tucks Addison under the covers before crawling in with her.
"You make me swoon," Addison whispers, kissing her lightly on the cheek before she tucks herself into Meredith's neck, and closes her eyes.
"Thanks for having me stay," says Meredith quietly.
"Always," says Addison, as she dozes off to the tender feeling of Meredith stroking her hairline.
"Always," Meredith mirrors, as she drifts off as well.
They fall asleep softly, and when they wake up, they share their joy, that their love for each other doesn't need to be any kind of secret at all, for any longer.
****** END OF CHAPTER 12
Author's note:
Here we are, at the end of this little Christmas special. Are you surprised? Thanks so much for everyone who has supported this work, and to those who have submitted guesses, and for everything. It's been a wild ride, and I've been excited to write all of this ending plot for a while.
Have a great one folks, leave me a note if you like about your reflections on this final installment, and on the work as a whole.
:)
bobbiejelly