Chapter 10 - Distractions

After Harry left, Neville helped Hermione establish a workspace, even digging out some arcane books that held information he thought might be relevant to her werewolf project. As soon as he handed over the first volume she dived into it, only looking up a few minutes later when she heard him chuckle.

"What?" she asked.

"Nice to see another thing hasn't changed."

"What are you talking about?"

"That thing you do with your hair when you're concentrating really hard."

She realized that she'd been twirling her finger in hair and smiled sheepishly. "Oh. Right. I don't even notice I'm doing it most of the time."

"I know. Back at school I worried you were going to get so twisted up in there that we'd have to cut your finger loose."

"Funny you should say that. That actually happened when I was a little girl. Mum had to cut out a big chunk and it took forever to grow back. When I learned about magic that was one of the first spells I looked up - how to untangle my finger so it wouldn't happen again."

"Good to know. One less thing for me to fret about then." Neville laid a few more books next to her. "I'll leave you to your work. Let me know if you need anything."

When he checked back a few hours later she was still hunched over the desk, writing furiously. It was clear that she hadn't budged from that spot since he'd left. Worried at the pace at which she was pushing herself he approached carefully. "Hey. Ready to take a break?"

"Can't," she replied without looking up. "Still have almost twenty more letters to write."

"You can do that after you've eaten something."

"I'm fine. Just a little while longer..."

He reached over and plucked the quill from her hand. "Stop. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

She made a desperate grab for the quill but missed. "I started something. I need to finish it."

He summoned a chair and sat next to her. "I've seen you work on projects before. This is more than simply completing an assignment. There's something deeper going on here. Talk to me. Why does this mean so much to you?"

"I - I want to do something to honor Professor Lupin."

"Admirable but obviously not the whole story. Why else?"

She fidgeted in her seat. "I want to prove that my studies were accurate, my theories regarding the policies are valid and my conclusions are sound."

He scooted closer and took her hand. "And...?"

She stared at the desk but didn't pull away. "Because...even though I haven't personally suffered from lycanthropy I know what it's like to be tied to two worlds but never feel a real part of either for reasons that are mostly out of your control. "

She nervously glanced at him. "Don't get me wrong. I love being magical and I wouldn't trade it for anything but I didn't choose it and part of being a Muggle born witch means you never feel truly accepted in either place. You have to keep a huge part of your life hidden in one world and many people in the other will always see you as something 'less than'."

Neville gently rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. "I've never seen you as 'less than' anything. Quite the opposite, in fact."

"I know. That's always meant so much to me. You were one of the few pure bloods that didn't see me as an abomination or a curiosity. You saw me as a witch - plain and simple."

"Far be it from me to contradict someone of your intellect but I assure you that I've never once thought of you as plain or simple, Hermione."

The clock chimed and he reluctantly withdrew his hand. "Come on. Let's get you fed then you can continue. I'll help if you like."

"Help what?"

"Write letters." He pointed at the directory of names in front of her. "I recognize some of the people on this list. A fair number benefited from either Gran's generosity or my parent's protection over the years. The Longbottom name may not be what it once was but it still carries some weight in certain quarters."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know. I'm doing it because I want to. Because I truly believe in what you're doing, Hermione." He pushed his chair back and stood. "But first, let's see what we can rustle up for a meal. You won't accomplish anything if you're passed out from starvation."

xxx

True to his word, after making sure Hermione had eaten and rested, Neville helped finish her correspondence then gave her some time alone to further explore the library. When he checked in before bed he found her sitting cross legged on the floor, surrounded by piles of books and staring at the board filled with potential suspects. He lowered himself down next to her and scanned a few of the titles she had pulled.

"Bestiarium Magicum, Goshawk's Guide to Herbology, An Anthology of 18th Century Charms, The Practical Potioner? Settling in for a little light reading?"

"I was going to do some research on a side project I've been working on but I kept getting distracted looking at this lot." She nodded towards the display in front of them. "It's a little difficult to concentrate when you're facing a wall full of people that quite possibly want you dead."

Neville fished around in his pocket, produced a brightly wrapped candy bar and handed it to her. "Here. A very wise person once told me that chocolate helps in situations like this."

She gave him a bemused smile. "I believe that was Professor Lupin but I'm not fighting off dementors."

Neville glanced from the board back to her. "Aren't you though?"

She opened her mouth to argue the point then realized he was right. She sighed and accepted his offering. "Touché. Thank you."

She unwrapped the bar, broke off a small piece and popped it in her mouth. "Oh, my. This is excellent!"

"I know, right? It's Belgian. Picked some up when I was on the continent."

"What? No Chocolate Frogs?" Hermione teased.

"Nah. Had to stop buying them once my picture turned up on one of the cards. Too weird to see my own face staring back at me from the package."

"Agreed. Even Ron got tired of that pretty quickly."

"Funny the things you think will make you happy when you're a kid. At one point in my life that would have seemed like the greatest thing that could ever happen to a person."

"I fear there are a lot of things that aren't quite what we dreamed they'd be." She broke off another tiny sliver of chocolate then handed it back to him.

"You can have more than that," he insisted. "As a matter of fact, keep the whole bar. I've got plenty."

"Oh, I couldn't do that."

"Why not?"

"Being dentists and all, my parents were very strict about sweets when I was a child. Even as an adult I still find myself worrying that indulging in things like eating an entire chocolate bar comes across as a bit...decadent, I suppose."

"I think under these circumstances we can make an exception," said Neville.

She studied the candy wrapper then quietly asked, "Nev? Do you think what's happening to me is some sort of...divine retribution for what I did to my parents?"

"No. Absolutely not," he stated in a firm voice as he took her hand. "There's absolutely no connection between the two events. You didn't do anything wrong by using whatever means you had at your disposal to protect your parents. Nothing."

"Then why is this happening, Neville? Like you said earlier, none of these people really track given the information we have so far. I've gone over this a thousand times and I have to admit that I'm at a loss."

Neville gestured around the room. "Then you're in the right place, because you know what another very wise person once taught me? When in doubt, go to a library."

Hermione's shoulders slumped. "I'm afraid this is one of those rare instances where I'm not going to find the answer in a book."

Neville gasped as he clutched his chest and reeled back dramatically. "What?! Is this really Hermione Granger? Good thing I'm already on the floor. I'm in danger of fainting."

"Stop." Hermione gave him a playful shove as she chuckled softly. "But I have to say that one of the hardest things for me to learn has been that - as desperately as I wish otherwise - there are some things that just can't be learned from books."

"You're right," Neville nodded. "They taught us a lot of things at school but we never learned what really mattered - how to love, how to appreciate people while we have them, how to grieve them properly when they are gone. We have to figure all that out on our own. Sometimes we get it right. Sometimes we get it wrong. The important thing is to keep trying, I guess."

He rose to his feet and reached his hand towards her. "And you will keep trying. Tomorrow. After a good night's sleep and at least one more piece of that chocolate."

She took his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet. "Not going to let go of this chocolate thing, are you?"

"Nope." He picked up the bar and gave it back to her. "You know, in some cultures it would be considered an tremendous breach of etiquette to refuse a gift from your host."

Hermione took the chocolate and dropped into an exaggerated curtsey. "Well then, far be it from me to insult the lord of the manor."

Neville clicked his heels and offered his arm. "Good. Now that we have that sorted, may I have the honor of escorting the lady to her chambers so she can retire for the evening?"

Hermione looped her arm through his and in her best upper crust voice replied, "You may, kind sir."

He walked her to her room and as he stepped away she called out, "You did it again, you know."

"Did what?"

"Managed to get my mind off what's happening."

Neville shook his head. "Wasn't me. It was the chocolate."

She smiled softly. "No. It wasn't. Thank you, Nev. Good night."

"Good night, Hermione."

She closed the door behind her leaving Neville staring at the place where she'd been standing far longer than he intended before heading off to bed.