HEY~~~! Guess who is back? Yes! THIS BITCH!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Long Time No See! ;) ;) ;)

How are ya? Ya missed me? Bet you forgot all about me! Well, I don't blame you!

I forgot about this fanfic as well! XD

Sssssooooo I went back, reread this story and edited the shit out of the first 3-4 chapters! I added a little more details and scenes so feel free to go and check them! But the general idea is still there. Same shit, same timeline, same backstory! ;)

ADDITIONALLY, I WANT TO SAY A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO KEPT READING, FOLLOWING AND FAVORING THE STORY! YOU ARE THE BEST! LOVE YOU ALL! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!

Current Time

Right now it's September, Seijuro is starting the rest of his 2nd year of highschool while Amelia will now starts her 2nd year of highschool. The chapter starts with the day after the Lats Game took place.

Extra info

He, him, his refer to Bokushi.

Chapter 10

Tell Me And Let Me Decide

/*Akashi's POV */

I woke up but I didn't want to get up. I wanted to lay on the bed for the rest of the day. Maybe for the rest of my life. I felt empty. Alone. Done. I wished that I was dreaming. I wished that the moment I woke up things would be like they used to be. But I was wrong… once again. Just like when Amelia died. I hated this feeling. I didn't want to feel it again. And the previous night felt unreal. I felt like I was in a dream. I managed to focus and win the game but for the rest of the night I was lost into my thoughts. I was trying to accept it. But I still can't accept it. I understand that he did it in order to help me and to make me be more independent. But I didn't want him to disappear.

Shintaro realized that something was wrong but I didn't want to burn him with my own problems. He had enough problems on his own so he had to wonder about his own future, not mine. However, I really appreciated the fact that he cared for me. Even after all this time. Also, how I managed to drag myself and ask Seirin's players to play a game against the Generation of Miracles I still don't know. Maybe because I wanted to play basketball for one more time with them, like we used to, on his memory. Even Kagami's announcement didn't make any kind of impression, yet I promised that I would see him off the day he would depart for America.

"I need to get up… Kaito is here…"

I walked up to the bathroom and stared at my reflection on the mirror. I looked awful. I could see my past self in there. My eyes were tired and dead. My hair was a mess as well. I couldn't even bring myself to smile. Why did I end up like that again? Why did it have to hurt so much again? I felt like I just wanted to die and go meet them both… But suicide was not an option at this point. I loved them both and I lost them. Even my mother was too weak. If I was to die she would just die along with me. I didn't want that to happen. But If I had to lose her too… then what? Would I still be able to go on in life? At the beginning I had him and my mother who I knew that loved me and cared about me, to keep me out of water. Then Amelia came to my life for a very short time. Now I lost two of them. I didn't want to lose the last one as well. Then I would just dive deeper.

Ah… tears… I didn't manage to cry for him after all… The only thing I can do is to knelt down and let them go.

When my tears dried up and I managed to get ready, I walked to the small living room of the hotel room where I saw Kaito sipping his tea calmly while playing on his phone. When he saw me, he let down everything and waved at me to join him. "Want some tea? It's amazing!" He smirked and hurried to fill a cup for me as well. "The weather today is quite lovely! Want to take a walk?" He asked next.

I only examined him and I noticed that he was nervous. I could only imagine the reason. He was hiding something. His moves since last night were very suspicious. And the fact that he left after they spoke made his thesis even worse. I was so angry with him last night, but as the time passed I started to calm down. Maybe playing basketball made me relax a little. Maybe I wanted to blame someone for my misery like when Amelia died. But this time my other self decided that he wanted to go on his own. I don't think that Kaito was that strong to scare him away. I doubt that. Actually, Kaito was afraid of him, as he tried to kill him once in the past. Ah… good times… Maybe at the end I should just look at it more calmly and then freak out.

"Yeah… A walk sounds good…" I said calmly while smiling at him. I swear he lost his color for a second there, but he returned the smile at the end. I let the porcelain plate on the table and kept the cup in my hand when I noticed the drawing on it. It was sakuka petals. Amelia loved sakuras. I stared at the plate for some more time until I heard Kaito clear his throat to draw my attention to him. I placed my cup on the plate and I looked at him. "Is something wrong?" He wanted to say something apparently.

"No… um… The cake is very tasty! You should also eat some…" His voice became fainter by word. He was really nervous. Even his hands were trembling. Then he came closer and started to whisper. "Cousin… Is here safe to talk?" I raised my eyebrows in shock. What kind of question was that. "I mean… I would prefer us to be completely alone… if that is possible…" He spared a look at the battler that was resting by the door. I guessed that he wanted to talk about my other self and his disappearance. Of course only a few people knew about his existence. Not wanting a third party present was only natural.

"I see… Could you please leave us alone? And make sure that nobody will interrupt us." I asked the battler who was standing by the table alarmed. He nodded and he left the room closing the door behind him. When we heard him close the entrance of the room Kaito let out a huge sigh. Was it such a huge announcement what he wanted to tell me? "You don't look too well…" I commented.

"No… I am sorry. Ok… Seijuro, shall we talk first?" He asked with an unsure smile on his face.

"Yes… The truth is that I also wanted to talk to you-"

"I know. But let me talk first and I will explain everything to you… So… for starters… Seijuro you told me that you have a fiance right? How do you see this engagement?" His voice became suddenly grave. I had never seen him being so serious in the past.

"I thought that I told you before? I don't have the slightest interest in her. My father ordered me to marry her a few months after Amelia's death." My voice was flatter than I expected it to be. I was as surprised as Kaito who was looking at me a little lost.

"And how do you fee about your fiance?" He continued.

"I can say that she is a good girl but nothing more. I haven't interact with her a lot to be honest. At the beginning I was refusing to meet her. My other self was doing all the job."

Kaito nodded his head. I could see a faint smile on his face. But he continued his interrogation.

"How does she feel about the engagement?"

"I believe that she is also being pressed to make this marriage work. I mean her family name is pretty big. That is what I thought at the beginning. But lately she jumps in front of me in some weird occasions which lead me to believe that she is really into this matter. In the past we would only meet during holidays. Now she comes more frequently to Kyoto. And being here in Tokyo, it's also dangerous." I chuckled. "Why do you care? You being so serious is unusual."

"I see… I am sorry, but please bear with me a little more… That fiance of yours… What is her name?"

"Hachico Anna. She is the daughter of the owner of the Hachico Corp." His face became a little darker than before.

"Does she know about Amelia?"

"She does…" This is getting weirder and weirder...

"How does she feel about her?"

I looked at him confused. Why did it matter? Amelia was dead. Anna's opinion on her wasn't really important. "Actually she doesn't like her because I am still stuck at her even thought I have already made it clear that I would continue with the marriage regardless. But I don't understand what does my fiance has to do with bokushi's disappearance."

"It has… Answer me this. What are your plans for the future?"

"Finish school, unfortunately marry Anna, finish university, study aboard and when I inherit the company I will divorce her. Then I would have the biggest chance to do it."

"Aren't you going to lose part of your company to her? The law that is what it says."

"Prenups exist for a reason. I will have her sign that she won't get anything that it's company related. If she refuses than she will make clear Hachico's goals."

"Oh! I see… I see…"

Silence. He fell silent and in deep thought but I still couldn't understand why he was asking me all those things. This information… how could it be useful to him? What was he planning? I was eager to learn. I started to tap one of my feet on the floor repeatedly. I was getting restless with every breath he was taking but not speaking at all. I felt like I was going to lose it.

"Kaito!" I growled at him. He shot up his head and looked terrified at me. "Why do you need this info? What is going on? What did you talk about with bokushi the night before the game? Why did he leave? And why did he say that the future was unpredictable!"

"Because it is." He said gravely once again and took a deep breath. "Cousin… what I am about to tell you… It might sound unbelievable and you probably won't believe me but I have proof… so bare with me ok?"

"Ok?" What in the world was he talking about? His face was white like a snow and his breathing became heavier. It was like he was about to pass out.

"Amelia… Amelia is… alive."

"Eh?"

I stayed silent for some time in order to progress what he had just told me. What did he just say? No. What did he even dared to say to me? He is lying. This is just a joke. How dare he say something like that to me. "How dare you lie to me like this! You feel guilty for causing him to disappear and now you tell me blunt lies like this?" My voice was raised without me noticing. I was beyond disgusted.

"No. I am not lying… Amelia is alive. I have proof… here" He placed his phone in front of me. On the screen was the picture of a girl who had long light brown hair and honey eyes. I swiped to the next picture and it was the same girl once again. I swiped many more and all of them were the same girl. Then I checked the dates of the photos that were taken but it seemed like he wasn't the one who took them.

"Where did you find them?" I asked in a very dangerous tone.

"Irina sent them to me."

"Irina? You don't even like each other!" I snapped at him.

"I know… but this girl on the picture is Amelia! However… there is a catch…"

Then he started to talk. He talked about the incident, how Amelia didn't die, how they took her away in Europe to hide her from Hachico, how Hachico had tried to kill my mother in the past, how they made the deal with my father, how Amelia didn't remember anything until now, how she doesn't remember me at all and how she is going to get married to someone just to keep their mouth shut so she could stay alive and how no one should learn about her being alive, especially Hachico. Everything felt unreal. It was like it came straight out of a manga. I just didn't want to believe anything. I didn't want to raise my hopes and the crush and burn. I looked at the pictures once more. This girl really resembled Amelia… But she wasn't smiling no more. I took the phone once again and I looked at the pictures. Then I found one more new one that I didn't see. It the picture of a half broken necklace. This necklace…

"That is what I told to Bokushi as well. It was solely his decision to… go." Kaito finished. "I know that they may sound a lot… I just learned the truth myself by accident as I told ya Seijuro… I am terribly sorry for all of this… But it seems like it was a must and-"

"I am leaving." I told him suddenly. The truth is that I didn't really listen to anything he said after he said that he talked to Bokushi. I needed time. I needed some air. I needed time to think. I was beyond confused. I just took off without saying an other word and I started to walk around Tokyo without caring where my legs would take me.

/*Kaito's POV*/

I broke him. Oh my god, I broke him. I broke my cousin. The way he looked was awful. He looked so lost. So confused. And not only that, I also let him leave all alone and now who knows where he could be. I started to walk up and down the room without knowing what to do. I didn't know who to call to ask for help! And what was I supposed to tell them? 'Hello! I told Seijuro that Amelia is alive and now he is in shock and walk around Tokyo unsupervised?'. Yeah, great Kaito! Well done! You screw up! And the only people I could ask for help are either in France aka Irina or in Kyoto aka aunt Shiori. Seijuro's father was out of question.

"Marion. I will ask Marion."

I rushed to the table and I got my phone and I dialed her number quickly.

"Hello? Kaito?"

"Marooon! I am in deep trouble!"

"You told Seijuro and now he is gone?"

"YES! Wait, how did you know?"

"Because it was only natural? Where are you?"

"At our hotel room in Tokyo."

"And he left?"

"Yes… And I don't know what to do!"

"Is it possible for him to go to places familiar to him?"

"Familiar places… you mean that have a meaning for him?"

"Yeah! Like an old school or house."

"You are right! He might have gone there! Oh my god! Maron! You are the best! I love you so much! I am running to go and get him!"

"Don't go yet. Let him get some air… He needs to be alone. Just check on him occasionally. Ok?"

"You are right… Ah! The door. Someone came? Maybe it's Seijuro! I am hanging up!"

"Good luck! Love ya!"

I left the phone on the table and I rushed to the door. I thought that it was Seijuro. Maybe he changed his mind and came back. However an awful surprise was awaiting me behind that door.

I was faced with a girl, fairly shorter than me, with long blond hair and big blue eyes. She looked half Japanese and way younger than me. She must have been at the same age with Seijuro.

"How can I help you miss?" I asked her kindly but I was met with plain disrespect. She looked behind me and then sighed.

"Is Seijuro here?" She asked annoyed.

"No. Who is looking for him?" I asked again. I was holding my tongue to not say anything bad.

"What do you mean? You don't know who I am? I am Hachico Anna! Akashi Seijuro's fiance!" She announced proudly. I could see her nose getting bigger. Nonetheless, hearing the name 'Hachico' I immediately felt like danger had just entered the room. I had to throw her out, asap! Her eyes were almost piercing through my soul. "Who are you?" She asked disgusted. What was wrong with that girl? Amelia was more caring when she asked me the same thing years ago!

"I am Akashi Kaito. Akashi Seijuro's first cousin. Nice to meet you miss Anna." I faked a smile and I gave her my hand but she dismissed it immediately. We wouldn't get along with that one.

"I see. So, where is my fiance?"

"I am afraid that I don't know." I answered honestly. However, even if I knew where he was I still wouldn't tell her.

"Ηοοο?" Ah, she doesn't believe me. Well too bad miss.

"And speaking of which. Why are you here? I mean how do you know about this room?" I asked concerned. Seijuro said that we came here so we could avoid her. Also, why she is here now and didn't come at all the whole week?

"I was told that he is here." She didn't care at all. No, she didn't care at all about Seijuro. She is just doing whatever she is told.

"And who that might be?" She pouted her lips and looked annoyed at me. She really didn't want to say who was the culprit. But I could guess who might be. Seijuro's father. Of course. "It was your future father in law, right?"

"Maybe."

"Leave. And don't come here again." I was so tired of all this. From one side I had Irina pressuring me to talk to Seijuro. And on the other side I had Seijuro's father and Seijuro's fiance. Too many people were involved in this! And too many obstacles! My uncle really makes things even worse for everyone! I bowed and said my goodbyes to the girl as I was closing the door. I didn't have anything else to say to her. The only thing that I could do was to inform my cousin about her visit, just in case… so he could be prepared.

/*Seijuro's POV*/

I must have been walking for a very long time before I realized where I was. I was in front of Teiko Middle School's entrance. The doors were of course closed as it was weekend but I could still see the building and the windows of the classes that once hosted me, him, Amelia and the Generation of Miracles. So many memories passed through my mind. Both pleasant and horrible. Memories of me and Amelia walking to the school together, going to dates, me walking her to her club activities, our dates on the rooftop. Also memories of me and the generation of miracles before everything went to hell. I wish I could turn back time and go back to that specific semester. The first six months of the first year of middle school. The sadness I was feeling was indescribable. I couldn't form any kind of sentence in order to describe it.

She was alive…

It felt like a dream. I spent so many nights in my room, alone, on the floor praying and asking God to bring her back. Asking him why did he take her? Blaming him for this tragedy. But at the end I realized that it was nobody to be blamed other than to one who caused the accident. That drank man who was driving the other car. He died during the impact so there was nobody to punish at the end. But at the end everything was a lie. A big fat lie. They lied to me…

I left the school grounds and I went to the park with the sakuras and the fountain. Just walking through it again since middle school felt unreal. The memories were haunting. I could still remember the time when I was looking for Amelia because she was late to come home as she had fallen asleep at the edge of that fountain. Many more meetings followed at that very fountain. The majority of them were dates. We would sit and eat sometimes there as well.

She is alive…

She is alive… Amelia is alive. I still can't warp my head around this piece of information. I still can't believe it. But those pictures and that necklace… That necklace, I gave it to her as a birthday gift! I still remember the day like it was yesterday! It was summer, we were at Hawaii and we had a huge celebration. After that celebration we sat at the beach to watch the sunset and there I gave it to her. It was a heart shaped red ruby necklace. She loved it. She actually started to wear it everywhere! She must have been wearing it even during the accident… for it to be broken like that. It was broken in half. Like my heart.

Amelia… Her being alive… could this mean that I could see her again? Talk to her again? Hug her, have her in my arms, kiss her, tell her how much I missed her. This was weird. I was accustomed to the idea of her being gone. I was not ok with it, but it was something that I had to accept and move on with my life. I had managed to do that and now they tell me that it was a waste of time. Was it really though?

"She doesn't remember anything you or Japan. This part of her memory is not back. Irina is trying but I don't think that she will achieve anything more."

"Also Amelia doesn't want to see you. She is saying that the Amelia you loved is long gone."

Kaito said those things. How am I supposed to react? What am I supposed to do? I am so confused. I don't understand anything. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to feel?

At the end I returned back to the hotel room without having answers. Kaito seemed really happy with my return. On the other hand, I wasn't. So I asked him to go to Kyoto or to leave Japan. He didn't like what I asked him but it seems like he understood my reasoning. He didn't say anything more other than "I understand" and he started to pack his things. I just locked myself into my room and I laid on the bed. I was so tired. Both mentally and physically. I was lost. I didn't know what to do. But Kaito drew me out of my thoughts when he was heard from behind the door. He informed me that he would go to Kyoto to see my mother. He wished me luck and that I should just take my time. Leaving he added that he had sent me the photos he had shown me earlier today. These were his last words before silence was once again set. I just wanted to sleep and forget about everything.

I closed my eyes and wished that everything was a dream. That when I would wake up I would be once again all alone. Alone….

"Ne… Seijuro…"

I looked to my side and I saw her there. She was at the fountain, looking at the fish in the water.

"Aren't they lively?"

I couldn't see her face but I knew that it was Amelia. She was all grown up, like me. Her hair was long and was covering her back. I only could see her profile but that was enough to show me her beauty. She was beautiful. Like she always was.

"I really like them… I missed feeding them…"

Her voice was soft and kind. She was always like this when she was with me. I could feel the warmth of her voice and the care she had for those fish. She really liked them.

"I missed them. I wanted to see them."

I could only smile to her remarks. She had a kind heart. And her kindness could be seen on her face. I always thought that she was some kind of goddess. I looked around and saw the sakuras dancing around us. I always loved this peace and quite.

"How about you?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want to see me?"

"I-"

I woke up once again covered in sweat. This dream again. It just wouldn't stop. Every night. Since Kaito's departure, this dream would come to haunt me every night. And every night I wouldn't be able to answer properly. Because I don't know the answer yet. It has been at least three weeks since Kaito told me the news about Amelia's survival. I was thinking about it everyday and every night. From the moment I would wake to the moment I would go back to sleep. I wasn't even able to pay attention at school. My mind would be clouded with thoughts and potential scenarios. Scenarios of me and Amelia meeting. What would happen.

It was torture. It was way worse than her being dead. And above all this I had Anna being a disturbance. She even dared to come to my hotel room when I was in Tokyo. I read Kaito's message about her looking for me but I didn't give it any thought. I guessed that she would give up, but she didn't. She would come everyday until I left for Kyoto. Of course I wouldn't answer her. I wouldn't answer to anyone, not even my father. I wasn't ready to talk to any of them. Those who knew the truth and kept it from me. Those who saw me die slowly and just ignore me and let me dive deeper in despair. I wasn't ready to face them yet. I was too angry. I wasn't thinking clearly. I also didn't want to listen to any excuse they would give me. What I did was to only message my father to ask Anna to stop bothering me. But it seems like he didn't do anything. Hah… classic.

I sat better on my bed, in my room at Kyoto, and looked outside the window. It was still night and the moon was lighting the black sky. I couldn't see the room around me but the moonlight could show me at least where my desk was. I didn't bother to move. I just stared at the desk. On top of it was a framed picture of me and Amelia but it was turned that way so I couldn't see that pic anymore. I would look at it whenever I was feeling lonely. But from the day I learned that she was alive I turned it upside down and I didn't look at it again. I didn't know why but I couldn't bring myself to face Amelia until I knew the answer. Did I want to see her?

I always thought that if there was ever even a small chance of her being alive I would run to her, hug and never let her go. But now? Now I still wasn't sure. I did lot's of thinking. But the longer I was thinking about it the angrier I was getting. I could see both sides and why they did what they did but at the same time I was feeling so betrayed by my own family. I felt like it was so unfair. Even though I know that If I knew that Amelia was alive I would run to her. And even if she was amnesiac I would still stay by her side. Of course that meant that I would get her into trouble or even cause her death. So I get it. I understand why they lied to me. But at the same time, it hurt. It hurt so much. All those years I was a shadow of myself. I was dying slowly and knowing that they decided to not say anything. It was so unfair. It hurt so much. And I cried. I cried a lot. All those years the only thing I did was to cry and endure the pain. The pain of losing her. The pain of losing my friends. The pain of being alone once again after he left me as well.

"I need to make up my mind…"

However there was one thing that I was sure of. My hate for Hachico. I hated him. I hated his daughter. I hated everything that they stood for. That damned old man, destroyed everything. Now I knew who to blame for all this. Him. And only him. At least now I had a target. I knew who to blame for all this. That gave me a feeling of satisfaction. Of freedom or purge. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to make him lose everything. To feel the same pain as me. To lose everything and have nothing else other than his miserable self. I wanted his ultimate destruction more than anything. And I realized that I could actually do that. I would inherit my father's company after all. That alone would give me the upper hand. Being a business owner I would have power. So one matter was out of the way.

I sighed heavily and I looked at the door. I got used to the darkness and I could tell what was what in the room. My room was empty. It had no character at all. If it was for Amelia to come here, she would be really disappointed with my stylistic choices. Ah… here we go again… Acting like Amelia would come here. Arg… these scenarios wouldn't just stop already! I was only hoping for things that wouldn't come true. Like I used to do. I would always say "Amelia would like this…" or "Amelia would love this…." at the beginning when I couldn't accept her death. But now… Now…

I threw the blankets off my feet and got up. I walked all the way to desk and got my phone and returned to my bed. I went to the pictures and I found Cecilia's pictures. I made a bad habit of comparing her old photos with her new ones. It was like I was trying to prove that she wasn't real. That this girl on the pictures was an other girl. But every time I was proven wrong. Even though I was feeling bad for being wrong, I knew that secretly deep inside, I was happy. I knew that a part of me wanted her to be alive and good and an other part wanted her dead. I was in a constant battle. Maybe I needed a second opinion on it… And who else would be better than Midorima Shintaro? This man was the epitome of unbiased opinions. Maybe he was my last chance here. So I called him and I invited him to come to Kyoto for the weekend. My father found it weird, as it was rare of me to call friends over, but I found a good excuse to cover his visit. My mother was enlighten with my decision. She even asked me to bring him over to see him as well. Somehow, my mother started to look a tiny bit better, since Kaito's visit. I talked about it with her and she would only tell me that Kaito's visit was very refreshing. So I left the conversation there. If she was getting better that meant good. I didn't want to attack her while she was weak.

I made sure to meet Shintaro in public. I didn't want anyone eavesdropping. Playing basketball in a court was a good start. We played a few one on one games and decided to rest for a while. When I brought drinks, I decided that it was time to talk. Shintaro himself had already sensed that the reason I called him all the way to Kyoto was not to just play basketball, and certainly not for a stay over.

"Akashi… I have a feeling that I am not here for the reason you expressed on the phone."

"That is true, Shintaro. There is something I would like to discuss with you… privately. I believe that your unbiased opinion would be helpful."

He waited silently for me to talk so I talked. I told him what I knew, which I realized weren't a lot either. But they were a start. His face didn't change at all. He had a hard poker face on that no one could brake it. When I was done it was my turn to wait. I was anxious. I wanted to know what he was thinking of all this. I needed a way out. Someone to save me from my misery.

"I thought that Kaito's visit was suspicious… But I have to admit that I didn't expect this kind of turn of events… Her being alive… it's comprehensible… I can't believe it myself…."

"It's been three weeks since I learned the truth, and I still can't accept it either…" I admitted shamefully.

"I see… so you want my opinion?"

"Yes. I am lost. I am conflicted actually. A part of me want her to be alive and an other part of me want her dead. I feel like an asshole right now. I just don't know what to do."

"I see… What I think is that you want her alive, because of course you still love her and you want her with you… however you want her dead because you don't want to deal with her. She has no memories of you right? And that she doesn't want to see you. This is a clear rejection there. Maybe this is the reason…" He fixed his glasses and looked at me concerned.

"What do you suggest? Should I go see her? Should I go after her? Or should I just not do anything? Ignore her completely?" I asked desperate.

"Can you ignore her existence?" He asked with a very serious tone. I felt like he was asking my soul and not me.

"No… I can't."

"That means that you have two options. Go on with your life or-"

"But it's not like we broke up! This part of my life doesn't feel completed. I can't go on with my life… I feel like something is missing…"

"Closure."

"Eh?"

"You miss closure. You can't go on because that chapter of your life is not closed. Actually… you never closed it. But now you can. She is alive. Now you can put an end to this and cut all ties to her and her memories."

I looked unsure at him. He was right but….

"Do you want to close this chapter Akashi? This is the first question you need to answer first. After this you will know what you need to do."

He was right….

"Mother I want us to talk… It's about Amelia. I know that she is alive." I said with a very calm tone to my mother who didn't seem surprised by the news at all. I considered Shintaro's words carefully. I gave it a lot of thought and I reached to a decision.

"I see son. Sit down… Kaito told me about it. So I understand that you want explanations… But before all I would like to apologize to you for keeping it a secret from you…" She bowed slightly to me but I only smiled at her. I wasn't mad at her anymore. I understood her reasoning and I now I knew that what she did was the right thing to do. I rested one hand on her shoulder and helped her raise her head.

"I accept your apology. It must have been hell lying to me… I understand. And I thank you for keeping it a secret from me… I know that I would have screw everything up and I would put Amelia in danger."

She smiled faintly at me and placed her hand above mine on her shoulder. "It's ok even if you hated me… really…. But, what is that you wanted to talk about Amelia?"

"I am here to announce to you that I am going to France. I plan on meeting Amelia."

She didn't seem surprised but only nodded in agreement. "I see. You should go then."

"However mother… I don't plan on reconciling with her." Her eyes widened in shock. This was only natural after all. "I talked with Irina on the phone as well. Amelia agreed to see me but only to talk and close this chapter of our lives. Me and Amelia… would not be together anymore. I even spoke to her on the phone you know… She… she didn't sound anything like the Amelia I knew mother…" I closed my eyes shut trying to avoid any tears. "Kaito and Irina were right. Amelia changed. The Amelia I knew is dead."

And that was the devastating true. All this time I was thinking that I was dealing with the same Amelia. But I was gravely mistaken. The Amelia I knew was lovely and caring. She was someone who was warm and kind. She was brave and very forgiving if you were to apologize to her. Of course she was stubborn but she didn't wish harm on anyone. Even when she was brutally bullied by some girls during middle school she didn't want the police involved and when Irina suggested her to make the girls' like difficult she chose methods that wouldn't hurt them. Furthermore, Amelia was a dreamer. She loved laying down, looking at the clouds and make dreams and plans for the future. I would join her and take part in her future plans. She was pushing me to make up a future plan too, but it was almost impossible for me. I was always following blindly every order my father was giving me and she would always pout at me. She was not raised like that, I could tell, even if she accepted the arranged marriage at the end. She was free. I was a prisoner in my own life but she was what was keeping me out of the water and fighting for something better. She was the reason I would take the good things of what I was going through and have a better understanding of things.

The Amelia I spoke with was cold. Calculated. She sounded kind but it was the fake kind of kind. The one you have to be when you meet someone only to work with. She was someone who would put herself first and then the rest. She was… someone else. She was like me before I met Amelia. Yes. She was sad and lost. Of course she would be under these circumstances. But this girl took all the bad things from the previous Amelia and kept them as the main persona. Amelia could be very cold at times when she was betrayed but who wouldn't… But this Amelia… Maybe if someone meet her for the first time you won't be able to tell the difference but I knew her. So I saw the differences. This alone change the whole situation. As Shintaro said. I had to close that chapter.

But before I go to France, I had to close this chapter here, starting with the house in Tokyo. So I went there during the next weekend. I had to make sure that my decision was final and that I would stop hanging on the past. But the memories were too much to handle and I really didn't want to let go of them. My mother said that doing that wouldn't mean that I was automatically forgetting about Amelia. It would mean that I was in peace but she would still be in my heart regardless.

"Mr Akashi, we are here." I heard the driver who broke my line of thoughts.

"Very well. You can go. I am going to be late." I ordered and I exited the car.

I waited for the car to leave and then I continued to the entrance of the house. I hadn't seen the front door for a long time. It got older and it was damaged a little. Maybe some kids from the neighborhood found it funny to kick it or something. I unlocked and pushed the door open. The characteristic sound that was produced made me smile faintly. Amelia would always say that it was impossible to sneak out at night as the door was too loud. Someone would surely hear them. I started to walk the wide path that was welcoming me and each step would bring me more conversations I had with Amelia. After all we would pass through there to come and go, together, holding hands, laughing and looking at each other. However, this would also be the path that I hated to pass by alone after her death. I would avoid it as far as I could. I would use an other exit or entrance to come and go. Thankfully the house was huge and it had plenty of them, which I discovered on my own, unable to share them with her. Bokushi would always try to hurry me so I wouldn't think about it. He was trying his best. I don't know if he continued to use those hidden escapes while he was in control. We would rarely speak to each other. I left him all alone. But he never complained. I wish I could thank him for that… I wish I could thank him for many other things but now it was too late…

My legs took my further in the garden and I was almost near the front door. I looked at the steps that were laying at the front. I used to sit there waiting for Amelia to come. She would always be late for school. I could even see a younger me pouting tiredly at the steps waiting for her. Then my eyes fell on the door once again. It got older. It seems like time wasn't kind to it either. I unlocked once again and I opened the door as far as I could. The entrance of the house was empty. Nobody was home. I asked them specifically to not be here today. I wanted to be completely alone. I walked in closing the door behind me. I missed this house. I hadn't been here for at least three years. Every time I would come to Tokyo I would stay at one of the other houses we have here. I would avoid this one. At some point my parents did the same, so only maids and battlers were left here to maintain it.

I looked at the door of the dinner room. It was there where I met Amelia for the first time. That smile that I hated so much but I ended up loving and missing dearly. I walked further into the house and I started to climb the stairs to the second floor. I walked towards my bedroom while passing by Amelia's bedroom, which was kept locked for all those years. I didn't allow anyone to touch it or change anything in it. I would go and sit in there sometimes or whenever I was feeling really sad and lonely. Her room always made me feel like she was there with me. I was feeling comfortable and safe in there.

For now I decided to leave it alone. I started to walk again and stopped in front of my room which was unlocked. It was still the same as well. I walked all the way to the windows and I opened them to allow some sunshine to enter the room. Then I sat on the bed. It still had the same feeling like it used to. This bed had hosted both me and Amelia and allowed us to rest on it many times. We would sleep in each other's arms. Hah… it felt like yesterday when it was raining cats and dogs with lots of thunders. Amelia got really spooked by them so she jumped into the bed with me. She wouldn't let go until the storm was over. Just having her in my arms made me happy. It was a beautiful feeling. One of the kind. I felt like I could protect her. But I failed her. At the end I couldn't protect her…

"This bed is sooo comfy!" I commented and threw myself backwards to lay on it better. I stared at the ceiling for some time to recover more memories of me and Amelia. I remember the time when I got injured while practicing basketball. I was sitting hear while Amelia was staring at me with intense. She was angry because I fell but also worried because I got hurt. She was really cute. At the end I dragged her into my arms and we both laid on the bed. She would scold me but I would only laugh. She was showing me that she cared about me this way.

"Ahh~" I got up and went to my desk. It still had my notes on it and other school materials like books, pens, blocks. I didn't even bother to put them away before I left the house. I started to open the drawers. There I found again school related stuff. At the last drawer thought I found a little treasure. It was Amelia's drawings. She would draw me things during school and then give them to me on the roof. I kept each one of them. I took them out and I put them on top of the desk. Each one was a separate memory. One with the hearts on it, she gave it to me when she was bored during math class. The one with my name written in fancy letters, she made it when she was watching one day my practice. There were many more there. A bird that sat at the edge of my window brought me back to reality. I don't know how much time had passed but I bet that I spent a lot by just staring at them.

I got up and I went closer to see it better but it flew away leaving me alone once again. I looked around to spot it but it was fruitless. Then I looked down and I saw the garden. It was full bloomed. I stared at it in shock. This garden died along with Amelia. It never bloomed again, regardless of the season. There was not a single flower back then and now it's full of colorful flowers, like it was spring again. I felt my heart beat faster from excitement but I was peaceful at the same time. I loved this garden. Amelia also loved this garden. Seen it alive like that was refreshing. We spent so much time in there. Amelia. I looked at the door of my room.

"Should I check Amelia's room as well?"

Yeah. I should. I returned to the nightstand next to my bed. There it was the key to her room. I wouldn't allow anyone to have it but I left it there at the end. I walked back to her room and I stood by her door once again. I felt the key heavy in my hand as I was battling inside my head if I could take it. At the end I put the key in the lock and I unlocked the door. The sound of the lock made my heard hurt a little. I opened the door slowly like Amelia was sleeping inside and I walked even more slowly inside the room. It was just like she left it. Everything was still the same. Everything. The smell of the roses that were now laying dead on her bed was still lingering. I didn't know where her grave was in order to leave her flowers, so I would just leave white roses on her bed. Once every year on the day she died. Like I did the previous month. Maybe she was alive, but my Amelia was dead so these roses were not for nothing. A little too grave but it made sense to me now. This is how I decided to look at this situation. Amelia, my Amelia, would continue to live in my heart. Like she always did.

I walked in and stared around the room. I missed the colors of her room. She had made sure to make it colorful and happy. Colors like pink, yellow, green and light blue. It was a very girly room actually. Lot's of flowers, silver, gold, hearts, clouds, everything. It was a very uplifting room. I always wondered why she would prefer to hang out to my room instead of hers. She would come to my room to study with me most of the time. But I really didn't complain. I liked her company. She was smart and a very good student but humble. She didn't want to be the first or the best. She liked being good but not that good. She really didn't like the way my father was dictating me to excel at everything. She found it extremely stressful and she didn't want to find herself in a place where she had to compete with me. She enjoyed her simple life above all. And I knew that she could compete me easily. It's was such a shame she didn't want to go farther, but if she was happy, who I was to question her.

However we spent a lot of time in her room as well. She would call me over for tea. She loved tea. The tea table we had was still there, covered in dust. The plates, cups and the jag were sitting on it, waiting for us to relax and talk about our day. Her laugh. God, I missed her laugh. Her face would lighten up every time I would tell her about the wins of my basketball team. She would come to see me play from time to time, but her club activities wouldn't allow her to skip a lot. But those few times she would come, she would cheer me up with every way possible. But for me, her just being there watching me was enough to motivate me more. Of course I would get teased by my teammates but I really didn't care at all. As long as she was with me, I was so happy. I was that simple. I only wanted to spend time with her, walk around, hold hands and go on dates. This is the only thing I asked for.

I looked around and spotted her desk. On it was still the summer homework we had to do. I took a few papers and I started to read. It was a silly story about how you spent your holidays. I remember that we still hadn't gone on holidays, so we wrote what we expected to experience like we had already lived those events. It was a very interesting evening. Amelia had so many ideas that sounded impossible. She would pout every time I would shot them down and I would just chuckle. She was so cute. She was adorable. She was happy.

I felt a tear run down my cheek, so I left the papers down and I walked out of the room. I was maybe too emotionally invested in all this, but I had to do it. I walked out of the room and I walked to the music room, which was also locked. Same as Amelia's room. I turned back to my room to get the key and I came back to unlock the room. A wave of emotion and memories hit me immediately. This was the room we had spent the most time together, playing music and writing new one. Moonlight Sonata… It has been so long since I played this piece. It was our song. Hah… We sound like an old couple… But it was indeed our song. She would play the piano and I would play the violin. She looked like a muse when she was playing. Her fingers were so elegant on the keys.

"Maybe is should play one last time…"

I picked the violin and I looked around for the music sheets. I found them resting on the piano's keys. I picked them and studied them. I remembered almost everything immediately. I placed them properly so I could read them and I started to play the first notes. Nostalgia hit me and an immediate feeling of heaviness dragged my heart down. But I didn't stop playing. Moonlight Sonata. I missed that music so much that I didn't even realize it until I started to play. I closed my eyes to enjoy the music better and I continued to play all the way. I felt like I was back again in the past. Me and Amelia, in this room, playing unbothered the same music again and again, laughing and trying to find ways to play it faster or in a different way. It felt amazing. By the time I was done I was crying uncontrollably. I just let it go. This was the last time I would cry for her. I had to move forward. I had to let her go and go on. She was gone. Now I knew. I had to do my best to let go….

The garden was even more beautiful than I thought. Even if it was September the trees had bloomed and flowers were covering every path and around the pond. Even the fishes into the pond were swimming happily around and would jump out of the water occasionally. Butterflies, birds, flowers and other kind of living beings were making sure that I set my eyes on them. It was like when she was alive. It was lively, beautiful and breath taken.

"When she died… the garden died along with her… it never bloomed again during all those years..." I murmured unconsciously as I pressed me self to dive in deeper into this small paradise. I walked all the way to the center of the garden where a sakura tree was standing, old and tired under the burning sun. I approached it slowly as memories would flow into my mind. I laid onto its body with my one hand reaching for a small familiar carve on it.

'S+A= *heart*'

I remember when we carved this on the tree. It was like a promise. A promise that we would grow together like that tree. We knew that there was a chance of us not being together forever, but we promised that we would continue to be friends regardless. That night I told her once again how much I liked her under this tree. Even though she already knew it, I felt the need to repeated multiple times.

"Stay friends… Yeah, this may was a way to do it."

We were right back then. There was a chance of us not ending together later in life, so we could just stay good friends. This could be something we could do. Amelia didn't remember anything. She doesn't know about her time here…. Maybe… maybe I could just be here friend. This was a better solution than cutting her off my life. This sounded more right. After all it was not fair for her to throw her away like that. We shared many moments together and I promised to her that I would always be there for her, no matter what. We made a promise under this tree. Let's stay friends for ever. How could I forget about it? Nice one Seijuro.

"This make me feel more at easy… This solution…"

I sat down at the roots of the tree. A light breeze started. Along the breeze, the scents of the flowers and the trees were also making their way to my nose. It was a bliss. I would never get enough of this garden. I had so many memories there. Memories with my mother playing for the first time basketball, memories with Amelia sitting and feeding the kois uncontrollably, even memories of my father. This garden housed my whole life, winter and summer. I felt warmness and happiness overweening me, making me smile. Just laying there and smelling nostalgia made me feel a little better.

For the rest of the day I continued to walk around the house aimlessly. I revisited our rooms and music room. I visited the kitchen, the dinner room and the back yard where Amelia was covered in snow. "I believe that it's time to go back and call Kaito." It was already night when I felt like I was done. I had enough of this house and of the memories of me and Amelia. At the beginning I thought that what I had to do was cut all ties with the new Amelia and go on with my life having the old Amelia in my heart and be more open. But now I reached a different decision. I would stay by Amelia's side and I would support her as a friend. I know that this may be hard to do but I think that it would be a way for me to feel more at ease and not feel like I gave up on her… like I threw her away and I betrayed her. At least this way I would be able to say to her the things I wanted to tell her, to show her the affection I wanted to show her, to grow old with her like I wanted to. To be there for her. To see her being happy. And to be able to apologize to her...

"Kaito… Yes… I am coming to France to meet Amelia. I will inform you when I get the tickets."

The same night I saw the same dream but this time I knew the answer…

"How about you?"

"….."

"Do you want to see me?"

"I do. And this time… I will make things right… "

Well! This was the chap!

Thanks for reading!

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SEE YA NEXT YEAR!

(Hopefully XD)