Denmark found himself seated in the middle of an extremely crowded market place, all alone with Choppy hidden within his coat and a small cup of water held in his hands.
"Stupid jerks won't even let me drink alcohol..." He grumbled softly below his breath, glaring down at the cup in his hands.
He couldn't believe they wouldn't let him consume any beer. Especially that pussy-shit they called beer! It wasn't strong enough to even fill his pinkie toe with enough alcohol to get it tipsy!
"I'll show them just how much of a danger I can be to myself!" He hissed in a harsh whisper, "Then they'll all see how wrong they were to think that I was bad before! I'll show them just how bad I can get when underestimated! They'll regret ever having thought that I was at my worst before!"
If he hadn't been the absolute idiot he was, he would have heard an intelligent voice in the back of his head, whispering to him that it was a bad idea to begin to act out in a world that wasn't his own. Especially when he had someone intent on stalking him and, very obviously, force him into a sexual relationship. Especially when that someone that was stalking him was a very dangerous criminal that belonged to an elusive and somewhat terrifying terrorist cell that was apparently causing lots of troubles for the village he now find himself in.
But Denmark was, in layman's terms, an absolute idiot. So the only thing he was able to make out from that intelligent voice's whisper was the sexual relationship part with Hidan. And all that managed to do was frustrate him further over the fact that he was sexually reprieved and blue balls were dangerous! He was mother fucking Denmark and if there was one thing he had never had to work for, it had been no-strings attached sex. He couldn't believe his family was trying to deny him of his birthright.
With a groan of frustration that shook his whole body, the country gulped down the remaining water within his cup. Then he crushed it, looked at his surroundings, and promptly noticed there was no trash can for him to throw the cup away in. And his frown deepened at this. Great! Just another bad thing to happen to him!
Even with his building frustration, though, every ounce of his being screamed at him to keep a hold of the cup so he could throw it away in its rightful place. Possibly, if he could find one, it would be best to even try and recycle it, rather than toss it with the rest of the unsorted trash. It sucked, but he was conscious of how shitty their environment had been treated because of the world's populations and he knew he didn't want to keep adding to those problems... wait, did that even apply in this world?
Denmark frowned at himself, shook his head, and decided that he would bear the burden of keeping the cup in his hands until he was able to find a proper place to dispose of it.
Where in the world was that bastard?
With a growl, the blonde nation scanned the crowds of people around him once again.
Everyone was rather short- and the memory of having figured out his mysterious stalker was rather short had Denmark smirking to himself.
Of course, it wasn't like he was against bedding anyone that wasn't quite as tall as him. He understood very well that human variability was a beautiful thing and there were plenty of people in the world that were both shorter and taller than him- even though not that many were taller than him. He hadn't really gotten involved with any humans in a while, so he couldn't speak about recent history; but he could remember a few trysts here and there with individuals his same size or of another.
It's just that... for some reason... Hidan felt like he should be taller. Maybe it was all the bravado; maybe it was the insanity; maybe it had been the inhuman strength; Hel, maybe it just was that Denmark's ideal lover was simply as tall as...
Denmark frowned, then pursed his lips as his fist tightened further around the plastic cup.
Those kinds of memories were never too fun to visit.
Pulled away from the memory of Hidan's eccentricities, Denmark noticed that he had been so caught up within his own mind that he had paid absolutely no attention to his surroundings.
Normally, this wouldn't have been too big of an issue; there were very few things that required his full attention in this modern age filled with technological miracles, after all.
But his plan relied heavily on him finding Hidan before the man could get to him- and if the stalker had caught sight of him while Denmark had been busy daydreaming, then it was very likely his plan would have failed.
The serious people were boring and stupid. They wanted to capture Hidan and arrest him for something and then lock him away. And they had made a point of telling Denmark that he would not be allowed any conjugal visits.
So, it was very clear what Denmark had to do in order to get what he rightfully deserved.
He had to kidnap Hidan.
Seated in the middle of the marketplace, he was surrounded by many colors, tantalizing and/or questionable smells, and a never-ending mass of humans going about their lives. The stalls to all of his sides were perpetually full and it was very clear to see from the people around him that the village he was within was a very prosperous one. This kind of economic movement wasn't very common in places that were struggling, after all.
When he scanned over the crowd this time, his bright blue eyes were sharp with determination. He looked over all of the fragile humans that were going about their day, discerning possible disguises from really bad ones and regular styles of dress. Finding Hidan was a matter of utmost importance- his aching blue balls could only be rectified with this guy.
...
Denmark pursed his lips yet again as he allowed his head to cock to the side ever so slightly.
Okay, honestly, Hidan wasn't the only solution to such a problem. Genma and Anko had both been more than willing to share him; and they both had seemed like the kind of humans that would be fun to indulge in. Ibiki was also high on his list because it wasn't often he found a man that was so strong, tall, and quiet. There were secrets locked within and Denmark was curious about what they were!
But, getting back on track- the country narrowed his eyes for a moment, trying to remember his initial point before he had started to think about the three humans that had most struck out to him... and then snapped his fingers when he remembered where his internal monologue was going.
There were plenty of other, less dangerous solutions to his aching needs. But if there was one thing he could admit about himself, it was that he had always been drawn to danger. Hidan was dangerous and not just because he was a strong human being that had taken to stalking him; he was dangerous because of what he had done to become a criminal.
Sue him, Denmark had a thing for bad boys.
His brothers really should have seen this plan coming from a mile away; really, at this point, it was as much their fault what was going to happen as it was Denmark's.
Eyes flashing over the crowds a third time, Denmark's body tensed when he caught sight of a cloaked individual that had a strand of silver hair escape from within the confines of the hood over their head before it was gone in a flash.
There wasn't much need to think too hard about what he was about to do- especially because the individual's body was facing his direction and they were doing their best to remain inconspicuous- so much so that they seemed conspicuous.
With a crazed smile unknowingly coming to his lips, Denmark stood up and strode over in their direction.
His heart pounded loudly within his chest as he went, all the while his conscience begged him to not go through with this, he had caused his brothers enough grief in this place. Unfortunately for his conscience, Denmark's libido and impulses were louder, all the while his sense of impulse control had gone on strike years ago and never returned to work.
When he reached Hidan, he found the shorter man smiling up at him, an emotion very similar to frenzy clear in his uniquely colored eyes.
"We've got to move fast- we're being watched." was the only thing Denmark offered him as he grabbed at the upper arm that was hidden beneath the thick cloak- and was pleased to find that it was muscular enough that he wasn't able to close his fist.
He'd have quite some fun with this guy once his family wasn't a sword looming over their heads.
But first, he needed to successfully kidnap the guy.
They moved quickly, weaving through the throngs of people that were visiting the marketplace. As they went, Hidan managed to move his arm away from Denmark's grip and, admittedly, the country allowed the human to grab hold of his wrist and begin stringing him along. With each step they took, their pace became that much quicker until they were virtually sprinting through the crowd and Denmark had zero understanding of where they were going.
It was at around the time they broke past the crowds in the marketplace and began to dodge and weave through many different alleyways that Denmark's conscience harrumphed, sat down beside his impulse control, and decided to go on a much needed vacation that doubled as a strike for being ignored for so long.
It's taken me more than a year, but I've finally been able to update.
Hope y'all liked it! I'm thinking a handful of chapters that detail how Denmark accidentally ends up in the Akatsuki's clutches, how he then is able to convince Hidan that sex is much better than murder, and then, somehow, how he and the rest of the Nordics eventually end up going back home. I don't know, though. This is very much a silly story that I write impulsively for.