What I've Done
The approach they decided to take for Clyde couldn't be more of a contrast to Hermana's. Previously, the simulated mansion had been abuzz with activity and noise. Now, a calm and quiet atmosphere pervaded throughout its halls.
This had been on Billy's advice, along with telling Freddy to keep his head down for this run.
"Clyde doesn't like Teddy much and you're basically this group's Teddy," he said. "It might help if he doesn't think anybody's going to start telling him what to do."
"I see your point. If you change your minds or need me, I'll be upstairs," Freddy said graciously.
"Okay, everybody else just take it easy for a bit," said Billy. "Clyde really likes it when things are quiet and calm. So just do whatever you guys like to do to relax."
"And you said that he likes debate and discussion?" asked Chica.
"Yeah, he and Vevvy used to do it all the time. Not really about anything in particular, just whatever they felt like. I think it was just a way to help pass the time," he shrugged.
"Well, let's give it a go!" declared Foxy. "We'll all have a seat here and have ourselves a lil' talk. Billy, when we're settled inta it, ye open Clyde's door." Foxy handed him the key. "Then ye come and join us."
"Yay!" he said, hopping on the spot a little. "So, I get to say stuff too?"
"Sure you do. I'll bet you have some great ideas," Bonnie winked and Billy looked even more delighted. "Do we really think this is going to work? Last time around, he wasn't exactly making much of an effort to play nice."
"True, but hopefully if we take a more relaxed and social approach, rather than a group confrontation, it might make things better." Chica let a frown come to her face. "Though if at any point he calls me 'chickpea' again, he'll be sorry."
"I second that," agreed Bonnie.
"Oh hey, one other thing. Be careful about bringing up Vevina," warned Billy. "He was supposed to help Vevina, but he didn't. He gets mad if you remind him of that."
"We'll keep it in mind," said Bonnie.
They arranged themselves on opposite chairs in teams. Foxy and Bonnie took one, Chica and hopefully Clyde on another.
"So, what do we talk about?" asked Billy.
Before any of them could answer, Bonnie noticed a piece of paper on the table that hadn't been there before. Obviously, Golden had been listening in and gave a suggestion. She pushed it to Billy and prompted him to read it out.
"'Between a bar or restaurant, what would you prefer to own? Based on your choice, what it look like?'" asked Billy. "Ooh, that sounds like fun!"
"I can see mine already!" declared Foxy at once. "A pirate themed restaurant, that's what I'd be after!"
"Wow, never would have seen that one coming," remarked Bonnie.
"Hey, I know what I like and ya can't tell me that it wouldn't be fun. Picture it," he went on. "A place by the sea, as grand and large as a galleon ship! A great big jungle gym fer the lil' ones, wooden round tables and barrels ta sit on. Great big windows too, so ya get a nice view of the sea and a show too! A pirate adventure, like the ones I do, but with a bigger stage and more props and actors," he said excitedly.
"That sounds really great!" cheered Billy. He'd just opened the door, but nobody had come through yet. "Would everybody be dressed like pirates too?"
"As if ya need ta ask," chortled Foxy.
"It certainly sounds like a very ambitiously big idea, but I'd expect that from you," said Chica. "I'd want a restaurant too, but something smaller in scale. A little bit more personable and it would have a fairy tale theme. Something like an enchanted forest, with a green canopy, tree stumps instead of tables, mushrooms instead of chairs. I'd also have a soft play area for the little ones."
"You know, as sickeningly wholesome as that sounds, I'd actually be pretty down for that," admitted Bonnie. "You going to force your staff to play dress-up too, like this one?"
"Well, there'd have to be a uniform, but I'd try to make it fun and in keeping with it. Like fairies or elves," she said.
Bonnie cackled. "Oh yeah, I'm sure you're gonna have no problems getting people to wear anything like that."
"Wow, I really can't say if this is better or worse than your last attempt," a new voice said cynically. Clyde was standing with his arms folded, looking around with disinterest. "At least you made it obvious with what you wanted last time."
"They just want to try and be friends, Clyde." Billy closed the blue door and was gazing reproachfully at him. "You don't have to be mean."
"Assuming I even want to be friends in the first place," he muttered. "But fine, I guess I didn't have anything better to do. Make some space there, Chiiiiiii..."
Chica glared fiercely at him. "I've already told you, don't call me-"
"…ca. There, Chica." He snickered at her glare. "What, you don't want me to call you by your name?"
"You know fine well what you were doing," she retorted.
"Hey, I was just kidding." He fell into the chair next to her and tried to smile at her. She didn't return it. "Okay, look, I'm sorry. If you really don't like being called chickpea, I won't do it again. That cool?"
"That's fine with me. Apology accepted, Clyde," she said.
"Sure thing, Mother Goose," he said, giving her a snide pat on the head.
Chica's eyelid twitched. Bonnie saw her grit her teeth and ball her fists. But she shut her eyes and started to count to ten under her breath.
"Does that mean you're gonna stop calling me purple princess?" said Bonnie archly.
"Sure, when you stop calling me faker," he countered.
"I don't see you having done anything to not be called it."
"Same right back at you."
"Clyde!" Billy said with forced cheer. "We were talking about what kind of restaurant or bar you'd own. Like, what would it look like? I'd want my restaurant to be somewhere really fun and colourful, with even more kinds of games than what we had before. And balloon animals! I want to have a guy who makes balloon animals and swords and hats and all kinds of balloons!"
"Right, because we don't spend enough time locked up inside one that thinking about having to run one is such an inviting prospect," he scoffed. "It's enough work as it is and you want to add-?" His hand went to his temple as the now familiar effect took hold. "All of the pain, never ending. Just like everything, so much-" The effect ended a moment later. "Just thinking about it is hurting my head."
"Well, how about we discuss somethin' different instead?" suggested Foxy quickly.
"Hey, there's already one." Billy was picking up another piece of paper from the table. "'You find a book. When you open it, you discover it's about your life and to the exact same point you opened the book. Do you continue reading to see what happens, knowing that you won't be able to change anything?' Hmm, that one's hard."
"That's no fun," said Foxy. "I'd set it down and walk away. I want ta live me life not knowin' what the next day'd bring, as it should be."
"Oh come on, you're not even a little bit curious?" asked Bonnie. "I'd hold it at my present page, close my eyes and flick through then stop on a random spot. Just see what I get."
"Aye and what if it lands on somethin' ya don't like?" asked Foxy. "Then ya wouldn't be able to change that."
"Yeah, but I'd be able to prepare for it," she replied.
"It would depend on what it is." Chica fiddled with her fingers a bit before answering. "I can agree with Foxy. I wouldn't want a complete idea of what would happen, but… maybe just peek ahead at the first few pages? Not at random, but have a little look through. Just to have some idea about the immediate future."
"I'm hope it would be really nice for you. You'd deserve that," said Billy.
"I might as well look," shrugged Clyde. "If the present's such a crock, I can't imagine the future being much better." The colour drained out of his body again. "It's never going to get better. It's never going to stop hurting, never-" He shuddered as it came back. "Dammit, these stupid headaches? Hey, what are those looks for?"
"Just makin' sure yer head is alright, lad," said Foxy.
"Yeah, it's fine, don't worry about it," he said dismissively.
"That's also a rather bleak view to take of things," said Chica. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"
He rolled his eyes. "Again with this therapy stuff. Look, it doesn't matter, okay? I'm just saying it like it is."
"It can't be all that bad," said Foxy. "That blasted Puppet can't get in yer head anymore. Ye can make yer own choices."
"Yeah, because those are in such great supply. The choice of doing what we were doing already, it's just a little bit different now. What a concept," he said.
"But we're free now," said Billy. "We don't have to be afraid anymore."
"Sorry, what part of this is free?" he asked, gesturing around the room. "Last I checked, we're still stuck in this restaurant until somebody says otherwise. Even if we did get out, I bet the Puppet is still out there, not to mention Hawthorne himself. Give either of them half a chance and we'll be back to the way we were in no time."
"No, no, that isn't true," said Billy, shaking his head. "Our new friends won't let that happen."
"And how well did that work out for them last time? Not very, if I recall," he retorted. "Face it, Billy, it's all just- pointless. It just keeps going on and on, with no point to- a waste of time. Ngh, stupid head, like I haven't got enough to deal with!"
Billy was sniffling. Chica was at his side in moments, hugging him closely and her glare back in place, directed at Clyde.
"There was no need fer that," chastised Foxy.
He shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in his spot. "Like I said, just saying it like it is. If you want to tell him everything's going to be okay, go for it. You'll only be kidding yourselves."
"So yer fine with makin' the poor lad cry?" he growled.
"Hey, it's a lot kinder than what any of you are doing. At least it's honest," he said irritably.
"Okay, what is your problem?" Bonnie snapped. She was on her feet, bearing down across the table. "You can't at least try?"
He leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. "Why, what's it gotten me so far?"
Bonnie threw her arms up. "Oh right, of course. I mean, if you weren't gonna try and help your best friend, I guess we're expecting too much if you try now."
"And what exactly do you mean by that?" he challenged.
"Like you don't know. You're a jerk, that's pretty evident, so it's not so surprising you're a coward too."
The atmosphere suddenly changed. Bonnie knew that Foxy, Chica and Billy were looking at the scene in shock, but she didn't look at them. She kept her eyes fixed on Clyde. His demeanour was very different. His body was tensed and he returned Bonnie's glare.
"What?" he hissed.
"Hmm, and here was me thinking your hearing would be as good as mine. I said, you're a coward," she repeated in a louder, slower voice.
"I heard." He was actually standing now and glaring. "Where the hell do you get off on-?"
"Quit the high and mighty act," she interrupted. "You act like you don't care about anything, but the moment I say that, this is what gets you on your feet? For somebody who talks about telling it like it is, you don't seem to have much of a stomach for when you're told it yourself."
"You don't know a damn thing about that," he growled.
"I know that she was counting on you and you left her. That pretty much says to me all I need to know about you. We're trying to help you, but you're happy to just sit there and complain because I guess trying to do anything else is just too hard, right?"
He broke his gaze with her for a moment. "Well, it sounds like you've got me all figured out then, huh?"
"If you say so."
"I think we need ta take a moment," said Foxy, placing his hand on her shoulder and steering her to the door. "We'll be back in a bit."
"No rush." Clyde was already back on the couch, his head bowed.
Chica followed with Billy still clinging to her waist. They waited until they were in a room further away from Clyde and the door was closed, before Bonnie kicked a hole in the wall and yelled in frustration. It repaired itself a second later, but it still felt good.
"That coulda gone better," said Foxy.
"I understand if he's dealing with a lot of feelings, I do, but that doesn't excuse the kind of behaviour on display. Are you okay, Billy?" Chica asked.
"Uh huh," he sniffed.
"And we're supposed to help this guy?! If I have to hear him backtalk one more time…!" Bonnie took a deep breath. "Sorry, me losing it in there didn't really help, I know."
"Bringin' up Vevina probably didn't, no. But ye were right ta call him out," said Foxy.
"How does anybody put up with him?!" yelled Bonnie. "He's so condescending, he acts like nothing matters or he just doesn't care! He's..."
Bonnie stopped mid-rant, catching her reflection in a mirror. Suddenly, Clyde's behaviour started to feel all too familiar. She knew what she had to do.
"You guys stay here," she said to Chica and Foxy. "Don't come into the room, no matter what you hear."
"What are ya gonna do?" asked Foxy.
"Hopefully, finally get through to this guy," she replied.
She strode across the hallway and paused at the door. She knew that, in some way, it didn't make sense for her to feel this way. The way Clyde was acting, she should just cut her losses and stay out of it. Yet she couldn't. She had been where he was and people hadn't given up on her. It was a long shot, but maybe it would be enough.
She took another few breaths, then stepped back inside. Clyde barely looked up from the chair. He didn't look like he'd even moved from that spot.
"Just when I thought I'd finally got some peace," he muttered, loud enough for her to hear. "Whatever you've got to say, purple princess, you might as well save it."
Bonnie waited a few moments before responding. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"
"It has been said. Is there a point or did you just come back to insult me again?" he asked.
"I can do both, I'm a pretty good multitasker," she shrugged. "You know, you put up a pretty good front, I have to say. Then again, who doesn't right?"
He quirked an eyebrow. "Are you going somewhere with this?"
"Maybe if you'd keep quiet, you'd find out." She pushed her anger down. "Look, I know you had to have helped Jeremy in some way. If you really didn't think it was worth doing anything, you wouldn't have. But you did. Why?"
He shrugged. "How should I know? Maybe it was a lapse in judgement, won't happen again."
It was too much. In less than ten strides, she had reached him, dragged him by his lapel and slammed him against the wall. She ignored his protests and looked him right in the eyes.
"Will you cut it out?!" she yelled.
"Cut what out? Jeez, what the hell is this?!" he demanded.
"You know what!" She slammed him against the wall again. "You can act all sarcastic and crappy all you want, but the truth is that you care! Way more than you probably think you do! You're just too much of a gutless piece of trash to show it, because of all the crud that's happened!"
"Oh yeah?" he sneered. "And where is this great insight coming from?"
"Because…!" She halted for a moment and looked at the ground. "Because I was the same way."
She waited for the sarcastic reply, but none came. When she looked up, Clyde was staring at her like he was only just comprehending her. The two of them held their gazes with one another for a long while, before she let him go. She turned and walked towards one of the windows, looking out the fields where they'd always goofed around in-between training.
"I used to think Chica, Freddy and Foxy were all better than me somehow. I tried so hard to make myself look and act all cool and confident, when really, I was just scared they'd all realise what I thought was true. That without them, I was nothing. They were all just… propping me up," she said quietly. "Whenever I thought that might happen, I got really bad. I gave into that fear and I attacked them, just so I wouldn't have to actually look in the mirror and see that… it was all me."
Clyde came over to join her. "What happened?"
"What do you think? I had that mirror shoved in front of me. I thought that'd be it, but it wasn't. They didn't leave me. Despite every crappy thing I said and did, they still l-loved me." Saying it made something catch in her throat, but she swallowed it down. "It still took work and hell, even now it's still a struggle. But I know now that I have value beyond how I compare myself to them. Even then, it just makes me want to do better and it doesn't take away from who I am. You get it?"
"I guess," he murmured. He leaned with his back to the window, hands in his pockets. "Easy for you though. You all actually care about each other."
"What and you guys don't? Billy does, despite everything. The way he tells it, you and Vevina were pretty tight," said Bonnie.
"Yeah, were," said Clyde. "You didn't see her when she woke up. She wanted to tear me to pieces. She'd be right to."
"Because of what happened with you," said Bonnie.
"Yeah. It sounds bad, but I didn't…" Clyde looked away and sighed. "I didn't think it would work, that it was all just another one of the Puppet's games. How do you even begin to fight something that's literally inside your head? Vev, she… she made me believe things could change, for a little while. But in that moment when it actually counted, all I could think of was how everything could go wrong, everything that would happen when we failed and I just… I got so scared. I ran."
"Yeah, that's pretty bad," nodded Bonnie.
"Thanks," he remarked bitterly.
"Hey, you want cuddles? Talk to Chica," she retorted. "Yeah, there's no denying that it's bad. But for the record, my best friend bit off a guy's head."
"Yeah, we got told about that pretty early when the Puppet told us how bad you all were," said Clyde. "How do you even start to work past something like that?"
"Well, it wasn't easy. Took nearly thirty years for him to show is face again and that was only thanks to Mikey. Even after that, he still had to work at it. But things got better, even if it took a while." She looked across at him. "It'll get better for you too, Clyde. Things may not ever be the same between you and Vevina again, but you'll never know until you try."
"Yeah?" He slowly craned his head to her. "You… think she'll ever forgive me?"
"That's not my place to say, dude. Forgiveness is up to her. The main thing you can ask yourself right now is this: are you sorry for what happened?" she asked.
"More than I've ever been," he said.
"Then that's where you start. Say you're sorry, show you mean it and you can't really go wrong from there. I get it, man. It's scary. But that just shows how important it is," she said.
The two of them locked eyes with each other. For the first time since Bonnie started talking to him, she could actually see some light of hope in them. When he smiled, it was genuine and she returned it.
A golden halo of light appeared around his head. He went temporarily grey, but it all drained away from his body and into the light. The fragment manifested above it, kept behind its sphere. It didn't even float much higher than the bottom of its cage, sitting almost despondently at the bottom before vanishing.
"Whoa. Did something just happen?" he asked, rubbing his head.
"Don't worry about it," she said. "You feel any better?"
"A little, yeah," he admitted. "Look, can we agree that this stays between us?"
"That what stays between us? I've just spent the last five minutes wishing I could throw you out that window," shrugged Bonnie. "Anybody who's even spent half that amount of time with you would understand."
"Hey, speak for yourself. I was going to do that to you myself, as much as I don't want to ruin my reputation as a lazy slacker," he replied. "Still, was the wall thing necessary?"
"Are you kidding? That was the restrained response," she said. "But I'm sorry, anyway and for calling you a coward."
"It's fine. I guess I deserved it anyway. Sorry for, well, everything." He let out a long sigh. "I guess it's time for me to go apologise to your friends, too?"
"That'd be best, especially Billy. The kid didn't deserve that," she said.
"Yeah, I know," he murmured. "I don't know how you just didn't give up right away."
"Well, like I said: you're a jerk but so was I."
"What and you're not still?" The two shared a chuckle. "Hey? Thanks, Bonnie."
She had to stop herself from doing a double take at the use of her name, but returned a genuine smile. "No problem, Clyde."
Arc of Carona: She'd been bottling it up for a long, long time. And hey, you got it XD
Guest: Yeah. She monitors it while it goes on, extracts them when the moment is right and brings them straight to her. You ever see Steven Universe? It's like when they bubble rogue gems back to the Temple.
Teller-Story: That sounds about right, yeah. Except she took that to a very unhealthy degree and shut out almost anything that would be too painful to think about.
Fate-Be Changed: Now, why on earth would you think that? XD
Jack0lanterns: It depends on how you look at it, really. If you mean actual ghosts, that isn't a thing in this version. It's in a more sci-fi kind of interpretation. Science ghosts XD As for Sid, well, wait and see.