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Chapter 21

When Anakin finally woke, it took great effort on his part to drag himself out of his sleep. A cold, gray ceiling, a few dull, flashing lights, and rhythmic beeps greeted him. Several machines crowded around him, one attached to tubes in his arm and one had several wires that ran to pads taped to his chest under the light tunic he wore.

He turned his head with a grimace, his neck stiff, and inspected the room. Dim lights revealed he was alone in the medbay of a standard Republic ship. He had no idea how much time had passed, but given he'd almost died and no one was still fretting around him, he assumed it had been a while since his collapse.

The quiet roar of a ship's engines nearly lulled him back to sleep until he recalled what had happened. The Death Star, Alderaan, and Leia… the decision that should have cost Leia her life but somehow didn't. Obi-Wan, the Jedi, and several troopers had been injured or killed. On top of everything, Sidious escaped.

Now was not the time for rest—he had to find out what had happened since his untimely brush with death.

Anakin eased himself into an upright position. His body ached even at the slight motion, and a bout of nausea struck. Everything spun around him. Once the initial dizziness wore off, he carefully unplugged the few monitors he knew wouldn't trigger alerts but left alone the ones he knew he needed. He'd played this game before. He used the IV machine as a crutch when his knees almost gave out under him. The metal under his bare feet was cold, and his muscles screamed in defiance. He hobbled to the counter and dug in drawers and cabinets in search of more suitable clothing or footwear but found nothing.

Not that it mattered, since he would probably get scolded and sent back to bed. At least if he found someone, they would be forced to escort him back and he would be able to ask them questions on the way.

He limped out the door, dragging his IV machine with him, and found a vacant corridor. A wobbly and weak sound echoed through a door on the other end of the hall. A child's cry. Familiar. Anakin's heart ached at the sound. He'd heard it in his nightmares for the past half a year. He shuffled his machine in the direction of the sound, and it grew louder until pain knifed through his sensitive ears, thundered through his head, and lanced all the way down to his toes.

The woman Anakin thought was Breha stepped through a door with Leia wailing pitifully in her arms. He froze at the sight of them, and Breha did likewise at the sight of him. Her eyes grew wide, sort of a stunned horror, and Anakin wondered if he was actually a prisoner, someone to be feared. Breha's expression shifted immediately to concern and dispelled the notion.

"You should be resting," she said. "You're in no condition to be up. Return to your room."

"I just…" Anakin puffed for air and found himself pathetically winded. He wheezed.

"Exactly. Let's go," Breha said. She closed the distance between them and held Leia in one arm while she used the other hand to commandeer Anakin's IV machine.

"Are you… Queen Breha Organa?" he asked as he followed her back to his room.

"I am." She moved the IV machine in ahead of him and activated a brighter light. "And you are Anakin Skywalker. The young man who nearly died saving my planet."

Anakin halted halfway to the bed and glanced at her. Just what sort of stories had gone around while he slept? He tucked the IV machine into its corner and sat on the edge of the bed. His head sank, and he wrung the edge of his tunic.

"I just did… what I didn't do the last time."

Breha bobbed Leia, who continued to screech in a rage. She had a strong set of lungs.

"I don't know much about visions of the future or how much we should honor them as truth. I know little of Darth Vader," said the Queen of Alderaan. "But I do know a young Jedi single-handedly saved my people at great cost to himself. I'm grateful."

Anakin didn't know what else to say. In the future, he killed her and everyone else on that planet. Breha turned as if to leave, Leia still screeching.

"Is Leia all right?" Anakin couldn't help but ask.

"Apparently, she only likes her mother," Breha said with a quiet laugh. "I'll have to grow on her." She took another step towards the door but faced Anakin again. Warmth melted across her features. "She's teething, which doesn't seem to help. I was actually looking for a medic to see if they might have something for her."

"Teething…"

Anakin started to smile but caught himself and restrained it. Leia was crawling, picking fights with Luke, and teething. She'd grown so fast.

"Actually, why don't you take her while I go find the medic," Breha said, and she passed Leia to Anakin without waiting for his reply.

Anakin sputtered out a sound, but Leia was already in his hands and Breha had already stepped away.

"N-no, I don't think—"

"It will just be a moment."

Leia screamed all the louder as Breha walked to the door. Anakin's heart jumped into his throat, and for fear of terrorizing the infant, he pushed comfort at her through the Force while shushing her the way he'd seen mothers do.

Leia went quiet and stared up at Anakin with big, wet eyes. Her face screwed up in a frown, but she grabbed at her blanket and gnawed on it. She stared at Anakin, and Anakin stared back.

"Well," Breha said, "it seems she just needed her father."

Anakin peeled his eyes off Leia and hastily shook his head.

"No, I've never… I haven't held her before."

"Then perhaps it's a Jedi thing." Breha smiled and stepped out the door. "I'm going to get her a bottle. Perhaps you'll be able to get her to eat."

"N-no—" Anakin started to protest, but the door shut behind Breha and left him alone with Leia.

His heart skipped several more beats as he looked down at the bundle of infant in his arms. He shifted her to what he thought would be a more comfortable position and cradled her to his chest. His arms still felt dismally weak, and with the way his heart kept stuttering, he feared collapsing or losing his grip on her. Something that might hurt her.

Anakin dragged his IV machine to the corner of the room, sat on the floor with knees bent, and tucked Leia safely against him. All the while she stared at him with big, dark eyes and nibbled at her blanket. She yawned, and Anakin caught a glimpse of a tooth poking through her gum. The blotchy redness from crying faded from her skin, and he used the sleeve of his tunic to wipe away her tears. She had such round little cheeks.

Leia squeaked and babbled, and she wriggled in the blanket like she intended to pop out and start crawling away. Her hands grasped at the air before catching the blanket again, which she pulled at with vigorous strength. He smiled at her little hands—and she smiled, too. A big, silly, toothless smile.

Tears stung Anakin's eyes and rolled down his cheeks. She was perfect. So perfect and beautiful.

The door slid open, but where Anakin expected Breha, Obi-Wan appeared. He blinked in bemusement at the bed and then Anakin on the floor. He waved a baby's bottle in the air as he limped into the room, and the door closed behind him.

"I met Her Majesty on the way," he said. He made his way to the corner with some difficulty, and he definitely favored his left side. As he looked Anakin over, he said, "Interesting. Leia usually only likes Padmé."

"Are you all right?"

"Oh, just a few bruised ribs and a sore leg at this point." Obi-Wan leaned against the wall and slid down to sit beside Anakin. "I'll be fine." He offered Anakin the bottle.

"Maybe you should…" Anakin tried to pass Leia to Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan waved a hand to reject her.

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly." Obi-Wan tapped at his chest. "Bruised ribs and all. Would definitely put too much strain on them." He gave Anakin the bottle and leaned back, making himself comfortable against the wall.

"I don't…" Anakin let out a puff of air as he looked at the bottle and Leia. He had no idea what he was doing, had no idea if he should even be doing this, and he just kept crying like a fool.

"Just give her the bottle, Anakin, you aren't going to hurt her," Obi-Wan said with a slight laugh mingled in his words.

Anakin shifted Leia so she wasn't completely horizontal, propped her against his chest, and offered her the bottle. Her little hands grappled it greedily and she yanked it to her mouth and slurped at it as though half starved. As she drank, she shot a wary look at Obi-Wan before returning her steadfast gaze to Anakin. He sank into the corner into a more comfortable position.

"I don't understand," Anakin whispered, his eyes focused wholly on the living, breathing child in his arms. "How did she survive?"

"Whatever you did to stop the Death Star's superlaser severed the power source to Sidious' bombs," Obi-Wan said. "The bombs were built into the wiring, likely so the superlaser and bombs would go off at the same time. It was Sidious' plan, after all, to make you choose." Obi-Wan's tone softened. "It was your choice that ended up saving both. Some of the bombs went off, but the chain reaction was averted."

Anakin stared at Leia. The Force had given him a choice. It wasn't an individual against the greater good. It was light, which would save both, against dark, which would maybe save one or the other—or destroy both.

They sat in silence while Leia gulped nearly the entire bottle, but she started to doze in the process. Towards the end of the bottle, her eyelids fluttered, and though she fought, she finally fell asleep. Anakin set the bottle on the floor.

"You should burp her," Obi-Wan said, lightly.

"Burp?" Anakin blinked at Obi-Wan.

"On your shoulder," Obi-Wan said, and traces of a laugh worked into his voice again. He started to move Leia—with Anakin's hands still attached to her—and brought her upright with her head on Anakin's shoulder. He lightly patted her back. "You know, after they've eaten."

"Oh!"

Anakin had seen mothers do this before, too. He adjusted Leia, still fast asleep with her head resting on his shoulder, and patted her back. Obi-Wan returned to his relaxed position and smiled. Something warm rose in his eyes. He seemed to be savoring this moment, though Anakin wasn't particularly proud of his own pathetic blundering. Even so, Anakin couldn't resist his own smile. He didn't know why.

Leia burped but didn't wake.

Anakin brought Leia down so that he could cradle her in both arms. He stared at her, appreciating and becoming familiar with all her perfect little features, and he couldn't help the tears that returned to his eyes. He smiled anyway and shifted to the side, leaning on Obi-Wan, so his former Master could see her.

"Look," Anakin said, and he half laughed and half sobbed. "She has Padmé's nose."

Obi-Wan continued to smile but said nothing.

After some time, Obi-Wan shifted beside Anakin—at which point Anakin realized he still leaned much of his weight on his former Master who had suffered injury and probably didn't appreciate the extra burden. Anakin sat up.

"I'm sorry, Master. Did I…"

"No, no," Obi-Wan said, and he continued to squirm even after Anakin moved. His eyes went to his hands that he wrung in his lap. "Anakin, I need to discuss something with you, and I—"

The door to the room slid open, and Anakin and Obi-Wan lifted their faces to find Coric frowning at them. Coric opened his mouth to speak, but Obi-Wan beat him to it.

"In the name of—get out." Obi-Wan huffed and climbed up the wall. He marched, resolutely and hardly with a limp, towards Coric and waved him out the door.

"I beg your pardon?" Coric's brow furrowed.

"I just need a moment longer with him—" Obi-Wan started to say, but Coric pushed past him into the room.

"You can have a moment later, after he's rested. Hopefully on Coruscant, because he should sleep that long." Coric folded his arms and took a stern tone. "He needs rest. Or have you failed to recall that his heart stopped?" For good measure, he added a curt, "Sir."

Anakin's lip twitched nearly to a smile.

"Of course I didn't forget. And I know he needs rest." Obi-Wan folded his arms at his chest. He certainly put up a fight to have a simple chat with Anakin, and he puffed and scrunched his face, all out of sorts about it. Very unlike him. "But we were only talking. A little longer shouldn't hurt."

"I don't want you to agitate him." Coric turned a sharp look on Anakin. "He should be in bed resting and not sitting on the floor with half his equipment disassembled."

Anakin used the wall to slide to his feet while carefully holding Leia close to keep her safe and stable.

"I wasn't planning on agitating him," Obi-Wan said, a tinge of annoyance on his tongue.

"You always agitate him."

"Well, it's not that hard to do." Obi-Wan huffed again.

"Hey." Anakin frowned at them.

"You should be in bed," Coric said, firmly.

"Now you're agitating me." Anakin shot him a mock scowl, but it took too much effort to maintain. A small smile crept onto his lips.

Coric's stern expression didn't falter. He was not amused or impressed.

"Very well," Obi-Wan said, and he sighed as he ran both hands down his face. He went to Anakin and dragged the IV machine back to the side of the bed, and Anakin had no choice but to move along with it until he perched on the bed. Obi-Wan carefully took Leia from Anakin as he said, "Coric is right. You do need your rest."

Anakin relinquished Leia, but his brow furrowed despite his best attempts at staying neutral. It hurt to see her go. But it was right. Leia squirmed in her blanket and squeaked, and Obi-Wan flinched at her and gritted his teeth.

"Please don't wake up. Please."

"A calming nudge through the Force should help," Anakin said, remembering how it had instantly calmed her.

"I've tried that before. It didn't work very well." Obi-Wan chuckled.

Anakin's frown deepened. Obi-Wan didn't seem to notice or care. He offered Anakin a smile, and though Anakin avoided making eye contact, he could feel the warmth of the look.

"A talk, later, then," Obi-Wan said, softly. "You and I have some things to sort through."

Anakin could only offer the slightest nod. His chin went to his chest and he stared at his hands in his lap. He fidgeted with the front of his tunic. A talk—things to sort through: with Obi-Wan, that could mean a thorough reprimand or a quiet offer for Anakin to open up. Anakin wasn't sure he could tolerate either. He knew he'd failed on the Death Star and didn't need anyone to tell him about it. And he didn't think—he couldn't—he wasn't certain he would be able to speak to Obi-Wan anyway. It wasn't typical of their relationship.

Even if he knew it was necessary.

Obi-Wan nodded in return and shuffled out the door. His quiet shushes at Leia went out the door with him. Coric waited until the door closed before he folded his arms over his chest and gave Anakin another look. A stern one. One with the full weight of a hardened trooper behind it. Wow, he'd gotten good at that. It took a moment for Anakin to realize why he was getting that look, though.

"Oh!" He spun on the bed and crawled under the blanket, burrowing for warmth but also to hide from Coric.

Coric muttered something but otherwise left him alone.