When SearchMan suddenly appears and announces that he and Raika have found the old Blaze mansion, there's a long, silent pause as everyone stops whatever they're doing and stares at him. Chaud in particular can't take his eyes off SearchMan, and he opens and closes his mouth uselessly for the duration of the long pause, until finally he finds his voice.
"You . . . f-found it?" He can't seem to manage more than a shocked whisper.
SearchMan nods. "It's near a town called Kiyobetsu, just south of a small mountain range."
"Kiyobetsu," Chaud murmurs. He's not sure if he remembers that. He doesn't remember much about the town that was near the old Blaze mansion, just that there was one, and he thinks the name Kiyobetsu sounds familiar, but he doesn't know if that's just his mind playing tricks on him or if he really does have some vague memory of the town.
It doesn't really matter, though, does it? Mimic points out, nudging him gently. This means they found your mother's grave.
Chaud nods absently. He's wondering how he's supposed to be feeling about this - excited, maybe? Happy? Eager?
If he's honest, he just feels kind of . . . nervous. He has no idea what to expect, and he never really thought about what would happen when Raika and SearchMan would eventually find his mother's grave.
"Raika's on his way back now," SearchMan says. "We have the location marked on our map, so we'll be able to find it again easily."
"Right then!" Haruka suddenly exclaims, clapping her hands together and startling more than one of the Hikari house's occupants. "I suppose I'd better see what I can do about getting you kids ready for a road trip!"
Chaud blinks, briefly distracted from his shock. "K-kids?"
Does that mean the adult Hikaris aren't coming with them? Actually, he hadn't even thought about who would be coming when his mother's grave was found. Raika, obviously, and definitely Mimic - Lan too, he thinks, because of course Lan wouldn't miss something as important as this. But he hadn't thought about whether or not Dr. Hikari and Haruka would be coming as well.
He's not sure if he was hoping they would come or not.
Dr. Hikari seems to read his mind. "Do you want us to come, too?" he asks gently.
"I- I'm not . . . I don't . . . know . . ."
"We don't mind if you want to go alone, or just with your siblings," Dr. Hikari says, putting an arm around Haruka, who nods her agreement. "This is for you, remember. But if you want us to come, then we will. It's your choice, Chaud."
His choice.
Sometimes it feels like he never has any choices in life. The thought is almost foreign to him - no matter what he does, it always seems like he just makes things worse, either for himself or those around him. And if he makes a wrong decision, people will just get angry at him for it, won't they? That's what always happens.
But . . . but the Hikaris aren't like that. That kind of thinking was ingrained into him by his father, who never gave Chaud any choices. Not any real ones, anyway. Behave or be punished, and more often than not, he was punished for things he didn't even know he did. There were no choices in a life like that.
"I- I wanna . . . I just want to go w-with M-Mimic and- and Lan," Chaud says, and then immediately winces, expecting the adult Hikaris' expressions to twist in anger, waiting for the yelling to start.
"Alright then," Dr. Hikari agrees.
And . . . that's it.
No one gets mad at him for saying he just wants to go with his twin sister and his adoptive brother. Dr. Hikari has no complaints, and Haruka simply starts packing stuff for their 'road trip', as she calls it. Even Lan doesn't get angry at Chaud for choosing to go without his parents.
It feels weird, doesn't it? Mimic is watching him, sympathy flowing through their connection. Coming from a place like that- No need to ask what she means, because the memories are as clear as day in their minds. -to something like this . . . It's weird.
It . . . it kind of is, Chaud murmurs.
Mimic absently strokes Ragdoll's head, turning to watch Dr. Hikari as he moves over to help his wife pack. Do you think you'll ever call them Mom and Dad, like I do? she asks.
I'm . . . not sure, Chaud replies, lowering his head a little. He feels a faint warmth on his leg and glances down to see the tip of Ragdoll's thick tail twitching there. I've never thought about it before. Do . . . do I need to?
Like Dad said, Mimic says, it's your choice.
He's not entirely sure whether he will start calling the adult Hikaris Mom and Dad at any point. No one's tried to correct him, even though he's been adopted by them. But . . . he has to admit, it's nice to know the option is there.
For now, though, he'll focus on his mother's grave. SearchMan said Raika's on his way back, so it won't be long before he arrives. Chaud can think about whether or not he wants to call the adult Hikaris Mom and Dad afterwards, however he feels about seeing his mother's grave for the first time since . . . since she was buried, he thinks. He doesn't remember if he visited the grave during that short window of time between when he got ProtoMan and when he moved to DenTech City.
SearchMan pops up every so often, giving them periodic updates on where Raika is. It takes less time than Chaud had thought it would for Raika to actually get back - maybe it's because he's driving a motorbike. Those tend to be pretty fast compared to cars, and aside from that, Raika's heading straight back instead of going halfway across the country on a quest with no actual fixed destination.
Haruka's finished packing for them, and a lot of it is just food. And clothes, of course, made for winter weather since SearchMan relayed a message from Raika saying that there's still snow in the countryside of Japan, though it's mostly cleared up in the cities. Haruka put in warmer clothes for both Chaud and Mimic, though she certainly hasn't ignored Lan - who keeps trying to insist that he's fine with the cold. He goes quiet when MegaMan brings up that time he almost froze to death during Gospel's reign of terror last year, though.
The loud roar of Raika's motorbike heralds the arrival of said Sharoan, and he barely manages to get through the door before Mimic practically mobs him. Chaud hangs back, fighting with the excitement he's feeling from Mimic and his own strange nerves, and eventually Raika gets his coat off and hangs it up before heading into the living room.
"Welcome back!" Haruka calls from the kitchen, where she's preparing some last-minute food for the trip.
"Thank you," Raika says, nodding with a smile. He's somehow not bothered at all by Mimic pretty much clinging to him as he crosses the room and sets himself down on the sofa.
"SearchMan said you found it," Chaud says, hovering nearby. An obvious statement, maybe, but he can't think of anything else to say.
"We did," Raika confirms, looking up at him with a much softer smile. "We can head there right now, if you want?"
Chaud hesitates, but luckily for him, Lan chooses that moment to spring through the door leading upstairs. He catches sight of Raika and breaks out into a massive grin.
"Raika!" Lan cries happily. "Finally, you're back!"
"What do you mean, 'finally'?" Raika gives Lan a mock-offended look. "I wasn't out there on a sight-seeing trip, you know."
"Oh, I know, it's just, well, we missed you is all," Lan clarifies, with a sheepish laugh.
Chaud's honestly grateful for Lan's astonishingly good timing.
While they're talking, he glances at the table in front of the sofas, and sees another reunion going on. Sure, SearchMan has been back and forth between the Hikari house and Raika for the duration of the return trip, but he hasn't been properly back just yet - and now that he is, ProtoMan is taking full advantage of that.
It's a similar scene to when Raika and SearchMan were leaving. ProtoMan's clinging to SearchMan so tightly that if he were human, his bones would've been crushed and his lungs would probably be ruptured or something, and poor SearchMan looks very awkward. But the biggest difference now is that ProtoMan is purring as loudly as he can physically manage, and Arcadia and MegaMan aren't trying to pull them apart. Bass isn't trying to hide his smile this time, too.
"So how're we gonna get there?" Lan asks, bringing Chaud's attention back to the humans of the group - or odd extended family, whichever it is. "I don't think we can all fit on your bike, unless you've got one of those little car things attached to it."
"It wouldn't be a good idea to use my motorbike anyway," Raika replies. He glances at Mimic, still clinging to him, and then Chaud, who blinks owlishly. "I'm fairly certain the noise would hurt these two."
"Earmuffs wouldn't help much," Mimic murmurs, before Lan can bring it up. "Too close, too loud."
"We don't like the idea of having cold wind blasted in our faces for half the countryside anyway," Chaud adds.
"Ah . . . yeah . . ." Lan winces in sympathy.
"We'll take a car," Raika decides. He looks over at Dr. Hikari. "Excuse me, Dr. Hikari? Do you-"
"We don't have a car, but Famous does," Dr. Hikari interrupts. "I'm sure he'd be happy to lend it to you for something like this. In fact, I'll call him right now." He takes out his PET before Raika can even answer.
Raika blinks, looking faintly surprised, and then huffs out a laugh and looks at Chaud. "Scientists," he says good-naturedly. "They're prepared for anything, aren't they?"
Chaud shrugs.
"Wait, hold on, who's gonna drive the car?" Lan wonders.
Raika raises an eyebrow. "I will."
Lan's mouth drops open. "Y-you? I didn't know you could drive a car!"
"I can drive a motorbike, a snowmobile, along with various types of aircraft, and yet the fact that I can drive a car surprises you?"
"Good point," Lan admits, looking somewhat abashed.
Raika shakes his head, fondly exasperated with Lan's antics, and then turns to Chaud once again. "So, when do you want to leave? You didn't answer."
Of course he didn't answer. He hesitated and then thanked whatever gods are out there that Lan decided to burst in at that exact moment and put it out of everyone's minds. Apparently not for long, though, and now Chaud's faced with the question yet again.
When does he want to leave to see his mother's grave?
"Chaud?" Lan asks, peering at him, now more subdued. "Are you okay? You look kinda . . . you look like you're gonna throw up."
Chaud swallows and looks anywhere but at Lan, or at Raika, and ends up making eye contact with Mimic. A wordless, soundless thought passes between them through their connection, and he senses a decision made on Mimic's end, and he's grateful for that, because he can't seem to do it himself.
"Now," Mimic announces.
Lan and Raika blink at her.
"We go now," she clarifies. "Soon as we're ready." She glances over at her dad. "Soon as we've got Famous's car, anyway."
"Which we do," Dr. Hikari says, putting his PET away. "He's driving over now. It shouldn't take long."
"We go now, then," Raika agrees, nodding.
True to Dr. Hikari's word, Famous doesn't take long to show up. He helps them get the things Haruka packed for them into the trunk, hands over the keys to Raika, and extracts a promise out of him that he'll be careful with it. Chaud's not sure why Famous thinks it's necessary to ask Raika of all people to be careful with something like a car, since apparently he can drive pretty much any vehicle you could possibly think of, but he supposes that's just something people who're attached to their cars do when entrusting said car to someone else.
Lan sits in front with Raika - Mimic calls it the 'shotgun' seat, though when they ask what that means, she admits she has no idea - and Chaud and Mimic sit in the back with Ragdoll between them. They'd debated whether they should leave Ragdoll behind since they're going to be heading to the snow-covered countryside, but Ragdoll just jumped into the back and made the decision for them.
"We were asking around," Raika is saying, "and it sounded like your mother visited the town."
"She did?" Chaud blinks slowly, not entirely sure how to process that. He has very vague memories of a few trips into the town - Kiyobetsu, that is - but he doesn't remember anything about them. He's not sure if it's his odd memory loss or just the fact that it was so long ago that makes it difficult to remember.
"Not very often, though," SearchMan says. "But enough that a few of the older residents actually remember her. They also remember she sometimes had a little boy with her."
"That'd be Chaud, then," Lan speaks up, with a glance at Chaud.
So his vague memories of visiting Kiyobetsu aren't made-up, then. He really did visit the town sometimes, and apparently with his mother. He tries to think, tries to remember, but no matter how hard he tries, he can't even bring up any vague memories of his father ever joining them.
A warm weight steps onto his lap, startling him out of his thoughts, and Ragdoll settles down with his jet plane-like purr. The Navis had been sitting on top of him while he was curled up between Chaud and Mimic, and Ragdoll didn't seem to mind since the holograms don't really have any actual weight to them, but now they're just sitting in the space he left behind.
Of course they took all of the Navis with them. There's no way Chaud would ever leave ProtoMan and Arcadia behind. MegaMan goes where Lan goes - and by extension so does the core in the heart container - and Bass has rarely left their side since he began living with them. As for SearchMan, well, he helped to find Chaud's mother's grave, so it'd be rude to say he couldn't come too.
Chaud kind of finds it much more difficult to concentrate on trying to remember whether his father ever bothered to visit Kiyobetsu when there's a giant black cat purring away on his lap. Maybe it's for the best, because thinking about that was only making him feel worse than he had been back at the Hikari house. The wonders of Mimic's emotional support animal.
Our emotional support animal, Mimic corrects him. He's our cat now, not just mine. He calls us his Cat-Persons, remember.
The attempt at humour to try and lighten the mood doesn't go unnoticed, though Chaud still finds it difficult to even try and crack a smile. Facial expressions aren't really necessary when your twin sister can read your mind, though, and she's fine with smiling enough for both of them.
Kiyobetsu is pretty far away, so they end up staying in a hotel for the night. Raika estimates it'll take another day or two of direct travelling to get to their destination, so it's likely this won't be the only hotel they stay in, though they could always sleep in the car if they can't find anywhere else. Lan doesn't seem too enthusiastic about that idea, though.
Chaud's too full of his odd nerves to sleep properly, and Mimic and their Navis keep him company until morning comes. Raika tells them off for not going to sleep, though he softens a little when they explain why none of them went to bed. He still tells them they have to sleep at some point, though.
So they do. The inside of the car is warm enough that they don't need to wear any of the winter clothes Haruka packed for them just yet, and Chaud and Mimic are eventually lulled to sleep by the warmth. It seems Famous personally upgraded the temperature system in his car, and while Chaud feels a vague spark of interest in figuring out what changes Famous made, he finds himself drifting off before he can consider it.
They kind of end up regretting that when they stop at another hotel - this one more of an inn than an actual hotel, though. Because they went to sleep in Famous's car, they don't really need to sleep later on, and despite Raika's insistence that they get into bed and at least try to go to sleep, they just don't want to.
In the end, they do. Mostly because Raika almost gets on his knees and begs them, which . . . would be mildly undignified for him. So they climb into bed out of pity for Raika, and surprisingly enough, they actually manage to go to sleep.
The group starts to see snow partway through the third day of travel. That means they're getting pretty close to Kiyobetsu now - and finally, just as the evening starts to draw to a close and night falls in earnest, they arrive.
"It's too dark to head there now," Raika tells them, as they climb out of the car. "We'll stay at the local hotel-"
"Inn," SearchMan corrects.
"We'll stay at the local inn and go up in the morning," Raika continues flawlessly. He glances at Chaud questioningly. "Is that alright?"
Chaud doesn't trust himself to speak at the moment, so he just nods. He probably needs some time to mentally prepare himself for this anyway, so sticking around here is for the best.
Just like the first night, his nerves keep him awake. While his twin sister and their Navis keep him company once again, he wonders why he's so nervous. Why he's so . . . scared.
Is it because his attempt to talk to his father in prison went so badly? Because the last time he saw one of his birth parents, he was basically told his life is worthless because he failed at doing the one thing he was born for?
"You're worthless to me."
Cold, uncaring words. Words that cut so deeply that Raika and SearchMan decided to take matters into their own hands to track down the other half of Chaud's birth parents, his dead mother. Words that set this whole quest in motion, and words that have haunted him and made that numbness come back every single time he thought about them.
The dead can't speak, but what if his mother never cared about him, either?
You remember when you said your mother might've been the only thing stopping your father from hurting you?
He startles, and looks at Mimic. She's not looking at him - she's looking out the window, in the direction Raika said the old Blaze mansion is in.
I think if she felt the same way as him, Mimic says, she wouldn't have stopped him from hurting you. She probably would've hurt you too, or maybe she would've just ignored you or something. But she didn't.
"And SearchMan and Raika said she sometimes took you with her when she visited this town," ProtoMan adds, only murmuring the words just loud enough for them to hear. He may not be able to read Chaud's deeper thoughts like Mimic or his brother can, but he can certainly get the gist of things just by listening.
"Those don't sound like the actions of a woman who didn't care about you," Arcadia says.
This is why you're so nervous, right? Mimic asks. Because you're scared your mother never cared either?
Now that she's said it, it suddenly makes perfect sense. She's right - he's been so nervous about this ever since SearchMan showed up and said they'd found his mother's grave because he's scared that he'll find out his mother was the same as his father.
He's scared he's nothing more than the product of a marriage between two uncaring humans who only had a child because they needed someone to carry on their legacy, not because they actually wanted a child. He's scared the terrified life he's had up until now (and is still having, in many ways) will be the only thing he'll ever remember of his childhood because there was never any chance of having a different life in the first place.
Mimic leans against him, closing her eyes. I don't know what she looked like, she murmurs. I didn't even know her name until we saw it in that memory-thing. I can tell you one thing, though - your mother definitely loved you.
Chaud doesn't know - or remember - what his mother looked like either. But oddly enough, despite his fears threatening to overwhelm him, Mimic's certainty appears to settle something within himself. They don't go away, but his nerves aren't so bad anymore.
It's odd, really. Before all of this happened, the only person he could really talk to or even remotely connect with was ProtoMan. And yet somehow, the girl who accidentally stole his body has become one of the people closest to him, along with two entirely different NetNavis who became actual brothers by sheer chance.
We're a weird family, I'll give you that, Mimic admits. That doesn't make us any less of one, though.
It doesn't, Chaud agrees quietly. I love all of you, so much.
"We love you too," Arcadia says, speaking for all three of them. ProtoMan just simply purrs as loudly as he can without accidentally waking up any of the others, and Mimic rubs her cheek against Chaud's shoulder and makes a quiet noise that's almost a purr as well.
They eventually get some sleep, but Chaud's rest is fitful and disturbed despite his family's reassurances. His fears aren't so bad now, but they're not gone, and he finds himself jerking awake from memories or nightmares - he's not sure which - throughout the night.
In the morning, the group begins heading up the hill toward the old Blaze mansion and its surrounding grounds. Chaud has vague memories of this path - not covered in snow like it is now, but familiar enough that he gets flashes of half-formed memories while walking up. Memories of what this place used to look like, when it wasn't abandoned and buried in winter snow.
The old Blaze mansion looms up ahead of them soon enough, and Chaud stumbles to a shuddering halt. He senses Mimic's intentions to try and encourage him forward, but it's Raika who gets there first, gently nudging Chaud and somehow managing to look serious despite Ragdoll clinging to his shoulders like a big fluffy scarf.
Maybe it's that somewhat-ridiculous image that makes Chaud's feet move. The only reason Raika's got Ragdoll on his shoulders is because, giant thick-furred cat or not, Ragdoll and snow definitely do not mix. And it's . . . odd, honestly, to see Raika - who's a dog-person by default - with a cat like Ragdoll clinging to him. Odd, and kind of funny. And it shakes Chaud out of his sudden paralysing nerves.
With Chaud able to move again, they keep going. They head around the back, where the snow-covered field is waiting for them, and Chaud looks around as more half-formed memories flash through his mind. The field as he last saw it, neatly trimmed with gentle slopes from the hilly area, the forest border just visible in the distance, mountain peaks even further back.
All covered in snow, now, but still recognisable. Old, abandoned, most likely overgrown underneath the snow, but close enough to the memory-thing that he, Mimic, ProtoMan, and Arcadia put together.
Raika leads them out into the snow-covered field. Chaud's not sure if he's shivering from the cold or the fear - maybe both, it's entirely plausible. He feels a little better when ProtoMan presses against the scarf wrapped around his neck, purring gently, when Arcadia appears on his shoulder with Bass beside him, and doesn't shiver so much when Mimic takes his hand and squeezes it, just as a reminder that she's here.
They reach a patch of snow-covered ground that doesn't seem all that different to the rest of it, except Chaud has vague memories of this exact location. A funeral, a silent and mournful affair, and his father ordering him not to cry even though his mother is dead and buried under the ground. Not a pleasant memory, really. Not that any kind of funeral is pleasant.
"Right there," SearchMan says, pointing to a seemingly-random spot on the ground. "The snow's buried it again, but that's where Keiko Blaze's grave is."
Raika hunkers down and starts digging even before SearchMan has finished speaking. Chaud kind of feels like he should be helping, because this is his mother's grave after all, but he's shaking too much to be of use right now. But Raika doesn't complain or even bring up the idea of anyone helping, seemingly too determined and focused on his task to think about that.
The grave is dug out quickly, and Chaud's breath mists in front of him as he breathes out, seeing the name on the gravestone.
Keiko Blaze.
His mother's grave.
He's not sure if he makes any kind of noise. He only knows that he stumbles forward a step, and when Mimic lets go of him, he keeps going. Raika gets up and backs away to give him room, and Chaud slowly lowers himself down, ignoring the cold bite of the snow through his pants, and sits in front of his mother's grave for the first time in almost a decade.
"Mother," he whispers. "I'm . . . I'm-" Not home. This place stopped being home after she died, he thinks. "I'm back."
No answer from the gravestone in front of him, but something in his chest loosens as he speaks, and suddenly he can feel cold tears dripping down his cheeks. He doesn't bother trying to suppress them.
Mimic, he begins, mental voice shaking as much as his body, I need to be alone. Please.
"C'mon," Mimic says, tugging on Lan and Raika's sleeves. "Let's go explore the mansion, see what we can find!"
Even as they let out confused protests, Lan and Raika allow Mimic to pull them back toward the mansion. Chaud's never been more grateful for Mimic's energetic if introverted personality than right now.
As their crunching footsteps fade away, he comes aware that he's not completely alone. Arcadia and Bass vanished off his shoulder when Mimic left - most likely Arcadia dragged Bass away, remarkably without a sound - but ProtoMan is still here, body pressed against the scarf around his neck, shadows coiling around his limbs.
After a moment or two of silence, ProtoMan gets up and steps onto thin air, crouching where he stands. He looks up at Chaud, shivering - from the cold, not from fear - and tilts his head.
"Does . . . does that include me?" ProtoMan asks. "Do you w-want me to go too?"
Chaud shakes his head and gathers ProtoMan into his gloved hands, and his primary Navi's shivering lessens a little. Not you, he whispers. Never you.
ProtoMan lets out a faint purr and curls up, snuggling into the warmth Chaud's trying to provide for him.
Chaud doesn't know for sure how long he sits there. Long enough for his backside to go numb from the cold, definitely. But still he sits, looking at his mother's grave, holding his shivering NetNavi in his hands and trying to tame his own shivering as well.
After some time - he's not sure how long, it could be minutes or even a few hours - he becomes aware of a faint trace of excitement from Mimic's end of their connection. They're far enough apart that they can't speak to each other, but she can still send him a wordless mental message.
She's found something, and she wants to give it to him. Or maybe Lan or Raika found that something. He's not entirely certain - no matter how much he can understand mental messages like this, their true meaning is often lost without actual words.
Chaud debates whether he should get up or not. With Mimic's mental message came a question he understood even without words - does he want to come in and see what this thing is, or does he want one of them to come out and give it to him?
He makes a choice - he's making a lot of choices lately, and that's quite an odd thing - and transfers ProtoMan to his shoulder, letting the cat-Navi snuggle into the scarf again. He pushes himself to his feet, brushing the snow from his pants, and gives his mother's grave a long look before he turns and heads back to the mansion.
There's a back entrance he vaguely remembers, so he doesn't need to go all the way around the front to get inside. Raika didn't notice the back entrance when he came here because he'd been too intent on trying to find Chaud's mother's grave, and hadn't needed to go inside the mansion anyway.
Stepping back inside the old Blaze mansion feels strange. The darkness means little to his night vision, but the decrepit state the place is in makes an odd sort of sadness well up inside him. He may not have spent much time here - not much time that he actually fully remembers, at least - but he still has some sort of connection with it.
He follows Mimic's mental directions through the old Blaze mansion. Sometimes random flashes of memories threaten to distract him, but ProtoMan's gentle purring helps to focus his mind.
Soon, he's stepping onto the top floor of the mansion. He vaguely recalls this being where the wings were - his own, he thinks, his mother's too . . . and father's. He'd never wondered why Mother and Father had separate wings, but now . . . he's not so sure he needs to wonder, anymore.
Mimic directs him to his mother's wing. He hesitates for a moment before stepping over the threshold, feeling a shudder like he's stepping into a place he's not allowed to go in, like he's ignorantly intruding on someone else's private space. Technically he is, but he remembers this place just as vaguely as he does everything else - so he must have come here sometimes.
He finds the others inside his mother's bedroom. Or what used to be his mother's bedroom. Stepping inside kind of feels like a punch to the gut, only from his memories, and he's distracted by the interior, so much that he doesn't notice Mimic until she's right in front of him.
Over here, Mimic says, gently tugging on his arm to make him follow her. She definitely senses how distracted he is, but she's good at distracting him herself, so she can make him pay attention even with his attention divided.
She takes him over to a desk at the far side of the room, where Lan and Raika are waiting for them. There's a computer here, an old model with a screen covered in so much dust that it looks almost impossible to clean. But it's not the computer that Mimic draws his attention to, nor is his attention taken by said computer in the first place.
No, his eyes are immediately drawn to the framed photo standing next to the keyboard. The glass is just as dusty as the computer screen, but the image is still visible. A woman with long white hair, holding a small toddler on her lap. They're both smiling, the woman looking at the toddler, and the toddler reaching up to her.
His mother. And him, when he was younger.
Chaud reaches out, but stops just shy of actually touching the photo. He doesn't know why he hesitates. He just does. It feels wrong to touch it, somehow.
ProtoMan has no such problems, though. He vanishes in a flicker and reappears on the desk, just in front of the photo, and looks at the woman - at Chaud's mother - with his head tilted.
Seeing ProtoMan alongside the photo sparks something in Chaud's mind. Some sort of recognition he didn't realise until right now because he'd forgotten what his mother looks like.
His mother had long white hair. So does ProtoMan.
Chaud sucks in a sharp breath and grips the edge of the desk with both hands. That can't be right, can it? His father is the one who made ProtoMan, so why would he give ProtoMan the same hair as his wife, who he clearly didn't care for, the same way he didn't care for Chaud?
"Chaud?"
A sudden touch on his shoulder startles him, bringing him back to reality. Raika's looking down at him with a concerned expression, Mimic standing next to him with wide eyes - she senses Chaud's thoughts, and it's just as confusing to her as it is to him. But it's ProtoMan who draws Chaud's attention the most, looking up from where he's still standing on the desk, clearly worried.
"S-same hair," Chaud whispers, before he can even think about it. "They have . . . the same hair."
Raika blinks and glances at ProtoMan, and then at the photo. His eyes widen.
"Same hair?" Lan peers at the photo as well, looking between it and ProtoMan, who now looks completely bewildered by this. Lan's mouth drops open when he sees it. "Oh . . . oh, wow, they do . . ."
"Who created ProtoMan?" Raika asks Chaud.
"Father did." He can't seem to speak above a whisper anymore. He's in too much shock from this revelation. "That- that's what he said. But . . ."
"But?"
He only realised it as he spoke. He has no idea why he's never thought about this before.
Chaud looks up at Raika, eyes wide. "I got ProtoMan the day after the funeral. That was just a few days after she died."
Raika seems to realise it, too. "ProtoMan," he says, turning to him, "do you know when you were created?"
"After Chaud's mother died," ProtoMan replies.
"Wait, what?" Lan breaks in, blinking. "But if Chaud got you the day after the funeral, how could you have been made after his mother died? There's no way anyone can program a NetNavi that fast. Not even Dad can do that, and he helped to invent NetNavis. It takes weeks to fully program a custom NetNavi, especially one like ProtoMan."
"But- but Father said . . ." Chaud trails off. "H-he said . . . he said he created ProtoMan. He said he made ProtoMan to be my battle partner."
"Maybe he was lyin'," Mimic murmurs.
That sends icy cold shock jolting through his blood. Father . . . Father lied about creating ProtoMan? But why? Why lie about something like that? Why pretend he made ProtoMan after Chaud's mother died, when it would obviously be impossible to create a custom NetNavi so quickly?
And why in hell's name did Chaud not realise this before?
No, he knows the answer to that last one. He was - and is - too scared of his father to question anything the man did or does. Father likely counted on that fear to stop Chaud from figuring out that it would've been impossible to create ProtoMan in the short period of time between the death of Chaud's mother and her funeral.
"If Father didn't create ProtoMan," Chaud asks numbly, "who did?"
"I'd say ProtoMan should know, but he's evidently been lied to, as well," Raika says, glancing at ProtoMan.
"I don't . . . I-I thought . . ." ProtoMan can't quite get his words out anyway, but this time he's stammering from shock rather than the cold or his own nerves. "My- my programming . . . says . . . I checked. It says Master Blaze created me. It's- it's his creator code, I don't understand . . ."
"Creator code?" Mimic repeats, as a sense of puzzlement - well, more puzzlement - comes through their connection.
"It's like a digital fingerprint or something," Lan tells her. "Everyone who creates NetNavis - whether it's an individual person or a company - has their own personal 'creator code' which tells others who look into a Navi's core programming who created them. It's not something that can be found easily, since it's buried really deep within a NetNavi's core programming, and it's even harder to hack into it and change it."
"So that makes this a complete mystery," Raika murmurs. "If Shuseki Blaze didn't create ProtoMan, why is his creator code in there?"
"I think I may have an idea," SearchMan says.
They all look at him. He's standing on Raika's shoulder, and up until now, he'd been watching the scene quietly, almost thoughtfully. Now, though, he vanishes for a brief moment and then reappears next to ProtoMan, who's so completely startled by this paradox of creator codes that he doesn't even jump.
"Are you able to take off your helmet?" SearchMan asks him.
"My- m-my helmet?" ProtoMan stares at him blankly. "Why would you . . . I mean, no, I don't . . . I don't think I can."
SearchMan hums, glancing at the photo of Chaud and his mother. He turns back to ProtoMan with a serious look.
"I understand if you refuse this request, but . . ." SearchMan hesitates for a brief moment. "ProtoMan, I'd like to try and hack into your core programming."
ProtoMan's hologram flickers spastically for a moment, and his hair bristles in shock. He's not the only one - everyone, even Raika, is shocked at this sudden request. And they can't really be blamed; hacking into a NetNavi's core programming is just . . . Forget how difficult it would be, it's an invasion of a NetNavi's privacy on a level that doesn't even have a human comparison.
"Please." SearchMan almost looks to be begging, and that's just as shocking as his request. "I have an idea, but I need to hack into your core programming to confirm it."
"I-idea?" ProtoMan stares at him for a moment or two, and then swallows. "Well . . . um . . . o-okay. Just . . . just try not to . . ."
"I promise I'll be as careful as I can," SearchMan says solemnly.
"R-right . . ."
Despite agreeing, ProtoMan still hesitates before he reaches up. He gently touches the NaviMark on his chest, and small holographic screens appear around him - the programming of his core, the very centre of what makes him him. It's something that only a NetNavi's creator sees in detail, or those who specialise in repairing or healing NetNavis. A NetNavi's core can be ripped out and still function without a body, but the programming of that core is completely different. One wrong move, even the slightest mistake, could damage the NetNavi forever.
SearchMan, true to his word, is as careful as possible while handling the coding and programming on the various screens. A few of them flicker and switch between normal cybernetic blue and some kind of odd inky faded black colour - it doesn't take a genius to realise those screens represent the Poltergeist Program in ProtoMan, and SearchMan leaves those alone as much as possible.
Even Chaud has no idea exactly what SearchMan is doing. He may be able to hack a computer faster than even most adults, but he's never messed with anything as complex or delicate as a NetNavi's core programming, and he highly doubts he ever will.
After several tense minutes, SearchMan seems to finally find whatever it is he's looking for. He has a nervous but excited smile on his face as he steps back and allows ProtoMan to finally banish the screens of his core programming, and as soon as they're gone, ProtoMan jolts like something's shocked him.
"You should be able to remove it now," SearchMan tells him. "Go on."
ProtoMan reaches up slowly, hands trembling, and-
And he removes his helmet, visor and all.
Chaud has never seen ProtoMan without his helmet, not in all the years they've spent together. Even Mimic has never seen it, for all of her extensive knowledge of the anime of this reality. Until right now, until SearchMan did the unthinkable, even ProtoMan himself didn't know he could remove it.
ProtoMan blinks - and for the first time, his blink is actually visible rather than a slight movement of his head that suggests a blink - and looks up at Chaud.
The hair hidden under his helmet is just as messy and wild as the rest of it. But it's his eyes that draw Chaud's attention - unlike Chaud and Mimic's eyes, which just have slitted pupils, ProtoMan has full-on cat eyes. That's not surprising, given that he is a cat, but it's the colour of his eyes that makes another jolt of recognition flash through Chaud's body.
His left eye is red, and his right eye is blue. Albino, Chaud thinks is the word for it, though having two different-coloured eyes like this is unusual, even for a NetNavi.
Chaud tears his eyes away from his helmet-less NetNavi and looks at the photo of him and his mother. He'd been focused on her hair before, because of course hardly anyone has pure-white hair, but now . . .
Now he looks at her eyes, and sees they're the same colour as ProtoMan's. Left eye red - or some sort of pinkish red, at least - and right eye blue.
"He looks just like her," Raika breathes. "But . . . why would Shuseki Blaze create a NetNavi in the image of his wife?"
"He didn't."
Chaud and the others blink and look at the two Navis on the desk again. SearchMan is still sporting that smile, but it wasn't him who spoke - it was ProtoMan.
"What?" Chaud can't help but stare at his NetNavi - at his eyes, the same as his mother's aside from the cat thing - in shock. "What do you mean?"
"Shuseki didn't create me," ProtoMan clarifies, and hearing him refer to Father as 'Shuseki' rather than 'Master Blaze' is even more startling. "He forcibly reprogrammed my core programming to make it seem like he created me."
"Until a few moments ago, you thought he created you, too," Raika points out. "Why do you suddenly know that?"
"Because the memories were sealed away," ProtoMan replies. "He couldn't figure out how to completely delete them, so he sealed them inside my core programming, where no one would think to look." He glances at SearchMan, pupils flashing in the light. "Well, no one except a very determined sniper, anyway." He turns back to Chaud, and his expression softens into a smile. "Shuseki didn't create me. Mother did."
"Mother?" Chaud whispers. "You mean . . . my mother?"
ProtoMan nods. Chaud's legs suddenly feel very weak, but he feels Mimic next to him, feels the reassurance she sends through their connection - along with the faint traces of shock at . . . whatever this all is. That makes him feel a little stronger, with his twin sister next to him, knowing that he's not the only one who's totally shocked by this.
"I . . . I kept trying to call her by her name, but she insisted on being called Mother," ProtoMan says. He looks down, eyes half-lidded and dark with sadness. "She knew she was dying, but she didn't want you to be alone when she was gone. She couldn't have any more children and Shuseki would never agree to adopt, so she went with the next best thing."
"She created a NetNavi," SearchMan murmurs. "She created ProtoMan."
ProtoMan nods again. "I was never intended to just be a battle partner. Mother created me to be Chaud's guardian, his friend, and his brother." He twists his mouth in a wry, bitter smile. "I guess I kinda failed at that first one . . ."
"I seem to recall you trying to bring down half the ceiling on Father's head," Chaud says.
"I didn't know before now, but my true function is to protect my operator - or operators - at all costs," ProtoMan murmurs, looking up. "I'm overprotective of Chaud and Mimic because I'm supposed to be like that." He glances at Arcadia, who's standing on Mimic's shoulder, wide-eyed and more or less in complete shock. "That function extends to anyone I consider family. That's what Mother intended. But . . . Shuseki buried that function along with my memories of Mother and replaced it with battle-data. Pure battle-data, that is, in order to make me into a battle-Navi rather than the guardian-Navi I was supposed to be."
His shadows drift around him, and he glances at them with a small, much softer smile.
"But Shuseki couldn't get rid of the guardian-function entirely," he continues, reaching out to brush a hand through a few tendrils of his shadows. "It showed up in my personality as protective rage whenever my operators were threatened. When I absorbed the Poltergeist Program, the seal was weakened, and my original function started to leak through even more. I couldn't interfere with Shuseki and protect Chaud like I was supposed to before then because I didn't know I was meant to, and most NetNavis won't attack their creator - who I thought was Shuseki, until now. But with the seal weakening more and more, I could . . . well, I couldn't really do what I was supposed to, but I wasn't so . . . obedient, let's say. I was more willing to oppose Shuseki, and eventually the seal weakened enough that I was able to outright attack him. And SearchMan managed to break through whatever was left of the seal just now."
"This was your idea?" Raika glances at his Navi questioningly. "This is why you wanted to hack into ProtoMan's core programming?"
"Well . . ." SearchMan looks a little hesitant. "I didn't know it would end up revealing something like this, but I had a suspicion that the truth was buried in ProtoMan's core programming. The fact that he has the same hair as Chaud's mother made me think that maybe that wasn't the only thing he had in common with her."
"If Chaud's father was the one who sealed all that stuff away, did he make that helmet, too?" Lan asks, gesturing to the helmet in ProtoMan's hands.
"He didn't," ProtoMan replies. "I was actually created with this. Mother intended for me to be able to remove it - but Shuseki evidently didn't want a NetNavi who looks like the male version of his wife running around, so he re-coded my helmet and made it non-removable. That code was undone when SearchMan broke the seal."
"So why did Keiko Blaze make you with that guardian-function?" Raika asks. "I understand wanting to keep your child safe, but giving a NetNavi a function that makes them extremely overprotective of their operator seems . . . kind of like overkill, if you ask me."
"Chaud was right," ProtoMan says, glancing at Chaud. "The only thing stopping Shuseki from hurting him was our mother. And she knew there'd be nothing to stop Shuseki when she died. Unless she created a NetNavi who could do it in her place, that is."
So . . . Mother created ProtoMan to protect him from Father. But Father managed to get his hands on ProtoMan after Mother died, and he reprogrammed him and tried to bury the guardian-function that would stop him from hurting Chaud.
But the question is, how did he find out about ProtoMan? Mimic asks, sensing Chaud's thoughts.
Right, Chaud agrees. His thoughts are swimming with questions, but that one in particular is something he wants to ask, too.
"I don't know how he found out about me," ProtoMan answers the mental question, confusing the others who can't hear their mental voices until they realise what must have happened. "Mother said I was supposed to be a secret until she gave me to Chaud. But . . . but she died before she could. The last thing I remember is seeing her face as I went into sleep-mode, and that's where the sealed memories end. My memories from after the seal was put in place start with Shuseki telling me that I'm Chaud's battle partner and nothing more." He snorts. "That didn't really go as planned, of course. He gave a NetNavi to a lonely and grieving five-year-old human who just wanted a friend. I'm not sure what that idiot was expecting, really."
Chaud lets out a short bark of laughter, and then stops, horrified with himself for laughing at a time like this. But ProtoMan only gives him a quick smile, before it drops and he sighs.
"I'm not sure why Shuseki reprogrammed me," ProtoMan admits. "And honestly, I don't really care. The only thing that matters is that he did, and he stopped me from protecting Chaud like I was supposed to." He bares his teeth, and he narrows his eyes, pupils turning into angry slits. "All those years he forced me to watch him torture my operator, my brother. He'd better be fucking glad he's already in prison."
"Amen to that," Bass agrees, with a sharp nod. He's not the only one, either - Raika nods too, as does SearchMan, and Mimic bares her teeth in agreement. Lan and MegaMan's expressions harden just enough to tell Chaud that they're thinking the same thing.
Arcadia vanishes from Mimic's shoulder and reappears in front of ProtoMan, looking up at him. After a moment or two, he gives ProtoMan a small nod of agreement as well, and then smiles.
"You have really pretty eyes," Arcadia says.
ProtoMan blinks, and smiles back. "Well, I do have my mother's eyes," he replies lightly.
They head back outside to the grave of Chaud's mother - Chaud and ProtoMan's mother, that is. The photo is safely tucked inside the bag on Chaud's shoulders, and Mimic's already trying to work out the best place to put it in their bedroom. So far she's suggested their desk - though Chaud shoots that down because they've got a bunch of stuff on that desk already - the wall, the bookcase, or maybe turning it into digital data via Cross Fusion and keeping it inside Chaud's PET.
The bookcase idea sounds the most appealing, honestly. There's definitely room for it. They'll figure it out when they get back, anyway.
Snow crunches under their winter boots as the group makes their way across the field again. It started snowing while they were inside (while ProtoMan was revealing the truth to them), but the grave is still clearly visible and unburied.
Chaud crouches in front of it, and ProtoMan - now with his helmet back on, though with the new ability to remove it whenever he chooses to - flickers onto the top of the grave. Chaud's mother was his mother too, and even if he didn't know that until just a few minutes ago, this grave holds just as much significance to him as it does to Chaud.
"She really did love you, you know," ProtoMan says, looking at Chaud with a smile. Dark Shadow presses against his side, somehow conveying happiness despite having no expression. "While she was working on me, she'd tell me all about you. Things you'd done that day, little habits she thought were adorable . . . I could tell how much she loved you. And she said it, too, as often as she could, like she couldn't say it enough. I think maybe she meant for me to pass that love on to you."
"But thanks to Shuseki, you never got the chance," Raika says. He huffs and scowls. "Just add that to the growing list of crimes that monster has committed. Forcibly reprogramming the core programming of a NetNavi . . . He'd end up in prison just for that."
"That doesn't matter anymore," ProtoMan dismisses, shaking his head. "The seal's been broken. I'm Mother's last gift to Chaud, and I can finally do what I was supposed to be doing this whole time." He laughs, and the sound is so bright and full of life, so much the opposite of how scared and nervous he's been this whole time. "Though now we can actually enjoy a life without living in constant fear. That's all Mother wanted for Chaud, and even if it's long overdue, I'm happy it can finally happen."
"Happy," Chaud repeats in a murmur. He sits back on his haunches and looks at Mother's grave quietly for a few moments, thinking.
He's lived his entire life under his father's shadow, in constant fear and in a constant state of alertness. Even though his father's been arrested, he's still afraid, still on-guard, still watching and waiting for something to go wrong, because that's the only thing he's ever known.
But before his mother died, he was happy, wasn't he? With her, he could actually enjoy himself. He doesn't remember much of it, but ProtoMan remembers her, and he knows now that she really did love him. He came here, scared that he'd find out his mother was the same as his father, and instead . . . instead, it was the exact opposite.
She loved him so much that she created a way to keep him safe even after she was gone. It may not have gone the way she planned, and it took far longer than anyone could've thought, but it still worked out eventually.
He can't forget his mother. He never will. And his father may be a terrible person, but his new parents - his mom and dad - are better by far.
Chaud takes out his PET. He activates the holographic screen, bringing up the news recording he's watched over and over again since Father - since Shuseki - was arrested.
"Chaud?" ProtoMan steps forward, looking concerned.
The video starts to play automatically, but Chaud pauses it. He takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, and then presses a button on his PET. The holographic screen flickers like ProtoMan's hologram sometimes does, and when the image comes back, the only thing on the screen is digital snow and bold, white letters spelling out VIDEO DELETED.
Chaud looks at ProtoMan. After a few moments of stunned silence, a smile appears on ProtoMan's face.
And Chaud smiles back.
Continued in Mimic: Beast