Winter 1976
She and Kingsley had fallen back asleep following their early morning activities. Both still exhausted by the previous day's events but also by the new heights their relationship had risen to.
When she woke again, the sun was high in the sky, illuminating the room and bathing Kingsley in soft yellow light. She wished she could stay, and they could continue their explorations of each other, but Hermione knew she had to see Pandora.
Her clothes were on the chair she had left them and grimacing she cast a quick scourgify over her tights. Looking at the rest of her blood ruined clothes though Hermione couldn't bring herself to put them on and instead fashioned Kingsley's quidditch jersey into a dress, praying she wouldn't run into anyone while wearing it.
Borrowing a quill and parchment, she left Kingsley a note thanking him for taking care of her and explaining her absence before brushing a kiss across his temple as he slept on.
The halls were quiet and had a sombre air like everyone was still processing what had happened. Thankfully, she didn't meet anyone on the walk to Ravenclaw Tower, and by some small mercy, none of her housemates took note of her return, allowing her to slip up to her and Pandora's room unnoticed.
Closing the door behind her, Hermione turned to face Pandora, who was staring up at her from where she was reclined on her bed, "Have fun?"
The question was asked with a raised eyebrow, and Hermione flushed bright red in response. Part of her was relieved they weren't immediately jumping onto heavier topics, but another part of her was slightly embarrassed. Her friend clearly knew what she had just been up to.
Taking a deep breath, she refused to let her embarrassment get the better of her and instead grinned while replying "Yes."
Pandora smirked at her reply but also looked pleased for her friend, apparently deciding to forgo whatever usual ribbing followed a night away from the dorm.
"Good - but we need to talk."
The atmosphere of the room shifted rapidly.
"Yes - we do," Hermione agreed, taking a seat on the bed opposite her friend, "Are you okay?"
Pandora nodded, "Xeno and I were fine. We were already heading back up to the castle when it happened. What about you?"
"I don't know. I mean James almost died, and I never saw it coming."
"Oh, Hermione. You couldn't have. You may know more than most, but you can't stop everything bad from happening."
She knew Pandora was right, but she still felt like she should have been able to do something more. Besides, there were bigger issues at hand, "Things are going to get worse, aren't they?"
"Yes. This was only the beginning." Pandora's words were ominous, but Hermione knew they were the truth.
Her other memories didn't know much about what she had called the First Wizarding War, but she knew things were going to get so much worse before she could do anything to help it.
"Why did they attack Hogsmeade though?" Pandora questioned, and Hermione was relieved to have an answer.
"It was a show of force. They were showing not only are they unafraid to reveal themselves but that they're willing to attack children under Dumbledore's care for their cause."
She spat the last word and Pandora looked back at her grimly. The attack had been a terrible reminder of their mission. For all they may take time to enjoy their lives they weren't truly safe anywhere, not even at Hogwarts, and there was still so much at stake.
So many more lives were relying on them and their efforts to end Tom Riddle before he could cause even more destruction. Still, Hermione knew that it was a long way off, and there were years between then and now that would be filled with pain, suffering and darkness.
The full moon passed easily even with James unable to join her brother in the shack. It made Hermione more determined to complete the animagus transformation, though. Seeing just how easy it was for one of them to be unable to join her brother, and how realistic her fears he may be left alone really were.
With the moon past, Sirius' birthday was upon them. The Marauder's birthdays were usually extravagant affairs, and she typically got caught up in the chaos, especially of her and Remus' birthday; no matter how much they protested the other's dramatics.
But on this occasion, the boys seemed to have read the mood of the castle and Sirius' coming of age was passed with relatively little fanfare. Gifts were exchanged at breakfast, but apart from that, there were none of the usual extravagances.
Instead, as Hermione handed him the Rolling Stones vinyl, she felt confident he'd enjoy, he slipped her a now-familiar note. She didn't read it at first, just continued with breakfast and thought about the small piece of paper hidden in her pocket.
She knew she needed Sirius to help her with the transformation. And she also knew she was going ahead with it no matter what, but she couldn't help but think back to Kingsley finding them on Friday.
They hadn't been doing anything wrong, other than being out after curfew, but she also knew she couldn't risk something like it happening again. She genuinely liked Kingsley. His quiet, steady manner that reassured her when it had felt like everything was falling apart after the attack, and so many other things about him too.
She didn't know how he had caught them, though. She had known he was patrolling that evening, so she knew meeting Sirius had been risky but something made her go anyway. Confident in their ability not to get caught based on their previous successful meetings.
Regardless of any previous successful late-night meetups, she knew she couldn't risk more going forward. At least not where they could be discovered. Both Kingsley and the transformation were too important to her to give either up though, so she would have to find an alternative solution.
One was obvious to her. The Room of Requirement would provide the perfect place for her to work on her training and continue meeting Sirius in private, but she wasn't sure she wanted to share it.
Still, she needed somewhere the two could meet and be sure they wouldn't get caught, so she resolved to tell him anyway.
Breakfast finally finished, Hermione had a chance to glance at the note.
Ancient Runes Classroom, 11pm
Mind already made up she knew she couldn't accept and instead wrote a note of her own.
I know somewhere better.
7th floor, left corridor, 11pm
Finding Sirius between classes she discreetly gave him the note and could only hope she was making the right choice.
She got there before Sirius as planned but then had to anxiously wait for him to appear. When he finally rounded the corner, she let out a relieved sigh that he had come even with her change of location.
"Alright then Kitten, what's this place you've found?"
Thankfully, he didn't sound mad, only intrigued, and Hermione grinned mischievously at him before she started pacing.
I need somewhere comfortable and private.
I need somewhere comfortable and private.
I need somewhere comfortable and private.
Through her pacing, Sirius smirked at her, bemused, but the smug look drained off his face as the door appeared. Opening it, she motioned for him to enter.
"Kitten, what is this place?" He sounded amazed, and Hermione was thrilled she was getting to show him, earlier anxiety over sharing it dismissed.
Closing the door behind her, Hermione glanced around the replica of the kitchen at Lupin Cottage before replying, "The Room of Requirement."
"No shit," she wasn't surprised Sirius had heard of it, he was always more intelligent than he let on, "how'd you find it?"
"I don't know really." It was a lie. She knew exactly how she'd found it. Dobby had introduced her to it a lifetime ago, but she couldn't tell him that, "I was just walking one day and sure enough there was the door."
"And you haven't told anyone about it?" he questioned
"Uh no - I've kind of been using it as a hideaway, but I need somewhere to train so here we are. I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell the boys, though. I kind of like having somewhere to myself."
He nodded at her explanation before replying, "Another of our secrets then Mini."
Pleased he had agreed Hermione's thought turned back to their interrupted last meeting. Even though it had only been days ago, so much had happened that it felt like a lifetime. Before she got a chance to ask though, Sirius voiced a question of his own.
"Everything okay with you and Shacklebolt?"
She wasn't sure why he was asking. Something in his tone made her think it wasn't mere curiosity, but she didn't know what else to attribute it too so instead focused back on his question.
"I think so. Thanks for your quick thinking on Friday though."
He smirked wryly at her before responding, "No problem, Kitten. Was probably my fault anyway. I suggested meeting. Didn't know he'd be patrolling though, so I thought we'd be okay. A silencing charm's usually enough they don't look too closely. Think it was by chance more than anything."
Hermione agreed with his assessment before continuing, "Exactly, but we can't take that chance anymore. I don't need my brother questioning why I'm meeting you late at night so we'll meet here instead."
"Indeed," he drawled, "well then, everything else okay? Saturday must have been pretty rough on you."
She wasn't sure how to answer his question. It was the first time anyone other than Pandora had asked, and she found she wasn't sure what to say but eventually settled on a response.
"Okay, I think - I was really worried about James, but it seems like he'll be fine."
"Yes, Kitten. James will be perfectly fine - thanks to you."
She flushed slightly at his words but smiled at the reassurance James was well before asking why he had wanted to meet her.
"You really did seem shaken up Saturday, and I just had to check. Plus, we never got to finish our talk about your meditations."
She was touched he had worried about her. It felt so out of character for him, but then again she thought about what she knew of the real Sirius rather than the suave exterior he showed the world.
The Sirius that was fiercely loyal. That she knew would care for his godson like his own child, and she realised she'd been underestimating him. Of course, he'd have worried about her. She knew how fragile she felt after the attack and that it had shown on her face. The Sirius that would rather die than betray his friends would naturally be concerned over Moony's strange little twin.
"I'm okay - really. Thank you, though. And honestly, I think my meditations will just take time like you said. It doesn't help I've been so stressed over everything it's been hard to get into the right headspace."
"Oh, Kitten, you'll get there eventually. And remember, I'm here to help if you need it."
November passed quickly. Emotions in the castle running high. At first, everyone had been too shocked to react, and the castle had spent days stuck in a solemn silence as everyone processed what had happened. Soon after, though, anger rose to the surface.
Days after the attack, a group proclaiming themselves the Death Eater's had taken responsibility for it. While nobody officially knew who they were, it was an open secret. The Slytherin's proudly revelling in the destruction wrought on the village by the group so many of them one day aimed to join.
Between the Slytherins' quiet pride in the event and the Gryffindor's anger over it, November was a month punctuated by the many fights that broke out in the halls. James avoided them as best he could, keeping his promise to Lily, but it was hard to ignore them.
Instead of joining, or even initiating, fights as he perhaps would have even that summer, he focused on keeping out of them. Avoiding the Slytherins at all costs, lest the temptation to curse them become too much.
Alternatively, he focused on Quidditch and ran the team ragged trying to keep them out of trouble too. Or he studied with Lily, the two of them growing ever closer as they moved onto a first name basis.
He was meant to be meeting Lily, Sirius tagging along hoping to be a distraction when he saw them. As he rounded one of the stacks towards the table they usually studied at he spotted Lily almost backed into a corner by Snape.
At first, he had wanted to leap in and try to help her, but he stopped himself knowing Lily was perfectly capable of defending herself and wouldn't thank him for his intervention.
Instead, he pulled Sirius back from where he was brandishing his wand, and they both listened to the conversation.
"Lily please - you know I didn't mean what I said. It's been months. Surely we can move past it."
James immediately knew what Snape was referring to. The incident by the lake that he still felt guilty over. He wished he had never engaged with Snape that day, but he had also apologised to Lily and they'd both moved past it. He knew she hadn't done the same for Snape, but he had been unaware he was still seeking her forgiveness.
Focusing back on the conversation he just had time to hear Lily's snappish response, "Snape, the only reason that word could have slipped out is if you were already using it enough it was commonplace so why should I be any different. I won't deny I regret how I acted that day. I never should have said what I did to you but that doesn't mean I would change the outcome."
Snape looked struck by her words, but Lily continued, "It had been a long time coming, and we both know it. I begged you over and over again not to get involved with them, but you just couldn't resist the temptation, could you? Even now I see you laughing and joking about the attack last month and then coming here and begging for my forgiveness - god, it makes me sick!"
Through her speech, Snape's face went dark, and eventually, he interrupted her, "Lily, no…" before he could finish though fury flashed over her face.
"No, Snape! You don't get to call me that. Not anymore. You lost that right the same time any hope for our friendship died. You know, I defended you for years, and yet you still let me down. So stop it. Stop calling me that, stop showing up at my house, stop cornering me after class. Just leave me alone! Because we are DONE, and we have been for a very long time."
While Lily's voice had morphed from unbridled rage to exasperated anger Snape's face had taken on its own sneering fury,
"Oh, so what - you're just going to replace me with Potter," he spat his name, "who I notice you're getting so chummy with."
"Maybe I will," Lily snapped back, "At least James has never been anything but honest with me."
Snape's whole body shook with rage, "Of course, we've all seen you cozying up to him. I've watched them, you know. Seen how they're slowly dragging you into their little group."
"Oh yes - we're all well aware of your obsession with James and his friends," Lily's tone was ridiculing and only heightened Snape's anger.
He growled his response, "Don't try and make this into something it's not. We both know there's something wrong with them. I've been telling you Lupin's dangerous since he started befriending you and who knows, maybe his sister really is a bitch too."
Snape's words were a step too far for James. He was happy to let Lily fight her own battles, but the argument was veering into personal territory for Remus. Something in what Snape said had infuriated Sirius even more than him though, and before James could stop him he was interrupting,
"Careful there, Snivillius. Wouldn't want a repeat of the summer now would we?"
He tensed at Sirius' words. They weren't at all how James wanted to handle the situation. More concerned about Remus' secret that Snape was determined to discover. Still, Sirius' words immediately drew Snape's ire, and his face went puce with rage.
As the two continued spitting insults at each other, he glanced at Lily, who was looking exhausted by the encounter. Drawing her attention to him, he muttered softly, "Come on. Let's get out of here."
Looking up at him, relief in her emerald eyes, she nodded slightly. Following him out of the library, they left Sirius and Snape to duke it out.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, James," she sighed, "I'm fine. Just not exactly what I needed after everything over the last month."
"That's fair," he replied, taking a breath before speaking his piece, "Look, I know you don't need my help with anything but if he's still bothering you …"
"James."
"... No, seriously. I promised to lay off him, and I have. I'll even agree Sirius shouldn't have said what he just did, but Snape shouldn't be bothering you that much if you've told him to back off."
He recognised the irony in him being the one to say it. But even at their worst, she had never begged him to leave her alone in the same way she just had Snape.
Lily took a moment to consider his words before replying, "I appreciate the offer but let's just leave it for now yeah. I just want to put the whole thing behind me, but no-one seems to want to let me."
Suddenly James realised entirely how unwanted his attention on the matter was. How he was intruding on what was likely still a sore subject and one that he had only ever made worse. Still, he was reluctant to leave her alone with Snape and Sirius still arguing in the library.
"Well, how about I take your mind off it then - need a distraction?"
Lily actually smiled at his question and nodded her assent. He hadn't thought that far ahead, surprised she was agreeing to spend time with him outside their usual potions studying session but quickly decided to share a secret he hoped the other Marauders would forgive him for.
"You like hot chocolate, right?"
Again she nodded, looking bemused. Clearly wondering where he was planning on getting the drink from with the Great Hall still closed. Chuckling at her confused reaction, he offered her his arm and guided her in the direction of the kitchens. All worries over Snape and Sirius' argument forgotten.