DECEMBER 12 WEDNESDAY
The Mistletoez wrapped up after their evening band practice. They put their instruments back, patted each other on the back for some reason and then Fletcher and Marceau wanted to call it a night. When they had gone, Sirius whipped out a hideous green rubber mask and began to twirl it.
"I'm wearing this in the show, How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I'm the Grinch, by the way. Drew gave it to me. He thinks my ideas are great!"
"I think a village of The Who is definitely an improvement of the original," said James.
"Yeah that was a good idea for the show. But I'm a serious actor. I want to get under the skin of the character, do you follow?"
"Well yeah I suppose it's why Drew gave you that."
"Like, who is he? Where is he from? What makes him tick? What made him so miserable?"
James didn't much like where this was going. "Oh good..."
"I'm talking about his backstory!"
"Yup. It's what I feared."
"So I said to Drew, why not, instead of doing How The Grinch Stole Christmas, we do: Young Grinch!"
"Awesome..." James could have been playing Pong instead of listening to this drivel.
Sirius was completely enthused by his own ideas.
"Why does he hate Christmas so much? Maybe he would get beaten by his parents on Christmas day. Maybe it was on Christmas day the curse of the green skin was placed upon him. Maybe his pregnant fiancé died on Christmas day! Like, how mindblowing is that?"
Sirius mimed his mind being blown.
"It definitely makes me want to blow my mind out," James mumbled.
"But in the end he will meet this girl and they will fall in love and get married on Christmas day and then she goes into labour so it's all a bit nativity."
"What girl is this?"
"Just a village girl."
"But the village is just the band The Who."
"And their make-up artist, 'course!"
"Oh right. Silly me."
"So it's all a bit A Christmas Carol with the flashbacks. Very Charles Dickens."
"Yeah Charles Dickens was the king of cheese."
"I'm like an idea machine! Drew just wants them to stop coming!"
"So do I."
"But I can't! Fish gotta stink!"
"Who's the girl you want to snog so much you have to invent this romance subplot to make it happen?"
"I don't need to invent this romance subplot to make it happen but it's Gwendolyn Lockhart."
"At least you're not doing Young Scrooge."
James wished he hadn't muttered it. The minute he muttered it, Sirius's altoid fell out.
"THAT is BRILLIANT!"
Then he pulled the gross mask over his head.
"There's another thing. I don't much care for this mask. It makes the Grinch too unattractive."
"The Grinch is supposed to be unattractive."
"I just think he needs to be sexed up a bit."
"You want to sex up the Grinch?"
"Yeah! I mean get with the times, Prongs! Nobody wants a romantic lead that's green and wrinkly! I should just have my skin painted green but retain my natural features. Then people will see that I am different, an outcast, but since I am pretty they will still sympathise with me and that. Jesus this mask stinks worse than Fletcher! We must remember to give him a bath before the show."
Sirius sat down on a chair and sighed heavily, mask still on.
"God I hate Christmas."
Out of the blue, James thought. Sirius had never expressed a hatred for Christmas before. Was he coming down with a case of teen hormoons?
"How can you hate Christmas?" James asked. "You say it's so glam!"
"It's superficial and commercial!"
"Like glam rock!"
Suddenly Sirius became incredibly angry. He began to knock yule figurines down and tear down all the tinsel.
"Like do we really need tinsel and holly everywhere?! And all these bloody mistle traps! People can catch cooties that way!"
Sirius began to shoot down all the mistle-traps per wand. James didn't mind that. He didn't much fancy being trapped under one of those with any of his chums.
"How do you breathe under that mask?" he asked.
Sirius pulled it off.
"It's a bit clammy."
Then he saw the mess he had made.
"Wow! It's like I literally became the Grinch just now!"
"I think we think so, too."
"I knew I was good but not that good!"