"Suppression makes a weight that strips the life of everything.
Too scared to walk away; down in your heart, the image of a life…
you're dying just to be there, crying on your knees." Premonition of the Hex, Circa Survive
Xx
"Zuko, this is so stupid."
Mai has been increasingly obstinate during their search for the Avatar. Zuko is pouring through military correspondences from the last month to try to find any sign of the Avatar and his friends' whereabouts. One would think that they would be easy to track down because of that giant lumbering beast that they ride, but it seems that they must be getting smart about staying under the radar.
"Mai," he sighs, scrubbing his face with his hand in exasperation. "What is your problem?"
"You know as well as I do that if anyone had spotted them, we would know about it." She stands behind him with her arms crossed over her chest, her words dull and emotionless like always.
"Well I don't know what else to do!" Zuko straightens up to look Mai in the face. "I have to capture the Avatar—"
"To restore your honor." She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I know."
"Why did Azula even send you with me, anyway?" He slumps back down into his chair, tired and dejected.
"She seems to think that we're still thirteen and have feelings for each other." They both scoff at that. When they were younger, Zuko and Mai had one of those cute little kid relationships that consisted only of holding hands and bright blushes.
"It's been seven years. We're two totally different people now." Zuko gives up on the reports and walks out onto the deck, relishing in the fresh air after being inside for hours looking through meaningless reports.
A blue necklace wrapped around his wrist, a soft hand holding his, the smell of rain in the spring.
He shakes himself, banishing the strange thoughts (memories?) from his mind. He and Mai lean against a railing overlooking the ocean as he tries to clear his mind
"You don't have to tell me twice," Mai mutters her delayed response as he gazes out over the open ocean.
She looks at him strangely out of the corner of her eye, and he hopes that his weird flashback-memory-thought moment wasn't outwardly apparent. Mai seems more interested in Ty Lee these days than she does in Zuko, and that's perfectly fine with him. He couldn't be farther from the person he was when he left the Fire Nation seven years ago than he is now. I was still a child back then. As he's gotten older he's realized how messed up everything that happened to him was. His father was all too willing to disfigure his thirteen year old son, simply because he spoke up against sacrificing inexperienced troops to win a battle. He's a monster. Sometimes Zuko wonders why he even cares what his father thinks—
"Ahg!" He grabs his head, doubling over as a burst of intense pain blooms behind his eyes.
"All you alright?" Mai actually sounds concerned for him, and he would probably be surprised if he could focus on anything other than the white hot pain in his skull.
"I think I need to go lay down."
He leaves her on the deck and heads back to his quarters, slamming the door behind him as he almost blacks out from the pain. He groans, tears gathering in the corner of his good eye as the pain builds; he stumbles towards his bed, but the pain overtakes him before he can get there. The world tips before his eyes, and he is unconscious by the time he hits the floor.
Xx
He's back in the dark room. This time he feels incredibly small, and he's trapped inside a golden cage, the inside of which is illuminated by a sickly green glow. He grabs at the bars, eyes wide and breath short as he tries to yank at them. He growls, a wounded dog kicked into its kennel for misbehaving. He swallows his sobs as the darkness surrounding him somehow deepens, a ghostly voice floating into his ears.
"I must capture the Avatar…"
"Stop!" He screams through the taste of blood in his throat. He's been screaming for so long— why is nobody helping him? "Please, just leave me alone!"
He can't hold back his tears, fear jagged as it cuts through his skin; he realizes that he's bleeding from multiple places, and his ribs feel like they've collapsed inside of his chest. He groans in pain as his frantic breathing sends sharp, stabbing pain through him with every inhale. He huddles in the corner of the cage, curls in on himself to shield his body from whatever is coming for him. He can feel a presence on the edge of the darkness, just far enough that he can't see whatever it belongs to. Malice and hatred slam into him like waves, over and over and over. A needle-like pain flares in his head, and he lets out a hoarse scream as he buries his head in his knees, knuckles white where they grip his hair.
"Someone..." he chokes out, his voice small and ragged, his throat feeling like it's full of broken glass. "Please help me... please…"
He begs to no one, the darkness swallowing his words before they can even leave the gilded cage. His vision is fading even as he fights to stay lucid— if the dark takes him, he'll forget, and they'll—
"...to restore my honor…"
The eerie voice comes back, whispering in his ear like a lover, the words warm and soft. He lets out a strangled sob as his head rises of its own accord to see a dim light circling around him in a wide arc.
"I must capture the Avatar…"
Xx
"Zuko?" He feels his eyelids flutter. "Zuko!"
He groans and tries to pry his eyes open. His face is pressed up against a solid metal surface, and as his eyes open he sees Mai in front of him, wearing an expression that holds the most emotion he's ever seen from her. He must be on the ground, because she's tilted unnaturally in front of him.
"Mai?" His voice is scratchy, and his body is sore from the strange position he's laying in. "Why am I on the floor?"
"I could ask you the same question." Her face relaxes, but there is still concern in her eyes. "You've been in here for hours. When you didn't answer a knock at the door we came in and found you like this."
He slowly sits up, feeling slightly dizzy as he brings his hand up to brush his hair out of his face. "Oh." He has nothing else to say. He doesn't remember anything after walking off the deck after he spoke with Mai.
"How's your headache?"
He notices for the first time that there are several people around him; mostly soldiers or guards, but there are two medics among them.
"What headache?" He's starting to feel panicked; what happened to him? Why is everyone looking at him like that? "I just passed out, it's not a big deal." Mai motions for the others to leave, and she helps Zuko to his feet.
"Are you sure you're okay?" There's a surprising amount of emotion in her voice, and he doesn't understand why.
"I told you, I'm fine." He brushes her arm off of his. "Can we go look through those reports now? We have to catch up to the Avatar, I don't want him getting too far ahead of us."
Xx
The village of Jang Hui is… well, it's a sad sight. It had probably been a beautiful town at one point, but now the stench of illness and death moves swiftly through the air, carried by a light breeze as they travel along the stilted walkways. The town is located on a river, the houses and market held up out of the water by stilts. The concept is extremely intriguing to Katara; she's never thought about people living literally on the water. The hurt she feels for these people and their village is palpable. They approach an outdoor market, and the same man that had given them a ride to the village is standing behind the stall.
"Hey Dock!" Sokka walks up to the stall, smiling at the friendly, if strange, man who they had met earlier.
"Oh, I'm not Dock!" Confusion ripples through the group. "I'm Xu! Dock is my brother. He works on the dock, and I work here at the market!"
"But," Sokka motions back towards the dock, "we just saw you at the dock!"
"You're even wearing the same clothes," Aang interjects. "The only difference is your hat."
"Nope!" The man continues to smile, and Katara is starting to think there's something going on in his head that isn't… normal. "That was my brother. He works at the dock, which is why his name is "Dock." I work at the market, which is why my name is "Xu"!"
Aang scratches his head as he answers, "I don't get it."
"Me neither!" Dock— or Xu— exclaims. "What can I get for you? I'm having a special right now: buy three fish, get one clam free!" Katara looks down at the box of slimy clams that are displayed on the stall, and has to back up before the smell makes her vomit.
"We'll just take the fish." Even Sokka grimaces at the funky-smelling claims. Xu wraps the fish up for them as Sokka counts out their money. "Do you mind telling Dock that we need a ride back to shore?"
"Sure thing!" Xu ducks down behind the stall, and quickly returns wearing Dock's hat. "My brother tells me you need a ride back to shore!"
On their way back to the boat, a young boy comes up to Katara and gently pulls on her skirt.
"Excuse me..." She looks down into his big eyes, accentuated by his thin face and thinner body. "Can you spare some food?" Her heart breaks for the boy, and she hands him one of the fish they had bought from Xu, regretful that she doesn't have more to give.
When they get back to the shore, they wave goodbye to Dock and set about cooking the fish they got.
"Alright, no more pit stops!" Sokka is poring over their map, his brows scrunched up in concentration. "We have to leave first thing tomorrow morning, and we have to get up forty-three minutes earlier to make up for the time we lost today."
Aang and Toph groan, but Katara just looks out over the river back to the village. I have to do something for these people. She waits until everyone is asleep and sneaks into town, dropping off packages of food at every doorway, hurrying to get back to camp before the sun rises. When she gets back, she puts a large pile of purple berries in front of Appa before curling up in her bed roll.
The next morning, Appa's tongue is purple, and they are delayed another day, to Sokka's disquiet. They head back into the village to get more food and to see if they can find any medicine for Appa, Sokka sulking in the back of the boat muttering something that sounds like "schedule." They disembark at the dock, and immediately there's a difference in the mood. Children are running around, their parents watching and laughing with each other at various locations throughout the village.
"Hey Xu, what's up with everyone today?" Sokka asks when they get to the market.
"Oh, the Painted Lady came to our village last night and dropped off a bunch of food for everyone!"
"The Painted Lady?" Katara is curious about who the villagers think is responsible for helping them.
"Oh, yes!" Xu brings out a small statue of a woman with strange markings on her face. "The Painted Lady is the river spirit that is said to watch over our town. She's said to come to our aid in times of need, but we all just thought she was a legend until last night."
"See, we don't need to help these people," Sokka addresses Katara, commenting on her desire to do something for the people of the village that she had expressed yesterday. "Now," he turns back towards Xu. "We just need some medicine for Appa so we can get out of here."
"Oh, medicine?" Xu shakes his head. "We don't have any medicine, that's why everyone in the village is so sick. All the medicine goes up to the factory." He points his thumb over his shoulder to a distant factory spewing sludge into the river.
"Looks like we'll have to stay another night so that Appa can rest!" Katara tries to sound annoyed, but she doesn't think she's fooling anyone.
Sokka buys a nasty looking two headed fish for dinner ("What? You get double the value!"), and again, once everyone falls asleep Katara sneaks into town. This time, though, she dresses up and paints her face to resemble the Painted Lady. She's not totally sure why she does it, but it feels right. She moves through the houses healing everyone she can as fast as she can. When she gets back to their camp, she's so exhausted after she feeds Appa more purple berries and removes her costume and makeup that she doesn't even get into her bedroll, and falls asleep right on top of it.
Xx
The next day, the people in the village are in even better spirits, and Katara walks to the market with a barely contained smile resting on her face.
"It's crazy how much one lady— I mean, spirit— can help in just one night!" She's feeling really good about what she's done for the village, and it's made it easier to push her anxieties about Zuko closer to the back of her mind. She feels guilty about it, but she has to be able to live her life; they'll find Zuko, but for now, there's nothing she can do. Helping this village makes her feel useful, like she's not just wandering through the Fire Nation with her heart in pieces rattling around in her chest.
"Well, she better keep coming back every night." Sokka's words pull her out of her daze.
"What do you mean? Why do you say that?"
"Well, that Fire Nation factory is still there, and that's the real cause of all their problems. As long as that thing is there, nothing's really going to change."
She looks up at the statue of the painted lady, being repainted by loving villagers who've just recently found their zest for life again. A plan forms in her mind, and she decides that Appa is going to have to be sick for one more day.
That night, Aang catches her on her way out of the camp in her Painted Lady get up. She convinces him to help her get rid of the factory for good, and they have a surprisingly easy time blowing it up using a combination of air, earth, and waterbending. Their mission is a success, and Katara is feeling giddy as they return to camp, only for her mood to be ruined by the sight of Sokka and Toph sitting up in their bedrolls. When she breaks the news to her brother, he gets angry, and she hates to admit that it's rightfully so.
"The soldiers are already blaming the town for what you did! They're headed there right now! You should have left it alone, Katara!" He's shouting at her now, driving her anger to its boiling point.
"No!" She gets up in Sokka's face as she yells right back at him. "I will never turn my back on people who need me! I couldn't just sit here and do nothing while those villagers were dying!" She takes a few deep breaths to try to calm herself. "I'm going to that village to help them in any way I can. You can stay here for all I care."
"Wait," Sokka stops her with a hand on her shoulder. "I'm coming too." He sees her confused expression and continues. "You need me, and I'll never turn my back on you."
She throws her arms around his neck, and they come up with a plan to help the village. Soon they are on their way to the village, Katara in her Painted Lady costume, to scare the pants off of some Fire Nation soldiers. Their clever combination of airbending, waterbending, music, and Appa's growling make a convincing show, and the soldiers turn tail and run under the wrathful gaze of the Painted Lady.
"Leave this village, and never come back!" She feels powerful, like she's finally doing something worthwhile and making a difference in people's lives.
The villagers end up discovering that she isn't actually the Painted Lady, but in the end it doesn't matter. The gang helps the villagers clean up the river, and by the time the sun sets, it's looking clean as ever. They head back to their campsite for the night, and after dinner Katara wanders back over to sit by the river. I really made a difference for these people. She glows with pride, knowing that she's done the right thing, and is just about to get up to head back to camp when a strange fog descends quickly around her. She stands up, perplexed, when the ghostly form of the real Painted Lady appears before her.
"Thank you..." Her voice is distorted, but Katara knows the spirit is genuine. She fades away, and Katara is left standing at the river, a wide smile painted on her face.