My parents hadn't liked her. For the better part of the meal they'd ignored Lisa's presence. Every time they blatantly passed her over, I'd opened my mouth to object and Lisa's foot would nudge mine beneath the table. She'd given me a small shake of the head. I'd sat and steamed, my anger growing by the moment. Things had long since moved beyond awkward, though Rosé had done her best to cover the silences.
Lisa for her part had gone all out, wearing a gray button-down shirt with the sleeves secured to her wrists. It covered her tattoos. Black jeans and plain black boots completed her meet-the-parents wardrobe. Considering she'd refused to dress up for a ballroom full of Hollywood royalty, I was impressed. Frankly, she looked gosh-almighty awesome, even with the fading bruises beneath her eyes. And the gracious manner with which she dealt with my parents' abysmal behavior only reinforced my belief in her. My pride that she'd chosen to be with me. But back to the dinner conversation.
Rosé was giving a detailed synopsis of her plans for classes for the upcoming semester. My dad nodded and listened intently, asking all the appropriate questions. Chan falling for her was beyond my parents' wildest dreams. She'd been a de facto part of the family for a long time now. They couldn't have been more delighted. But more than that, she seemed to make them take a look at their son anew, noticing the changes in him. When Rosé talked about Chan's work and his responsibilities, they listened.
Meanwhile, Lisa was only on the other side of the table but I missed her. There was so much to talk about that I didn't know where to start. And hadn't we already talked over the bulk of it? So what was the problem? I had the strangest sensation that something was wrong, something was slipping away from me. Lisa had moved to Portland. All would be well. But it wasn't. Classes started back soon. The threat of the plan still hung over my head because I allowed it to.
"Jennie? Is something wrong?" Dad sat at one end of the table, his face drawn with concern.
"No, Dad," I said, my smile full of gritted teeth. There'd been no mention of my hanging up on him. I suspected it had been chalked up to broken-hearted girl rage or something similar.
Dad frowned, first at me and then at Lisa. "My daughter goes back to school next week."
"Ah, yes," said Lisa. "She did mention that, Mr Kim."
My father studied Lisa from over the top of his glasses. "Her studies are very important."
A cold kind of panic gripped me as the horror unrolled right before my eyes. "Dad. Stop."
"Yes, Mr Kim," said Lisa. "I have no intention of interrupting them."
"Good." Dad steepled his hands in front of him, settling in to give a lecture. "But the fact is, young women imagining themselves in love have a terrible tendency to not think. "
"Dad—"
My dad held up a hand to stop me. "Ever since she was a little girl, she's planned to become an architect."
"Okay. No."
"What if you go on tour, Lisa?" my father asked, continuing despite my commotion. "As you inevitably will. Do you expect her to drop everything and just follow you?"
"That would be up to your daughter, sir. But I don't plan on doing anything to make her have to choose between me and school. Whatever she wants to do, she's got my support."
"She wants to be an architect," Dad said, his tone absolute. "This relationship has already cost her dearly. She had an important internship cancelled when all of this nonsense happened. It's set her back considerably."
I pushed back, rising from my chair. "That's enough."
Dad gave me the same glare he'd first dealt Lisa, hostile and unwelcome. He looked at me like he no longer recognized me.
"I won't have you throwing away your future for her," he thundered.
"Her?" I asked, horrified at his tone. Anger had been pooling inside of me all night, filling me up. No wonder I'd barely touched my dinner. "The person you've both been unconscionably rude to for the past hour? Lisa is the last person who would expect me to throw away anything that mattered to me."
"If she cared for you she would walk away. Look at the damage she's done." A vein bulged on the side of my father's forehead as he stood too. Everyone else watched in stunned silence. It could be said I'd gone the bulk of my life backing down. But those had all been about things that didn't matter, not really. This was different.
"You're wrong."
"You're out of control," my father snarled, pointing his finger at me.
"No," I said to my father. Then I turned and said what I should have said a long time ago to my wife. "No, I'm not. What I am is the luckiest fucking girl in the entire world."
A smile lit Lisa's eyes. She sucked in her bottom lip, trying to keep the happy contained in the face of my parents' fury.
"I am," I said, tearing up and not even minding for once.
She pushed back her chair and rose to her feet, facing me across the table. The promise of unconditional love and support in her eyes was all the answer I needed. And in that one perfect moment, I knew everything was fine. We were fine. We always would be if we stuck together. There wasn't a single doubt inside of me. In silence, she walked around the table and stood at my side.
The look on my parents' faces … whoa. They always said it was best to rip the Band-aid off all at once, though, get it over and done with. So I did.
"I don't want to be an architect." The relief in finally saying it was staggering. I'm almost certain my knees knocked. There'd be no backing down, however. Lisa took my hand in hers, gave it a squeeze.
My father just blinked at me. "You don't mean that."
"I'm afraid I do. It was your dream, Dad. Not mine. I should never have gone along with this. That was my mistake and I'm sorry."
"What will you do?" asked my mother, her voice rising. "Make coffee?"
"Yes."
"That's ridiculous. All that money we spent—" Mom's eyes flashed in anger.
"I'll pay it back."
"This is insane," Dad said, his face going pale. "This is about her."
"No. This is about me, actually. Lisa just made me start questioning what I really wanted. She made me want to be a better person. Lying about this, trying to fit in with your plan for so long … I was wrong to do that."
My father glared at me. "I think you should leave now, Jennie. Think this over carefully. We'll talk about it later."
I guessed we would, but it wouldn't change anything. My good-girl status had well and truly taken a dive.
"You forgot to tell her that whatever she decides you still love her." Chan got to his feet, pulling out Rosé's chair for her.
"I haven't finished my... never mind."
He faced my father with his jaw set. "We'd better go too."
"She knows that." Face screwed up in confusion, Dad stood at the head of the table.
Chan grunted. "No, she doesn't. Why do you think she fell into line for so many years?"
Mum knotted her hands.
"That's ridiculous," sputtered Dad.
"No, he's right," I said. "But I guess everyone has to grow up sometime."
Dad's eyes turned even colder. "Being an adult is not about turning your back on your responsibilities."
"Following in your footsteps is not my responsibility," I said, refusing to back down. The days of my doing that were gone. "I can't be you. I'm sorry I wasted so many years and so much of your money figuring that out."
"We only want what's best for you," said Mom, voice thick with emotion.
"I know you do. But that's for me to decide now." I turned back to my wife, keeping a firm hold on her hand. "And my wife isn't going anywhere. You need to accept that."
Chan walked around the table, gave Mom a kiss. "Thanks for dinner."
"One day," she said, looking between the both of us, "when you have your own children, then you'll understand how hard it is."
Her words pretty much wrapped things up. My dad just kept shaking his head and huffing out breaths. I felt guilty for disappointing them. But not bad enough to return to my former ways. I'd finally reached an age where I understood that my parents were people too. They weren't perfect or omnipotent. They were every bit as fallible as me. It was my job to judge what was right.
I picked up my handbag. It was time to go.
Lisa nodded to both my parents and escorted me out. A sleek new silver Lexus Hybrid sat waiting by the curb. It wasn't a big SUV like the ones Sam and the other bodyguards used. This one came in a more user-friendly size. Behind us, Chan and Rosé climbed into his car. Nothing much was said. Mom and Dad stood in the house's open doorway, dark silhouettes care of the light behind them. Lisa opened the door for me and I climbed into the passenger seat.
"I'm sorry about my father. Are you upset?" I asked.
"No." She shut my door and walked around to the driver's side.
"No? That's it?"
She shrugged. "He's your dad. Of course he's going to be concerned."
"I thought you might have been running for the hills by now with all the drama."
She flicked on the indicator and pulled out onto the road. "Did you really?"
"No. Sorry, that was a stupid thing to say." I watched my old neighborhood passing by, the park I'd played in and the path I'd taken to school. "So I'm a college dropout."
She gave me curious glance. "How does that feel?"
"God, I don't know." I shook my hands, rubbed them together. "Tingly. My toes and hands feel tingly. I don't know what I'm doing."
"Do you know what you want to do?"
"No. Not really."
"But you know what you don't want to do?"
"Yes," I answered definitely.
"Then there's your starting point."
A full moon hung heavy in the sky. The stars twinkled on. And I'd just upended my entire existence. Again. "You're now officially married to a college dropout who makes coffee for a living. Does that bother you?"
With a sigh, Lisa flicked on the indicator and pulled over in front of a neat row of suburban houses. She picked up one of my hands, pressing it gently between both of hers. "If I wanted to quit the band would that bother you?"
"Of course not. That's your decision."
"If I wanted to give all the money away, what would you say?"
I shrugged. "You made the money, it's your choice. I guess you'd have to come live with me then. And I'm telling you now, the apartment we'd have on my salary alone would be small. Miniscule. Just so you know."
"But you'd still take me in?"
"Without question." I covered one her hands with my own, needing to borrow a bit of her strength just then. "Thank you for being there tonight."
Little creases lined her perfect dark blue eyes. "I didn't even say anything."
"You didn't have to."
"You called me your wife."
I nodded, my heart stuck in my throat.
"I didn't kiss you at the studio today because it felt like there was still too much up in the air between us. It didn't feel right. But I want to kiss you now."
"Please," I said.
She leaned into me and I met her halfway. Her mouth covered mine, lips warm and firm and familiar. The only ones I wanted or needed. Her hands cupped my face, holding me to her. The kiss was so sweet and perfect. It was a promise, one that wouldn't be broken this time. We'd both learned from our mistakes and we'd keep learning all our lives. That was marriage.
Her fingers eased into hair and I stroked my tongue against hers. The taste of her was as necessary to me as air. The feel of her hands on me was the promise of everything to come. What started out as an affirmation turned into more at light speed. The groan that came out of her. Holy hell. I wanted to hear that noise for the rest of my life. My hands dragged at her shirt, trying to pull her closer. We had some serious time to make up for.
"We have to stop," she whispered.
"We do?" I asked, in between panting breaths.
"Sadly." She chuckled, nudged the tip of my nose with hers. "Soon, my luckiest fucking girl in the world. Soon. Did you really have to throw the fucking in there?"
"I really did."
"Your parents looked about ready to have kittens."
"I'm so sorry about the way they treated you." I ran my fingers over her short dark hair.
"I can deal."
"You shouldn't have to. You won't have to. I'm not sitting by and—"
She shut down my rant by kissing me. Of course it worked. Her tongue played over my teeth, teasing me. I undid my seatbelt and crawled into her lap, needing to get closer. Nobody kissed like Lisa. Her hands slipped beneath my top, molding to the curves of my breasts. Thumbs stroked my nipples. The poor things were so damn hard it hurt. Talking of which, I could feel Lisa's erection, pressing into my hip. We kept our lips locked until a car full of kids went by, horn blaring. Apparently our makeout session was somewhat visible from the street despite the fogged-up windows. Classy.
"Soon," she promised, her breathing harsh against my neck. "Fuck, it's good to get you alone. That was intense. But I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. You did good."
"Thank you. You think we'll understand when we have kids, like my mom said?"
She looked up at me, her beautiful face and serious eyes so wonderfully familiar I could cry.
"We've never talked about kids," she said. "Do you want them?"
"One day. Do you?"
"One day, yeah. After we've had a few years' worth of alone time."
"Sounds good," I said. "You going to show me this condo of yours?"
"Of ours. Absolutely."
"I think you're going to need to take your hands out of my top if you're planning on driving us there."
"Mm. Pity." She gave my breasts a final squeeze before slipping her hands free of my clothing. "And you're going to have to hop back into your seat."
"Okey dokey."
Her hands wrapped around my hips, helping me climb back over to my side of the vehicle. I refastened my seat belt while she took a deep breath. With a wince she adjusted herself, obviously trying to get more comfortable. "You're a terror."
"Me? What did I do?"
"You know what you did," she grouched, pulling back out onto the road.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't you give me that," she said, giving me a narrow-eyed look. "You did it in Vegas and then you did it in Monterey and LA too. Now you're doing it in Portland. I can't take you anywhere."
"Are you talking about the state of your fly? Because I'm not the one in control of your reactions to me, buddy. You are."
She barked out a laugh. "I've never been in control of my reactions to you. Not once."
"Is that why you married me? Because you were helpless against me?"
"You make me tremble in fear, rest assured." The smile she gave me made me tremble and fear had nothing to do with it. "But I married you, Jennie, because you made sense to me. We make sense. We're a whole lot better together than apart. You notice that?"
"Yeah, I really did."
"Good." Her fingers stroked over my cheekbone. "We need to get home. Now."
I'm pretty sure she broke several speed limits on the drive. The condo was only a couple of blocks back from Irene's café. It was located in a big old brown-brick building with Art Deco stonework surrounding the double glass front doors. Lisa punched in a code and led me into a white marble lobby. A statue of what looked like driftwood stood tall in the corner. Security cameras hid in the ceiling corners. She didn't give me time to look, rushing me through. I practically had to run to keep up with her.
"Come on," she said, tugging on my hand, drawing me into the lift.
"This is all very impressive."
She pushed the button for the top floor. "Wait 'til you see our place. You're moving in with me now, right?"
"Right."
"Ah, we've got some visitors at the moment, by the way. Just while we record the album and that. A few more weeks, probably." The lift doors slid open and we stepped into the hall. At which point Lisa took my handbag from me. Then she bent and set her shoulder to my stomach, lifting me high. "Here we are."
"Hey," I squeaked.
"I got you. Time to get carried over the threshold again."
"Lisa, I'm wearing a skirt." It nearly went to my knees, but still. I'd rather not flash her guests and band members if I could avoid it.
"I know you are. Have I thanked you for that yet? I really appreciate having that easy access." Her black boots thumped along the marble flooring. I took the opportunity to grope her ass because I was allowed to. My life was fucking fantastic like that.
"You're not wearing any underwear," I informed her.
"That so?"
A hand felt up my rear. Over my clothing, thankfully.
"You are," she said, voice low and growly in the best way possible. "Which ones you wearing, baby? Boyshorts by the feel."
"I don't think you've seen these."
"Yeah, well we're gonna change that real soon. Trust me."
"I do."
I heard the sound of a door opening, and the marble beneath me turned to a glossy, black-painted wooden floor. The walls were a pristine white. And I could hear male voices, laughing and trash-talking nearby. Music played in the background, Nine Inch Nails, I think. Chan had been playing his music at the apartment and they were a favorite of his. Of course the condo looked amazing. There were dark wooden dining room chairs and green couches. Plenty of space. Guitar cases were strewn about the place. From what I could see, it looked beautiful and lived in. It looked like a home.
Our home.
"You kidnapped a girl. That's awesome but illegal, Lis. You're probably going to have to give her back." My hair was lifted and Jackson appeared, crouched beside me. "Hey there, child bride. Where's my hello kiss?"
"Leave my wife alone, you dickwad." Lisa lifted one booted foot and negligently pushed him aside. "Go get your own."
"Why the fuck would I want to get married? That's for crazy folk like you two fine people. And while I applaud your insanity, no goddamn way am I following in your footsteps."
"Who the fuck would have him?" Jimmy's smoother voice moved up alongside me. "Hey, Jen."
"Hi, Jimmy." I took a hand off the seat of my wife's jeans and waved at him. "Lisa, do I have to stay upside down?"
"Ah, right. It's date night," my wife announced.
"Got it," Jack said. "Come on Jimmy. We'll go find Benny-boy. He was going to that Japanese place for a bite."
"Right." Jimmy's sneakers headed for the door. "Later, guys."
"Bye!" I gave him another wave.
"Night, Jenney." Jack left too and the door slammed shut behind them.
"Alone at last." Lisa sighed and started moving again, down a long hallway. With me still over her shoulder. "You like the place?"
"What I can see of it is lovely."
"That's good. I'll show you the rest later. First things first, I really need to get into those panties of yours."
"I don't think they'd fit you," I giggled. She slapped me on the ass. White hot lightning, though it was more of a shock than anything. "Christ, Lisa."
"Just warming you up, funny girl." She turned into the last room at the end of the hallway, kicked the door shut. My handbag was thrown into a chair. Without a word of warning, she upended me onto a king-size bed. My body bounced on the mattress. The blood was rushing around in my head, making it spin. I pushed my hair out of my face and rose up onto my elbows.
"Don't move," She said, voice guttural.
She stood at the end of the bed, undressing. The most amazing sight in existence. I could watch her do this always. She reached back and pulled off her shirt and I knew bone deep I wasn't the luckiest fucking girl in the world. I was the luckiest fucking girl in the entire universe. That was the truth. Not just because she was beyond beautiful and I was the only one that got to see her do this, but the way she watched me through hooded eyes the entire time. Lust was there, but also a whole lot of love.
"You have no idea how often I've imagined you lying on that bed in the last week." She pulled off her boots and socks, tossing them aside. "How many times I nearly called you in the last month."
"Why didn't you?"
"Why didn't you?" she asked, undoing the top button on her jeans.
"Let's not do that again."
"No. Never." She crawled onto the bed, smoothing her hands down my calf muscles. My shoes went flying and her fingers slipped beneath my skirt, easing it up, higher and higher. Without breaking eye contact, she dragged down my boyshorts. She obviously wasn't interested in checking out my panties after all. The woman had priorities. "Tell me you love me."
"I love you."
"Again."
"I love you."
"I missed the taste of you so fucking much." Big hands parted my legs, exposing me to her gaze. "I might just spend a few days with my head between your legs, alright?"
Oh god. She rubbed her chin against my inner thigh, making my skin prickle with awareness. I couldn't speak if I tried.
"Say it again."
I swallowed hard, trying to get myself back under control.
"I'm waiting."
"I l-love you," I stuttered, my voice sounded barely there, breathy. My pelvis almost shot off the bed at the first touch of her mouth. Every bit of me was wound tight and trembling.
"Keep going." Her tongue parted the lips of my sex, sliding between before delving within. The sweet, firm feel of her mouth and the ticklish sensation of her beard.
"I love you."
Strong hands slid beneath my ass, holding me to her mouth. "More."
I groaned out something. It must have been enough. She didn't stop or speak again. Lisa attacked me. There was nothing easy about it. Her mouth worked me hard, driving me sky high in a matter of moments. The knot inside me tightened and grew as her tongue laved me. Electricity streaked up my spine. I don't know when I started shaking. But the strength went out of me and my back hit the mattress once again. I fisted my hands in her hair, fingers gripping at the short, gelled strands.
It was almost too much. I didn't know if I needed to get closer or get away. Either way, her hands held me to her. Every muscle in me tensed and my mouth opened on a soundless cry. Fireworks filled my mind. I came and came.
When my heart eased up on the hammering, I opened my eyes. Lisa knelt between my legs. Her jeans had been pushed down and her erection grazed her flat stomach. Dark blue eyes stared down at me.
"I can't wait."
"No. Don't." I tightened my legs around her hips. One of her hands remained beneath my ass, holding me high. With the other, she guided herself into me. She didn't rush. We were both still at least half dressed, her on the bottom and me on the top. There was no time to waste. We were too needy to wait and do this skin to skin. Next time.
She entered me so slowly I couldn't breathe. The only that mattered was feeling. And God, the feel of her thick and hard pushing inside of me. The perspiration on her bare chest gleamed in the low lighting. Her shoulders stood out in stark relief as she began to move.
"Mine," she said.
I could only nod.
She looked down on me, watching my breasts jiggle beneath my top with each thrust. Fingers gripped my hips hard. Mine clutched at the bedding, trying to find purchase so I could push back against her. Her expression was wild, mouth swollen and wet. Only this was real, me and her together. Everything else could come and go. I'd found what was worth fighting for.
"I love you."
"C'mere." She picked me up off the mattress, holding me tight again her. My legs were braced around her waist, muscles burning from how hard I'd been holding on. I wound my arms around her neck as she sat me on her cock.
"I love you too." Her hands slid beneath the back of my top. We moved harshly together. Our furious breaths mingled into one. Sweat slicked both our skins, the fabric of my shirt sticking to me. The heat gathered low inside me again. It didn't take long in this position. Not with the way she ground herself against me. Her mouth sucked at the section of skin where my neck met my body and I shuddered in her arms, coming again. The noises she made and the way she said my name … I never wanted to forget. Not a moment of it.
Eventually, she laid us both back on the bed. I wasn't willing to let her go so she covered my body with hers. The weight of her pressing me down into the bed, the feel of her mouth on the side of my face. We should never move. In the best-case scenario, we'd just stay like this forever.
But actually, I did have something I had to do.
"I need my bag," I said, squirming beneath her.
"What for?" She rose up on her elbows.
"I have to do something."
"What could be more important than this?"
"Roll over," I said, already urging her in that direction.
"Alright. But this had better be good." She relaxed and let me roll her. I scampered across the mattress, trying to tug my skirt back down at the same time. It must have looked a treat because Lisa came after me with snapping teeth.
"Get back here, wife," she ordered.
"Give me a second."
"My name looks good on your ass," she said. "The tattoo has healed very nicely."
"Well, thank you." I finally got off the mattress and set my pencil skirt to rights. In the month we'd been apart, I'd ignored my ink. But now, I was glad it was there.
"That skirt's coming off."
"Just wait."
"And that top. We have a lot more making up to do."
"Yes, in a minute. I've missed my topless cuddles."
She'd dumped my bag on a blue velvet wing-backed chair by the door. Whoever had decorated the condo had done a hell of a job. It was beautiful. But I'd check it out later. Right now I had something important to do.
"I bought you a present today, after we talked at the studio."
"Did you now?"
I nodded, searching my bag for the treasure. Bingo. The fancy little box was right where I'd left it. With it hidden in my hand I walked back to her, a wide smile on my face. "Yes, I did."
"What have you got in your hand?" She climbed off the bed. Unlike me, she stripped off her jeans. My wife stood before me naked and perfectly disheveled. She looked at me like I was everything. As long as I lived, I knew I wouldn't want anyone else.
"Jennie?"
For some reason I felt suddenly shy, awkward. Any money, the tips of my ears glowed bright pink.
"Give me your left hand." I reached for her hand and she gave it to me. Carefully I slid on the thick platinum band I'd blown my savings on that afternoon, working it past her knuckle. Perfect. I'd walk all winter and freeze my ass off, happily. Lisa meant more to me than replacing my crappy old car. Given the money I now owed my parents, the timing wasn't brilliant. But this was more important.
"Thank you."
My gaze darted to her face, trying to judge her sincerity. "You like it?"
"I fucking love it."
"Really? Because I forgot about your ink, but—"
She shut me up by kissing me. I kind of liked her new habit of doing that. Her tongue stroked into my mouth and my eyes slid shut, every worry forgotten. She kissed me until not a single doubt remained as to how taken with her ring she was. Fingers fussed with the buttons on my top, slipping it off my shoulders. Next the band on my bra loosened.
"I love my ring," she said, her lips traveling over my jaw and down my neck. My bra straps slid down my arms and my breasts were free. Next she started in on my skirt, wrestling with the zip and pushing it down over my hips. She didn't stop until I was every bit as bare as her. "I'm never taking it off."
"I'm glad you like it."
"I do. And I need to get you naked right now and show you how much I like it. But then I'll give you back your ring. I promise."
"No rush," I murmured, arching my neck to give her better access. "We've got forever."