Thank you all for the kind words. Ready for spicing things up?
Holy shit!
Bella couldn't wrap her head around her conversation with Edward.
She couldn't remember the car ride home, or getting inside her studio.
She grabbed Harley's leash and took him for a walk to clear her head. The more she thought of Edward, the more absurd she found the situation.
There was clearly something wrong with her to fall for the worst sort of men. First, it was Harold the biker, with a family on the other side of the country. Then, there were her flings with various bad boys to cross the threshold of Eclipse, and now Edward.
She was curious about his examples and his words on what that life meant, because clearly, what she'd read or seen wasn't the truth.
Being used to not sleeping during the night, Bella spent most of her night on the internet researching words like 'BDSM', 'submissive', 'dominant', and 'punishment', and with each word she read, it made her squirm.
Sure, it looked intense, but she wasn't going to kneel in front of him and call him "Master" or whatever he wanted. Giving up control, allowing him to be in charge of her pleasure and body, was the scariest thought she'd ever entertained.
It was three o'clock in the morning, and she was ready to try and get some sleep, when she noticed a new email. At first, she considered it might be one of her subscriptions or some other random email, but something told her it was from him.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Date: 13 Jun 2020, 2:57 AM
Hello Bella,
I hope our talk hasn't scared you.
I understand how unnerving this can be to someone with no knowledge of this lifestyle. Allow me to explain why this shouldn't worry you.
You must be curious as to why I do this. There's only one other person who knows the whole story, and another one who knows part of it.
I didn't imagine talking about this with you any time soon, or at all. But I want you to understand what this means, and for you to let go of your fear of the unknown.
My first year in college took a turn for the worst, when the house I lived in kept throwing party after party, effectively keeping me away from my studies. I partied along with the frat boys, skipped classes, and I started drinking. At first, it was nothing to worry about, but as time passed, I realized that everything made more sense when I was drunk. My life had been perfect – the youngest child of the best doctor in the county and the sophisticated interior designer, whose older sister was about to graduate from Harvard. Maybe too perfect.
I wanted to escape my boring life, so I kept drinking. It brought me comfort.
One night, the frat boys invited me on a night out with them. Dartmouth didn't offer that much entertainment, but we found this club. It was the kind of place we shouldn't have been allowed to get into, but our fake IDs were that good.
I remember seeing the dimly lit room and how there were several stages, where men performed various acts on girls. My boys left, saying it was the wrong place. I didn't leave.
I watched carefully what each man did to the girl in front of him, and I wanted that. At first, I thought they were hurting them, but the girls' moans were of pleasure.
I kept returning, until I got up the courage to approach a girl. The customers were allowed to get whoever they wanted. I chose wrong. I had no idea the roles could be reversed. She took me away from the front room, and for hours, I saw there was another side to what I'd watched so far.
I went deeper into drinking, but I went back to that woman. You can call me a masochist.
I don't know what happened. She pushed me too far, everything had been too much, I had been too drunk…the thing is I woke up in the hospital.
My sister thinks someone abused me, and I didn't have the right words to correct her, because to some extent, that was what happened. I was nineteen.
My best friend is a Dominant, like me. He's also one hell of a psychologist. I was his first patient while he was still studying in college.
After I had been released from the hospital, my parents found me an apartment, and I got a roommate. Jasper was everything I needed in my life without knowing it. He explained to me what I'd witnessed in that club, what had happened to me, and he taught me everything he knew.
So, this is my story about how I got initiated into this life.
I will never inflict harm on anyone I care about. You don't have to fear me.
There will be punishments, yes. But only what you can handle. I'd bet you were spanked as a child. It's similar to that.
I planned on telling you about my fantasies that include you, but somehow, I ended up making Jasper proud in talking about this part of me.
If I don't hear from you, I'll understand that this isn't for you.
Yours,
Edward
How could she sleep now after reading that?
Bella had never received such a long email in her life. Or such a disturbing one.
He had poured his whole heart out in it, proving to her that he truly wanted her.
She chose not to answer anything right away.
She read the email several more times until her eyes drooped. A nightmare woke her up some hours later. The star of her bad dream was Edward, being chained to a wall and hit with a riding crop.
Her day dragged, and before she had to go to work, Bella had the courage to answer his email.
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Date: 13 Jun 2020, 1:45 PM
Hi,
Thank you for trusting me with such a secret.
I don't even think I could/should say anything regarding your confession. Maybe next time I see you?
In turn, I'll tell you my darkest nightmare.
James left shortly after our parents' death. He chose his girlfriend over me. She had always managed to make him do as she said. No one ever believed me that she was evil.
Victoria's dream was to become a Hollywood actress, and James was her free ticket there.
He bought this place for me and left me his car and the bar. Mom used to own the bar, and she had passed it on to James.
I sometimes wonder what would have happened if he'd stayed here with me.
I dropped out of high school at seventeen, because I couldn't do it. I tried, all thanks to Jake's dad, but I simply couldn't. It was too much. Everyone watched me as if I were some ticking bomb, and it drove me crazy.
I helped Garrett at the bar and spent all my time at Jake's. I hated this studio.
When I was eighteen, I met Harold, that guy I told you about. I got my first tattoo. That's when I got a taste of freedom, but it was short-lived what with my near-death accident.
Once I was alright again, I rebelled on life and the injustice that was thrown at me. I got another tattoo, I tasted alcohol for the first time, I searched for the most troubled men who crossed the threshold at Eclipse and slept with them.
I was on this self-destructive path, and if Jake hadn't intervened, I have no idea where I'd be. He started taking me for walks on the beach, where we'd talk about anything, he'd spend the night at my place, complaining about my shitty bed and too much drums in my music. But he became my rock. He still is.
My life is a mess, and I have no idea how to get control over it.
If you haven't noticed, I like to have control over the situation…my body…you get the point.
But I'm curious.
Give me an example of what you want to do with me.
Bella
She hit send, then left to work, like the coward she was.
Her night dragged, and she half-expected Edward to appear at some point. He never did.
During one of her breaks, close to eleven o'clock that night, she escaped through the back door. She had brought along with her a bad habit she hadn't indulged for several weeks.
After lighting the cigarette, Bella checked her email on the phone app.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Date: 13 Jun 2020, 3:09 PM
Bella,
Words cannot explain how badly I want to hurt your brother for abandoning you.
I want you to read this in private.
Picture this.
You're lying naked on a big bed. The room is dark, and your senses are heightened. You hear footsteps, but you can't see who came into the room. Your arms are tied to the headboard. Your body is at my mercy.
I slide my fingers over your side then ghost my open palm over your pebbled nipples. I follow my actions with my lips. You quiver under my touch. I suck on your nipples until you thrash under me, begging for mercy.
I go lower, licking a trail from the valley of your breasts, tasting you all the way down. I grab your thighs and push them apart. You moan, still begging. I lean in and breathe over where you ache, not quite touching you. You moan in despair.
I love seeing you losing control, allowing me to bring you such pleasure.
I ghost my lips over the inside of your thighs, going lower, ignoring the place you want me to touch the most. I kiss your ankles, and you beg me to stop teasing.
I return to your lips, which I had purposely neglected. After ravishing them thoroughly, I cup your heated sex. You shudder in my arms, but you don't come apart. I haven't allowed you to come. I inch a finger inside your wetness. Your back arches off the bed, your hips snap up, searching for friction. I add another finger, holding you still.
When you writhe in pleasure under me, the metal handcuffs clinking loudly against the headboard, I know my job is done.
I lift your hips onto my thighs and push inside you. You cry out, begging me to allow you to come. I allow it, only because your wet and tight sex will be the end of me.
Are you sopping wet now, Bella?
Yours,
Edward
Bella squeezed her thighs together, whimpering against the brick wall. Her legs felt like jelly, and she was sure she'd faint from the sheer pleasure.
No romance novel or erotic book she'd ever read had made her so wet, but then again, she hadn't been the star character with Edward as her partner.
Bella looked around the dark alley, inching farther away from the road, hiding behind some cardboard boxes near the dumpster. She threw away her burned-out cigarette, leaning against the wall, as she bundled her skirt up around her waist. She shoved her panties to the side, and then she pushed two fingers inside her.
She re-read Edward's email. She came halfway through it, shuddering and moaning so loud she was sure someone would hear her.
What the hell was he doing to her?
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Date: 13 Jun 2020, 11:35 PM
Please.
That ought to do it, she thought to herself.
Still with me? You're allowed a cold shower before sharing your thoughts. :)