MAJOR WARNING! PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING! This chapter ends in a cliff-hanger…sorry about that. IF you cannot handle a cliff-hanger just wait 24 hours. I already have the next chapter done, this site just won't let me post two on the same day without it being flagged as spam. Annoying I know. If you do not mind a cliff-hanger and you think you can handle it…please…read on and I will see you tomorrow.
Chapter Twenty
"Tauriel, I think you should speak to Elrond about the things you are seeing." The group had now been in Rivendell for over a sennight and this was not the first time Kili had brought up the suggestion. Truth be told, he was frightened for her. Though at first they were not as bad, he never wants to see what she went through during the last one again.
"Kili, we've discussed this. I cannot speak to him without revealing what I did, what happened in Valinor. Lord Elrond already see's right through our story on how we found each other, he will not hold back if I seek him out for information on whatever this is." She was lounging with her head in his lap under a tree in the city. The company was getting restless, but Gandalf had insisted they wait. Thorin had begun pacing like a caged beast. Neither Tauriel nor Kili thought it would be long before he vetoed the wizard's advice and moved them out and both were more than ready to follow.
Kili sighed, fingering one of her braids. "I do not think that is necessarily a bad thing, Amralime. He seems to be trustworthy enough and I think he can help. Did you not tell me he was said to have visions of the future himself? If anyone can help, perhaps it is him."
Tauriel was chewing on her lip. If she was honest with herself, she was tempted but it was not just her secret. It involved Thorin and Fili as well. Without a word, Tauriel stood, causing Kili to let out a breath of disappointment. He did not mean this second but if she was finally agreeing, he was not going to argue. She waited for him to stand, then followed the path that led to where they were staying. Not the path to where the lord of Rivendell typically resides. Soundlessly, she walked into the company, Kili at her side. Thorin was speaking to Balin off to the side, and that is exactly where she was headed.
"Thorin, can I borrow you for a few moments. I wish to speak to you and Fili." Seeing her concern, he immediately agreed and stepped away from Balin to follow her. She did not even need to request Fili to follow her as he seemed to instantly know and joined their group as they made their way to her and Kili's little private room they kept.
The males watched the elf pacing back and forth in front of them. Kili seemed to know what was going on, but both Thorin and Fili looked on apprehensively. "What is it?" Thorin's voice broke the elf from her thoughts as she turned to her small family.
"Kili thinks I should discuss…what I am seeing, with Lord Elrond." Both Fili and Thorin looked to the dark-haired prince.
"It is true, Tauriel herself mentioned he has been rumored to have visions. Maybe it's an elvish thing he can help her with." He watched his wife pacing. Her nerves having him on edge, but he just let her be hoping his family would help ease her worries. His heart dropped when Thorin's deep voice filled the small room.
"I do not know if this is wise. Our secrets are our own and too many who know of them, means too many masters at the forge. All hammering away at the same steal, eventually destroying it." Fili listened to his uncle intently.
"I am tired of watching my wife suffer if there is something which can be done." Kili was beginning to snap. He never did well when Tauriel was involved in something causing her harm or pain. Seeing this, Tauriel stopped her pacing and strode over to her Kili, taking his hands in her own.
"Meleth Nin, I am unharmed. Please to not fret." She looked into his deep, dark, brown eyes filled with concern and so much love. She looked away after a moment and addressed her brother and uncle.
"It is not just my secret to keep, which is why I called you all together. I wished to counsel with my family. I truly do not know what to do."
Fili sat down on the chair closest to him and Thorin leaned against one of the two large columns in the room. Kili and Tauriel opting to sit side by side on the bed.
"Maybe she should go and speak to Elrond. He already knows of our plan to reclaim Erebor. What other harm can he do." Fili finally said. Thorin rubbed his hand across the beard on his chin, looking into the distance. The room fell quiet, as if they were waiting for his decision. Tauriel herself, refused to go speak to anyone on this matter if she did not have the full support of each member of her family, especially Thorin.
Thorin sighed deeply. "Alright. I am in agreement with Kili. Though I do not like anyone knowing what we went through, neither do I want to see Tauriel suffer if something or someone can help. We may be thick headed and stubborn, but when it comes to family, we always choose blood." Tauriel smiled, though it was small.
"I wish for you to all come with me. I do not want to do this alone." They all nodded in agreement and together, went to request an audience with their host. Lindir had met them at the entrance of one of the main buildings, and did not seem surprised at their request, rather, ushered them in where Elrond waited as if he knew they were coming.
"Ah, Thorin, welcome. Please. Sit. All of you." He called for wine, eliciting an excited smile from Fili who had grown fond of the sweet elven wine, though he refused to admit it outright. "Now, how can I be of help."
Tauriel shifted in her seat between Kili and Fili, and Thorin looked directly to his niece, waiting for her lead.
"Lord Elrond, I have been seeing, things, visions, which are troubling." She was not sure how much she needed to say or explain. He sat with his fingers touching, studying her quietly. It was not an altogether uncomfortable gesture, though she wished she was not at the center of it.
"Are you gifted with sight?" Shaking her head quickly, she responded.
"Healing, but never sight. As far as I know, sight has never been a gift in my family, though I know little of them."
Elrond only hummed. "Would you tell me what it is you are seeing." Looking around the room, Tauriel suddenly felt sick. She wishes she had not given into Kili. She hated speaking of the things she sees, as they are painful to revisit. Pulling up the courage of her Dwarrow family, her hands each finding themselves locked, one in her husbands the other in her brothers. She sat up straight and began to give a detailed account of each experience.
When she was finished, she sat back and waited for the questions she knew would come. Elrond stood from his chair and walked towards her, standing beside where Thorin sat.
"Why come to me?"
Of all the questions she was expecting, the probing, and interrogation this was not the first question she expected him to ask.
"Forgive me, but I have heard you yourself have the gift of vision."
"Indeed. I do. You are correct, but what you are seeing, are not visions, at least not in the sense you may think."
Tauriel was not sure if this was comforting or more terrifying.
"If they are not visions, what are they and how can they be stopped?" Kili sounded more frustrated than she felt.
"What your wife is experience, master dwarf, if my assessment is correct, is something altogether beyond what I or any mere mortal can help with. She took this upon herself when she came back from the dead."
A collective gasp filled the air and Fili and Kili both stood.
"Where did you come by this information." Fili shouted.
"I swear if you use this information to any advantage, it will be your last." Kili growled.
Thorin looked from his nephews to the elven Lord, who seemed not to be intimidated in the least by the young princes, instead, his expression held something akin to awe.
"In my many years, never have I thought I would see Dwarrows so protective of an elf." He looked at each, then sat himself down.
"I give you my word, the first I have heard of Tauriel's condition, is here and now. Do not mistake my knowledge as information from outside. I can see it in you, daughter of the forest. I saw a piece of it on our visit under a sennight ago, and now I understand." He paused for a moment. "How did you lose your immortality?" Something in his questioning made it seem like he had an idea.
"I did not lose it." Tauriel replied stiffly. "I gave it freely." Lord Elrond nodded, looking between her and Kili.
"I can see why you would. A love a fierce as the one you two share is worthy of such a choice. What I do not understand, is never, in any elf I have come across who has made a choice such as yours, been connected in the way you are connected to him. It is almost as if it is a one-way connection."
Tauriel considered his statement, looking around the room before resolving her decision. "It is true."
"Tauri, are you sure?" Tauriel looked to Fili, then to Thorin who sat quietly, his features giving nothing away, then to Kili, who was looking at her and gave a subtle nod.
"It is true, Lord Elrond, my life force is tied to Kili's fully. When he leaves this world, I shall too."
"And if you leave this world?" Kili stiffened beside Tauriel, his eyes narrowing, then looking down to the floor. Clearly at war between wanting to tear the elf to shreds for even mentioning it and wanting to pretend it was never said.
"If I leave this world, Kili will live on until his time has come." Her voice solemn and quiet. She laced her fingers with Kili's. Giving him some comfort, as her words were clearly distressing him.
"Well, it seems to me like you are quite extraordinary, lady Tauriel. I wish I could give you more information and advice on what you are seeing, but I am afraid there is nothing I can do. It is something you will need to work through. With the support you have around you, I have the greatest confidence you will overcome whatever comes your way. I will tell you this, trust in yourself, and those you hold closest, they will be your greatest of allies. I will say this in warning. What has inflicted you, I am unsure would be wise seeking out. In time it may lose strength and leave you, but, giving into our fears often give control to others who only seek to harm. Our minds often deceive us with the strength of our fears, do not give them power." He watched her carefully, looking as if he was going to say more, but instead turned to Thorin "Thorin Oakenshield, I trust your company is comfortable?"
"Aye, I thank you for your hospitality, though I do hope to be leaving it soon. We must move on."
With that the conversation turned to their journey ahead, Elrond clearly not in approval of their plans, and Thorin slowly going from tolerant to agitated with each passing moment. When Thorin shot out a "I do not see how that is your concern!" when Elrond had inquired on Bilbo's part of the journey, Tauriel decided it was time to take it upon herself to get them out, since her husband and brother do not seem to be giving any indication they were ready to leave.
What was it Dis did when she really wanted to leave a dam party but didn't want to offend? Oh, right, headache. Taking a leaf from Dis's book she lifted her hand to her temple, and gave a quick hiss, immediately catching Kili's attention. "Are you well, Amralime? Is it something you are seeing?"
Kicking herself for going this route, she shook her head. Kili was already more than on edge with concerns for her, and all that Elrond had said did nothing to help ease them. She listened as the conversation ceased between the calm elven lord and the now agitated dwarven king. At least her plan would get them out of here before Thorin said something he could regret. Or, well, he may not regret it but she thought it would be best to remain diplomatic and respectful on behalf of her uncle.
"The headache I woke with seems to be back with full force. I am well, meleth nin, though perhaps a dark room and some tea would do me well." Then she turned to Thorin. "Thorin, if I remember correctly, Balin was waiting for you to return to finish your assessment on the repairs of the contrakise."
Drawing his eyebrows in but nodding slowly, Thorin rose from his seat "You are correct, it appears time has burned away." He turned to the elven lord and gave a small incline of the head "Thank you again for your advice to my niece, she means a great deal to our family and her pain is ours." He then made for the door, giving Kili and Fili a knowing look as he waited for them.
Elrond stood as well. "Of course, should you need anything, please know my door is always open." He indicated to Tauriel "Will you need a healer?"
"No, I will be fine, thank you." She grabbed Kili's hand who was about to say something, and all but dragged her husband out. She knew if he opened his mouth, odds are they would be in there longer. He gave her a hurt look, seeing through her, but shut his mouth and let her pull him towards the door. Fili gave her a smirk but otherwise followed them out.
"Well that was not helpful in the least." Fili finally muttered when they were a distance from the elven lord's study. "contrakise Tauri? What in blazing forge is a contrakise?"
"It was all I could come up with in the moment! It is not a word as far as I am aware, so I hoped he would think it was something dwarven and not offer aid." The three males laughed, even Thorin looked up at the elf with twinkling amusement, an odd expression on his usually stoic face."Remind me to put you in charge of ending meetings in the future, that was clever."
Tauriel only laughed, the sound twinkling through the night air.
They all dispersed when they returned to the company, Thorin actually did have to speak to Balin, so he bid his family goodnight and went to seek the older Dwarrow out. Fili went straight for the food Bombur was stewing, the Dwarrow having unanimously deciding they would handle their own meals, to no offence to the elves and their hospitality. They just could not pallet so many greens. Kili stood quietly beside Tauriel, too quietly. In fact, he barely uttered a word on their way back which was unlike her Kili who loved to fill the air with his thoughts and teasing banter.
Sensing he needed privacy, she tugged his hand and gently led him in the direction of their small room. Kili going without argument. She shut the door behind them and pushed Kili down on the bed before leaning down to remove his shoes, one at a time. Kili only looked on, his eyes watching each of her moves as he reached his hand out and ran it through her hair as she kneeled before him. Once his shoes were off, she helped him remove his coat, then stripped herself of her own shoes and jacket and climbed onto the bed, pulling her husband to lay directly beside her.
Kili was always the one to come to her, always so open, always asking her to speak her thoughts to him so he could help however he can, so this was a big role reversal for them as she traced the side of Kili's face. She could only describe the look in his eyes as a quiet sort of despair which was alarming her more by the minute.
"Kili, talk to me. What is it?"
Kili stared at her as if he was afraid she would disappear, finally after a few moments of silence to which she figured he was gathering his thoughts, he responded, the words cutting through her.
"It isn't fair." He began, his voice barely above a whisper. "If I die, you will be instantly by my side. But should something happen to you.." Something like a sob broke his sentence, but no tears yet fell from his eyes.
"Oh, Kili." She muttered but Kili was already going on.
"If something happens to you, I must live on. How, Amralime, how can I do that? Why, why could I not be connected in the same way. I do not think I bare the strength to live a life without knowing you are alive. Even if you were to leave me, go off into your elven sunset among the stars that shine above. Even if you were to rejoin your people and that elven king in your precious trees. Knowing you were alive would be enough to keep me tethered to this world. But, my Tauriel, how do I find the will to stay when you are so far away from me, gone from the world, walking among the halls of the greats. Please tell me Tauriel. For I have not the desire or strength to endure it."
Everything in her screamed to drag Kili back to Ered Luin, back to their little room where they could shut the world out together and safely live their lifetime locked in the knowledge no harm will befall either of them.
Since she was told she was connected to Kili's lifetime, she held a sense of happiness knowing she could never truly be parted from her precious and most beloved other half. The one she could never truly be without. She hated herself for not considering Kili not being connected to her own life. It was true, if Kili died, she would follow she assumed instantly. However, if she died before Kili, he would continue on. She thought of what it would be like, and Tauriel came up with the same questions as Kili. How could she find the desire, the good around her, to want to stay?
She pulled his hand, lifting it to her still beating heart. "My Kili. I am very much alive, please do not worry of what has yet, or may never transpire." She began, pulling until his head rested on her chest where his hand just vacated. She entangled her fingers into his long, loose, curls, pulling him impossibly closer as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She was comforted in his weight resting upon her as she thought about how to relay her thoughts.
"Kili…" She quietly began "I will do all that I can to remain by your side. I want to first dissolve those ridiculous notions of me going off somewhere you are not. I know I am not a perfected being, and we will argue. I apologize again for my actions before the trolls. I want you to know that even as I pushed you away, all I wanted was to be near you. I do not know what is going on inside me, but please know your place is always by my side for I do not ever wish to be parted from you." She traced her hand down from his hair to his rough cheek, following the lines of his jaw before retracing it back up again, beginning a repeating path just as she buried her nose in his hair.
"If…" She started, Kili as if sensing the impending conversation tightened his grip on her and buried his face in her neck. A tear escaped her eye at the obvious distress Kili was going through but she needed him to hear what she was going to say so she turned her head so her lips where grazing his ear.
"Kili, if something were to happen to me. I want you to promise me to live. Live and be happy my love. Do it for Fili, who needs you more then he will ever admit it. He will be king one day, and you are everything to him. Live for Thorin, who is more a father to you than an uncle. He has a difficult path to overcome, and your courage gives him strength. Live for Dis who has already lost so much, losing a son would undo her. Live knowing I am with you, beside you, waiting for you to take my hand once again. Live Kili, and love. Please Kili, please promise me you will live." She kissed his temple when she finished, leaving her lips there, unwilling to not be connected to him in some way. Her husband was now shaking with barely contained sobs and she held him, patiently waiting for him to collect himself.
"Do not make me make such promises Amralime. Please do not make me." His voice was muffled by where it remained buried. Tauriel used her hands to lift his head so she could look into his eyes, those sad, brown, eyes.
"Kili, I need you to. If not for me, for our family." She watched as he looked down, then gave a barely perceptible nod "Alright. For Fili, mam, and Thorin I will live. But please to not expect me to be happy. How could I ever truly be happy without you?" It would have to do for now. She could not suppose she could promise anything different. She hopes he will never have to make do with this promise and there was nothing for it now, so with a small feat of strength she shoved her husband, a surprised yelp ripping from his mouth as she reversed their positions ending with her straddling his hips as she looked down on him and smiled.
"Now, my precious prince, it seems like both our hearts are beating so let us choose to live AND be happy and not worry about things which could never be." His hands instantly came up to grab her small hips and finally, a smile graced his lips. How did she get so lucky to have such devotion and love from another being?
"Oh, do you have plans love?" His eyes sparkled as his eyebrows rose suggestively. Tauriel laughed and he brought her lips to his. "Maybe." She smirked.
Leaning forward she nuzzled her nose with his and smiled.
"There you are." Here was her Dwarrow, sparkling eyes, teasing smile, and chopped full of suggestive comments. She definitely had plans, and they involved spending the night making her Kili forget his fears.
"How long do you think we will have to be here?" Bilbo asked from beside Tauriel. Her Dwarrow was off with Fili doing, she has no idea what, leaving her with Bilbo and Balin. Dwalin was somewhere close speaking to Thorin.
"I do not know if it will be much longer lad. Thorin has a mind to get on our journey and I am of the same. We are pressing for time if we mean to get to the mountain before Durin's day approaches."
It was nearing a fortnight since they arrived and even Tauriel was itching to move on. Since they spoke, Kili seemed to be in better spirits. When he was happy, she felt happy. Not that she felt she could not be happy if he was not in the vicinity, but she did prefer her precious other half near, she mused, as she happily munched on some greens. She may favor meat in her diet, but she did also enjoy green food unlike her family and friends. Dis used to always make sure to add in extra greens for her in Ered Luin, she smiled fondly in the memory as her fingers felt the slim folding picture frame she always kept with her inside her pocket. Another thing she loved about Dwarrow fashion apart from being warm and soft, pockets and lots of them. Probably how Fili was able to hide so many blades on him.
She looked in the distance to the dimming sky, Kili and Fili had been gone for several hours and though she was not worried for their safety, she did worry of their dual desire to find trouble. If it was one, or the other, she would not see a problem, but the pair of them together, always spelled disaster. Her mind pulling up an image of Kyghie and the ram. Valor, she hopes they do not do something similar here. Dis has told her at length of the things the duo got up to in their youth together, though many of the stories where rather recent. She smiled to herself as the thought her husband and her brother would always be considered "youth" with their antics. They would be over 400 years old and still team pranking.
"I do not wish to intrude on your thoughts, lady Tauriel, but are you fairing better?" Bilbo was always very kind, and proper. She enjoyed his company, as subdued as he was especially in relation to a Dwarrow.
"I am, thank you Bilbo. And I am not a lady, so please, just Tauriel."
"Actually." Balin stepped in. Tauriel groaned, she forgot the elder Dwarrow was in the room. "Being married to Kili and practically adopted by Dis and Thorin, makes you a princess, whether you want to be or not lass is neither here nor there. You are, by law, Princess Tauriel of Erebor and Ered Luin. Though the former will be solidified by a coronation when the time should come."
Bilbo's eyes widened as he stuttered out "Oh my, forgive me, my la…I mean, Princess Tauriel. I did not know I was addressing you incorrectly." Coming from Fili, the statement would have been drenched in sarcasm. She could almost hear the words and ensuing laughter. However, from Bilbo, they were laced with honesty and sincerity.
"Please Bilbo, you do not call Kili and Fili with their titles, or Thorin. Do not do so with me either. I am not fully, comfortable, with the title. Tauriel, or Tauri if you wish, would please me exceedingly."
The hobbit blushed and smiled before stammering out he was going to go dine with the elves, dismissing himself from the room. The very quiet room.
"Balin, you do not know, by chance, where I could find Fili and Kili? They have been gone for far too long to not have found trouble by now." Balin laughed quietly.
"Nay lass, I have not, but perhaps it would be wise to seek them out. I will leave you to the task. I need to go speak to Thorin and Dwalin." Both stood and left from opposite sides of the room, Tauriel to find her wayward husband and brother, and Balin to join Thorin and Dwalin a few doors down.
Tauriel passed by several elves on her little quest. None here were unkind in any way, but she still bristled at the looks and whispers often accompanied by a stiff air of snobbery, as if they were better than the company visiting. She, with her "strange" attachment to the Dwarrows, well, strange according to the elvish whisperings. Tauriel did not think it strange in the least, though the connections often got her curious or odd looks from the elves of Rivendell. Valor, was this what she was like before Kili came into her life? Stiff, judging, and full of airs and graces? Thinking herself better than others for her gifts and being born an elf? She thought back to her life before Ered Luin. No, more than once Legolas used to look at her oddly with her un-elflike opinions. She always held the beliefs she had now, nobody is better than the other and gifts do not make one superior, only better blessed.
It was not just being with Dwarrows, or married to one, that made her a curiosity to the elves in Imladris. Her coming from the closed borders of Mirkwood and King Thranduil were the subject of many whispers and rumors coming back to her ears. It did not matter the race, creed, or culture…gossip was everywhere.
Looking around Tauriel sighed, she really did not desire to speak to anyone, but she did stop a few of the elves just ahead of her, addressing them in Sindarin.
"Excuse me, have you possibly seen where a few of my company went? The younger Dwarrow, one blonde and one with dark hair?" The taller elves eyed her for a second, one replying while the other silently stood, studying her. Not unkindly though, she noted in appreciation.
"It was a bit ago, but I believe they were headed to the southern part of the city with several others of your party. Perhaps you may find them there."
Without much more explanation, the pair continued on, leaving Tauriel once again alone. She sighed and took the path heading to the more southern portion of Rivendell. Her eyebrows wrinkled when splashing sounds met her sensitive ears. She picked up her pace, as far as she knew, the river was much further down, so what where her Dwarrow up to?
It was not until she entered the clearing that she realized what the company was doing and she blanched at the sight before her. There, in one of Elrond's large fountains, were many of the company of dwarves, stark naked, and bathing. She knew she should have come sooner, she narrowed her eyes. Around the base an impossible amount of blades stood and leaned against the fountain wall…Fili…she sighed.
She looked, one Dwarrow she could easily recognize as she knew every part of him intimately. The subject of her daily thoughts happened to climb up on the ledge, followed by his equally nude brother.
Making up her mind, Tauriel stepped forward, her footfalls as quiet as always not once alerting the bathing males, careful to keep her eyes on her husband only. She had no desire to get eyefuls of any Dwarrow not belonging to her, or she to them. Just as Fili and Kili stood on the edge to jump in, Tauriel marched up and grabbed each of their ears. Kili's hand immediately going to his ear as he yelped "Ow, ow, ow, ouch! Not so hard Tauriel, they are big enough already!"
Fili, however, used both his hands to cover himself, unable to keep unexposed and fight to release pressure on his ear at the same time. "TAURIEL! Stop, that hurts!" Not letting go, she turned and gave the dwarves a tongue lashing in perfect Khuzdul Dis would have been proud of.
Some of the company began laughing at Fili and Kili until they were leveled with the elf's glare, and immediately shut their mouths, Ori even going as far to cover his own ears in protection as he ducked down further into the water.
"There is a bathing house! What are you doing!" She sniped, still clinging to the princes ears. "Dis would kill you both for this, I know it was your idea in the making."
"Ah, Amralime, my lady love, my beautiful wife….um…" He looked to Fili who was still holding his hands in place, but had lifted an eyebrow at his younger brother. "That is all I got. Fi?"
"Oh no, do not put this on me, this was your idea."
"Since you both are here, naked, and bathing, I put this equally on all of your shoulders. Bofur…really?!"
"Com' on lass, we are jus' avin a bit o fun."
Tauriel rolled her eyes. "Out! And get dressed."
"Tauri, can you please let go so we can get our clothes?" Tauriel glared at the blonde prince, gave each of their ears a harsh tug resulting in another round of "OUCH!" and "STOP!" then released them. Folding her arms as they all went to get their clothes.
If she had turned her head, she would have seen Elrond walking up just down the path with Lindir, asking how long the dwarves had been planning on staying. She missed the impressed looks both elves were giving as they watched the elf march up, and take charge, her temper matching her fiery hair. She truly was a unique elf, indeed, Elrond thought with amusement at the scene.
If the Dwarrow princes thought they were in the clear, they were quite mistaken. Upon entering there accommodations, Tauriel marched straight to Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin and told them of the 'activity' the company had chosen for the day, and Thorin too gave them a harsher talking to about keeping to their quarters just before Balin lectured them on hospitality. They all apologized to Thorin, even if it was reluctantly, and were freed to prepare for the evening meal.
Seeing as they were properly chastised, Tauriel gave the company a smile and joined them as Bombur set about making dinner. It only took seconds for the room to be filled with laughter once again, especially as dinner was passed around. A full Dwarrow was a happy Dwarrow. Bofur threw Bombur a piece of food as he sat, precariously atop a groaning table. He caught the food instantly, and the table gave out causing a roar of laughter as Bombur rolled around the ground trying to get up.
Tauriel sat, joining the laughter between her husband's legs towards the back wall on a bench. She had plans to sit here and remain, but her sensitive elven ears picked up a conversation in the distance. Mithrandir was speaking to Elrond…loudly. Obviously not caring who heard, about the Lonely Mountain. Erabor.
"What is it?" Sensing her shift in mood, Kili looked at Tauriel.
"Mithrandir is arguing with Elrond. Stay here, I will be right back."
"Uh uh, I am coming with you." She gave Kili a small smile and stood, lifting her hand to help him up. The couple easily slipped through the door, and out onto the veranda as they followed the sound of voices. Neither should have been surprised to see Bilbo, staring in the direction of the argument just as Mithrandir was stating Erebor was Thorin's birthright.
Tauriel felt more then saw Thorin come up behind them as he stood on Tauriel's other side. Bilbo turning to look at the three as they stood silently listening.
"What do you fear?" Mithrandir finally asked Elrond. His answer causing Thorin to stiffen beside her.
"Have you forgotten? A strain of madness runs in that family. His grandfather lost his mind. His father succumbed to the same sickness. Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall. Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with us alone. It is not up to you, or me to re-draw the map of middle earth."
"With or without our help, these dwarves will march on the mountain. They are determined to reclaim their homeland."
Tauriel looked to Thorin, who was facing away from them now, having heard what was said of him. "Uncle…" Kili began but Thorin silenced him with a look.
"He is not wrong. Our family is cursed with madness Kili. You mother said as much before we left."
Tauriel watched Thorin and Kili. Thorin who spent countless hours in the last year teaching her a language considered sacred to the dwarves, Thorin who told her stories of his travels as he smelted metals and forged weapons, Thorin who stood beside her in her fathers place at her wedding, choosing freely to give her away, as a father would. Thorin who in rare moments, although gruff, stoic, and stern had the same twinkle in his eyes and smile on his face as her Kili. Kili, her Kili, kind, courageous, loyal, ridiculous, Kili. How could such a special spirit fall into a type of madness which could and would destroy all that he is? Not even in her mind could Fili or Dis succumb to such madness as they say. She just could not see it.
Bilbo, as if sensing the need for privacy, excused himself with barely a word. "I succumbed." Thorin graveled out.
"Uncle, you cannot be sure of that." Kili argued. Thorin looked at his nephew. "But I do, Kili. It is one of the images I have not forgotten. A feeling I should say. I can almost feel the pull of the mountain. It calls to me and I feel powerless to stop it's enticing voice." He was looking into the distance, where the lonely mountain would be standing tall if the cliffs and forests of Imladris were not blocking it from view.
"You are greater than that, you are more than an illness." Tauriel moved to stand before Thorin. "I believe, as we take this journey, in many ways we are all, the four of us, different. We may not remember the path we took before, but our experience in Valinor, residual memories, and everything we have gone through in the last year has changed us." Thorin looked unconvinced.
"Think back, before Valinor. The memories are not there of our journey, but our feelings of who we were as individuals is. Would you have allowed an elf into your home settlement, let alone allow them to court and marry your nephew?" The look Thorin gave her was all the answer she needed.
"I know if anyone would have told me I not only was going to fall in love and marry a Dwarrow, but feel more at home among his family and people in only a year then I felt in 600 years in Mirkwood, I would have shot an arrow through their head just to put their insane ramblings to an end. We are not who we were. You, I, Kili, Fili, even Dis are more than we were. Together, we can overcome all. Dragon, orc, and illness."
Thorin still looked skeptical. "And what if I cannot. What if I cannot resist the calls."
"Then we will remind you of who you really are, uncle, we will stand by you. Family and blood." Kili stepped forward and leaned his forehead against Thorin's. Both closing their eyes and pulled away. Thorin pulling Tauriel in for the same gesture.
"Thank you, the both of you. I can not promise the path ahead will be easy, but having you both, and Fili, makes this worth all we may endure, sickness included."
Tauriel looked up to where Mithrandir and Elrond had disappeared. Her expression gave nothing away, but the tiny shift in her stance and the slight narrowing of her eyes had Kili looking the same direction.
"What is it?" Thorin looked as well.
"The Lady Galadriel is here, as is another wizard. They are arguing about something coming. Something dangerous in Dol Guldur."
"What is Dol Guldur?" Kili could not hear what Tauriel heard, and was looking at his wife as she relayed the information. "It is an old ruin on the border of Mirkwood. It must be the source of the sickness in the greenwood." Two sets of Dwarrow eyes stared at her, confused.
"Several years before I left Mirkwood, we have been reporting a darkness blighting the usually peaceful land. It has only gotten worse over time. This must be where it is originating." She looked back up to where the eldar and wizards are speaking. "They wish us not go continue our quest."
"Then we must go. Now." Thorin turned towards the stairs, Tauriel and Kili following close behind. They entered the room of merry making Dwarrow, and one hand raise from Thorin had the room silenced immediately.
"We have remained long enough. We press on. Now. Pack up. Time to leave."
Tauriel and Kili left to go grab their things from the room they were staying. It was not more than a moment when Fili came bounding in, his pack already on his back. Fili never really liked unpacking, thinking it best to be ready at a moments notice when on the road, Thorin often praising his young nephew on his preparedness. Though Kili and Tauriel believed it had less to do with being prepared and more to do with being able to sleep even just a little longer. Fili loved his sleep.
"What is going on?" Kili signaled Tauriel to fill Fili in, indicating he would finish the packing. Tauriel related what had transpired moments ago, and Fili listened intently. He looked solemnly on as she spoke about Thorin's fear and possible illness. "I would be lying if I wasn't concerned, for all of us. Ki and I included. We all share the mad blood."
"You are not mad, and you will not succumb Fili. We can get through this. Have faith." He gave her a tight smile and helped Kili with the remainder of the packing before they exited the room. The company was ready in nearly no time and marching quietly out the door. The only proof they had even been there being a broken table against the wall.
"Well, that was an entertaining two weeks. Tauri, I had no idea you elves were so…welcoming." Tauriel rolled her eyes at Fili as they trekked through the tall grass of the field leading away from Rivendell. They walked through the night, at Thorin's orders, to make sure they got far enough away to not be stopped. Though, it came as a surprise, that Gandalf had come to Balin, not finding Thorin, and instructed the old Dwarrow that they may need to leave, and if they did, to meet him in the mountains. Thorin did not seem pleased to be ordered about, and just kept walking, choosing to put his temper to use in his great, bounding, steps forward.
"You should see where Mirkwood puts their guests if it displeases Thranduil." She looked down at Fili with one lifted eyebrow and a dangerous smirk. "He does not typically enjoy being hospitable. Though, I would not go far to call him cruel." She finished in an afterthought. Both Fili and Kili looked at her as if SHE were mad.
"Was he really as difficult as they say, Amralime?"
Tauriel thought for a moment, then sighed. They were at the rear of the company keeping a lookout from the back. "No. Not to his people. He is, for the most part, well loved and respected. He puts his people above all else, not sure what more you can ask from a king. Don't let Thorin hear this, but they share many of the same admiral qualities. Both fiercely protective…"
"And equally stubborn" Balin finished from just ahead. The trio laughed, it was rare Balin made a pass at Thorin but he was not wrong. Balin did not say more as he continued forward acting as if he had not said a word at all.
The group traveled for over an entire day, making their way from the valley towards the lonely mountain. They would make camp at night, taking turns keeping watch at night. The following week was a repetition of spending the day walking and the night camping. Everyone pulling their weight and not one complaining, not even Bilbo though he did often say how much he missed home, though only to those who asked. He otherwise remained quiet.
Tauriel felt a type of kinship to Bilbo. She knew what it was like to be the only one of your race among another. It took her months to feel accepted by the Dwarrow, even with her family at her side. Loyal as they are, such a thing must be earned, never given. Apart from Fili, Kili, Bofur, and herself, most either ignored Bilbo or looked at him like he was a hinderance more than a help. She often found him walking the paths of Imladris alone and would join him whenever she did.
Tonight, both her and Bilbo were tasked with scouting ahead before they lost any more daylight. Well, it was originally her and Kili, but Fili wanted help gathering ingredients Bombur needed for dinner, so Bilbo kindly volunteered to accompany the elf. Thorin and Dwalin were going the other direction. Their plan, to see which was a more direct path to the mountains.
"I am going to be honest. I actually miss those ponies." Bilbo admitted. She knew he, at first, did not like the beasts, but they grew on him.
"They were nice to have. I am sure they are well. Probably returned home as they are trained to do." She pushed a branch out of her way and held it for Bilbo who thanked her on his way past.
"How far do you think we should go?" Tauriel looked around, then looked up into the trees. "Well, Mr. Boggins," he chuckled, it had become a bit of a joke between Fili, Kili, Tauriel, and Bilbo, "I do not see any clearance in these trees, so we could keep going forward, or I can go up and see if I can get our bearings better from up high." He gave a sweeping gesture to the tree.
"Just call if you find trouble, or trouble finds you." Bilbo nodded in understanding then stood and watching in awe as Tauriel gracefully and nimbly ascended the tree. It was really second nature to her. She reached the top of the rather tall tree after several minutes, and looked over the landscape. If they headed further west, she thought, they would be able to hit the mountains much faster than their current path.
Her assessment was interrupted, however, by the sound of clanging metal. Gauging the distance and direction, it could only have come from their camp. "Kili and Fili." She thought as her heart began to race. She all but dove to the ground, a surprised hobbit barely keeping up with her as he tried to ask what was going on.
"Someone is attacking. I do not know. I heard noises as if a battle is raging from where we left the company. Come, we must hurry." Bilbo drew his small blade and Tauriel already had her twin blades, she nearly always kept on her back, ready to attack in her dangerous hands. Running as fast as they could, Bilbo barely keeping up, they surged through the trees into the clearing.
The Dwarrow were fighting and hard. Lunging, smashing, and Kili and Ori shooting their respective weapons…if you call a slingshot a weapon in Ori's case. Tauriel looked around her, stance in fighting readiness, but something was off. She looked over as Fili whipped a blade out.
"Tauri duck, ones behind you!" Instinctively she did as Fili said, ducking low to the ground in a squat as a blade sailed over her head and embedded itself….in a tree.
"Another down." Fili yelled.
"Uhmmm, Tauriel, what is going on?" Bilbo quietly murmured. His blade still in his hand but no longer raised in possible defense. Looking at the dwarves battling she could not come up with an answer.
Kili was now out of arrows and swinging his sword at one tree, leaving sizable blade marks in the bark. Fili had joined him in a joint effort to take down the "foe". Oin and Gloin were team attacking a large boulder which Balin stood on calling out strategies. Ori was tangled in a vine yelling to the others "They have me!" While Dori and Nori attempted to wrestle him free, Nori falling and getting his own self entangled while brandishing an axe to free himself and his brother from the fiendish "captor".
Bofur was holding a small pack, which looked as if it had stew spilled all over it, in his lap as he rocked it back and forth, crying out "Oh the poor lad! 'e was so kind. Our obbit'. I could no defend him. 'e has gone the way to mahal."
Bombur was just completely passed out and Tauriel had no idea where Bifur had gone off to. Hopefully not far.
Tauriel walked through the fighting dwarves, "aiding" as she passed and tried to puzzle out what was going on. Not coming to any immediate answers, she stepped up to her husband. "Kili? What is going on here, what are you doing? That is a tree meleth nin."
Kili's voice came out in breathy pants as he continued his assault. "We had just eaten the stew Bombur made when we were attacked on all sides…Fili! To the left!" Fili turned to his left at Kili's call, attempting to down the massive oak.
Well, she was getting nowhere. Wait. Did he say after they ate? She rushed over to the still upright pot near where Bombur lay motionless. She inspected the chunky stew. At first nothing seemed amiss, then something caught her eye. "Oh!"
"What is it?" Bilbo was looking down into the pot.
"Psilocybin Fungi." She answered, pulling a piece of one out for Bilbo to see. "They are sometimes used in extremely small quantities to aid in visions for some cultures. We are taught early on to avoid them at all cost. One small shroom could render a full man mad for many hours and this stew is filled with them."
"Oh no." Bilbo despondently looked around. Tauriel nodded. She was about to say more when Thorin and Dwalin raced into the clearing, weapons drawn. They looked confused for a moment at the company around them attacking seemingly nothing, then at the elf and hobbit at the center looking worried.
"What have you done ELF!" Dwalin roared, as he watched her slip the spoon back into the pot.
"She has done nothing." Bilbo stepped up to her defense. She really did like this hobbit.
"Tauriel, what is going on?" Thorin stepped between his niece and Dwalin, hoping to prevent any rash decisions.
"It appears they used Psilocybin mushrooms in tonight's stew. I do not believe it was done on purpose, but it has put all who partook in a dream like state. It would be best to keep everyone as close as possible. It will need to work through their systems, and they will all be sorry for it in the morning." She looked to Fili and Kili, Kili was now cradling a red blanket close to his chest. "Fili, they got her!" He was crying out as Fili demanded retribution "I will kill them. Hold on sister, I will avenge you! Khazad ai menu!"
"Kili, I am right here!" She called, but he did not seem to hear her. As much as she wishes she could believe what she told Thorin was true, that it was a mistake, part of her believed it was more likely the dynamic duo at it again. Kili probably found them, and Fili thought it would be funny to put it in the stew. She could not verify her inner musings, but…she narrowed her eyes at the two princes…it was highly likely. Those two would be the death of her.
"This is elf magic Thorin, proof, I tell you!"
"Valor Dwalin! If this was me, do not you think I would have made sure you were part of it! I have no abilities to do something like this. I was away, just as you were, getting our bearings. Nobody is to blame for this except the fungi."
Thorin sighed. He had to sidestep Dori running at a branch. "What do we need to do?"
"There is really nothing we can do, except try and keep everyone contained. Hopefully, their madness keeps them here in the clearing, but I fear they may try to disperse. We must keep them together." Just as she said this, Fili ran past and began entering the forest beyond.
"Fili! Help! I need your assistance!" Tauriel yelled, loudly hoping unlike Kili, Fili would react to her voice. Fili stopped immediately. "Tauriel? You're alive." He was not even looking at her, his focus falling on a shrub. Rolling her eyes, she hollered "Yes, quickly, get him, he is right beside you!" Fili instantly took to attacking the tree beside him. Thorin gave her a look clearly reading 'did that just happen?' before lifting his hands to rub his temples.
"Please tell me my nephews had nothing to do with this. Please tell me they did not have their hands in gathering ingredients as I slightly remember them being assigned."
Nobody spoke, even Dwalin looked to the two princes, one attacking a tree, and the other still cradling and crying over a blanket much like Bofur was still doing to the backpack.
"This will take a joint effort." She began, ignoring the question which was enough of a confirmation to Thorin as any, and they worked out a plan. Dwalin even putting his prejudice aside to work together. Each took a corner, Tauriel sitting on a log near Kili and blanket 'Tauriel'. They thought to untie poor Ori, but decided it was best to leave him and the equally tangled Nori as they were two less Dwarrows to keep an eye on. For the most part, Oin, Balin, and Gloin all seemed to lose energy quicker than the rest, each beginning to lose the battle of consciousness, falling to the ground fast asleep. All the better, Tauriel thought.
It took longer for Dori and Bifur who she had just noticed was high in a tree 'so that is where he went'…how did she miss that, and how did he even get up there? He seemed fine up where he was so she did not attempt to get him down.
Their biggest difficulty was Fili who kept trying to rouse the other Dwarrows to take the fight further into the forest once his mind thought the foes were defeated in the clearing. Tauriel would sigh, then lazily shoot an arrow from where she sat, straight at a tree where it landed with a soft "plunk" surrounded by several other arrows previously shot. She rolled her eyes, she cannot believe this is what it has come to. In a bored tone Tauriel called out "Fili. Another foe is coming. Raise your sword and defend." He would immediately go for the tree she shot and begin another assault. She is not sure why that worked but she was glad it did as she had no desire to go chasing after her wayward dwarven brother.
Once or twice Kili attempted to get up but Tauriel had tied his torso to the tree beside her. She was not about to lose her dwarf. He would resist for a moment until she would murmur sweetly into his ear, breaking into a bit of the fog in his mind, and he would settle, clinging to the blanket like a wee babe. She did feel a little bad, they would be miserable in the morning. The mushroom leaves the system with a gut wrenching vengeance. She will need to make them some ginger or peppermint tea to help ease their pain. That being said, this will be a delightful bit of hilarity in the future. She cannot wait to tell Dis and Leotti. Though Dis would know the moment she heard the story who may have been involved. Add Dis to Leotti will never let Fili live it down if she found out and she had some wonderful blackmail. Pure and juicy.
Just as she said, by morning all, even Fili, had succumbed to unconsciousness. As much as Thorin wanted to move on, he, along with Tauriel, thought it would be best to give the company a day to get over the after-effects of the mushroom. She was alerted to the beginnings of their plights as she heard the first of several groans coming from the dark-haired prince beside her.
"I feel as if I have been run in by a ram!" Kili groused beside her. She kneeled before him and rested her hand over his forehead.
"Kili! You are awake! You seemed to have quite the night love. How do you feel?"
"Like I am about to birth an orc." He cringed out, both arms cradling his stomach. "What did I eat?"
"That would be a toxic mushroom my love." She responded as she completely removed the bindings, Kili giving her a questioning look as he just realized he had been secured to a tree. Before he could ask, however, his stomach gave an unsatisfied rumble and Kili shot up.
"I think I need a moment." He darted into the forest, Tauriel looking on worriedly. He was not the only one, one by one the Dwarrow's of Thorin's company rose and departed deep into the forest, coming back clutching their stomachs. Tauriel made them some tea to help ease their discomfort and she spent the day playing nurse to each one. Thorin and Dwalin as well as Bilbo pitching in and helping.
Fili seemed to be the only one who did not have any ill effects of the mushroom. He slept until late afternoon, then popped up sitting next to Tauriel and asked what the matter was with everyone else. Of course, it would be Fili who could stomach a hallucination causing toxic fungus. She just shoved some peppermint tea into his hands and a piece of toast and told him to eat. The company was down the entire day, though none had any semblance of memory from the night before only sore muscles and horrible stomach cramps.
It took them another day before everyone felt well enough to move forward. Fili and Kili were vehemently told to never help gather ingredients again, though both pleaded innocence in the great mushroom escapade, Tauriel could almost see a spark of amusement in both their eyes. Those stupid Dwarrows. Tauriel was exhausted. Not having slept in nearly two days was getting to her, and she happily accepted a night off from watch when they made their next camp, falling asleep as soon as she lay down and not rising again until Kili kissed her awake the next morning.
Thorin decided to follow Tauriel's advice and the company followed the westward side of the forest until they reached the pathway they needed to lead them through the mountains ahead. It would be a grueling journey, but they had no choice if they were going to make the time they needed. Once through the mountains, it would take them several weeks to get to the edges of the Greenwood and Mirkwood, then over the lake and past Dale and they would reach the mountain. So far, in the last week, Tauriel had been free of any visions or dreams despite her apprehensions on the matter. She hopes it remains this way.
It was just their luck that the rains began once they entered the precarious mountain paths. With each step, the rains hammered down and as the sky darkened, lightning and thunder filled the air. Tauriel held her hood close as she squinted ahead of her. Even she could barely make out the back of Dwalin who marched in front of her. Somehow, in the narrow path, she got separated from Kili and Fili and ended up towards the front near Dwalin, Bilbo, and Thorin.
She looked behind her and just in time too. Just as Bilbo was about to lose his footing, she grabbed the slipping hobbit and helped right him, he looked at her with gratitude as Thorin called to the company behind him."We must find shelter!" He yelled. Tauriel heard him, but with the pounding rain, she doubts anyone near the back heard.
"Look out!" The warning from Dwalin came in barely enough time as a giant boulder flung through the air landing just above them, showering the company with rocks as they attempted to brace for the impact.
"This is no thunder storm…this is a thunder battle! Look!" Tauriel's eyes widened as she looked out through the rain and mist where Balin pointed to see massive giants, hurling rocks and stony fists at each other.
"The legends are true! Giants, stone giants!" Bofur gasped from several Dwarrows behind her. As rocks hit above and around them, Dwalin grabbed Bilbo pulling him further back against the cliff wall. She could hear some commotion behind them, and she exclaimed in alarm when she saw a great crack forming between Fili and Kili, a crack quickly widening as the pair was separated, Kili on her side, and Fili and the remaining company being pulled meters away.
"Kili!" They could only listen as half the company was now separated and too late did she realize it was because they were clinging to a giant. These were not mountains at all! Tauriel could barely keep her footing and she flung to grab Thorin as he, like Bilbo moments ago, began losing his footing holding the dwarven king steady. The ground crumbling at his feet as the giant stood and took to battle with another giant. Its movements causing all of them to cling desperately to the rocks to stay on as the giant they rode was losing his battle and falling to the rocks.
"What are we going to do!" She yelled to Thorin.
"We need to get off, can you reach that ledge across the way?" Tauriel looked to where he was indicating.
"I think so." She let go of the wall, and pushed herself forward, leaping over the gap and landing easily on the solid rock, just slipping slightly on the wet stone. Bilbo, with help of Thorin and Dwalin came soon after.
"Uncle, you next." Kili hollered from behind him. He could see Fili and the others as they clung to the other giant. Thorin was about to jump, when something coming their way made him stop, and his entire being seize. Just as he was about to go, he watched helplessly as a giant carrying Fili and the others fell forwards towards Tauriel, Dwalin, and Bilbo.
From the other side of the gap, Tauriel was the first to see their impending doom. She shoved Bilbo back into a crevice hopefully to keep him from harm.
"DWALIN! Look out!" She attempted to grab the larger Dwarrow, but he instantly pushed her away on instinct. Tauriel had not time to react or protect herself, the force of his shove had her slipping over the edge.
"Tauriel!" She could hear Bilbo yelling from where she clung desperately to the hard, wet, stone, dangling over the edge. She could barely make out a massive hand reaching down to her.
"Grab on!" Dwalin was leaning over attempting to grab her, but she was too far down to reach up. She tried to get a better purchase of the stone, but the rain was making her hands slip and difficult to hang onto anything. She was truthfully unsure she could hold on for much longer as her fingers slowly slid from the stone, regardless of the white knuckled grip she had. With one last push of effort she used her feet to kick herself up to get closer to Dwalin. He was able to grasp her wrist, but only just. He tried to get himself braced enough to pull the light elf up, but his eyes fell upon the falling giant.
"Great Mahal, no." Was all he could get out before Tauriel turned her head enough to see what he was looking at, but it was too late. Dwalin would never forget the look of terror that befell her features as she saw what was coming. Unable to hold fast, her hand slipped from Dwalin's fist and she fell hard to a ledge below her, the wind knocking instantly from her longs from long drop, her shoulder and hip giving painful cracks at the impact. She looked up at where she once was, only to barely see Thorin looking down at where she fell, screaming. She turned her head and closed her eyes. A wall of rock was coming her way, and she had no way of moving in time.
"I am so sorry Kili." She quietly muttered as the air silenced, and pain erupted and Tauriel knew no more.
Dwalin yelled out for the elf, his hand clinging to the beaded bracelet which came loose as she slipped from him. What just happened. He fell backwards as the giant form collided with where he once stood, barely inching into the crevice near Bilbo saving him from the same fate which befell the elf.
Thorin ran up to the group, looking frantically around just as Kili came slamming into them. Thorin seeing Bilbo and Dwalin no worse for wear let out a breath of relief until his world spiraled down when Kili screamed out.
"Where is she, where is my wife!" Dwalin looked over to the edge and closed his eyes. Slowly, he opened his hand to reveal the small beaded bracelet Tauriel refused to take off. The gift from Hillanna.
"Lad, I tried."
"No…" Kili shook his head taking steps away, "NO! Tauriel! TAURIEL!" Kili surged towards the ledge only to be grabbed by Thorin, holding his struggling form.
"Let go of me! I need to find her! TAURIEL!" Kili tried with everything he had to be released, but Thorin held fast.
"Kili, she is gone." Thorin choked out.
No one could have survived that fall and the rock wall. Both Dwalin and Thorin knew that. Bilbo watched on silently, his head bowed as he listened to the agony in Kili's usually bright voice.
"She cannot be gone." Kili choked out.
Ori had joined the group, looking on at the scene before him. They heard a shuffle and Fili and the rest of the company jumped down.
"We need to get out of here!" He called over the rain, confused as to why nobody was moving. One look at his brother made his heart stop and the blood drain from his face. Immediately his eyes scanned the company, searching purposefully for a sign of red hair and elven features. Dwarrow…only Dwarrow. His knees began to give but he held fast as he looked at his frantic brother still being held by Thorin. Kili needed his strength. He jumped forward.
"Fili! We need to get down there. Tauriel…Tauriel she, she fell!" Fili looked down at the solid, unmoving stone giant they just fell from themselves. Then he looked up at his uncle who was shaking his head subtly. He saw enough to believe she was gone. He turned sad eyes at Kili.
"Kili." He tried, but Kili was looking at him, betrayed. "No Fi, don't say it. She's isn't gone. She cannot be gone."
"Lad, I watched.." Kili yanked himself from Thorin with enough force to free himself of the hold and turned, his body radiating anger and disgust. It was a look Dwalin had never seen on the young prince, and wished never to again.
"Do not speak to me! You hated her. You wanted her gone. You…" He shoved Dwalin's chest pushing him against the rock behind him, Dwalin allowing the assault with his head bowed "you did this to her! You killed her" Kili's legs buckled and he fell to the wet, stone ground. Dwalin moved to help him but Kili lifted his eyes just barely and growled out "Do not EVER come near me. I will never forgive you and I will never forget."
Fili finally fell forward, falling to his knees in front of his brother. The rain still pounded around them, but nobody noticed it any longer. He pulled Kili close, locking his arms around him as Kili broke. Long gasping sobs falling from the shaking prince as he choked out over and over "She is gone Fi. She is gone." Fili looked around, the company looked devastated. The rain may have made it difficult to tell the difference between tears and the falling droplets of water, but he could see the misting eyes of all around them. Thorin's eyes closed tight. Kili lost his wife. Fili lost his sister. Thorin lost his daughter.
Bilbo made the mistake of stepping forward, forgetting of the slippery surface and fell falling over the edge. Bofur falling to the ledge to try and grab the hobbit before he too was lost. The others were alerted to the fallen companion, Thorin and Dwalin turning from the brothers and moving to help. They watched as Bilbo slipped from the rock, falling a few feet further down. Thorin was not going to lose another today, he had already lost more than he could bare. He jumped down and reached to grab Bilbo, Dwalin holding fast to Thorin as the company worked to pull the struggling hobbit up and securing him against the wall.
"We almost lost ya lad." Bofur huffed out.
"He's been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us." The pain of loss lacing Thorin's voice as he walked back to his nephews still on the ground. He did not know what to do. They needed to find shelter; they would get nowhere tonight. Looking around, he spotted a crevice in the wall behind him. Calling the company over, they pushed through the entrance and entered a dry cavern.
"Search the back. Caves in the mountain are seldom unoccupied."
Kili felt cold, despite being held by his brother. Everything was wrong. Why had he let them get separated, why had Mahal let this happen. She had given everything to him, given up everything. Her home, her life, her immortality, her love. He felt himself be lifted to his feet and guided forward. Fili not removing his hands from him as he supported all of Kili's dead weight.
Kili felt trapped in his own mind. The only place he could see his red-haired elven one. Even as he tried to grasp her features in his mind's eye, they were falling away from him. He promised her he would go on, but he did not know how.
Fili watched helplessly as he leaned his unresponsive brother against the wall. Oin was saying it was shock causing Kili to be practically catatonic. He sat beside his brother, beginning his silent vigil. He could almost see Tauriel coming to sit gracefully beside Kili, whispering something which would cause Kili to laugh or shrug unrepentantly. Now the place beside Kili sat empty. Void of life. Much like the look in Kili's eyes when he kneeled before him.
Fili watched Thorin barking orders. His way of grieving; shut everyone and everything out. Fili could not afford to take such liberties. His brother needed him and beside his brother he would stay. The night wore on, and Fili listened to the sky outside, still weeping great heaps of rain, as droplets fell from his own eyes. Nothing will ever be right again.
PLEASE READ…PART TWO: Do NOT hate me. I promise…just keep reading. If you heeded my warning…go ahead and go on to the next chapter. If you did not heed my warning and are now angry because you read…you chose your path…you know what you did. Now you must suffer knowing you have to wait a day. I would also like to formally apologize to Kili…hang in there. Have faith in me. See you tomorrow night with chapter Twenty-one!