Chapter 10: Parlay?
The moment the duo sprinted onto the beach, the sound of a massive explosion pierced through the jungle. Dakota instinctively threw himself on top of Mindy as the island shook from the impact. They snapped their eyes shut in dread and clung to each other as they waited for it to pass.
Once everything was calm, they detangled themselves and sat up on the shore.
"Don't worry." Mindy assured him as she brushed the sand out of her face, "That explosion means that the bomb went off, and Peter will be coming to rescue the kids at any minute."
"Are you so sure about that?"
"Hey, you're talking to the self-proclaimed Queen of Disney Trivia." She brushed her knuckles against her collar, "I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about when it comes to-"
-She was cut off by an urgent clanging of bells.
They snapped their heads forwards as Tinkerbell swooped out of the dense greenery and landed in Dakota's cupped hands. She then went into a long-winded explanation that went in-and-out of Mindy's earholes.
"Woah, slow down there kiddo!" Dakota giggled, "I can't understand a word you're saying…please take a breath, and start again."
The fairy did as she was told before slowing her speech.
"What's she saying?" Mindy whispered.
"She says that Peter is…" He started, but trailed off when Tinkerbell started to mimic the red-headed trickster soaring towards the ship, but then she stumbled and collapsed onto the ground. She tried to take off again, but some unknown force was keeping her down. She waved at someone to go on without her, and proceeded to sprint across the sand. She then flew upwards and did a salute before zipping ahead, "…Unavailable at the moment, and that he's counting on us to rescue the kids."
"Well that's just perfect!" She tugged on the strands of her hair as she started to panic, "We've screwed up yet another plot point in the movie! How're we supposed to fix this without drawing attention to ourselves?!"
"It'll be okay, we'll-we'll figure something out."
"Oh yeah that's so reassuring!" Mindy burst, "Let me get this straight, he expects us! Us! Two adults who still have no idea how to apply for a job, register to vote, or change a tire to somehow inexplicably take down an entire pirate fleet?!"
"What's so improbable about that?"
"Literally everything I just said." Mindy rubbed her temples before taking in a breath and straightening up her posture, "Alright! If we're gonna do this, we need to pull out all the stops! No more improvising and blindly hoping that everything'll work out at the end of the day! We need a real, cohesive, well-thought-out plan! Now, does anybody anybody have any ideas?!"
Tinkerbell and Dakota blinked…
"That's it then?" She let out a humorless laugh in response, much to the bewilderment of the two characters, "Hahahaha great! We're doomed! Doomed! Sayonara, adios, hasta la vista, arrivederci, Auf Wiedersehen, adieu, gesundheit, buh bye, and all the other languages in between you cruel, cruel world!" Mindy started to pace across the beach, "I can't say that I'm surprised though! It's kind of going around full circle for me! It's been my favorite Disney movie since I was a kid, and I couldn't think of a more fitting way to go out honestly-"
As she resumed her rant, Dakota noticed a flicker of moment in the corner of his eye… "Um, Mindy?"
"-Will it be a quick death? What am I saying? It doesn't matter cause we're still doomed regardless!"
"Mindy?"
"Will we walk the plank? But we're from Florida, we're natural swimmers…"
"Mindy?"
"…unless, they tie our hands behind her back." She gasped as a sudden thought came to her, "Oh God! Would we have to swim mermaid-style in order to survive?! Because if that's the case, I'm definitely gonna drown cause I have no coordination in terms of-"
"-Mindy!"
"What is it Dakota?!"
"Sorry to interrupt, but we've got company!" He pointed a trembling finger towards the ocean.
Puzzled, she followed his gaze… and her body grew stiff with terror.
A green scaly tail was sticking straight out of the water; flicking back-and-forth in a stiff unchanging rhythm. Simultaneously, they shrieked upon seeing a pointed snout emerge from the bubbling depths along with two piercing yellowy eyes, and an all-too-familiar toothy grin.
It was Tick Tock the crocodile.
Without even thinking, Mindy leapt in front of Dakota. She fumbled to withdraw the sword from the scabbard around her waist, and nearly dropped it while trying to point it towards the hungry reptile. Her mouth twisted into a scowl, even though her eyes were panic-stricken and desperate.
"Now you stay back you…you son of a Stitch!"
Not one of my best one-liners, but it was still better than what I was originally gonna say so it's got that going for it.
To their surprise, the croc didn't snap its jaws like they had expected it to… Instead, he frowned and tilted his head in puzzlement. The pair took a couple of steps backwards as the crocodile slunk out of the water and onto the beach.
Mindy's arms trembled as she lifted the weapon higher. "Don't come any closer!"
Her eyes grew ten times their size as he dipped his head at her in greeting. A tidal wave of Déjà vu washed over her the moment the beast bowed, and she was so taken aback that she almost lost her grip on the sword again. She then searched his eyes for any sign of trickery, but ultimately found none.
Does…does he somehow know who I am too?
Mindy hesitated before lowering her weapon, and putting it back in its scabbard. She ignored Dakota's shrill: "Are you crazy?!" as she stepped towards the reptilian and curtsied in return.
This caused Tick Tock to show off all of his pointy teeth.
Mindy couldn't help but smile back at him.
It was odd… Ever since she was a little girl, she'd always held on to the belief that you were never supposed to smile at a crocodile. However, this one was different. She didn't see a dangerous man-eating carnivore… instead she saw a tame animated creature.
Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he tapped his snout against the palm of her hand.
"Ummm….alrighty then?" Mindy chuckled a bit and started to scratch him affectionately, "You're just an expert on invading personal space aren't you?"
The croc didn't answer and instead leaned into her touch with what almost sounded like a purr.
"Awwww…" She giggled, "Move over Baby Yoda, cause we've got a new contender for cutest Disney character to ever exist."
Dakota pointed at the scene with a slack-jawed expression as he leaned in to address Tinkerbell, "Are-are you seeing what I'm seeing?"
The fairy nodded enthusiastically in response.
"Can you believe it?" Mindy gushed. "He's not a killing machine… he's nothing but a thousand pound teddy bear!"
"Why do you suppose he's acting so… docile?" Dakota inquired as he treaded closer.
"I dunno… I think maybe it's because of what Uncle Walt once said concerning our resident Disney villain."
He cocked a brow, "What did he say?"
"The audience will grow to like Hook, and they don't want to see him killed." She quoted before aiming a side-eye towards The Jolly Rodger. "I guess he didn't account for the select few who didn't grow to like him. Anyhow, that means that Ticky here will be stuck chasing him for all eternity, and that he doesn't care about the smaller game like us."
Dakota blinked, "Ticky?"
"That's his name." Mindy worked her way down his back which caused his leg to shake like a dog's. "Tick Tock Croc… wow, when we get back home I really need to put in more effort in teaching you the ropes of Disney trivia."
"No thank you!" He shook his head so hard that his glasses almost fell off. "I wouldn't want to steal your crown!"
She didn't even bother to roll her eyes this time, and continued to scratch the crocodile's neck. As she did, a metaphorical lightbulb illuminated over her head…"Hey… Ticky, do you mind doing us a favor?"
The croc nodded eagerly.
The gears in Mindy's head were whizzing as the skeleton of an idea started to take shape. "I need you to listen very carefully, okay?"
"OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH! I AM RIDING ON TOP OF A FREAKING CROCODILE!"Dakota hooted as they zoomed to the Jolly Rodger, "I feel like this is an important rite of passage in that I've officially become a true Florida Man! I can go ahead and cross that off the bucket list!"
Mindy cupped a hand over her mouth to prevent the bile rising in her throat. "Seriously? This was on your bucket list?!"
While it was true that Dakota was embracing the butterflies in his stomach, she was not holding up too well at all. She clung to Tick Tock's scaly neck for dear life as he speeded out into the open sea. She felt less like a majestic hero riding her noble steed into battle, and more like a seasick girl struggling to keep her balance on her thousand pound crocodile.
Water constantly splashed her in all directions, and the wind blasted into her face at supersonic speed; making it nearly impossible to sneak a breath in. Despite the uneasy feeling in her gut, Mindy kept her head up. She narrowed her eyes as the ship grew closer and closer in her line of sight.
When they were within a few yards of it, she rubbed Tick Tock's neck. "Slow down a bit please."
Her crocodilian companion complied, and slunk around the vessel to get to starboard.
"And now, which will it be?" They heard an all-too-familiar voice emanating from above them. "The pen…or the plank?"
"Captain Hook." A softer one replied. "We will never join your crew."
"As you wish… ladies first me dear."
Mindy urged the croc forward so that they were closer to the edge of the plank. "As soon as I catch her, draw back as fast as you can."
Tick Tock nodded in understanding before getting ready to dart out. As Wendy said her goodbyes to her brothers and the Lost Boys, Mindy closed her eyes as she counted silently in her head.
Five…four…three…two-
"-Wendy! Wendy!"
From there, everything was a blur… Once she had stepped off of the plank, Tick Tock rushed forward, and Mindy held her arms out. She prayed to God that she wouldn't accidently screw this up. If things went off without a hitch, she would catch her without making a single sound…
Mindy stumbled a bit, but she managed to successfully catch the Darling girl.
As soon as she did, she mouthed: "Go, go, go." and Tick Tock scrambled back underneath the plank. Wendy was prepared to screech at the top of her lungs from being on top of a full-grown crocodile, but Mindy slapped her hand over her mouth, and pointed upwards before she had the chance.
"Captain? No splash."
"Not a sound!"
Mindy bit her lip as the pirates leaned over the edge to search for any sign of life. As they murmured in hushed voices about how the ship was cursed, she glanced down only to come face-to-face with a pair of furious cerulean eyes. The sight alarmed her so much that she accidently dropped her onto the scaly back with a yelp. Wendy made a noise of outrage. She muttered something incoherent before fixing her nightgown and glancing up at her rescuer.
"What are you doing here?" Wendy hissed.
Mindy's brows shot up, "Um…rescuing you guys?"
"Where's Peter?"
"He's out of commission at the moment, but he sent for my associate and me to do his bidding."
Dakota poked his head out from behind her, and waved with a cheerful: "Hi!"
Wendy didn't acknowledge him though, "Why should I believe you after what you did?"
Mindy blinked… "Sorry, but I'm not following."
Wendy released a groan, "He stormed into the hideout, went inside of his room, and absolutely refused to come out. It was decided that I should be the one to go in and talk to him. He then proceeded to tell me about the complicated history between the two of you, and how you had the audacity to return after forgetting all about him! I cannot believe that you chose to abandon him and purge him from your memories! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"
"Ohoho you wanna talk about abandonment?!" She shot back. "Didn't you have to break the news to him that you and your siblings have to go back home to London?"
Wendy's complexion went stark white. "How did-"
"-Doesn't matter!" Mindy cut her off. "I'm willing to bet that he didn't take it well in the slightest. My point is that you're a total hypocrite, and I'm not the only one who's at fault! Besides, how am I even supposed to begin to make amends with him if he refuses to discuss anything with me?!"
"Now listen here you pompous-"
"-I'LL GIVE YOU A SPLASH!"
Wendy shrieked in the middle of her sentence as Gentleman Starkey plummeted into his watery grave.
"And…that's our cue." Mindy surprised herself with how nonchalant she sounded, "This was an insightful conversation, and we should do this again sometime!"
Before Wendy could answer, the girl clambered onto the railing, put two fingers to her mouth, and whistled at the top of her lungs…Or at least, she tried to anyway.
However, the action hardly seemed necessary as she managed to gain their attention solely from her ridiculously pursed lips and the pathetic raspberry that sprayed out of them. When she eventually noticed everyone staring wide-eyed at her, Mindy cursed under her breath, straightened her glasses, and offered an awkward wave.
"Hehe…uh, morning gents…or is it late afternoon?" She rubbed the back of her neck as she pondered the question, "Early evening? I don't know, the timeline of this movie always confused me. Although in hindsight, I guess that-"
-She wasn't able to finish sharing as the buccaneers unsheathed their swords and pointed them at her neck with menacing growls.
"Woah, woah, woah!" Mindy immediately threw her arms in the air, "I come in peace! I-I enact the rule of parlay! Now, can everyone PLEASE take a couple of steps backward, and a few deep cleansing breaths?!"
The pirates glanced over at their captain who nodded in approval, "Well? You heard the lady!"
A bit confused (but not wanting to disobey his orders) the crew put their weapons back in their scabbards, and backed away from the railing.
Hook then turned back to the girl and twirled his greasy mustache with a fiendish smile, "Now, look who came crawling back? And after you went through such trouble to separate yourself from our company no doubt."
Mindy hopped onto the deck, "Har, har look, I'm gonna cut right to the chase. By the time I leave this ship, you're going to have done two things for me. First, you're gonna let the kids go, and you're gonna tell me everything about my forgotten past."
"Is that so?" He inquired as his eyes twinkled in amusement, "Those are some high demands…and ahem, might I be so bold to ask how you will convince me to do such trivial things?"
"Ha!" She put on a smirk that Peter Pan himself would be proud of, "That's hilarious how you assume that I didn't think about this beforehand! Oh Tinkerbell! Could you help me out here for a second?! Please and thank you!" The fairy zipped down from the rafters and hovered before the pirates with her arms crossed. At that moment, Dakota heaved himself over the railing and rested his elbow on Mindy's head (much to her annoyance), "Long story short, if you don't give in to our demands, then we're gonna raise Tinker hell on this bitch."
"Oh good Heavens! Whatever shall we do?!" Hook put the back of his remaining hand over his forehead as he feigned a look of distress, "A delusional girl, an airheaded doofus, and their fairy wench are going to save the day! Run for your lives!"
The rest of the sycophants mimicked their captain with mocking jeers, kissy noises, and ghostly wails. As the taunts transitioned into boisterous rounds of laughter, Mindy, Dakota, and Tinkerbell exchanged deadpanned stares amongst themselves.
When they eventually had to wheeze for air, Mindy cleared her throat, "Ha, ha, you're such comedians…and as adorable as it is that you're choosing to underestimate Mediocrity at its Finest (that's what I've decided the name of this little group is just now don't look at me like that, it was clever and you're too proud to admit it), I regret to inform you that we have a secret weapon that is called Crocodylus Porosus, or as you know him, the crocodile."
She noticed the villain flinch at the mention of the beast who was the horror of his every waking moment, but he regained his wicked disposition, and made quick strides towards her. Mindy stayed rooted to her spot, and refused to break eye-contact even as he leaned in close to hiss in a monstrously low whisper: "You'rea terrible liar."
"In any other circumstances, I would've agreed with you." She admitted, "But I'm actually telling the truth this time. If you don't believe me, look over the railing and see for yourself."
Captain Hook peeked overboard and released a strangled yelp upon seeing the crocodile licking his chops from down below. To add insult to injury, Wendy Darling was very much alive as evidence from the triumphant smile on her face. She even waved at him from her position atop the creature.
He then turned back to the all-too-satisfied girl on deck and took in short, staggering breaths as his eyes widened in terror. "SMEEEEEE!"
"There, there now Cap'n!" The first mate waddled forward and patted him comfortingly on the back, "As long as you're up here, no harm'll come to ya."
"Oh, see that's where you're wrong buckaroo." Dakota piped up, "All it takes is faith, trust, and a liiiiitle bit of pixie dust from our girl Tink, and ol' Tick Tock will be on the deck of this ship faster than you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidonkus!"
"It's docious."
"What did I say?"
"Nevermind." Mindy shifted her gaze back to Hook right as Tinkerbell thrusted her hands outward and began the process of levitating the crocodile so that it was positioned directly above the deck, "So, what's it gonna be Captain Codfish?"
The expression on Hook's countenance was almost impossible to read.
Mindy couldn't say that she was surprised though. He'd been doing this a lot longer than she had so of course his poker face was more convincing than her own. Less than two seconds later, her I've-got-everything-is-under-control mask started to crack. Traces of doubt were apparent in her crinkled brows, the sweat beading off her forehead, and the way her lips twitched from struggling to maintain her smirk.
Please, please, please, please, PLEASE believe that we know what we're doing.
When the suspense had reached its peak, Captain Hook slow clapped. "Bravo Miss Singh…bravo indeed."
His sudden praise put her on edge, "Thanks."
"That was such a clever little trick you had up your sleeve." Both Mindy and Dakota backed up against the railing as Hook stalked towards them, "I never would've suspected you to have a deceptive bone in your body…but you're forgetting one simple thing." Dakota let out a squeak of fear as the captain grabbed him by the arm, drew him into his chest, and placed his hook over his throat, "Every bone in my body is a deceptive one!" Mindy instinctively sprung forward when the tip drew closer to a vein bulging from Dakota's neck, "Ah, ah, ah, not another step or he's gutted like a fish!"
"Okay, okay, I'm not doing anything!" She tossed her arms up as a panicked expression formed on her face, "Let's just calm down before we do something we regret!"
"Call off the beast!"
Mindy narrowed her eyes in response, "Not until you let him go."
"I'll consider your terms after you've call off the beast!"
"I'll consider your terms after you've let him go!"
When it was clear that neither of them would be the first to stand down, Hook released a withering sigh…"It appears that we are at an impasse."
Mindy wasn't sure what that meant, but she bobbed her head up-and-down in agreement.
"How do you suppose we remedy this?"
She pursed her lips together in thought for a moment, "What if we have ourselves a good old-fashioned knife fight? One-on-one? Man-to-man? Technically man-to-woman but-"
-Hook's…laugh? Scream? Snarl? Some odd combination of the three? She wasn't sure what it was. All she knew was that it was such a foreign (nearly animalistic) sound that it genuinely caught her off-guard.
"Mind telling me what's so… funny?" Mindy settled on the former, "Seriously, I'm a big fan of inside jokes and if you're laughing, I want in. Especially if it involves me-which, I'm ninety-eight percent sure it does."
"Forgive me!" She gaped at how unexpectedly high-pitched his voice had become, "It's-it's just too amusing! You, a mere girl who doesn't know your grip from your false edge wishes to engage in a swashbuckling duel with the boldest, most brilliant buccaneer to ever sail the briny blue!"
Mindy let out a dry chuckle as she withdrew the rapier from her scabbard, "Well, if I'm such an inexperienced swordswoman, then why do I have my own sword WITH my own mantra on it?"
She was quick to notice Hook grimace upon seeing it, and she allowed herself to smirk. When he caught the look on her face, he immediately cleared his throat and regained his composure, "That antique is not your sword."
"If that's the case, then why are you so afraid of it?"
He snorted, "I was right about you being delusional."
"So then why are you looking for an excuse to not fight me if you're not scared?" Mindy gasped as a thought popped into her head, and her smirk widened tenfold, "Is it because you don't think you'll be able to handle it?"
"Reverse psychology." Hook tutted in disappointment, "I'd have thought you'd try harder than that to convince me than to stoop to such tactics…but, I'm in a generous mood since I've officially gotten rid of my arch nemesis once and for all so I'll indulge you for now."
His crew collectively groaned in frustration: "Isn't it enough that we blasted that bloke from the bloody island?!" "Yeah! Now we have to deal with this wretch too?!" "We didn't sign up for this!" "When are we getting back to sea?!" "WE WANT TO PILAGE AND PLUNDER!"
BANG!
An aimless shot from Hook's flintlock caused Mindy's breath to hitch in her throat. Dakota snapped his eyes shut as an ear-piercing shriek peeled out of Wendy's mouth. The rest of the children stared in horror as the captain blew the smoke off the barrel.
"Anyone else have any objections?" Hook asked in a low tone.
His question was met with an uncomfortable silence…
"I thought not." He then turned his attention back to a stunned Mindy, "Now, what are your demands if you're somehow miraculously able to win our little wager?"
She gulped, "Yeah…right… anyway! If I win, you have to let everybody go (and to set the record straight, when I say "Let everybody go." I don't mean do so by making them walk the plank) and-AND you have to tell me everything about what happened the first time I got here… What I was like… who I am…all that jazz."
"And if I win?"
Mindy blinked, "I don't know, I haven't thought that far ahead yet."
"Well I have a proposition." Hook's eyes narrowed as a devilish smile danced across his lips, "If I win I follow through with my original plan, and you and your little boyfriend will be sent straight to The Projectionist."
A few gasps resounded from both The Pirates and the Lost Boys, but Mindy was too busy nodding in agreement to hear them. "Deal…now, I'll have Tinkerbell lower the croc back into the water only if you let my NOT boyfriend go at the same time (again, not via plank)."
"As you wish princess."
"Okay seriously, can you stop calling me that? I've been silent up till this point but I mean it was tolerable the first couple of times, but now it's just getting annoying. So stop, just-just stop… it's weird, and it makes me uncomfortable."
"You're the one who said that you wanted to remember who you were. Be grateful that I decided to give you a hint before this challenge even started."
"See this is why no one likes you, you human equivalent of an unfrosted pop tart."
Dakota wheezed, "Sorry, sorry, I know that given the current circumstances I shouldn't laugh but how are you coming up with these on the spot?! Hahaha-ouch!"
He winced in discomfort as the hook brushed against his collarbone, "My patience is running thin…call off the beast!"
Mindy glanced up at Tinkerbell and nodded.
The fairy hesitated before beginning the process of lowering the crocodile into the ocean. As she did this, Wendy gracefully slid off of Tick Tock's back and plopped onto the main deck at Mindy's side. At the same time, the captain released Dakota, and practically shoved him towards the little group.
"Are you okay?" Mindy asked.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fit as a fiddle and ready for love hey." Dakota pulled her away from the prying eyes of the pirates, "Can I talk to you for a second? Thaaaaaaaaaaaanks, what are you doing?"
"As per usual, I have no idea!" She burst, "But I was kind of forced to improvise because I wasn't counting on our original plan not working! This was the best that I could come up with!"
"But you have no idea how to swordfight! Scratch that, you don't know how to fight in general!" He started twiddling his hands as the panic started to bubble to the surface, "I don't want to be the debby downer of the bunch, but things aren't looking good! What happens if you fail?! We don't even know who or what The Projectionist is, and on top of that the kids'll be sent overboard and-"
"-I'm-I'm sorry! I didn't think that through! But as I mentioned before, I'm sort of making this up as I go!"Mindy pinched the bridge as the stakes of this fight donned upon her, "Dakota, there's a reason why I have my own sword and why Hook is so skittish just looking at the thing…I want to know why. I'm tired of waiting around for someone to give me answers…it's time that I take them for myself."
Dakota looked like he wanted to protest, but ultimately sighed in defeat and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Be careful."
"I'll do my best."
Sucking in a deep breath, Mindy returned to face Captain Hook as she got into an amateur fighting stance, "Alright let's dance! That didn't sound as badass as I thought it would, but it's whatever I guess!"
"Not so fast." He snapped as he lifted her chin with the tip of his sword, "First, some ground rules must be in order! No outside interference of any kind, every time I'm able to strike you, one of the children will walk the plank and your time to be sent to a fate worse than death shortens."
"Okay." In an instant, she unsheathed her own weapon and knocked his to the side, "But that means that every time I land a hit, you have to let one of them go (Again, I cannot stress this enough! Not via plank!) Ahem, and-and reveal one aspect of my past."
Hook chuckled darkly, "Fair enough…En garde!"
Nothing could have prepared Mindy for what came next.
She released a frightened squeal as he lunged towards her. In a panic, she threw her weapon over her head and was barely able to keep her skull from being split open. At least she knew one thing was for certain… Hook wasn't intending on going easy on her just because she was a girl.
Oh Mindy, Mindy, Mindy….what have we gotten ourselves into?