That evening Gretchen again left her quarters to help Seven.
She sat on storage unit, swinging her legs in silence as she read more data charts of the Hansen's three years observing the Borg.
"Completely foolish," said Seven intensely, suddenly breaking the long silence, "Arrogant. Starfleet warned them, and yet they entered the Delta Quadrant alone, tracking an extremely dangerous alien race, with no regard to their own lives, or that of their child."
"I agree," said Gretchen.
"You do?" questioned Seven, turning in Gretchen's direction, "Everyone seems to think my parents were admirable explorers. It is disconcerting."
"I'm sure they had good intentions, but that's not enough. You have every right to be angry," said Gretchen evenly.
"I do not understand my….feelings...on the subject….They caused me to be raised as Borg….and yet I feel….drawn to their logs. It is illogical." Seven paused for a long moment, and they both looked back at her work.
"Are you angry with your parents?" the former drone asked suddenly, looking up and pulling her hands behind her, "You grew up in the Delta Quadrant as well, far away from Earth, your species' homeworld. Resources and opportunities were presumably limited on future Voyager. You faced many hardships. And now you have the burden of returning to the past alone and fixing your parents' mistakes."
Gretchen looked at Seven for a long moment.
"I'm not angry I was born on Voyager," said Gretchen evenly, "Besides, I'm sure if I had already existed I would've been left on Earth rather than taken on a starship to unknown space. My parents wouldn't have done to me what yours did. I don't have your right to be angry."
"You are bypassing the question," said Seven, raising an eyebrow, "The exact details are irrelevant, I wish to know if you are angry with your parents for their choices."
"Seven….."
"Our situations are not dissimilar. It is not irrelevant to me," insisted Seven heatedly.
Gretchen starred at her, and then looked away, lip spazzing, "I was very close to my father. I don't resent him at all for his choices. I'm sure he wishes things turned out better, that he could've gotten me home, but he gave me a great childhood," she said, smiling sadly, "I wouldn't take being born on Voyager back, even if I could. If things had ended for me….in those last moments before the time jump…..I wouldn't have any regrets."
"And your mother?"
Gretchen made eye contact with Seven briefly, and then looked away lip spazzing again, "I've always admired my mother."
"That was not my inquiry."
Gretchen sighed, looking back at Seven, who was looking at her intently. Gretchen's lip quirked, "I got most of my best traits from her, whether she likes it or not…."
Gretchen paused, hands clenching and unclenching, looking past Seven distantly, "I remember science lessons, Starfleet training, conversations half finished, leaving the room when important things happened…..Her sitting in our quarters reading a datapad, and another datapad,…and another datapad….. Her randomly showing up for 10 minutes in three days, asking me the most annoying questions imaginable." Gretchen shook her head, wavering voice becoming firm, "She did her best, I know that. But she didn't want me. I know that too."
Gretchen breathed in deeply, hopping off the crate and looking at Seven, "I would've thought, like you, that those feelings would cancel each other out, but they never have."
"The best I can offer," she said to Seven intently, "Is that I think you're a valuable individual, one that should've had a childhood."
"I….thank you," said Seven formally, nodding.
Gretchen stumbled back to her quarters at noon, having pulled an all-nighter looking at the Hansen's logs again. She dived face down on her bed and closed her eyes, everything fading away and then a voice, "I didn't expect you to not notice me,"
Gretchen jerked up suddenly, eyes going wide, as she saw Captain Janeway, without her command jacket, standing in her sitting room, holding a cup of coffee and looking slightly amused.
The older woman shrugged one shoulder, "You've pulled this on me a couple of times, I thought I'd give it a try."
Gretchen shook her head to clear it and sat up, looking at Janeway cautiously.
"Come here," said Janeway, gesturing with her head from the doorway and then disappearing from view into the sitting room.
Gretchen raised and followed, sitting across from Janeway who was on her couch.
Janeway was silent as she crossed her legs, sipped her coffee, and looked out Gretchen's small window.
Neither of them spoke and the moment dragged on, Gretchen quite aware that the Captain could throw her back in the cell at any moment, and trying not to dread it. She was looking down and clenching her hands at her sides when Janeway spoke again, "I've decided to trust you."
"What?" she said, head snapping up.
"I've decided to trust you," Janeway repeated, voice professional but face kind, "You're no longer confined to Quarters. You have run of the ship again and can see who you want. You'll be returning to duty, helping run simulations for the Borg theft…..And you're on the Away Team."
Gretchen starred at her, eyes shining, and she blinked repeatedly and then nodded.
"You look far too happy about being assigned to a dangerous Borg mission," said Tom, eyeing Gretchen cautiously, as the two of them took a turbolift down to the holodeck late that evening to join the simulation group, "They're not known for being fun."
"Oh, it's not just the mission," said Gretchen smiling, as she faced forward, "Something good happened today,"
"Something with the Captain?"
"Part of it,"
"Good, I'm happy for you," he said, looking at Gretchen and smiling genuinely.
Gretchen looked at his face and breathed in deeply, breath catching. TomTom
"Guess, we shouldn't keep Harry waiting. His part on this mission is way harder than mine. And I hope yours," said Tom easily, "If everything goes well this is a simple on the ground mission. That is, if everything goes well."
"I think it will," said Gretchen, smiling again, looking forward.
The turbolift doors opened and Tom caught her arm as soon as she stepped off the turbolift. He looked around and saw no one, and turned to Gretchen seriously.
"Hey, we all know you have something planned. Something you can't tell us, Temporal Prime Directive and all. And that's great...we can use your help. But don't do anything too crazy. We'll get home one way or another. But there's only one Gretchen. Harry and I would miss you.""
Gretchen looked him in the eye, blinking, and then smiled, "Nothing crazy I promise. This is the best plan I've ever come up with."
"Well, you are related to the Captain," said Tom easily, letting her arm go, "And she is known for her crazy plans. But at least she has the ship backing her up."
Gretchen's eyes widened, "What?" she said shaking her head to clear it and speaking more evenly, "I do have backup," she said looking forward and starting to walk.
Tom followed and held both of his hands up, "Alright, alright, all I'm saying is," he added persuasively, "Is we've got lots more things to do together. Chez Sandrine's for one. I bet you'd be great at pool. When things get to be too much, we're here for you. Janeway's great and all, but usually it's your friends that really know you."
"I know," said Gretchen kindly, face forward. TomTom, Harry, I love you both, but there's only one person on this ship that really knows me.
The holodeck doors opened, revealing the Bridge of Voyager.
Chakotay was in the command chair and smiled at Gretchen as she entered. Harry waved briefly to Tom and Gretchen from the communications station. Another ensign was at the security console. Janeway, Tuvok, and Seven were standing in the corner of the Bridge, and Gretchen moved to join them. Tom headed towards the pilot seat.
"We're ready to get started," said Janeway commandingly, "Gretchen and Tuvok you'll be in charge of setting explosive charges that will partially disrupt their shields. As before, Seven and I will make it to the transwarp coil, unlock it, and mark it to be beamed out. Then we'll meet back at the transportation site."
Janeway looked at her crew and received nods, "The goal is two minutes, not a moment longer, let's begin."
"If we're trying to make the best time, couldn't we just, you know, run?" said Gretchen to Tuvok as they strolled through the simulated Borg ship corridors.
"That is inadvisable, running would increase Borg interest in us, a classic predator response."
After about a minute, they made it to the shield matrix.
"Spacial charges, here, there, and there," said Tuvok, pointing, then covering her with a rifle in case the drones attacked.
The cybernetic workers continued to ignore them as Gretchen placed the round charges and set them to blast.
"Done," said Gretchen, about 15 seconds later, and they both strolled quickly away.
They made it to the transportation site before Janeway, who was followed a few seconds later by Seven.
"Beam us up, Mr. Kim."
The four of them materialized on "Voyager's Bridge" to see Harry Kim shaking his head.
"I'm sorry, Captain, no transwarp coil. The drones must have removed the marker. I can't lock onto anything."
"Ideas?" said Janeway, turning to her staff.
"It is possible," said Tuvok, "That a dilithium crystal could be used as a marker, rather than a traditional Starfleet energy enhancer. Perhaps the Borg would not recognize this as alien technology."
"Seven," said the Captain, turning to her, "What do you think?"
The Borg, who had been looking away, looked at Janeway, "About what?"
"Tuvok's idea. Would the Borg catch on to that?"
Seven breathed in deeply and looked at Tuvok, "Catch on to what?"
"Using dilithium crystals, instead of Federation technology to mark the transwarp coils."
"Oh," said Seven, turning back to the Captain, "I believe I could alter dilithium crystals for that purpose.
"Do it," said Janeway, nodding her head, "Change the simulation as quickly as you can. Then let's run this again."
They had run simulations until midnight, when Janeway had called an end to the day, and had planned on catching Seven to speak with her, but the former Borg drone had hightailed it out the door while her back was turned. The rest of her crew filed out, but as she sighed and turned around, she saw Chakotay was still sitting in the command chair.
Janeway moved to the first officer chair next to him, and slumped into the seat, "Twelve seconds Chakotay, twelve seconds, that's all that separates us from being 20 years closer to home."
"We still have several days," said Chakotay calmly, "We'll think of something."
Janeway made a sound in her throat, resting her head on one hand.
Chakotay looked towards her kindly, "Why do I have a feeling that's not what's bothering you? Not the main thing, anyway."
"I expected Gretchen to be a problem on this mission," said Kathryn, still facing forward, "I was completely prepared for that. Every time we talk it ends in some kind of clash. And she used to be Captain, so maybe she doesn't like taking orders. Granted, I still don't know what she's trying to change, and we'll keep monitoring her. But no," said Janeway, raising a finger up dramatically, looking at Chakotay with exhaustion, "With other people around she's efficient, perfectly poised, no back talk, no hesitation."
Chakotay smiled in amusement.
"And now it's Seven," said Janeway, rubbing her forehead, "I did not expect her to be the problem on this mission."
Chakotay's face grew serious, "The last time she was on a Borg ship, she was a drone. And looking at those logs is bound to bring memories back. Memories that have been suppressed for a long time."
Janeway rubbed her forehead again, leaning more into the arm that was facing Chakotay. She looked at the viewscreen and spoke quietly, "If I'd known what those logs would do to her, I never would have asked her to read them."
"She'd have to face them eventually,"
"Yes, but on her own time," said Janeway, "I thought she needed a push, but I was wrong. And now I'll probably have to take her off the mission. If only I'd realized that before I put Gretchen on, at least I'd have a ready excuse. Seven doesn't have future knowledge, and she and Gretchen get along. I'll have to replace her with B'Elanna now, and they don't like each other. It'll only add insult to injury."
"She'll be alright," said Chakotay, "She can run security from this end. That's an important job, and no one is as qualified as Seven to do it when we're facing the Borg. I'd never expect her to say it, but in this case, maybe she'll be pleased to have an out."
"Maybe," said Janeway, sighing.
Kathryn saw movement out of her peripheral vision, and realized Chakotay had stretched out his hand to her. She raised her head off her hand, and stretched out her arm, wrapping her slim fingers around his strong ones as he smiled.
The next three days passed by with more simulations and preparations for the Borg Sphere attack. Gretchen had been a model Starfleet officer. B'Elanna had been monitoring her activities very closely, but there were no security erasures, no tampering with the transporters or the weapons, no sign of her using even one replicator ration. Harry and Tom had reported that she was busy, but seemed much happier.
Maybe what she wanted to fix was simple, but hands on. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be so lucky. Somehow Janeway couldn't believe that.