Best Laid Plans Heather Burkett
Chapter 21: Piece De Resistance
Shortly after my confession, Edward passed out on the couch, ending any further conversation on the matter. I was somewhat glad, uncomfortable with not knowing where the discussion might lead.
I awoke the next morning to find the sofa vacant, a handwritten note left for me on the back of a discarded envelope advising me that he had gone to his early morning lecture.
I found myself relieved by his absence – I needed time to think.
What should I do?
"No." I spoke out loud, shaking my head.
I knew what I should do.
I should let Edward go, both professionally and romantically, to give him the time and space he needed to get over his little wayward crush on me. To let him move on to someone who would be more suitable for him.
But just as I had selfishly chosen my business over my marriage, I knew instantly that I couldn't walk away from him.
I sighed.
So, I knew what I should do and, conversely, what I would do, but then what?
Where do we go from here?
Edward wanted answers and, quite frankly, I had none.
I honestly have no idea what I'm doing here.
When Edward called my cell at noon, I still hadn't found a clue.
"Hey." He answered shyly.
"Hey."
"I'm sorry for the way I barged in last night...and for passing out on the couch." He mumbled, ashamed.
"Look, Edward...age may not mean a thing to you, but it does to me. I need you to understand that, I can't just get over it because you say it's okay."
"You're right. I get it." He mulled it over for a second. "Look, I'd like to take you on a date. Let me make up for last night and prove my maturity to you." He sounded hopeful.
I'd been married. I'd had a child. I'd been divorced.
But I'd never been on an official "date".
Things with Jacob had just evolved. From friendship, we'd started a relationship, sort of skipping over the dating phase.
My heart flittered about in my chest. "What do you have in mind?" I asked, curious.
"Let me surprise you. I'll come get you. We'll dress up; the whole nine yards, Bella." He said excitedly.
I giggled, once again feeling joyfully pre-pubescent.
"When?"
"How about Friday night. I'll pick you up around six?" He offered.
"Hmmm, I don't know. I'm awfully busy." I hedged playfully, playing hard to get.
He chuckled. "Then when would you be available?"
I was suddenly struck by the notion that others would see us together; would see the way we look at one another and the subtle touches.
"How about Wednesday night?" I asked, assuming the scene would be less crowded mid-week.
"Is someone a little anxious?" He laughed.
No, I'm just not ready for people to look at me like the dirty old woman I am.
The thought tainted my previous excitement.
When I remained quiet, lost in thought, Edward continued. "Wednesday sounds perfect. Does six o'clock still work for you?"
"Yes, six would be great."
"Wonderful. I'll see you then." He sounded exuberantly youthful as he said his goodbyes.
It's just a date. So what if people see us? – it's none of their business.
I was still trying to convince myself, but it did little to appease my nerves.
The remainder of my Monday found me preoccupying myself with mundane tasks, trying to keep my mind off of it.
Tuesday was business, chores and errands as usual until I had a venue walk-through at the Kalaloch Lodge. It wasn't my first event at the lodge, but I had agreed to visit the venue with my clients to discuss how everything would be arranged the day of their wedding. I found the walk-throughs usually helped to excite them about their big day, while also easing some of the frayed nerves they may be experiencing about the unexpected.
I almost escaped the day without thoughts of Edward, until the couple nervously asked how I planned to do it all single-handedly.
"Oh, I won't be alone. I've hired an assistant." I assured them. "You'll love Edward, he's very pleasant and a damn hard worker." I bragged.
After that encounter, my thoughts were consumed by everything Edward. I called Ali on the way back to my place.
"Heya Bells!" She greeted brightly.
I sighed. "I think it's time for the red dress."
"With the strappy heels?" She asked doubtfully.
"With the strappy heels." I confirmed.
She squealed in delight; the sound of her hands clapping in the background. "When? What time?"
"He's picking me up at six tomorrow night."
"I'll come over around four." She advised.
It was a short phone call, but knowing Alice was coming over helped me to relax a little.
As I arrived at Sam and Emily's home in La Push Beach, my phone chimed with a text from Edward. "T-Minus 24 hours."
I smiled giddily, quickly typing my reply. "Looking forward to it."
"Bella!" Seth – Leah's younger brother – greeted me as I walked into Sam's house Tuesday evening.
My jaw went slack as I took in all five-foot-eleven of him. "My God, Seth! You've grown!"
He smiled proudly. "That's what happens when you don't visit enough!" His deep voice teased as he embraced me fully.
"You're an old man, now!" I joked back, slugging his arm playfully.
"I'm practically thirty!"
"You have three more years, little brother. Don't push it." Leah tousled his hair before stepping forward to hug me. "I'm so glad you're here, Bella. Feels like old times, doesn't it?"
She was right. It felt good being back on the rez. Jake and I hadn't come here as frequently after our wedding, and I hadn't been back at all since starting my business. It felt warm – like being home.
I looked through the crowd of tanned skin. "Where's mom and dad?" I asked.
Jacob stepped up by Leah's side, reaching forward quickly to kiss my cheek. "Charlie just called to let me know they're running late."
I took notice of the way they gravitated towards one another without touching and gave Leah an inquisitive look. She gave me a tight smile before shaking her head.
Apparently, they hadn't told anyone yet.
Awkward!
"Just wasn't the right time." Leah leaned forward, whispering to me.
We were just lining up in the tight kitchen to fix our dinner plates when my phone chimed with a text from Edward: "T-Minus 23 hours."
I laughed a little at his exuberance.
I hoped no one caught my blush, but of course, Leah saw it.
"Bella, why don't we go eat on the back porch. It's a little cramped in here." Leah offered.
"Sure. I'll be right there." I agreed as I added some fried chicken to my plate.
Leah and I were the only ones sitting out there as the sun was just beginning to set beyond the watery horizon.
"That was your assistant, wasn't it?" She inquired.
I blushed. "Was it that obvious?"
She smiled warmly. "Only to me. I doubt anyone else noticed. So, want to tell me about him?" She seemed to think better of her question. "If not, I promise I won't pry."
I chewed on my lip as I thought it over.
"Hmmm, that bad, huh?" She scooped a forkful of potato salad into her mouth.
"It's...complicated." I answered.
She gave me a furtive sideways glance. "Yeah, you're right – I wouldn't know a thing about complicated relationships."
We both laughed and, it was nice to feel so comfortable with her again. It felt like old times.
"Is it just because he works for you?" She asked as I nibbled on a chicken leg.
Ugh, I wish that was the only problem.
"He's young. Like, really young."
"How young is really young? Is he legal?" She asked, leaning into the conversation secretly.
"Oh, yes! Of course!" I admonished. "But, he's only twenty-seven." I bit my lip, nervous about how she might react.
Leah was an overly protective big-sister, and I was practically going on a date with someone her brother's age.
She furrowed her elegant brow, contemplating what I'd just said. "I don't see anything wrong with that."
"Really?!" I asked, surprised.
"No, not at all. If you were mature enough at that age to be married, own a home and start a family, then he is perfectly old enough to make an informed decision about who he wants to be romantically involved with. It's not exactly the loss of innocence, you know?" Satisfied with her response, she plucked a watermelon chunk from her plate and popped it into her mouth.
I hadn't thought of it that way.
I peeled the skin off the end of the chicken leg, tearing it apart with my fingernails nervously.
"I don't know. It just doesn't feel natural to me. I mean, what would everyone think?"
I tried to imagine how Jacob might react to the news.
"Bella, listen to me. Life is far too short to live it worrying about what others think. It's your life; you should spend it doing what makes you happiest."
"What about you and Jake? Does Sarah know yet?" I asked, not at all meaning it as challenging as it came out.
"We haven't flat out told Sarah, but we've let her see us hold hands and little things like that. Like you said – she's bright. We figured we'd let her draw her own conclusions and come to us if she really has any questions about it."
"What about everyone else?" I added.
"Well, the important people already know. Jacob and I are sort of beyond caring what everyone thinks, but we didn't want to detract from Billy and Mom today. We wanted the spotlight on them, you know?"
I could understand that.
"When it comes to your assistant, if you are really interested in him, I don't think you should let a silly thing like your age difference come between you. I think you deserve to see where this thing takes you."
"Then, why am I so scared?" I asked, staring out at the pink and violet hues of the sunset as they reflected off the ocean.
She grew serious, putting down her plate on the coffee table and turning her full attention to me.
"When Nahuel died..." She choked up a little before trying to continue. "When I lost him, I was miserable. My depression became my primary characteristic. I wore my loss like it was some kind of honor. Like, look at me! I lost everything and I'm so strong that I survived!" She swallowed, her eyes growing distant as she thought back over the life she had lived in Seattle. "But that's all I was doing. I was surviving. I wasn't really living anymore. I'll spare you the gory details, but I came up with a million ways to simply not feel that way anymore. I thought of every possible outlet from my grief, except for the one that's actually worked."
"What's that?" I asked tentatively.
"Just trying to be happy." She answered plainly. "Don't get so caught up in being miserable or lonely that you become afraid of the one honest way out of it – don't be afraid to be happy."
I was surprised when her words rang true to my heart.
How many times over the last three years had I referred to myself though my divorce? I wasn't Bella Swan anymore, I was a middle-aged divorcee and single-mother. Besides my business, I'd let my divorce define me.
Had I become comfortable being miserable and lonely, as Leah suggested?
Was I afraid to be happy? To find that kind of happiness with someone else?
"When you lose a husband – no matter how you lose him – it can be scary putting yourself back out there. The what-if-it-doesn't-work-out will drive you mad. But, don't just survive it, Bella. Learn to thrive again."
Our conversation was interrupted when Jacob stepped out on the deck, looking for us. "Mind if I join you?" He asked, walking over to take the seat to Leah's right.
She'd lost everything and she was trying again.
If she could do it, so could I.
I was an absolute nervous wreck by the time Alice arrived Wednesday afternoon.
My phone chimed with a text. "T-Minus 2 hours."
I giggled. He'd been counting down the hours since last night.
Although I was perfectly capable of making my face up for day-to-day events, Ali had the make-up skills I would apparently need for whatever Edward had planned tonight.
"Okay, close your eyes." She directed as she opened an eye-shadow palette. "So, where exactly is he taking you tonight?" She asked as I felt a brush sweep softly across my left eyelid.
"I have no idea. He wanted to surprise me." I said, careful not to move my face.
"Aw, that's so sweet!"
"I know, right?"
"Do you have any ideas what he has in mind?"
"Not a clue." I giggled nervously, yelping when there was knock on the door. "He's early!" My eyes grew wide.
"Let me get it. I'll be right back."
I watched Alice exit the room before I rushed towards the open bedroom door, peeking out anxiously. I couldn't quite see the front door without revealing myself, but listened in as closely as I could to the conversation, still not quite making out what was being said.
"It's not him." She reassured me as she closed the front door, appearing in the hallway a minute later carrying an arrangement of two dozen long stemmed roses with a huge, shit-eating grin on her face.
"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, taking the roses from her.
She plucked the card out of the arrangement before I had a chance. "How cute!"
"What does it say?" I asked impatiently.
She raced over to the computer on my desk, shaking the mouse to wake it up. "It's just a YouTube link!"
"For what?"
"I'm going to plug it in so we can see. This is so exciting!" As the computer screen lit up, she opened the browser and manically typed in the link he had provided.
A minute after some generic ad played, I heard the first beats of a familiar tune.
People are talkin', talkin' 'bout people
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it
They think we're lovers kept under covers
I just ignore it, but they keep saying
We laugh just a little too loud
We stand just a little too close
We stare just a little too long
Maybe they're seeing something we don't, darlin'
Let's give them something to talk about...
Alice looked over her shoulder at me, her eyes alight and her mouth hanging open.
"Ooooh, you are in so much trouble with this one, Bells!" Ali crooned as she left the song playing, returning to resume her work on my make-up.
I was dressed and just finishing my hair when Alice alerted me that he had just pulled up.
"Shit, I need a few more minutes!" I shouted out of the bathroom, trying to push a few more bobby pins into my up-do.
"I'll stall him!" Ali offered, probably loving the fact that she'd get a chance to grill him for details.
I closed the bathroom door for some privacy, not wanting him to see me until I was done getting ready.
I heard the front door close, their voices carrying quietly through the bathroom door as they talked.
I prayed to God she was behaving herself.
I finished pinning my hair up loosely, soft auburn tendrils curling down around my face and neck. Ali had never done my make-up before, but I was glad I'd asked for the help. A shimmery, nude eye-shadow now highlighted my brown eyes and my eyebrows were on-point like never before. She'd chosen a bright red lipstick to accent the look.
I'd picked out my little red dress a couple of years before, dying for an occasion to wear it that had not appeared till now. It was a sleeveless, floor-length gown that hugged my curves, the reverse covered in a red mesh material with floral accents that revealed my back and curved around to accent my waist.
And, of course, the piece de resistance – my strappy gold heels.
I didn't clean up half bad, if I did say so myself.