Birthday Chocolate Cake with extra sprinkles
250g dark chocolate (around 70% cocoa solids), broken into chunks
250g unsalted butter, cut into cubes
4 medium eggs, separated
200g caster sugar (or 100g caster mixed with 100g soft light brown sugar)
50g plain flour
50g ground almonds
Grease a 23cm springform cake tin and line the base with baking parchment. Extra-large 9 inches like your hero, size does matter here lovelies.
Put the chocolate and butter in a heatproof bowl and place it over a pan of barely simmering water, making sure the water doesn't touch the base of the bowl. Stir occasionally until the butter and chocolate have melted and bound together like your fictional hearts.
Meanwhile, whisk the egg yolks and sugar together in a large bowl until well combined, so it's almost canon.
Stir the melted chocolate and butter into the egg and sugar mixture. Combine the flour and almonds and fold these into as well and you're almost ready for them to get hot.
In a separate bowl, whisk the egg whites until they hold firm peaks. Stir a large spoonful of egg white into the chocolate mixture to loosen it, then carefully fold in the rest of the egg whites with a large metal spoon or spatula, trying to keep in as much air as possible. Like your hero and heroine wrapped in meringue white sheets.
Pour the mixture into the prepared tin. Place in an oven preheated to 170°C (gas mark 3) and bake for about 30 mins, until only just set. So you've got more to play with.
It should still wobble slightly in the centre – this means the cake will have a gorgeous sticky, fudgy texture once it's cooled down. Leave to cool for 10-15 mins before releasing the tin. Much like Dempsey with a tequilla sunset.
Serve warm or cold, on its own or with a dollop of thick cream, creme fraiche or Greek yogurt. For a more adult version, you could stir a slug of whisky into whipped cream sweetened with a little icing sugar and serve it spooned over each slice of cake and maybe a naked body or two.