Christian

My knees felt so weak, I genuinely thought I was going to faint. Everything disappeared out of my mind in an instant, the world narrowing down to one single word. Daughter.

"What did you say?" I asked, my voice sounding strange and distant. I felt like it was no longer a part of me; disconnected entirely.

"You heard," he muttered, looking far away into the distance. He reached for his drink on the floor, but I beat him to it.

I took a long drag as I flopped into the couch opposite.

"For once," I said slowly, emphasising each word. "For once in your god damn life, you're going to tell me the truth. I'm sick of your bullshit and lies."

"I'm not lying Christian," he said, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. "I wish I was, believe me."

"Then explain," I spat, taking another sip. "You've got five minutes before I go upstairs and leave this house without ever looking back."

I fixed my steely gaze on him as he breathed deeply before speaking.

"Your mom and I moved here a few years before we adopted Elliot," he began. "We'd been married for a few years. Spent some of it travelling, living in different cities and such. Your mom got the job at the children's hospital here and we thought it was a good idea to settle down. Begin a family."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes," I told him. "I know all this. Get on with it."

"We tried for ages to conceive," he continued. "We even went the IVF route. Nothing. Your mother became depressed and withdrawn. We argued a lot and we went through a really rough patch. One night, after a big fight, I went out to the local bar. I had a few too many and there was a young woman beside me also by herself. Turns out, we'd both been having a few marital troubles. She was lovely. Told me her name was Carla and she was a beauty."

I stiffened, not wanting to hear what came next.

"It was a stupid mistake Christian," he said. "A stupid stupid mistake. We hooked up. We agreed to forget about it the next morning and I never saw her again. Until she walked through the door five years with Anastasia."

He looked at me and I looked away, taking another sip as my heart beat wildly.

"Carla barely recognised me," he said. "I took her aside and asked about the child. She was angry with me for even mentioning it. She assured me that Anastasia couldn't be mine. We'd used protection. She was Ray's without a doubt. I believed her and I didn't press the issue again. Afterwards, I asked her if it was a good idea, the two of you being friends, but she said she wouldn't sacrifice her daughter's happiness over a drunken one-night stand years ago. Both of us thought it would fizzle out, but it never did. Carla didn't want to break you apart. She didn't think it was a big deal. We'd had a silly drunken night years ago. We were both happily married. We all had jobs here and our children went to the same school. Why sacrifice everything over something that had meant nothing?"

He sighed, taking a deep breath and leaning forward.

"She pretended not to know me, and I her. After a while, I kind of forgot about it. As she said, it wasn't a big deal. I could see how happily married she was. How much she loved her husband. I didn't want to ruin that."

I listened as his voice took on a different tone. Almost, longing?

"She meant something to you," I said coldly.

He nodded, not meeting my gaze.

"She did not feel the same," he said. "In fact, she actively disliked me. Perhaps because I was a reminder of her infidelity. Of her weak moment. I didn't want to ruin her happiness. Even when I found out Anastasia was indeed mine."

"And how did you find out?"

He sighed. "The day you dyed her hair orange. Your mother was brushing it out and I saw a small blue birthmark on the back of her neck. Just below her scalp."

I pictured it in my mind instantly. I had kissed it several times.

He lifted his hair, showing me his neck. It was exactly the same and I felt my blood run cold.

"Of course," he said, turning around. "I had noticed other similarities. The blue eyes. Some of her expressions. I wanted to be sure and so I did a DNA test. A paternity test with a cup she'd drank out of. She's mine Christian."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to stand.

"Who else knows this?" I managed to choke out.

"Nobody," he said quietly. "Just you. I've kept this secret all these years. Revealing the truth…it would ruin everything Christian."

"I'm adopted…" I said out loud, wanting complete confirmation even though I knew I was.

"You are," he said. "I have no blood relation to you at all. However, you are my son. You're my son in every way that matters, and she is my daughter Christian. You can't be together."

I shook my head.

"You're not taking her away from me," I insisted. "She's mine. I don't care if she's your daughter."

"You're my son!" He shouted, coming over to me, his eyes blazing.

"Get away from me," I spat. "How could you? How could you treat my mother like that? How could you treat Ana like that? All these years you've known she was your daughter and you've treated her like shit! You don't love her. You don't love anyone."

"Yes I do," he said angrily. "I did what had to be done."

"No you didn't," I shouted.

I shook my head, still pacing. I didn't want any of this to be true. I wanted it to all be a bad dream.

"Maybe you got it wrong," I said carelessly, grasping at straws. "Maybe she is Ray's."

"She's not," he said flatly.

"I'm going to ask Carla," I insisted.

"You can't," he insisted, standing right in front of me now. He looked me square in the eye. "You can't tell anybody about this Christian. Not Carla. Not Ana. Not anyone."

"I can't lie to Ana," I said, taken aback.

"You have to. It will ruin everything. It will break everyone apart."

I shrugged away from him. "Maybe you should have thought about that before you fucked another woman."

He glared at me.

"They deserve to know the truth," I said adamantly.

"The truth will kill them. It will break your mother's heart. It will break Carla's. It will break Ana's."

I turned away from him, hating that he was right.

"You can't say anything Christian," he maintained. "You have to promise me."

"I'm not promising you anything."

"If you care about Ana," he started, but I cut him off with a murderous glare.

"Don't you dare," I said slowly. "I care about her more than anyone. You don't care about her. You never have."

"That's not true," he said angrily.

"Really?" I asked sarcastically. "Where were you when her family were having financial troubles? Where were you when she needed help with college?"

"How do you think her father miraculously got a job after he was laid off? How do you think she landed a scholarship only offered to one ten kids a year?" He barked.

I didn't want to hear his voice anymore. I couldn't listen to one more word that came from his mouth. I walked away, out of the lounge. He followed.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

I turned around to face him. "You're not fit to be a husband to my mother," I said quietly. "You're not fit to be a father to anyone. You're a cheating, prying, sorry excuse of a man. I'm going to California with Ana and I'm not coming back."

He had tears in his eyes, and I revelled in them.

"I hate you," I said coldly. "I hate you and I never want to see you again."

I turned my back on him, walking slowly upstairs. Mechanically, I packed my bags. When I came back downstairs, he was gone. As I drove away in my car, tears stung my eyes. I deserved better than him and Ana deserved better than him too. She deserved better than her Carla. Better than me probably but she wanted me and as long as she did, I'd never leave her side. I loved her more than anything in this world and right now, she was all I had left.

I blinked back my tears and reminded myself of who I was. I was Christian Grey, and I was going to rise above all of this. And on my way, I would burn everyone that had ever hurt me down to the ground.