The Games continued on and life slowly went back to normal, but Jim felt anything but normal because taking a life was something he had actually never done. His words had been responsible for the death of Nero and Ayel Senior, but his hands had killed Nero Junior using a weapon.
Phlox had insisted on keeping him in the hospital for several days to recover from the injury and shock involved in the final encounter with Nero. Jim hadn't been in any condition to argue and both Leonard and Sam had spent time at Jim's bedside when they didn't have other things happening in their lives. Captain Pike and Pavel had also visited, but Captain Pike had placed a limit on who could visit Jim's room, as he didn't want others and media having access to Jim.
Despite the restrictions on visitors, people had sent gifts and plants in response to Jim killing Nero because many viewed the young man as a hero for his service. When Jim had finally woken after three days, he had been horrified by the plants and gifts enough that Phlox had moved the plants to his personal garden and Leonard had moved the gifts back to their dorm. Jim wasn't a fan of people's kindnesses even if it was their way of healing, as he didn't believe in celebrating death.
Now, as the sun came up in San Francisco, Jim found himself sitting in a chair on the balcony that was attached to his room wearing jeans, his gown, a cardigan, slippers, and a blanket that Leonard had brought him. It was cold, but it was a place where he could be alone with his thoughts.
As much as he wanted to go for a walk to clear his head, Jim was very physically weak from chemotherapy and from the attack and he knew it. The sight of the campus, decorated by frost and snow, was enough for him. It was early enough that nobody was there to bother him yet.
Footsteps entered the room and Jim scoffed, raising his hand in view of the door to show that he hadn't pulled the IV of fluids that Phlox had insisted on keeping him on 24/7. A moment later, Hikaru came out on to the balcony wearing winter gear over his clothes. Jim eyed him silently.
"I...I thought I'd come here for a chat," Hikaru spoke as he perched himself on the empty chair across from Jim with a nervous expression on his face. "I get what you're feeling right now. I had to fight and to kill when I was in Romulus to keep from dying. I also saw Professor Marcus shoot someone dead right in front of me, but I was too jacked up on drugs to process it at the time..."
Jim sighed tiredly, "It's weird that people are actually celebrating Nero's death," he admitted in a tired, slightly shaky voice, his expression shaken. "They've been sending gifts and plants to my room. I made Phlox take the plants to his garden and Bones took the gifts to our dorm because celebrating death is just wrong even if a bad person dies. I've heard rumors that the Vulcans want to honor me and Lorca wants to give me a medal, but I just hate the whole idea..."
"Jim, the Vulcans and everyone else who is sending you thanks suffered a lot at Nero's hands and it makes them feel better to give you something," Hikaru spoke quietly. "It's the same thing I told Pavel when he tried to refuse the diplomatic immunity President Mathews gave him..."
Jim nodded and slowly got up out of the chair, clinging to the IV pole for dear life as he moved inside with Hikaru at his heels, "Trust me, if I felt like it, I'd be halfway to Sausalito by now just to walk it out," he spoke in a groggy voice. "Between the chemo and the fight, though, I don't."
Hikaru watched as Jim got himself back in bed, "How's that going, anyway?" Hikaru asked softly.
"Oh, Doctor Bashir's overseeing that even with one arm," Jim replied groggily. "I had a second session yesterday and he was here for all of it. This is day five in here since...it happened."
Hikaru nodded and sat in a chair just as Phlox came into the room with a covered breakfast tray, "How was your morning meditation on the balcony, Mister Kirk?" Phlox asked with a smile.
Jim sighed, but didn't comment and instead uncovered the tray as soon as it was set on the portable tray. The tray contained some applesauce, a spoon, and a tall glass of gingerale.
"Doctor Bashir has physiotherapy this morning, but he left his orders in the chart for me," Phlox explained in a calm voice, watching as Jim immediately began sipping the gingerale. "He wants to you eat all your breakfast and you can go back to Tucker Hall if you feel like it, but to rest."
Jim nodded and ate his breakfast in complete silence, "I want you to keep the IV in and Doctor McCoy can remove it when it runs dry," Phlox spoke calmly. "Mister Sulu, can you walk him back?"
Hikaru nodded and Jim silently got off the bed with one hand holding on to his IV pole while the other grabbed his wallet off the table, "Where's your stuff?" Hikaru asked. "I'll carry it."
"Back at the dorm," Jim replied quietly, sighing. "My phone's got like a ton of messages on it, probably and I made Bones take everything else away cause it was giving me mad anxiety."
Phlox offered Jim a reassuring smile as he led the two to Intake, hoping Jim would rest.
Tucker Hall – Starfleet Academy
The residence hall was quiet, as people were off at events or studying for upcoming final exams, so Jim and Hikaru had no trouble getting to the dorm. Jim immediately got into bed and sighed weakly while Hikaru sat in a chair at the desk because he knew Jim shouldn't be alone just then.
"Don't you have events or studying?" Jim asked groggily, eyeing Hikaru suspiciously.
Hikaru sighed, "Martial arts is done and I didn't sign up for anything else except hockey because I've got enough to do between school, therapy, and Demora," he explained calmly.
"I'm just really...feeling weak and crappy," Jim spoke softly. "And really confused."
Before Hikaru could reply, Pavel came strolling into the room, "Jeem!" he spoke warmly. "I deed not know you vould be getting out today. I voke up a leetle late zees morneenng..."
"You're usually up at six to go walking, right?" Jim asked groggily, frowning at Pavel worriedly.
Pavel nodded as he planted himself on Leonard's bed, "I vent to bed wery late because I vas seenkeeng about you and about vat happened," he spoke quietly. "I vas seenking about ven I keeled my fazzer and I know zat I deed eet ewen zo I do not remember how I got back here from verewer I vas. Eet eez okay to not know how to feel about keeling someone...eet really eez."
"Did people celebrate your dad's death like it was some sort of miracle?" Jim asked softly, sighing.
Pavel sighed, "I honestly do not remember because Keptin Pike handled ze people," he admitted in a kind, quiet voice. "I vas underage and wery weak. I do hear seengs in ze news from time to time zo, about heem and I hate zat I had to keel heem, but I knew I vould die eef I deed not."
"I don't get how people can celebrate death even if it was Nero who died," Jim replied tiredly.
Pavel moved over to the edge of Jim's bed and sat, "You do not hawe to right avay," he spoke in a kind voice, sighing. "Maybe some sleep vill help you. You look wery, wery sleepy right now."
Nodding, Jim promptly closed his eyes and a moment later, he was sound asleep, "I do not know vere Doctor MeeCoy eez right now, but I can stay unteel he comes," Pavel spoke softly.
"He went to town this morning," Hikaru spoke quietly. "I saw him leave really, really early."
Pavel nodded and the two sat in silence, wanting to stay quiet as Jim got some needed rest.
Yorktown Hospital – Sausalito, California
It was very early in the morning, but Leonard McCoy was fully awake and clad in winter gear as he made his way into the hospital. He desperately needed to talk to someone about Nero's death, but he hadn't been able to get a free day until that day and he hadn't felt comfortable going where he was known. His name was still associated with what had gone down at the Narada Embassy and Nero being killed by Jim had brought all those memories back along with the trauma he had suffered, prompting him to sneak off of campus and out of town to seek therapy.
The general waiting area was quiet and it didn't appear as if anyone was around who could help him, so Leonard silently sat and looked at the floor. He didn't bring anything with him except for his wallet and phone and he didn't feel like doing anything but reflecting on his experience.
Oh, but there was so much he had to do and lists helped, he realized. He had to make a list.
Sighing heavily, Leonard pulled his phone out and began checking over the week's schedule he had made in his calendar: Work at infirmary, hockey finals against winner of heats, hang out with Jim, keep Jim on schedule, volunteer at Mama's business, help out at Mark's shelter, do kinesiology finals, see about getting Joanna's plot moved to cemetery in San Francisco...
"I've got so much crap going on," Leonard mumbled to himself, suddenly feeling guilty that he had taken a cab from campus all the way to Sausalito for therapy he could have gotten on campus. "Why did I come all the way out here? I'm a selfish prick who can't keep himself functioning…"
Nausea and dizziness suddenly hit Leonard, as did a headache, and he found himself keeling over to try and lower his center of gravity. He knew that his anxiety level was high and that his blood pressure was most likely low because he hadn't really taken time to eat in the past few days because he had been endlessly busy. Headaches had been a constant companion since Nero was shot, but he had merely drank some water to deal with them and then moved on with things.
"Excuse me, are you all right?" a voice suddenly asked from above him.
Leonard exhaled weakly, "Just peachy," he mumbled weakly. "I just need a sec and I don't want people touching me or poking me or telling me that I should be happy about everything…"
"I thought you looked familiar," the voice replied gently. "You're a bit far from home."
Leonard scoffed, but didn't reply because his headache was growing worse and he suddenly felt someone sit next to him, "I'm not feeling my best today," he admitted softly. "I just don't want to go somewhere where I'm known and have people make something big out of it."
"Ah," the voice replied calmly. "You're remembering your experience with Nero, correct?"
Despite the headache, Leonard forced himself to sit up and saw that Dr. Boyce was sitting next to him wearing a coat over some green scrubs, "You look like crap," Dr. Boyce spoke gently.
Leonard sighed and nodded, as he couldn't deny it, "Mind if I look you over in the emergency department?" Dr. Boyce asked in a kind voice. "You're kinda pale and look shaky…"
"If you help me walk," Leonard spoke in a quiet, pained voice. "I don't feel good."
Dr. Boyce carefully helped Leonard to his feet and kept a careful hold of him as they made their way into the nearby emergency room. Leonard found himself quickly sat down on the gurney closest to the unit's entrance. The idea of having to remove his clothes suddenly made him feel extremely nauseous, as he remembered being stripped and tortured at the Narada Embassy.
"You've gone white," Dr. Boyce spoke gently, eyeing Leonard worriedly. "What's wrong?"
Leonard exhaled, "I can't take my clothes off for an exam," he spoke in a heavy voice, suddenly feeling horrified with himself. "Nero and the others stripped me when I was at the Embassy…"
"Can you take off your coat at least?" Dr. Boyce asked in a kind voice. "So I can check vitals?"
Leonard shakily obliged and suddenly felt himself nearly passing out. He suddenly felt himself being lowered on to the gurney, "It's all right, I've got you," Boyce's calm voice spoke.
Talking filled the air, but Leonard didn't hear or understand it because every inch of him was becoming numb. Anxiety quickly got the better of him and he turned his head, releasing a pile of clear vomit on to the tiled floor. An alarm suddenly filled the air, nearly deafening him as he continued losing feeling and awareness. Darkness claimed him as more voices closed in.
"…I don't think Kirk's up for visitors. I know your intentions are good, but…"
"…I am visiting on behalf of the Vulcan High Command and surviving Elders…"
Jim frowned as he woke and turned his head to see Hikaru blocking the door, stopping Spock from entering the room. Pavel was sitting on Leonard's bed with a book in his lap, watching them.
"Spock?" Jim asked groggily, frowning at him. "Sulu, why are you blocking the door?"
Hikaru reluctantly stepped aside and Spock silently entered the room, "I was asked by Empress T'Pau to come issue you an invitation," Spock spoke in a quiet, but formal voice. "Ensign Hoshi Sato's memorial service will take place in Honolulu, Hawaii over the Christmas season and your presence has been requested there. What you have done for Vulcan by ending the life of Nero must be honored and in conjunction with the memorial, there will be a ceremony…"
Jim paled, "The Vulcans want me to go to Hawaii over Christmas so they can honor me for killing Nero?" he asked in a shaky voice, frowning. "I…I'm not sure I like that idea, Spock…"
At that moment, Hikaru hustled Spock into the hallway while Pavel moved to calm Jim down so he could rest more, "If you bring that kind of thing to Jim again, I'm gonna tattle on you to Pike," Hikaru spoke in an anxious, hushed voice. "He just got out of the hospital today, Spock…"
Spock sighed, "Empress T'Pau wished to come herself, but I convinced her that my presence would be less intimidating," he replied tonelessly. "Jim is a legal adult and so…"
"Go to Captain Pike with it," Hikaru interrupted. "Doctor McCoy's not here, so…"
Spock frowned, his expression serious, "All students are required to submit a log of departure when they leave campus," he replied quietly. "I was not informed that he left campus."
"I was out walking this morning and I saw McCoy get in a cab and take off somewhere," Hikaru admitted in a concerned voice, frowning. "He's been overworking and didn't look well…"
Spock sighed heavily and quickly walked over to a nearby landline phone, "I am required to report this," he spoke in a concerned voice. "The police never did find the other Romulans involved in the attack on the YMCA facility and that is why Dean Archer instituted new policies…."
Hikaru nodded, swallowing hard as Spock picked up the phone and dialed Dean Archer's office.
Academy Infirmary
"No, McCoy was not scheduled to work today and as far as I know, he didn't have any events," Phlox spoke in a concerned voice as he sat at the Intake Desk in the infirmary while Dean Archer, Hikaru, and Spock stood on the other side. "Have you contacted Campus Security?"
Spock sighed, "Mister Sulu talked me out of it," he spoke quietly. "I thought it best…"
"He…I thought I heard him say something about Sausalito to the cabbie," Hikaru spoke up in a concerned voice. "He's been working endlessly since everything happened and he's not well."
Phlox frowned and Dean Archer suddenly looked concerned, "Not well?" Dean Archer asked.
"I think his memories of his time with Nero have been getting to him since Nero died and he might have been too scared to ask for help here," Hikaru explained in a worried voice. "I know he's got enough money to take a cab to Sausalito and maybe talk to someone there."
Phlox sighed, "I had cleared Doctor Bashir to come back to work today, so I was going to talk to Doctor McCoy about relieving some of his responsibilities, but I guess he got very overwhelmed very quickly," he admitted somberly. "He's been doing work of both doctor and nurse since I made changes here and I'm sure everything, plus the stress of Nero's death, has gotten to him."
"I can go up to Sausalito and inquire after his whereabouts," Spock offered softly, sighing. "I…"
Dean Archer scowled, "Not by yourself, Spock," he interrupted. "The streets aren't safe and Sulu, considering your history with the Romulans, I'd rather you stayed put too for your own safety."
The desk phone suddenly rang as Julian, who had been declared healthy enough to work, came to Intake from the staff room dressed for work with his arm out of the sling, "Hello?" Phlox said as he answered the phone and suddenly frowned upon hearing the voice on the other end.
"Doctor Phlox, this is Doctor Boyce from Yorktown General," Dr. Boyce's voice spoke in a quiet, concerned voice. "I'm looking for the emergency contact information for Leonard McCoy, as he's currently a patient in my emergency room after passing out from anxiety, shock, and hypotension. He's also severely dehydrated and looks as if he hasn't slept or eaten in a few days."
Phlox frowned, as he knew that both Leonard and M'Benga had taken on extra shifts and duties since Julian had been incapacitated and the number of nurses had been reduced with the firing of the student nurses, "Do you need his medical records as well?" he asked in a concerned voice.
"No, they're accessible from here and I am concerned, as they say he's currently in remission from cancer," Dr. Boyce spoke quietly. "If he keeps up like he's been going, he runs the risk of falling out of remission. I know that the whole news about Nero's death probably impacted him because he's one of the few to survive being tortured by Nero and retain any coherency…"
Phlox sighed, "Dean Archer will have that information," he replied. "I'll pass the phone to him."
Dean Archer frowned, but collected the phone and began to converse with Boyce while Phlox ushered Julian, Spock, and Hikaru away to give Archer privacy, "…I'll get the information and get in touch with his mother," Dean Archer said quietly. "I'll also send someone from campus…"
The call ended and Dean Archer walked over to the group, "Sulu, go find something to do on campus," he spoke in a firm voice. "Phlox, do you know if any of the advocacy group…?"
"I am right here, sir," Spock spoke calmly. "I am the senior student in the group."
Julian looked surprised, as he had tried asking other students for a campus service that would help him feel like he belonged, but nobody had told him anything. He felt, however, as if he didn't have the right to ask about it just then because he wasn't officially a student of Starfleet Academy until January and then he would be moving to Romulus after graduation…so did he really need it?
"Doctor Bashir?"
Julian blinked and suddenly noticed that Dean Archer, Hikaru, and Spock had gone, leaving him alone with Phlox, "Oh, sorry, I was just deep in thought," he apologized softly. "Um, I'm cleared for work if there's anything you need me to do. Or I could go check on Mister Kirk…"
"I don't want you getting overwhelmed on your first day back since the shooting," Phlox spoke in a calm, parental voice as he gave Julian a calm look. "As far as patients go, I've already seen to Tom Paris and his family is with him right now. Perhaps you'd like a cup of tea in my office?"
Julian sighed, "Sir, I didn't know there was an advocacy group and ever since the shooting, I've realized that I'm vulnerable because none would ever defend me if there was a danger like at the YMCA," he admitted softly. "I told my parents my plans to go to Romulus after graduation and they're quite upset, as they think I'll die over there. I didn't dare tell them that I'm tempted to see if I can transfer my credits over to Discovery Academy and just finish school there…"
Phlox frowned and Julian sighed, "I guess I do need to talk," Julian admitted in a quiet voice.
Nodding, Phlox led Julian to his office and Julian sat while Phlox went about preparing tea.
Tucker Hall was still quiet by the time Jim woke again after drifting off when Spock and Hikaru had left the room. Pavel was gone, as were Hikaru and Spock. He was alone and feeling anxious.
I need to talk to Professor Reed. Jim thought as he slowly sat up in bed and saw that the IV had run dry and needed removing. I need to remove this IV first. I've seen Bones do it before…
Jim slowly got out of bed and made his way over to the closet that belonged to Leonard. He opened it, found Leonard's student kit, and used some of the supplies inside to carefully remove the IV from his hand. After bandaging the wound, Jim retrieved his wallet, new campus ID, and phone from his bedside table before gazing at the mess of gifts scattered across the desk.
I hate all of this and I hate the idea of being honored in Hawaii. Jim thought, spitting at the gifts as he grabbed his winter coat and his boots from his closet. Once he had them on, he silently left the dorm and went to the back door, as he didn't want anyone to know what he was doing.
The air was cold, but Jim had honestly felt colder air at Tarsus and so he proceeded to walk in the direction of San Francisco General. He needed to talk to Professor Reed and get reassurance.
Unaware that Jim had gone, Pavel returned to the dorm with some tea he had made for Jim and froze when he saw the room empty, "Jeem?" he spoke nervously, frowning. "Oh, no…"
Panic filled Pavel as he walked over to Jim's bed, saw the pulled IV, and the mess of medical supplies on the floor, and that Jim's phone, wallet, coat, and boots were gone, "Oh nyet, nyet, nyet, Doctor Basheer vill not be happy," he fretted anxiously, his eyes wide. "Oh, nyet…"
"Pavel, what's wrong?" Hikaru asked as he came into the room. "Hey, where's Kirk at?"
Pavel frowned, "I vas makeeng tea and ven I came to giwe eet to heem, he vas not here and I found zees mess," he explained worriedly. "Jeem eez not een hees right mind right now…"
Hikaru sighed and pulled out his phone, "We have to call Security," he spoke in a worried voice.
Pavel nodded, "I know zat, but I feel bad zat nobody eez leestening to Jeem about ze whole Nero seeing," he spoke as Hikaru dialed Campus Security. "He does not vant to celebrate eet."
"Campus Security," a drawl spoke. "State the problem and where you are."
Hikaru scowled at Pavel, "The Vulcans and others who lost a lot cause of the Nero Empire want to celebrate that they can finally have some peace," he hissed angrily. "I know Jim doesn't like attention or parties, but if he doesn't agree to go, the Vulcans can have an order issued…"
"Zat eez a lot of crap," Pavel replied in an upset voice, frowning. "Eez zat a deeplomatic law?"
Hikaru nodded, "I had to learn all the finer points of diplomacy cause I was a little kid in Sendai when the war was happening and we were across from Thermopoli, the main area of the war," he explained in a concerned voice. "My dad was a doctor and he was more involved, but there were laws written after the war that the Vulcans would have the right to honor whoever killed Nero someday because they expected he would be killed. Jim's just gonna have to deal with it."
"So he has to be seeck and scared and anxious just because ze Wulcans want to hawe a party?" Pavel snapped, his anger growing. "Spock ewen askeeng heem to go eez vy Jeem pulled hees IV and ran off eento ze cold somevere. I hope he doesn't pass out or geet captured or seeck…"
A throat suddenly cleared and Pavel and Hikaru turned to see Officer Tucker lingering in the doorway, having walked there in a hurry when he heard the two arguing. Hikaru quickly put his phone away, "Um, so Kirk pulled his IV, got his stuff, and took off," he spoke nervously.
"I heard y'all say that," Officer Tucker replied calmly. "I also have a good idea as to where he might be going. Now what's this about Spock visiting and the Vulcans issuing an order?"
Hikaru sighed, "Spock showed up while Jim was resting and said that the Vulcans want to honor him in Hawaii around the same time as Hoshi Sato's funeral," he explained quietly. "Jim freaked right out and ended up going back to sleep quickly and I kicked Spock out of the room…"
"After zey left, I vent to make Jeem some tea and zat eez ven he ran avay," Pavel finished.
Officer Tucker nodded and quickly got his phone out to see if his hunch about Jim was right. If it wasn't right, he'd need to phone the city police and Dean Archer to see about further steps.
San Francisco General Hospital
Reed had left him messages with his room number and so it had been easy for Jim to find the post-surgery care suites. By the time he got to the hospital, however, he was cold and a little tired, but the need to talk to someone he knew he could trust forced him to keep going.
The hospital room itself was quiet and Reed was asleep, but Jim simply got a chair and made himself comfortable beside the bed to wait for Reed to wake up. He knew Pike was with the Academy's athletes at events that day and the few others he actually trusted were also busy with other things, so he could talk to Reed. Jim only hoped that Reed was up for such a discussion.
"Who's there?" Reed suddenly spoke as Jim exhaled. "I hear someone breathing."
Jim sighed, "It's Jim, sir," he replied in a tired voice. "I…I wanted…needed to come talk to you."
Reed opened his eyes and slowly used his hands to adjust the bed so he was more upright, "Does anyone actually know you're here?" he asked in a tired voice, his expression concerned. "I heard that Dean Archer has rules in place so students aren't wandering around by themselves."
The room phone rang and Jim sighed before breaking down and crying. Deeply mystified, Reed stretched his hand out and managed to get it to his ear, "Hello?" he asked groggily.
"Hey, Malcolm, is Kirk there?" Officer Tucker's drawl asked. "He took off from campus."
Reed sighed, "He's here," he replied softly. "He's perfectly welcome to stay as long as he likes."
Jim was so lost in his crying that he didn't hear the call end, "I killed Nero and I'm the only one who feels bad about it," Jim managed to say through quiet sobs. "Why is everyone else happy and thanking me and sending me gifts? I killed Nero just like I killed his father at Tarsus…."
Reed frowned, "You did not kill Nero's father at Tarsus," he replied in a tired, but firm voice as he gave Jim a stern look. "I know that because I was there too and you simply gave information to your stepfather about what they were planning. He got Kodos to execute Nero and Ayel Senior."
"I…until Tarsus closed, Frank always said I killed them," Jim spoke in a shaky voice.
Reed scoffed, "Your stepfather was a demon in a human body," he spat, scowling. "I don't know how you survived under his hand. You shouldn't have even been in there…there was no reason."
"I…Sam got really mad at me for defending Frank and wanting to bury him and we still haven't done it," Jim spoke quietly. "Sam got the body away from Iowa State and has it at some funeral home in the city, but he won't talk about it or tell me where it is. I spent five days in the hospital after the fight with Nero and I just got out today, but I'm so sick of how everyone's handling it…"
Reed sighed, "James, your brother probably has his own demons from Frank and it's just best to let him handle that in his own way," he replied patiently. "I get that you feel a sense of loyalty to Frank because he forced it out of you, but it's not necessary. You're dealing with this and with your cancer right now and it's not healthy for one person to be carrying so much crap."
"Oh, Doctor Bashir's gonna be pissed I'm not resting," Jim mused softly, sighing as he rubbed his face. "Phlox made Bashir my doctor cause he wants Bones merely to be a support and Bashir's a really different sort of doctor. Bashir sits with me during chemo sessions and he's very considerate towards his patients. I've been a patient of Harrison's before and the two…they're not the same."
Reed looked thoughtful and Jim suddenly sighed, "I was resting at my dorm like Bashir asked me to when Spock came in and told me that the Vulcans want me to go to Hawaii so they can honor me for killing Nero," Jim explained in a subdued voice. "Around the time of Hoshi Sato's funeral."
"I know you don't want to do that and you don't know how to say you don't want it," Reed replied in a patient, compassionate voice. "Nero caused a lot of hurt and killed many, many people without remorse and even though you took his life, survivors of his brutality don't seem to understand that you aren't the kind who enjoys violence. I'm sorry people can't see that."
Jim nodded, the effect of walking for miles in the cold and being fresh off cancer treatment suddenly getting to him as he found himself fighting to stay awake, "James?" Reed asked softly, concern filling his face as he watched Jim suddenly shudder. "When was your last treatment?"
"Yesterday," Jim spoke in a tired voice, sighing. "Do you mind if I have a nap for a bit?"
Reed promptly hit the nurse's call button, "You can if you let someone look at you first," he replied in a concerned voice. "You should be resting and having fluids…not being out in the cold."
Shrugging, Jim wandered over to the couch and laid down, "I'll just have a nap," he spoke in a groggy voice as he closed his eyes. "I really don't need to be looked over or anything…"
As Jim snoozed, however, Reed knew that Jim was simply trying to be brave and that he really didn't feel well. He had plenty of time to make sure Jim was taken care of and make sure Spock was reamed out for triggering Jim in such a way, Malcolm knew; his family was out sightseeing and Christmas shopping and wouldn't be back for a while and so he could help his protégé out.
Sighing softly, Reed picked up the phone to make a call while he waited for a nurse to come.
Sausalito, California
"…Mark, there's no need to close in the middle of the noon service. I'll be fine here until you can come and sit with us. I left my manager in charge and Len's not awake anyway…"
Warmth flooded Leonard's body as he slowly woke and quickly realized that he was laying in a soft bed with a blood pressure cuff and IV adorning his left arm while a pulse-ox clip and another IV adorned his right hand. He was tired and felt weak, but had no memory of how he got…
"Len?"
Leonard turned his head and was surprised to see his mother lingering next to the bed with her purse in one hand and a bag in the other, "I got a call from Dean Archer that you were here and ill," Eleanora spoke in a quiet voice. "When I got here, Doctor Boyce told me a lot of things…"
"I've been doing so much work lately and not sleeping or eating just because I couldn't," Leonard admitted groggily, sighing weakly. "Nero's death made me remember what I went through at the Narada Embassy and I threw myself into work to avoid having to reflect. It didn't help."
Eleanora sighed, "You're taking an early Christmas break," she spoke firmly. "I saw the little list on your phone, by the way, and I had no idea that you wanted Joanna moved out here…"
"I came here to see if I could get in with Counseling Services for an early walk in, but I ended up passing out," Leonard remembered groggily. "I'm just so detached from everything because of Nero's death and all I want to do is rest. I've got so, so much responsibility, though. Phlox fired the student nurses cause they ran Doctor Bashir ragged and so we're short on staff, I've got finals, the final game, looking after Jim, and just trying to see what I need to do for next…"
A throat suddenly cleared, "Last I checked, you're not the Chief Medical Officer for the campus nor are you the babysitter of Jim Kirk," Dean Archer spoke as he strode into the room after driving to Sausalito in record time. "Doctor Kirk's probation is going well, so I am inclined to simply tell Phlox that you're off the schedule for the rest of the year and to give your shifts to Doctor Kirk."
"He's got deeper issues than me," Leonard scoffed weakly. "And Julian's still struggling…"
Dean Archer sighed, "So what, you're just going to work yourself out of remission because you don't think people can learn to handle themselves?" he asked in a stern voice, walking over to the bed. "I was going to recommend you take time off of the infirmary anyway because you've been pulling triple your load and if you behave, I might let you play in the finals against Discovery."
"Oh, Discovery won?" Leonard replied quietly. "I haven't been keeping up with events."
Dean Archer nodded, "Captain Lorca is quite happy with his team," he replied calmly. "You, however, don't seem in the best shape and you best quit deflecting from your own health."
A wave of tiredness enveloped Leonard and he sighed groggily, "I just want to rest," he admitted quietly, his expression tired. "I'm sure everything will be all right for a few days without me."
Without waiting for a reply, Leonard closed his eyes and slipped into a deep sleep, "Do you need anything from the campus, Mrs. McCoy?" Dean Archer asked softly. "If you do, I can get it."
"I'll ask Len when he wakes up," Eleanora replied gently, sighing. "Thank you for dropping by."
Dean Archer nodded and quietly excused himself, deeply surprised when he saw Spock in the hallway pocketing his phone, "I received a call from Doctor Bashir indicating that he wishes to speak with me when I am available for a conversation," Spock spoke quietly. "He is at the infirmary and he did not sound happy. I suppose I should return to campus as soon as…"
Before Dean Archer could reply, his phone rang and he quickly answered it.
"…He's just had cancer treatment yesterday, Father, so I simply told him to rest…"
"…I'm really annoyed that people can't leave James alone. He's been through so much…"
A gentle prick suddenly hit Jim's hand, prompting him to open his eyes and see that an unfamiliar female doctor was putting a new IV in his hand, "Who…are you?" Jim asked weakly.
"I'm Doctor Sarah April," Dr. April replied gently. "I'm just giving you a new IV because Lieutenant Reed asked me to help you feel better so your rest would actually do something for you."
Jim sighed weakly, frowning when he saw a blanket over him, "I'm not staying," he spoke in a groggy voice, eyeing Dr. April nervously. "When I'm done resting, I'll get a bus back to campus and go to bed. I just started walking cause Spock's visit freaked me out…"
Dr. April merely gave him a look and held out a glass of juice with a straw in it, "I'll hold the glass; I just want you to drink it," she spoke calmly as if she hadn't heard what he said. "Slowly."
Jim obeyed and sighed when he was done, "That campus is about five miles from here, so no wonder you don't feel good," Dr. April spoke in a kind voice. "Do you think you can sit up?"
Sighing, Jim did so, but stayed against the couch. He was shocked to see Malcolm awake and Admiral Reed in the room with a couple of grocery bags, "Um, hi," Jim spoke timidly.
Dr. April sat next to Jim, "Lieutenant Reed told me the story as to why you're here and I'm sorry you went through that," she spoke gently. "That's not the kind of thing you need to hear now."
"I'm still really tired," Jim admitted softly, a yawn in his voice. "I should probably go, though, so Professor Reed can hang out with his family. I can't remember when the next bus comes."
Professor Reed, however, shook his head, "I arranged a ride for you," he explained softly. "And I also called Dean Archer to let him know what happened between you and Spock. I'm sorry…"
Nodding, Jim closed his eyes and went into another sleep because he simply didn't have the energy to listen to another person speak. He didn't see Officer Tucker come into the room and immediately pause at the sight of Jim asleep on the couch looking maddeningly ill.
Instead of being loud, however, Officer Tucker quietly walked over to the couch, "Hey there, Kirk, you ready to go?" he asked in a kind, gentle voice. "I got the van downstairs."
Jim slowly woke, "Yeah, gimme a minute," he replied groggily. "Gotta see if I can stand up…"
A moment passed and Jim slowly got up, but Officer Tucker quickly offered his arm, "Hey, thanks for the chat, Professor Reed," Jim spoke as he was slowly led out of the room. "Feel better."
The walk downstairs was slow and quiet and when they got to the car, Officer Tucker settled Jim in the back with a pillow and a bucket and buckled him in before going to the front driver's side, Jim immediately laid down and was fast asleep by the time the van started back towards campus.
Tucker Hall – Starfleet Academy Campus
By the time Spock and Dean Archer got back from Sausalito, Julian had been released from infirmary duty for the day and was sitting in the common area, quietly making a list of supplies he would need for his final semester on campus. After chatting with Phlox, Julian had decided to simply stay at Starfleet Academy until graduation and then go to Romulus next summer.
The sight of Spock, however, made Julian anything but calm and he rose from the couch looking angry as the Vulcan and Dean Archer came in, "You are an idiot," Julian hissed in a cold voice. "Whoever said Vulcans are smart obviously lied!"
Spock froze and Dean Archer's eyes widened in surprise at Julian's sudden anger, "You're a Vulcan and the Resident Advisor for Tucker Hall and yet, you can't see what's right in front of you," Julian spoke in a cold, stern voice. "James Kirk is currently undergoing very serious treatment for cancer and he's also recovering from having to kill Nero in self-defense. He's got a lot of physical and emotional hardship right now and he does not need or want to be burdened with the Vulcans wanting to celebrate Nero's death. Phlox heard about James's little hike and told me…"
"And you're still angry about being detained at the San Francisco Detention Complex upon your arrival in the United States," Spock replied tonelessly, raising an eyebrow. "Ever since you were freed from the situation, you have been less than positive when it comes to Vulcans…"
Julian scoffed, "Can you blame me, Prince Spock?" he replied coldly. "I am not Doctor Harrison and yet, the Vulcans have done everything in their power to remind me that I'm his son whether I actually want to be! Jim's been one of those who has actually treated me normal, as has your very own fiancé! I was assigned as James's doctor and as his doctor, it's my job to make sure he takes care of his health! Your little demand that he go to Hawaii during Christmas is not going to cut it!"
"I was delivering the message on behalf of the surviving Vulcan Elders and the Royal Family," Spock replied in an uncertain voice, frowning. "Christmas, according to Vulcan tradition, is a time during which we remember the losses we have suffered since the war and T'Pau wishes the honor ceremony to take place during that time. It will, of course, be after the funeral…" he spoke.
"I'm not sure how to spell it out for you, Prince Spock, but Jim's still going to be undergoing treatment for his cancer at Christmas time and I'm not clearing him to fly to Hawaii for something that stressful," Julian interrupted in a cold, but professional voice. "Even if it were for rest, I wouldn't clear him to fly simply because he's not medically fit to endure any sort of flight."
Spock sighed, "That is not something T'Pau would understand and she can make it an order that he be present at the requested time even if he is escorted there under guard," he replied firmly.
Julian scoffed, "Typical Vulcans always threatening to lock people up or have their lives ruined if something happens outside of their control," he spat darkly. "Wrecking Sam Kirk wasn't enough? He saved McCoy's life and yet your people branded him a criminal for life! Now you wanna ruin Jim too simply cause he doesn't want to be honored for killing Nero! Are you sure you're not more like Nero than you let on? I know that Nero took your country and you Vulcans claim you're pacifists, but that's a bold lie. You want to threaten people?! That's not very Vulcan of you."
A throat cleared and the group turned to see Officer Tucker come into the residence hall, "Hey, I hate to interrupt your little fight, but I have a very sleepy, sick passenger in my van that I need help with," he spoke in a worried drawl. "Kid threw up twice, but he just wants to go to bed."
Spock moved to help, but Julian stopped him with a glare, "So help me God if you harass James again about that Vulcan nonsense…" he spoke in a dark voice. "Do I make myself clear?!"
Without waiting for a reply, Julian went outside with Officer Tucker to the parking lot near Tucker Hall and saw that Jim was slouched against a seat inside the back of the older man's minivan. A filled bucket sat in Jim's hands and his expression was neutral, but his eyes were closed.
"Hey there, James, it's Doctor Bashir," Julian spoke in a gentle voice. "How are you?"
Jim sighed weakly, "I just want to go to bed," he spoke groggily. "Is it really far?"
Julian took the bucket and tossed it into the parking lot before gently helping Jim, who was holding the IV bag with one arm, out of the van, "Just lean against me and I'll guide you to your room," Julian spoke in a gentle voice. "I know you're tired and you can go to bed soon."
Officer Tucker watched in amazement and followed behind Julian as he carefully led Jim into the building. Spock and Dean Archer watched in silently amazement as Julian carefully guided Jim to the correct dorm room. Gentle talking filled the air for a few moments, followed by quiet.
Dean Archer moved over to the doorway and watched in wonder as Julian gently removed Jim's coat and boots from Jim before helping Jim lie down in bed. Julian covered Jim up, set the IV bag on the dresser, and then set the coat and boots back in the closet, "Julian?" Dean Archer asked.
"I'm debating about seeing if I can get a portable tank brought here and a vitals machine, but I'll see how he does," Julian mused in a concerned voice. "Do you know if McCoy's going to be…?"
Dean Archer sighed, "I have to talk to Phlox about that, but McCoy's off the schedule for the rest of the month due to health issues and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind taking some of his shifts?" he asked quietly. "I'm also going to ask Doctor Kirk to pitch in so you and Phlox don't get overwhelmed because M'Benga's going to see his family and work in clinics at Christmas…"
"If the Vulcans give their permission," Julian spat, treating the word Vulcan as if it were a dirty, disgusting word that should be stomped on with both feet. "The Games will be over by then."
Dean Archer sighed, "You and the other Deep Space Nine students became students of this school once it became clear going back to Bajor wasn't an option," he explained. "I make that call."
Julian nodded, "Since McCoy won't be back tonight, do you mind if I camp out in James's room to make sure he's all right?" he asked in a concerned voice, frowning. "If there's an emergency…"
"That's fine," Dean Archer spoke in a quiet voice. "I can stay if you need things from your dorm."
Julian offered a grateful smile and silently went to the dorm he shared with Giotto and Hendorff to get his computer, a few clothes, Kukulaka, and things he'd need in case Jim ended up needing medical supervision for the remainder of the day. As Julian got his things together into a bag, he turned his back to the door and was unaware that he was being watched by someone else.
"Julian," Julian suddenly heard the quiet, anxious voice of his friend Benjamin say. "Got a sec?"
Julian turned and smiled when he saw Benjamin Sisko there, "Oh, hey there," he spoke in a warm, friendly voice. "I thought the team had events today? I was working, but didn't Dean Ross say…?"
"I stayed behind because I was calling my father about the possibility of going to New Orleans for Christmas, but he said it wasn't a good idea," Sisko explained, a somber expression on his face. "It seems that someone told Dean Archer and Dean Ross we weren't happy here and that we wanted to go back to Bajor. We've all got friends and things we left behind, Julian. Our lives are…"
Julian sighed, "Here now," he finished, frowning. "Benny, did you take your medication today?"
Sisko scoffed, "You mean those generic tablets that they pushed on me after the attack on Bajor because my medication's too expensive for me?" he asked. "I threw them in the garbage…"
"Maybe you should talk to someone then," Julian spoke worriedly, frowning. "You seem anxious…"
Sisko chuckled, "You'd be anxious too if your choices were basically to either stay here or go to a state hospital for Christmas because your family didn't want you around," he replied cynically. "I'm not free to do anything until I graduate. All I want to do is go back to Bajor where I feel at home."
"I'd rather not, Benny," Julian spoke softly, sighing as he picked Kukulaka up from his bed and added him to the bag. "I'm going to spend next semester here and then if I can get the travel clearance, I'm going to work at the hospital in Thermopoli, Romulus next summer…"
A disgusted expression filled Sisko's face, "Romulus?!" he spat. "You were actually serious about that?! Julian, I want to go home to Bajor! I have friends in the tents who depend on me! I depend on you to make sure I can get to the tents!"
"Is there a problem here?" Spock asked as he suddenly came into view, having seen Sisko come into Tucker Hall unannounced and looking like he might be problematic. "I heard loud voices."
Julian sighed, "Benny, I want you to go back to Unity Hall and have a lie down until Odo or Jadzia get back and then see if they'll go for a walk with you," he spoke in a calm, yet tight voice.
Glaring menacingly at Julian, Sisko nodded and left the room in silence and Spock poked his head out to ensure that Sisko left without trouble. When he poked his head back into the room, Julian was sitting on his bed with Kukulaka in his arms, gazing at the floor in a quiet shame.
"You act as if you have dealt with him before," Spock observed tonelessly. "Are you all right?"
Julian sighed wearily, "Benjamin's got bipolar disorder and he's prone to forgetting his medication or simply not getting it because he thinks he doesn't need it," he admitted in a tired voice. "I'm not sure how the accident with Jennifer Sisko happened, but I'm sure his mental illness had something to do with it. It's also why Joseph Sisko has custody of Jake right now. I…I don't know what's going to happen to him after graduation. He's a danger to himself if left to his own devices and so we've all been taking turns keeping him on routines, but I'm getting exhausted."
Spock nodded, "I…I would like to apologize for how I handled the situation with Mister Kirk, as it was poor judgment on my part considering his physical illness," he spoke softly. "T'Pau is aware that James has cancer, as most are, and I can simply tell her he will be in treatment then."
"I suppose I lost my temper unnecessarily as well," Julian replied tiredly, sighing. "Oh, Benny…God, I'm tired."
Spock sighed, "If you are concerned about your friend's welfare, Doctor Phlox can assist you in ensuring that there are proper helps in place for him," he offered. "You cannot constantly…"
A sadness filled Julian's face and Spock raised an eyebrow, "The airport did not detain your team just because of you, did they?" Spock realized, frowning. "You acted out to cover for him."
"Benny was on the verge of a breakdown and so I covered for him, yes, but I wasn't counting on everyone being detained," Julian admitted quietly. "Once we were all settled in our dorm, he wouldn't sleep for three days and made Odo and I stay up with him because he was scared he was going to die in his sleep if he went to sleep! Benjamin Sisko has been one of my best friends ever since I went to DS9 Academy, but I'm getting exhausted just trying to be there for him."
Sighing sadly, Julian finished packing some things and picked his bag up, "He didn't have friends in the tents, by the way," he spoke as they went into the hall. "He'd have manic episodes on the weekends after not taking his medication and he'd be in the Tent Cities for two days fighting, messing with girls, or getting a high out of whatever he could. He'd always come back Monday…"
"And Dean Ross was aware of all of this?" Spock asked in a curious voice, raising an eyebrow.
Julian scoffed as they entered Jim's dorm and found that Jim was still asleep, "The people in the Tents and the Bajorans always kept Benny from doing anything that was too dangerous," Julian explained, sitting on McCoy's bed. "I would spend most weekends in the Tents with Odo or Jadzia or even Nerys to make sure our friend was safe. We sort of developed a routine…"
Spock sighed, "I must report your concerns to Dean Archer and to Campus Security, you understand," he replied in a voice that bordered on apologetic. "I know it may hurt your…"
"Oh, I don't care what Benny thinks of me, but I am worried about what will happen to him after graduation and he's allowed to go off on his own," Julian interrupted anxiously as he pulled his computer from his bag to do some schoolwork while Jim slept. "Most of the group except for me are refugees or orphans who came from North America or other countries. I came to DS9 because it was the only school that would accept me, but Benny…he was made to go there by the court…"
Spock nodded, "Would you prefer to wait until you can be included in the conversation?" he asked.
"No, you can report what you've seen and heard and include me as Archer thinks it appropriate," Julian replied with a sigh. "Anyway, Spock, thanks for checking in. If I need anything, I'll tell you."
Spock nodded and took his leave to the common room, his eyes narrowing when he saw Benjamin Sisko lingering outside, staring intently at the hall as if he were planning something. The sight of Spock, however, prompted the other man to leave in a hurry. Deeply concerned about what Benjamin Sisko might end up doing to himself or others, Spock pulled out his phone to call Archer.