During the formal welcome dinner for the Vulcan delegation.
Spock had spent the better part of the first hour of the formal dinner deep in conversation with Nyota, a young Vulcan woman named T'Renna and both misters Sulu.
"What division of Starfleet are you interested in, T'Renna?" Nyota asked T'Renna.
Spock was mildly interested in what T'Renna had to say. Since the destruction of Vulcan, there were more Vulcans in Starfleet. Most of them joining the sciences but some joined operations.
T'Renna's answer was prompt, "I wish to be a pilot. I have what humans call a 'drive' too be one."
Spock nodded. He had noted the very faint scars on her hands from what looked to be burn marks. He could guess where that 'drive' came from.
"Then command would be best for you." Nyota said. "They are the ones with flight training." She smiled at T'Renna.
Lieutenant Commander Sulu smiled brightly, "we're always looking for new pilots. Especially ones who have a drive for it!"
There was tension that faded out of T'Renna's body that Spock was sure that they could all see but was also equally sure that no one would comment on.
"I am very interested." T'Renna said.
Spock nodded. "I will get you in contact with recruiter who is working on new Vulcan. they can help you start the process."
T'Renna nodded back to him. "you will find me grateful, Commander Spock."
"You'll see a bunch of new things while in Starfleet then. What's been the favorite sight of your trip with the delegation?" Mr. sulu asked.
As T'Renna answered, Spock looked around the room at the delegation.
Renank was talking to Mr. Scott. A lively discussion Spock assumes based on the way that mr. Scott's hands were waving.
Doctor McCoy was talking with a Vulcan who wore doctor's robes. Next to Doctor McCoy, Mr. Chekov and Mr. Riley both of them looking like they were still at the party because of sheer stubbornness.
McCoy kept shooting Chekov and Riley concerned glances every once in a while. But Spock saw that the doctor did not break away from the conversation he was having. Clearly, both Riley and Chekov were still ok.
Spock glanced around the room again. He didn't see Jim.
Spock tried to ignore the feeling of disappointment. Jim had told him that he would be late to the event.
Jim had a meeting with Anderson Kent about his punishment.
Spock already had the kitchen staff prep some of Jim's favorite foods for a formal setting. Jim would be stressed coming from that meeting and Spock sought to make him a little happier.
He always sought ways to make Jim happier.
Spock still was stuck on figuring out how to show Jim he was a good option for being Jim's mate. All of his normal behaviors can't be amplified. Jim would find that constraining. But Spock already did a lot of what his people would expect from a potential suiter for a mate.
He was at a loss how to show Jim he loved him. How to court Jim.
The project was start but the end.
Spock would have to meditate on the issue after the party.
"Hikaru, should we go rescue them?" Mr. Sulu said gesturing with his head over to the conversation Spock had noted earlier. It was the one with McCoy, Mr. Chekov and Mr. Riley.
There was one more Vulcan with the group now.
Jolvek.
All three of the Starfleet members were clearly becoming more upset the longer that Jolvek was speaking. Even with his more acute hearing, Spock was unable to make out what was being said. all he had to go on was their expressions.
Spock had to do something to protect his crew.
Spock had done his best to avoid Jolvek for the entire party, for several reasons. He made Spock uncomfortable with his attention and he made Spock angry with his disregard of Jim's leadership. But now Spock had to do something.
But seeing Jolvek as the other Vulcan spoke to both Mr. Chekov and Dr. McCoy was hard for Spock to described. The sight filled him with a protectiveness that stemmed from the challenger Vulcan making part of his tribe upset. Jolvek sought to undermine his Captain. That was not acceptable.
After the insult about Jim's leadership, Spock didn't believe that he could control himself around Jolvek. He would defend Jim and his leadership.
It was one thing when Spock merely felt that Jolvek was flirting with him. Spock had been sure that Jolvek would do the most logical thing and simply ask Spock out. it happened a few times with they ferried other Vulcans before as Spock was now a hero in the eyes of his people.
However, they had all been understanding of his relationship with Nyota.
Spock would also the do the most logical thing and then Jolvek down. he wasn't interested. He had to try to court Jim properly first. If Jim turned him down then Spock would respect the man he love's wishes and find someone else who didn't mind that Spock didn't and wouldn't love them.
Jim certainly didn't know what Jolvek had said in both Vulcan and standard was an insult but Spock did. By implying that Spock was in charge of providing the food on the Enterprise, Jolvek was saying that Spock was the one in charge. Not Jim.
The worst insult, which was spoken in Vulcan, was out right saying that Spock should just take control of the Enterprise.
Spock was glad they were already leaving when Jolvek had chosen to say that. Spock might have done something, as Jim would say, stupid.
Now, to protect his crew, his family, he would risk doing that probably stupid thing.
"I will get them." Spock said stepping away from the group. "I will send them over here."
Nyota nodded, concern in her eyes, "I wonder what's going on? I can't see what's being said." he heard her say as he walked away.
Lieutenant Commander Sulu shrugged. "I don't know but I image that we'll find out soon enough…"
Spock ignored them after that, intent on reaching the group that was near the doorway. He was sure that if McCoy, Chekov and Riley were all upset the conversation was probably one of the same lines as the one he had earlier with Jolvek.
As he drew nearer, Spock listened to the conversation that was causing destress for his crew, confirming his suspicions.
"...I don't believe you've been under fire from an enemy ship have you, Mr. Jolvek." Riley was saying, trying to keep his tone even. His posture was defensives. He was getting ready for a fight, despite his still weak injuries.
Mr. Chekov wasn't much better. He was balling up his fists and then releasing them.
The Vulcan doctor had left the conversation apparently as Spock didn't see him.
Jolvek frowned minutely. "I have not, but I know that logic under pressure, - "he started to say but Spock did not let him finish.
"- Can lead to many problems if one ignores their instinct and reacts solely on logic. Sometimes the logic of one's instincts isn't apparent until the aftermath. Captain Kirk has demonstrated these skills many times while we have explored the universe." Spock said, interrupting him. He knew that if Jolvek was allowed to comment that thought, he would cause a scene.
The three Starfleet members realized at Spock's words. They hadn't notice him come up apparently but their relief was palpable. Spock stepped in-between McCoy and Jolvek. Spock was going to protect his tribe and family from threats.
Jolvek raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Logic has long triumphed over instinct, Commander Spock."
"it has for our daily lives. However, in the moment, such as the ones that the Enterprise has encountered, the mind processes faster then normal. Creating instinct. Pushing that aside for logic would be a fallacy." Spock said. he could construct the past few moments of conversation he hadn't been able to hear.
Jolvek was trying to undermine Captain Kirk as he mistakenly believed that would win Spock's favor.
"the Captain has gotten us out of a lot of situations." Chekov said. he leaded against McCoy, apparently tiering.
"and I am sure that Commander Spock has gotten you out of more." Jolvek said, like his word was law and he was right.
Spock took a deep breath and reached out and gripped McCoy's shoulder to stop McCoy from stepping forward. McCoy was nearly red with anger. He turned to Spock and shook off Spock's hand.
"he's been insulting Jim. Stop him or I will." McCoy hissed, his eyes cutting to Jolvek. "saying he's not the 'leader' of the ship."
"he is mistaken." Spock said, keeping his eyes on Jolvek. Jolvek locked eyes with him and didn't seem inclined to move his gaze.
Time for something stupid then.
Chekov placed his hand on McCoy's arm. "I'm tired, Len. Can we sit down?" he asked.
Spock could see the exhaustion starting to show in Chekov's and Riley's faces. But it was also clear that Chekov was trying to defuse the situation.
Or at least get Doctor McCoy away from Jolvek before McCoy throws a punch.
Apparently, it's enough as McCoy immediately goes into his over doctoring mode, ushering both Chekov and Riley away.
Leaving both Vulcans alone.
Spock watched over them until they reached the group that had Nyota and the Mister's Sulu. Nyota and Ben Sulu immediately went to get chairs for both Chekov and Riley; while lieutenant commander Sulu and the Starfleet hopeful, T'Renna, stayed with them and Doctor McCoy.
Stratified that his family was alright, Spock turned his attention back to the threat.
Jolvek didn't bother with any pleasantries and started to speak in Vulcan. "you are the better leader, commander Spock. Why do you not lead this ship with the logic it so clearly needs?"
Spock took another deep breath to calm himself.
Logic was the guidance he clearly needed.
"as leadership is not always a logical endeavor, I would imagine any situation in which I would need to lead for a long period of time to be a stressful endeavor for both myself and my crew. Captain Kirk is, and always has been, a better leader." Spock said responding in Vulcan. He was simple speaking a truth he has explained to enough people that he's almost bored of the answer. "I have no wish to lead a ship like this and I am content to stay here, where I belong." He finished.
Jolvek shook his head. Spock wondered what had given him the idea that undermining Jim Kirk was the way to Spock's heart.
"you are clearly to use to dealing with humans of you believe that." he said, reaching over to a nearby table and picking up a glass of wine that Spock was sure wouldn't inebriate a Vulcan. "you are clearly the leader of this ship. you should deserve the title of Captain as well."
Spock tilted his head, feigned curiosity. "what makes you believe that I am the leader of this ship."
Jolvek gave him a look that said Spock was being obtuse on purposes. "you are the most intelligent person here. You have lead the efforts with my delegation. You have set protective orders for the crew. You are the one they turn to defend the crew from others. All of which are signs of a leader."
Spock stared at the Vulcan before him. He was wrong on every point.
Spock was sure that, while he was among the smartest people onboard the Enterprise, he wasn't the smartest person. That title most likely went to one of the lower command officer's wife who was writing her fourth doctoral thesis. He was also sure that on a ship full of genius, being the 'smartest' wasn't much of a prize.
Spock lead the efforts with the Vulcan delegation for two reasons. One, because he was Vulcan. two, Jim was tied up in dealing with the aftermath of the explosion in Engineering and the fallout from Kent's mistakes. Jim didn't have time for the politics of a formal visit and transport yet. He will soon.
He didn't know where Jolvek had read the standing orders of the ship, the 'protective orders' but those were Jim's choices of orders. Over the years, even if Spock had questioned some of them when he first read them, it had been proven time and time again, that they were good orders. They were also Jim's.
For the last very wrong reason, it was because the crew knew that Spock would protect Jim. No matter what. Spock would protect Jim.
Spock had the sudden realization that since he was doing so much already to prove he was a good mate to Jim that maybe he should talk to Jim and ask him out.
Logically.
He would have to do research on this and more direct ways of human flirting before he would make such a move.
But first he had a suiter to dismiss. "Jolvek, you have fundamentally misunderstood what being on this ship is like, and the people on it. Jim Kirk is a great leader that is the Captain and I will not tolerate hearing him so insulted. So, say your true purpose before I ask you to leave the dinner."
Jolvek looked momentarily surprise but he smoothed his expression out soon enough. "Then, Spock of Serek and Amanda, I would like to propose a tradition mating ceremony between you and me."
Spock didn't even hesitate. "no."
"I believe that we are compatible." Jolvek said. Spock doubted that they would be compatible mentally. "we are not mated, nor promised, not anymore. We cannot have children. And we are uncommonly intelligent. We are compatible."
Spock was pretty sure that he doubted the shared 'uncommonly intelligent' comment more than he doubted their capability. But he was also sure that it was his repeated exposure to his friends on the senior bridge crew that caused his sarcastic thought of 'for us to share intelligence, then clearly I have to be dead for several days'
He didn't say that but he wanted to.
"no." Spock repeated.
"why not." Jolvek demanded. "we would be excellent."
Spock leveled him a cool look. One that did not book an argument to whatever he was about to say. The look was favorite of his when he was dealing with diplomatic scientists and new junior science staff.
"I am not attracted to you. I have a potential mate. My father would never approve. And last, I can have children. I've been tested for my reproductive captaiblites." Spock didn't say that his father had asked him to find out after the loss of Vulcan.
He also was relying on his father disapproving of a match between him and Jolvek because of Jolvek's social strata. He knew that such things were going away on Vulcan because of the rapid loss of population but some of the old traditions still held on.
Jim was a hero. Heroes, even in the post enlightenment society of the past several thousand years, were revered. They were of the highest strata. Heroes often started clans. Jim's father was a hero and his mother were one too; Spock had heard of the way she had fought several admirals and then many soldiers to save her son from Tarsus. Jim was from a Clan of heroes.
The door near them opened up to reveal Jim. Spock's eyes were always drawn to him. Something about Jim's presence drew Spock from where ever he was and Spock long stopped fighting it.
Jim stood in his dinner dress uniform, like all of the Starfleet officers, but Jim's was a gold that was nearly green. It made his already bright eyes, even brighter.
He looked like a warrior.
Spock was once again struck with how much he was in love with Jim kirk and how long he had missed it before finally understating.
"your eyes follow him." Jolvek said. had he been human, Spock would have said he hissed the words out. "he's just a human. Your father would never approve him either." he took a deep drink of the glass of wine he was still holding. It was nearly empty by the time he was done with the pull.
Jolvek was still speaking in Vulcan. it was a rudeness that Spock would stop soon as Jim made his way over to them. Jim stopped and grabbed two glasses of the wine that Jolvek was drinking.
"he's a hero." Spock said simply, knowing that Jolvek would understand.
"Be prepared, Spock. I will gain your hand." Jolvek spat as Jim got closer.
Spock took his eyes off of Jim for the first time, side glancing at Jolvek. "I don't believe you will. Please enjoy the dinner." He said as Jolvek glared at Jim before walking away.
Jim arrived and watched Jolvek's exit with a bemused expression. "does he not like me or something?"
Spock said, "or something."
"wine?" Jim said, holding up one of the glasses.
Spock took it. "yes please," he said. they both watched the party for a few moments. "how did the conversation go with Mr. Kent?" he asked.
Jim sighed. "he understood why. He was relieved that the order to keep silent was rescinded. He's hoping with some time with the Starfleet shrinks he'll be able to be ground posted somewhere. I think it's possible but it will all depend on him. The admirals will decide what to do with him once he's on earth base." Jim didn't look happy. but nothing about this situation was good.
Spock understood. Jim was upset that a crewman felt like had struggle under pressure from an external Starfleet presence alone and it had damaged the ship. he was still upset that said crewman was still under constant supervision.
It was a hard situation.
Jim shook his head, dismissing the subject. "what where you talking about with Jolvek? You were speaking in Vulcan." he said, turning his curious gaze on Spock.
"merely social things." Spock said. he had already dismissed the idea of using Jolvek to make Jim jealously. he didn't want to give Jolvek hope that Spock was going to be interested in him and he wasn't about to undermine his efforts to show he was good mate by teasing that others are also seeing that.
Jim laughed. "I don't believe you." He said but he also didn't push any further. "any way, you're conversation remined me of something. we're still meeting after dinner, right?"
"yes Jim. We are." Spock said. it was standard that they meet before either of them rests to play chess or talk.
Perhaps Spock should start there in figuring out if Jim could see him as more than a friend.
"excellent there's something I want to show you." Jim said, smiling in a soft way that Spock had never seen him do with anyone other then the crew. He was also giving Spock that smile a lot more recently.
Spock decided to allow himself to feel hopeful.
The next day, on star base 180's space dock.
"Pavel!"
Pavel looked up from the padd he had in his hands. He wasn't back on duty yet but he was going to be the next day. His navigators had gotten him the information for the next warp jumps and their destination of New Vulcan.
He had been sitting and watching the crew sort the cargo the ship was taking on to be delivered to New Vulcan while reading the padd on a bench near the ship's ramp.
Camelia was walking quickly toward him, a sea bag on her shoulders and a travel bag in her hand.
Pavel took in her appearance with surprise. She wasn't in Starfleet uniform.
Last, he had heard, she had refused shore leave to stay with Kent, her brother. "Camelia." He said, slightly weary. The last time they had spoken, Len and Pavel had walked into a fight between her and her brother in front of the med bay.
"I'm glad I caught you." She said. she straightened her skirt as she reached him. "I wasn't sure if I was going to see you before I left."
Pavel felt his eyebrows raise up on his forehead. "you're leaving?" he asked.
Pavel felt like he had missed a lot of gossip while he was in med bay that had spread across the ship. he heard some of the latest stories but not all of them. Clearly this was one of ones he missed. It felt like he was missing a large part of this conversation.
Camelia nodded. "the paperwork got approved today. I'm leaving with Andy."
"Kent's leaving tonight." Pavel said. this he knew. Kent had asked to see both him and riley before he was sent back to Starfleet headquarters for evaluation.
When he had Riley had gone to see him, Kent had apologized to both of them. Saying it was his fault and he should have spoken to someone.
Chekov told him that while yes, he should have spoken to someone, he didn't blame Kent for not knowing what to do and letting it distract him. Riley echoed the statement. Kent had looked relived. Pavel felt sorry for Kent, but his evaluation at Starfleet headquarters will decided what happens in his career.
Kent hadn't mentioned his sister once in the whole conversation.
Camelia nodded. "yes, he is. I walked the paperwork myself around to get everything singed and approved in time. I'm not leaving Andy alone on Earth with my father." She said.
That made sense with what little gossip Pavel had heard. If the rumors were to be believed (and with how tight lipped the Captain, Len, and Scotty were about the whole thing, they were true) then Captain Warrington was an asshole for more concrete reasons then turning a family dinner into a recruitment spiel and Pavel was right to turn him down.
"oh," Pavel said, not really knowing what to say, "that's good. That you want to stay with your brother."
Camelia sighed, "I just can't leave him to face father alone. that would wrong."
"I don't know," Pavel said, unable to stop himself, knowing it would probably get him slapped again, "you seemed pretty happy about being with your father last time. I didn't find out that Kent was your brother until after the accident. You two didn't mention him."
He shouldn't be so cruel but they did date for four months before she had suggested the dinner to meet her parents. As her father was a Captain who had his own ship and Pavel, at the time, was thinking she might be the one to be serious with, agreed.
Not once did she mention her brother. she had talked about Kent. But always as her friend never as her brother.
Camelia flinched. "I deserved that," she said. "it's not right and I'm going to do better for Kent. I'm sorry for never mentioning him. I've listened to my father and ignored the pain it was causing Kent." She looked angry with herself. She looked away and watched the crew of the Enterprise do their work.
Pavel wasn't sure if he could fully understand why she was so damn eager to follow her father that she hurt her own brother, but that wasn't his place to fix. "does Kent know that?" he asked instead.
Camelia looked back at him and paused, like she was unsure of the answer. "I think so. But I don't know if he believes it yet." She said slowly.
"then I would make sure that he knows it. don't prove his disbelief right," Pavel said firmly. He might not know why Camelia made the choices she did or why her father was an asshole, but he did know this: if you claim to be by someone's side always then you prove it by being there.
"I will." Camelia said, a look of demarcation in her eyes. That look was new. Something that was missing in their relationship. Pavel felt pretty sure that he could trust Camelia to help Kent and ignore her father.
"good." Pavel said, meaning it. "Then I wish you luck, Camelia."
Camelia smiled. "thank you, Pavel. I wanted to tell you something though." She said shifting her weight. Sea bags were always heavy.
Pavel looked up at her in question.
She took a deep breath then said, "I hope you are happy with Doctor McCoy, Pavel. He's a good man and didn't deserve my insults. I am sorry that I forced you into the dinner with my family. I hope you have a good life, Pavel." She looked in the eyes as she spoke.
Pavel smiled. "I am happy but it's not a problem with the dinner. Just be careful in the future. Surprises like that dinner was aren't good. And thank you, I am very happy with Len. he's the best."
"he really is the best at his job." Camelia said then her comm unit beeped. She reached for it with her free hand and saw the time. "that was a reminder. I've got to go."
Pavel waved but didn't bother standing up. Camelia was nurse. She would understand. "then fair winds and safe seas." He said, echoing a tradition for transferring sailors that even now in the age of space travel was still considered good luck.
Camelia nodded again, a soft smile on her face. "thank you. Be safe yourself, McCoy will go insane again to fix you."
Pavel laughed as she waved and left.
As she disappeared into the crowd that was always near the docks of a star base, a voice startled Pavel out of his staring.
"she's right you know. Don't get yourself injured. I'll go crazy trying to fix you." Len said from just above him. "drink this. I don't need you dropping from dehydration on top of everything." He held out a water bottle for Pavel to take.
Pavel turned around and smiled up at his lover. "I am sure you will fix me no matter what." He took the bottle gratefully. He was very thirsty.
For more then just water.
Len grumbled as he came down close enough to kiss, so Pavel did. "just please do it less. You and Jim are terrible, pasha. I don't know how much my old heart can take." He said after the broke apart. But he was smiling.
Pavel smiled back, he knew he looked besotted and he didn't care. "you aren't old. But once I'm all better you'll be doing you best to keep up with me." He said, just to watch the pleased flush develop on Len's face.
And true enough Len blush a light red. "god, Pasha, you are going to kill me." He said as he motioned for Pavel to scoot forward slightly and he settled himself behind Pavel and wrapped his arms around him.
"a little death," Pavel said cheeky, unrepented, and completely ignoring Len's sputtering laughter. "I love you." He said, leaning back into the embrace. He hadn't realized that Len would be a very handsy boyfriend, but every day they spent time together, Len always had a hand on him somehow. It was like Len wasn't sure that Pavel would disappear if Len let go.
Len laughed, loud and happy. "I love you too, pasha-love," He said as he hugged Pavel tighter.
In the Captain's quarters that night
"I'm a coward Bones." Jim moaned from the table. He watched his friends eye him for a moment then take a drink of their beers. The three of them were enjoying some time together. Uhura had musical practice with Spock and Chekov was with the Sulu's tonight, celebrating Chekov's recovery.
Scotty was covering up a laugh and Jim knew it. Bones wasn't even covering one up. He was drinking in preparation of laughing at Jim's pain.
"well you should do something about that then." Bones said, unsympathetic. "worked out well for us." He was sprawled out Jim's bed, lounging like they were still at the academy and didn't have chairs in their dorm.
Jim glared at him. "bull shit. Chekov ask you out first! Don't think you can trick me into thinking that you did anything there." he cut a glance to Scotty, who was still laughing into his beer. "you don't get to say anything either. I heard Uhura ask you out." Jim paused and though about that convention. "kind. Anyway! It wasn't your initiative there either!"
Jim was well aware that he was edging towards tipsy. He had finished his own beer about ten minutes ago and wasn't reaching for another one. He had a glass of water in front of him.
He just needed something after his failure the night before.
"Captain. It can't be that bad," Scotty said, laughing at Jim. he wasn't hiding anymore. Scotty was opening laughing at his Captain.
No one in this room had respect for him, Jim pouted. He took a drink of water.
"it is that bad." Jim said, making a snap decision that he would probably regrets when he thinks about it in the morning.
He was drunk enough to reach into the desk and pull a letter out from its home in the top drawer of his desk and place it on the table.
It was handwritten, clearly been opened and refolded many times, and it was written in Vulcan.
Both Scotty and Bones stop laughing to stare at the letter.
"it is that bad," Jim repeated.
Bones reached forward from the bed and picked the letter up from the desk. he treated with caution, as if he was afraid to rip the delicate paper. Jim knew the paper would be fine. He had opened the letter up often enough for the last few years since he had received it.
"Jim," he said after a moment of looking at the letter. "did your middle school write your crush a confession notes?" he sounded incredulous. He recognized Jim's handwriting. They had roomed together and, in the academy, Jim had a habit of writing notes on sticky paper for later review.
Scotty moved to look over Bones' shoulder to read the letter. "it's in Vulcan." he said sounding surprised. "you don't know Vulcan." He directed to Jim.
"apparently in about twenty years from now I do." Jim said. he took another drink of water.
Bones looked at the date, which was written in star date, and clearly did some mental math. "shit Jim. this is dated for when you're like fifty-seven or something." he said, looking over the letter with a new curiosity. "how did you…" he trailed off.
"the old man, the ambassador?" Scotty asked. "did you get this from him?" Scotty was also thinking fast.
Jim nodded. "he left it to me in his will." He shifted and held his hand out. Bones gave the letter back.
"it's in Vulcan. Know what it says?" Scotty asked as he went back his chair in front of Jim's desk.
"nope. The only two people who could read Vulcan are Spock and Uhura. And I know its addressed to Spock. From a bondmate." Jim said and watched as Bones put it together. "it's not from Uhura."
Scotty, who had never seen Jim's handwriting, was still confused. "why then?"
"because the old man's vision of you wrote it." Bones said slowly. It was like he was sounding out a problem. "he gave it to you. It's in your handwriting. And you, the other you, wrote it. and it's from a bondmate."
He let out a loud sigh. "damn it, Jim! you have to be complicated, don't ya!"
Jim laughed. "you know I do. And well, that's why I don't know what it says. Spock knows its from the old man's bondmate. He was with Uhura at the time and knew it wasn't from her… it seemed cruel to ask him to translate." Jim shook his head. "and no offence, Scotty, but an angry Uhura scares the pants off of me."
"why would I be offended?" Scotty asked, taking another drink from his beer. it was almost empty.
"so, you never asked." Bones said. he was frowning at Jim and the letter still in his hand.
Jim shook his head. "nope. Never got a translator either. it somehow didn't feel right." He had tired on multiple occasions to translate the letter.
The most he ever got was the greeting.
t'nash-veh danik ashau tel-tor katelau Spock, au ik nam-tor t'nash-veh sa-telsu…
my most loved bondmate Spock, he who is my husband…
Jim wasn't able to go any farther. He just… couldn't.
He was so lost.
"you've had this for years." Bones said. he didn't sound happy that Jim didn't tell him about the letter but apparently was willing to let it go. Jim didn't regret his choice not to tell anyone about the letter.
He didn't want anyone to know. He had been fine knowing that Spock was happy and was his friend.
"yep." Jim said, wishing he had another beer to drink.
"then what's this got to do with you being a coward now?" he asked. Bones gave him a look that even when they had barely been friends and had solely been roommates (this state had lasted all of a week before Jim claimed Bones as his best friend,) had been enough to get Jim to tell the truth.
It was a very effective look.
Scotty sat up and echoed the question. "yeah, why now?"
Jim sighed and gave up the fight. he reached for another beer. Bones slapped his hand away. "no more for you. You're done remember?"
Jim nodded, raising his hands in a placating gesture. "fine, fine. I'm a coward because, yesterday after the dinner, I almost showed Spock the letter. I almost told him."
There was silence in the room for a moment.
Then Scotty said, slowly, "you almost told Spock. About what exactly? The letter or …" he trailed off for a moment then finished, "…or your feelings?"
"I don't know for sure. The letter defiantly. But maybe my feelings too? I just know that Spock has been acting differently around me and somewhere in my heart I'm hopeful and I nearly told him but I chickened out in the end," Jim rambled. "he was here and I nearly gave him the letter but I'm a cowered and didn't."
Bones sighed. It was a very father like sound. "Jim-boy. You aren't a coward if me and Scotty aren't. do you know how many times I wondered what would happen if I told Pasha before he confessed to me? Hundreds. I'm sure Scotty is the same way. "
Scotty chimed in. "I was."
"we aren't. so, you aren't. and Jim-boy, you've always had good instincts. There was a reason you didn't tell him last night. I don't know what it is. I don't know if you know what it was. But there was a reason you didn't tell him." Bones finished.
Jim thought about it.
He didn't know why he didn't tell Spock.
He had been sitting right were Bones was. He wasn't sprawled like Bones was but he had been sitting on the bed. Jim had asked him to come over that night with the intent on showing him the letter and asking for a translation.
He had heard the conversation with Jolvek in Vulcan and Jim had to know. It had filled him with a sudden desire that Jim didn't know how to fulfill by any other way other then asking Spock to translate.
But something had stopped him. Maybe it was the distracted way Spock had been staring. Maybe it was that Jim hadn't been able to get the drawer open for some reason.
Either way he hadn't shown Spock the letter.
Jim had shown him a piece of literature that he had thought that Spock would find interesting.
Jim was right, Spock had been fascinated.
His eyes had this look in them that said he was happy and grateful.
Jim was reminded once again how much he loved Spock.
But Jim still didn't tell him about the letter. Or of his feelings.
"I don't know." Jim said.
Scotty shrugged at him. "then you should think about it lad, right Bones?"
Bones nodded. "you should. And when you figure it out, tell him then. What's the harm then?"
Jim laughed. "that's what people in new relationships always say!" he would be fine. He's got his crew. He's got his friends. He's got the best damn first officer in the fleet. He's also maybe got Spock in other ways too.
Jim feels the hope and allows it to stay.
Meanwhile in Nyota's quarters
"Spock. Kirk isn't going to say no." Nyota said, frowning up at Spock. She was speaking in Vulcan in the hopes that it would calm Spock down.
Spock was pacing.
An action that was unlike the Vulcan but he seemed to be taking a page out of Kirk's book and was walking off any excess energy. And based on the ware patterns in Nyota's floor, Spock had a lot of excess energy.
"I do not see why he would," Spock said, responding in the same language, "say yes that is."
Nyota sighed. They had been having this argument for the last thirty minutes. They had been practicing music but Spock had seemed distracted and agitated.
And for good reason, Spock was debating asking Jim Kirk out.
Nyota had spent the most of the argument, trying to convince Spock to just ask Kirk out.
Because he wouldn't say no.
Nyota was sure of that. she knew Kirk and if a friend asked him out he would try it out. he had when Carol Marcus had asked him out on a date after he had gotten out of the hospital after the Kahn incident. It hadn't gone anywhere but he had genuinely tried.
Kirk was much closer to Spock then he had been with Carol Marcus.
He wouldn't say no.
Nyota had her suspicions though.
Nyota suspected that Kirk might be more than just willing to date a friend.
Nyota had watched Kirk interact with Spock for the past few months, using all of her powers of communication and understating body language to figure out if Spock had a chance.
Kirk's behavior really hadn't changed since that first shore leave.
He was still very close to Spock and would always seek him out for advice. Kirk still placed a lot of value in Spock and what Spock thinks. Even if he didn't act on the advice all the time. He referenced Spock's opinion in conversation even when Spock wasn't in the room.
There was a lot of touching. An action that in the early stages of her and Spock's relationship had made her very upset before she realized that Kirk was just one of those people who needed physical contact with others.
All of that was normal. All of Kirk's actions hadn't changed.
But what had changed was Spock's behavior toward kirk.
When before, Spock hadn't discouraged the touching, neither leaning in or stepping away from Kirk's hand on his arm or shoulder, Spock was now encouraging the touches. And at times starting them.
The first time she had seen Spock reach out and touch Kirk with something like affection before leaving the bridge, she could have sworn that Kirk blushed. It was faint but she knew a blush when she saw one.
Spock was also spending more time with Kirk than ever before. that had caused a difference in Kirk's mannerisms that had caught Nyota's eye. Kirk looked so damn happy that Spock was spending all of his free time with him. His gestures had gotten bigger and the tension in his shoulders had faded. Kirks' eyes dilated and every action that he took said that he was over the moon that Spock was speeding more time with him.
Nyota couldn't help but think maybe he was interested.
"He has not changed his behavior patterns." Spock said. He was still pacing. "He is merely closer than he was before. Nothing more. He hasn't shown any difference."
Nyota didn't hold back a snort of laughter. She had enumerated her reasons earlier. Spock didn't believe her fully.
it honestly sounded like a conversation they had months ago; one which had been about her and Scotty. Now she could understand Spock's frustration.
Because, as she couldn't see that Scotty might love her, neither could Spock see that Jim Kirk might be in love with him.
He wouldn't believe Nyota when she said had suspicions that Kirk may have been in love with him for years.
Scotty had said something a few nights ago which had grown her minor suspicions that Kirk may have a crush on Spock into something bigger.
He had mentioned that the drinking sessions he, McCoy, and Kirk had been doing on the occasional shore leave, was going to come to an end. When Nyota had asked why, Scotty said that he and McCoy didn't need to drink like that anymore.
That his reason for drinking was gone.
And Nyota knew that Scotty started to date her, after years of being in love with her.
It would have taken a moron to miss the way that McCoy had been in love with Chekov.
So, the third member of the drinking crew was, logically, in love with someone who doesn't love them back.
And based on what she's seen, the only person that Kirk spent enough time with, cared about their opinion of
"Jim Kirk will not say no, Spock. He likes you! A lot! So much so that I'm surprised he hasn't asked you out yet!" Nyota said, in Andorian. She sure that she would kick Spock if he didn't get it into his head that Kirk liked him.
Spock still hadn't sat down and it was starting to be annoying. This is one of the reasons they didn't work, Nyota thought to herself.
"he will not." Spock said, responding also in Andorian. It was game they used to play a lot when they were just friends. Nyota would say something in one language and he would respond in kind. As she had grown as a communications officer she had learned languages he hadn't so she could stump him. It wasn't her goal tonight; she just wanted to give him something familiar to ground himself with.
Or distract himself with. He sounded so sure of his conclusion that Jim kirk would not be interested in dating him that it made Nyota sigh. It was a good thing that Spock wasn't the commination's officer. He would miss so much.
"tell me why you have come to this conclusion?" she asked. "and for goodness sake: sit down!" she pointed at the chair that was near her bed. She was sitting on her bed and she was tired of looking up at him. It was causing a pain in her neck.
Spock paused in his movements. He seemed to take a moment to realizes he was pacing. Then the tips of his ears flushed green for a heartbeat before they went back to normal.
Nyota had to hide a giggle. Kirk had always prompted Spock to do emotional things.
Even if it was as small as pacing.
"because he loves someone enough that he drinks to handle the emotions." Spock said. "I have seen him do partake in the activity."
Nyota blinked in surprise. She didn't know that he had realized that kirk did that. "oh? What does that have anything to do with whether or not kirk likes you?" this time she spoke in Hebrew, a language that Spock had learned from his mother.
"he likes this other person, Nyota. I am sure he loves them. Why would he say yes if I proposed a romantic date?" Spock said, finally sitting down in the office chair she had. her quarters were much smaller than his first officer quarters so all she had was a small desk and chair tucked into a corner of the room. He spoke in Hebrew as well. his accent was much better than hers.
"because I'm about eighty percent sure that you're the one who drives him to drink." Nyota said, calm as she could be.
Spock stiffed and then frowned.
He must be really upset if he actually frowned.
"I am not the one who drives him to drink!" Spock said in standard. Nyota revised her evaluation from upset to shaken. Spock had reverted to standard. Nyota was getting to him. He was faltering in his convection. "I have to prove to him that I would be an excellent mate. And casing him such emotion, for years, would not be a conductive way to prove my worth."
While he hadn't lost the frown on his face, Spock seemed more sad then angry.
Nyota sighed again. It seemed like she was doing that a lot. Spock was sad about not being enough. It was a common enough event in their relationship that Nyota had an idea how to help.
"oh Spock, he likes you. A lot." Nyota said, her voice firm. She didn't let her tone be anything he could argue with.
"but he may not say yes. I will wait." Spock said. the frown disappeared and Spock seemed to come to a decision.
"Spock…" Nyota said almost reproachfully. If he chose to wait then the last half hour of dissection would be for naught. "Spock you can- "
"Nyota, I can't risk Jim's friendship." Spock said firmly. "once I am sure he may like me, then I will ask him out on a date. But not right now."
Nyota didn't feel so confident. She worried that if Spock didn't talk to Kirk soon that Vulcan who had been flirting with him will start to think he is actually available.
And that would be a disaster. Kirk would be jealous. Spock would be annoyed. The whole event will become a problem with the Vulcan delegation.
But she also knew that once Spock made a decision like this one there was no changing his mind. "if you are sure." She said.
"I am," Spock said, "I will wait."