Chapter 12: Sans vs The Bloons

"W-woah, w-where are w-we?" Tyrone stuttered.

"Monkey Lane of course!" Sans reassuringly replied.

Sans and Tyrone had just been transported into Monkey Lane from the strange lava portal in More-Door. Monkey Lane had, you guessed it, Monkeys! (not the racial slur) There was an ongoing war between these monkeys and these creatures called bloons. Yes, you read that correctly, Bloons, not balloons, TOTALLY different. You wouldn't believe how wrong you are! Freakin' EEDiot! Alright, sorry about that, I was going kinda harsh on you…

"What are you two fellas doing in monkey lan- hold up, you guys aren't monkeys!" ? said.

"Oh hello there… sir. I'm the terrific triangular tyrone, and this here is my boney boy Sans!" Tyrone explained.

"YuH" Sans yuhhed. "So, who are you?"

"I'm Commander Monkey" Commander Monkey replied. "I command the Monkeys here in Monkey Lane."

"What are those red things coming from that mysterious entrance on a very specific and predictable path?" Tyrone asked.

"Those are Bloons," The commander replied, "they killed my wife in the second Bloon War. She was the love of my life." The commander pulled a picture of his wife out of his pocket. She was a black Bloon. "She popped back in nam'. Hope she's floated to a better place…"

"Wait, was your wife a slave?" Sans seriously said.

"Your wife was a flaming hoe", Tyrone responded. "I banged her back in hell. She had a damn-nice airhole. Once you go black, you never go back."

"It WAS a damn-nice airhole…" The Commander responded,

"Anyways, what do you get from popping them, doubloons?!" Sans unseriously said.

"Don't be stupid, Sans." Tyrone said. "They give you blowjop."

"Yes to both actually…" The Commander said. "Her corpse provided me with enough dubloons to upgrade to a Missile-launcher. Anyway, come with me. I'll show you the way to the Twilight Zone."

"The what?" Sans said.

"The Twilight Zone." The commander said. "It's where we keep our time machine and vintage tapes of the Twilight Zone."

"Balls, dude!" Tyrone said in a good way. "In a good way!"

Sans, Tyrone, and the Commander walked to the Twilight Zone. Then, suddenly, Sans heard a booming voice.

"Zoo-wee Mama!"

"Huh? Who said that?" Tyrone said.

Out of nowhere, Greg Heffley descended from the sky. He landed on the ground like superman.

"Ah, crap! I just stepped in an acid puddle! Good thing i'm immortal!"

Then AGAIN out of nowhere, Rowley fell from the sky Sailor Moon style and then crushed Greg Heffley. Greg's balls exploded from the impact, but because he is immortal, his body slowly began to reassemble itself.

"ZOOOOO-WEEEEE-MAMMMMAAAA!" Rowley bellowed.

For the third time, OUT OF LITERALLY NOWHERE, FREGLEY GRACEFULLY FLOATED FROM THE HEAVENS/HELL ABOVE, landing directly on Rowley's ginger balls. Since Rowley was also immortal, and had eaten the sandwich of immortality granted to him by supreme leader Moseby, he also began to reassemble his boy.

"Eat my boogers, NIBBAAAASSS" Fregley bespoke.

"You can't say that, that's racist!" Another mysterious voice replied.

Oh dear, here we go again… predictably out of the clouds above, four black and white penguins fell to the ground, landing on the sidewalk's balls.

"PUT DOWN THAT CHICKEN FEED, CAUSE I GOT WHAT U NEED, THE KOWALSKI AY-AY!"

"The penguins of madagascar?!" Sans exclaimed.

"Yes, it is us!" Kowalski responded.

"We heard someone say the NIBBA word and so we came down here to crucify those without an N-word pass." Skipper said.

"Now run!" Kowalski yelled. "Get to the Twilight Zone. We'll hold Ol' Fregley off!"

"What." Sans said.

Sans, Tyrone, and the Commander ran to the twilight zone. Fregley pulled out a pistol from his school backpack and ganked the Commander as he tried to run away. The Commander fell to the ground, and spoke.

"You.. should've gone for the head!"

The Commander pulled out a rocket launcher and blew Fregley (not in a gay way) into millions of pieces of flesh and boogers.

The Commander died.

Anyway, Sans and Tyrone made it to the Twilight Zone.

"We're here! Quick, let's get in the time machine!"

The time machine looked like a big banana with seats. Sans and Tyrone climbed in, ready for a potassium-filled adventure.

"Screw Fregley, screw his shoes, screw his momma, screw Greg, screw that ginger haired ballsack, screw the plane he flew in on, screw his shoes, screw his socks, I am OUT!"

Sans set the time to "racist time" and pressed the time-travel.

"To Rosa Parks we go!"