Chapter 10: The Heart Wants

It was almost midnight when Neji finally arrived home, completely mentally and physically exhausted. He removed his shoes at the door, hung up his coat, and trudged to his bedroom to grab a change of clothes.

When he opened the door, he saw a minute shuffling in the bed in the dark, and when he crossed the room to grab his pajamas, he saw Tenten raise her head to peek at him from under the covers.

"Welcome home," she greeted in a rough, sleepy voice, rubbing her eye. "How did it go?"

"Another day of nothing," he sighed in reply, going over to kiss her forehead. "I'll be a few minutes, if you can wait for the long explanation."

"Alright." She smiled up at him and nestled herself back into her pillow, and he gazed at her fondly for a moment before turning and heading to the bathroom.

One quick shower (and preparations for bed) later, Neji slipped into his side of the bed and reached for Tenten's hand. She immediately laced her fingers through his and scooted over enough to rest her head under his chin.

She inhaled quietly and smiled once more, this time the scent of his shampoo filling her nose. It was familiar, comforting. She breathed a sigh into his chest.

"I am sorry that I can't find more time to be home," his voice rumbled in her ear, and she looked up to faintly see his apologetic face staring back at her. He brushed his hand across her ear, ghosting across her hair. "Uncle is merciless when he's… in a mood."

She sadly chuckled, shaking her head. "I don't blame you for what's happened… for what it's worth, I think I'd be more furious if he hadn't reacted like this. I'm just frustrated that you have to be under this much stress. Why can't we elope once the coast is clear?"

"You already know the answer to that, love," he reminded. "Without this situation resolved, the dust will never settle. If I know Uncle like I believe I do, then he won't rest until he believes the family has been properly compensated - and if I'm honest, I don't see that ever happening."

Tenten was quiet for a few moments more, and it deeply bothered him. He let out a quiet breath and gently squeezed her shoulder.

"Even though Uncle has me on a short enough leash as it is, you know I'd never abandon you like this, Tenten. Not now, not ever." He looked deeply into her face, though the details were faint enough with the darkness of the room. "I promise that I'll find a way for us to be happy and safe."

Beat.

"... Together?" The level of insecurity in her voice made his heart clench in guilt.

He brushed a few strands of hair away from her face, pearly eyes locking with her chestnut ones. "Together."

This at least made her smile, and she leaned in to press her lips to his. He eagerly accepted, and the two lay there in an embrace for a few moments.

Then suddenly, a sharp knock was heard at the front door. Neji let out an audible groan and pulled away, squinting irritably in the direction of the door.

"What now…?" He grumbled to himself, slipping out of bed. He sighed harshly, giving his wife a pleading look. "Tenten…"

"I understand," her voice wasn't angry, yet it wasn't much for consolation, either. She just seemed defeated, and that alone hurt him more than her anger ever could. "Go, they need you."

Without another word, he slipped on some pants and a shirt, grabbed his hitai-ate, and left.

The loneliness of his absence stung more than the sudden cold of the vacated bed. Tenten merely gave a shuddery sigh before turning and lying back on her own pillow, curled up into a ball.

"I miss you already," she whispered to the quiet room. When no one answered her, she closed her eyes and tried to find sleep again.

Meanwhile, Sasuke sat on his balcony, staring up at the skies. The clouds were thin and the stars were glittering with all of their radiance. The moon was thinning, preparing for the beginning of another lunar cycle, and yet all he could think about was the past.

He sighed, the chill in the warm summer night prickling his skin.

He wished he could see her again.

He knew it was pointless to continue to moan about it, but there was a loneliness that settled itself in his soul whenever he looked up at the sky and saw the moon and the stars.

If Sakura was in Heaven right now… was she thinking of him? Was Hinata with her, and were they happy up there, residing together?

No, that was a stupid question. Of course they would be happily in Heaven right now. Sakura was one of the kindest people he'd ever met, and Hinata was just as good of a person. If anyone deserved it as their destination post mortem, it would be those two.

He sighed again, closing his eyes. If she were alive, she would be looking up at this same sky, be seeing this same moon and stars. Perhaps they would have been together while they looked at them, he and she and Naruto, together just like when they were children. They would discuss what constellations they'd see, wonder about the future, and perhaps Sakura could tell them more of astrology. His birthday was coming up, after all. Perhaps she could give him more cheer for the momentous occasion with a good prediction.

He opened his eyes and gazed up at the sky once more. Naruto had mentioned once that she'd loved him, when they were young. At the time he hadn't believed it, arguing that they were young, and what did children know of love anyway? It was just a crush, it would pass, and she would move on and be happy with someone she deserved.

But time wore on. Sakura continued to care for him in the same way she always had, although it matured as they grew older. Where once it was giggling and blushing and being shy in his presence, she had grown to be more bold, affectionately taunting him and scolding him and Naruto when need be. She no longer looked at him with heart-eyes, she looked at him with such deep emotion that it had always churned something within him. It felt different to the way Naruto, Ino, or even Hinata looked at him. It was calm, yet it felt as if it could sweep him up if he looked long enough.

And as he grew older and his peers paired off and started their lives, he recognized what that look meant. When he looked to his parents, carefully studying them when they thought no one was looking, he noticed the same look with both of them. Whether it be his mother sending his father minute glances while he was reading in the back gardens, or if his mother was describing a new bill they could present to the people, it was there, but restrained to moments alone.

Exactly two years after her death, he understood what it was and what it meant... and it troubled him more than he could express.

Sakura had somehow fallen in love with him, and he hadn't noticed? Now that he looked back, he felt so foolish for not seeing it. Ignoring that they were children, he felt that if someone loved you, it would be painfully obvious. Well supposedly it had been, and everyone but him had seen it. Instead he'd ignored it, called it a bluff, underestimating his own abilities to see between the lines.

And now… what had he felt in return? What did he feel in return? Was it wrong to pine so hopelessly for someone who is dead?

He knew that he'd always felt soft towards her in a way he hadn't for any other girl, nor boy for that matter. Sure, he and Naruto were close, but that was in a wholly platonic, brotherly sense. He'd never felt romantic inclinations towards anyone before, and when the thought struck him that maybe, just maybe, he'd had a small crush on her when they were younger, it blindsided him.

After talking it out with his mother, he'd become convinced that, yes, he had crushed on her - but it was far too late to do anything about that now. He could never tell her, save for going to the small gravestone located at the far end of the gardens, near Uncle Minato and Aunt Kushina's own gravestone. It wasn't much for comfort, but he had something, anything, to believe that she was still with them, even if it wasn't her alive.

He could never tell her. He could never discover if she still loved him as steadfastly as she had when she was alive. Had she died still loving him? Had she died wishing she could have found them and escaped? Had she died hating her killers?

He would never know the answer now, and it frustrated him. Like a song with no resolution, or a jutsu with no execution.

But now, thanks to that man… now he might have a way to bring her back. It was forbidden, of course, but as soon as he learnt how to set up the technique, he would be able to bring her back to life. Back to him. Back to them.

For now, while he worked to memorize the points of the technique and to select someone for it, he had to be patient. While he hated waiting for results, he had to remember that, if he did it perfectly, Sakura would be alive again, and nothing would be able to snatch her from them again.

He hardly noticed his Sharingan had activated until he blinked and noticed the intricate facets in the moon suddenly in full focus, a pearly gem hanging silently in the glittering night sky.

In a camp far away from Konoha, Sumire sat up in a tree, her heart aching.

She could hardly stand to look up at the moon, its gentle glow reminding her of Konoha. Her and Ino would often chart the stars together and watch for the stages of the moon. They would always wear green on days that there was supposed to be a new moon and orange for a full moon. They would try to keep up with astrological predictions.

Frivolous things that she now realized she missed horribly. She missed the innocence of girlhood and everything that came with it; her friends, crushing on boys, and learning to grow and change with time.

Of course, there was someone that she missed more than anything. She looked up at the moon again and sighed.

Was Sasuke looking at this same moon right now? Was he… thinking about her?

She knew it was selfish to assume that he still thought of her and missed her just as much as she missed him, but she could be spared that desire at least. She knew she no longer had the privilege of wishing for him, but if she couldn't be selfish, she could at least support him from afar.

She rested her chin on her knees, staring sadly at the sky. The one thing she regretted more than anything was not giving her family and friends closure. She wished she could have reassured her parents, she wished she could have properly met her adopted baby brother without breaking down, and she wished that she could have spoken to Naruto and Sasuke before she 'died'.

She wished she could have told Sasuke that she loved him. She wished she could have told Naruto about how Hinata felt about him. She wished she could have told Ino to be happy.

Ino… she knew from Hinata that the girl hadn't gotten a fiancé, but had she begun to see Sasuke in her own absence? Did she even still carry a torch for him?

Hinata hadn't really known, either; when she was mostly sequestered to the palace, Ino hardly visited, and when she did, it was strictly for business matters with her father. The two hadn't gotten the proper time to speak together since April, when Hinata had moved in with the royal family. Even when they had been together, the focus had mostly been on Hinata's marriage, and Ino's own feelings on the matter were mostly hidden away.

She still wished to apologize for hurting him so, though she had no idea how he'd take it. Of course, if she still knew him like she thought she did, he would be undeniably angry at her trick. Sasuke was emotional with those he loved, and if he cared about you, he wouldn't take betrayal like that lightly. He would be hurt, but… surely he would come back around, and they could patch things up, couldn't they?

At least she would have Naruto. Naruto would no doubt be angry that she was gone for so long without telling them where she was, but he would be so relieved that she had lived - and if she was lucky, they wouldn't draw the connection, and her status as a traitor wouldn't be found. That's if she was lucky. Like Sasuke, Naruto was awfully emotional when it came to people he loved, although he was much more open about it.

She breathed another sigh and closed her eyes tightly. The events of the last six years were catching up, and quickly. Now that the stakes had been raised, no doubt Tsunade would want to enact Operation Firestorm next, at least before the coronation. If the king and queen found another candidate for a bride, surely they'd have to enact it faster than that. She doubted they'd find someone in the month's time allotted, especially since apparently Konoha was in a great state of mourning for the lost Uchiha bride.

The plan was simple, and yet it stung. Infiltrating the castle felt almost like twisting the knife at this point. She didn't want to hurt her friends any more than she already had. Sasuke and Naruto deserved it least of all of them, and even if she had to physically make certain that she got them out of the destruction herself, she would protect them from certain death.

She paused her thoughts when she felt her chakra billowing like the raised hackles of a cat. She cursed herself. She had to be in control.

She took a few moments of silence to get her rising emotions under control, and when she finally took a long exhale to calm her racing mind, she startled when she felt something brush her right hand. When she looked down, she saw a small scarlet carnation peeking out between the leaves of the branch.

She blinked, stunned, before she realized what happened and muttered a curse aloud. She picked the bloom and studied it for a few moments before she reluctantly tucked it away, hidden within the bough.

Control. She needed control… otherwise she'd end up hurting them more, while opening old wounds she'd long since tried to suppress.

A/N: Please tell me what you think!