Hold On

The days following had Miranda Bailey smiling from ear to ear. Thinking about Ben had her floating. Their friendship had electrified her and made her feel something that she hadn't felt in a long time. As more days passed, her smile faded. She hadn't seen him since the night of their lunch date; hadn't heard from him either. And there was a slow-growing pit in the bottom of her stomach. Miranda replayed their conversations wondering if she'd said anything that could've scared him off. Honestly, she just prayed that he was all right. She couldn't even talk to Terri about it because she was gone most of the time.

For their shared class, Miranda arrived early hoping to talk to Ben. As the class started, her eyes darted from Professor Webber to the door. Ben was late. And by the time class was over, he hadn't shown up at all. "Ms. Bailey?"

"Uh, yes?" She asked distractedly gathering her things.

"Where's your opponent?" He asked.

She shook her head. "I don't know. Slacking probably," she replied with an inauthentic smirk.

"Oh, so you think I'm a slacker?" Miranda turned around to see Ben standing in the doorway. Even though she was slightly upset that she hadn't seen or heard from him in a few days, she was so happy to see that he was okay. He winked at her. "Sir, sorry, I missed class, but can I talk to you?" Miranda excused herself, walking toward the door. Ben caught her hand and squeezed. "Wait for me?" In the hall, she wanted to press her body to the door and listen to their conversation. Instead, she moved down the corridor and sat on a bench next to a vending machine. Too nervous to even pull out a book, she just waited, her leg jiggling. "Miranda?"

"Down here." She stood up as Ben walked to her; they hugged tightly. When she pulled away, she hit him.

He rubbed his chest. "Ow, girl!"

"Why haven't I seen you or heard from you, Benjamin Warren?"

He sighed. "Can we talk?"

When they looked at each other, she saw sadness in his eyes. "Is everything okay?" Her emotions had flip-flopped and now she was extremely concerned. "Ben?"

"It's my grandmother,' he said after a long pause. "She had another stroke and…" His voice broke and Miranda felt tears welling in her eyes. "I don't know if she's going to make it through this one."

"Aww, babe," she whispered, putting her forehead against his.

"I got the call and I've been with her ever since." He rubbed the back of his head. "And I'm sorry that I didn't call you."

She swallowed, "Don't worry about it, okay?"

Ben sighed loudly. "I'm going to miss class for at least another week because I can't not be there for her, you know?" Miranda nodded, reaching for his hand and locking their fingers. Ben exhaled loudly. "And I wanted to talk to my professors so I don't have so many unexcused absences." He put the back of her hand to his lips. "Plus, I wanted to see you."

Her heart was doing somersaults. "Me?"

"Yes, woman," he chuckled. "You." She shrugged. "Did you miss me?"

"No," she lied, twisting her lips to the side. He tilted a brow. "Maybe a little."

"Mmmhmm."

"Fine, yes. I did." He pulled her in for another hug. Miranda held onto him and he deflated in her arms. She kissed his cheek.

"I really missed you, Miranda." The two of them left the building. Miranda didn't know where they were going, but she liked just being with him. She liked that they were close enough that he could talk to her. He didn't just see her as a challenge—someone to just fall into bed with. He liked her. And she liked him. Ben picked up her hand again.

"Do you have time for lunch or do you have to get back to your grandmother? Or maybe you have something else—"

He stopped walking. "Lunch sounds good. I am starving." Miranda and Ben looked at each other with knowing looks.

Instead of going to the busy student center, they got into Ben's car. "Do you have anything in mind?"

"No," she said softly.

"Anyplace to be?"

"No. You?"

He shook his head. "I just want to be with you."

Miranda smiled. "You're doing it again."

"Saying the good stuff?"

"Yes," she laughed. They picked up some barbecue and he drove them up a small mountain. The two of them sat on his trunk looking over the city. "This is a nice view. Do you bring all the girls up here?"

"That's not funny," he told her with a serious face. She nudged him a little. "I'm only feeling you." Miranda was torn between feeling bad about Ben and his grandmother and loving that they were hanging out. "Mirandaaa?"

"Yes?"

Ben laughed. "I'm just talking to you and you haven't said a word."

"Sorry, my mind is wandering," she said picking up a piece of fallen meat. "You have my full attention."

He smiled. "I was just saying that I'm glad you're here with me. Even if you aren't talking my ear off like you normally do."

"Shut up," she said biting into her corn on the cob. "What were you saying?"

"I wasn't really saying anything. I just wanted to annoy you."

"Well, you always do a good job of that." They talked some more, sharing personal things. Miranda found herself telling Ben stuff she hadn't told anyone else, including Terri or Tucker. When the conversation died down in between eating, Ben moved in and she backed up reflexively. "Wha…?"

"You got something on your…" His lips landed on her cheek and then on her mouth. They pulled away and a slow smile hit her lips. "I like kissing you," he said.

"And I like letting you do it."

In front of her dorm room, Miranda squeezed his hand. "So, when am I going to see you again?"

"Well, I'll mostly be at the hospital, but I'll call you and see if I can stop by when you're not busy." Ben paused. "If that's okay with you."

"That's fine with her!" Terri said from behind the door. She opened it and poked her head out. "Hiii, Ben."

"Hey, Terri, what's up?" He asked smiling.

Terri's eyes went to their hands. "Nothing. Just eavesdropping."

Miranda laughed. "Can you go back inside please?"

"Don't forget that I can hear you."

"Put on your headphones then," Miranda told her best friend. When Terri was gone, Ben and Miranda laughed. "Sorry about her."

"It's cool." He grabbed her waist and she put her arms on his shoulders, locking her hands. They stared at each other and even though everything in her wanted to look away, she didn't. "Listen, thank you for being so understanding." She nodded and told him that it was okay. "It's not okay. But, next time, I will at least call or leave a note or something. I just know you were worried about me."

"You really think somebody likes you," she said.

"You can no longer deny your feelings for me."

Miranda pulled her head back. "And why is that, Benjamin Warren?"

"Let the record show that opposing counsel has already spilled the beans on how much she likes me." She rolled her eyes. "Exhibit B, earlier today, she called me 'babe'." Miranda gasped. "Clearly, you have no rebuttal," he laughed as her lips flapped, struggling to find words. "I rest my case." Grabbing his face, she pulled him down for a soft kiss. His hands slid up her sides, pushing up her shirt. Her hands danced inside the collar of his shirt feeling bare skin. Her body was heating up as the kiss lengthened.

"I really wish that you could come in," she whispered, running her fingers along the nape of his neck.

"I can leave!" Terri called out.

Ben gave her a look. She shook her head. "That's okay, Terri," he started. "Thank you though."

"You're welcome!" Terri said.

"I'm really sorry about your grandmother," Miranda said in a low voice.

"Me too," he said.

"I'm sure she'll pull through." He didn't respond, but he dropped his head on Miranda's shoulder. Her dorm room door opened back up and Terri dashed out of it. "Where are you going?" Miranda called after her, but Terri was gone.

"Is she alright?"

"Oh, yeah, she's just pledging," Miranda told him. "It's a real hush-hush sort of thing and I'm not even sure I'm supposed to know let alone be telling you."

"You're not doing it with her?" He asked as they walked into her room.

She shrugged. "I'll probably do an academic one, but all that hazing and stuff is not for me. What about you?"

"Nah, I'm not interested. Plus, I have a lot on my plate right now." They sat on her bed barely touching. Miranda lay back on her pillow and Ben moved next to her. "Does this make you uncomfortable?"

She nodded. "It does, but not in the way you might think."

"Good." He tucked one of her stray braids behind her ear.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome… babe." Her heart screamed as they smiled at each other. She felt her lids get heavy and her eyes fluttered to a close. "Miranda?"

She opened one eye and it landed on the guy next to her. "Yes?" She asked.

"We fell asleep."

"Then let me sleep."

Ben made a face. "Damn, you're grumpy."

She cut her eyes at him beneath the fluorescent lights of her dorm room. "What time is it?"

"Uh, 10 PM. And I have to go to my room, get some stuff and meet my dad."

Miranda sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Okay."

"I will call you."

"Yes," she said clearing her throat. "Keep me updated." Ben nodded and they stood up, stretching. "And, uh, if you need company, let me know." His entire face smiled. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what, Miranda Bailey?"

She hated that her spine shook when he said her name. "With that face."

He placed little kisses on her cheek and she rolled her eyes, loving every second. "I can't even look at you now?" Miranda shook her head. "Good thing I don't need to look at you to kiss you."

When Ben was gone, she studied some more before getting back in the bed, laying in the same spot she'd been before, staring at the empty spot next to her wishing he were still there.