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Throughout the next few months, Caius and I continued to go on our solitary hunting trips, rejecting all offers of companionship during these times. Most understood exactly what was going on, but did not dare bring it up in front of him.
Although it may have been down to spending less time with them, my tolerance of Jane's gift in particular became significantly greater. I no longer had to deal with the fuzzy headaches that usually followed the torture. Jane's power wasn't the only thing that seemed to have been tamed by my new positive outlook, unclouded by the realisation of my feelings. Caius seemed to be in better spirits, at least whilst I was around to witness.
Although our escapades were full of carnal violence, he treated me now as his equal. There was a clear boundary between our private life and everyday interactions. I no longer feared his authority, I instead embraced it, feeling completely at ease in his presence because I knew he would not let anything happen to me.
However much I tried to deny the depth of my emotions, I could not help but feel like I'd do the same for him. If anyone were to question his authority, I would happily rip them limb from limb and enjoy every moment. His presence brought about a fire in my soul that I had not felt since my newborn days.
My new passion was realised when a struggling vampire was brought before the kings to testify his innocence. Aro had confirmed with the human witnesses that the man was guilty of exposing his nature to a city of mortals in Burgundy; who'd been subsequently exterminated to erase any trace of the crime. However, he was granted the opportunity to explain himself before the council.
Unfortunately, he used his opportunity to spit on everything our organisation stood for, insulting each of the kings personally. I lost all composure when he dared speak ill of Caius. Faster than anyone else, I sprinted forwards and starting with his legs, ripping him limb from limb, biting his flesh into unfixably small pieces to ensure he paid for his shit-talking.
"You didn't have to do that, you know," Caius approached me afterwards, "I could have dealt with that scum for you, so you didn't have to taint yourself with his apostasy."
"I couldn't help it. There should be no sympathy for law breakers like that, who show no remorse," I answered, trying to hide my true motivations from him, though I knew it impossible.
Halting our stroll, Caius lifted a hand to tuck my hair behind my ears.
"You know, the new Luíseach is quite scary. You've become so... unpredictable. Even Aro is intimidated," he said, smiling at his last point.
"As if. I couldn't even scare a human at this point," I joked.
"I like it. You might not realise it, but you're more ruthless than ever - a true queen," he continued, staring into my eyes with another of his unreadable expressions.
"You really think so?" I stuttered smoothly. If I were still human, I would have definitely blushed. Caius had never been this sentimental. Did he really consider me royalty material?
"You're such a mystery, Luíseach, one minute you're a warrior queen, the next, you're a blushing teenager. I wish I could hear what was going on in that head of yours," he growled, a hint of frustration on his voice.
"I really didn't think that was much of a mystery," I whispered back, our faces now inches apart.
"Trust me, you definitely don't think like a normal vampire," he murmured, pulling me ever so closer to him.
"Then maybe I'm not a normal vampire," I chuckled, pulling him towards me, closing the distance between us. His kiss was more intense than usual, his hands yearningly pulling my body towards his as his claws made their marks upon my back.
As his hands found my waist, I felt the first compulsion, like a wave of nausea. Breaking our kiss instantly, I looked at Caius with fear in my eyes. I don't know from where this thought had come from but I felt the sudden urge to leave Volterra for good suffocate my thoughts.
Some part of me seemed to believe that if I stayed here, I would die. I would be killed. But I had not broken any law... Why should I need to fear death?
I looked at him nervous now, wondering if it was he who had caused this reaction within me.
"What's wrong?" he barked, concerned by my sudden change in behaviour.
"I'm not sure, I need to go and speak with Aro," I frowned, knowing that only he could interpret this compulsion. Hesitant at first, Caius accompanied me to go and see him.
I shared my thoughts with him and he too appeared confused. He assured me there was nothing to worry about; that I was not going to be put to death for a crime he knew I would not commit.
And so I tried to move forwards, ignoring the urges. When I was distracted by other things, everything was fine. However, the compulsion reared its ugly head during the quiet times of the day, when I had nothing else to occupy my mind. It quietly and quickly grew into a necessity, convincing me to leave. With horror, I imagined Caius looking me in the eye as he pulled off my head, all remorse absent from his gaze.
Although I understood well the ways of our kind by this point, I couldn't help but be shook by this possibility that I'd accidentally done something to violate some secret law I'd never been told about. The daydreams became such a ubiquity in my free time that I decided to consult with Aro again.
"I have no doubt that you would not willingly break any of our rules, Luíseach, but if you're truly feeling this kind of polarisation, I'd recommend that you take a break from service, as much as it pains me to say so," he confessed.
I'd hoped that he'd encourage me to stay, but Aro seemed just as concerned as I was at these compulsions. That meant that there was a high probability that I was in danger. Trying to rationalise my thoughts, I agreed with him.
"I think I'll take some time off, if that's what you'd recommend" I answered.
Taking up Aro's advice, I packed my things from within my chamber in the castle, however I was interrupted by Caius.
"Kardia mou (my heart), where are you going?" he demanded, not bothering to hide the betrayal in his voice.
"I'm not sure, but I'll be back soon, please don't worry about me," I tried to reassure him.
"There's something wrong I can feel it," he growled, grabbing my arms.
"Fy nghariad gwyn (my love), I'll be back in no time, I just need to take a break from everything, and then we can pick up where we left off," I promised, not wanting to miss out on our hunting trips.
"Can I at least show you how much I care for you before you go?" he almost begged this time.
"Okay, one last time, but I promise I won't be long, so you've nothing to worry about," I reassured, as he pressed his lips to mine, engulfing me with his lust. I felt the gravity in his kiss pulling me towards him like this was the last time we'd see each other, he didn't even care that we were on Volterra grounds and that every vampire within a five kilometre range would hear exactly what we were doing.
He pushed me to the wall of the room, trapping me with his arms either side of me, devouring my lips harder than he had before. His hands massaged my breasts with a longing that I wasn't used to. I returned his enthusiasm, tickling his body all the way down to his waist, teasing his V-line with my fingers.
Neither of us could hold ourselves back, he throttled me with one of his hands as his other hand grabbed my ass, squeezing it violently as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
His strength overwhelmed mine this time, as he forced me down onto the desk that stood in the corner of my room, his fangs nipping at the skin of my neck.
Before he could reach my chest, I placed my fingers to his lips, denying his full passion. He began to suck on them to my dismay, swirling his tongue around them, coating them with his venom, never taking his eyes off mine.
I freed him from his fabric-y restraints with my other hand. With a hiss, he lifted me from the desk and practically threw me to the ground, so that I knelt in front of him.
"Spit on it," he ordered, and I obeyed and then he grabbed a fistful of my hair and rammed himself into my mouth, making me choke on his size out of surprise.
Our gaze locked and I couldn't help but milk the situation. I rolled my eyes back into my head as I took more of him into my mouth, he tasted like the perfect balance of sweet and salty. He thrust harder into my mouth forcing me further down onto him, completely censoring my airway, not like that mattered. He kept thrusting against the back of my throat, determined to make me beg for relief. I didn't give in, digging my nails into his waist. I let him violate my throat until he ordered me to move.
Lifting me back onto the desk, he wrapped my legs around his shoulders, leaving me completely at his whim, completely vulnerable to his desires. Hissing slightly as he entered me, I welcomed his fury. He tried something different this time, letting one of his slender fingers scrutinise my backdoor entrance, doubling my pleasure. We embraced passionately and I bit him on his neck, savouring the taste of his essence.
He eventually finished inside of me, making sure I too found my enjoyment. We held our cuddle for hours, contemplating each other. I breathed in his scent which was so reminiscent of the seaside. I initially hadn't thought that we could be soulmates, purely vampires overcome with passion for one another, but I began to toy with the possibility of an eternity without him and it saddened me.
The next morning, I bade farewell to those I cared about the most: Jane and Alec, Carina and of course Caius.
I said a quick farewell to the senior members of the guard and then took my leave, running towards the sea, deciding to conceal my scent behind me. For some reason, I'd found it particularly difficult to shift recently. I could only seem to change very small details in my appearance, but I knew not why.
All I knew is I wished to head east, to try and take a break from my emotions and try to drown out these daydreams.
Thanks for reading this far, I hope you're enjoying the story!