I could feel the consequences of my nightly endeavour as soon as I opened my eyes the next morning. While asleep, Namjoon and I had moved away from each other, but even though he was lying on his stomach now, his arm was still around my waist. I looked at him for a few seconds, fascinated that someone could be so attractive and innocent and adorable at the same time, before… my body was so over everything and I basically jumped out of bed, running into the bathroom.

I didn't have to vomit, but I felt nauseous for a good while, sitting on the floor in front of my toilet - just to be sure - hoping it would fade. It got worse when I tried to brush my teeth, but made it better afterwards. I drank three cups of water and finally made myself get under the shower. Afterwards, I felt almost human again. Namjoon was still asleep, he had turned around, probably because the shower had startled him. I decided to sneak into the kitchen instead, but upon opening the door I let out a little scream.

Jin. Only wearing boxer briefs. Standing in front of the stove with a frying pan in hand and also screaming because I had scared him. I just stared at him, then made a step backwards and closed the door again. Namjoon had sat up in bed, suddenly awake. "What… what's going on."

I still stared at where Jin was, even though now there was a door between us. When I finally moved again and sat down at the foot of the bed and looked at Namjoon I was still not a hundred percent sure I had not imagined it all. "Jin… Jin is… in our kitchen. Almost naked. Cooking." "Yeah, he does that." "But…what? why?" Namjoon yawned and pushed his hands through his hair till it was a glorious mess that almost distracted me from the real topic. "I mean… I don't actually have to explain to you why he is here, do I?"

I shook my head. "Good morning to you!" He let himself fall into the pillows again and I followed him a few moments later. "Good morning." I replied.

He pulled me into his arms again and finally I started laughing. He did as well. "I am so sorry I acted like an absolute idiot yesterday." I said after memories came flooding back in. "Nah, all good. I was drunk as well. Just not AS drunk." My mind went to Jin, then back to the boy in my bed. "Somehow I really thought you guys were actually sleeping in those cute PJs…" Namjoon chuckled. "Really?" "Just never thought about it I guess. But I am so not complaining that it's not true." "I could tell last night." "Ughh…" I only made a sound before moving my hand over his mouth, he tried to bite my hand, so I pulled back.

"It's just so unfair…" he finally said. I tried to steady my upper body on my elbows to look at him. "Hm?" "You got to look and touch and I… tried to be the perfect gentleman." "You were." For a second we just looked at each other smiling. Before I finally moved my own shirt over my head and Namjoon looked almost a little shocked before I lay down on top of him. The feeling of skin on skin was simply glorious. We had just started kissing when there was a knock on the door and we both groaned, Namjoon pulling the sheets over me. "There is breakfast if you feel like it…" I heard Lauren say on the other side of the door.

"Perfect timing. But I am actually really hungry." I sighed. "Yeah… me too."

At least partially clothed we emerged from my room. Jin was also wearing a shirt now, sitting at our dining table in front of a huge stack of pancakes, a smile on his face that spoke of the pride he had for what he had just made. Lauren was making coffee in the kitchen.

"Good Morning. Jal Jasseo, Jin-Hyung?" Namjoon said when sitting down on the other side of the table. I didn't understand but I could guess from Jin's response simply being another one of these windshield wiper laughs. "Good morning." he said and poured me some OJ. When Lauren came over with the coffee she just shrugged at my look. "It just happened, okay? Get over it. When he called me last night he just talked in Korean but I know what he wanted and…" "very handsome…" Jin interrupted her, which had an almost communal "Shut up!" response from all of us, which in turn made Jin only laugh more. The pancakes were good. It was a slow lazy morning and after I had gotten over it… it felt almost normal. The good kind of normal. Spending a weekend morning with people you liked eating good food - normal. We told Lauren about the party and the boys did their best of telling her all about the weird shit happy-drunk-Ollie had done. At some point, I was laughing so hard I choked on some orange juice, which made my hungover head hurt like crazy. Namjoon was just laughing, pulling me into a hug on his lap while patting my back to make sure I wasn't suffocating.

"So Monday night?" Namjoon asked when we said our goodbyes and I nodded. Mondays seemed to be our thing. I tried not to think about the fact that they were leaving on Tuesday.

Jin copied as best as he could. "Next time I am in America?" Lauren laughed, nodded, pulled him down for a kiss and then smacked his ass to send him on his way. "Romantic" was my first thought, but then again… they said there was nothing romantic about them. And if it was alright with both of them I surely wouldn't judge. I dug the tip of my nose into Namjoons cheek, but Jin was already pulling him out of the apartment, so our lips barely touched when he kissed me good-bye.

I helped Lauren clean the table and was happy I could just go back to sleep afterwards. "I think we told Halsey about us last night." I suddenly said when I remembered. "What? Your life is weird." "Don't have to tell me…"

Monday night we met up at my place again. Usually, I would have liked to go somewhere. There were so many places I wanted to show him. My favourite book store, the High Line, that bench in Brooklyn Bridge Park where I had listened to the Smiths for the first time as a teenager and then cried all night because I liked it so much. Apart from a few years in college, New York had been my home and like so many city kids, the streets and parks had been my playground. There were always new things to discover but mostly, every corner held a memory. I wanted to share that with Namjoon. It had to wait though.

I should have known. It took about five minutes before Namjoon had scooped me up and we were making out on my bed. He was on top of me and only stopped for a second to ask whether Lauren was home. Smiling I shook my head, he copied me and then leaned in for another kiss, only to move down to my neck seconds later. I unconsciously gasped, goosebumps soon covering my upper body. "Oh, I do like that sound." Namjoon whispered against my skin, which only made the goosebumps worse.

My hands were under his shirt, slowly moving the side of my index finger over his stomach and to be honest I couldn't even remember how they got there. At first, I wasn't sure but soon I couldn't ignore the fact that he was hard against my thigh. It excited me more than I cared to admit, my legs snaking around his, so I could feel him better.

"And she won't be for a while?" he continued asking and I could only moan a "no" in his mouth. His fingers were lightly scraping at the skin of my head beneath my hair and I was about to lose my mind when he suddenly stopped, lifted his upper body away from me and I winced in protest.

"Nononoooo, I had a plan?" he said, while I just stared at him. "You… had a plan for this?"

"Your birthday is coming up."

"Yeah…"

"I had a plan for your present."

"You were going to give me… sex for my birthday?"

He started laughing, relaxing again and sinking his body back onto mine.

"No. But there was going to be a surprise…"

My mind had still been somewhere else, but now I was curious. "Should I be scared? If you don't want to sleep with me now because of it…"

I kissed him gently and Namjoon collapsed next to me, sighing deeply.

"It's not that we… can't. Or that I don't want to. It's just that I had thought it would happen then…"

Now I was really intrigued. "So there is basically a sex surprise waiting on my birthday. I don't even know what a sex surprise is supposed to be, but now I want to know…"

My hands were nudging his sides, he HAD to tell me now.

"Look, it isn't final yet."

"I don't care. Tell me. tellmetellmeeee."

"And ruin the surprise?"

"It's not a surprise anymore anyways…"

"Okay, okay."

I stopped pestering him and he took a deep breath. "So basically. I was thinking about what I wanted to give to you and I had some ideas. But then I got sad that I couldn't be with you for it and it made me think that maybe we could go on a little trip sometime after."

"A sex trip."

"Would you stop it?"

He pinned my hands down and I couldn't help but laugh.

"No. Like. Ugh, I hate saying it out loud. A… I don't know… romantic trip. Just the two of us, somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Find a nice place in the woods somewhere that we can rent for a week and just… finally spend some time together. Jin made me think of that after London. I really just want to spend some time with you. Where we aren't constantly hiding or rushing or saying goodbye."

I was almost in shock and just stared at him. It was such a lovely idea that I had no idea how to respond.

"So… obviously I had to talk to you about it before we left anyways. Because… well, I would want you to be there so you will have to find the time. But I was also going to ask you where you would want to go. Like, if you had the choice. It really doesn't matter where we end up but it is your present so you should get to decide."

I was still speechless. "Shit, Namjoon. I ordered you some books for your birthday, now my present sucks in comparison."

He smiled, happy to read that I was excited between the lines.

"So you want to go?"

"What? Of course. A whole week?"

He nodded and kissed me.

"Where do you want to go?" I stretched, still on my back. "Somewhere… hm. Quiet? With a nice view, somewhere on a cliff or something."

I could see it in front of my inner eye. "Like literally in the middle of a forest. And with a really nice big bed." He laughed again because he knew where I was going. My finger moved over his cheek, we were facing each other now.

"That is a really nice idea, thank you." "I just felt like… look. We never talked about what we are doing here, but eventually, we'll have to…" I interrupted him by moving my finger to his lips and he stopped talking.

"I know. I know. Then let's do that. Let's talk when we get back after the trip." He slowly nodded. We both understood what that birthday trip was. A test run. Some time to really figure out what we were doing. But then I really didn't want to think about it until then.

"So basically you say these sweet things and get me all hot and bothered and now we can't have sex because you had some kind of house in the woods fantasy?" I teased him, my hand stroking his upper arm. Namjoon sighed. "Come on, don't…" "Was there going to be a fireplace and a bearskin rug and strawberries…" "Stawwwpp!" He said, closing my mouth with his, tickling my sides until I could hardly breathe.

When he tugged at the hem of my shirt I was almost relieved. It came off, Namjoon peppering kisses across my chest and stomach.

We could have waited, but I didn't want to. Before long his shirt had come off as well and I was unbuttoning his jeans, when he gently moved my hands away, then moving his head down my body and getting rid of my pants first. I thought he would come back up to kiss me, but instead, I let out a surprised gasp when his mouth was on the fabric of my underwear. I could feel his warm breath through it and suddenly couldn't think straight anymore, the prospect of him going down on me just like that was all-consuming.

My heart rate picked up, my breathing got heavy and I basically couldn't keep myself from moaning as soon as he had gotten rid of the piece of lacy fabric that had still been between us. For a while, he only teased me until the sounds I made were almost frustrated in nature. I could see him smirking between my legs when he lowered his mouth to my sex and finally gave my clit his full attention. I don't know why I covered my mouth with my hand to keep myself from getting too loud, but Namjoon pulled on my arm to keep me from doing it.

"Hey, don't, I want to hear you."

That was about the hottest thing I had ever heard. I moved my hands off my face, trying instead to get my brassiere off, still baffled that he hadn't even had the time to take care of that, but seconds later I was not thinking again, just feeling.

Namjoon definitely knew what he was doing. And when I started to shake under his touch and his movements got sloppier by the second, I had trouble keeping my legs open without his help. An orgasm building up inside of me, so strong, that it was hard to not completely tense up. But when I was about to explode he just stopped.

With wide eyes and my mouth still open to get as much oxygen in as possible, I looked down my body to where Namjoon was looking up at me, grinning and for God's sake not finishing what he had started.

"Joonie" I pleaded breathlessly. But he just moved up my body again, kissing my breasts, my neck. And as nice as that felt, it was just not enough compared to what he had been doing before. My body was in shock, my nipples so hard against his chest it almost hurt.

"Are you really just…" "I want to come with you." He interrupted me before I could finish my question. His face was in my hair, my hands on his back and I sighed in relief. Clumsily I opened his pants before he took them off himself. "Condoms?" he asked when he lay down on top of me again. "Pill." I answered and he nodded.

He kissed me when he entered me and I let my head fall back into the pillow. For a second I just couldn't open my eyes, scared I would be overwhelmed, but I could hear his panting echoing through my head. When I finally opened my eyes again, Namjoon was looking down at me, his eyes heavy, his lips slightly parted. Our lips met without really kissing, while he started moving in and out of me. Maybe I should have slowed down, but I couldn't help moving my hips with his, against them, till my hands felt too heavy to keep them around his neck and fell down next to me on either side of the mattress.

"Baby, you feel so good." I heard his husky voice whisper in my ear and it made me shiver. I wanted to say something back, but all I got out of my mouth was his name ending in a loud moan, while his pace quickened and I knew I wouldn't last long. And neither would he. Together we moved as one until Namjoon started moaning as well and I realized that was my new favourite sound. His movements became erratic and just as he was about to come, his hand reached between our bodies, his fingers on my clit again and I just gasped for air as an orgasm rolled through me, moments before he came as well.

My ears were ringing because it suddenly was so silent. Only his and my heavy breathing. I couldn't help smiling as we exchanged little kisses until our heart rates had lowered again. Namjoon moved to the side, moving his head to my chest and simply resting there, while I was staring at the ceiling, not even really focused on a particular point. For a few minutes, nobody said a word. Finally, I moved to my side as well and he looked up. I knew I could drown in those dark eyes, but I managed to snap out of it eventually, leaning over to gently kiss him, Namjoon now smiling as well.

"I don't know what to say." he said, his arm snaking around my waist to keep me close. "That's okay, me neither." I admitted. "But why are we whispering?" He chuckled, I did as well.

More silence while we quietly kissed.

"So, tell me about that place in the woods." "I haven't found it yet. I figured I would try to find something after you had told me what I was looking for."

"Okay, but it's going to be your birthday as well so I feel like we should combine our wishes…"

He nodded slowly. "I like the forest as well. And in my head, the weather is a bit gloomy. There is a deck with a view and maybe a hammock. And we can read and I can try to bake and probably hurt myself while doing so. And maybe a lake where we can swim…"

My eyes were on him the whole time he was talking. Seeing his mind work was fascinating. What he said sounded so nice, it was hard to believe it could actually happen. I would find the time somehow, no matter what. At some point, he must have realized that I enjoyed listening to him, because he continued talking, about the house, how we would get there, what he wanted to bring. All while his hand was on my stomach and I just lay there next to him, not able to stop smiling.