Fifi's New Tiny Toon Adventures
Written by Artist1990
Based on "Tiny Toon Adventures" created by Tom Ruegger and produced by Warner Bros. Animation and Amblin
Based on the "Pokémon" Video Games by Nintendo & Game Freak and the Anime Series by OLM, Inc.
Other guest starring franchises belong to their respective owners.
Note: All Pokémon dialogue is translated.
(Insert New Version of "Tiny Toon Adventures" Theme Song)
(We see the Warner Bros. logo which zooms away and it transitions to the Tiny Toons circle.)
Buster: We're tiny . . .
(Buster appears.)
Babs: We're toony . . .
(Babs appears.)
Cast: We're all a little looney,
(The rest of the Tiny Toons cast join in. Mary Melody replaces Elmyra Duff.)
And in this cartoony,
we're invading your TV.
(The Tiny Toons run out of the TV.)
Buster and Babs: We're comic dispensers.
(Buster squirts himself with a seltzer bottle, while Babs hits herself with a pie.)
Fifi: We crahck up ahll ze censahrs.
(The censors are laughing)
Cast: On Tiny Toon Adventures,
(Fifi emerges from the TV smashes the screen with a mallet.)
get a dose of comedy!
(Buster is dressed as a doctor, while Babs and Fifi are dressed as nurses.)
So here's Acme Acres,
it's a whole wide world apart.
(We see a view of Acme Acres.)
Fifi: Our hahme sweet hahme, eet stahnds ahlahne,
a cahrtoon wahrk of ahrt!
(Fifi is making a painting of her Cadillac. She's wearing a French barret.)
Plucky: The scripts were rejected,
(Plucky is operating a type writer.)
expect the unexpected.
(A second Plucky head emerges from the paper, scaring the real Plucky.)
Cast: On Tiny Toon Adventures, it's about to start!
(We see the Tiny Toon Adventures logo again.)
Plucky: They're furry,
They're funny.
(Buster and Babs Bunny appear.)
Cast: They're Babs and Buster Bunny.
(Buster and Babs take off their disguises, revealing that Buster is really Babs and Babs is really Buster.)
Montana Max has money.
(Montana Max emerges from a pile of dollars, holding more dollars.)
Teen Titans are a bane!
(The TTG Versions of the Teen Titans are harassing Elmyra until Bane whacks all six of them with a large steel girder. Some of them hit the camera.)
Buster: Here's Hamton.
(Hamton is vacuuming his floor.)
Plucky: And Plucky!
(Plucky emerges from the vacuum.)
Babs: Fifi's very mushy!
(Fifi emerges and starts kissing Plucky Duck, covering him in red kiss marks. Plucky has a look of disgust.)
Cast: Furrball's unlucky . . .
(Furrball is smelling a flower until a piano crushes him.)
and Gogo is insane.
(Gogo Dodo hits himself with a mallet, splitting him into more copies.)
Fifi: Aht Ahcme Looniverseety we earn our toon degree.
(We see Acme Looniversity.)
Ze teacheeng stahff's been getteeng laughs seence 1933!
(Fifi and the other students are gathered at class. The teachers present are Bugs Bunny, Foghorn Leghorn, Wile E. Coyote and Sylvester the Cat, posing. Sylvester is flattened by an anvil.)
Cast: We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney,
(We see the cast of Tiny Toon Adventures)
It's Tiny Toon Adventures, come and join the fun!
(We see the logo again, but then, Fifi thrusts the words of 'Fifi's New' on top and joins Buster and Babs in the logo.)
Fifi: Ahnd now our sahng ees dahne!
The New Mink in Town
Ever since her sweet sixteen, Fifi has started reading more of Jason Pew's books. She grown to become a big fan of them. So after every school day, and after finishing her homework, Fifi would spend hours reading one of the books.
Today, at the city of Acme Acres, Fifi La Fume's rival, Bimbette Skunk was flirting with a random boy skunk. She had fully recovered from a cold she got after she was frozen by SuperBun and Wonder Babs. "So . . . how about it? Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" asked Bimbette. She batted her eyelashes at the boy skunk. "Well . . . I . . . I . . . ," said the boy skunk. Just then, the two skunks began to hear the singing of another girl.
It's not pretty being me
Just try it and you'll see
It's hard then you think
to be a gorgeous mink
la la da da da da de
It's not pretty being me!
The one singing belonged to a female mink with white fur, long blonde hair, an enormous soft blonde tail as well as a pretty face, pink nose and sweet big black eyes. She also wore blue eyeshadow. The mink was voluptous in appearance too and the red dress she was wearing hugged her curves. This was Minerva Mink, the most beautiful toon around. The boy skunk that Bimbette was flirting with became lovestruck at the sight of her. His eyes turned into red hearts and he let out a wolf whistle. He then began to howl like an idiot. Bimbette got angry and smacked the boy skunk with her tail, knocking him down.
The boy skunk wasn't the only man who was swooning over Minerva. Almost every male that the female mink passed by became smitten by her good looks. And if the male already had a girlfriend or mate, the male would usually get clobbered. One of the boys going bonkers at the sight of Minerva was a male Machop. He began to flex his muscles in order to show off in front of Minerva. A female Machop that was with it got mad. She executed an uppercut on the make Machop, sending it flying.
Toasty!
A male toon dog started to act wild at the sight of Minerva. But his girlfriend bit him in the bum in retaliation. Even human men were falling in love. "Men. Poor things are simply at the mercy of their hormones," said Minerva. Just then, Minerva's stomach began to growl. "I better get a bite to eat," said Minerva. And she went to find a nearby restaurant to have lunch.
At Weenie Burger, the students of Acme Looniversity were hanging out, having lunch together. The students gathered were Buster & Babs Bunny (No relation), Fifi La Fume, Hamton Pig, Plucky Duck, Shirley the Loon, Fowlmouth, Dizzy Devil, Gogo Dodo, Furrball the Cat, Mary Melody, Little Beeper, Anais the Roadrunner and Calamity Coyote. Montana Max, the school bully was present too, but was eating at a table away from the others. Pepé Le Pew happened to be eating at Weenie Burger as well. Today, Fifi was wearing her green dress. "So, Furrball, how are things at home?" asked Buster. "Well, things are much more peaceful since you know who is in the looney bin. Her younger brother, Duncan is actually a better pet caretaker than her. All of the pets like him better," said Furrball. "Oh. Zat's wahnderful to hear. Eet's nice sahmebahdy does cahre fahr you weethout hurteeng you," said Fifi. "I betcha Elmyra's going to get jealous when she returns home only to find out the pets like her brother better," said Babs. "Indeed," said Plucky.
Just then, the students began to hear a commotion. "What's going on?" asked Hamton. The toons turned around and saw the ones causing the noise were some men swooning over Minerva Mink, who had just entered Weenie Burger. Most of the male students became lovestruck at the sight of the gorgeous mink. Little Beeper was the only one unaffected. Buster, Plucky, Hamton, Furrball, Gogo, Dizzy, Calamity and Fowlmouth were all heart eyed before letting out wolf whistles. They began to howl and make other noises. Even Montana Max was going bonkers at the sight of her. "Hey! I know that girl! I saw her at a mall once!" cried Plucky excitedly. "What's with those boys?" Anais asked Little Beeper. Her boyfriend did a shoulder shrug.
The other girls were annoyed by their crushes' antics. Shirley and Fifi got out a club and mallet respectively and whacked Plucky and Hamton, squishing them into pancakes. "Don't make me gouge your eyes out, Buster," said Babs dangerously. Buster ceased swooning over Minerva immediately. Fowlmouth went up to Minerva. "Hello Minerva. It's me, Fowlmouth. What are you doing here?" asked Fowlmouth. "I just moved into Acme Acres," said Minerva. "You did, huh? Welcome to Acme Acres. Can I get you something to eat?" asked Fowlmouth. "I'll buy my own food, thank you," said Minerva coldly. Fowlmouth fell down, anime style.
Suddenly, Pepé jumped into Minerva Mink's arms. "Hey!" cried Minerva. "Ah, mon cheri! Where have you been all my life? You may not be a skunk fatale, but you're just as beautiful!" cried Pepé. He then began to kiss Minerva, unaware his stink was going off. Minerva got a good sniff and shrieked. "Pee-yew! Get away from me! You stink, real bad!" cried Minerva as she threw him to the ground. Pepé felt like he got punched in the gut by that rejection. "Le ouch. Tough luck," said Fifi, feeling sorry for her mentor.
"Fowlmouth, who was that gorgeous woman?" asked Furrball, as hearts floated above him. "That was Minerva Mink. The most beautiful toon who ever lived. So beautiful that all the men swoon for her as you can see," said Fowlmouth. The students saw more male customers going nuts over Minerva. But if they already had girlfriends or wives, they got clobbered. "Le sigh. Eef only ze boys would swoon ovair moi," said Fifi. "Trust me, sister. You wouldn't want to have all that attention," said Minerva. "No?" asked Fifi. "No. It can get annoying, real fast. I can't complete the simplest tasks like shopping or taxes without men drooling at me," said Minerva. "Le sheesh. Whaht eembeciles," said Fifi. "Yep," said Minerva.
Just then, Minerva heard some perverted laughing. She turned around and saw a bald man with a thick white fu manchu mustache and beard. He wore a pair of red sunglasses along with an orange and white martial arts gi, blue pants and dark blue shoes. As he was laughing due to how beautiful Minerva was, blood was gushing out of his nostrils. "What are you staring at?" asked Minerva. "The name's Master Roshi. And I've never seen a girl as pretty as you," said the man. "So?" asked Minerva. Roshi did some sort of hand gestures. Minerva knew what that meant and got angry. "PERVERT!" yelled Minerva. She then kicked Roshi in the balls, causing him to scream like an opera singer. He fell to the ground, clutching his crotch. "Wow. I like her already," said Babs. "Now you see what I mean about unwanted attention?" asked Minerva. "Oui," said Fifi. Minerva got in line to get some food.
After lunch, Minerva began to explore the city to get to know the place. She sat down on a park bench to rest her feet. She let out a sigh. "This isn't a bad place so far. Although, the men here can get annoying," said Minerva. Just then, the blond mink felt something rub against her leg. "Huh?" asked Minerva. She looked down and saw the one rubbing against her leg was Furrball. He purred as he showed his affection toward Minerva. "Why hello there," said Minerva. She then picked him up. Furrball blushed at the sight of how beautiful Minerva was. "What's your name?" asked Minerva. "My name is F-f-furrball. I couldn't help but notice at how beautiful you are when you walked into Weenie Burger," said Furrball. "Are you trying to flirt with me?" asked Minerva, raising an eyebrow. "Yes . . . no . . . maybe," said Furrball. He giggled nervously.
Suddenly, somebody grabbed Furrball and threw him aside. It was one of Minerva's most persistent suitors, Newt. He was a grey fur dachshund with long floppy black ears and a red nose. "Minerva. I see you decided to move to Acme Acres," said Newt. "Oh. It's you, Newt," said Minerva, rolling her eyes. "Surely, you're into me now," said Newt. But without warning, Furrball lunged at Newt and began to claw him in the face. Newt screamed as the blue cat scratched him. This was enough to cause Newt to run off. "That'll teach you not to throw me aside!" said Furrball. Furrball turned his attention back to Minerva.
"Thanks. That guy is one of my peskiest suitors," said Minerva. "Your welcome. Maybe later tonight, you and I can go out for dinner tonight?" asked Furrball. "Your offer's nice, but . . . I'm afraid you're too young for me," said Minerva. The hearts above Furrball cracked and shattered. "Awww man," said Furrball. "Cheer up, Furrball. There are other girls close to your age you can date. Like that purple skunk that was at Weenie Burger," said Minerva. Furrball's eyes widened, knowing who she was talking about. "Fifi?! But . . . the only time that she liked me was when she thought I was a skunk due to paint on my back! Although . . . she is one of the few people to show me kindness whenever I'm berated by my mentor for my failures," said Furrball. "Well maybe you need to repay her kindness someday. Think about it," said Minerva. The blond mink then kissed Furrball on the cheek, leaving a red kiss mark. Furrball's eyes widened and his entire head blushed bright pink before he fainted. Minerva Mink just smiled.
Very soon, Minerva Mink resumed wandering the city. Just then, something, or should I say someone caught her eye. It was Arnold the Pit Bull, flexing his muscles in his backyard. The instant Minerva got a good luck at Arnold, the love bug bit her due to how hunkilicous he looked. Her eyes turned into pink hearts, her tongue drooped out and her hair became electrified and formed the word, WOW. She let out a happy shriek. "Now that's what I call a man!" cried Minerva.
She was about to run toward Arnold when Arnolda approached him. "Arnold, your lunch is ready," said Arnold. "Thank you. A good vorkout builds up a good appetite," said Arnold. "Dang! He's probably the most handsome man in the city and he's already taken," fumed Minerva.
"Forget him. I'm the one you want," said a voice behind Minerva. She turned around and saw the voice belonged to Montana Max. "And why would I want you as a boyfriend?" asked Minerva. "'Cause I'm rich," said Monty. Minerva Mink's eyes turned into dollar symbols. "Did you say, rich?!" asked Minerva excitedly. Minerva was a bit of a gold digger at times. "Yes," said Monty, holding out some dollars. Minerva took a big sniff at the dollars. But suddenly, the sexy mink's eyes widened, with veins in her eyes. "Ugh! What's that horrid smell?! What do you use your money for?" asked Minerva, suspiciously. "I use them to build factories," said Monty proudly. "Factories? No wonder! It's got the smell of disgusting pollution written all over it!" cried Minerva. "What?!" asked Monty. "No way I'm dating a boy who wastes his money on polluting factories!" yelled Minerva at the top of her lungs. She began to leave. A heart cracked and shattered above Monty, with the pieces burying him. "Ouch," groaned Monty. For those broken heart pieces were heavy.
Minerva decided to go to the Acme Acres Mall. She saw Fifi La Fume's perfume shop. "Hmm. I think I'll check that perfume shop," said Minerva. Once she entered the shop, she began to look among the perfumes that were in stock.
(Insert "Alouette")
At that moment, she saw Fifi La Fume herself, arranging some a new shipment of perfume bottles. "Hey. I saw you at Weenie Burger earlier," said Minerva. "Oh. Bahnjour. I'm Fifi La Fume by ze way. Welcahme to my perfume shahp," said Fifi. "You seem pretty young for a perfume shop owner," said Minerva. "I know. But my perfume ees a best sellair ahmahng geerls. Ahlthough I weesh aht least one of zese perfumes cahn cahvair up my smell when I'm trying to woo a boy. Cause fahr sahne reasahn, eet seems to go off when I'm een lahve. Ahnyway, I sahmetimes wahrk aht ze Blahnc Buffet, wheech my mahthair cooks meals aht too," said Fifi.
"By the way, I ran into your friend, Furrball, who tried to flirt with me," said Minerva. "You deed?" asked Fifi. "Yes. But I had to politely decline cause of age difference. I did recommend that he date you," said Minerva. "But he's a caht. I'm a skunkette. I'm naht sure eet'll wahrk," said Fifi. "Fifi, you're limiting your options of what boys you want to date. Unlike you, I don't care what species my dream man is. Surely, there are boys who aren't skunks that you actually like," said Minerva. "Well, zere ahre sahme nahn skunk boys I do like. First ees Hahmtahn Peeg, who ahlso likes me. He ahsked me out to ze prahm zat one year. He ahlso took out to deennair a mahnth ahgo ahnd dureeng my sweet seexteen, we dahnced tahgethair. I deed dahnce weeth Furrbahll dureeng my beerthday too ahlahng weeth Sylvestair Jr. I first met Jr. when I zought he wahs a skunk. Even ahftair finding out he wahsn't a skunk, he revealed he ahctually liked me. So we went to see a play tahgethair. But zere ees one boy zat'll ahlways hahve a special plahce een my heart," said Fifi. "And would that be?" asked Minerva. "I hahve a peecture of heem een ziss lahcket I hahve," said Fifi.
(End Music)
(Insert "Pikachu Appears" from Pokémon)
Fifi pulled a locket out of her breast cleavage. The locket was heart shaped and it was gold and pink. She opened the locket to reveal a picture of Ash's Pikachu. "A Pikachu? You're in love with a Pikachu?" asked Minerva. "Oui. He's perhahps ze mahst hahndsahme ahnd brahvest boy I've evair met een my entire life. Hees fahce ees so cute, eet's screameeng, 'keess me'," said Fifi. "So, what makes this Pikachu very special to you?" asked Minerva. "He sahved my life frahm ze mahst hahted resident of Ahcme Ahcres; Elmyra Duff, a pet obsessive geerl. Elmyra's stupeed zat she doesn't realize ze ahbuse she's eenfleecteeng on ze ahneemahls. Sahme of zem hahve even died undair hair roof," said Fifi. "Oh dear," said Minerva. "She's een jail right now, but she wahn't be fahr lahng. But ahnyway, ahs I mentioned, Peekahchu sahved me frahm hair. Elmyra hahd deed a plahn to cahpture me ahnd eet looked like I wahs going to lahse my freedahm fahrevair. But zen, my electreec knight een sheening ahrmahr chahrged to ze rescue ahnd zahpped hair real good. Ahftair zat, we heetched a ride on a train zat cahme out of a fahlse tunnel I painted. Ze sahme train flahttened Elmyra too. Evair seence zen, I've lahved Peekahchu. Le sigh," said Fifi. Her face blushed pink and hearts floated above Fifi as she thought about Pikachu.
"How come you haven't started a full relationship with him?" asked Minerva. "Here's ze sing. Currently, Peekahchu ees undair ze ownersheep of a Pahkémahn Trainair nahmed Ahsh Ketchum of Pahllet Town. So eef I wahnted to hahve a relahtionsheep weeth heem, I'd hahve to grahduate frahm Ahcme Looniverseety first so I cahn trahvel weeth heem. I deed ahctually spend time weeth heem dureeng one summair, dureeng when Ahsh ahnd Peekahchu were trahveleeng een ze Hoenn region. He wahs aht first scahred of me, but he decided to spend time weeth me ahftair heareeng how Jahhnny Pew treated me. My time weeth Peekahchu were sahme of my mahst rahmahnteec mahments of my life. Frahm time to time, I do tahlk to Peekahchu via video phahne eef Ahsh ees aht a Pahkémahn Centair," said Fifi.
Suddenly, Minerva Mink snapped one of her fingers. "Now I remember! That same summer you said, that was when the Battle of Battle of Lilycove City occurred! You were the one who motivated everybody to fight back against those three crooks who tried to kill those young Trainers," said Minerva. "Oui. Zey were fahrmair members of Team Rahcket. I just learned my Ahsh ahnd Peekahchu zat Jessie, Jahmes ahnd Meowth were recently fired fahr mahkeeng ze orgahneezahtion a laugheeng stahck due to zeir failed ahttempts to steal Ahsh's Peekahchu. Zey hahve ze vain belief zat Peekahchu ees rahre, when he's naht. But zey're steell wahnt to steal heem cause frahm whaht Ahsh tahld me, zeir bahss said Peekahchu wahs useless een hees eyes ahnd zey wahnt to prahve heem wrahng," said Fifi. "What morons. They're sad attempts to steal your crush is going to get them killed one day. Anyway, I'm going to look around the store for a perfume I like. Remember what I said. Don't limit yourself to boy skunks, okay?" asked Minerva. "Okay," said Fifi.
(End Music)
Meanwhile, Newt was trying to come up with another plan to court Minerva. He decided to get her some flowers. As he was on his way to find Minerva, he saw somebody else was now attempting to flirt with Minerva. This time it was Dizzy Devil. "Hello, pretty mink!" cried Dizzy excitedly. Minerva rolled her eyes, but smiling an amused smile. "Who might you be?" asked Minerva. "Me, Dizzy Devil! Protégé of Taz!" said Taz. "Oh yes. I heard of you. You were the runner up of this year's Hungry Games not too long ago," said Minerva. "Me got you some flowers," said Dizzy. He got out a bouquet of flowers, which were prettier than the ones Newt had. "For me?" asked Minerva. She then sniffed the flowers. "They're beautiful," said Minerva. "Not as beautiful as you," said Dizzy. Minerva's cheeks started to blush. "Me wanna got out to dinner with you? Shall we?" asked Dizzy. Minerva thought for a moment. "Sorry. But, I prefer men who's more hunky," said Minerva. She then began to leave. "Nuts!" said Dizzy.
Not too long after Dizzy tried to hit on Minerva, another person tried to flirt with her. This time, it was a pig with long ears. "Hello there gorgeous!" said the pig, drooling pervertedly. "Who are you?" asked Minerva. "I'm Oolong. I wish to . . . ," said the pig. "Don't tell me. You want to go out on a date with me, little piggy," said Minerva. Suddenly, Oolong felt a weird feeling in his stomach. "Oh no! I thought the effects of that PP Candy wore off years ago!" cried Oolong. He ran into the bushes and Minerva heard a loud FRAP! This was followed by a nasty smell. "Was it something I said?" asked Minerva.
Elsewhere, Newt was pacing back and forth. "This is getting me nowhere. How can I win Minerva's heart if these other toons keep trying to court her? There's got to be a way to scare off the competition," complained Newt. Just then, Newt got an idea. "That's it! I know just how to scare them away!" said Newt.
Newt put his plan into action. First he painted himself black with white stripes. He glued a fake skunk tail on himself. After that, he exposed himself to garlic and limburger cheese. Now he looked like a skunk. Newt then saw Minerva walking in the park, singing to herself. He also saw Calamity Coyote was approaching Minerva, carrying a box of chocolates. Before Calamity could approach Minerva, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Newt as a skunk. Calamity's eyes widened when he saw him, thinking he was a real skunk. The gray coyote screamed and ran away, dropping the box of chocolates. Newt then grabbed the chocolates. "I'll deliver these to Minerva myself," said Newt. He then began to search for Minerva.
Fifi La Fume had finished a day of managing her perfume shop and was on her way home. Just then, she spotted Newt. The instant she saw him, she thought Newt was a real skunk too. The sexy skunkette's eyes turned into pink hearts as she started to fall in love with him. Suddenly, Fifi let out a wolf whistle before letting out a howl. After that, she turned to the readers. "Whaht? You nevair seen a wahmahn do zat befahre?" asked Fifi. She then began to head back to her house. "I sink eet's time I chahnge eento one of ze new dresses I gaht dureeng my sweet seexteen," said Fifi.
Newt was still searching for Minerva Mink with the stolen box of chocolates. "She's got to be around her somewhere," said Newt. "Yoo-hoo. Lahvair boy," said a voice behind Newt. Newt turned around and saw Fifi La Fume standing behind him. She was wearing a casual pink dress that hugged her curves. The dress also had a hot pink heart that formed a sweetheart neckline and showed her cleavage. She also wore a pair of pink high heels and bright pink lipstick. She winked and blew a kiss at Newt.
"Can I help you, young lady?" asked Newt. "You sure cahn. You're ze onsair to a lahnely skunkette's prayers," said Fifi sweetly. Oh no! She must think I'm a real skunk!, thought Newt. Fifi then used her tail to pull Newt toward her. Once he was close enough, she wrapped her arms around Newt and began to hug him. "Oh my puppy of pahssion! You're just ze boy I need to mahke me a real wahmahn!" cried Fifi. She then began to assault Newt's face with lovely lipstick kisses, making his face messy. "Ahnd you've even gaht a bahx of chahcolahtes fahr moi," said Fifi as she grabbed the box from him. "I'll put zese ahway fahr lahtair," said Fifi. She stuffed the box into her breast cleavage before she resumed kissing Newt. As Fifi kissed Newt, that was when her horrible smell started to kick in. Newt began to smell the skunkette's odor. Being a dog, Newt's nose was a lot more sensitive to the odor. He screamed and broke free of Fifi's grip. Fifi giggled. "Looks like he wahnts to play hahrd to get. I'm gahnna get you, my petite get you, my petite cheese soufflé," said Fifi as she began to hop after her. Newt ran as fast as he could, with Fifi hopping just like her mentor does. "I'm not a skunk! I'm a dog!" cried Newt. But Fifi wasn't listening.
Once he got far away from Fifi, Newt cleaned the kiss marks off and tried to pull off his fake tail. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't. The glue he used was ultra strong. "Come on! Come off! Come off!" cried Newt. Suddenly, he felt somebody tap his shoulder. Newt turned around, just in time to get kissed by a pair of pink lips on his own lips. And those lips belonged to Fifi La Fume. The kiss left a pink kiss mark on his lips. "Hi," said Fifi. Newt screamed and ran off. "Why do boys ahct like I hahve cooties?" asked Fifi, looking annoyed.
Elsewhere, Minerva Mink was talking to a toon bear named Julie Bruin at a coffee shop. Julie was an anthropomorphic bear with red hair, She wore a green dress, black gloves, black high-heels and red lipstick. " . . . and ever since I got here, all these young toons have been trying to woo me. It seems my suitors are getting younger," said Minerva. "Well that's the students of Acme Looniversity for you," said Julie. "Acme Looniversity?" asked Minerva. "It's a school that teaches toons how to be funny in show business. The professors are the veteran Looney Tunes such as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck," explained Julie. "I see. Some of them appear to have already have girls and I bet they're setting them straight," said Minerva.
Far from where Minerva was, Newt panted as he came to a stop inside an abandoned building. He let out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, the lights turned on, revealing a runway. "Hey. It looks like I'm in time for a fashion show. And it looks like I'm the only attendant," said Newt. Just then, a girl emerged from behind the curtains and walked onto the runway. Unfortunately for Newt, the girl was Fifi La Fume. Right now, she was wearing a sparkly red dress with a V neckline along with red lipstick & eyeshadow, blush, a ruby necklace and red high heels. She turned to Newt. "Dahn't I look rahveesheeng een red, dahrleeng?" asked Fifi. She then blew a kiss at Newt. Newt screamed and ran out of the building by run through the wall, leaving a shaped outline. Fifi peeked through the Newt shaped hole. She growled an annoyed growl.
Newt ran until he spotted Minerva Mink exiting from the coffee shop. He ran into Minerva and the two toppled over. "Newt, watch where you're going!" said Minerva. "You got save me!" cried Newt. "Save you? What have you gotten yourself into? And why are dressed like a skunk?" asked Minerva. "I dressed up like a skunk cause I wanted to scare off one of the boys who was gonna try to steal you from me. But it backfired cause now, this purple skunkette thinks I'm a real skunk and wants to make me her boyfriend!" said Newt. Minerva was silent for a moment. Then she began to laugh. "Hey! This isn't funny!" cried Newt. "Of all the stunts you did to try to get to me, dressing up like a skunk is one of the worst! So now, you have to live with the consequences," said Minerva. "But you gotta save me, I'm begging you!" cried Newt, grabbing onto Minerva's leg. Suddenly, Minerva grabbed Newt. "Let me think," said Minerva.
"Hey!" cried a voice. It was Fifi La Fume. "Whaht do you're doing?! Zat's my skunk hunk!" said Fifi. "I don't want him. So you can have him," said Minerva as she dropped Newt to the ground. Minerva then began to leave. "Uh . . . merci?" asked Fifi. She then turned to Newt with a lovey dovey look. Newt's eyes widened in horror. He tried to flee, but Fifi quickly used her tail to snare him. "You're naht escahpeeng me ziss time" said Fifi. Her smell was now really bad to the point that Newt became paralyzed. "Cahme. We gaht to mahke lahve," said Fifi as she carried Newt away.
Minerva Mink arrived back to her new house and sat on a chair on her front porch. She let out a disappointed sigh. "I've looked throughout the whole town and none of the men I met are right for me," said Minerva sadly. "Maybe you're not looking hard enough," said a masculine sounding voice. Minerva turned around and saw who was it that spoke. It was a tall and muscular, blue furred, male wolf with a well-defined build and long flowing gray hair. He wore blue pants and a red bowtie. Upon seeing the handsome looking wolf, Minerva's eyes turned into red hearts and she gasped in happiness. "Wilford!" cried Minerva. She ran up to the tall wolf and got scooped into her arms. "What are you doing here?" asked Minerva. "I came to see you," said Wilford.
"How is this possible? You're in your handsome werewolf form and yet it's daytime and there's no full moon," said Minerva. "You can thank this," said Wilford, pointing to part of his bowtie. Minerva looked closely and saw that there was a gemstone that was sown onto his bowtie. "Thanks to this magic gemstone, I can stay in my handsome form 24/7," said Wilford. "Ooh. I like it. Want to take a romantic walk around the city tonight?" asked Minerva. "Sure. Why not?" asked Wilford. "Thanks," said Minerva. She then kissed Wilford on the cheek, leaving a red kiss mark. Wilford's cheeks blushed bright pink due to the kiss, earning a giggle from Minerva.
Elsewhere, Fifi had brought Newt all the back to her home and up to her room. Fleur La Fume wasn't present cause she was working late at the Avery Eatery. Fifi had locked the door to her room and stuffed the key down her breast cleavage. "I guesseet's just you ahnd me, mahn ahmahre. Now we cahn be tahgethair fahrevair," said Fifi. She batted her eyelashes in a girly manner. Newt's eyes widened, knowing that he was trapped. He tried to run, but Fifi threw himself onto her. "Now keess me, my sweet skunk hunk!" cried Fifi happily. Newt screamed before being silenced when Fifi kissed him on the lips. She then proceeded to kiss him all over the face, once again covering him in pink lipstick kisses.
Minerva and Wilford happened to be passing by Fifi's house. For her date with Wilford, Minerva was wearing a pink cocktail dress with a sweetheart neckline that showed a good amount of cleavage and a low back. She also wore a pair of purple gloves along with pink lipstick. Wilford couldn't hear it, but Minerva could hear Newt's tortured screams as Fifi smooched him silly. She turned to the readers. "Aww. Don't they make the cutest couple?" asked Minerva. She then winked at the audience.
(Insert "Tiny Toon Adventures Ending Theme")
Gag Credits: Moral; erasing cleavage is unrealistic.
(Minerva Mink emerges from the Tiny Toons circle.)
Minerva: Bye bye. See you next episode.
Sneak Peek
On the next episode of "Fifi's New Tiny Toon Adventures", new students have come to Acme Looniversity. First, in "A Feline Friendship", Sylvester Jr. is enrolled and must help Furrball stand up to a dog bully. Next, Marcia the Martian, Marvin's niece joins the students in classes in "The New Girl". And for the zany finale, the Warners; Yakko, Wakko & Dot turn Acme Looniversity upside down when they become students of the school! Will Furrball and Sylvester Jr. put an end to the dog's bullying wrath? Can Marcia adapt to class life at Acme Looniversity? And can Dot get Yakko and Wakko to stop fighting over Fifi La Fume? Find out in the episode, "New Students Day" on Fifi's New Tiny Toon Adventures!
I hope you enjoyed seeing Minerva Mink being incorporated into my fanfiction. Originally, I wasn't going to have her appear until later. But after hearing how she's going to be left out in the Animaniacs reboot, I decided to introduce her earlier than originally planned.