A/N: Recently there have been some concerns regarding character ages in relation to the subject matter. So to avoid having another awkward conversation with my readers I'll go on record and keep my response short. All characters are aged up, their ages on this story are labeled in the beginning of chapter one. Also, despite the story being named "The 'Mating Ritual' of Bygone Island's Jungle Badger" there is no actual sex in this story, only suggestive themes and crass humor. Gotta maintain that T rating.
Alright, onto the chapter. Please, enjoy.
Blood pounded in his ears as Tails sprinted through the dense jungle at a breakneck pace, his fight or flight responses having been kicked into high gear and the figurative lever controlling it was snapped clean off like the twigs crunching beneath his feet.
He was on the run again, the very thing he'd been consciously trying to avoid throughout this entire predicament by catering to Sticks's whims and here he was on a mad dash to get as far away from her as possible as part of her ludicrous mating ritual. He was going nowhere fast (most likely running around in circles due to his unfamiliarity with the environment) and he'd curse cruel irony for putting him in this position if he weren't so focused on controlling his breathing at the moment.
But no matter how fast he ran or how far he got he knew for a fact that it didn't make any difference in the end. He could feel her, hear her, see her out the corners of his eyes as she was in hot pursuit with only a fraction of the effort he was putting out.
Being hunted by Sticks was like being hunted by his own shadow. He could dash from one end of the planet to the other and she'd still only be ten paces behind him.
If he wanted any chance, any chance at all in succeeding this wild hunt he was going to have to buckle down and give it his all against an arguably superior opponent. Utilize that brilliant mind of his to triumph over Sticks and come out on top as the underdog.
"Oh, who am I kidding!" Tails grunted as he ran, gripping desperately at his staff. "I'm easy prey!"
"Tails!" Sticks crowed in a sing-song voice, clearly having the time of her life. "You're making this all too easy. Come on, make this a challenge. Make me work!"
"Aaaah!" he cried, redoubling his pace and kicking up a cloud of dust as he used his twin tails to propel him forward.
He had no idea where he was going. What he needed to do was cut line of sight with Sticks and find a place to bunker down where he can formulate a counterattack. Thinking on his feet he noticed the cloud of dust behind him and came up with an idea.
"Here goes nothing!" He stopped in his tracks and started running around in circles. The gust created by his tails sent a plume of dirt and mud into the air, scattering them outwards in an expanding cloud as it obscured his appearance.
Sticks, who was watching atop a nearby branch, quickly brought her hand up to cover her mouth and shut her eyes as the dirt cloud washed over her, messily caking her fur with the stuff. When she finally opened her eyes Tails was nowhere to be found. While she was disappointed her quarry had eluded her she couldn't help but swoon at his ingenuity.
"Heh heh. Not bad, Tails. Yes, not too shabby. This is what I've been waiting for," she smirked, wiping the dirt from her fur. "Now the real hunt begins!"
Tails panted heavily as he seated himself beside the trunk of a large tree by the stream, struggling to catch his breath. He'd manage to buy himself some time with that last trick, something he felt quite proud about all things considered, but he just didn't have the luxury of taking a breather. He figured he had about twenty minutes at most before Sticks tracked him down again, he needed to turn the tide against her somehow.
He started listing out his strengths and weaknesses and comparing them against Sticks's natural aptitude. The odds weren't in his favor in terms of natural abilities and raw talent. Add in the 'it' and it would come as no surprise just how outmatched he was to the outside observer. But he did have one thing over her, his keen intellect. And darn it if he weren't going to prove himself to be the smart one of the team.
Sticks may have been better at fighting, tracking, ambushing, trap making, overall stamina and endurance, cooking, painting, cuddling and had a body honed from years of surviving in the wilderness...
Wait.
Where was he going with this again?
"Come on, Tails. Focus!" He snarled to himself. "There's no time to ponder over Sticks's good qualities! No more running, no more hiding! It's time to take the fight to her!"
Scooping up a hefty chunk of mud by the riverbank he began smearing it across his fur to mask his scent. It was something he saw in a Tommy Thunder movie about a group of special forces members being picked off one by one by a killer alien. He knew Sticks had a keen sense of smell, by neutralizing his natural musk he bought himself more time to prepare for the inevitable confrontation, as well as gaining the crucial element of surprise.
The stream provided a boon in the form of an environmental advantage. There weren't many trees around meaning he could spot her coming much more easily than if he had been in the heart of the jungle. And when they ultimately come to blows the knee high waters of the stream itself will slow her down, allowing him to keep pace with her absurd reflexes.
Lastly, the jungle provided him all with the resources needed to set up an ambush. Tough branches and jungle vines with phenomenal tensile strength were enough to set up traps around the clearing, escalating area denial that he could exploit.
Even taking the 'it' into account Sticks was going to have to fight on his terms.
Tails grinned confidently for the first time since yesterday. The hunt was on, and he was determined to come out on top.
"Well, if it's a fight you want, Sticks, it's a fight you'll get," Tails whispered coolly. "Come at me with everything you got, because I won't be holding anything bac- Ack!" he reeled back suddenly, coughing and sputtering. "Eugh, I think I swallowed a bug!"
Sticks leapt from branch to branch across the treetop canopy with catlike grace as she maintained her pursuit on Tails. She was nearing his location. It had been hard work but it wasn't anything Sticks couldn't handle.
After kicking up the dirt cloud he made sure to fly his way out, avoiding any footprints to be left behind that she could track. There was still his scent trail to follow but even that had eventually wafted away into nothingness, replaced by the ever present stink of the jungle.
He was pretty good at hiding, but it was never a matter of if she could find him, but when.
Careful as he had been however, Tails didn't take into account the smaller things she could use to track him. A tuft of his yellow fur had been caught on a branch, signaling that he had been through that specific path. Snapped twigs and disturbed animals were also great signifiers of his presence. A flock of tropical birds flapping away in the distance after being disturbed something, or someone, made it all too easy for her to find him.
"I know you're out there, Tails!" Sticks shouted through the trees, her voice echoing through the foliage. "You can run but you can't hide, I will find you!" Predictably she didn't receive a response. It was worth a shot, though.
Resuming the hunt, she leapt over to a leaf covered branch and was startled when a tight snapping sound pierced through the air. She quickly looked down and to her surprise noticed a cleverly disguised tension trap had been set up around the branch. Another snap brought her attention back to the actual trap itself as another branch swung forward at her, threatening to knock her out of the treetops.
Not one to be outdone, Sticks immediately dropped down and grabbed at the branch she was standing on, watching as the trap swung at empty air before reverberating wildly. Hanging where she was, Sticks scanned through the area to find any trace of Tails and raised an eyebrow in curiosity when she realized he had booby trapped every tree around the stream, taking away her high ground advantage.
"Hmm, clever boy," She admired. "What else do you have in store for me?"
Sticks dropped to the jungle floor, ducking behind a felled tree trunk and casually observing her surroundings. A glint past the stream caught her attention, something was shining next to one of the rocks by the bank. Squinting her eyes she could make out the ends of Tails goggles. The lenses flickered sporadically in the sunlight, practically begging her to pounce the boy.
"No, it can't be that easy," she whispered to herself. Cautiously, she crept up to the opposite end of the stream, sneaking through the thick brush and settling amongst the reeds that grew by the waters. It wasn't the perfect vantage point but there wasn't much she could do without giving herself away.
Sniffing at the air she found it odd that she couldn't smell Tails telltale scent, nor did she detect her own wafting off him. Strange, she thought. This was clearly a trap, but there was only one way to test that theory.
Gripping her boomerang, Sticks took aim and hurled it high into the sky. The boomerang whirled through the air, whistling in the wind as it collided with the goggles before making its return trip. She watched as the goggles tipped over to the side, revealing them to have been tied to a stick and propped up to act as a lure.
She was right about it being a trap, she thought as she collected her boomerang. This hunt was getting curiouser and curiouser. Tails had actually managed to stump her. A genuine smile graced her features, he actually got her excited. So much so that in her silent acknowledgement of Tails's skill she almost didn't notice him creeping up on her from behind.
Almost.
Tails leapt with a mighty bellow, well, as mighty as a shrimp like him could muster, from atop a nearby tree and dove straight towards Sticks, hoping to tackle her and claim victory.
His plan had gone off without a hitch. Sticks took the bait and he was going to catch her off guard. After all, in this situation Sticks was the apex predator. She would never think to look behind her.
Well, he was about half right on that assessment.
She might''ve been looking the other way, but that didn't mean she couldn't hear him coming from a mile away. Shouting during a sneak attack probably didn't help either.
Mere inches away from success his heart sank to the pit of his stomach as Sticks swiftly spun on the ball of her foot and grabbed him out of the air, tossing him into the stream with an unceremonious splash.
Tails swiftly got back to his feet, spitting out water as mud dripped off him in messy clumps, revealing his markings. His mind was on full alert and he unsheathed the staff from his harness, brandishing it before Sticks in an ineffectual show of force.
"I like this side of you, Tails. So spunky, so confident," Sticks mentioned offhandedly before growling and dropping to all fours, digging her claws into the dirt. "I can't decide which I like more; the meek inventor or the headstrong fighter."
"D-don't think you can psyche me out b-by buttering me up," Tails rebuked despite the trembling in his voice and the blush on his face. He took a few cautious steps back, making sure he was wading deeper into the stream. "Come, on. I'm right here."
"Yes, you are," she replied coyly before taking off at a cheetah's pace, lunging at Tails with her hands out.
Fortunately for him, Tails anticipated such a straightforward attack and used his tails to propel himself backwards, sending a wave of water towards Sticks and widening the distance between them. Being wet did little to deter her but now they were both in the water, meaning they were slowed to a crawl. He didn't know if Sticks had a way to circumvent her disadvantage but with his flight he should have an edge over her, if only marginally so.
He maintained his defensive posture, using his staff as a way to prevent Sticks from closing the gap and pinning him into submission. But even when slowed, Sticks's advance was furious and frenzied, emboldened by purpose and sheer will.
She charged at him faster than he had calculated, gliding through the water like a nymph, blocking and dodging each clumsy swing sent at her. Tails began losing ground, taking long steps back as Sticks approached him nigh unimpeded. When he finally reached dry ground he tripped on a rock and fell backwards, something Sticks took advantage of by knocking the staff out of his hand and grappling him to the ground.
Tails broke out into a cold sweat as he struggled against Sticks in a battle for dominance, their hands tightly interlocked together and fur drenched in water.
"Grr... so strong!" Tails grumbled, his arms feeling like wet noodles.
"A little late for a compliment, Tails. But I'll take it all the same," Sticks cooed, her face inches away from his. "If it makes you feel any better, you've made this hunt an exciting one. But it looks like for today, victory is mine."
"Huack! Don't..celebrate just yet, Sticks!" Tails grunted defiantly. "I-I've still got, grr... one trick left up my figurative sleeves!" He lied through his clenched teeth. He didn't really have a backup plan, but he wasn't bluffing either per se. Even now as he slowly lost the battle of strength against Sticks his mind raced to come up with some sort of ace in the hole.
"Oh, yeah?" Sticks raised an eyebrow. "Well, let's see this trick of yours then. Go ahead, surprise me."
And surprise her he did.
Tails moved without thinking, acting in desperation as he closed his eyes and launched his head up at Sticks.
In what is arguably the clumsiest most awkward headbutt of all times, Tails felt his lips crash right onto Sticks's own, cementing them in a rough kiss that completely took the badger off guard and sapped her of her phenomenal strength. He was sloppy and inexperienced in the art of swapping saliva, and it showed, but given this was his first time he could be forgiven for his atrocious technique, or lack thereof.
Sticks didn't seem to mind though.
Slowly but surely Sticks loosened her grip on Tails, losing the will to fight as she submitted herself to his sudden (but not at all unwelcomed) initiative. Like butter on a warm stack of flapjacks she melted into the kiss, savoring the moment for however long it lasted.
Feeling Sticks's grip slacken Tails broke free of her hold and grabbed onto her shoulder, rolling the two of them aside and pinning her down once he was on top.
They stayed in that position for some time until Tails finally pulled away from her, heaving heavily due to lack of oxygen. He wiped away the trail of spit that hung from his lower lip down to the corner of Sticks's mouth, the only remnant of the sweet kiss that was. It took over a few seconds of pregnant silence before the sheer magnitude of his impulsiveness set in and he felt his entire body swelter with heat.
Looking down at Sticks he saw that she was stuck in some sort of mental haze, chest heaving up and down, her eyes fluttering at the pure delight he had so generously graced her with. By the time she snapped out of her love induced stupor she could only stare up at Tails with the eyes of a graceful loser.
"Uh..." Tails drawled dumbly, his cheeks red and hot. "I guess I win?"
"Yeah, I guess you do," replied Sticks, smiling gently. "So... did you eat a bug earlier?"
"Whuah-?" Tails gave her an odd look. "How did you-"
"When you were using your tongue," she replied almost instantly.
Tails didn't say anything. He only covered his face in embarrassment and started subconsciously hovering upwards hoping he could just disappear into the clouds and never be seen again. Sticks, on the other hand, thought he looked absolutely adorable when he acted shy like that.